Episode 349 - From Deep in the Shadows

Power Rangers Megaforce on Saturday at 1 pm on Nick! You've all seen the promos, right? RIGHT? Because if not, you should go watch them immediately.

Anyway! We are up to the start of the best part of Lightspeed. (Yes, yes, feel free to argue with me. But I love this!) And this was the part of the season that actually made me interested in LR the first time I was watching. In fact, this was the only part I watched on TV when it was originally airing. (And the kids I babysat for totally had it on tape, and I watched it a lot with them. Priorities, I have them.)

So! Today, on Power Rangers, we get the first of the US only Power Rangers! Titanium Ranger, here we come!

We start at the Aquabase, where Joel is late again. Carter is being hooked up to all sorts of devices, including a new morpher, and everything is Super Serious. And Carter looks super hot. (Totally relevant.)

Carter dramatically touches the morpher and calls out "Titanium Power!" and then we get all sorts of wacky mad science effects, and he appears to be in pain, and show, if you'd like to linger more on his face, I'd be okay with that. Anyway, he manages to sustain a morph for a second, and everyone is super concerned about him. (Also, look, I know its the US's first time trying to design suits, but that thing is FUGLY.)

Later, Captain Mitchell and Ms. Fairweather discuss whether to continue testing the Titanium Powers. Ms. Fairweather says its too powerful for an ordinary human. Captain Mitchell agrees, but says it would have been fantastic. He then locks the morpher up in a safe.

Then, we get a dramatic shot of him staring at a photograph, and then Dana brings in a birthday cake! They have the most adorable relationship. We then find out that she has a big brother who would have been 20 today, and they blow out the candles in his honor, and I have ALL THE FEELINGS. Dana says that they wish for the same thing - that the car crash had never happened and that Ryan was still there. Captain Mitchell has a sad, and then says his wish is that Dana always knows that he loves her. BEST FATHER AND DAUGHTER EVER.

Then we get a series of jaws sound effects, and someone comes into the base. DUN DUN DUN. Everything is very dark and ominous. The mystery person makes their way through the base, and into the Captain's office. He breaks into the safe (and really, you leave the keys in a drawer? Without doing anything else?) and also glares at the photo of Captain Mitchell with his two children. Mystery person takes the morpher!

In the morning, Vypra is all "and now we destroy Mariner Bay!" and stuff starts blowing up. The Lightspeed team goes to investigate, and they start fighting. (She would be so much better if she just didn't speak. I'm sorry, but the actress is.... so not good.) The team threatens her, and then she's like "Fuck y'all, have the TITANIUM RANGER." His appearance is super dramatic and fucking AWESOME, even if that is still the ugliest suit design.

Evil!Ranger is all "I'm your worst nightmare" and the Captain finally realizes the morpher has been stolen. Sorry, Captain Awesome, you lost some points there for failure.

Anyway, evil!Ranger kicks their asses and its an absolutely great fight, and all American footage! I CANNOT STRESS HOW AWESOME I THINK THIS IS. Anyway, evil Ranger turns their weapons against them, and EVERYTHING HERE IS SO GREAT. Evil!Ranger has a great evil laugh. I APPROVE SO HARD.

Captain Awesome orders them to retreat, and the team does. Everyone is all "WTF."

Back on the base, everyone is so confused as to what is going on. The Captain tells them they need to get the power back and fast. Meanwhile, the villains are being all smug about how they're going to win. Either the Rangers will be destroyed, or they will run, and either way they get the city. Diabolico is so happy to get his homeland back.

Later, in the city, everyone keeps repeating that its too quiet. And then Chad notices something weird, because he is the smartest.  Evil Ranger is back, and we get a gratuitous ass shot (not that I'm complaining) and when asked who he is, the Titanium Ranger says "it doesn't matter any more." BECAUSE HE HAS ISSUES AND I LOVE HIM.

They fight again, Titanium continues to win, and SERIOUSLY, HAVE I STRESSED HOW AWESOME THIS IS? Ms. Fairweather is busy creating something, and she says she hasn't finished testing it, but sends it out anyway. New toys! The V Lancers! They look ridiculous, but whatever. With the new toy they start to win the fight. The toys do a few new things, and they shoot him and he gets knocked down, but he gets up again. And the helmet opens, and we see that he's human, and Captain Mitchell let's out a "no."

The Rangers are about to shoot him, when Captain Mitchell orders them not to fire. Everyone is like "but we can get him!" and he tells them again not to shoot. And then the captain is all "please don't shoot." The team leaves, even though Titanium is all "I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET."

The Rangers are all "WTF, Captain." And then he says "because he's my son."

Oh, Dana, what a way to find out that your brother is alive.

SERIOUSLY, HOW IS THIS SO GREAT??????

Fish: 1.5 THIS IS SO GREAT. (But seriously, that is the worst security EVER.)

Episode 224 - Passing the Torch - Part 2

After an actual decent cliffhanger (Seriously, why wasn't THIS the cliffhanger episode instead of the boring one?) the three park Rangers morph (and Tanya gets to say it, which is seriously so awesome) and Adam temporarily defeats the monster by throwing water on him.

Cassie and TJ have come to Kat's rescue and they are so ridiculously awesome, I can't even stand it. The other Rangers show up and get the rest of the Pirahnatrons out of the way, and convince TJ and Cassie to leave, while TJ practically has a fangasm and Cassie is all concerned about Kat.

Meanwhile, Tommy is all tied up and suspended (and I approve so hard), while Mama D opens up the Vortex of Eternal Doom and Sorrow. UM, HOW AWESOME IS MAMA D? I love that she's clearly the head of the family and when Divatox is all "I think I hear Dad in there" she's just all "He asked for it." I would frankly read millions of words about the crazy awesome of Mama D. (And seriously, I love that all the villains in power this season are women. Rita was great, but we never saw her MOM.) So Divatox leaves Tommy suspended over the Vortex with rats chewing through the ropes. Oh, honey, no, haven't you ever read the villain handbook? Don't just leave him there to swing, just THROW HIM IN.

Dimitria is telling the other Rangers some nonsense about time running out and their most important mission ever, and nope, still can't find Tommy. They go fight the monster that's apparently recharged since Adam threw water on it.

TJ is telling Cassie about how he wanted to be a Ranger when he was a kid, and our brains start to hurt from timeline issues. We eventually decided that he was either a) talking about from when the Aquitians were there or b) meant when he was a kid he wanted to be a superhero and then just changed it to Power Rangers when he was like 12. Cassie wanted to be Tina Turner instead. TJ discovers a trail of slime, and assumes it leads to Tommy, but Cassie is all "Nope, bus. Sorry." Of course, she promptly comes back to kick some ass and save him, because she is awesome, and her parents told her never to leave a friend behind, and they're friends now, right? I SHIP THEM SO HARD.

Meanwhile, in Angel Grove, Adam and Tanya (morphed) tell Carlos and Ashley to get all the kids to safety. For some reason the Youth Center has cots set up in it. I guess in case the battle extends into the night or something? Maybe this is how the Youth Center makes its money - it gets a stipend from the city for being a monster shelter.

TJ and Cassie then go rescue Tommy!!!! Because they are awesome and wonderful and I love them. (Suddenly, Cassie is totally going "... why did my bus ticket just magically change itself to Angel Grove?") Tommy thanks them and then goes and morphs and the Rangers all beat the monster and seriously, the Zord fight is not the important thing about this episode.

Because back at the Power Chamber time is running out. We're assuming this is the countdown until the first of the Rangers has to leave for college or something. But more importantly, Zordon and the REAL Alpha are there to see them off!

Tommy passes his power to TJ, Kat passes hers to Cassie, Tanya to Ashley, and Adam to Carlos.

You know us. We're usually not the best with power transfers, as in usually we spend the whole recap complaining about it. But this time we were all "YAY IT'S TJ AND CASSIE DAY!!!!!!" And it isn't because we don't love the characters who were leaving - hi, Adam is my FAVORITE EVER and Tanya is in my top 5. But the dynamic of the Turbo team really just didn't work. And besides, Tommy has to go off and race cars and then get a PhD in 7 years so we can get the DT team, and Kat can go do that ballet thing, while Adam and Tanya get married and Tanya becomes super famous and Adam opens a dojo with Rocky.

