Episode 219 - A Drive to Win

YOU GUYS, IT'S CARLOS AND ASHLEY!!!!!!

I um, possibly ship them. JUST A LITTLE. Or a LOT

So, Adam is apparently coaching a soccer team. One that happens to have Carlos as the star player. Aww. However, Carlos hasn't even become a Ranger yet, and he still needs to learn the lesson about teamwork. He seems to be forgetting that soccer is a team sport, so he doesn't really pass to anyone. Winning is the most important thing, so when Adam gives him the speech about making sure everyone gets a chance to play and teamwork he seriously looks at Adam like he's from another planet. It's great.

Meanwhile, Ashley is off being a cheerleader. The cheers are horrible and one of the girls on the squad is complaining about how if she had known it would be this much work, she'd have joined the army instead. Cheerleading is hard work.

Back at the Juice Bar, Kat and Tanya are practicing with Tommy, which in this case means that they're mostly practicing judo and throwing him to the ground. I approve so hard. They also seem to be getting revenge for him spending so much time at the racetrack - Kat in particular is not impressed.

Divatox has a plan - she sends down some Pirahnatrons to annoy everyone at the soccer field, and we get an unmorphed fight. Except not just Adam - Carlos and Ashley fight as well! In fact, for some reason it seems as if Divatox is concentrating on them. Hmmm. Afterwords, Carlos offers to walk Ashley home, and she accepts, although she tells him that she doesn't need his protection. He agrees, but says he needed an excuse to talk to her. SHIP THEM SO MUCH.

Also, I maintain that the reason that Angel Grove's economy runs on martial arts is that 90% of the people take some sort of self defense class. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, that's probably a good idea.

Divatox plants a detonator at the soccer field, and it will activate when Angel Grove's team scores 4 goals against Stone Canyon - something Divatox is counting on Carlos to do. The bad guys cheering for Angel Grove is hilarious and awesome - they should do it more often. Carlos continues to play a very self-centered form of soccer, and when he tries to brag to Ashley, she tells him off, and he feels bad.

Of course, midway through the game (tied at 3-3) communicators go off, and Adam has to be the worst coach ever and leave in the middle of a game. There's some sort of ridiculous fight that makes no sense at all that involves the monster and Elgar on motorcycles that are shooting electricity or something? Then there are Zords, and wow, do I not care. MORE CARLOS AND ASHLEY.

Back at the soccer game, apparently nobody has scored at all while the Rangers were gone. Either there was halftime, or Stone Canyon seriously stepped up their game. Meanwhile, Justin has detected the Turbo Navigator, because he is SMART and carries his around with him. Which frankly, all the Rangers should be doing. He gets it from behind the scoreboard and deactivates it, just as Carlos remembers that teamwork exists and passes the ball to the teammate he'd been previously mocking. The teammate scores the 4th goal, and Angel Grove wins.

Ashley invites Carlos to walk her home, Divatox is sad, and Bulk and Skull are cheerleader!monkeys. Oh, and Divatox pretty much explicitly says that she was after Carlos and Ashley because of the Millenium Message. :D

I love this episode.

Fish: 2.5. How did Adam not get fired for LEAVING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME???

Episode 215 - Glyph Hanger

Hey, it's an Adam episode! Sadly, it sucks.

We begin at the stunt show, and man, I approve of that SO HARD. The theme of this stunt show is apparently ancient Egypt, so we've moved on from Grease. We briefly wonder if this time the stunt show cast will be convinced that they're the Pharaoh's guards, but no such luck. Instead, we find out that Divatox used to date some monster named Pharaoh (who is sadly not a Goa'uld) who has the same staff that is used at the stunt show. Divatox calls up her ex, who owes her a favor, and he goes to plant a detonator at the stunt show. Adam confuses the monster's staff for the one used at the stunt show, and takes the monster's staff home. It turns all writing into hieroglyphics.

I don't know why Adam apparently builds his own props for the stunt show. I guess they should hold a fundraiser or a martial arts expo or something, because this town is cheap.

One important thing - Pharaoh gets beaten up by some children. I know they're trying to make the monsters less scary or something, but that's just pathetic.

After all the writing is turning into hieroglyphics AND Piranhatrons have stolen back the monster's staff AND some old guy from the stunt show returns Adam's actual staff to him the Rangers figure out something is wrong and go to the stunt show. There's a "comical" sequence where the old guy proves he knows all the items at the show, and they figure out that the detonator is a pyramid. But before Adam can blow it up with a cannon monsters show up, and there's a fight, and then the monster grows, and if Divatox's big plan was to make children cry by blowing up the amusement park, why doesn't she just have a monster step on it?

The fight lasts a long while, so we get a night!Zord battle, which was pretty great.

Oh, and Bulk and Skull monkeys thought that they could tell their story by painting it on the side of the Youth Center. Monkey paintings are pretty awesome.

Fish: 4. Nothing about this makes any sense.

