Showing posts with label fatphobia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fatphobia. Show all posts

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Episode 232- One Last Hope

Expect lots of recaps this weekend. I am at TSB's place and it's too hot to do anything but watch PR. Win/win!

Last time on Power Rangers- things were really boring.

This week on Power Rangers- things are STILL really boring!

So the Megazord is gone and the Phantom Menace has told them here is hope, but won't tell them what it is, when it will come, or what to expect. What a horrible tease! The Rangers are losing hope. Cassie is totally wearing a Blossom hat (must have raided Kim's wardrobe) and I totally don't know how anybody can have a sad when wearing a Blossom hat.

Elgar and Porto have the Megazord. Porto wants to figure out how it works, but Elgar calls it obsolete. Somehow, though, they have information on the Phantom Menace. They found it in the Ranger Database. WHY DIDN'T THE RANGERS FIND IT THEN?!?!?! Meanwhile, Divatox fondles her brother's laser (no really) and manages to accidentally make it fire. NO. REALLY.

Bulk and Skull are still showing tourists around on the Monster Tour. We love this! There should be way more of the Monster Tours and way less of... just about the whole rest of Turbo. They lead some disgruntled tourists up to the top of a skyscraper. This will not end well.

General Havoc is taking a scenic tour of Angel Grove in his Metalsaurus. He's using a map that looks nothing like a map and nothing like any kind of city EVER built. Somehow the rangers have a hard time spotting this HUGE metalsaurus that is destroying the city. In finding him, however, TJ loses control of his SENTIENT CAR. Y'know, the car that controls ITSELF. Whatever.

Boring fights are very boring. And this episode is full of them.

They keep losing these boring fights and Phantom comes to save the day, leading them through a portal down into the sewers. They flee through the sewers for awhile (are we sure the TMNT crossover isn't until next season???) and end up with their new zords.

The city crumbles, Divatox takes credit, says the most awesome line of the whole episode "Viva La Diva!" and Alpha 6 gives up the fight and loses all hope. He's a real downer. Meanwhile Bulk and Skull are fleeing the skyscraper and pass out at the sight of the monster. Skull wakes Bulk up using a hot dog as smelling salt and tries to get him to run away, except Bulk won't leave the milkshakes. HE RISKS HIS LIFE FOR THE MILKSHAKES?!?!?! REALLY SHOW DID YOU HAVE TO GO THERE????

Except they totally have the new zords now and The Village People rock the fight, using the firetruck zord, two construction vehicle zords, the cop car zord, and the ambulance zord to take down the Metalsaurus. Bad puns abound.

Boring episode is REALLY boring and we end with Phantom being all Emo looking over the heavily destroyed city.

5 fish. I hate boring episodes.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Episode 137- Rita's Pita

Warning: Possible eating triggers

OMG show. I hate this episode. I really really hate this episode. And now, starting out this recap, I wonder how many times I'll have to rewrite this due to capslock incoherency.

So we start this episode with Tommy sparring with an Inappropriately Young Friend. They finish up and Ernie asks what they want to eat. Tommy orders a veggie pita and a fruit smoothie while IYF orders a double cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake. That's a lot of food for a kid but hey, if he's paying for it, more power to him.

Tommy decides to turn this into a Very Special Episode and chastises the IYF for choosing unhealthy food for this one, singular meal. Apparently your body is a temple and ought to be treated as such by only ever eating the healthiest possible food at all times and never ever splurging on something unhealthy, not once, not ever. Because eating junk food makes you a Bad Person unworthy of being a role model. So IYF immediately sees the light of day and orders a veggie pita and fruit smoothie too. *eyeroll*

Meanwhile, Rita and Zedd are doing a better job of watching the rangers than Zordon ever has, and they decide to destroy Tommy by sending down a shrunken monster for him to accidentally eat. The monster will make him eat uncontrollably. It's like Innerspace: the tapeworm sequel!

So the monster goes down and climbs into Tommy's veggie pita. Though I don't think you can really call it that. It's two pieces of pita used as sandwich bread around a few pieces of lettuce. That's... not actually that healthy. So much for the "lesson" of this Very Special Episode.

During this time, Kat, after leaving Adam and Billy who apparently has a crush on her, overhears Rita and Zedd's conversation. How, we don't know. Remnant of the spell apparently. At least that's the convenient plot point of it this particular episode. She rushes to the Youth Center to tell the others what she's overheard, but alas, she's surrounded by some Tenga warriors. She calls her ninja powers for the first time and spends most of the fight being very excited she can morph and harness the pink power and all that jazz. It gets kind of annoying after awhile. Or maybe that's just THIS STUPID EPISODE ITSELF.

Anyway, the monster takes hold of Tommy's stomach and he immediately must eat a bunch of junk food. He takes a platter of sandwiches, chips. twinkies, and cookies away from Bulk and Skull and starts downing it as if he hasn't eaten in weeks. The way he's eating is disturbing. But nobody seems to care about the fact that he's shoveling entire twinkies into his mouth and swallowing without even chewing. No, they are concerned not that he's eating like a starved man, but that he's eating JUNK FOOD.

Rocky and Aisha look disgusted at his food of choice. Inappropriately Young Friend way overreacts, calls Tommy a lying hypocrite, says he has can no longer look up to Tommy as a role model, and stomps off. The others have lost all respect for Tommy. All because Tommy is eating some junk food. OMG show, will you just lay off the EAT HEALTHY OR BE A DISGUSTING SLOB UNWORTHY OF FRIENDSHIP OR LOVE line of thinking here? Seriously?

Kat tries to explain what she heard and Billy tries to get Tommy to go with him to the Command Center for some scans. Tommy refuses, wanting more food, and Billy is sure there is something wrong. Not because he's eating in excessive amounts, mind, but because he's eating junk food. Tommy says there is nothing wrong that a donut won't fix and Billy knows it's way more serious than he thought... because Tommy is going to eat a DONUT! OH NOES! That's it. One donut will surely RUIN HIM FOR LIFE.

The others leave him to go find dessert while they go talk to Zordon. Zordon shows them the monster in Tommy's stomach and Adam asks if they can just teleport Tommy to them. Zordon refuses because bringing Tommy to the Command Center will bring the monster to the Command Center, and that would be far too dangerous and risking far too much. Uh... wait. Didn't they just bring ZEDD into the Command Center? ZEDD? Mr. Evil Emperor himself? And somehow the piddly Tapeworm MONSTER is more dangerous?

Meanwhile, at a local bake sale, Bulk and Skull have decided to stall sales so they can eat whatever isn't sold. Tommy doesn't care that the pies are (not really) made of fish, and downs a bunch of food. He at least pays for it.

The rangers manage to get Tommy away and explain what's going on. He just can't resist though. Aisha comes up with an awesome plan and gets Rocky to help her bring over a massive ice cream sundae. Tommy tries to lunge for it but the others hold him back. The monster wants that sundae though, so he jumps out of Tommy's stomach and they all have to fight. Kat is still super excited she's a ranger.

The monster grows and the rangers call their zords and I have a moment of rage that Kat is Tommy's copilot, except apparently it was mentioned that Kim did that as well, though I don't recall seeing it. Oh well. They beat the Tapeworm Monster and save the day.

At the Youth Center, Tommy approaches the downtrodden just-had-his-whole-world-shattered Inappropriately Young Friend. IYF refuses to listen at first, calling Tommy a hypocrite. And now he's going to quit karate, too. Way to overreact, IYF! Tommy admits he made some pretty big mistakes (DUDE ATE SOME JUNK FOOD, THAT IS NOT A MISTAKE NOR THE END OF THE WORLD), and gives a lesson on being true to yourself and yada yada yada.

Number of times I had to rewrite: Only twice. I gave up trying to take the rage out. It's just not happening.

Fish: ALL THE FISH IN THE WORLD. Um, really only about 4.5 I guess. But I want to give it all the fish in the world. Stupid episode.

Things we'd like to see: This monster fighting the Pudgy Pig (PP would TOTALLY win) OR, alternately, this monster having a sit down and chat session with Pudgy Pig. They'd have a lot to talk about!

Junk food eaten during the viewing of this episode: consumed some Cheez-Its and 3 Cosmos. only had some water, but is now, having finished writing this, going to eat a HUGE bowl of ice cream. Because this episode made me NEED IT.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Episode 116- Ninja Quest Part 1

So I don't have the dvds of this season, and the copies I'm watching have the German title screens. Today we're watching Das Ninja- Abenteuer.

We start out at a volleyball game that involves far too much clothing. The Ranger, I mean, the Angel Grove team is trailing behind the Stone Canyon team. Ernie promises the winners free lunch at his new outdoor cafe. Adam scores the tying point.

At Rita and Zedd's palace, Zedd has blindfolded his wife and is leading her to a large present. She takes the blindfold off and he removes the cover to reveal a new telescope, which she calls a Repulsascope, in which to watch the Rangers on Earth! What an awesome anniversary present! Meanwhile, something crashes nearby. We discover it's a skeleton guy and he buries some eggs.