So basically - YAY NEW TEAM. And I am going to thoroughly enjoy my season of Carlos/Ashley before Andros comes along.

Fish: 2! This is a good sign for the rest of the season, right?

Fic we want: Conversations with the senior rangers explaining the situation to the new team.

Episode 223- Passing the Torch Part 1

Now THIS would have been a great summer cliffhanger!

Divatox is dreaming. She gets a vision from her mother, head of the family, who lays on the guilt super thick and convinces Divatox to kidnap Tommy. Apparently she thinks without Tommy the team will fall apart. Frankly, I don't think any of them have been paying attention. Without Tommy, Adam will still lead and make all the decisions. Tanya will still have all the answers. Justin will still fix everything. And Kat will still be creepily maternal.

We meet Cassie, who is singing loudly on a bus. People from the back are heckling and TJ, sitting across from her, gets her attention and tells her she might want to quiet down a bit. She apologizes and explained how she wants to be a singer and sometimes gets carried away. TJ knows how that feels. So she's going to Stone Canyon to break into the music industry. TJ is going to Angel Grove to break into professional baseball. HOW CUTE ARE THEY? I LOVE THEM SO.

Meanwhile, Justin, Adam, and Tanya are camping. Tanya comments on Tommy being born late. It is awesome. Adam and Tanya set up the hammock while trusting Justin to set up the campfire. Good on them! He's 12. He's capable. No need to coddle the boy.

Tommy and Kat are driving to the campsite in Tommy's truck. Kat is amazed that Tommy was actually on time for a change. Everybody mocks him (in a 'we love you anyway' way) and I love it. They get attacked by Piranhatrons and Kat makes it pretty far away from the truck before it explodes. Tommy is closer and there is Dramatic Lunge. He hits his head on the ground, but luckily there isn't anything in there to damage (at least that hasn't already been pretty severely damaged).

Back at the campsite, Justin hears a noise and heads off in search of the source. He is confronted with a flame monster who wants to set the world on fire. This monster even manages to interrupt the morphing sequence. He kicks the key out of Justin's hand mid-morph. AWESOME! Adam and Tanya come running to Justin's cries and manage to get their keys knocked away as well.

TJ and Cassie are at the bus stop taking the 15 minute break before heading off to Angel Grove and Stone Canyon. TJ notices hte smoke and assumes there is trouble over the hill. He runs off to investigate and Cassie tries to convince the bus driver that TJ will be right back. The bus driver drives off. Cassie stays behind.

She finds TJ and they discover Kat, fighting for her life against the Piranhatrons. They immediately jump in to help. HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THEM???? Together, they manage to beat back all the Piranhatrons, but not before some weird goopy thing takes Tommy while Kat screams his name a whole lot. He ends up all tied up in a cave somewhere.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Now see, wasn't that a better cliffhanger? And we got OODLES of unmorphed fighting! I swear 80% of this episode was fighting and there was not a single morphing sequence to be had. :D

2 fish! OMG it's a low fish episode from Turbo!!!!

Episode 214- The Whole Lie

Is there a good episode of Turbo? I mean, a really good episode? I'm beginning to doubt it.

So there's a car wash. They're trying to raise money to support the Angel Grove baseball team. Hey, it's a sport that isn't martial arts! In Angel Grove! No wonder they need a fundraiser. Justin spies something odd and goes to investigate. He finds Porto, who gives him the best nickname ever that we shall use forever and ever. He calls him the Littlest Ranger and zaps him with some kind of ray gun that forces him to tell lies.

Kat, clearly needing a book on free range parenting, gets all worried because the TWELVE YEAR OLD has wandered off on his own. He's 12. He's not 2. He is perfectly capable of being off by himself. She finds him just as Porto is leaving and asks if anything is wrong. Seeing as Justin can't tell the truth, he tells her he's fine and nothing unusual is going on.

When he lies, a piranatron appears. Kat and Justin fight (unmorphed! Yay! I missed those) and then return to the car wash. Justin continues to lie and Kat is worried about him, so she talks to Tanya. This plan would be much better if he was only lying about certain things, not everything. It's really easy to pick out something is wrong when he lies about stuff they KNOW to be true. Divatox seems pleased with the progress of her plan, however, and Elgar is fighting an octopus with really really long tentacles. He's completely wrapped up. She doesn't seem to care.

Concerned, Tanya and Kat take Justin to Demetria. She is... less than helpful. Justin lies again and a single piranatron shows up at the car wash. Adam is there to fight it off, but for some reason he needs to morph. Tanya and Kat go to help him out, just in time for a monster to show up. Justin stays behind. He's concerned about breaking the spell while the others fall under the same spell.

Tommy, meanwhile, is in the racing footage from the first episode and does not respond to his communicator. He is useless... until he decides he really ought to listen and goes to fight, only to fall under the lying spell as well.

Demetria asks Justin a question upon which he answers truthfully and suddenly the spell is broken. He morphs and asks the others a question, which they also answer truthfully and the spell is broken on them as well. So. A spell that makes it impossible for them to tell the truth can only be broken by telling the truth? And somehow they're able to do this without any trouble, without any concentration, without even any trickery involved? That... is the dumbest lie ray ever.

The monster grows, though how Elgar fired the torpedoes while being sucked out the porthole by the long-tentacled octopus is anybody's guess. They fight. They win. It's very boring.

Back at the Youth Center, Justin promises to never ever lie again. It's not like you could help it, kid! Lt. Stone asks Justin, Kat, and Tanya to try a new juice blend smoothie. They taste it, but it's vile. Lt. Stone asks Justin's opinion, being sure to spell out that he knows Justin would never lie to him, and so Justin tells him it's bad. The others agree. He blames the chimpanzees who then manage to cover him in smoothie. Justin once again reiterates how bad it is to lie, and how people really do want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth at all times. I think we get the point, show.

4 fish. 4 really old sat-out-in-the-sun fish. Ew.

Covered in food: Lt. Stone in juice blend/smoothie.

Episode 208- Shift Into Turbo Part 3

This should have been a stand alone episode. Just saying.

Principal Caplan finds Justin in the Youth Center. He tells him his test scores were through the roof and he gets to skip two grades and start Angel Grove High in the fall.

At the Power Chamber, Zordon calls them in to tell them he's leaving. Lerigot is there and they all assume it's for the graduation (not everything is about YOU, guys), but really he's there to release Zordon and send him home. Alpha will accompany him. It is very sad. Apparently Tommy was told first. He already knows. WHY???? And why didn't he tell them if he knew in advance? No wonder he's late showing up to the goodbye party. Zordon and Alpha will travel through the wormhole they've been monitoring. THAT IS NOT HOW WORMHOLES WORK. Well, they thought it might be, but we know now it's not. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

Divatox summons a monster that can disrupt the energy of the wormhole. He does a bang up job of it, and Zordon has to leave immediately. They have to stop the monster so Zordon can get through the wormhole before it collapses. Otherwise he'll be gone forever. Wow, science really really doesn't work like that.

They summon the zords. They have trouble combining the zords. At least Tommy reads the manual! They work it out, form the Megazord, and that fight is over. Mkay... special?

Then they go to destroy the device. They fight the monster and send Justin over to do the job. Why him, I have no idea. The monster attacks him (duh!) and he goes back to fighting it instead of destroying that all important device. The monster grows, they form the Megazord again, and do a spinning finish. At least it's a short fight?

Back in the Power Chamber, everyone is sad. Alpha is gone. Zordon is gone. Lerigot says goodbye and then is gone. They mope for a minute and then the most obnoxious voice starts talking. Alpha 6 has arrived. Then Dimitria arrives. I do not like either. Apparently neither does Divatox. She is trying to explain why it's bad while Elgar attempts to destroy a flying fish. A literal fish in the episode! Our scale is so canon.

5 fish. This did not need to be a three parter. This was SO BORING.

Episode 173 - Inner Spirit

OH MAN, YOU GUYS. Look, we're both in the south, and I just got out of the house today for the FIRST TIME since Sunday. Being stuck in the house = NOT FUN. Also, I managed to get to the store today, and now I have wine. Yay!

SO.

We're still on the All About Tommy run of episodes. This is... clearly not my favorite thing in the universe. However, there's a ton of continuity in these episodes, and there's actually some pretty awesome stuff in it. Also, Davis is freaking pretty.