Covered in: Lt. Stone is covered in paint

Episode 204- Good As Gold

Today on Power Rangers- Rita and Zedd have a good plan, Bulk and Skull make their Fake!Daddy sad, and Rocky can't win life.

Subplot first because it doesn't really fit in with the rest. Bulk and Skull are cleaning because, for some reason, Detective Stone doesn't trust them with their own case. GEE I WONDER WHY. They get a note inside a balloon to meet somebody in the park at 4pm. They go in drag and Bulk's old lady voice is PURE GOLD. There is a random bad-French inspector who offers them a job. They take it, and go to Detective Stone to quit. Skull is very sad. Detective Stone is even more sad. HIS SADFACE, I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU. It broke my heart. Fake!Daddy will miss them.

We start off the main plot with Tommy teaching some teenagers in the Youth Center. I was unaware he was still teaching. Adam is too, apparently, and Jason must have started because everybody keeps wondering where he is. Even Emily shows up looking for him! He was supposed to meet her to show her some martial arts move but never showed. This kind of bothers me, actually. Why must ALL the girlfriends "learn some martial arts"? Can't one of them, at some point in time, just say "Hey, I really love watching your moves. But martial arts just isn't for me, sorry." and then go play soccer or read a book or something? GIRLS HAVE THEIR OWN INTERESTS OUTSIDE OF THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS INTERESTS SHOW. Seriously. Does everything have to revolve around martial arts in Angel Grove?

Ahem. Anyway. So Jason is apparently fighting a bunch of cogs in the forest. Mondo is there. Then Rita and Zedd are there. Then there are Tengas there, too. I'm beginning to wonder if this is a dream. Jason never uses his communicator. Zordon never notices something is amiss and calls for backup. JASON IS LEFT TO FIGHT ALL OF THAT ON HIS OWN. FAIL ZORDON. Major fail. Luckily, there is fighting between the Tengas and the Cogs which gives Jason a chance to run away. He makes it to the Youth Center, barely, where he promptly passes out on the floor. Everyone crowds around him. Ernie says he'll call an ambulance. YES. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN AN OTHERWISE HEALTHY YOUNG MAN COLLAPSES IN YOUR BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT. Tommy tells him not to bother and they take Jason away. NO TOMMY. YOU CALL THE AMBULANCE AND DEAL WITH THE FALLOUT LATER.

Zordon and Alpha analyze Jason, showing off his very, very pretty arms, and discover the powers are leaving him and draining him of his life force in the process. They must contact Triforia and get the Treys there to fix things. Except Trey hasn't been able to form back into one. He cannot take the powers. Zordon knows of a way he can bounce a communication beam off a specific spot on Triforia, Aquitar, and Earth and it can restore Trey to one. Luckily that spot happens to be in Angel Grove. Except that makes no sense and really wouldn't work. Not in any way, shape, or form.

Jason is determined to try, however, so Tommy and Adam support him while Kat and Rocky lead with the map Alpha gave them. The Treys just kind of follow along. They are attacked by cogs, however, and everybody runs as fast as they can towards the right spot. Jason calls on the Gold Ranger staff and uses it to beat cogs about the head. He is too weak to fight, though, and Rocky has to teleport in right in front of him to take the blows meant for him. OH ROCKY. I COULDN'T LOVE YOU MORE THAN I DO RIGHT NOW. (the whole jumping in front to take the beating meant for somebody else? Yeah, it's a thing I love) Jason makes it to the correct spot and, surrounded by the Treys, manages to catch the beam bouncing back from the planets. Y'know, the planets that are millions of light years away. SCIENCE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS. NOT EVEN CLOSE TO LIKE THIS.

The powers transfer to a newly unified Trey and Jason sits out the rest of the fight. The fight where Mondo is HUGE and then the rangers grow HUGE as well. They win the fight and Mondo runs away. Whereupon he finds Rita and Zedd waiting to deliver a present to them after stoking their ego a lot. Sprocket takes it, Zedd says he'll "catch them on the flipside" (awwwwKim), and they run far far away. The present explodes. The rulers of the Machine Empire are in pieces. Literally.

Back on Earth, Jason is semi-emo on a hill. Tommy comes to talk to him and is very bad at the "Losing your powers sucks, but we'll always be friends" speech. At least he tries, though. Jason says it's okay. Things aren't that bad. He has Emily. They walk off into the sunset together, so ten years down the line they can have their only son and name him Schuyler, but everybody will call him Sky.

Poor Rocky. Once again, left behind by his boyfriend for a girl.

4.5 fish. The science fail was overwhelming in this episode.

Fic we want: A GOOD Tommy and Jason powers/it's okay talk.

Episode 181 - Game of Honor

Oh look, two Adam/Tanya episodes in a row! I am so happy! *does a little dance*

So, the episode begins with Adam running through the forest in a sweatshirt. A sweatshirt. Really? Look, I understand that he probably has some body armor on underneath, but a sweatshirt? He has NICE ARMS.