Back on Earth, Billy saw the flash and is distracted during the volleyball game. He misses the shot and it hits Bulk in the head instead. The Rangers gather around to discuss what happened... mid-game. The only thing I really noticed about this scene is that the Rangers, while all wearing red shirts, have colour coded their shorts to their colours, except Kim who is wearing white pants.

Back at the evil palace, the crashed skeleton flies into Zedd's throne room. He's about to kick out the intruder when Rita stops him. This skeleton is none other than her brother, Rito Revolto! We kind of love Rito. He's... unique. The eggs are a wedding present for Rita and Zedd but he won't tell them what they are until they hatch. They come up with a plan to attack Angel Grove and send Rito down in front of an army of monsters to trick the Power Rangers.

Billy scores the winning point and Ernie is so happy he offers free lunch to EVERYBODY. Oh Ernie, how do you ever make any money? So at the outdoor cafe, everyone is enjoying free sandwiches. Bulk stuffs some in his vest and we are about to get all mad when he overhears some girls talking about loving men in uniforms (though they are specifically talking about the Power Rangers), and Bulk comes up with a brilliant idea. Skull spills milkshake/smoothie/thick drink of some sort all over Bulk while trying to get everyone's attention. Bulk announces that he and Skull are going to join the Junior Police Patrol and all mouths drop wide open in utter shock. Even Skull is surprised. We, however, just love the idea. It's the start of some solid and consistent character growth for these two and we're looking forward to it.

Zedd sends down the monsters, Rito and four of Finster's previous monsters, and they all hide. Except Rito who is the decoy. He sits down in the middle of the park and waits. Zordon is actually paying attention for a change and sends the Rangers in to find out what Zedd has left in the park. They answer their communicators in the middle of the crowded outdoor cafe. Really guys? Not so much with the SECRET part of secret identities there.

So they go to the park and confront Rito, who immediate grows in a new monster-growing sequence. Rita and Zedd cross staffs and chant a spell, which makes the monsters grow. It's pretty awesome. So he's all big and the Rangers summon their zords. 12 minutes in and we get zords. This NEVER goes well when it's this early.

They fight for a minute but then the other four monsters come out of hiding and grow. The Rangers are overwhelmed and quickly losing power. Alpha takes the Power Accelerator from the fish and begin boosting the power, but it's not enough and the Power Accelerator is quickly overloading. Zordon warns that if it shorts out, the Rangers will lose their powers. We don't know how that works, but it's quickly forgotten in what I feel is one of the most emotional and well done scenes of this entire series.

The power overloads. The Rangers quickly abandon the Zords. They force demorph and just as they are trying to figure out what's going on, there are some massive explosions. The Zords are blowing up, from the inside out. They literally fall to pieces right in front of our eyes. Kim screams and tries to run for them, but Adam and Billy hold her back. It's devastating, watching the Zords just fall apart like that, and it still hurts my heart to this day, no matter how many times I've watched it happen.

To Be Continued (or in my copy, Fortsetzung Folgt)


Fish: 3, mostly for the Power Accelerator bit.

Billy speak: none, alas

Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in smoothie

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie- Part 2

Previously on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie- Adam is a frog! That's... really probably the most important bit.

So now in Angel Grove Ivan Ooze is controlling the parents. He's making them dig up his ectomorphicons while he lazes about. In a very creepy and slightly terrifying scene, he makes one parent do a series of dances. The dancing in and of itself isn't scary, but the implications, that he can make them do literally ANYTHING, absolutely terrify me to my core.

Anyway, the dancing is interrupted by the return of the Snot!Tengus. They claim to have destroyed the Power Rangers, but Ooze sees right through them and the eventually confess to a horrible monster driving them away with noisy sticks. Ooze works out that it's Dulcea and he's sure this will ruin his plan, so he better hurry and get those ectomorphicons out of the ground. He blows up the Snot!Tengus in frustration.

Back on Phaedos, the rangers have waited for sunrise and are now ready to set out in search of the Great Power. They walk a lot and look very very pretty with their floppy hair.

Back in Angel Grove again, Fred has managed to sneak down into the pit. Nobody has seen him or seems to notice him, and he investigates what's going on. Sadly, nobody will respond to him because they are all zombiefied by the ooze. We're left wondering why Fred is the ONLY person trying to figure out what's going on. Seriously? Are there no childless adults in Angel Grove? Where the heck is everybody else???

On Phaedos, the rangers have stumbled upon a dinosaur graveyard, which is very symbolic what with giving up their dinosaur powers and moving on to other powers. Adam welcomes them to Jurassic Park and I squeel in delight (one of my top ten favourite movies EVER). Or, rather, they stumble upon what is supposed to be a dinosaur graveyard but these skeletons look nothing like any dinosaurs I know. The skeletons wake up and begin attacking. The main attacker is what might have been a Centrosaurus, Styracosaurus, or possibly a Monoclonius, only it has sharp teeth instead of the flat rows of an herbivore (which all actual ceratopsidae dinosaurs were). So... either the set designers really fail at biology or the dinosaurs of Phaedos were all carnivores. Anyway, it attacks the rangers. First Rocky goes after it to defend Aisha, but he gets knocked aside. Then it chases Kimberly into a ribcage and Tommy has to jump on it's back to get it away (while she screams her head off for Tommy, despite being so awesome in the first half of the movie). Biology fail abounds as Tommy wins by pulling out a single bone in the neck which causes the head to fall off and the entire rest of the skeleton to collapse. Billy makes a bad joke about biology finally paying off. Oh Billy, didn't you know? Biology pays off every single day of your life!

Back on Earth, Ivan is packing up all his mass produced snot, I mean ooze, to be shipped out for... we don't know what. His ectomorphicons are unearthed, he's pumping snot ooze through them to bring them to life, and he's basically done with the parents of Angel Grove. So he sends them away. To leap to their dooms. Which they start chanting in the best line of the movie.

Phaedos has a conveniently cut out path through the jungle for the rangers to follow to get to the Temple where they'll find the Great Power. Instead of some big huge quest or some awesome proving themselves worthy, they only have to fight four golems. You'd think there would be some kind of "facing worst fears" or something, but no. It's an easy fight, overall, and there are some great lines. Billy uses his brain, though he states the obvious a lot. Adam and Rocky fight in sync and do a great job defending each other as well as the other rangers. Tommy stands around primping or fixing his hair or something until Kim needs him and then suddenly he's in the action. He does make an awesome comment that has us both rolling and thinking Tommy really shouldn't be commenting on the mental aptitude of the golems. There is, however, massive physics fail.

They beat the golems, of course, in what is probably the easiest NEW power acquisition of the entire series. They get their powers, new zords, and go on about their merry way while Dulcea watches in owl form. Good job, Rangers.

Fred has found all the kids of Angel Grove partying and he manages to convince them something isn't right, despite their initial apathy to the whole missing-parents thing. Really kids? Obnoxious little brats, you all are. They decide they need to go stop the parents, thanks to Fred, and hopefully save the day.

Ivan is destroying the city with his ectomorphicons. The reporter is wondering where the rangers are as people run screaming and the mayor evacuates the city. The rangers then show up all morphed and ready to fight. They call on their zords and epic battles ensue, destroying an office building yet not denting the pavement even a little. Ooze proclaims his losing inconceivable and I think he's awesome, except he's no Vizzini! Frustrated, goos his way into one of the ectomorphicons and begins to fight the rangers himself. Tommy has to delay forming the Megazord to go bridge a gap in the monorail track so Fred and all the other kids can go save their parents from leaping to their DOOM.

While the rangers fight, the kids eventually reach their parents who are very slowly making their way to the edge of the pit where they dug up the ectomorphicons. Took them long enough to walk there, right? Anyway, Fred gets the kids to try to hold back their parents while he wrangles Bulk and Skull into helping him operate a lift that shoots water. He begins to spray down the parents hoping to stop them.

The rangers, meanwhile, have taken the fight with Ooze to outer space in the hopes of getting him in the path of the plot point comet mentioned at the beginning of the movie. They fly past the Rita and Zedd snowglobe and it prompts Rita and Zedd to cheer them on in beating Ivan Ooze. Aw, show! I love that bit. The rangers and Ivan struggle in a tight embrace, upon which Ivan asks if they've hugged their zords today, and then Aisha uses the Big Red Emergency Only button. To knee Ivan in the crotch? How in the world does that work? Or make any sense? I... don't get it. But it makes him let go of the MegaZord and he flies straight into the comet while the rangers fly back to Earth. Lamest ending to a villain ever. Ivan was way too cool to go out like that!

In Angel Grove the parents come out of their zombiefied stupor and begin hugging each other and the kids. Fred's dad finds him and pulls him from the heavy machinery in a heartwarming hug. Awwww. Bulk would also like a hug from Skull, but Skull only offers him a handshake. Poor Bulk, denied affection yet again.