We begin with a flashback to the Stereotype Quests where Tommy thinks about the Magical Arrowhead that he was given. Then we see a flash of the Megazord being drained. Tommy is concerned about his dream, so he actually goes to see Zordon.

The scene in the power chamber is really cute - Alpha's got on a nightcap! Zordon is all concerned about what time it is! The Megazord appears to be fine, but the Power Chamber experiences a brief power loss.

The next day, it turns out that the Youth Center is host to a Native American cultural event. We're not sure why this exhibit is being held at the Youth Center and not at a museum but whatever. Apparently it's also being sponsored by the Police, and since it's important for it to be a success, Lt. Stone gives the very important job of selling raffle tickets for it to Bulk and Skull. Apparently the one who sells the most tickets gets a free trip to Hawaii. The two keep trying to sell tickets (even to Principal Caplan!) but apparently someone named Delmar has beat them to it.

For the record, we would totally watch a show about Bulk and Skull in Hawaii.

Anyway, Tommy arrives (late) to the exhibit, and runs into the guy from his Zeo Quest. The guy claims not to recognize him, but Tommy is sure it's the same person, and offers to drive him somewhere to spend some time. He shows him the Arrowhead he was given, and when he's dropped off, the guy (Sam Trueheart) suggests that this is a good place to look for Arrowheads.

Mondo's latest monster is an energy drainer, that is draining power from Angel Grove. For some reason, this is also affecting the Power Chamber. Um. Why is the Power Chamber using Angel Grove's power? REALLY? Zordon doesn't have solar panels or something installed on that thing? Do they pay taxes? You fail so hard, Zordon.

The Rangers all morph in the dark, and that's pretty awesome. We go straight to a Zord fight, and the Megazord has its energy drained, and apparently it will take 3.6 days to recharge. That is suboptimal. Luckily, Billy has a backup plan.

You can read this scene in one of two ways - either Billy has a crush on Tommy, or he just used Tommy as the test case because he wouldn't care if Tommy was lost. YMMV. Anyway, Billy has built a new Zord based on Aquitian technology especially for Tommy, and it runs off Tommy's brainwaves. Tommy needs to be able to concentrate and have inner peace in order for it to work correctly.

Excuse me for a moment.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Ok, done now.

So, Tommy tries to go use his new Battle Zord, but he manages to crash it right out of the gate. Then it falls off a cliff. The other Rangers shoot the monster, and it does way more damage than the Zords did. Tommy finally manages to get his act together, thanks to a vision from Sam Trueheart that basically tells him to stop thinking and he manages to beat the monster.

Back at the Youth Center, it turns out that Delmar is the police chief's son. Bulk and Skull are very sad.

Tommy goes to the desert and a really hot guy on a magical horse appears out of nowhere. The episode ends.

The question I have for you - is this a Piers Anthony Magical Horse, or is this a Mercedes Lackey Magical Horse? Please discuss. (Details on the differences will be provided upon request, but you may not want to know)

Fish - 2! Hey, continuity exists in this episode!

Episode 108- Storybook Rangers Part 1

Today we squee over our mutual adoration of books. That's really the best part of this episode arch, I think.

So we start out in a book fair at the high school. Stone Canyon apparently never had book fairs because Aisha, Adam, and Rocky are all marveling at the mere idea. Adam is lost in a book when Billy runs over, all excited at having found Quantum Physics Can Be Fun, which he's apparently been trying to find for a number of months. Rocky has found a book on meditation, which he tells Tommy would be great for their martial arts, and Tommy just takes it right out of his hand while asking if he can read it. Poor Rocky is just left there with his hand in the air where the book once was going "uh..." and looking like a lost puppy.

Kim says she loves fairy tales while looking through the books on the fairy tale table, because she always wanted to be a princess and get rescued by her white knight in shining armour or something like that. Kim, honey, you could be SO much more than a damsel in distress, though I do admit to loving fairy tales myself. Tommy throws out a line about a white tiger instead of knight and I have to roll my eyes. But I can't hate Tommy too much in this episode, much as I want to. Kim has found a book she adored as a little girl, a book her father used to read to her every night at bedtime, called Grumble the Magic Elf (my father read me Jeremy Mouse... so I totally get where Kim is coming from here). She gets very nostalgic and Tommy immediately buys the book for her. That earns him about a billion points in my sight, but alas, he'll probably lose all those awesome points within the next few episodes.

So Tommy, Kim, and Rocky agree to go meet Aisha, Adam, and Billy at the Youth Center. On the way, Kim is looking through her new book when Rita, while Zedd is napping, decides to beat the rangers by sending three of them into Kim's storybook. So she zaps the book with her awesome wand and then zaps Tommy, Kim, and Rocky into the book. Kim recognizes where they are and they begin the trek to the end of the story.

Meanwhile, Billy is wandering around the Youth Center while reading his new quantum physics book and Adam is sitting behind a pile of books at a table. Oh boys! We completely understand. We're the same way. Aisha joins them and asks about what books they're reading while they wait for the other three.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have found a book for Skull's mother about how to cook a Thanksgiving feast, and a book for themselves about how to make monsters. So they hightail it back to Skull's garage/workroom/whatever it is from previous episodes so they can make their own monster to attract the Power Rangers. They forgot batteries, though, so Bulk puts Skull in charge of finishing the monster while he goes to the store. Skull gets ready but then has misplaced the book, so he runs all over the place, up and down some stairs, into drawers and cabinets, and good holy hell this garage is ENOURMOUS. It's bigger than the houses I grew up in, based just on this scene. We theorize that it's not actually a garage but rather a TARDIS, seeing as it's much bigger on the inside. Seeing as Skull has a TARDIS, we can only assume he's a Time Lord. I'm now completely in love with this idea and we both spent a good bit of the next scene yelling at the screen for Skull to just open his pocketwatch! Open your watch, Skull! You could do AMAZING things!

Anyway, he eventually finds the book, but accidentally grabs his mother's Thanksgiving feast book and uses it to finish building the monster. Bulk comes back, all gleeful and ecstatic at the opportunity to animate his monster. Clearly, Bulk is a direct descendant of Dr. Frankenstein.

Back in the storybook, the Transported Trio run across Grumble the Magic Elf who is really just Ticklesneezer in a Santa suit. He's a very grumpy elf and I ADORE him and his grumblings. He has to get toys to kids and he's NOT happy about it.

The Non-Transported Trio are beginning to wonder what's keeping the others. Aisha calls it perfectly when she says Tommy is always late but Rocky and Kim really ought to be there by now. They can't find them back at the book fair, nor can they raise them on the communicators, so Billy says they should go tell Zordon. I know I should be surprised Zordon hasn't noticed anything amiss yet, but frankly I'm so used to Zordon!Fail that I knew he wouldn't know what's going on.

Zedd, having woken from his nap, decides he needs to keep the story from ending so the rangers can't ever escape it. He sends some putties into the book to steal the toys. They're rather ineffective putties and not at all Punctual Putties, but they eventually get the job done and leave Grumble without any toys, which he proceeds to, well, grumble about. The Transported Trio push forward through the story anyway, where they end up in a frozen snowy wasteland with a big monster that looks suspiciously like the Primator. They discover the morphers won't work and Rocky surmises it's because of the cold. I didn't know morphers could freeze. *sigh*

Back at the Command Center, Billy takes charge of the situation and says he's going to locate their communicator signals. Zordon tells him it's a good idea and that's about all the use he is. Billy finds the signals, figures out they're in a book, but nobody can figure out where the book is. Billy also manages to pull them up on the viewing globe and frankly, Zordon and Alpha are just useless here. Billy figures out the morphers are frozen and they all watch as the Transported Trio get attacked by the Snow Monster that isn't Primator (but really he is).

Fade to black and To Be Continued!

Fish: 3.5 It wasn't too bad, but there is an awfully big school of fish just swimming right out of Zedd's lack-of-logic here.

Billy speak: "Their morphers are experiencing hypothermal malfunctioning." OMG WE GOT BILLY SPEAK!

Nothing else that we keep track of, really. Though now I'm totally enamoured with the idea of Skull being a Time Lord, and I so want fic where he opens his Chameleon device!

