I was already cranky before this episode started, and now I'm EXTRA cranky. And unlike Queenriley, I didn't even have anything to drink to dull the pain.
WHATEVER.
Look, this episode should be awesome. It's our first teamup! You know what my feelings about teamups are? Pretty much that they are the BEST THINGS EVER. And it isn't even that I have an objection to the old!Billy plot. I don't even really have an objection to him moving to Aquitar. It is the execution of this combined with the poor acting on the part of fake!old!Billy and the poor dubbing that PISSES ME OFF. Well, that and the behind the scenes thing, but we've ranted about that before and I'm going to try not to curse a lot.
So, the episode begins with the Zeo Megazord under evil control with Billy stuck inside it. The other Rangers realize that hey, they have another Zord, so they take off after it, in what should be a great Megazord vs Megazord fight. Of course, they promptly lose control of their Zord to the ugly purse monster (because Finster is the best), while Cestro hits a control panel a few times which allows them to teleport Billy out.
Bulk and Skull are taking their detective license test (completely unsupervised) and a monster attack starts. They assume that this is part of the test and just keep working. Oh boys. They are... not very smart.
The Rangers decide to summon Auric, who attempts to convince the monsters that they are behaving badly. Seriously, he asks them if their behavior is really fair to the citizens of Angel Grove. How great is that? Kat's plan to take control of the Megazords again works, but wasn't much of a plan. They just... jump in, and also take advantage of the fact that Ugly Purse Monster is stupid.
Meanwhile, Delphine suggests that they use the Fountain of Youth Water from Aquitar and summon Cestria to bring it, and we're busy all capsing NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for a while, and also we're distracted by old!fake!Billy's weird folksy southern accent. Also, Cestria's outfit is the fugliest thing I've ever seen on this show. So Billy leaves with Cestria to get more treatment, and he doesn't even say goodbye and there is some SERIOUS RAGE.
While we're busy protesting Billy's departure, we get our first real teamup. THIS SHOULD BE AWESOME. 11 Rangers fighting together? WHY IS THIS EPISODE NOT GREAT? The Aquitians are just awesome and I love Delphine and just... why are they in such a shitty episode? Anyway, while the Aquitians + Jason handle the Cogs, the other Rangers calls their Zords to fight the monster, which includes such things as Kat and Tanya's zords doing the care bears stare. Then the monsters combine into one monster, and the Zeo Rangers summon their Zords and are all "yeah, we're done playing around" so they just pretty much bring out all the toys and smash the monsters to bits.
Bulk and Skull discover that a) they passed the test and b) they only passed because the examiners were impressed that they finished the test during a monster attack and promptly pass out into their ice cream.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS. We honestly debated just pasting our chat, but it's just a giant string of profanity interlaced with "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" so that's pretty pointless.
Cestria and Billy call and it is SO BADLY DUBBED and the words don't match the mouth at all and it doesn't even SOUND like Billy and DISTRACTED BY RAGE and basically for some reason Billy is staying behind to marry Cestria OR WHATEVER. Personally, I choose to believe one of the following possibilities.
1-The anti-aging thing actually worked too well and Billy is about to be 10 again and doesn't want everyone to feel guilty. (THIS IS BACKED UP BY HIM "BEING SPEECHLESS" AND VANISHING FROM THE SCREEN)
2-Billy is actually going to be busy creating the Turbo and/or Phantom powers and/or has been offered the opportunity to be a Grid Master.
3-BILLY CRANSTON, INTERGALACTIC SUPER SPY. Someone write me this immediately.
4-He's actually headed back to Earth to join Torchwood with Trini and Zack.
Fish: FIVE. ALL THE FISH.
Covered in food: REALLY, BULK AND SKULL? REALLY?
Fic we want: There are four possibilities up there! *points*
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4-He's actually headed back to Earth to join Torchwood with Trini and Zack.
ReplyDeleteIt would be AWESOME.