Episode 325 - Protect the Quasar Saber

Well that last episode was fucking hard. So we start out with a Little Person finding Kendrix's Quasar Saber. He's very excited. Kendrix comes to Maya in a (conveniently psychic) dream and warns her that her saber needs protecting, and then comforts Maya by telling her she's in a good place and she's happy and it's okay. It's... sad. And hard to watch. Trakeena wants the saber so she goes after the Little Person. Monsters stand outside him home and Kai and Damon show up. They make a bird call and somehow both monsters felt the need to go investigate. Leo and Maya break into the home and demand the Quasar Saber. They even threaten the guy. He pulls a Han Solo and has a gun hiding under the table though and shoots them. Kai and Damon get the truth, though, and the Little Person goes back inside. But then he turns into Deviot so they're on the wrong path. The real Little Person who found it is bound and gagged in another part of the house. He tells Deviot where he hid the Quasar Saber and they go looking for it. Luckily all this was overheard by a mysterious figure in the bushes. Back at our favourite tavern, there is a weapons auction going on. The Quasar Saber is up for auction and, of course, everybody wants it. Really though, who brings something like that out in an auction surrounded by crooks and thieves! That was probably a bad idea. But that's okay because Astronema is there! And she is bidding on the saber. She wants it. She placed a bid but then she backs out and says "How about I just take it and everybody gets to live? Good plan?" and they're all "For Astronema? Excellent plan. Yes, we like this plan." and just hand over the saber. Trakeena is there too, though, and she totally knows what's up. She points out that Astronema went good and this is really Karone, lying. She's pretty great. Heck, they both are. I can't decide if I want an epic Karone vs Trakeena fight or them to just be bffs and hang out all the time. Either way, it'd be awesome. The trap is set and Karone knows. She needs to warn the rangers. Somehow the Little Person's fire is still burning? Or at least still smoking. Makes no sense, as he found the saber what is probably a day or two ago. Whatever. They fell for the trap and Deviot is ready to destroy them all when Karone comes in with her super tight leather gear and saves the day. Because she's cool like that. And she brought them the saber. We highly approve of the leather. It looks good and is sensible for battle, as opposed to being like a bikini with bangles or something. She is awesome. She fights Trakeena with the rangers, unmorphed and without powers because she is not a ranger, and she is AMAZING. Like, this is seriously BADASS AND I WANT MORE OF IT. She is just a human, just a regular person, and she takes on Trakeena. ON HER OWN. And holds her own. Because clearly she is the best. She does get tossed off a cliff at the end, but you know what? That was a really long fight for a normal person to hold against the biggest bad in all the galaxies. She is falling while the others fight and Trakeena walks away with Kendrix's Quasar Saber, but she is caught in mid-air by a spirit Kendrix. Spirit!Kendrix gives Karone her morpher, tells her she will be the pink ranger, and takes her to safety with a promise to be there if Karone needs her. And I start to get all teary eyed again. Trakeena is about to destroy Leo when Karone stops her and takes the saber back. She morphs and everybody is shocked and she beats up all the bad guys and wins all the things. They are all really happy to have her and she's just in shock that she gets to be a Power Ranger. Back on Terra Venture, the monster is destroying things. Damon has to teach Karone how to call the galactabeasts and it's all kinds of adorable. She leads them into victory using all the toys. Battle over, Maya shows her around the place. She gets a bunk for her in the girls room. Karone sees a picture of Kendrix and says she may not be as good as Kendrix, but she'll do the best she can. Maya assures her that they're happy to have her and she'll be great and it's what Kendrix would have wanted and damn there are those onion-cutting ninjas again. Kai has made her a feast and it's just. It's just. OH SHOW! 1.5 fish. It was just. Just. I. Yeah.

Episode 293- Countdown to Destruction Part 2

Today on Power Rangers, things are BLEAK. And then they are totally awesome.

So everybody has been captured and people are being led away and others are just kind of gathering together. Astronema comes down and informs them the rest of the universe has surrendered. She now rules EVERYTHING. She is seriously the BEST EVER at everything. The rangers aren't coming, they failed, and the rangers are hiding among them. She wants them by the following morning. Her ultimatum? It's the rangers or the whole planet is destroyed.

People actually argue this. Nobody knows who they are, but nobody knows why they aren't helping either. Then Bulk is AMAZING. He stands up and gives everybody hope... because the rangers have never let them down before. They'll be there. Bulk, how are you so awesome?

The rangers have gathered around a small file. They don't know what to do when Zhane comes stumbling up. He just barely escaped and he confirms the rest of the universe really did cave. They need a plan. Andros wants to go talk to Karone. The others try to talk him out of it, so he tries to sneak away instead. It's the only way to save everybody, even if it means losing himself and his own life. Ashley catches him, but decides to let him go. There is a tearful goodbye.

The following morning, Astronema accuses the rangers of sacrificing the whole planet because they didn't show up. She asks for the rangers one last time, but nobody will give them up. She's about to destroy everything when BULK STEPS UP AND SAYS HE'S THE BLUE RANGER! AND THEN SKULL IS THE BLACK RANGER! AND WE GET A PINK RANGER AND A SILVER RANGER AND YELLOW RANGER AND RED RANGER AND THEN EVERYBODY IS A RANGER AND OMG IT IS SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE THIS EPISODE! Citizens of Angel Grove, you win everything. Astronema is going to destroy them all, but the rangers stop her. Carlos, Cassie, Zhane, Ashley, and TJ stand on a wall, out themselves, and then morph in front of everyone. They will go down fighting before they let the Earth be destroyed. OH SHOW.

Bulk and Skull lead the charge of average humans into the fight, because they won't give up. It is the stuff of legend. Seriously.

Andros screws up some stuff on Astronema's ship in order to lock Ecliptor in a room and then goes to look for her, not knowing she's not there. He finds Zordon and they have a heart to heart. Evil has taken over everywhere. There is no way to stop it. Unless Andros shatters Zordon's tube, killing him in the process, but sending a wave of goodness across the universe and destroying all evil. Andros starts to, but can't bring himself to do it. It's a big sacrifice.

Astronema shows back up on her ship and confronts Andros. There is an epic fight. She is determined to kill him and he's determined to save his sister. She won't listen, though, or doesn't want to. The fight is seriously amazing. Andros has to deflect a blast back to her or die instead. She falls to the ground, unconscious, and he fears he's killed her. Ecliptor is PISSED. That's his little girl. Daddy won't stand by and let his little girl get hurt, so his anger fuels the fight. Ecliptor, you're such a good Daddy.