Episode 88- The Power Transfer Part 2

Ah, bondage. My favourite way to start a recap!

This episodes opens where the last one left off. The Stone Canyon Trio is tied to a tree... with chains. Heeee.

Adam immediately comes up with a plan. He tells Rocky to scoot around to the other side of the tree out of view while he attempts to grab a soccer ball with his foot. Rocky manages (and if he could slide around a tree, why couldn't he just slide out under the chains?) and Adam, ball in range, yells for him to run. A putty immediately comes over to investigate since he can't see Rocky. Adam kicks the ball at the z and destroys the putty, who drops the keys to the chain within reach of Adam's very limber and talented foot. They quickly unlock and untangle while all the other putties just kind of dance around and do nothing. They destroy a putty as a threesome (it's SYMBOLISM... or something) and then branch off into their own fights. They win, of course, and then use the soccer ball to kick back and forth before destroying the Disco Ball of Sleepy Doom. They then get very physical congratulating each other with high fives, groping of arms, and a hip bump.

Back on the abandoned planet. In the furthest galaxy. That's a few billion light years away. Ahem. Zedd is still destroying upside down pyramids and death stars while the rangers still try to pull the sword from the stone. Seriously guys, none of you are Arthur! You can't get the sword out! Tommy suggests Billy look at the map before they're all destroyed and Billy discovers there is a ring holding the map closed. He surmises the ring will fit on the statues finger, despite being the size of a small child's bracelet. The sword starts glowing and releases. Zedd destroys the entire planet (despite Goldar's warnings that they didn't have enough power last episode).

Alpha is teleporting them to the Command Center, but he's having a hard time with it. He gets Trini and Zack. Then he gets Kim and Jason. Finally he gets Billy, who immediately removes his helmet and shoves Alpha out of the way to recalibrate stuff and retrieve Tommy (who's missing in the ether of the teleportation device). Too bad he succeeds. Tommy shows up with the sword and Zordon tells them it is time to transfer the powers (despite the protests of a very bad Trini impersonator sandwiched in with dialogue from Thuy Trang's Trini and it was just bad). Billy, who just out-techied A ROBOT, can't for the life of him guess who is going to fill the three vacant spots. Gee. I wonder.

Rocky, Adam, and Aisha step out from the shadows and everybody puts helmets back on. Tommy holds up the sword and suddenly Rocky, Adam, and Aisha are morphed. Meanwhile Jason, Zack, and Trini are STILL morphed. They didn't demorph! They just handed over their powers and they didn't demorph! It's insanely fishy.

So the Unemployed Trio leave, never to be seen or heard from again, and the Stone Canyon Trio immediately have to jump into action when Zedd makes a redneck spikey monster out of sludge. Kim tells them they're on call 24 hours a day and we suddenly very badly want fic about a 3am monster attack the night before finals.

Anyway, Serpenterra is back on Earth now and Zedd makes his redneck monster grow. Rocky takes charge and very forcefully (damn, is it hot in here? No? Just me then.) insists he be the one to take care of it. SO HE DOES. Because he is awesome. Zedd calls them half-baked heroes and we dissolve into fits of giggles. We REALLY want fic about that now. Tommy has to go help Rocky at one point and then they call Tor and things get a little hairy, but they beat the monster in the end. Meanwhile the others just kind of stand around and do... what we aren't sure. My theory is Adam and Aisha are explaining the benefits of being in a polyamorous relationship to Kim and Billy so they can understand it's okay if Billy gets in on the Kim/Tommy action (what with his girlfriend going off to Torchwood Switzerland and all).

And before anybody can deal with Serpenterra, he runs out of power and the fight is over. I like that. More fights should end that way. We theorize that perhaps Billy put the battery in upside down, but we're pretty sure Zedd wouldn't let Billy near his precious Serpenterra, no matter how genius with Zords he is.

Later, in the Command Center, they watch Trini, Jason, and Zack leave via the viewing globe. That's right, they didn't even go to the airport to say goodbye. And this was back in the day when you could go right up to the gate and say goodbye! Some friends they are.

We are amazed they made it through the entire episode without once saying "Once a ranger, always a ranger."

List time:
5 fish. Just... five.

Billy speak: "I need to recalibrate the teleporter."

"Amplifying wavelengths."

Covered in food: nobody!

Fic we really really REALLY want: Half-baked rangers, why the Unemployed Trio didn't demorph in the power transfer, and the Unemployed Trio watching the first few fights as non-rangers from Torchwood base Switzerland.

Episode 79 - Two For One

Hey, there's a thread on to celebrate the awesome women of Power Rangers, and you should all go and post on it.

You know, I was checking earlier, and Tommy has had more episodes about him than any other Ranger. Sadly, we are continuing that trend today, although Kimberly also takes top billing.

We open at the Juice Bar, where Kim is prancing about in an absolutely ridiculous dress. She asks Trini what she thinks, and Trini tells her that it's adorable, and asks if it's for her date with Tommy. First of all, Trini, don't lie to her. That dress is awful. Second, don't encourage her. Before Trini can continue to lie to her, Richie brings over their (diet) soda, and we both sulk about that for a minute, and then Richie is ridiculously adorable and asks Trini to go study with him later. Study. Sure. Is that what they were calling it?

Anyway, Kim tells us a little bit more about her purse. Apparently it's the purse her mom took on her first date with her dad. There is so much wrong here I don't know where to start. 1-It isn't Kimberly's first date with Tommy. 2-Kimberly's parents are divorced, so this isn't a good sign for her continued relationship with Tommy. 3-That purse is FUGLY.

Bulk and Skull walk in, with a Power Rangers detector that was created by Bulk's cousin Waldo who goes to Angel Grove Tech. I'm going to refrain from a Where's Waldo joke, or trying to figure out where Angel Grove Tech is. And it is seriously the best detector ever - it has two settings "Power Rangers" and "Not Power Rangers". And it has smiley faces! Amazing!

So, Tommy shows up, all sweaty because he's been sparring with Jason. Kim asks if he's ready, and he tells her that it's only three, so he's got time. Of course, it's after four by this point, but whatever. Kim borrows Trini's lipstick, and waits for Tommy to finish showering.

Zedd and Goldar decide to ruin their date, and they'll turn Kim's purse and the stuff in it into two monsters, because Goldar wants one of his own. Now, I know we've been saying that they should have multiple monsters attack, but um, this was ridiculous. So they send putties down to attack Kim and Tommy, and Tommy is actually really adorable and romantic, asking Kim "May I have this dance?" and spinning her around before they go beat up some putties. They beat them, and then the purse gets turned into a monster. They morph, and the purse monster freezes them.

Zordon was apparently paying attention, because he calls the others. Jason and Zack were having a slap fight. It was pretty adorable. They actually spend most of the episode looking like they're about to make out, which pleases me greatly. Zordon explains that there are two monsters, and Trini and Billy are told to stay behind and figure out what piece of equipment will be able to unfreeze them. Jason asks Zack to go rescue Tommy and Kim, and they gaze soulfully into each others' eyes. Jason, meanwhile, will fight the lipstick monster with the giant phallic symbols by himself.

Zack immediately also gets frozen, and Jason calls his zord and starts to get his ass kicked. Billy and Trini eventually figure out how to free everyone, and they defreeze everyone else. While this is going on, Bulk and Skull follow their Ranger detector into the lake. After they get unfrozen, Tommy fights the purse monster by himself, while everyone else runs off to help Jason. He promptly gets tied up, so Saba saves the day and somehow the monster is destroyed. IDEK.

Meanwhile, the other Rangers all summon their zords, and it turns out that their zords have wacky powers! The unicorn zord can move boulders, the griffon shoots fire, and the firebird creates whirlwinds. (It's possible that the lion does something also, but we were too busy trying to figure out why Billy's zord was telekinetic.) Anyway, instead of forming the megazord, it turns out that Jason's zord just needed a ride? It jumps off of the others and hits the lipstick monster with its staff.

Kim gets her purse back, but there's no sign of the lipstsick. And Bulk and Skull find a bunch of kids. Pretty weak ending.

