Episode 213 - Bicycle Built for the Blues

Oh hey! It's Justin's birthday! We.... should have delayed this episode, but both of us have blocked out forgotten most of Turbo, or else we would totally have watched this next week.

The Rangers are plotting a surprise party for Justin, and I'm going to use this as an excuse to rant about how much I hate surprise parties. Mostly the ones that have the "and we're going to pretend all day that nothing special is going on" variety, but I guess they haven't learned anything from Zack's surprise party so long ago.

Divatox figures she'll give Justin a special gift too, and sends a bike that turns into a detonator that will explode after he bikes 25 miles. Justin (who is sad because the Rangers are all ignoring him/won't let him into the garage) assumes the bike is from his dad, and is apparently superglued to it instantly or something because he doesn't stop peddling/jump off the bike/crash into a tree like he should.

After all the Rangers leave the party set up because Dimitria actually noticed something was going on (SHOCKING) monkey!Bulk and Skull throw their own party, complete with a "Hey, hey, we're the monkees!" joke. I APPROVE.

While Tommy chases around the MOTW (named Big Burpa. Seriously) Adam, Kat and Tanya just stand there. Then they join in and chase after it some more. Then there's some more chase scenes. Justin still fails to crash into a tree. Oh, and the bike floats. When they suggest Justin stop peddling, he acts like he never thought of that, but yeah, he can't due to magic.

So Tommy summons his ZORD which starts driving and Tommy perches on the car and knocks Justin off the bike. Who was driving the Zord? If Justin was superglued to the bike, wouldn't that have seriously hurt? Who came up with this stupid plot???

They morph and fight the monster and it's really boring. Then everyone heads back to the garage, and aww, Justin's party is happening, and there's actually a bunch of kids! I guess the other people from the shelter? Bulk and Skull give Justin a banana. Justin is still sad, because his dad isn't there.

Except then his dad shows up for the party. And look, we totally understand having a breakdown after losing the wife - that makes sense. But he seems to be fairly recovered now, so why is he still leaving Justin in the shelter?

Justin needs ALL THE HUGS.

(Congrats, Justin, it only took a movie and 8 episodes to win us both over.)

Fish: 3.5 JUST JUMP OFF THE DAMN BIKE.

Episode 183 - A Small Problem

There were possibly some margaritas before recapping, so I apologize in advance for any incoherency.

Tommy, Kat, Raymond the Token Jew, and Tanya are working together on some terrarium project. Tanya is going to stay behind and work on the terrarium while the others go capture some lizards and spiders and stuff. Eww, spiders. DNW. Kat is all "What could go wrong in the desert" and we are all "KAT, you are a RANGER. DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS."

Meanwhile, Sprocket has accidentally figured out how to shrink stuff. Mondo is very proud of him, even though it was an accident. They will totally shrink the Rangers.

Bulk and Skull have apparently been hired to find Old Man Murphy's goldmine. They seek the motherlode, which as far as I'm concerned is just a cheat code for The Sims. Also, they have so clearly graduated by this point.

In the desert, Raymond gives Kat and Tommy orders on what to do. He is all "I AM GETTING AN A, DO YOUR JOBS. WHY AM I STUCK WITH GROUP PROJECTS????" but that might be my own hatred of group projects coming through.

Of course, considering Tommy and Kat and Tommy's jeep promptly get shrunk by Sprocket, he was right to be concerned. (I was going to make a "Honey, I Shrunk the Rangers" joke, but apparently I need to save that for Turbo. Damn.) Sprocket decides to keep them as his pets throws them in the terrarium that Tanya is supposed to be painting, and then they have to fight a GIANT TARANTULA. Which is creepy. I hate spiders.

Raymond shows up at the youth center, all pissed off that he was abandoned in the desert, which is a justifiable anger, and Tanya tries Tommy and Kat on the communicators. But apparently because they were shrunk, their communicators don't have enough power to contact Zordon. Whatever, he was probably busy anyway.

The Gold Ranger shows up, and then the rest of the Rangers get there, and there's a fight, and everything is really boring, and eventually Billy figures out how to unshrink them, and then there are Zords and they form the Ultrazord, and dude, be more boring.

It's briefly hinted that Skull might be the Gold Ranger, which would have been awesome. Oh, and Bulk and Skull didn't find gold, they found fool's gold. Whatever.

Fish: 4. There was a lot of ridiculous science in this one.

Episode 172- There's No Business Like Snow Business Part 3

Why do I seem to get most of the science fail episodes? WHY, Power Rangers, WHY???