Zordon finally convinces Andros to destroy the tube. It's the only way. Zordon pulls the duty card and Andros finally does it. He shatters the tube. Zordon dies as a wave of goodness sweeps across the entire universe. The evil, including Ecliptor, turn to dust. Those with goodness in them turn human, including Rita and Zedd. Zedd asks Rita to dance, because they are still in love. Divatox turns human, back into Dimitria's sister. Unfortunately, the rangers powers leave them. They won the fight, Earth is saved, but the powers are gone.

They are sure Andros died up there, until Astronema's ship comes down to Earth. They think she's won, that they really did lose after all, until Andros comes walking out of the hatch. He's carrying his sister. Ashley is happy but dude, this is NOT the time for a joyous reunion. He killed Zordon. He thinks his sister is dead and he did it. ALL THE FEELINGS, SHOW!

He puts her down. He cries the fakest tears of magical healing ever and she wakes up as Karone, healed and happy and healthy and not the slightest bit evil. They won! They really won. Mind, Zordon is still dead, and it's really him that won it for everyone. But wow. Just... wow!

They head to KO-35 to help clean up a bit, restock the ship, take some supplies back to Earth. They are invited to stay, but they're homesick. They just want to be back on Earth. Andros decides to stay, however. It IS his home, after all, and it's not fair to ask him to give that up right after he gets it back (Ashley, I'm looking at you Little Ms. Guilt Trip).

He falls for it, though, and he and Zhane board the ship at the last minute to go to Earth with them. Earth is going to be a little crazy with the celebrity hero worship thing, guys. You might have should have stayed on KO-35 for awhile.

Guys, THIS is how you do a finale. BEST FINALE EVER. No series has managed to live up to it since.

1 fish. BEST EPISODE EVER IN EXISTENCE.

Episode 289 - Ghosts in the Machine

We're BACK. I've missed recapping so much, you all have no idea.

So apparently all the missing people from the last episode (remember that one?) are on a cruise ship? I thought they were in an alternate dimension? Maybe I've just forgotten things from last time. Anyway, the cruise ship is completely abandoned. Except apparently people were on the cruise ship and eating some fairly nice food? I have no idea, seriously, show. Why were the prisoners being held on a nice cruise ship? Why have they all left now? If Astronema wants to take me prisoner and put me on a cruise, I would be totally in favor of that. Free cruise!

Back on the ship, Carlos is still stressed about Silvy, and he and Andros continue searching.

Except now the prisoners aren't on a cruise ship, they're in an underwater city, and Astronema of Borg and her minions are turning Bulk, Skull and the Professor into datacards? I seem to remember this making more sense.

Were they on the cruise ship at all? Why does Astronema want them to be datacards anyway? How is she going to use them? Was the city on the ship? Why does Carlos only care about Silvy? Like, half of Angel Grove is missing.

Andros's big plan once they somehow figure out that the city is under the sea is that they'll tunnel under the city? What. I don't know.

The ghosts of the Psychos follow them around and they're very sulky about it. The Rangers make a big deal about not being detected, and then they pretty instantly get discovered. But there's a fairly decent fight scene, so I'm cool with that.

Astronema claims that their getting into the city was part of her plan all along. Which... I might buy, because Cassie instantly pushes Andros out of the way of the machine thing and she's slowly and apparently painfully turned into a datacard. She gives a last minute plea to Astronema about how they're friends, but Astronema is all "nope, I have none" and Andros is unable to destroy the datalaser because it will destroy Cassie as well. The other Rangers are all dataformed a lot faster.

The psychos take advantage of the machine to somehow turn themselves back into physical form. I guess they're also data? The fish are really strong with this one. I guess it's because they're under the sea and all.

The Psychos steal the datacards back, and then they fight Ecliptor and blast him repeatedly. Because the Psychos want their own revenge they turn the Rangers back into physical form. Really, Emily Thorne is way better at this revenge thing then they are. There's some more fighting over who gets to destroy the Rangers, and then some more fighting. The Rangers appear to be doing better at fighting the Psychos.

Even though Zhane wasn't with them when they went to the city, he shows up anyway to fight Ecliptor? He finds all the datacards (still not sure what Astronema wanted them for anyway) and then turns people back to normal. (There are far less people then there were cards, for the record).

The Rangers lure all the Psychos to the control room and turn them into datacards. Due to stuff blowing up, the Rangers have to teleport out without the Psychos datacards. This is the end of them. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

They briefly try to convince us that Zhane is hurt, but nobody is buying that. It wasn't even a convincing fake out. And then we find out that of COURSE Astronema still has the datacards.

There was not enough of awesome future ranger Silvy in this episode :(

Fish: FIVE. SO MANY FISH.

Questions: Why did it take so long to transform Cassie compared to everyone else? Seriously, why did Astronema want datacards anwyay? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE?

Episode 290- The Impenetrable Web

Today on Power Rangers, we should have a whole season about Alpha being super awesome. Just saying.

So we start off with Alpha playing three dimensional chess against DECA. Alpha totally wins, but it's super adorable and I now ship Alpha/DECA. Alpha/Ship? YES PLEASE. They intercept a distress signal and immediately rush off to go help.

It's a trap! Because Astronema is there and she has created a web to ensnare the rangers. It's all green and web-like. They are down on the planet when the Megaship gets caught so they somehow lose all their powers? I don't get it, but whatever. Alpha tries to shoot his way out, but it doesn't work. Astronema sends Darkonda down to get the rangers and Ecliptor over to take control of the Megaship. He overpowers Alpha easily, but not before Alpha manages to enable some security measures.

Alpha escapes and hides, with the help of DECA. Because they are AI IN LOVE. It's so cute. I love them so!

Darkonda is boring and gives a bunch of orders and looks for the rangers. There is fighting and it's not at all amusing or interesting. Let's ignore him and get back to Ecliptor, shall we? I really like him. He tries to order DECA around and she's having none of it. Alpha pulls a Home Alone and drops balls on the floor. It's great. Ecliptor is going to reprogram the ship, but Alpha opens the doors to suck him out into space instead. Because clearly Alpha is a genius. It doesn't work, but it was a totally good idea!

Ecliptor heads off to destroy the MegaVoyager instead. Meanwhile, Darkonda has the rangers captured. Cocky Badass Zhane comes to the rescue AGAIN and he is somehow magically not affected by this electronic net because he's still morphed and has all his toys. The fish must REALLY like him. Whatever. He's boring, too. I want more Alpha and DECA versus Ecliptor!

Zhane takes his shiny toys and goes to the MegaVoyager to stop Ecliptor from destroying it. Ecliptor is now red? I don't get it, but okay. There is a boring fight where Zhane momentarily gets his ass handed to him. Andros pulls out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit and goes to break through the web so everybody can morph. He somehow manages it? I don't get it. The fish must have finally broken the net for him. Everybody morphs and pull out all the toys and go fight Red Ecliptor with Zhane. This is boring. This episode should have more Alpha and DECA being badass. Ecliptor apparently uses all his extra power and instead of using the MegaZords to step on him and squish him while he's weak, the rangers go and fight hand to hand instead (and somehow manage to turn him green/black again). I did say this fight made no sense, right?