The Rangers make haste to the Command Center where they fear it's too late to save Zordon. Tommy remembers that Dulcea said with the power, anything is possible, so they all circle Zordon and hold their hands up. Their power restores both the Command Center and Zordon's time warp tube, which saves Zordon's life. Or something. I... don't really know how it worked. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Not and smile and try to get past the sap.

Angel Grove has exhausted it's massive fireworks budget in a celebration of the rangers saving them yet again. Bulk and Skull are telling a large crowd of people how they saved the day, while Fred approaches our heroic teens and modestly accepts congratulations on helping out to save the day. Billy says he hears that Fred is in line to be a ranger himself one day, and Fred determines that he wants to be the Gold Ranger. We approve of this since, in our headcannon, Fred grows up to date Justin.

Credits start to roll but we get a mid-credit clip of Goldar sitting on Zedd's throne and proclaiming himself King Goldar. Until Rita and Zedd walk back in. Hehehehehe. And... more credits.

The end! I love this movie.

No full list this time, since it's the movie and all, but we HAVE to rate it on our scale of fish! This movie, much as I love it, gets 2 fish. It wasn't too bad and most discrepancies can be explained away since this IS an alternate universe.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - The Movie - Part 1

I... don't think there are enough words to express how much I love this movie. I saw it in theatres. Twice. And I clearly remember forcing my parents to tape the Access Hollywood segment about the movie. (At least I think that was what it was? Whichever one of those shows covered it.) I owned this movie on VHS. It fills me with glee. So, yeah. (I later would use my little brother as an excuse to see Turbo in theatres, but we are not discussing that yet.)

ANYWAY, I have been looking forward to recapping this movie pretty much since we started the blog. And here we are.

The movie opens with some scrolling exposition text. While it is sadly not the most awesome text of exposition ever, it is still pretty cool! Dulcea narrates some basic history about how Zordon is in a time warp and he recruits teenagers to fight monsters.

CUT TO - a plane. Apparently the teens are all going sky diving for some unknown reason. To be fair, I think the whole scene is awesome. I have no idea when learned to sky dive, or who thought it would be a good idea to have Bulk and Skull go with them, and why there isn't an instructor.

Bulk and Skull prepare to jump when Kim points out that they don't have their parachutes on. *bangs head on wall* So, yeah. While they start preparing, it's time for the Ranger teens to jump. For some reason, Tommy is sky surfing. Because he's special. IDEK. This is the most completely gratuitous scene ever, but I so do not care. They do skydiving acrobatics! Honestly, I just love them. So, they all hit the target (although Adam and Rocky almost miss, which makes me sad) and we find out that the reason they're all sky diving is to try and raise money to save the observatory. The plot point comet will be passing over in 2 days.

The inappropriate young friend of the movie, Fred Kelman, makes fun of his dad for missing the target, and has a giant crush on Tommy. It's totally adorable, and I ship future!Fred/future!Justin. I want someone to write fic where they talk about their crush on Tommy from when they were 12 and how that helped them realize that they liked boys. Seriously, someone should get on this.

Also, they say that the Angel Grove team was 6 for 6, except... Bulk and Skull are on the team as well! So... yeah. Way to forget about them. (Aisha suggests that they landed on the roof trying to get to Ernie's dessert. We are... not pleased.)

Because it's me, I need to comment on the clothing. Like, seriously, I know that they all need to be color coded, but was it really necessary to put Tommy in all white? That might be the stupidest thing ever. He looks ridiculous. (I appreciate Kimberly's fanservice outfit.) And we'll be saying this a lot when we get to Zeo, but the costumer needs to cut it out with the sweatshirts. Who wears sweatshirts with shorts, anyway? I mean, besides college boys. So really, I think Aisha's outfit is ridiculous. But everyone has really nice arms, so there is that!

After sky diving, we guess that the Rangers decided it was time for a different activity, so they go roller blading to get lunch. At least they aren't chasing after a stroller this time. As they do complicated flips on rollerblades by a construction site, Bulk and Skull finally land. They have... amazing hats. And they try to get out of trouble for landing in the construction zone by claiming to be inspecting it. (Asking about proper foot protection. Oh, boys.) Luckily, they are saved, because the construction guys have uncovered a sewer cover! Which nobody has noticed before! And even though they live in Angel Grove, instead of calling the monster squad or something, they just decide to open it themselves. From an underground chamber, a giant purple Easter egg comes out. The foreman touches it (because that's totally a great idea) and he ends up being shocked by it.

Since we are in an alternate reality, Zordon is actually paying attention, and he summons the Rangers. It's still really light out, which will be relevant in a second. The new Command Center is pretty shiny, I've got to admit. We get some backstory on Ivan Ooze.

Back in Angel Grove, it's dark out. There's some warning tape up around the giant egg, and two security guards watching the egg. It's nice to know that Angel Grove has some sort of police force. However, this won't matter, because Rita and Zedd are showing up! Zedd is... a lot more menacing in this movie. His voice is different, and the brain pulsates, and it's really freaky. Goldar's face is different, and Squatt & Babboo have been replaced by a stupid pig. Zedd uses his staff to open up the egg, and Rita dips her finger in, yelling about how Zedd spent 2,000 years looking for a tub of snot. Then the giant egg filled with purple snot morphs into Ivan. (For the record, we both ship Rita/Ivan like crazy. Ivan is so awesome.) The important question is, what part of Ivan was Rita touching?

The villains have a conversation, and Zedd asks Ivan to destroy Zordon, which he agrees to do. Rita and Zedd leave, and Ooze starts to sniff the air. Apparently he can smell teenagers coming. And it's the Rangers, not some group of kids out at night.

So, even though they're teleporting in to investigate, the Rangers aren't morphed. They get caught by a security guard, and Kimberly asks if he's seen a Morphological being anywhere. Secret identities! You are... so very bad at them. Of course, the security guard is secretly a shape shifting Ivan anyway so their identities are mostly safe. Ivan creates his team of ooze monsters, and it's time for an unmorphed fight scene!

It's a pretty epic fight scene. Adam kicks a can and slams a door into a monster, Aisha flips two of them at a time, Kimberly does a lot of back flips, but these guys are too strong for them. The Rangers are all backed into a corner, and they decide it's time to morph.

Okay, let me get this out of the way. The movie costumes are stupid looking. The end.

By the time they've finished morphing, flipping, and posing, all the monsters have disappeared. They head into a building to go look for them, and we cut to the Command Center, where Zordon has discovered that Ooze is trying to enter the Command Center. Alpha says not to worry, because nobody can enter without a Power Coin, except for the times where someone has. Ooze soaks his way through the door.

He immediately starts in on Zordon, yelling about how uncomfortable it is to be locked up in an egg. Zordon might not know anything about being locked in an egg, but he's been stuck in a time warp for even longer! But Ooze will have none of it, and instead he starts ranting about the thing he has missed - the Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition!! The Brady Bunch Reunion! Then he totally destroys the Command Center. Ivan is totally more awesome and more effective than Rita and Zedd.

Back at the construction site, the Rangers go looking for the monsters. Aisha apparently has a really weak flashlight in her helmet, which does... nothing. Rocky also apparently has a scanner in his helmet, which... points out that there are monsters right in front of them. Cue fight scene!

It's a pretty cool fight. Adam and Rocky team up and rescue each other, there are some silly one liners, Kimberly gets a thunder whip, and for some reason Billy gets a Stega Stinger. Billy is the TRICERATOPS Ranger, not the STEGOSAURUS. (The Stegosaurus Ranger is totally everyone's OC from when they were 10, right? Or was that just me?) Adam.... doesn't get anything. Totally not fair. Tommy totally thinks he's Liu Kang. Just as they finish squashing all the ooze creatures, their powers fail.

Somehow they make it back to the Command Center and force the doors open. I know this is an AU, but I don't understand how Zordon's warp tube being destroyed leads to him dying, but whatever. If this was our universe, they would have just lost contact with him, but I guess this isn't our universe, so it instead causes Zordon to start dying. Or something. While the Rangers all make sad faces, Alpha tells them there's a way to still save Zordon, which they instantly agree to do. They have to go to the distant planet of Phaedos and seek the Great Power there. Even with Ivan on the loose, the Rangers go. Because they love Zordon a lot. ♥

On the moon, Rita is being a crazy stalker, and knows the Rangers are going after the Great Power. She starts yelling at Ivan, who flings purple ooze over her mouth. He then decides that he should be the leader, and traps Rita and Zedd in a snow globe. (I want that snow globe.) He creates some Tengu, and sends them to Phaedos to stop the Rangers from getting to the Great Power. He also plans to recruit the parents of Angel Grove to do something. Why the parents... I have no idea. I guess there are no childless adults in Angel Grove.

We are 33 minutes in, and the plot has just started. Wow.