Fish: 4.5 Everything about this episode was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "The multiple arsenal must come from the paraphernalia from the receptical from which it was created."
"If only I could get the right coordinates on the refractor shield"

Covered in: Bulk and Skull fall in the lake

Episode 59- Mighty Morphin' Mutants

As I was wandering the aisles of the grocery today, buying my bread, my milk, my kitchen sponges, I stopped at the beer aisle. You see, we're out of beer and while we don't drink often, we do occasionally enjoy a nice cold one. I stood there, pondering my choices. Was it a Shiner kind of week? Would Guinness be more fitting? Oh, but there was a new Canadian import on sale that I'd wanted to try, so maybe that. And while I thought about which to purchase, I remembered the episode scheduled for viewing and recapping tonight. As I remembered this episode, I immediately turned away from the beer, paid for my groceries, and headed next door to the liquor store. This episode requires something far harder than a grocer could provide. And that, dear readers, should tell you everything you need to know about tonight's episode.

It's a Tommy episode and we start off with Tommy running down the school hallway. He's late. Again. Kim asks him what's going on and he tells her he's late for Mrs. Applebee's class. I wonder why she's not also late for class, and why she's not in the same class with him as they seem to share every class, but then I remember Mrs. Applebee teaches English, and Science, and Social Studies, and who knows what else. So... yeah. Anyway. He's late.

He sneaks in just in time for Mrs. Applebee to give them their assignment. And before we're even ONE MINUTE into the episode, I teeter on the verge of blackout rage. But I have artificial means of calming my nerves and that's the only thing that saves this episode and has kept this recap out of all caps.

You see, their assignment is to ask their friends to choose something about said person that needs a little work. And then they have to go about trying to fix that problem. So basically they have to go ask all their friends "Hey, what's wrong with me?" and then try to fix it. Um... that's not cool. Yeah, acknowledge your flaws and all that. But to ask teenagers to go around asking other teenagers what's bad about themselves? That's... a disaster waiting to happen. I would have WEPT had I been given such an assignment in school. I also know there would have been a large handful of people jumping at the chance to tell me the fact I existed at all was what was wrong with me... so yeah. This assignment fills me with rage. Bad horrible awful soul-crushing assignment.

Moving on. Bulk is actually rather astute in that he goads Tommy that he'll be lucky if he can even remember what the assignment is. Because Tommy is forgetful. And this episode points it out with startling consistency.

We cut to Goldar conducting a putty training session. It's ADORABLE! I love it. Poor Number 6 just isn't cutting it though, so Goldar sends him back to the clay factory. Goldar then hands out five discs and we discover the putties are going to morph and become ranger clones. We have black, pink, yellow, blue, and green. No red because Number 6 couldn't cut it. Of course he couldn't. Goldar wants the real thing. He'll settle for nothing less than Jason himself. No putty would have been able to pass the Goldar Jason-obsession test.

Tommy asks what his flaws are. First he borrows a towel and some water from Jason because he forgot his, and Jason tells him he's forgetful. He gets a little offended and is all "C'mon man!" but Jason has walked off. Then he asks Kim and Trini and they agree, he's forgetful. He has to agree with them after he buys a soda, puts a straw in it, and then forgets it on the counter. He then says he forgot he was forgetful. *headdesk*

We then see Tommy and Kim walking through the park together and they come across the green and pink Putty Rangers. Tommy tells Kim not to morph and they get their rear-ends handed to them. They wait until the fight is over and the Putty Rangers are gone to contact Zordon and let him know what's up. They discover there is no red Putty Ranger because Rita has sent down Commander Crayfish in it's place (and poor Putty Number 6 couldn't get Goldar's Jason-obsessed approval).

The next day, as Tommy forgets just about everything else, Billy gives him a device he worked on the night before. It's a little memory device that has everything Tommy needs to do programmed into it and sounds an alarm at the required time. Billy was actually helpful! Except then they talk about taking their minds off Rita's evil rangers in the middle of the very crowded Youth Center and seriously, secret identities don't work that way. While at school, Kim just ties a bunch of ribbons on Tommy's wrist and tells him that will help him remember. The memory device short circuits just in time for Tommy to realize he's forgotten his notebook, the one with all his homework and notes in it that Trini worked so hard helping him organize. And goodness knows what else he's forgotten (aside from a soda he just bought, a towel, his water for after working out, what attacks he's using during sparring, etc etc etc).

It's at this point that I begin to wonder if Tommy has a brain tumor because seriously, this goes way beyond just forgetful. This is disturbing serious mental damage levels of forgetfulness. TSB's theory is that it's something Rita did to him when he was evil and while I never put much stock in that beforehand, the end of this episode gives us a plausible theory. More on that later.

So Tommy leaves his morpher in his locker and skips class to run home and get his homework folder. Meanwhile, the other five are called away before reaching class, so they end up skipping as well. They go fight Commander Crayfish and the Putty Rangers. They do okay, but not too terribly well. Tommy finally gets back and hears his morpher, so he goes to join the fight. La de da. Fight scenes aren't my favourite, sorry. Zordon gives them new weapons after they get their asses handed to them AGAIN, and they look just like the old weapons, but are supposedly way more powerful. They blast the Putty Rangers into the air and then Rita makes them grow. Even the putties grew. This happened before when Tommy was evil. Rita made him grow. I had forgotten, but TSB reminded me, and it cleared up some things. Perhaps Tommy really did suffer brain damage from the massive growth and then shrinking down. Surely it would have adversely affected his internal anatomy.

Anyway, they call the zords, they fight, they call Titanus, they win. End of fight, yay!

Back at school the following day, poor Tommy is still forgetful. The others make him feel better about it, telling him it's okay because nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws and that's what make you special and your real friends will love you despite your shortcomings. Which is a good lesson, sure, but falls flat after the whole "ask everyone you know what they think is WRONG WITH YOU" assignment. *sigh* Not to mention that the level of forgetfulness Tommy exhibited was downright FRIGHTENING and worrisome. Like, what is physically wrong with him, get him into a doctor asap, kind of worrisome.

Bulk and Skull show up to school dressed as gentlemen. They are cleaned up nicely, hair washed and styled, wearing suits. They look pretty darn good! They even brought a present for Mrs. Applebee, but she refuses to open it and insists they open it for her. It ends up shooting silly string all over Bulk and his nice suit. Mrs. Applebee then turns to the rangers and says, and I quote, "Well, I suppose some of us will never change." and then LAUGHS. WORST. TEACHER. EVER.

So yes, I needed that hard liquor to keep me calm through this episode, mostly because of the assignment. Seriously, I would have had a freaking mental breakdown had I been assigned that in school. That's... just not okay.

Lists:

5 fish. It kept some continuity and all, but that assignment! I can't get past it. And Tommy's disturbing level of forgetfulness without being called on it. Myocardial infarction was less worrisome than this mess.

Billy speak: none really

Covered in food: none

Episode 55- Second Chance

This was an incredibly boring and pointless episode. It... ugh. Should have had a beer. Would have made it easier. I think I'd rather suffer through Devon's Not-Actually-A Ghost again than watch this episode one more time.

So we start out in the Youth Center with Jason and Zack on a date. It's adorable, but that's the last interesting thing that happens. A bunch of kids run off all happy to have made Ernie's soccer team. Why Ernie is running a soccer team, we have no idea. There is one little boy who is very sad. Or rather, we suspect he's supposed to be very sad, but really he's just wooden and expressionless. I think the kid from Phantom Menace could act better than this kid. Anyway, Boy Who Can't Act, also named Roger, didn't make the soccer team. Jason suggests he practice. Ernie says if it was up to him, he'd hold another try-out (why this will help, I have no idea). Zack throws logic into an episode that lacks any and says it IS up to Ernie, who then says "Oh yeah" and sets up for a second try-out.

At school the following morning, Zack wants to do soccer tricks in the hallway. Bulk and Skull take the soccer ball. Kim is mean to Bulk (something about nobody seeing him on a soccer field... it was cruel, we'll just leave it with that). Bulk manages to kick the ball right into Ms. Applebee as she comes around the corner. She gives them detention. Zack chastises them for doing soccer tricks in the hall... which he was just about to do too... and I want to bang on the keyboard, but won't because I like my computer and don't want to break it.