Ecliptor managed to screw up a lot of shit, though. They've lost most of the toys at this point. Astronema is really happy about this and she totally has a plan.

4.5 fish because seriously, ALLLLLL the fighting (that made no sense). The only thing saving this from a full 5 is how amazingly wonderful Alpha and DECA are.

Episode 286- The Enemy Within

So today, Dark Specter is running out of time. Astronema's plan is working BEAUTIFULLY. She is so awesome.

The Rangers are still trying to find the MegaVoyager. They aren't having much luck. Meanwhile, the Psychos are starting to rebel against Astronema. They want to destroy the rangers and she won't let them yet. The Rangers think they found something and Zhane convinces them it's a trap and he should go in alone. He's such a cocky badass. He's right though. It's totally a trap. Luckily the others listened to him and are sneaking in the back.

The Psychos are kind of dumb, for a change, and don't bother to COUNT the rangers. One ranger controlling one zord. The other five are sneaking in and getting their zords back. Mind, Zhane might be cocky, but he's not that brilliant either because he didn't count the Psychos. Yellow isn't fighting. She's waiting by the zords. Because she booby trapped them and now they won't work for the rangers. DUH. They manage to get them back and combine ("and the penis goes through the hole") only to have Psycho Yellow take control of the zords.

Zhane is caught in his zord and tied up. Again. Yay for more bondage! The rangers are about to get their asses handed to them when Ecliptor pulls Psycho Red back. They have an epic battle (is it possible for Ecliptor to have a battle that isn't epic? I don't think it is). Ecliptor hands him his ass instead, before he runs away and goes back to the ranger battle. He pulls Andros out and they fight. On a tranquil countryside by a small lake with some waterfalls. It's really quite pretty. The fight is kind of boring though. Andros wins, just barely, with the help of Alpha and the Megaship. They break the hold of the virus and Psycho Yellow loses control, letting the rangers have their zords back.

Psycho Red tries to beat them, but Psycho Black stops him. There is infighting. Psycho Red ruins the whole plan. They set Zhane free, unfortunately. He's much better when he's tied up. There is something about energy and absorbing and turning it back on the Psychos and then they destroy the other three psychos and... what the fuck? This is freaking RIDICULOUS. Like, I have no clue what's going on. TSB and I remember this story arch being MUCH better than this.

Astronema nearly had Dark Specter destroyed. She's on her own side, though, and she's still determined to take out everybody and rule everything. Andros, meanwhile, is going to bed when he sees a shadow. Psycho Red is on the ship... except it's not Psycho Red. It's Zhane. In a suit. Who got the shit beaten out of him by Andros for scaring him. Oh Zhane. Not funny.

5 fish. This was just... bad.

Episode 285 - Silence is Golden

The episode begins with Andros and TJ crossing the Blue Psycho off the big board. I love big boards! They're so much fun. Andros is worried that this is the calm before the storm or something. Back on Earth, Cassie is shopping. This just makes me really want to write the fic where Kim takes all the Pink Rangers shopping. Poor Cassie has allergies, which is sad. :(

Meanwhile, the Psychos are memorizing the Rangers' voices. Astronema tells them not to kill the Rangers, but to capture them instead, no matter how much energy it takes. Ecliptor tells her that its risky, but she's sure that her awesomeness will carry through. I approve!

Seriously, if Astronema would just carry out her own plans instead of delegating, she'd have conquered Earth already.

The Psychos go down to Earth and turn into humans and they start scanning around Angel Grove, listening for the Rangers' voices. Psycho Red is pretty hot. WE ARE SO OLD. This is the days before cell phones, so Ashley is using a pay phone. She's talking about getting a gift for her dad. Psycho Yellow immediately goes after Ashley, but instead gets the woman in the phone booth after her. I am really not sure how they got there after Ashley had left the booth. They seemed to be moving fairly quickly. Ashley hears the woman scream, and then overhears the Psychos explain about the voices. Ashley heads back to the Megaship, leaving Cassie behind, and they have to figure out how to contact Cassie.

If they could text, this would not be an issue. Instead, we get a pager. Awww, pagers. I seriously feel so old. SO OLD.

Apparently Cassie can't talk, can't use her communicator, and can't morph. Okay, so now I have questions. How do they usually get back to the ship? I'm guessing it's not teleporters. Do they morph and take the Galaxy Gliders? RIDICULOUS. Why can't she go morph in a corner and instantly get out of there? THEY CAN USUALLY DO THAT.

So Cassie is put into situations where she has to talk. She avoids thanking a guy for getting her bags when she forgets them, and she gives a cranky old guy a flower when he demands an apology for her bumping into him. But then she sees a baby carriage nearly get knocked down some stairs so she screams. The baby is saved, but the Psychos are being creepy and corner Cassie.

Then a poorly disguised Zhane clown shows up. What the fuck. He rounds the corner and then suddenly the Psychos hear Cassie's voice and they chase after it. Cassie runs into the rest of the Rangers, and they morph and fight the Psychos and SERIOUSLY, I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION. I'm guessing recordings of Cassie's voice taped from somewhere?

The three psychos turn into even more monstrous forms, because apparently this ridiculousness is what they actually look like, and THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THE WORLD. Then the Psychos grow and I am not giving a shit at this point. The three Psychos are beating up the Megazord so Zhane shows up with another toy.

They thought they'd destroyed the Psychos, but apparently not. Instead, the Psychos try to drag them into a vortex or something. The Rangers are all "We need to abandon ship!" but Andros is pulling a Tommy and is all "WE DO NOT ABANDON OUR ZORDS." Luckily, Adam has clearly warned Carlos about this, because Carlos hits Andros and makes him leave. They escape just as the MegaVoyager gets dragged... somewhere.

Dark Spectre whines to Astronema about his missing powers, and she promises that she's looking into it. Also, Astronema of Borg has hidden the Megazord somewhere, and she starts to tell the Psychos her grand plan.

Fish: FIVE. SPACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Episode 284 - Five of a Kind

So we open with Dark Spectre being all "Astronema, go be HBIC and attack Earth." That is totally the best way to start an episode.

The Rangers break out the awesome chess set again, and take off the Psycho Pink. Then TJ is all "WAIT. I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT." He realizes that if they keep fighting same colors, they are screwed. Just mix up the colors! Because TJ is brilliant and proving how he is an awesome blue, and doing the strategy thing. GO TJ. This is why he was such an awesome Red Ranger.

So an alarm goes off and they head to fight the Psycho Rangers, with their plan to switch colors on them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the Psychos from still going after their counterparts, and soon the battle goes back to color vs color. Then Zhane shows up, late as always. Is this a sixth ranger thing or something?