Phaedos is really pretty. I wonder what part of Australia they were filming in? It vaguely reminds me of the opening beach scene from Grease. However, there's a skeleton on the beach, and it freaks them out. And then the Tengu show up. It's been almost 10 minutes since we've had a fight scene! I love the Tengu, and this is a pretty awesome fight. Kimberly does get captured, but at least she doesn't scream for Tommy. Yet. But the Rangers are getting their asses kicked, again.

Dulcea shows up to rescue them! Leaping off a cliff, she strips off her cloak and stands there in her fan service green bikini, and does some stick twirling. The sticks make a whistling noise, which bothers all of the Tengu, and they fly off. Dulcea then starts beating on Tommy when he tries to explain that they're going after the Great Power. Aisha is smarter than he is, and she invokes Zordon's name in an attempt to negotiate, and Dulcea changes her tune instantly, deciding to help them. She leads them to the ruins of the Ninjetti temple, and I desperately want fic about how the Ninjetti temple ended up in ruins. The only one I've found is Holding True (which is awesome). My point is, there should be more.

Back on Earth, Ivan dresses up as a creepy looking wizard, and passes out jars of purple ooze to children. The ooze will somehow brainwash the parents. Look, the plan makes no sense at all. But Fred takes a jar of the ooze, and brings it home. His father drives in (and the street is empty) and opens the jar. The second he touches the ooze, he is brainwashed. He goes outside not even 15 seconds later, and the street is filled with parents. How did all of the adults get brainwashed at the same time? how come nobody noticed? Why are the citizens of Angel Grove so filled with fail?

On Phaedos, Dulcea begins the ceremony, and in a burst of sparkles, the Rangers transform into their ninjetti outfits. Aisha is the bear, fierce and unstoppable. (This is totally true, Aisha is such a Mama Bear. Rocky is the ape, powerful and smart. (Take that, people who say Rocky isn't that smart! Although I'm surprised the smart thing didn't go to Billy.) Billy is instead the wolf, cunning and swift. Kimberly is the crane, and she only gets one trait. She's agile. Okay then!

BUT ADAM. Oh, Adam. He looks so disappointed. Because he is a FROG. And I love him and seriously, it is my favorite part of the movie. I'm so glad the director let JYB adlib that, because it is without a doubt the most memorable line of the movie. Anyway, Dulcea kisses Adam, and tells him he's a handsome prince, and then the universe wrote a million Adam/Dulcea fics. Which I don't actually ship, but I understand where it's coming from! Oh, ADAM. Anyway, basically that is my favorite scene from the movie, and the first PR icon I ever had. *points*

Oh, right. Tommy is the Falcon, the winged lord of the skies. Whatever that means. Dulcea tells them she isn't going with them, and then she turns herself into an owl. It's time.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Episode 111 - Wild West Rangers Part 2

Okay, let me get this out of the way first. This episode is filled with history fail and time travel fail and science fail, but I don't care. I love it so much. *draws millions of little hearts*

Previously, on Power Rangers - Kimberly is sent back in time in a ridiculously skimpy outfit, and I appreciate it a lot.

The episode opens with Kimberly and the Wild West Rangers confronting Goldar. Goldar welcomes them to Zedd & Ritaville, and I spend the rest of the episode singing Wasting away again in Zedd&Ritaville. (Some people claim that there's a Ranger to blame, but I know that it's Goldar's fault.)

For some reason the director chose to focus the shot on Kimberly's legs. I don't know what chose that particular artistic direction, but more power to the director. *shallow*

There's a particularly awesome fight, but sadly the Putties have all lost their horses. We guess the horses... ran away? Were scared by the fish? But they still have their hats and boots and vests, so it is a particularly great fight. And Kimberly morphs! We're not really sure how she managed to morph, because last time they got sent to the past, they couldn't morph. I'm guessing that maybe Zordon updated their morphers in the present after they got back from 17whatever? It doesn't really matter, because this episode is so filled with fish that it's way more fun to just smile, nod, and plot ridiculous AUs. (Ask me how the White Stranger is secretly the father of Jack from Newsies. Go on, I dare you.)

While Kimberly is fighting the Putties, One-Eye Bulk and Doc Skullivitch are escaping from jail. Well, they're trying, anyway. Bulk is stuck between the bars, because the show hasn't had a fat joke for a while. But then they see Kim, and decide that they will become famous by figuring out the identity of the Pink Stranger! (Um, really? New person in weird clothes comes to town? It isn't that hard.)

Kimberly teleports off to 1880s!Zordon, who has no idea that Angel Grove was being invaded. He... is not very good at this watching thing. But, it doesn't matter, because Kimberly has a plan! She tells Zordon she knows that Rita has the Green Coin, but she isn't sure what's with the other coins. Alpha tells her that they have them. According to Zordon, too much pink energy is dangerous (because Kim is just that awesome) but the other four coins can be used. That is...an awesome plan! You go, Kimberly!

Back in the future, there's some technobabble about chronitons or something, that will allow the Rangers to search the past to see Kim. They find Bulk and Skull first, and are amused at how similar past!them are to present!Bulk and Skull. (Bulk and Skull's grand plan involves pulling a diving rod out of Skull's ass.) And then they find Kim, who is giving the Power Coins to Rocko, William, Abraham and Miss Alicia. Zordon tells them that those teenagers are the first Earthlings to hold the Power Coins.

I am saying it right now, Kimberly created an alternate reality. All that's missing is Tommy randomly being evil with a beard. (Although if someone would like to write that AU, I would read it.)

The present!Rangers are suitably impressed, and Billy says "Prodigious" and both of us geek out. We missed Billy's dorkiness!

Back in 1880whatever, Kimberly and the Wild West Rangers are going through town. The awesome!Putties show up, and Rocky calls them VARMINTS. And I think it's about at this point that I'm just dead of laughter, which will continue to the end of the episode. The Wild West Rangers do pretty well for themselves - Rocky fights with a wash basin, Adam and Aisha dance, and Billy dodges, while Kimberly just kicks ass. (Billy doesn't believe in fisticuffs! ♥)

I... kinda ship past!Abraham/Miss Alicia. Except I ship Adam/Aisha, so that is just not working for me. But it would be SO CUTE and totally acceptable if this is completely AU, and someone should be writing this immediately.

Things are not going as well as it could, and then suddenly... It's the White Stranger! He shows up and is pretty ridiculous, and I am actually incredibly charmed by him in this episode. (Although that might be the champagne talking, IDEK.)

Kimberly grins at Goldar and tells him its time. William asks for what, and she yells that it's morphin time!

There are not enough words to express how awesome the 1880s costumes are. It is just so.... delightfully bad western movie. I'm completely and utterly charmed by it. And Adam and Aisha dance again. They are so adorable, I love them so much.

The Wild West Rangers fight, and for some reason we don't think that Johnny Yong Bosch or Karan Ashley were doing the voiceovers? It really doesn't sound like them. Anyway, the Wild West Rangers manage to push Goldar, the Putties and the Monster back through the time hole, so the past is safe!

However, now they need to deal with it in the future. Billy has come up with some not!science plan that involves their communicators to bring Kimberly back, but someone needs to go fight the monster. Tommy and Rocky morph and go fight, so that Billy can continue working and... Adam and Aisha can make out? Help Billy? Something. Sadly, Rocky and Tommy need help, so Billy needs to abandon his work so that they can go help form the megazord and defeat Needlenose.

After defeating the monster, everyone is very sad, because they think they might have lost Kim. They've only got one shot with Billy's device. Which works perfectly, of course, but why does the AU where Kimberly got stuck in the past not exist? (I firmly believe that the White Stranger in this time is a descendent of the version of Tommy that stayed behind in 1770something, making Tommy his own grandfather.)

Back in the 19th Century, the Wild West Rangers talk about how exciting this all was, and William totally had a crush on Kimberly (not that I blame him.) As the White Stranger rides off, we see 19th century!Kimberly in a carriage, staring at the White Stranger with a look on her face that says "Damn, that boy is fine." Oh, show. That... is really weird. I hope that they don't hook up! Unless it's an alternate reality where this doesn't lead to the Tommy and Kimberly we know. The episode ends with the White Stranger on his horse, cheering for the Pink Ranger. Because Kimberly is awesome.

Fish: 4. AHAHAHA It is ridiculous, but I love it SO MUCH.

Billy speak: "I've adapted these communicators to advance and adapt the teleporting mechanism to create a time hole."

Fic people should write us: More of this universe, please! (Also, the one where someone is researching in the library and they come across the legend of Calamity Kim and the Wild West Rangers.)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Episode 90- Mirror of Regret

Today we see a rarity. Power Rangers, in it's natural habitat, performing the seldom observed Character Development. Come, let's observe.