Anyway, Adam is being attacked by ninjas, and he fights them, and beats them all. Because frankly, he is that amazing. He finds some weird glowy disc on the ground, and the ninjas stop attacking. That's right, Adam just beat all the other Rangers. Because he is that awesome. (Personally, I feel that Billy should have been allowed to join in on the attacking. Turns out that this is Adam's version of training for a kung fu tournament. Hell yeah. :DDDDD

They discuss the device, and Tommy suggests that they take it to Billy. That is one of the smarter things that Tommy has ever done. The device apparently has some sort of energy, but they aren't quite sure what it is.

On the beach, Adam is showing off with swords! I'm not sure why he's using swords for a sparring competition, but I appreciate the sight. So does Tanya, who is clearly enjoying the view. Her asshat ex-boyfriend shows up, along with Veronica from the Angel Girls Club. Turns out Shawn is competing in the competition as well, and Tanya says "we're" training for the tournament. I'm sorry, Tanya, I find couple speak annoying as hell. I love you, but no. Adam is training. You are watching. Shawn claims that he has a secret weapon, one that will let him win the tournament and become a Ranger. Tanya says that Adam does too - it's called honor. And Shawn, you will never become a Ranger. Sorry, no asshats allowed. (This season.)

At the detective agency, Bulk and Skull are in suits, and they look pretty great. Detective Stone says that some trees in Angel Grove Forest are disappearing, and Skull suggests beavers. Beavers! That is great. But they go investigating, and we get some more shots of Adam showing off. Bulk and Skull keep investigating, and then they see some more of the shiny things. They go investigate, and a monster promptly shows up. Bulk and Skull get themselves kidnapped. Again. We should probably get a tag for this.

Up at the Power Chamber, Billy shows off what the medallion can do - it turns someone invisible! This lets them figure out that Mondo is hiding an armada in the forest. I don't know why he's doing it in Angel Grove when he has a moon base, but whatever. Oh, and it turns out that Shawn has a medallion as well, and that's his secret weapon. I don't see why he thinks this will work - so the judges aren't just going to immediately disqualify him when he vanishes? REALLY? REALLY? Logic, it does not work like that. Everyone is failing today.

Bulk and Skull are still being held captive, and Skull is playing the harmonica. It is adorable. Bulk tells him to stick to the piano. I love them. :D

Adam has made it to the finals, but he's summoned back from the tournament to go fight. They rescue Bulk and Skull (who are sleeping, since they are clearly used to this by now) and then there's a Zord fight and I don't actually care that much. Billy fires a laser at the moon and destroys the power source for the invisible things. "They sank my battleships."

At the tournament, the finals are Adam vs Shawn. Bulk and Skull explain to Detective Stone that Bulk covered himself in poison ivy when they disguised themselves as trees, but that they escaped from the Machine Empire using brute force. Their fake!Daddy is so proud of them.

Shawn decides not to use the medallion, and Veronica is so confused by this. For some reason, Adam doesn't instantly beat Shawn. I guess he's worried about looking bad in front of Tanya or something. Tanya wishes Adam luck, and calls him sweetie! Most adorable couple ever. In the fight, Adam is red, and you guys, AU where Adam is the red ranger. Make it happen! Adam wins, best 2 out of 3! Shawn apologizes for being a jackass, and Shawn tries to hug Tanya, and Adam is all "break it up." FAAAAAAAAAAAVORITES.

Fish: 2.5

Fic we want: Red Ranger!Adam! And more Adam/Tanya. I always want more Adam/Tanya.

Episode 177- Trust In Me

So due to a very inconsiderate Spousal Person who feels the need to rile up the Small People right before bedtime, and right in the room I'm attempting to recap in, I missed about half this episode. Luckily I've watched it a lot... mostly because it involves Rocky being awkward, inept, and PRETTY.

The title of this episode always makes me feel icky- skin crawling icky- and that kind of sets the tone for the rest of the episode.

So there is a lot of fail in this episode. Rocky spends a good chunk of it trying to help the Poor Blind Girl when really all he needed to do was try to be her friend.

We start off with Tanya, Rocky, and Billy (OMGSOMUCHPRETTY on my screen) heading towards a Martial Arts Expo at the Youth Center. They've heard talk of an amazing young woman who can take down three attackers at once. And sure enough, she does. In under a minute. Everybody claps because that was really impressive. Then they discover she's blind and everybody claps harder. Because... she's blind and did something awesome? Is that really a surprise, show? *sigh*

So Rocky introduces himself, Tanya, and Billy. Because he really likes this young woman. Billy compliments her style and asks where she learned how to fight like that. She automatically assumes he's asking because she's blind (and I guess I can't blame her, I'm sure she gets that A LOT), but honestly... knowing Billy... it really just sounded like an honest inquiry into her martial arts school. But then they all fall over themselves to help her pick up her bag and I can't excuse THAT. She can pick up her own bag, guys. She's blind, not in a vegetative state.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are trying to pass the undercover test and are hiding in plain sight from Lt. Stone. He manages to miss them each and every time.