Last time on Power Rangers- Kim dumped Tommy. Billy and Kat took Tommy to go snowboarding to cheer him up. Billy and Kat tried to force a very nice girl on him.

Mondo has sent down the Defoliater and every time anybody says that all I can hear is the Defiler. Oh Power Rangers. You're a very bad show (or I'm a very bad girl... same difference). They turned this into a Very Special Episode in order to teach kids about global warming. Except they're doing it ALL WRONG. They don't talk about what climate change really means, no, instead they just talk about how it's getting all hot outside. *headdesk*

So Tommy, Kat, and Billy check out and head home. They keep pushing him to stay for Heather, except he's CLEARLY NOT READY GUYS. He tells her they have to leave and he wishes he could explain (seriously, just say there's a family emergency, it's NOT THAT HARD). She's upset but understands and kisses him on the cheek.

In Angel Grove, everybody is OMGSOHOT. In the temperature sense, that is. They call the zords right away and fight the monster. They seem to defeat him, as he claims he's wilting, except he's not REALLY beaten. He's just pretending.

Tommy is still really upset about being dumped, DUH, and Kat knows how to cheer him up. Ernie is closing early to do inventory, so she manages to set up a romantic dinner in his closed Youth Center. She gets everything set up and even dresses up herself. Tommy comes in, confused but dressed in a tux as asked, and is amazed at what she's done for him. Even more amazing, she's called Heather to come down for the dinner.

OMG GUYS, JUST STOP IT. Seriously, these are the WORST FRIENDS EVER. Do NOT push him to date so soon! He's NOT READY. Give him time to move on in a healthy manner. Yeesh.

Anyway, Tommy has to leave early because Kat and Tanya are under attack and can't fight off the monster on their own. Instead of Adam and Rocky helping and waiting to grab Tommy until he was absolutely necessary, they pull him away. Heather is understandably angry. She drove for a really long time to get to that date and he's just abandoning her again with nary an explanation. I'd have left, too.

So they go have a boring fight and beat the monster. For real this time.

Kat and Tommy sit at the fancy dinner and she apologizes for it not working. He thanks her for setting it all up and she says she just wants him to have somebody to make him happy again. NO, KAT, JUST NO. REBOUNDS ARE A BAD IDEA. So her favourite song comes on and Tommy asks her to dance. Queue the beginning of the Tommy/Kat romance.

5 fish. Just... ugh. At least it's over?

Episode 171 - There's No Business Like Snow Business - Part 2

Previously, on As The Rangers Turn, Kimberly has left Tommy in a letter, possibly for another woman. Adam, Rocky and Tanya are off negotiating their own relationship drama, while Billy and Kat attempt to be the Worst Friends Ever and the people of Angel Grove are falling in love with Cyclons. Confused? You won't be after this episode of Power Rangers Zeo!

So, Professional Snowboard Who Is Really Bad At It is dangling precariously off the cliff. Tommy, Kat and Billy all stand around wondering what they should do, while the answer is obviously have Kat morph and grab her, since Heather didn't see Kat. While they stand around doing nothing, the other three Rangers call and are all "Hey, everyone is falling in love with toasters and blenders, get back here already" but they can't leave Heather, so Adam, Rocky and Tanya go fight on their own. A bunch of other people show up on the mountain top, even though this is supposed to be the hardest course, and they just give Tommy their jackets, so that he can then dangle precariously off the edge of the mountain so that Heather can grab hold. Why he just doesn't add his scarf or that thing on his head to the chain of jackets, I don't know. But they manage to bring Heather up safely, and then Tommy and Kat claim they have to go be somewhere, and they just teleport off.

WORST EXCUSES EVER. They are on top of a mountain, where are they supposed to be???

Anyway, the Rangers summon the defender wheel, and then they summon the Zords and they destroy Robo Cupid. So instead, Mondo decides he will unleash the power of Global Warming, by which we mean he's going to make Angel Grove really hot.

This episode is really boring, I almost want there to be more Tommy angsting over Kim.

Instead, Billy and Kat decide to be the Wost Friends Ever and start trying to set Tommy up with Heather, even though he is clearly not ready. (He just got dumped yesterday) and also, rebound relationships where one person is just trying to use the other to get over someone is REALLY SHITTY.

Back in Angel Grove, Adam and Rocky spar, and it is really pretty. *shallow* Why do we not see them spar more often? Then everyone complains that it's really hot, and yet Adam is wearing a sweatshirt. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Anyway, Billy and Kat claim they have stuff to do and Tommy goes off with Heather. She takes him to a very picturesque part of the mountain, and they talk, and then Heather is all "So hey, your friends told me about Kimberly. Want to make out now?" Tommy, to his credit, is clearly not having it.