So Adam and Rocky are showing off their pretty pretty talented selves. To a class of Small Children. Whom they are supposedly teaching martial arts to, except really they're just showing off and the kids do something completely different. I do like that they're all synchronized and matchy. It's cute. Anyway, one child is not so hot at the routine they're working on and he keeps bumping into the kid next to him. Despite being the same height, Slightly Chubby Boy (who is set up to look obviously chubby) insults Awkward Boy and calls him "shrimp" and "small fry". Adam and Rocky tell him to knock it off, that the kind of attitude Slightly Chubby Boy is demonstrating isn't a team attitude at all. Uh... since when is martial arts a team sport?

Adam offers to give Awkward Boy, aka Shawn, private tutelage in the park. They go off together and Adam gives him some useful advice like "feet apart". He then tells him not to let the bullies bother him, that he used to be small himself but then he grew. He really should have gone the route of there's nothing wrong with being small and then listed benefits to being small. Not all kids will grow and big and tall, and really there isn't anything wrong with being short. Anyway, there are about a million reasons NOT to pick on somebody and Adam addresses... um... none of them really.

So Awkward Boy does much better and then he heads off to the Youth Center by himself. Adam stays in the park for no discernible reason other than to be attacked by putties. You see, Zedd came up with a plan. He stalked Adam and realized he suffered from a lack of self confidence as a small child and he plans to make Adam relive all the teasing to wear him down and make him weak. So Zedd sent Goldar and a bunch of putties with the Mirror of Regret, a large mirror that shows Adam his past.

We see a terrible coach pick everybody for a team EXCEPT Tiny!Adam. We see him asking to play and other kids saying they don't want him on their team. Goldar brings Adam to his knees (and we figure it works since Jason is gone... he needed somebody to obsess over now...). We see Tiny!Adam being Emo. And so Big!Adam becomes Emo. And so it begins, the era of Emo Ranger! (not a knock, I love that Adam is Emo Ranger and he pulls it off SO WELL)

At the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull are tired from trying their martial arts from a book. They go to the bar and Ernie prompts young Shawn to abandon his homework and go show off his moves, thereby making Bulk and Skull feel like crap. They determine, however, that what they really need is MOAR SPACE. So off they go to practice.

Meanwhile, Zedd makes a monster that will laugh at all it's victims. He bases it off a laughing hyena, despite the fact that it looks nothing like a hyena, nor the skeletal structure of a hyena. It laughs like one though, and it's thematically appropriate, so I give her a pass. Zordon finally notices something is going on in Angel Grove, so he calls the other rangers, tells them what's going on with Adam, and then says they have to fight Skellerina without him. They go fight and lose horribly to... a group of putties.

Kim and Aisha manage to take out a putty together, but the rest of them seem to be doing pretty badly. Back in the park, Goldar is going to deliver the final blow to Adam by showing him Shawn and his lack of confidence. Instead, Adam sees Shawn proud of himself and sure he can do his routine. It gives Adam the strength the break the spell and regain his own confidence. He fights off the putties and then Goldar just vanishes.

Adam joins the others in the fight. Alpha has been working on a Plot Device Power Cannon and finishes it just in time for Adam to join the fight. Tommy tells him Skellerina is really powerful, yet they haven't fought her at all yet so I don't know where it came from. Alpha beams the Power Cannon to them, they all charge it up, they fire it, and it blows up Skellerina. Awesome! A non-Zord fight! We have too few of those. Zedd, pissed off his awesome plan failed so miserably, berates a groveling Goldar.

Back at the Youth Center, everyone is watching Adam and Rocky's class of Small Children do their routine. Only the class is all standing back and Shawn is the only one doing the routine. The others are in awe of his abilities and Slightly Chubby Boy apologizes for teasing him. They become friends (yeah, like THAT happens in real life). Shawn goes all doe-eyed and thanks Adam for all the help and encouragement. He's completely enamoured. Bulk and Skull come in from having practiced in the park and attempt to do their thing in the middle of the Youth Center. They knock each other over, however, and Shawn mocks them. Everybody laughs. Good job show, give an example of how bullying is bad and then turn around and bully people.

List time!
2 fish! It really was very consistent!

Billy speak: none, alas :(

Covered in food: nobody

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Episode 81 - Zedd's Monster Mash

Do you know what Saturday is? Saturday is going to be Stone Canyon Trio day! That's right, we have officially reached the point where Zack/Trini/Jason are gone, and we're going to meet their replacements, including my favorite. (Okay, so I momentarily debated asking if we could skip this episode, just so we could get to Stone Canyon earlier. I have a favorite, okay?) If Saturday's posts are filled with all caps flailing.... well, you've been warned in advanced. (Luckily for everyone, will be writing two of them.)

Anyway, it's a good thing we didn't skip this episode, because it was actually really awesome. It's Halloween again. Okay, so this is the first one that officially references Halloween, but costume parties and pumpkin themed tv shows totally scream Halloween to me. But the important thing is to talk about the costumes - Kim is a jester (so glad she's not a princess. SO GLAD), Billy is a mad scientist, and Tommy is a pirate. Ernie is a crazy 20s gangster, and Bulk and Skull are soldiers of some sort. And there are a bunch of tiny children dressed as Power Rangers. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, wouldn't you go as Power Rangers? (I would totally go as a Power Ranger now, so I may not be the most biased person in the universe. In fact, I am totally going to be the Pink Ranger this year, and nothing will stop me.)

In important things that are setting up for the Stone Canyon Trio, Billy and Kim have a discussion about the Torchwood World Peace Conference. They are both excited for it, except they worry what would happen if one of them gets selected for it. Aww, foreshadowing, so cute.

An amazing event occurs! We see the actual parent of a tiny child, who talks about how exciting it is that the teens are going to chaperone their kids on Halloween. I'm just amazed that the show is remembering that parents exist.

Up on the moon, Zedd is all excited about the holiday! It is right up his alley, except something is missing. He needs Tommy. Zedd is totally trying to beat out Goldar for the creepy obsession with the Ranger thing. Except while Goldar drove Jason off to join Torchwood, we're stuck with Tommy a while longer. So Zedd decides to throw his own Halloween party (and Baboo wants to be Little Bo Peep, which is so amazing I don't even have words for it) and invite Tommy.

Bulk and Skull show up, and for a minute we're afraid that they're going to be chaperones, but instead Bulk is going to eat some really hot candy, and then bob for apples. He then gets an apple stuck in his mouth, and we get a pig comparison, complete with sound effects, and I guess it's been a while since we've used the fatphobia tag. Thanks, show!

Zedd's plan is to have a bunch of putties turn into children and then separate Tommy from everyone else. The Putties turn into BABY RANGERS and I am overcome by the SHEER CUTE. Tommy takes them out (although I have some nitpicks about the plan. How did they know that Tommy would be the one to be assigned them? Didn't they make a point of saying that the parents had to sign the kids in and out?) but considering some of the fish that the show gives us, I really shouldn't be nitpicking.

Bulk and Skull see the tiny Rangers, and wonder if maybe the Rangers can shrink. This is so stupid I don't want to acknowledge it. However, they go around pulling off the helmets of the kids, and we see that there's a female red, and I start all capsing out of the sheer awesome. And then Bulk and Skull get covered in silly string, and honestly, they totally deserved that one.

Goldar shows up, and the putty!children turn into regular putties, and there's a fight scene. After Tommy beats them all, Goldar just teleports him to the Dark Dimension. I have no idea why they bothered with the plan and the fake children at all if Goldar could just do that. But Tommy ends up in a graveyard, and there's a really stupid new monster, and then Zedd decides to finally take our advice and just have a whole bunch of monsters. First we get the Pumpkin Rapper which means that we are totally going to subject you to this monster's horrible rhymes. Oh, and he steals Tommy's morpher.

Meanwhile, Kim and Billy have noticed that Tommy is missing, and that these children don't actually exist. Zordon hasn't bothered to call them, so they go to the Command Center and realize that yeah, he's actually been kidnapped. Again. Oh, Tommy. They manage to locate him on the viewing globe, and Billy wonders why Tommy isn't morphed. Kim immediately says it's because he's lost his Power Coin. I love that this happens often enough that Kim doesn't need to think about it. Some leader you are, Tommy!

The Pumpkin Rapper gets some allies in The Snizard (who also showed up in Island of Illusion), the Primator, the Robogoatthe Invenusable Fly Trap and the Rhinoblaster. With all these monsters, the Rangers should be doomed!

But no, because Kim and Billy show up, and they help Tommy get his morpher. Still, they're pretty outnumbered, so Alpha says that he will go and watch the children that Trini/Jason/Zack are supposedly escorting, reusing his costume excuse. So we get the shortest Zord summoning sequence in a while, yet only the Pumpkin Rapper bothers to grow. I mean, what was the point of summoning all those monsters? Oh, Zedd. You should hire us to explain the evil overlord rules to you. The Pumpkin Rapper is easily defeated, again.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull ate too much candy and everyone laughs at them.


Fish: 2.5 Mostly nitpicks. They just all added up!

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water and Bulk and Skull both get covered in silly string.