Rocky first tries the worst apology ever ("Sorry you were offended by what we did" is not an apology, dude) and she once again blows him off. He's totally smitten, though, because he gives her googly anime eyes while she reads a story to Tiny Children (in the high school?). Then he catches her in the park, gives a somewhat better apology, and she decides to give the poor guy a break. He's being REALLY awkward. It's... kind of cute, actually, and apparently she appreciates the effort.

As they're walking, she hears a strange noise. As she's asking him what it was, his communicator goes off. He tells her he's going to go find out what the noises were, and I give him credit for at least not outright lying... he DID go find out what the noises meant. I guess Rocky figured out how to answer without really answering, since he's probably the second worst liar of the lot (there is a reason we have a 'Tommy is a lousy liar' tag).

He ends up morphing and going to fight a monster. The others quickly join him. The thing is, the monster doesn't really want to fight. He wants to be friends. The rangers end up near Penny and she immediately places Rocky's voice. He has to demorph and go hang with her for a bit before he gets away again to observe the monster.

The monster ends up being attacked by cogs and Rocky jumps in to help. Because he's Rocky and he's sweet and, just like his far-into-the-future fellow blue ranger Flynn, he just wants to HELP people. Except Mondo is controlling the monster and manages to up his aggression, so he attacks the rangers. Rocky gets to fight this one solo! Tommy even lets him use his Defender Wheel (Flynn did it better!) to blow up the monster.

Back at the Youth Center, Lt. Stone is hitting on two women. In actuality, it's Bulk and Skull in drag. *bangs head against keyboard* Meanwhile, Penny can pick Rocky's voice out of the all the Rangers, but she apparently can't place that any of the others had been there. I'm guessing she got some fish in her ears.

3 fish. It wasn't too bad, but it really could have been better.

Episode 82- The Ninja Encounter Part 1

OMG IT'S STONE CANYON TRIO TIME! I am very much going to miss Jason, Zack, and Trini, of course. But I adore Rocky, Adam, and Aisha too much to not love these episodes. And I think we all know 's feelings on the subject.

So we open on Angel Grove Park with our group of six rangers. They're hanging out and jamming to some music on a huge radio. I feel old. Even more telling, Tommy is wearing green. How very random and not at all a cover for using old footage due to no longer having Thuy Trang, Walter Jones, and Austin St. John on the payroll. *cough* Ahem.

Anyway, so then we see some wholesome looking teenagers rollerblading down the sidewalk. They stop and say hello to Mr. Anderson. No, not THAT Mr. Anderson, but rather a middle aged teacher from Stone Canyon High. Mr. Anderson is pushing his son in a stroller and discuses the upcoming ninja tournament. Later, on a park bench, Mr. Anderson is sitting with Jacob, his son. His toddler son. His roughly 18 months to 2 years old son. And he's just... sitting. On the bench. Quietly. Who is this toddler and what drugs did they give him to sit still for that long? Drama Queen and Emo Kid both could never sit still for that long at that age... heck, at 8 and 4 they still can't. So Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler Jacob pushes his stroller and it runs into some motorcycles. The trio of Bad Teens confront Mr. Anderson (and dear lord, I will never hear that name without hearing it in Hugo Weaving's voice), who then puts Jacob in the stroller and apologizes for what happened, despite the fact that flimsy plastic stroller rolling at about 2 miles an hour down a hill does NO DAMAGE to a freakin motorcycle.

And I think we all know what happens next. The stroller, with Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler gets bumped and takes off rolling down the sidewalk! Unattended! Oh noes! Whoever will save the freakishly quiet toddler?!?! Who will stop him as he careens down... grassy hills? Seriously? Has anybody on set ever bothered to push a stroller, particularly over grass? They don't move well, quickly, or easily. It takes a lot of effort. But despite, the stroller runs away and we are wondering who will ever save this poor not-of-this-world baby? Why, Rocky, Adam, and Aisha will give it a go! They hear Mr. Anderson scream for Jacob and take off blading towards the runaway stroller. Luckily, Kim, Billy, and Tommy also hear the screams for help and they take off running too. As the stroller goes shooting past Bulk and Skull, with the Stone Canyon Trio knocking into Skull who hits a hot dog vendor who squirts something all over Bulk, Bulk and Skull realize a baby is in distress and THEY join the chase as well. There is lots of physically impossible stunts from both the actors and the stroller (seriously, they don't come with a steering wheel... they can't just veer around trees like that). Aisha and Kim both get launched into the air and grab hold of the stroller just as it gets ready to careen off a cliff. They pick up Jacob and hand him over to Mr. Anderson, who has finally caught up. Bulk and Skull, satisfied the child is safe, collapse onto a picnic table, out of breath from the chase.