Oh, and somewhere in there, Tommy slammed his wrist and communicator against the wall and broke it. He goes to first period, which he doesn't have with the other rangers but does have with Bulk and Skull (and what in the world do their timetables actually look like? I can't figure it out). His communicator keeps beeping and Ms. Applebee takes away his "pager", yet doesn't question that it looks like a watch and not the little heavy boxes with the tiny screen that pagers used to be. Oh goodness. Pagers. Dear readers, we feel very old right now.

After school that day, Jason and Zack practice soccer in the park with their Inappropriately Young Friend, aka Boy Who Can't Act. The kid is bad. They encourage him and instead of actually showing him how to do things, they just keep throwing the ball at him. So then they get attacked by putties. And then they get attacked by Rita's not-fully-charged Soccadillo. Oh show. The best part is the putties get together and start playing soccer with the Soccadillo. That was actually really cool. Not as cool as pumpkin!putties, but still pretty neat.

Zordon calls the other rangers in and Trini goes to stand by Boy Who Can't Act while Billy and Kim go after the putties. I'm a little confused as to the logic here. I mean, I know Trini is mostly Informed Ability, and she's only shown as being awesome in her (very very few) focus episodes, but I certainly doubt a novice and a girl with no martial arts training would be more skilled fighters than somebody who takes specialized martial arts classes with her own personal trainer.

Anyway, they get their rear-ends kicked by the Soccadillo (okay, so I know everywhere else lists it with only one c, but since it's a word smush and soccer has two c's, I'm going with that). They teleport to the Command Center and we're left wondering what they did with the kid. We can only assume they gave him some fish and went about their merry way.

They morph and go fight in the Inexplicable Abandoned Rock Quarry again. They blast and blast and apparently forget it's an ARMOURED mammal, so the firepower really isn't going to work against it. Meanwhile Tommy is trying to get his communicator back from Ms. Applebee and is surprised to discover it did not, in fact, magically fix itself while locked in her desk drawer all day. Zordon teleports him into the fight and they call Zords. Yada yada yada, Power Sword Saves Them All, explosion, the end.

Back at the Youth Center we discover every kid made it onto the soccer team because Ernie couldn't bear to let anybody down and made a second team. Bulk and Skull tell Boy Who Can't Act that he really didn't have to practice after all and he says he did, but frankly, they're kind of right. He would have made the team regardless of his actual skill level because EVERYBODY made the team no matter what. But Skull decides to show off, has something sticky on his hand, gets the soccer ball stuck, knock both Bulk and himself over, and then get covered in milkshake.

And I'm just glad it's over.

4.5 fish. It made little sense and was just BORING.

Billy speak: "Looks like a member of the dasypodidae family. [beat] An armoured mammal."

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull in milkshake.

Times I had to go back and edit out where I accidentally typed football instead of soccer and didn't catch it until the end: twice

Episode 33- The Yolk's On You

I'd like to take a moment to thank the lovely ladies at Tweenage Wasteland for bringing this to our attention. It's a video and the point of interest starts about a minute in. Apparently one of the Disney Tweeny Bopper stars grew up watching Power Rangers and he totally geeks out about it. His name is Sterling Knight, which I hope is a stage name, because otherwise... well... did his parents really hope he'd grow up to work in a gay strip club? Seriously? Sterling Knight... of all the things to name your kid. Anyway, I don't know much about him other than he's twenty years old and looks like he's twelve, and he rants about the cast change in season two. And he thinks Tommy is awesome when he's evil and Saba was cool. So there you go. Power Rangers in the mainstream.

As for tonight's episode, well, they probably should have just called it Monsters Addicted to Drugs and been done with it. Instead they bogged it down with this whole superfluous plot about the rangers being in a talent show.

First we see Jason and Tommy walking down a hallway that looks like the hallway outside of the Youth Center. They enter a room that looks suspiciously like the Youth Center. Except a stage has been added. This is apparently the theatre of Angel Grove High. That looks JUST LIKE the Youth Center. And Ernie is there for some reason. They were really short on sets first season, yeah? Anyway, Jason looks as if he's been thoroughly... um... enjoyed by Tommy. Tommy regretfully informs him that he's forgotten their karate belts and must go back and get them so once again, off he runs. Alone. Through the park. This... isn't going to end well, is it?

Meanwhile, Finster creates a monster and sends it to Earth. Rita flips out because she didn't know about it and didn't authorize it. It's okay though! It's Rita's birthday and the monster is Finster's present to her. AWWWWWWW! So freaking adorable.

Tommy runs through the park, alone, and sure enough, it doesn't end well. After doing some random martial arts against the leaves of a tree, Tommy is attacked for real by putties! Four of them! Oh no, whatever will he do! Uh... get beaten, of course. Despite being the best martial artist in all of Angel Grove, he can't handle four putties. He ends up tied up, yet again, by a hanging net with one putty holding his communicator and another holding his morpher. We assume he lost so easily because he's overtired and distracted by having just made hot, manly love to Jason. It's really the only logical explanation.

And here we get to the real meat of the story. The monster, named Fang, is in search of his gooney bird eggs. He needs them, you see. Unfortunately, Squat and Baboo have eaten them all. Fang FLIPS OUT. He goes ballistic and starts yelling and fighting. Goldar tells him the Power Rangers have his eggs and he goes running off looking for his fix.

Back at the talent show that is being held in the not-the-Youth Center, Billy is wearing a cowboy hat (and I am TRAUMATIZED by it I tell you, traumatized) and Bulk and Skull are adorably punk. Principal Caplan yells at them a lot and then the rangers run out to the not-the-Youth-Center-Hallway and answer their communicators. They learn that Tommy is all tied up AGAIN and they have to morph and go fight a monster. I'm wondering why anybody is surprised by Tommy getting tied up by putties anymore. It seems to happen on a fairly regular basis. He really ought to learn to carry a pocketknife or something.


The Rangers try to fight the monster, but Goldar is still there and he blasts them with some fire something and throws them off a cliff. They weren't standing near a cliff, but Angel Grove geography makes no sense and off they go. In Jason's case, twice. Yes, Jason got thrown off the top of the cliff twice. He's just talented like that.

We see Tommy again and he's trying to get out of the net. I was bothered by it earlier, but now I just want to yell. He needs to get himself to his hairstylist. What he's sporting now? It's atrocious. I don't give a rat's tuches about hair and even I know that boy needs some serious help. It's so... distractingly bad.

Rita shows up on Earth and talks to Fang. She promises to get him some eggs if he'll do her bidding and he's going through such withdraw pains right now that he would lick her feet if she told him there was gooney bird egg goo on them. She makes him grown and reveals that he is secretly Wolverine! His adamantium claws grow with him and we squee with delight. Since Batman already exists in the Power Rangers universe, now it is Marvel's turn (which makes sense since Disney just bought Marvel) this totally works. The Rangers call their Zords, wonder where Tommy is, and after what seems to be the longest MegaZord sequence in existence, they attempt to fight Fang. Poor guy just wants his fix, however, and can't stop talking about those darn gooney bird eggs.

Tommy gets out of the net and shows up to the fight, late as usual, and they call Titanus just in time to stop Fang from destroying the dam. Where the dam came from, we don't know. Why they thought Fang wanted to destroy the dam, we also don't know. Fang just wants his gooney bird eggs. This whole mess could have been avoided if they'd just given him some eggs or checked him into rehab. It would have been much easier than summoning three zord combinations and then blowing him up. Which is what they had to do.

Back at the talent show they discuss the fight backstage with Ernie standing right there. Secret identity FAIL, Rangers! Anyway, Tommy and Jason do some coordinated martial arts and everybody oohs and aahs as if they've never seen Jason and Tommy do martial arts before. They walk off stage with Tommy's arm around Jason's waist. Luckily Zack doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps he's moved on. Bulk and Skull get a turn next. They do a pretty decent punk routine, and I actually really liked it, but the rest of the audience... doesn't. Surprise surprise. Kimberly claps for them, at least.

Overall, this was a pretty consistent episode! Only 2 fish for this one.

List time:
covered in food- Nobody!
Billy speak- none, but at least he didn't sing country *shudder*, so I can live without the Billy speak.

Episode 25- Life's a Masquerade

We got the opening theme on this episode and I have to say, we get such a delight when we get the opening theme. Season 1 MMPR had the best opening theme in my opinion. Maybe it's just nostalgia talking, but I just get a warm fuzzy feeling when I hear the theme song and see those cheesy effects.