Pumpkin Rapper Speak: "maybe you did, but it's time to get sad. Because of Lord Zedd's power we're back and we're bad!"
"Hey don't play, he's getting away"
"You better just quit or you'll get hit"
"rangers this aint no play, 'cause you're going down today"
"It's so cool that is hot, rangers in a real spot?"
"I can't believe you dare to try and make this fair"
"I get bored with tinhead zords"
"that was uncool, so take this fool"
"we're going to fight to say goodnight"
"On the ground, clown."
"You brats! What's with that?"

Monday, November 9, 2009

Episode 57- Fowl Play

To start with, TSB will be going on vacation next week, so there will be no recaps. Alas.

Finally we get the Zack episode I lamented at missing due to the mislabel! Even better than that, it's a Tommy-less Zack episode! Yay!

So we start off with Angela breaking up a fight between two kids while Zack, in a stunning display of actual continuity, puts on a magic show. He's pretty good. Bulk and Skull interrupt, however, and make fools of themselves in attempting to upstage him. All while Bulk has a Twinkie in his mouth. *sigh* Zack is then really mean and surprises them with some fake snakes. Snakes. I thought he was afraid of snakes. But I guess he got over it. Or they forgot.

So Angela tells him that was brilliant (really? Seemed more mean to me...) and then kisses him on the cheek. Okay, so that part was adorable. She walks off and the other rangers walk up and make fun of Zack for it. They're kind of mean about it, but it's borderline between playful and cruel, so I'll let it slide. Jason seems somewhat jealous and tells Zack not to do anything that he wouldn't do and we're left with the unsaid "Like kiss a girl" hanging in the air. They go to the park and Zack stays behind to hit on Angela. Meanwhile, Rita also seems to want to get in on the Zack action and swears she'll show him what a real peck on the cheek is like. Man, Zack is quite the hot commodity here!

In the park, Jason says something about putty and suddenly they are surrounded by putties. Kim poses a lot, Jason has very pretty arms, Trini is awesome, and David Yost is very pretty and obviously a gymnast.

Moving on, Angela asks Zack why he never told her he was so good with kids and Ernie's reaction to his response is PRICELESS. Zack says he doesn't like to brag and Ernie nearly chokes on his drink and walks away mumbling about how something has affected his hearing. Hehehhe. Angela tries to ask him out and Ernie keeps trying to get his attention. They finally look over and there is a news report about a giant monster bird thing attacking downtown. Ernie clearly knows Zack is a power ranger. The kids all gather 'round and Zack reassures them, but they don't look all that worried actually. One little girl says she's not worried because she knows the power rangers will save them. Awwwww.

So in order to get away, Zack has the brilliant (actually so, this time) plan to have Bulk make him disappear. It's awesome and works, except he's really mean and tells Bulk the magic words are "Iamag Oon" so when he says it, Bulk calls him a goon. Douchebag of the Day awarded to Zack! Grrr.

So Zack disappears and Zordon calls him with impeccable timing just as he reaches the hallway and is completely out of sight and earshot. He ends up having to fight the bird monster by himself because the others are tied up with the putties... still. We discover the monster's name is the Peckster. And I spend approximately five minutes giggling. The Peckster (teehee) runs away undefeated and Zack goes to the Command Center, where he discovers he must go back to the Youth Center because the (completely calm and not at all worried) children need him. Um... okay then.

So he gets back just in time for Bulk, who has up to this point refused to say "Zack" lest he bring him back from whence he sent him (where he saw lots of beans, I'm sure), get goaded into saying "Zack". One kid was very pouty. Everybody oohs and ahs as if it were real magic. Even the adults/teens. Mmkay.

At the part the putties disappear and the rangers go to the Command Center. They have to go fight the Peckster (teehee) and are told Zack will join them when he can and Tommy will not be called, lest his powers fail. And that is blissfully the only mention we get of him this episode.

So they're fighting, and the kids and Zack are watching on the tv, and Zack spies a bunch of balloons. Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend is sure the power rangers will save the day and Zack, in reassuring him (why? he was fine), spies some balloons. He sees Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend's black ball and gets an idea.

He teleports, morphed, into the fight and somehow talks the Peckster (teehee) into popping all the balloons in his hand. The last one, a black one, is really the ball in disguise (that looks nothing like a ball until the bird goes after it and then it looks nothing like a balloon) and the Peckster (teehee) gets his beak stuck. Oh show. I just. Okay, I'll be honest. I dissolved into audible fits of giggles and missed a lot of the ensuing fight. Because the Peckster gets his mouth stuck on a ball. I'm still giggling.

Basically, the Peckster grows (guffaw!), the zords are summoned, we see two things we've never seen before and will never see again (the Mammoth Shield and some laser that comes out of their head), and then the Power Sword Saves Them All. Again. Per usual. Whatever. Oh, and somewhere in there Zack gives a motivational speech about not giving up. I was still too busy laughing. Sorry.

Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend says the black power ranger used his head before his fists, JUST LIKE ZACK, and clearly this is a very smart Inappropriately Young Friend. Clearly he, like Ernie, knows Zack is the black ranger.

Later, Zack comes in all dressed up. He cleans up nice! It's a goofy suit and he even manages to make it look good! He's got grand plans to take Angela out for dinner and dancing, but she shows up with a gaggle of kids and tells him they're going to a 5 hour Woody Woodpecker review at the local cinema. Zack is upset, obviously, but goes along. We also discover I'm apparently the only person in the world who, as a tiny child, would have gladly sat through 5 hours of Woody Woodpecker. What? I loved him! And Underdog. Don't judge me!

List time!
4.5 fish. It was ridiculous, I'm sorry! It managed to both do a massive call back continuity nod AND ignore continuity altogether at the same time! But at least it was AWESOMELY ridiculous!

Billy speak: "What an effusive display of affection."

"Look at the abundance of feathers on that overstuffed ornith!"

Covered in food: Nobody!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Episode 56 - Enter the Lizzinator

At this point we've given up going by the order as posted, and we're just going by the way these episodes are on our shiny dvd sets. So even though this episode claims it is Fins and Needles, we're actually watching a Cheerleading episode.

So, we start off watching tryouts for the Angel Grove Junior High Cheerleading Squad. A random redhead is being focused on (I approve of all random redheads, just for the record) and wow, they are such bad cheerleaders. The cheer itself is horrible, and they also all suck. The random redhead sucks more than the rest of them, and ends up being late for the final word. Awkward. The random redhead turns out to also be a random relative. She is, in fact, Kimberly's cousin. Raise your hand if you're surprised that Kimberly was a cheerleader. Anyone? Bueller?

Apparently Kimberly was so awesome, that the Junior High still talks about her a few years later. So is Kimberly still cheering now, or did she quit when she got to high school, and honestly, who cares about Middle School Cheerleaders anyway? Perhaps Angel Grove High just doesn't have cheerleaders because a) they only have one teacher, so there's nobody to coach the cheerleading squad, and b) martial arts competitions don't have cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita decides what her life is lacking is her own personal cheerleader. So instead of capturing a good cheerleader, she decides to go after Kelly. Personally, I feel she should have just trained Squatt and Baboo.

Anyway, Random Relative (Kelly) is all sad that she is not as awesome as Kimberly, and Kim offers to help her. Kim is actually pretty lousy at cheerleading herself, honestly. Plus, when you teach these things you're supposed to mirror the person, so no wonder Kelly is messing up. Kelly gets frustrated and runs away.

Ernie asks Jason (and hi there, Jason's arms!) to go pick up a delivery across town, since some truck broke down. I hope you're paying him for that, Ernie. Or is Jason just trying to work off everyone's bill? That probably makes more sense.

Kimberly and Tommy find Kelly at the playground, and Kimberly gives what I assume is supposed to be an inspiring speech, while Tommy stands around looking creepy. Then they get attacked by putties, and I'm pretty sure we spent the whole fight scene discussing how I still think Kimberly's fashion sense is awesome. Just as the fight ends, Squatt and Baboo kidnap Kelly, and drag her off to the cave of captivity. Kimberly and Tommy forget they have communicators, and they run over to the Youth Center to get Zack, Trini and Billy.

Meanwhile, Jason is picking up Ernie's delivery, when he gets attacked by the Lizzinator. At first we're totally confused as to why he's called the Lizzinator, and then he starts to talk. It's actually a Terminator joke, or really a governator joke. Oh, show. Sometimes I love you so much. (The monster still looks nothing like a lizard. Seriously.) Anyway, the monster beats Jason up, and then tells him it was too easy, and maybe more Rangers will present more of a challenge, and then he runs away.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them that the Lizzinator is incredibly powerful, and Alpha presents Billy with a grocery scanner readout that says that the monster is really powerful. Nothing can penetrate its skin. Kimberly is all upset because apparently if they can't defeat it, they'll never find Kelly. Also, if they can't defeat it, then Rita will, you know, take over the world. I feel that Kimberly's priorities are skewed. Tommy says he'll go with them to fight, but they suddenly all remember that Tommy's powers are limited. Continuity! It's a miracle!