Mr. Anderson takes Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler away and our Ranger Trio get to know the Stone Canyon Trio. Adam and Aisha alternately hold hands, when Adam isn't staring at Kim's breasts. But frankly, we can't blame him. Who wouldn't want to stare at her breasts? The Ranger Trio ask if the Stone Canyon Trio are there to watch the Ninja Competition and they are not even remotely subtle when they answer "Something like that". They then make fun of Bulk and Skull some and that makes me sad because y'know, they were just trying to help and did literally nothing to provoke it. It's not nice to make fun of people who are genuinely trying to HELP.

We jump ahead to the actual ninja competition and we see the back of people who are obviously not Thuy Trang, Walter Jones, and Austin St. John. It's like they didn't even TRY. The ninja competition is more a case of martial arts in a ninja suit than ninja-like. I would have expected a test on stealth or ability to silently scale walls or something, but instead it's just a lot of jumping around and kicking with their faces covered. The team in black plays really dirty and the team in white is wholesome and rule abiding and they win. Of course, our wholesome ninjas just happen to be our wholesome rollerblading Stone Canyon Trio! Mr. Anderson stands up and hands Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler over to Bulk so he can cheer for his students. Mind, why he can't cheer while holding his kid I don't know, but whatever. The Stone Canyon Trio are very excited and hold their trophy high while Rocky gropes Adam in the middle of the ring. He's totally thinking "I'm going to pounce on you in the locker room." and Adam seems quite pleased with this plan.

Outside, our Ranger Trio are congratulating the Stone Canyon Trio and they all agree to hang out together sometime VERY VERY SOON. The Ranger Trio heads out while Mr. Anderson puts Jacob in the car and the Stone Canyon Trio get ready to leave with him. But wait! Zedd wants to capture these awesome ninja teens and use them for his own nefarious purposes, so he sends down Goldar to wrap them all up in the Glowing Rope of Doom (and bondage)! The Ranger Trio turns to help but then get attacked by a pyramid of putties. So they fight the putties while Goldar grabs Mr. Anderson and then disappears. Bulk and Skull, having seen this, immediately go to make sure "the baby" is okay. He is fine, but sitting in the most atrocious carseat ever. I know 90's safety was lax compared to what we have today, but Holy Internal Decapitation Risk Batman! Jacob is sitting in a shield booster, which is deadly, and no harness. For a kid who is supposed to be under 2, that's... frightening. Emo Kid was 4 before he turned forward facing and he's still in a harness. Drama Queen was over 6 before getting out of a harness and into a booster, and she's still in a high back booster at nearly 9. And in the early 90's, it was appropriate to put toddlers in what amounts to a death trap (though for the record, I was in a harness until I was 4... in the very early 1980's... so it's not like the safe seats weren't available, it's just that most people didn't know better). I feel really really old now.

Uh, anyway, my rant aside, we move on to Bulk and Skull walking off with Jacob to keep him safe. It's freaking ADORABLE. The Ranger Trio see that everybody has been taken and immediately contact Zordon. They appear in a very bad combination of new footage where they look off screen at the non-existent Jason, Zack, and Trini and old footage where everybody is on screen. Except there is a huge discrepancy in quality between the old footage and the new footage so... yeah. Anyway. The Stone Canyon Trio and Mr. Anderson are all chained up in a cave. Rocky doesn't know who Lord Zedd is and Adam says they'll (atrocious dialogue alert!) never use their powers for evil. Rocky is wearing a vest with no shirt underneath. I feel his removing this vest would vastly help the escape plan they are formulating. Not that I'm biased or anything...

In the park, Bulk and Skull are trying to entertain Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler. He is... unnaturally calm. And quiet. Skull tells him to go fetch a squishy cube, but he is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Bulk pulls out a grocers worth of food from a bag, but he is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Skull pulls out a bottle and squirts milk all over Bulk on accident and Jacob is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Bulk and Skull sing I'm a little teapot and it's ADORABLE! But Jacob is still unnaturally calm and quiet. Seriously, this little kid is freaking me out. It's just... toddlers don't sit still! Toddlers don't have a volume control! This kid is FREAKY.

Back in the cave, the Stone Canyon Trio have come up with a plan. Before they can do anything, Aisha must pull a Very Convenient bobby pin from her hair and pick the lock. She PICKS THE LOCK people. Because she is AWESOME. And somehow knows how. And as she's doing so, we get a big To Be Continued...

List time!

Good lord that was a lot of "plot" for one episode.
2 fish. It was consistent! It had plot! It was Very Very Pretty!

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: Bulk in something from a hot dog stand and milk

Episode 78- White Light Part 2

I hate this episode. I really really hate this episode.

So we get the best opening shot ever, and that's the only good thing in the entire episode. We open with a close up of Billy's gorgeous gorgeous eyes looking through the grate over the secret room where Zordon and Alpha are creating the white ranger. They can't hear him talk for the fish in their ears, and he leaves to go tell the others.