Apparently there is a costume party at the Youth Center and a rather large group of teenagers is helping set up. All the Rangers are there plus probably twenty other kids. Bulk and Skull are there too and Kim mocks their wardrobe without provocation. Way to be mean, Kim, way to be mean. Zack chases after Angela, Jason is left hanging, Tommy offers to help Kimberly and somehow a bucket of paint gets tossed on Bulk. Everybody laughs and we cut to Rita.

She wants a nasty monster to invade the costume party so Finster makes her a Frankenstein Monster. I'm a little sad at this fact. The Frankenstein Monster was really a pretty nice guy. He didn't want to hurt anybody, he just couldn't help it, and I hate that he's been turned into a bad guy... and given his creator's name. Anyway, my rant aside, Rita's Frankenstein Monster agrees to go attack the Power Rangers.

We then get to see all the Ranger costumes, except Tommy's. Billy is Sherlock Holmes, Kim is a princess, Trini is Pocahontas, Zack is King Tut, and Jason is Robin Hood... complete with tights. They actually look pretty good (Zack especially... that man is BUILT) and aside from Kim's entirely pink dress, nobody is decked out in entirely their Ranger colour! In fact, Jason isn't wearing any red AT ALL. We're impressed and wish we could see more of this.

In another house in another part of town we see Bulk and Skull. It appears to be Bulk's very messy bedroom and it is huge. They're trying to figure out what to use as their costumes, no doubt still stinging from Kim's thoughtless comment on their normal attire. First they try Skull as Captain Hook and Bulk as Peter Pan. Then they try Bulk as the back end of a horse and Skull as the front. The best costume idea comes last... Skull as young!Elvis and Bulk as older!Elvis. Bulk throws out his back, however, and they apparently do the same to the costume idea. Tis a pity. They both looked really good as Elvis.

Later, at the party, Zack tries to get Angela to dance with him and she flat out refuses. He laments that even a king isn't good enough for her and Jason comforts him affectionately. We discover Bulk and Skull decided to come as punks and Ernie shows up as a vampire. Alpha then shows up. Yes, Alpha. In public. At a party. At least it's a costume party and he can get away with it for now. The Frankenstein monster comes in right behind him and Billy theorizes it might be Tommy. Tommy hasn't shown up yet because his costume wasn't ready so, despite the very noticeable height and build difference, people just assume he's Tommy. Way to be bad friends, guys. In the meantime, girls swarm around Alpha and Zack again complains about his lack of luck with women. Seriously, Zack, stop hanging around your boyfriend and maybe the girls would look twice at you.

A girl drags the Frankenstein Monster on the floor to dance and he gets mad and lifts her high in the air. She screams and everybody basically just stares at them. Skull, however, jumps into action and shoots the monster with a suction cup dart. It was ineffective, but at least he did something about it! Good for you, Skull.

The monster leaves and Billy, realizing it may not actually be Tommy, chases after him. He is led into the now familiar Cave of Captivity. The only cave Rita ever uses for anything. In this cave we discover Rita (hanging out on Earth!) is having her henchmen build a Super Putty. It's going to be twice as strong and nearly invincible. They are building the Super Putties by making a very big ball of clay. No shape, no form, just a big ball of clay. Rita opens the Earth and flies the big ball of clay out of the ground and up into the air. She promises to come back and destroy all of humanity, cackling evilly the whole time.

Meanwhile, Billy is battling the Frankenstein Monster in the cave. The monster disappears and he runs back to the Youth Center. You have a communicator, Billy. Heck, you CREATED the communicators, Billy. USE THEM FOR THEIR INTENDED PURPOSE! Sorry for the all caps there but this really irritates me. To date Zack is the only Ranger who used the communicator in a time of need. Fail, Rangers!

Billy tells the others what is going on and they teleport to the Command Center to ask Zordon. He shows them the monster and they try to contact Tommy but are, as usual, unsuccessful. At least it's consistent for his character! They morph and go to fight the monster, but Rita makes him grow almost immediately. So they summon the Zords almost immediately.

Meanwhile, Tommy is attacked by a group of putties in front of the Youth Center. He beats them off and finally realizes he has a communicator. Zordon tells him to morph and go help the others. MegaZord has been knocked down, but Tommy shows up just in time to help. Rita flies away, thinking she's likely won at this point, and they form the MegaDragonZord. They beat the Frankenstein Monster relatively easy and it, as usual, gives poor Rita yet another headache.

Back at the party, they discover it's time to find out who won the costume contest. Tommy is in his regular clothes and tells them he'll be right back, he has to go put on his costume. Tommy shows up about 15 seconds after he leaves. He's managed to change clothes, put on a mask/hat, and paint the rest of his skin blue. He looks just like Rita's Frankenstein Monster, only considerably shorter and less bulky. Everybody jumps, Tommy removes the hat, and the whole bunch get a hearty laugh. Ernie then hands the blue ribbon to Alpha, who insists his identity must remain a mystery and leaves.

Overall, this is a pretty low fish episode! It's consistent, it's not too terribly ridiculous, and it even has foreshadowing for later episodes! The Rangers aren't glaringly obvious by wearing outfits consisting entirely of their designated colour. Rita is on Earth! And foretells of evil things to come in the future! Alpha is in public, but in the believable setting of a costume contest. And we get to see the Cave of Captivity again. All in all, we give it 2.5 fish.

Covered in food: Nobody, but Bulk gets covered in paint

Billy Speak: "My deductive reasoning tells me you're not Tommy."
"It's time for molecular transmutation!"

Episode 23- Itsy Bitsy Spider

In celebration of the new livejournal community and my return from sporadic internet access during my week at a place not-my-home, we decided to do a Saturday update!

We start this episode with another petition run by Trini. This time she has Billy helping her attempt to get other teenagers interested in civic action. They're trying to get enough signitures to convince the city council to keep an old statue in the park. Apparently they want to tear it down and replace it with a grill. The statue isn't all that big and neither are park grills, so we're not sure why there is only one spot in the entirety of the park that could hold the pit and it's right where the statue happens to be. Apparently the statue had a myth behind it, a myth about a woman who protects humans from bad insects. She has a flower in her hair to remind humans that not all bugs are bad. It's really a rather ugly statue, actually. To illustrate this, they are standing in front of a table full of small containers holding bugs and spiders. Zack lets us know he's afraid of spiders. Good to know there, Zack. I'm sure that will prove very important information in an episode about you that's called Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Bulk and Skull, meanwhile, aren't sure why bugs would be helpful to humans and decide to be really mean by throwing all the bug containers on the ground. The bugs escape and pandemonium ensues in the hallway. Kids are running and screaming in all directions and poor Zack ends up with a tarantula on his shoulder. He freaks out and Tommy comes to his rescue. Does Tommy pick up the spider? No, of course not. He doesn't even brush it off. Instead, he waits until the spider jumps off Zack's shoulder (I didn't know tarantulas jumped... somebody correct me if I'm wrong here) and then hits him really hard with his binder. Way to be a friend, Tommy!

Later that day, after having changed clothes (we don't know why... nod and smile), the gang meets up to brainstorm a way to replace all the bugs that went missing. Billy introduces them to Jack, his lab mouse. We're not sure why and Jack is so cute we don't care that it makes no sense. Kim wants Jack to be her pet which is just so sweet and awesome I couldn't not mention it. Bulk and Skull, in rare form this episode, throw a notebook at Billy to get him to drop the mouse. Jack runs up Skull's pants leg and tickles his way up to Skull's collar. Billy rescues Jack and off they go to catch more bugs.

Meanwhile, Rita has made a replica of the statue Trini and Billy are trying to save. Inside her evil Spider Monster (which really looks more like an overstuffed tick... I know they're in the same family, spiders and ticks, but they don't look THAT much alike) will wait until called to leap forth and hand the Rangers their collective rear-ends. Or at least that's the plan. To aide him in his endeavor, Rita has placed spiders and moths all over the statue. Why moths? Because they are made of sleeping powder and make humans fall asleep of course! This is apparently supposed to be obvious, but it isn't, so we nod and smile and move on.