They go to the Inexplicably Abandoned Rock Quarry, and there are a lot of putties. Including a driving!putty, and we start talking about how probably thinks this scene is awesome. However, we've also decided that it would be even better if it was a driving!pumpkinhead!putty. This should happen. Plus, the driving!putty punches Jason in the face. This is hilarious to us.

Anyway, Jason is getting beaten up, when Tommy shows up to save his boyfriend, even though Jason is all "no! you're so weak!" and then Jason promptly swoons. Booooooooyfriends. (I only find Tommy tolerable when he's dating Adam Jason.) There's a fight, and other things, but honestly, I'm not so much in this for the fight scenes. Oh, and at some point they summon Zords, the Dragonzord gets thrown around in a way that made us start yelling about how physics doesn't work like that (The Lizzinator held the DragonZord completely upright over his head by gripping the end of his tail), and eventually the Rangers summon Titanus and win. At least it wasn't just the power sword this time.

In the Cave of Captivity, Kelly is just sitting on a rock, thinking of what Kimberly would do. She remembers that Kimberly told her to have faith in herself, and comes up with a plan. Um, I am fairly sure that Kimberly was talking about cheerleading, not fighting monsters. Idiot child! Kelly's grand plan involves writing the worst cheer ever and teaching it to Squatt and Baboo, who are talking about cheeseburgers. It is even worse than the Pumpkin Rapper. (Okay, not quite. But it is close.) Along with teaching them a cheer (that doesn't rhyme) about how Rita always loses to the Power Rangers, Kelly makes them spin around repeatedly, and they get dizzy. Squatt and Baboo then teleport out of the cave, leaving Kelly alone.

Now that Kelly is safe, the Rangers show up, and Kelly is very unenthusiastic about being rescued. Seriously, kid, I would be milking this for weeks! But no, she's just all "oh, hi there!" Maybe she knows that Kimberly is a Ranger and she doesn't want to look dorky in front of her cousin.

Then the episode ends. It was pretty good!

... Okay, that isn't actually what happened. What happens next is that the episode veers straight into high fish territory. Even though the tryouts were supposed to be that same afternoon, everyone is wearing different clothes. A group is doing a cheer, and then it's Kelly's turn. She doesn't cheer, but she instead does a dance, so I have no idea why she was practicing the cheer anyway, since all she had to do was dance.

Kimberly and Kelly are both horrible to Bulk and Skull, and there's more fatphobia, and I cannot even deal.


Fish: If it had ended before the last few minutes, I would have given it 2, maybe 2.5 because of the ridiculous monster name. But since the last few minutes happened, it's being bumped up to a 4.

Fanart that needs to exist: Squatt and Baboo: I can has cheezburger?

Friday, October 16, 2009

Episode 49- Return of an Old Friend Part 1

So it's Parents Day... at the Youth Center? This appears to be a school function but isn't being held at school. Okay then. Jason's dad loses arm wrestling to Trini's dad. Billy's dad informs us that Billy is running late because he's busy with an experiment. Zack's dad is a nerd and his mom is adorable. Meanwhile, Skull is documenting Parents Day. Bulk and his entire family, overweight mom skinny dad, come in a little late. They appear to crash into the Youth Center, startling Ernie, who then sits down on a table and sends a cake flying. Of course, Bulk and his parents get covered in cake.

Kim's mom and step-dad show up looking for Kim, Kim's dad then walks in, and a random blonde girl says Kim is outside. Trini goes to get her.

Rita has come up with an awesome plan! She will kidnap the parents and expects the rangers to surrender in order to get their parents back. This is actually a good plan and I can see how it just might work.

Trini finds Kim outside all upset and worried about her mom and dad being there together. She doesn't think her dad will show up at all, but Trini reassures her they're both inside looking for her. Putties attack just as they have a touching moment. Zordon actually notices for a change and contacts Jason and Zack, who rush outside to help while Alpha contacts Billy.

I have to stop here and wonder something. There are massive windows on the Youth Center and nobody notices the rangers outside fighting? Ever?

Rita sends her Drammolemonster to tunnel under the Youth Center. It kidnaps all the parents.

Billy shows up late and wonders where everyone is. The floor cracks and smoke comes out, putting Billy under a spell. Rita tells him to bring her the Dragon Dagger, so he teleports to the Command Center. Billy is HAWT when he's evil (he calls Alpha "a poor excuse for a transistor radio"!) He takes the dagger and leaves to get it to Rita in the dark dimension.

The others finally notice their parents are missing. Jason contacts Zordon immediately! With the communicator! He remembered!!!!!! Way to go, Jason! They teleport to the Command Center and start flipping out. Zordon tells them to calm down and that their parents are safe for now. Trini asks about Billy and Zordon tells them he's under a spell, deactivated Alpha, and stole the Dragon Dagger. Trini reactivates Alpha, despite her uncertainty at her ability to do so.

They morph and go after Billy in the dark dimension. Goldar is there and taunts them, then sends putties after them. How in the world were they able to just teleport in like that? I thought this was supposed to be some kind of inescapable prison that they always manage to escape from after twenty minutes of angsting? Billy falls down and Goldar steps over him, not even taking the dagger. He's apparently trying to get to Jason, but Zack gets in the way, then Jason finally reaches him. They do seem to continue that unhealthy obsession with each other. Billy watches it all.

Goldar takes the dagger and the spell is broken. Billy freaks out, Jason reassures him, and Goldar mocks them. He then tells them they have until an hourglass runs down to hand over their power coins to get their parents back. They all manage to leave the dark dimension just as easily as they got in. Way to fail at inescapable prisons!

Goldar calls the DragonZord with the dagger. They summon Zords. We get the MegaZord. It's a freakishly long Zord sequence. They start to fight the DragonZord, run out of power, and then get thrown from the MegaZord pretty much immediately. That... was fast... and made no sense. Mmkay then. Goldar tells them to turn over their coins or lose their parents forever.

They contact Zordon, but he says he can't tell them what to do. Fail as a mentor! So they all hand over their coins, fearing for the safety of their parents. Did nobody stop to think that without the protection of the Power Rangers, everybody in Angel Grove would pretty much die anyway? Poor Billy feels incredibly guilty. Jason sounds medical-attention worthy constipated when he tells Goldar to give them their parents back. Goldar refuses, shuts the box, and leaves. Why are they so surprised? It's not like he's a truthful, trustworthy, honourable monster.

Zordon teleports them all to the Command Center and they have another little angsty freak out. Kim says Goldar has all the power coins and now what will they do? Jason says "Not all of them" and holds out the Green Ranger coin. We get a shot of Tommy walking into the Youth Center wondering where everyone is.

And then that wonderful "To Be Continued" flashes over a freeze-frame of Tommy.

List time!

4 fish. Just because of severe lack of logic.

Covered in food: Bulk, his mother, and his father

Episode 47- Reign of the Jellyfish

This episode made no sense. And it's not because we watched it at 8:30am because I've been up for hours and already had my caffeine. The episode... just didn't make sense. This would have been a beer-worthy episode. Except it's 8:30 in the morning.


So we start the episode with Ms. Applebee standing by a giant clear plastic ball. It's apparently a time capsule they will be burying. She has asked everyone to bring something to put in the time capsule. I'm trying to remember they're in high school here, but I'm failing at that.

Jason puts in a trophy. He says something about it representing physical fitness or strength or whatever? But I totally miss it because I'm so distracted by his arms. His very pretty pretty arms. Kim puts in a pink shirt to represent individuality and fashion. Ms. Applebee puts in a picture of the Power Rangers. We don't know where this picture comes from, but apparently they just pose for cameras at random with the power weapons? It's special. Anyway, moving on, we find out Zack is putting in a cd of music, Billy is putting in a personal computer he designed with all the latest software (so they can see how advanced their technology was... but by the time they dig the capsule up, it will be horribly outdated), and Trini puts in the newspaper from the day. The newspaper is called the Angel Grove Clarion, just for future reference.

Then Bulk and Skull come in. They want to put a sandwich in the time capsule. Not just any sandwich, but a special sandwich they call the Bulkwich. Nobody points out that said sandwich would be rotted, disgusting, and contaminate everything else in the time capsule. Instead they just laugh when Skull squirts mayonnaise all over Bulk. Ugh.

Meanwhile, Rita, who stalks the rangers and knows everything, wants Squatt and Baboo to go down and steal the time capsule so they can put a picture of her in it. She wants to be immortalized too. She also commands Finster make her a monster and he decides the Jellyfish will be a good one for this occasion.

Back at the *ahem* high school, Billy informs the girls they have the highest grades in the class so the five of them get to bury the time capsule. Are we surprised? Not really. They go to the park and find the designated location for burial, made obvious by the large sign on a pole in the ground that says "Time Capsule Here" with an arrow pointing down. There are no reporters, no teachers, no adults present at all. Nobody is documenting this time capsule burial in any way, shape, or form. Which is very convenient since they then get attacked by putties. David Yost really shines in this fight and he does some awesome moves with a shovel in hand. He was almost enough to distract me from the glory that is Jason's arms. Almost.