Back in Billy's garage, he tells them about the new ranger. Instead of being all excited and "OMGSOAWESOMENEWRANGERYAY!", they're being emotastic and worried. They don't want somebody new intruding into their group and they feel it's a slap in the face to Tommy to give somebody else new powers. Uh, did nobody stop and think that hey, rather than tell yet another person their secret identities, Zordon just might, possibly, be making this new power for, gosh, I don't know... Tommy? Really? Nobody came to this EXTREMELY LOGICAL conclusion? Apparently not, because everybody is really depressed and even Jason, in his cautious optimism, just looks constipated.

Meanwhile, in Skull's garage/basement/wherever they happen to be, Bulk and Skull are still trying everything they can think of to open the space dumpster. Skull gets an idea and drags Bulk off to Ernie's. They head off, and Rita lifts the lid from inside the dumpster proclaiming her need to get out of there. Uh... if Rita can open it from inside, why can't Bulk and Skull lift it off from outside? And wouldn't there be some kind of magical lock in place preventing Rita from lifting it from the inside? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of locking her up in the first place, if she can just throw off the lid and walk away at any time?

In Billy's garage, they've all been pacing and looking sad. Zordon finally contacts them to tell them about the new ranger, and they all teleport to the Command Center to listen. They still look upset and I just don't get WHY. So Zordon calls down the white light and the white ranger comes floating down from above. It's very dramatic-Jesus-like and I want to slam my head against something repeatedly. He takes off his helmet and Billy smiles and says he can't believe it. Really, Billy? In your super intelligent overly logical brain did it never once occur to you who would be in that suit? *sigh*

And then we see Kim faint. Nobody else sees her faint, but she faints. She FAINTS people. She sees Tommy and PASSES THE FUCK OUT. This is why I hate this episode. Does she, the one who has beaten more monsters on her own than the rest of the team combined, not have the fortitude to STAY CONSCIOUS when surprised with Tommy? SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE HELL SHOW?

(and now that I've rewritten that four times and calmed down enough for just that bit, I'll move on)

So then we see that it's Tommy in the white ranger outfit. Well colour me surprised. Or not. Everybody is all excited and shocked and acting like idiots. Tommy pushes them aside because nobody else saw Kim faint, but he's worried. He calls her princess, lifts her from the ground, and tells her to wake up. And miraculously, she wakes up. And can't believe it's Tommy. She's sure she's dreaming. I bruise my forehead slamming it against the desk. Luckily I thought to move the keyboard out of the way first.

Zordon then tells them that Tommy was the obvious choice to be the NEW LEADER of the Power Rangers. Hold the phone! New LEADER? Leader? Really? What, Jason suddenly isn't capable? He's not good enough anymore? Tommy is infinitely better at being leader than Jason and so he gets to just usurp the role?? WHY? I can see Tommy taking over once Jason leaves and the Stone Canyon Trio move in. But right now? While Jason is still doing an awesome job of being leader? WHAT THE HELL SHOW?!?!??!!

Luckily they cut back to Bulk and Skull before I can YET AGAIN go into rage blackout. Bulk and Skull are using a massively large can opener trying to open the dumpster. We can only assume Ernie had such a large can opener because he needed it to open the massive tin of fish it took to create this episode.

So back at the Command Center, Zordon appraises them of the monster and some putties, Rita getting out of her dumpster, and the need to go take care of this. Oh but wait, the zords were damaged and Billy didn't fix them. Zordon sends Billy and Trini to go fix the zords, Tommy to deal with the monster, and Jason, Kim, and Zack to deal with a bunch of putties. So Tommy jumps around, his zord damages a lot of land, and we meet Saba, the talking sabre. I like Saba. He can be annoying, but I don't care. I like him anyway. So Tommy kind of fails at controlling his zord and it falls over. He makes a comment about having never had a partner before so they'll just have to learn to work together. Excuse me? Never had a partner before? What, did you beat all those monsters in season 1 and the first half of 2 all on your own there, Tommy? Nobody else helped you? You didn't have multiple learn to cooperate already episodes? *sigh*

So he eventually figures out how to work the zord and then he makes it fight by doing martial arts in the cockpit. It's ridiculous, but not quite as bad as firing weapons inside equating to firing weapons outside (I'm looking at you, RPM). Tommy really sucks at this and then somehow ends up on the side of a mountain. I don't even... whatever.

Jason calls his zord and we wonder a)how the zords were fixed so quickly and b)who told Jason. But apparently both happened because Jason goes to fight alongside Tommy, and ends up with his thunderzord riding Tommy's zord. Oh show. They battle in a pathetic jousting match and then separate to combine with the other zords and form a new Megazord. The new Megazord can shoot Kim's zord at enemies with effects reminiscent of Tron. And now I want to go watch Tron. They win the battle, the Megazord and Jason's zord shake hands for some reason, and then we cut back to Bulk and Skull.