Psycho Blue scores a lucky hit on TJ, who goes down hard, and it's only Zhane showing up at the last minute that prevents him from getting his head chopped off.

Luckily for TJ, Dark Spectre is all "SOMEONE IS DRAINING MY POWERS NOW" so Astronema has to pull the Psychos back.

TJ wakes up in the med lab, and damn, nice arms. TJ is very sad that his plan didn't work, but everyone is like "YOU STAY IN THE MED LAB. YOU ARE HURT." Also, Cassie looks very worried about him, hovering over his bed, and I ship them so hard.

The Psychos are arguing about why they got pulled back, and they're planning on going after the Rangers with or without Astronema. She is so pleased by this.

CASSIE BRINGS TJ BREAKFAST IN BED AND THERE IS A FLOWER. SHIP THEM SHIP THEM SHIP THEM. ALL THE HURT/COMFORT. ALL OF IT.

Except TJ isn't in bed, he's busy watching the battle to figure out new strategies. Except on the recording, the color suddenly goes out, and TJ comes up with ANOTHER new plan, because he is brilliant. He spraypaints all the pieces on the chess board blue, so they won't know their true colors.

OH MY GOD HE HAS NICE ARMS. Those jackets hide them. BUT DAMN, NICE ARMS.

So all the Rangers go down disguised as blue rangers, and I wonder how they managed to make all their costumes blue. And it's not like they disguise the voices. And with color theory and all, I wonder if the others are uncomfortable wearing blue. And like, how did the girls ditch the skirts? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Yellow Psycho is like "whatever, I'm not even trying. I'll wait until they're done."

Then Silver Psycho appears or something, and he attacks the Rangers, and the Psychos are SO ANNOYED with that. So they attack Psycho Silver, and then Psycho Blue blasts Psychos Red and Black in the back.

Psycho Silver is revealed as Zhane, and the five blue rangers all assemble and Zhane and TJ blast Psycho Blue. Why is Zhane getting to be all awesome? This is TJ's moment of glory! So Psycho Blue gets to grow and the toys show up to battle. And then it's snowing or something? Are they still in California? Why so cold?

(SERIOUSLY, WHY SO COLD. I hate cold.) (QR is mocking me, she loves the cold. She's also wrong.)

Apparently Psycho Blue is trying to freeze them, so they just turn up the heat and the ice melts off the zord, and could I get that system, because SO COLD. I am going to freeze when I go home to NY for two weeks.

So they destroy blue and call Zhane a Psycho and Astronema is like "pfft, one is enough to destroy the Rangers." Astronema threatens the Psychos and is all "Here is the plan" and they are so terrified of her. So great.

The Rangers are all prepping for battle and doing something technical. Whatever it is, it should be awesome.

Andros is busy having a sad about Karone. Look, she's all Of Borg at the moment. And he's being emo. If QR was doing this recap, she'd be a lot more sympathetic. But I am not.

Fish: 2! TJ has a plan! He is great!

Fic we want: TJ is so badass. TJ/Cassie! Lasting effects of wearing the wrong color!

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 281 - Rangers Gone Psycho

Today on Power Rangers,

So we start off with a battle. There is screaming. And a weird owl monster thing. It's... not pretty. Nor is it exciting. Nor does it bode well for this episode. They win, of course.

Back on the ship, Andros has a sad. He can't stop staring at his locket. Because he misses his sister. Again. He flash backs to talking to her about missing her, and getting to know her, and how they have all the time in the world. Except they don't because she's evil again. Poor Andros. Ashley manages to talk him into taking a break back on Earth. Adelle gives them heaps of food, but Carlos is awesome and remembers to say "thank you".

They overhear a girl playing with her little electronic organizer. It sounds just like the communicators and all I could think was how super awesome it was at the time, and how super clunky and huge it looks compared to today's tech. Then they get distracted by a news report. There was an attack at a building and the news reporter sees the rangers, and asks them what happened. Except it's not the rangers! They attack the reporter.

The real rangers end up on the scene and there is an epic battle of ranger vs ranger. This is super awesome! The Psycho Rangers are GOOD. It is one amazing battle. They end up wearing really cool armour before introducing themselves. Faster, stronger, BETTER. And EVIL. It's super intense.

Zhane does not have a psycho ranger equivalent, though, and rushes in just in time to save them. The Psycho Rangers vanish, but not before taking some energy from the real rangers. Astronema is sure this is the only way to beat the real rangers. This is actually a really good plan of hers.

The real rangers can't figure out what's going on. They don't know who the psycho rangers are, where they came from, how to find them. They don't know how to beat them. And it's really clearly bothering them.

The Psycho Rangers are taken in by the sound of the little address storage device. They keep attacking humans to no avail. The real rangers can't figure out why random people are being attacked. Luckily Zhane is still on Earth. Or not so luckily, because the Psycho Rangers find him and capture him. Oh Zhane, you're so pretty when you're tied up.

They've taken him to the old library (apparently there is a new one?) and it's a total disaster. Seriously. Wouldn't they have moved all that stuff to the new library? Anyway, Zhane is still tied up and is very pretty. The real rangers can't get through a force field, though, and aren't allowed to morph. So Andros comes up with a plan, because he has to get his boyfriend back. He uses a remote controlled car to distract them and they fall for it (running like I don't even know what... who the heck pulls their knees up to their chest while running?). The rangers get in and rush to Zhane. Who is delightfully tied up! There should be more Zhane and bondage in this show.

There is a big battle between the rangers and the psycho rangers, because of course they knew the rangers were there. They're evil, not stupid! Though I can see how it would be easy to make that mistake in this show...

The battle is once again epic but the psycho's get called back before they can completely destroy the rangers. But not before there is MAJOR damage to the rangers. Zhane escapes just in time to SEE THEM FALL. Like, hardcore fall. So he rushes to Andros (boyfriends!) and helps them back to the ship.

Astronema has the BEST PLAN EVER. She is going to use the psycho rangers to drain the power from Dark Spectre while they simultaneously destroy the power rangers. This will leave her free to be in charge of everything. SHE IS FREAKING BRILLIANT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING.

Episode 280 - Dark Specter's Revenge - Part 2

WE LIVE. I handed in my thesis, so now we will have the time of GREAT PANIC while I wait on results.

So we continue with the Megazords trying to push an asteroid out of the way while people on Earth panic. Just as it's entering Earth's atmosphere Zhane shows up with another Zord and somehow that is enough to get it out of the atmosphere without the asteroid breaking up at all (wtf is this thing made of, anyway?) and they push it back into space and whatever, I am not going to argue with the science, but I wonder what the Bad Astronomer would have to say about that.