Squatt and Baboo get the time capsule and take a look inside. Apparently the very preppy, very pink shirt Kim put in is considered "grunge". Um. No. I was grunge. That wasn't grunge. Moving on, they start to take the capsule away but get confronted by the rangers. They freak out, drop the time capsule, and teleport away

Rita has sent down the Jellyfish monster thing which does not even remotely resemble a jellyfish. Zordon finally notices something is amiss in Angel Grove and calls the rangers. Way to be late to the party, Zordon. Though the rangers just went back to burying the time capsule and didn't bother to contact Zordon themselves after being attacked by putties and Squatt and Baboo trying to steal the time capsule, so this is an all around everybody communication fail.

We recognize the voice of Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and discover he's the same voice as the Cardiotron, Eye Guy, King Sphinx, as well as a bunch of others we haven't gotten to yet.

They go straight to the Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and discover he can spit venom that goes straight through their suits. They go immediately to the Command Center but it's okay because Alpha, in the five nanoseconds between realizing he could penetrate the suits and the rangers showing up, has created a coating for the suits that will keep out the toxin. Well okay then! Perhaps he lives in his own little time warp. Or something.

They go BACK to the Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and he now has a bunch of Super Putties helping him out. They do an alright job fighting, but Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish uses an umbrella (a pretty little pink one to boot) to deflect the weapons. Yes, an umbrella. To deflect weapons. But wait, dear readers, it gets BETTER!

Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish SPINS the umbrella and sends the rangers to an alternate dimension! That's right, he can somehow do that. Did I mention he can teleport around too? What can't this monster do? Except look like an actual jellyfish, of course.

So they're in this alternate dimension and they are confronted with a see-through non-corporeal version of Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish. He can hit them, though. Even though he's non-corporeal. Nod and smile, dear readers. We did. A lot. So Billy theorizes that Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish is actually time fazed and tells Zack to hit him with his canon. We don't know why this is supposed to work, it just is. And so Zack does. By doing so, everybody is pulled out of the alternate dimension. Fishy fish looks-nothing-like-a-fish!

Rita makes him grow, they call the Zords, and they fight for a bit. Then they call the MegaZord. Then they fight for a bit. Then they win. Surprised? Yeah, neither are we.

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie rewards the rangers with five cold glasses of something to drink, on the house, because they worked hard to bury the time capsule. Bulk and Skull come running in with a very large sandwich, apparently the Bulkwich. They've finally finished making it, but Jason informs them the capsule has already been buried. Still nobody mentions rotted food. In disappointment, Bulk and Skull drop the sandwich on their heads and then get in a food fight. Everybody laughs.

The rangers hope for a future free of war, crime, prejudice, and a bunch of other stuff that is very noble, but not likely to happen... though I certainly wish I could live in the Star Trek Utopia. And that's the end of that.

List time!

4 fish, solid. It was just... it made no sense.

Because we are recapping during the day right now, Emo Kid is around and watching. This episode gets a special Emo Kid Rating of "fun".

No Billy speak really.

Covered in food: Bulk in mayonnaise and then Bulk and Skull in sandwich.

Fic we want to read: SPD traveling from New Tech City to Angel Grove (can't be that far away, they both suffer from geography making no sense) to dig up the time capsule. Hilarity should ensue.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Episode 45- Crystal of Nightmares

Just a note: We were previously using the Ranger Central episode list and they have just recently updated their order. We were out of order. So now we're trying to get it back in sync. Oh, and I has a TSB! In person! At my place of residence! So this is LIVE capping. :D

So we're up to Crystal of Nightmares now. The best part of this episode is the homoerotic pillow fight between Jason, Zack, and Billy. Aw, boys.

So we start off with Trini and Kim stressing over an upcoming major science test. Billy, Jason, and Zack, however, are relaxed and have sly smiles. They've plotted something. Cheating off Billy perhaps? They certainly look like they have nefarious plans. But no, actually it's just that Billy's uncle has given them use of two of his cabins for the weekend and the rangers are going to spend all of it studying. (TSB says "studying" is clearly code for something else.)

Bulk and Skull snoop on the rangers and then get covered in bird poop. It's more than a little disgusting.

So they go up to the cabin and spend some time lounging around studying. Eventually they decide to take a break and have dinner. The show FAILS by having Jason want a big burger, Trini want Chinese food, and Kim requesting only a salad. Way to stereotype, show! Zack throws us for a loop by asking if they can have liver. Liver? Really?

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull dress up in drag and put on maid uniforms to sneak into the rangers rooms. They're looking for the science notes. Bulk starts digging through bags while Skull actually cleans. We learn Bulk is allergic to dust, and then the rangers come back. Bulk and Skull hide under Jason's bed. The boys bid the girls goodnight (immediately after dinner? What are you, two?) and then Zack shows off. He dances. For Billy and Jason. It can only be described as he's putting on quite a show for his boyfriends. Billy sits with a pillow on his lap (ahem ahem) and then throws it at Zack. The most homoerotic pillow fight ensues. It's spectacular.

Then they all just... go to bed. We can't complain too much, however, because Zack is wearing the tiniest of tiny shirts and Jason is shirtless. Mmmmboys. I, uh, could pause it right there for awhile. But alas, the recap must go on, despite the pretty pretty boys (and Jason's really nice arms).

Goldar is in a cave while everyone sleeps and he's using the Crystal of Nightmares, all glowy and covered in lightning, to give the rangers nightmares. He's going to use the nightmares to take away the confidence of all the rangers. Although we question the viability of this plan. I mean, Billy never really had self confidence in the first place? But okay, we'll go with it, because we're still happy about the homoerotic pillow fight. Though we are forcibly reminded of the Mirror of Regret. Yes, we know it technically hasn't happened yet in canon. We don't care. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. Nod and smile.

The nightmares consist of flashbacks. Billy flashes back to the Terror Toad. Zack flashes back to his birthday and the Nasty Knight. Kim dreams about being trapped in a bottle during her Really Bad Day (but at least they cut out her screaming for Tommy). Jason's nightmare is being trapped in the dark dimension where Goldar did inappropriate things to him. Trini's nightmare is the rangers getting covered in something that looks like silly string and we cannot for the life of us figure out which episode it's from. Any ideas?

Bulk and Skull, meanwhile, are asleep under Jason's bed and they dream about being food-related superheroes (enough with the fatphobia show) and they pilot the MegaZord. Then they crash. And somehow this is a nightmare.

Then all the rangers have a communal dream that Zordon takes their powers away. They freak out and in the morning they act as if they're still terrified. Kim is even hesitant to open the door for the boys. You would think they'd all be relieved to wake up and realize it was just dreams? But apparently not. Zordon, now that it's morning, FINALLY notices Goldar is using the Crystal of Nightmares. Zordon!Fail! He contacts the rangers and tells them the only way to regain their confidence is to destroy the crystal. They all freak out and he teleports them to the cave anyway. We get the shot from my icon (aw, icon!) and then they all have to fight a bunch of putties. They suck. It's like Day of the Dumpster all over again.

Billy cops a feel on Trini and then Jason runs for the mouth of the cave. He gets in and is confronted by Goldar. He fights him and manages to destroy the crystal and suddenly they're all confident again. That's it? Really? Wow was that easy. Although I won't complain too much because Jason looks really good in that shot. Austin St. John? You were a very attractive young man.

They beat the putties and then Goldar and Scorpina go after them. They don't even get a hit in before Rita makes them grow and then we get yet another extremely long Zord summoning sequence. They get their asses handed to them but then Jason calls on the Power Sword and, withing two or three hits, Goldar and Scorpina go running.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are awoken by the real maid and they start screaming because it's time for the test. They take off at a run and then we see everybody the following day. Mrs. Applebee is sick so Principal Caplan is handing out the graded tests. Seriously, Angel Grove High, hire another teacher okay? Having two AND a principal won't kill you, I promise.

The rangers all get A's, of course, and then Bulk and Skull get called to the front of the classroom. Principal Caplan humiliates them in front of the entire class by showing everybody their F's. He then gives them detention forever. Um... wow. If any staff member did that to MY kid, I'd take it to the highest authority I had to in order to get an apology and action taken against said staff member. That's just not okay. But we're supposed to think it is, and then Bulk sneezes and blows off Principal Caplan's toupee. Oh show. Fail a little harder.

List time!
2.5 fish. It was overall relatively consistent, but we couldn't identify Trini's nightmare episode, Billy never HAD self confidence in the first place, and then the outrageous behaviour of Principal Caplan in regards to Bulk and Skull.

Billy speak: none really... he had a few lines that were borderline, but nothing I considered overly intellectual.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in bird poop, which isn't food, but it had to go somewhere. Ew.