So Bulk and Skull eventually collapse from the effort and while they aren't looking, Rita throws off the lid and climbs out of the dumpster. She yells at Bulk and Skull and they pass out from fright. But alas, her escape isn't meant to be because the rangers are there too and they put her back in her dumpster, toss the lid back on haphazardly, and then leave with the dumpster. The boys go send it back into space while Kim and Trini hang out in Skull's garage/basement/whatever. They wake up and nobody questions why Kim and Trini are there, but whatever. The girls are mean about Bulk and Skull hallucinating a little witch.

At the Youth Center, they are having a surprise party for Tommy. They talk, loudly, about Tommy being a ranger again and Jason gets confused when trying to compare Tommy's surprise being more surprising than their surprise party. In walk Ritchie and Curtis. Ritchie has apparently won a trophy at a martial arts tournament that none of the rangers took part in, and the Angel Grove economy keeps on spinning. He shows off some moves for them and manages to kick a large sheet cake that Ernie just finished decorating. It goes flying and lands on Bulk and Skull, who just walked in. They promptly turn and walk right back out while everybody laughs at them.

*sigh* Did I mention I hate this episode?

List time:
5 fish. There isn't enough gefitle fish in the world to explain away this episode.

Billy speak: borderline, but the closest we get is "All the energy is being concentrated into the creation of a new Ranger."

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull covered in cake.

Episode 51- Grumble Bee

My little shipper heart absolutely DELIGHTS in this episode. I think I've watched it more often than any other PR episode in it's entire seventeen season run.

So we start out remembering that Angel Grove lacks quality education because Mrs. Applebee, portraying the role of Science Teacher Applebee, is handing out test results. She apologizes to Billy as she hands him his test. He got a B. He's heartbroken! Mrs. Applebee reminds the class that they need top grades to get into the Young Scientists of America Club. Poor Billy is so distraught he can't even be bothered to pick up his backpack, instead dragging it along the ground behind him. He laments his sad, sad little B and Kim attempts to reassure him that a B is still a wonderful grade. After all, she gets them all the time. He appreciates the effort, but he has apparently never in his life ever gotten a B before. I must wonder why he's not in honours classes, advanced a few grades, or gotten his doctorate by this point. Bulk and Skull are mean and tease him, but he can't even give them what for. Poor Billy is the emo-est of all Emo Rangers for just this one episode. Poor little Emo Ranger.

Jason says Billy should take a break and go play some basketball, but I have to wonder if Jason has ever actually paid attention to Billy before. Billy isn't the type to relax and unwind with SPORT. He's just... not. Trini offers to help him "study" and Billy immediately cheers up. Yes, Trini helps him "study" rather a lot apparently. He brightens up so much there is no way it's anything BUT a euphemism. Oh, I'm sorry, was my OTP bias showing a bit there? Let me just go tuck that in.

So Billy and Trini go off to "study" and we discover Billy missed ONE question on the test (what, where there like five questions on a two page test? We assume Mrs. Applebee just asks really long, drawn out questions... or can't do math). The question he missed was about bee classification in the insect kingdom.

Meanwhile, Jason, Zack, and Kim are playing basketball. Putties attack, of course, and we get some really awesome moves from each of them using the basketball as a weapon. Normally fight scenes bore me, but this one was pretty good. They seem to have a handle on things when Goldar shows up with more putties and the Glowing Rope of DOOM. The putties overwhelm the rangers and manage to tie them up. Kim is so little she could probably just slip down between Jason and Zack and get out, but she doesn't even try. It's okay. They all seem to have a thing for bondage on this show. We understand why they don't try too hard to get away.

Rita has sent down her Grumble Bee monster while Jason, Zack, and Kim are all tied up. Zordon was actually paying attention for a change and contacts Billy and Trini about the Grumble Bee and the tied-up rangers. Trini calls out the morphing call and off they go to fight! Together! Just the two of them! They confront the Bee and have a short conversation about the people in your neighborhood. They fight and Billy is weakened by the venom. We then discover the Grumble Bee has some kind of ultrasonic waves that overwhelm them. They bravely run away.

Back at the Command Center, Zordon tells them they have to fight the bee while Alpha tries to break through the Glowing Rope of DOOM to set the others free. Jason reassures them it's the right thing to do, so back to the fight they go. Grumble Bee shoots them with highly toxic... uh... silly string. Billy is affected, but he manages to continue to fight. Meanwhile, Alpha narrows some sort of beam and manages to cut the Glowing Rope of DOOM so the others join the fight. He then gets back to work on some sort of weapon. Apparently it's a case of battery-in-backwards again and he flips something around to finish the weapon. It looks just like a Super Soaker. He sends it to Billy while the others are incapacitated and Billy uses it to shoot foam all over the Bee. Apparently, it really is a Super Soaker.