Zhane gets all the hugs, and he tells them that the rebels built the ship. The Rangers fill Zhane in on the whole Astronema = Karone thing, and Zhane is all "I knew there was something good about her!" and offers to go with Andros to find her, saying he has an interest in Karone as well. You can clearly see the "oh shit, I've got a thing for my boyfriend's sister" on Zhane's face, and also Andros is concerned when Zhane says he has an interest.

Zhane and Andros follow a solitary tie fighter to a space station, and Andros and Zhane continue the "you went on a date with my sister!" "JUST ONE DATE?" thing and AHAHAH awesome, but boys, this is SO NOT THE TIME to figure out your poly relationships.

So the boys steal some Quantrons uniforms, and they're a little short to be storm troopers, and really, show, you're making this too easy.

They find Astronema and take off the helmet, only to find that she's been all Borgified, and she calls Ecliptor to attack them. There's a pretty great fight, and there's no way they're going to win and escape with Astronema, so they end up retreating, leaving her in her brainwashed and Borgified state.

This is pretty epic, seriously.

They end up stealing some velocifighters to escape, and they make it back to the Megaship, and Andros has the biggest sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull and the Professor had some hijinks where they thought they made it to another planet, but nope, still on Earth. Oh, and then they get attacked by a monster. Luckily, there are Power Rangers to the rescue. Including Zhane in his new toy.

Hey, points for a very bondagey fight.

And then the Rangers give Bulk, Skull, and the Professor a ride on their galaxy gliders. ADORABLE.

Meanwhile, the Borg Princess kicks Darkonda out. And Andros, and Zhane are trying to figure out how to fix Astronema. DUN DUN DUN.

Fish: 2! The science is a little screwy, but EPIC IS EPIC.

Episode 279 - Dark Spectre's Revenge Part 1

Welcome back, dear readers! We've missed you and this blog!

Today on Power Rangers, Astronema is being a Good Girl and Andros is showing her around the ship. Andros shows her the replicator synthetron. He pulls out a plate of the weirdest combination of food and she is totally not hungry.

Which is good because she gets called to the bridge (they call her Karone!), and the others are all standing there looking stern, then they pull a Scrooge and make her an honorary Power Ranger. DAW!

Meanwhile, Ecliptor is having a Terrible Horribly No Good Very Bad Day, what with being assaulted and strapped down to a torture bench (bondage pron!). Darkonda is freaking TERRIFYING. I would not want to be kidnapped by that guy. He reports to Dark Spectre and is totally ready to go get Astronema back from the rangers.

Back on the MegaShip, Karone has rid herself of the awesome coloured hair and is now just regular, blonde, shy Karone in her Ranger jumpsuit. She's cute, but I miss the hair.

And we're back on Earth with Bulk and Skull! They're roasting marshmallows! I LOVE THEM SO! The Professor is stargazing and sees an asteroid and Bulk and Skull assume excitement. Except this is a huge asteroid and it's going to destroy the entire Earth. I think I've seen this movie a few times.

The MegaShip ends up on a collision course with the asteroid. Everyone lurches to the right on cue. Dark Spectre is totally driving that asteroid and demands Astronema be returned. Andros says the first intelligent thing in a long time and says Karone doesn't belong to anybody. DAMN STRAIGHT! They decide to go blow up the super big asteroid. Tiny lasers don't do much damage to it (OMG ACTUAL SCIENCE IN THIS SHOW?!?!?!?! BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!). Darn, where's Bruce Willis (I'd be happy with Morgan Freeman as President as well) when you need him?

TJ is given the explosives to destroy the asteroid while Andros holds back the Quantrons. In this Mega Asteroid Movie, however, nobody is going to die. Because it's Power Rangers Meet the Mega Asteroid. Which is awesome.

And we get MORE actual science, because the explosives do jack shit! The asteroid is still heading to Earth and it's barely damaged and it's HUGE. The rangers scramble to find a solution, when Karone is SUPER AWESOME and finds the only answer. She has to go back to Dark Spectre. It's the only way to stop the asteroid. And she's totally willing to do it because SHE IS THE BEST EVER.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull attempt to sneak into Nasada with the Professor. They need to go tell them about the GIANT FREAKING ASTEROID headed for Earth. Because apparently the super powerful telescopes didn't pick it up, but the amateur telescope did. Whatever, it's a Mega Asteroid movie, so I don't care how implausible that is. But they are warning people! Because they are awesome! And want to help! Good job, guys.

Karone has made it back to Darkonda's ship and is ready to destroy the asteroid. Except she's confronted by Ecliptor who has been altered. He's not totally evil and is going to hurt her! But he can't! He's her fake!Daddy! Oh Ecliptor, honey. He overpowers her and she loses communication with the rangers. All the cries.

Andros doesn't even time to mourn because Nasada is asking for help dealing with the asteroid. They've already tried that, dude! But they're going to try again. Because they're Power Rangers.

Nasada makes a statement to "Angel Grove and the world", further proving Angel Grove is it's own country. He brings up the asteroid crash of 65 million years ago (OMG MORE SCIENCE FOR THE WIN! I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ACCURACY THIS SHOW IS GIVING ME NOW) and how we're looking at more world wide destruction on that scale. The Professor tells everybody to panic, which is horrible advice. Stand up and take your impending demise in stride, people. It will be so much better for you all.

Except the rangers on the case and they use EVEN MORE GOOD SCIENCE by using the MegaZords to push it off course, because THAT is the real life only solution to averting destruction by an asteroid! It doesn't even take much! OH MY GOD THIS SHOW! COULD IT BE ANY BETTER? I DON'T THINK SO! *anime hearts for eyes*

Bulk and Skull and the Professor are going to use a Nasada space ship to go into space. It's... not the best idea? But it's all they have. At least they're trying. So they manage to launch the space ship without any help at all. They hurtle towards the asteroid. The MegaZords are pushing the asteroid at full power. Will they make it?

To be continued...

1 fish. OMG ONE FISH. The actual science in this episode outweighs ANYTHING ELSE that could be wrong with it.

Episode 278 - The Rangers' Leap of Faith

So we start off with the ending of the last episode again. We already saw this! Both sides have valid points, and they need to learn the value of compromise.

Seriously, they're replaying the ENTIRE LAST SCENE. I mean, it's a great scene, but when you only have so long in an episode, do you really want to waste it?

So we finally get to a new scene after the credits, and Karone is tied to a poll in the maintenance bay. Andros shows up to give her some food and I'm just picturing Tommy screaming at the others after this, because... yeah. Andros brings Karone some food, and they have a discussion about trust. Then Karone asks about their parents, and it is very sad, and they start bonding over that. Apparently they stayed up talking and slept in there.

When they approach the planet, Andros springs the news on the others that it has to look like Astronema captured them. Maybe you should have mentioned that in advance, Andros.