Also, we're assuming that the Billy and Kat constantly going off together is where that particular ship came from? We don't really get it.

So, Zordon calls and insists the Rangers come back to the Power Chamber immediately, because... we don't know? So Billy and Kat interrupt Heather and Tommy (who are about to go see a snowboarding movie, because heaven forbid Heather have any interests outside of snowboarding or Tommy) with a "Hey, we've got to go do an activity. Ready?" So Tommy stands Heather up, and she sulks. The end.

This episode was so boring. SO BORING.

Fish: 4. It would probably be 5, except Tommy's angst was actually pretty realistic, so we'll knock off a fish.

Episode 52 - Two Heads are Better Than One

This episode sucked AND it pissed me off.




... Apparently I still have to do a recap. Fine. Tommy and Jason are teaching a women's self defense class. Good for them, although I would have liked Trini to have been the one teaching it. But then we get to their advice. Which apparently boils down to yell really loudly and always use the buddy system. Because, you know, if you walk by yourself you'll be raped and it will totally be your fault and WHAT THE HELL SHOW. Rage blackout number 1. (There was a lot more cursing and a lot more all caps in the first draft of this post.)

Also, apparently they're just teaching the moms of Angel Grove. Because if you're not in high school you must be a mother and it isn't like there are any single women. Or maybe they should just stay at home by themselves.

Anyway, class ends, and the Rangers all go to try Ernie's new drink. I guess all the money from the reward paid off. Bulk and Skull show up, wanting to join the class that Jason and Tommy are teaching. The boys point out that the class is over, and then Trini reminds them that it is a women's self defense class. Bulk and Skull say that they just want to meet babes, like Kimberly, and then Skull sniffs her hair, and in context it is so incredibly inappropriate that I have rage blackout number 2.

Apparently this episode is supposed to be about teamwork or something, because Rita creates a monster that has two heads, since that's better than one. They repeat that a lot. Tommy and Jason get attacked in the park and they morph. Jason wants to fight, but Tommy wants to retreat. I guess this is also the Tommy and Jason need to learn how to get along episode. Which already happened once.

So, they go with Tommy's plan and teleport to the Command Center instead of just calling for help. Apparently the way to defeat the ridiculous bird thing is to feed it a pamango fruit. Hey, guess what type of drinks Ernie was serving earlier! Gee, I wonder if this will be relevant. Tommy goes to the park to go climb a tree and find a fruit, but he gets attacked by putties and they steal the pamango. I guess that there was only one tree and that tree only had one fruit. Right. Whatever. But seriously, if it's native to Angel Grove, couldn't they have gone to a grocery store?

Instead, Tommy goes to Ernie and feeds him a bullshit story about how he bought Kim a parrot and the parrot needs a pamango. Ernie humors him and gives him the fruit (I am firmly convinced that he assumes it was for Ranger related reasons and was amazed at the sheer stupidity of Tommy's lie) and Tommy goes off to join the other Rangers, who have been fighting the monster. Apparently Jason is failing at teamwork because he didn't wait for Tommy? Because this monster is too smart for them? I fail to see how waiting for Tommy will improve their chances. Anyway, Tommy shows up with the fruit and the monster fights over the fruit. It reminds us of gooney bird eggs. Rita makes the monster grow, and they summon Titanus and defeat it. (Side note - it seems that Tommy is way more powerful than the rest of them, but isn't he operating on limited power?)

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie asks Kim about her parrot, but apparently Tommy never bothered to tell her about the lie, so she's totally confused. Bulk and Skull interrupt the women's self defense class, and it is time for rage blackout number 3. Jason and Tommy allow Bulk and Skull to be the attackers in the self defense class, and the moms beat them up. Which I actually have a problem with, because you need to learn how to take a fall, and they could have been actually hurt, and basically everything about this episode upset me.

I fail to see how the last line of "two moms are better than one" is relevant anyway. Or why this episode was about teamwork. It is now stricken from my personal canon.


Fish. FIVE FISH. Between the rage inducing and the fact that the plot made no sense there's nothing else we could give it.

Billy speak: "It's a mixture of ananas comosus, cydia fruit, and carica fruit" (seriously? Google tells us it is actually Cydia FRUIT MOTHS. I'm really grossed out now.) (We're hoping that he actually said SANDIA fruit, which is watermelon. But it sure didn't sound that way.)
"By doubling it's cranial capacity, Rita has created a..."
"Perhaps we could distract it with it's favourite food. Parrots do like fruit."

Quotable Quotes: Polly want a megazord?