Rita says, oddly, "Make the monster... giant." for a change. The Zords are called, they get the MegaZord, and then the Bee shoots them with that ultrasonic crap again. He looks more like he's doing the Care Bear stare than anything else. The MegaZord needs more power, they call the Power Sword, the Bee says it probably isn't real, and then he gets blown up good and proper. End of fight.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Zack both have pretty arms while sparring. Tommy shows up in a random five second appearance. Apparently he's been restoring the Angel Grove economy by winning a karate tournament. And then Billy comes bouncing in. No, literally, he bounces. He apparently got an A+ on his test and has been admitted to the Young Scientists of America Club. As if there were any doubt. Trini is very proud of him. Bulk and Skull are apparently flipping out at a table, both studying very hard. Skull is so stressed he's tearing pages out of the book and TSB and I flail and bite our hands and can't really handle this part. Books! You don't do that to books! NYAH! Bulk says if he doesn't get a C on the next test, Mrs. Applebee is going to make the six students with the highest grades tutor him all summer. Uh... I don't think she can just volunteer people like that? And way to punish the kids that actually do their work. Anyway, Zack counts the six rangers and then they all rush to attempt to help Bulk and Skull study. Skull is still tearing pages. I'm very bothered.

Lists!

2.5 fish.

Covered in food: nobody

Billy speak: Lots, though most of it's borderline.
"I'm most perplexed. I've never received a B before."

"I appreciate your efforts, but acceptance into the young scientists of America club is very important to me."

"It's a term which defines a specific order of insects, such as bees."

"The ultrasonic waves are too powerful. We have to find the monster's weakness."

"The venom is highly toxic. It's eating through my suit."

Episode 46 - To Flea Or Not To Flee

We open in the Youth Center. Zack is collecting donations, and amazingly, he isn't wearing any black. We're almost too busy being shocked by this to realize that Zack is collecting donations to save the Youth Center. Apparently it's going out of business. We have two theories on this. First, we haven't had a martial arts tournament in a while, so maybe the boys should get on that. Alternately, the Rangers could just start paying for their food and drinks. That would probably help them.

Jason walks in carrying a puppy. We're confused as to why he's carrying it, but he's showing off his arms nicely, so we can't really complain about that. Plus, the dog is really cute. Puppy! Meanwhile, at the high school, Bulk and Skull find a reward poster for the dog. Gee, I wonder how the Youth Center will be saved? Skull also has really ridiculous hair.

Up on the moon, Rita has found footage of a monster that can be used! Or else the Zyu2 footage arrived. We really need to watch Sentai. Maybe in 2015 after we finish RPM. Rita is having Finster use the monstermatic machine to create a Fighting Flea, that actually just looks like a lobster. Squatt is all excited, and actually says that "it's launcheroonie time!"

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie is being really nice, and the Rangers keep going on about how they can't let him close. Just pay your damn bill, Rangers! Jason realizes that he should take the dog for a walk, and Kim volunteers to go with him. So Jason carries the dog out to the park. It's called a walk, not a carry. But it shows off his arms, so.

Rita zaps the dog with the flea monster, and Jason then starts itching. While he's being distracted by itching, Bulk and Skull steal the dog, as they want to claim the reward.

Goldar starts monologing about how now it is time to destroy the Red Ranger. Oh, Goldar, you are a little obsessed, aren't you?

Putties show up to attack Kim and Jason, and as soon as the Putties touch Jason, they get covered with fleas. They stop fighting to go fall on the ground and start itching. Kim and Jason realize that something is wrong, so they go to the Command Center, where Zordon provides Jason with a temporary antidote. If he comes back in contact with the monster, he will start itching again. Jason starts admiring his arms and the giant rash that covers them.

Bulk and Skull call the number for the reward. They have to go to a phone booth. Which... oh my god, we are SO OLD. Just as they start calling, Rita has the flea monster jump off the dog, and it attacks them. It sounds just like Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks.

The Rangers split up. Jason and Kim go to look for the dog, Billy goes to create a better antidote, and Trini and Zack go to the Youth Center. The Flea monster goes to attack Jason, because he thinks he's tasty. We can agree with that. As soon as the monster shows up, Jason starts itching, which apparently means he has to start doing flips. IDK.

The other Rangers show up, and there's a giant fight in a junkyard. I feel as though they should be singing and then turning into children. Yes, this is just an excuse to link to High School Musical. Do not judge us.

Billy has found an antidote, so Jason stops itching, and then Rita makes the Flea grow. For some reason, the fight is in slow motion. Hmm. I guess they had time to kill.

After winning the battle (Power Sword for the win!) the Rangers go back to the Youth Center, where Ernie is feeding the dog chili. The dog's owner shows up, and thanks them for finding Pierre, and asks who to give the reward to. The Rangers say Ernie, and then they can keep the Juice Bar open! I still don't see how this fixes Ernie's problem, especially when he immediately gives the Rangers pizza and soda on the house.

Bulk and Skull show up, still itching. Billy wonders if he should give them the cure, and so they go and give them FLEA COLLARS that they have to wear for a WEEK. OMGWTF WHY ARE THEY SUCH BULLIES?!

Fish: 3.5 This was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "Ernie's operating expenses far exceeded his revenues."
Trini Translation: "He's broke." (Seriously, Kim needed that translated?)

Covered in: Bulk, Skull and Jason get covered in fleas.