We then see Trini, Kim, Jason, and Billy in the middle of a field. They've gathered together to collect bugs. Jason looks rather handsome in a simple outfit and Kim and Trini are a little matchy, but adorable! Billy, however, is wearing the type of safari gear one would buy for a small child to play dress up. He's cute though, so we forgive him. We discover that Tommy has a martial arts class he couldn't miss and Zack is teaching Hip Hop Kido. Why they would even invite Zack is beyond me. The poor boy is afraid of bugs! That would be like inviting Billy to stay on an underwater planet populated entirely by fish! Oh... wait.

Meanwhile, at Zack's Hip Hop Kido class, we discover he's teaching a small group of young boys. He demonstrates some moves, asks some kid to copy him, and then tells him he did alright but needs some funkier music. We love Zack so much but that's really not the way to teach martial arts. He LEAVES THE KIDS ALONE and Rita unleashes her sleeping powder moths. They all fall asleep and Zack discovers them in a pile on the grass. He's unable to wake them so he contacts Zordon right away. First Ranger ever to use his head in a crisis! He doesn't run to the other Rangers; he uses his communicator to ask for help! Good for you, Zack. You may fail as a teacher and at your child minding responsibilities, but at least you know who to contact in case of emergency.

He won't leave the kids, but he does run to the statue and discovers it crawling with bugs. He's a little freaked out, but manages to look closely enough to realize it's not the same statue. The flower has been replaced with a snake. Zack morphs and it releases the Spider Monster. It is only here he suspects Rita is at fault. Seriously? A bunch of kids fall asleep under suspicious circumstances due to sleeping powder moths and you don't suspect Rita until a missing flower gives it away? Wow. He doesn't even get to battle the Spider Monster before Goldar shows up and fights. The other Rangers morph and join him in battle. Rita goes straight to growth mode and the Spider Monster becomes a giant.

We have to take a minute and appreciate Rita's ability to throw her staff FROM THE MOON and NEVER miss the target. She somehow manages to account for wind, velocity, distance, descent, and protects it from burning up in the atmosphere on it's way in. That is one amazing power.

So the Rangers call their Zords in what seems like the longest Zord summoning sequence in quite awhile. They form the MegaZord but immediately get electrocuted... by a spiderweb. They decide they can't do it alone without having really engaged in battle, and Zordon calls Tommy in. He's in the park, showing off again. Not in a class like they said, but rather just doing some moves all on his own. Okay then. The MegaZord somehow separates while Tommy is calling the DragonZord and they decide to fight with their individual Zords. Zacks promises to show the Spider Monster what Mastodon Power is all about. He doesn't get the chance though and we're left disappointed and wondering. The Zords come together again to form the Dragon MegaZord. They beat the Spider Monster and the kids magically wake up. Somehow the real statue returns and all is well again.

Back at school, we discover the petition was accepted by the city council and the statue has been saved. No word on where the bbq grill will go. Tommy then puts a fake spider on Zack's shoulder to trick him after Zack says he's over his fear of spiders. So thoughtful, Tommy. We'd just LOVE to have you as a friend.

List time!

Overall, 3.5 fish. It probably deserves 4, but it's a Zack episode (so much love!) and it features Hip Hop Kido and for once in the entire series, somebody uses their brain and calls for help immediately using the communicator Billy provided them for just that purpose.

Billy Speak: "The forest spirit provides a buffer against harmful arthropods."
Trini Translation: "It's to protect all of us against bad insects."

Covered in food: None! But just about everybody ends up covered in bugs.

Questions to ponder: Just what IS Mastodon Power all about, Zack?
Where was Kim and what was she doing during that entire battle? She summoned her Zord and then... nothing.

Episode 22 - The Trouble With Shellshock

Well, we thought about taking a week off after our Green With Evil marathon last weekend, but the Power Rangers compels us! This episode opens with a basketball game, as Zack and Tommy compete for Jason's affection. Or at least we're pretty sure that's what they're competing over. It might actually just be that the loser buys lunch, but we like our version better. We love that they're playing basketball! The boys all have really nice arms, and you know how we feel about that. And Zack's idea of trash talk is amazing.

While they play, Squatt shows up to monologue about how he and Baboo are going to make the most awesome monster ever to impress Rita. They're actually right! The monster they make is awesome. Not quite as awesome as Pudgy Pig or Terror Toad, but still great. It's a turtle with a traffic light stuck in it's neck, and it has a ton of wacky weapons, like a random hook, a baseball bat, and a cannon. They're making this monster in secret while Rita sleeps, although since she's snoring pretty loudly I don't know why they're so worried about accidentally waking her. Baboo says they should call the monster "Greta" or "Pitoush" (or at least we think that's what it says, it's unclear) but Squatt suggest Shellshock instead, and Baboo wisely listens to him.

Back at the basketball game, Bulk and Skull show up to taunt the Rangers, who have apparently decided to stop pretending to be nice to them, and instead just suggest they go back to the circus they came from. Skull wonders if the circus is actually in town, and Bulk tells him that they're being made fun of. A brief tussle ensues, and Skull and Bulk end up being thrown into the random hot dog cart and they end up covered in ketchup, mustard and relish, and even though Kimberly was the one to throw them into it, they're told that they need to pay for it, and seriously, why so mean to them? Tommy goes off to a martial arts class, and then Putties and Shellshock attack.

Really, Squatt and Baboo should make monsters more often, because Shellshock does really well. He hits Trini with a "Go Ray" which makes her run away from the battle. And then he shoots baseballs at the Rangers, before he hits Zack, Billy and Kimberly with a freeze ray, and they are turned into statues. Oddly, it looked like Jason was hit by the ray as well, but he appears to be fine. Zordon appears to actually be paying attention for once, as the team is teleported to the Command Center, where Zordon tells Jason that the only way to unfreeze the others is to get some random flower and he's already sent Trini on the quest. Wait, what? This is a brand new monster, how does Zordon know about the cure already? And when did he have time to tell Trini this at all? We call fish.

Goldar tells Squatt and Baboo that Rita will be pissed at them for creating a monster without permission, but when Rita wakes up she's proud that they managed to do so well. Jealous!Goldar is awesome. She immediately sends Shellshock back to Earth, having made it grow so that it can better trash Angel Grove. Even better, Shellshock makes a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles joke. Win.

While Jason goes to battle Shellshock on his own, Tommy is at the Youth Center showing off. Apparently "Class" was a codeword for "wanting to show off." He isn't wearing his communicator either, so he doesn't hear the cry for help. This will be consistent with Tommy's character, so we can't add fish for it.

Meanwhile, Trini is still searching for the random flower, and Zordon tells her he is sending her the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord to help her, and all sense leaves this episode. Apparently the Zord gives her the ability to summon a flower? Or telekinesis? We really have no idea, except suddenly the flowers are in her hand. I hope it actually gives her telekinesis, that's the mutant power I would want if I could choose. Whatever it is, the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord would be really useful around Mother's Day, because finding decent flowers is hard. Tommy is finally done showing off, so he answers his communicator and goes to join the battle, but almost immediately both zords get frozen by Shellshock. He's doing pretty well for himself!

But wait, the battle isn't over yet! Trini, who still can't stop jogging, leaps to the top of Shellshock's head and... shakes the pollen on it? Apparently allergies save the day, as the Zords and the other Rangers are all unfrozen, and Trini is no longer compelled to run. Jason shoots the monster once, and it explodes. We're not sure if we should give him the credit for blowing up the monster, or Trini, for covering it with pollen. I'm inclined to say Trini, because allergies suck.

Now that they've defeated the monster, Zack and Tommy still haven't figured out who gets to claim Jason for themselves, or who has to pay for lunch, so we return to the basketball game. There's some more trash talk, and Zack wins! He starts making fun of Tommy, but then Billy interferes, and QueenRiley starts squealing because Billy is going to play basketball. Billy unleashes the greatest trash talk ever ("It's time for my vernacular spectacular veracious(?) bodacious autophonic morphinomic jam") and does a slam dunk, and the episode ends.


We have to go with 3.5 fish for this one. Okay, so the monster gets beaten by a pollen allergy, but that is still amazing. Most of the fish comes from the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord helping summon the flower.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in various hot dog related things.

Billy speak: Billy's awesome trash talk, as quoted above.

Questions that need to be answered: If the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord lets you summon flowers, what do the spirits of the other Zords do?