Astronema contacts Dark Spectre and he's all "I'm so proud of you" and then lowers the force field. Rangers in chains, you guys. :D

As soon as possible, the Rangers remove their chains, and TJ starts issuing orders. Once a red...

Fighters stop by, and Astronema is all "What, they're escorts" and the Rangers do not look happy. Andros escorts Astronema off the bridge while TJ pilots and looks all badass.

TJ doesn't like it and decides to ditch the escorts, which um, is BEYOND STUPID. Because now you have advertised that Astronema isn't there, and also for all you know, they WERE leading you there.

The ship gets hit by lightning and there's smoke and darkness and all super dramatic, and then they crash. TJ, I adore you, but that was STUPID.

For a planet with such an unstable atmosphere, the planet looks very nice.

Andros runs back to check on Karone, and she has apparently ditched her chains and left the ship. TJ takes this as confirmation that she was leading them into a trap, and Andros refuses to believe it. They go exploring and run into Darkonda and the Pirahnatrons. Time to morph!

The other Rangers distract things while they yell for Andros to go find Zordon, and Karone grabs Andros while the others are all getting captured. Ecliptor shows up but he can't hurt Astronema, so he tells them to just go on. Darkonda then attacks Ecliptor and calls him a traitor, and he manages to capture him.

Andros and Karone comes upon Zordon's warp tube, and DUN DUN DUN, it turned out to actually be a trap. That was actually Dark Spectre in there, and the rangers are all captured. Astronema tells Dark Spectre that her trap worked perfectly, and he tells her to destroy them, and then teleports out. She tells Darkonda to destroy them, and then right before he's about to, she blasts him in the back and lets the other Rangers escape.

There's a fight scene, and it looks like the Rangers will get caught again, but Ecliptor comes to the rescue, and he tells Karone and the others to go, even though she yells that she can't leave him. She loves her surrogate daddy! The Rangers escape.

Dark Spectre gives Darkonda control of the dark fortress, but only until Astronema returns. Dark Spectre says he has plans for Astronema and Ecliptor, that will ensure they never stray again.

Back on the bridge of the Megaship, TJ leads the others in apologizing to Karone. She tells them that she's never had friends, and that she hopes that one day they'll believe that she doesn't want to hurt them. They tell her that they believe her right now, and also, now she has five friends. Ashley grabs her hand and seriously looks like she's about to kiss it. I feel this is relevant to people's interests.

End episode with Alpha saying the gesture of friendship is so beautiful.

Fish: 2! The plans and crosses and betrayals all worked out pretty nicely.

Episode 273 - A Date With Danger

So um. I have mentioned I really like the villain/Ranger thing, right? (See Goldar/Jason, Scorpina/Adam, Scorpina/Aisha, eventually Trakeena/Damon and Lucas/Nadira...)

Yeah, so Astronema/Zhane is TOTALLY on that list.

Which is why I'm recapping this and not Queenriley, who just informed me that if she was doing it, the recap would consist of "BUT YOU CAN'T MACK ON YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!"

Instead I will talk about Astronema/Zhane and how they should have really great sex.

We open up in a fight scene. That's usually not a good sign, but Zhane and Astronema flirting/fighting is great, especially when Zhane tricks Astronema into shooting her own monster. He tries to attack her and Zhane comes to her aid, because... she's hot?

Meanwhile, the other Rangers have destroyed the other monster, and we hit theme song. Such a good theme song.

Zhane has apparently taken Astronema to a secluded spot in the woods. He's ditched the helmet, built a fire, and propped her staff up against the tree. Then she stares at his ass for a minute, and then pretends to sleep again. And then he brings her something to drink, which she promptly insults.

Zhane is sad that she doesn't like his cooking. Meanwhile, Astronema is all "I could destroy you right now" and Zhane is all "here, let me show you how to toast marshmallows with your staff."

Astronema, honey, if you don't take him, QR and I will fight over him.

Astronema tells Zhane that they're still enemies, and then thanks him for saving her. We get some more shots of his ass. SO GREAT.

Back on the megaship, Carlos and TJ are goofing around, and Cassie and Ashley are all excited that star crossed lovers is playing. Carlos has no desire to see it. CARLOS, THIS IS WHY ASHLEY IS IGNORING YOU FOR ANDROS.

Meanwhile, Astronema is daydreaming about Zhane. Because he's dreeeamy. She's too busy fantasizing to be bothered with details about destroying the Rangers.

Back on the Megaship, Zhane is laying in his bunk, with one hand holding up a picture of Astronema, and we see nothing else of him. Gee, I wonder what he's doing?

Then the girls interrupt and drag him off to a movie. Even though he had better things to do. Astronema decides not to send monsters to interrupt their movie and instead goes down herself, ditching the awesome hair. (Note: Carlos thought the movie was romantic. Clearly he was having a lot of fun during the movie.)

Zhane stares at the movie poster and fantasizes about kissing Astronema. Astronema in human!form knocks into him, and causes him to drop his picture. Then she shoots him a LOVE LETTER with his picture of her, telling him to meet her at the campfire at 5.

Elgar and Ecliptor try to figure out where Astronema is, and then they decide to just go ahead with the plan anyway, because they're sure that's what they would have wanted. This interrupts the five main rangers discussion of the movie + food, and this time the monster knows all about their weapons. Because of the first fight.

Back at the picnic spot, Astronema has set up the BEST PICNIC EVER. Zhane has run to the Megaship where he's busy primping for the date. And he's bought flowers for Astronema! But Zhane is interrupted because the monster is attacking and so he has to miss the date. SAD FOR EVERYONE.

Astronema is getting pissed that he's late, and Zhane is clearly trying to get this done as soon as possible. Andros punches Ecliptor and then Zhane knocks off the monster's horns and it grows. Zhane is all "I AM LATE. YOU GO KILL THIS THING." And they do. Which I don't care about, because toys fighting and can we get back to Astronema and Zhane's soap opera, please????

Zhane shows up with flowers, and Astronema blasts him because he's LATE. Now he's all covered in mud. Astronema is mad that he stood her up and he's like "I DIDN'T." Zhane tells her he wouldn't have been late if she hadn't sent down any monsters, and she calls him a liar and says he never wants to see her again. EVERYONE HAS A SAD NOW.

Back on the Megaship, Ashley gets elected to find out what's wrong with Zhane. She fails, so Andros tries. Zhane just makes a sadface at him. When he fails, Cassie tries, but he just walks away. SUCH A SAD, ZHANE.

Back on the satellite, Astronema crumples up her picture of Zhane, but she can't make herself throw it away. BECAUSE OTP YOU GUYS. THIS IS SO GREAT.

Fish: 3 So how did they get the pictures of each other anyway? How did Zhane manage to set up the campfire that quickly? How long did it take for Zhane to fight the mosnter and be late? (I DON'T CARE HOW MANY FISH THIS HAS, IT IS SO GREAT.)

Fic we want: ALL THE ZHANE/ASTRONEMA. SECRET DATING. MY FAVORITE. Also, Astronema being pissed at Ecliptor for screwing up her date.

Episode 272 - The Silver Secret

So Astronema is watching the battle, and she's all "Damn, Zhane is fine." She's also timing how long it takes for him to demorph, because she is the SMARTEST EVER. She discovers that Zhane is limited to 2 1/2 minutes, and really, Astronema, you may want to rethink your taste in men.

Why only 2 1/2 minutes? Why is it timed and not just a "you only have this much power" thing. Is 2 1/2 minutes of just standing there the same as 2 1/2 minutes of shooting things?

Back on the ship, Alpha is running a bunch of tests on Zhane. Cassie and Andros overhear Alpha tell Zhane that he doesn't have very much time, so they go tell the others that ZHANE IS DYING. Meanwhile, Alpha continues to explain the 2 1/2 minutes thing to Zhane.

OKAY. YOU DO NOT TELL SOMEONE'S NEWS LIKE THAT EVER. IT IS THEIR DECISION WHEN TO GIVE OUT THOSE DETAILS AND ALSO SCREW YOU. Also, eavesdropping never works well for anyone.

Cassie and Andros start babying Zhane and massaging him and telling him to put his feet up and then a monster shows up but they tell him to stay behind. The monster is all "call your little friend!" and they're all "Why do we need him?"

Zhane watches the fight and sees everyone get stomped on, and he decides that even with his 2 1/2 minutes or whatever, he's going to risk it. He shows up to save them, and Cassie and Andros are all "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

Zhane's 2 1/2 minutes starts to run out and the others are all "nope, we got this" so he goes off to demorph somewhere not surrounded by people. Not that there are any people around, or that I even see why he would care about this.

Andros and Cassie again decide that they need to tell the others. Andros has held a meeting where he and Cassie tell them. The others assume also that he's ding, and Zhane overhears them and decides to have some fun with it, because he's a cocky jackass and I love him. The others all start babying him. Zhane asks for pie, and Ashley is all "Here!" and Cassie is all "BUT IT ISN'T GOOD FOR HIM" and then they start fighting and Zhane is trying not to crack up. (I am on Ashley's side in this one.)

Meanwhile, Alpha has figured out that Zhane's battery is just low. Zhane tells Alpha what's going on, and Alpha is all "tell them the truth!" which... he really should. Because making your friends think you are dying is a REALLY JACKASSY THING TO DO.

The others start to run off again, and when they forbid Zhane to go with him Zhane does try and tell them the truth, but Andros is like "later!" and goes off. Zhane is frustrated about not being able to morph, and then he decides if he gets hit by lightning he'll be fine, or end up with super speed or something.

So Zhane climbs a cliff and then yells SHAZAM and gets hit by lightning and somehow this fixes everything and I just. Really? They couldn't have just charged the battery back up or something? Lightning? Really? Or changed the battery in the morpher? This is ridiculous.

Zhane shows up to fight the ugly mantis thing and the other rangers get distracted by the Quantrons. Zhane gets all tied up and the other Rangers all run towards him dramatically and then the countdown ends and there's an explosion. Andros falls to his knees assuming Zhane is dead.

Then Zhane shows back up all morphed and is like "hey guys! Not dead!" Cassie, Zhane and Andros all shoot at the monster which destroys him until Astronema makes him grow. Fight, etc.

Back on the ship the others are mad about Zhane not telling him the truth and they make him clean. UM. ANDROS. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE EAVESDROPPED ON A MEDICAL CONVERSATION IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THEN TOLD EVERYONE, YOU JACKASS.

Fish: 4. Everything about that lightning was bullshit.

Episode 267- The Rangers' Mega Voyage

Shana tova everyone! We are BACK! And we start the new year (the Jewish one anyway) with Power Rangers! What better way to ring in Rosh Hashanah, eh? (or, as Matt Austin Sadowski wished us on his twitter "Happy JewYear")

So we start out with a fight. A fight? Really? That... does not bode well. It's two big monsters and they're going after the Megazord. Carlos notes that reserve power is about to go out. This must have been one heck of a fight. Alpha has worked out one of the key cards and I have to wonder why he was doing that instead of helping with the MEGAFIGHT, but whatever. He's found a super awesome weapon that they conveniently have juuusstttt enough power to go get.

One of the monsters goes after the rangers. Astronema is all badass with a card playing monster we saw when there was Sword Fighting on my Power Rangers. She's very much with the "torture is fun!" and manages to get lots of information about the key cards. Very helpfully provided to us, the viewers, in the form of clips from the previous episode. Way to waste a clip show.

The rangers find the Super Awesome Weapon while the other monster is attacking Alpha and DECA. They aren't really doing much in the fighting back bit. Unfortunately, Astronema totally wants that weapon and heads them off at the pass. Andros is sure he's found the weapon because he totally knows it when he sees it, but Cassie provides drama by FALLING DOWN dramatically as the door closes. She jumps right through just in time, sealing them off from Astronema. This is not an exciting chase scene. They need to take some pointers from Indiana Jones.

The weapon is really five new zords. Four of which are conveniently positioned around a very phallic looking rocket. OH SHOW. Zordon left the New Toys because he totes trolls the rangers. They take the New Toys back to Earth and fight the monster. I'm wondering what happened to the monster that was supposed to be following them. Is he just chilling out in space? Just kind of milling about enjoying the view? They ARE on one of Jupiter's moons. That's got to be one pretty sweet view.

There is a boring fight. It is almost as boring as JDF (did you hear he's this years NPS guest? I... really could care less. I used to live near the dude. Didn't care then, either) The New Toys rescue Alpha and DECA just in time. There is dramatic music. It's not nearly as epic as Rick Astley. This episode is still boring.

(this episode is made so much better by the Spousal Person helpfully playing Rick Astley in the background for the whole 20 minutes... which might have been irritating if I didn't unironically love Rick Astley.)

5 fish, for being utterly boring and forgettable.

Episode 261- The Delta Discovery

Did you know we just hit 100 followers? That's right, 100 of you read our craziness. And not just because you have to, but because you want to! You guys are so awesome! I never thought we'd reach this point. Thank you, all of you, for taking the time to read our recaps. It means a lot!

And hey guys! We get Divatox again! And today I link to Star Wars instead of Star Trek. For a change.

So Divatox has Zordon in his tube thingy and he's being consumed by lava. LAVA IS EATING HIM. It's... special. But we get to see Divatox again so that's all good! The Phantom Menace Ranger is observing. He sends a recorded transmission out. "Help me, Power Rangers. You're my only hope!" Yeah, he's totally Leia.

So the Rangers go to his coordinates, where he has confronted Divatox. But then Astronema comes in and takes Zordon away, sending her goons to attack. The Rangers are all concerned about Zordon but really guys? You met him all of once! We're of the opinion Tommy and Adam kept in touch, because they're totally addicted and couldn't just give up the power, and have spoon fed the new Rangers stories of Zordon and his epic fails.

Meanwhile, Divatox must grovel to Maligore Dark Specter for her job, while Astronema gets all the credit. She runs off in the ship with Zordon. Phantom continues to fight. It's all very dramatic. Or not. Mostly because I don't like Phantom. Ecliptor shows up to take out Phantom (YAY!) but then the Rangers show up and stop him (SAD!). He runs away.

But then there is a crocodile monster thingy in the lake on Earth. It's totally stalking random guys on the beach. This episode is all over the place. The Rangers go back to Earth instead of chasing after Zordon, except Andros has to go get something by himself. Phantom hands him an iPod and Andros goes off on his own. Phantom collapses, badly damaged, with wires and circuitry and stuff hanging out. So... is he a robot? Or is that just his suit? In which case he isn't all that damaged after all.

On Earth there is a random fight with the crocodile monster thing. It molests the boys a little and then grows big and there are zords and WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???? Suddenly there are two crocodile monster things and they decide they need some help. They ought to be able to handle this on their own, but since when has this show been terribly consistent? Oh well.

Somehow Andros has caught up to the Delta Megaship. He was on his GALAXY GLIDER. AND HE CAUGHT UP TO THE SHIP. IN DEEP SPACE. He traveled light years in seconds WHILE ON A SURFBOARD. The lack of even attempting science in this BOTHERS ME.

Andros must insert a tiny cd from the iPod into a slot, but he doesn't know which one and Phantom won't respond. He picks one and there are red flashy lights and it was apparently just scanning it? That... is special. Now the Delta Megaship is his and he takes it to Earth to fight off the two crocodile monster things. It transforms as it enters the atmosphere. And it has a lot of guns. Which is also... special. They totally win. Are we surprised? I didn't think so.

Dark Specter yells at Astronema for failing him. He threatens to crush her in her sleep if she fails again. It's all good. She has a PLAN.

The Rangers head back to where they left Phantom, hoping to help him. He left another communication for them to let them know he's left to follow Dark Specter. Cassie has a sad because her imaginary boyfriend left. She ought to try to focus on a REAL boyfriend who can be PRESENT in her life. Except Phantom won't let her because he totally left her a message all her own, letting her know he's okay and please don't forget him. LET THE GIRL MOVE ON, DUDE.

3 fish. The science fail is strong with this one.

Episode 253 - Save Our Ship

Sorry about the hiatus, you guys. Real life sucks. A lot. But we are back now, and hopefully on a schedule.

I maintain that the title of the episode is referring to the Ashley/Carlos ship, which the show decided to take from me. *SOB*

So we open on a holodeck simudeck, where Ashley and TJ are doing some training against some really ugly mooks, the Craterites. Alpha calls the Rangers and tells them they're arriving at Earth, and Ashley asks Andros if he's ever been to Earth before. Her alien fetish is REALLY SHOWING, AND HI, ASHLEY, WHAT ABOUT CARLOS???

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull are stargazing, looking for a new comet. Instead they spot Astronema's base. They are pretty good at finding the bad guys! This is why they are seriously big damn heroes.

Astronema notices that they're taking the shuttle to Earth, and then Elgar shows up. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY? Astronema tells the quantrons to throw Elgar off the Dark Fortress, but Elgar claims that Dark Spectre sent him.

The Rangers discover that the Surf Spot has replaced the Juice Bar, and while Adelle is pretty great, I miss the Juice Bar. :( Andros looks very confused, and then he sees a surf board on the wall. Adelle asks him what planet he's from after he asks her what a surfboard is, and he tells her KO-35, and she laughs. Okay, that's actually kind of adorable.

Adelle brings the Rangers some fries even though they haven't ordered them. Because she TOTALLY KNOWS that they are Rangers. Ernie and/or Lt Stone totally let her know to be nice to them. (We are shipping Adelle/Ernie right now, because we can)

Andros uses his telekinis to put hot sauce in Bulk's drink. Yeah, Bulk was being a jerk to Skull, but that was a total dick move. (QR disagrees with me, but she also likes Andros and I don't.)

Skull starts loudly talking to Bulk about the space ship they saw and whether the professor will believe them, and then they run off. Because of this, the Rangers realize that Astronema has followed them back to Earth.

Bulk and Skull make it to Professor Phenomenous' place, and his awesome mailbox has a speaker attached, where they tell him they've seen aliens. Why is this a big deal? People have been invading Earth for 5 seasons now! Why is aliens suddenly not believable? I mean, last season there were monster tours.

Andros notices that they're being followed, and the Rangers turn around to see Quantrons, and we get some unmorphed fighting. And also TJ and Carlos have gone shopping for clothes in their new colors at some point. Alpha calls them and everyone morphs.

The Professor + Bulk and Skull are driving in the van of awesomeness, when it breaks down in front of NASADA. The Professor insists that the NASADA sign is actually an alien, and Bulk asks him for ID. Of course, at that exact point the Quantrons teleport in.

Meanwhile, the Rangers are attacked by Ecliptor. HE IS SO AWESOME. SO AWESOME. He and Andros fight one on one, while Astronema and her awesome hair decide to destroy the shuttle. Ecliptor heads out, and it looks like the shuttle might be destroyed and we get some GIGANTIC EXPLOSIONS and... then they just go into the shuttle and take off? Okay then. I am not really going to argue.

Astronema is the best, and I love her. Ecliptor grows, the Megazord is formed, and you know how this all works. Seriously, we are running out of ways to describe Megazord fights. It is cool for the spaced based part and the re-entry onto Earth, and Ecliptor is pretty awesome, especially when he makes seven of himself, but... yeah. We have seen this all before. Ashley uses her helmet mode and figures out that the real Ecliptor is the one in the center. Really? That would have been my guess as well. It looks like Ecliptor gets blown up by the Megazord, but he is far too awesome for that.

Ashley challenges Andros to a game of pool, and he uses his telekinisis again. Ashley thinks its incredibly hot. They offer a trade of pool lessons for telekinisis lessons. I... don't think telekinisis works that way, but I'll totally take it.

Astronema has changed her hair again, and she is fabulous. Except then we get the lead into the Turtles.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU SCREW UP A POWER RANGERS/TURTLES CROSSOVER. HOW?

Ugh, I may have to go marathon the Turtles movies. EVEN TMNT3 IS BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.

Fish: 2. Mostly for you know, the ending. How does Astronema know about the Turtles anyway?

Fic we want: Um, there have to be some creative uses for the Simudeck, right?