Episode 329 - Beware the Mutiny

Previously on Lost Galaxy - FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH.

Or, in other words, the writers remembered the title of the season and were like "SHIT, we need to actually have the title be relevant to what's going on. Um. Crap."

So somehow they're in some lost galaxy, which doesn't actually make any sense, because how do you LOSE AN ENTIRE GALAXY especially when a) people can get in with a book and b) people are already living there. What the hell, writers. Just send Daniel Jackson and SG-1 to investigate, okay?

Trakeena is all "they've entered the lost galaxy" which apparently a) everyone knows about and b) is the most mysterious place. Trakeena doesn't want to enter the galaxy, and I've decided that the galaxy is secretly inside the M'Kraan Crystal, mostly because I feel like linking to X-Men stuff.

Apparently there are no stars to navigate by or something, and I'm pretty sure this means that there are no FAMILIAR stars to navigate by, because we can clearly see stars. Also, apparently everyone can breathe in space or whatever. The commander and Mike get a vision of some old man warning them never to look back, except it seems Mike and the Commander never left the ship, and the fish are strong with this one. Even the clocks are wrong, and it seems like time is moving backwards. I'm sure that the MMPR kids can sympathize, but at least it doesn't seem like we're getting baby!Galaxy Rangers, although I would be totally in favor of that.

Somewhere else, we meet Captain Mutiny and his ship of Pirates. I approve of Space Pirates, and I'm already shipping him with Divatox on general principle. For some reason they're referring to their own galaxy as lost, but they live there and clearly know where they are, so I don't know why they're calling it that. I'll give Mutiny credit, his ship is pretty damn cool. And we get a bunch of pirate jokes.

The Commander and the executive board of the ship are talking about how to get out of there, when Mike is all "um, there's a castle on a dinosaur coming towards us" which may be the greatest sentence ever said in the history of this show. Seriously, that is why I watch Power Rangers, because we get castles on the backs of Dinosaurs. Anyway, the pirates are rowing in space and apparently they can breathe in space, The Starship Trooper armor is out in full force, which is nice.

Mutiny is all "I come in peace" which is clearly bullshit, but he gives them a gift of sparkling coins. Stanton tells everyone to be at ease, because he's a moron.

Seriously, why are they still calling it the Lost Galaxy. THEY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. Mutiny offers a way to send them home, but they have to go to his planet. BECAUSE IT IS CLEARLY A TRAP, but Stanton is all "we have no other choice" so he sends Mike to go retrieve the machine.

Karone is all "everyone is an idiot, this is too easy" because she is the greatest. The Rangers go to spy as Mike picks up the package, and they decide to investigate. And we find out that Mutiny keeps slaves. You guys, canon slavery. I will totally take all the bad and wrong fic where the Rangers are slaves. They figure out that whatever is in the box will make Terra Venture slaves. However, they get spotted by another slave, who begs them for help, giving away their position.

Cue monster attack. Fight, Zords, etc. The amount that I don't care can't be expressed in words. Could we instead talk about the AU where the Rangers get captured as slaves? WAY more interesting and if anyone wants to write a bad and wrong fic that would be great.

Oh, and Deviot shows up and drains the energy from the nearly defeated monster or whatever.

On Terra Venture, they open the box that was given to them by Mutiny even though they know NOTHING ABOUT IT, because they are idiots and even as the Rangers are running and yelling them not to open it, it is too late and a GIANT UGLY MONSTER that somehow fit in a box that is clearly smaller then him shows up and burrowed underground. WORST SECURITY EVER.

I guess that's supposed to be a cliffhanger or something. Whatever.

Fish: FIVE. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

Episode 328 - Enter the Lost Galaxy

Oh hey! The show FINALLY remembered it's title! We start off with some guys wearing glasses, clearly meant to be scientist/geeks, analyzing a bit of the book. They translate some text and start chanting, but it sparks some blue energy that wipes out ALL power in the entire colony. ALL OF IT. You'd think once they realized they were causing the pretty blue sparks with the chanting, they'd STOP SAYING IT. But no, they had to cut off power instead. Mike says they're replacing transformers as fast as they possibly can and OH SHOW! OH SHOW! Space travel does NOT work like that. At one of the sites of the transformer, an ancient dude wakes up from a cave. He morphs into one of the power workers and manages to pull a yellow hard hat out of his ass (not literally, but it came out of NOWHERE and he just nonchalantly puts it on his head). The Head Honchos are discussing Plans. Ancient Shapeshifter Guy is wandering around and nobody questions why he's poking in the science area and not out fixing transformers (oh show... transformers... really?). He goes to take the book, but Kai and the Space Colony Police stop him. Worst. Security. EVER. Seriously. They take him to the Head Honchos instead of straight to a holding cell and I have NO IDEA why. Because they are clearly vying for that golden Worst Security award, I guess. They eventually take him to a holding cell and he tells Kai that he needs help to recover the book, because it doesn't belong. Kai is all "Uh, dude? Really?" and the guys is all "Cause you're the blue ranger, duh". Apparently the guards standing RIGHT THERE didn't hear. Whatever. Clearly they had their training in Angel Grove. Kai learns it is his destiny to help return the Galaxy Book to where it belongs and he takes that information to the other rangers. They think it's a Trakeena plot. Kai believes him. Especially when he takes him breakfast and finds him sweating thick blue... something. Question. Why is NOBODY wondering where this guy came from? How did this ancient guy get awoken from a long hibernation ON A NEWLY BUILT SPACE COLONY????? Clearly I am throwing too much logic into this. Kai leaves with the guy in R.A.L.F.. The guy gives him some protection trinket things and runs away. Kai STEALS THE FREAKING BOOK AND NOBODY NOTICES. This really is the worst security ever. Geez. And of course, Kai gets attacked. Because Deviot knows everything? Or something. But it's okay! Because Ancient Guy gives Deviot an intense smack down. Except he really can't live long outside of his galaxy/book/wherever the heck he came from, and dies in Kai's arms. The job of guarding the book has now passed to Kai. And he fails in his first two seconds, because Deviot has the book and starts calling forth all manner of dark things. His plan is to lose the galaxy? Except there is already a lost galaxy so... is this a second galaxy he wants to lose? Can you really lose two galaxies? Or is he trying to make sure the first lost galaxy stays lost? And how does one even go about losing a galaxy in the first place? It's not like your car keys or spare change or that darned coupon that you know is about to expire and you want to use but can't remember where you put it. It's a freaking GALAXY. And can it really be lost if there is both a book giving directions to said galaxy (and people know where this book is) AND there are people living in this galaxy? I mean, clearly it's not lost to THEM. They know right where they are. Anyway Deviot is now really powerful and strong and looks kind of creepy and Predator like. There is a boring fight where the rangers basically get their asses handed to them, even with all the shiny toys. And I really don't care about the fight, okay? They do manage to take him out in the end, but the book is going all kinds of crazy with the wind and the blue lightning and it's kind of weird. When it all dies down, the book is intact, but there are black scorch marks all over the ground. Kai picks it up and starts to read it but had to be pulled away by Leo. He hears voices. They start to take the book back, when they are suddenly surrounded by space and galaxies they don't know and nobody knows what's going on. So Kai recites a poem. Because he knows where they are, now that he has all that super book knowledge. They're in the lost galaxy. Oh hey look! The lost galaxy! Guess it isn't lost anymore! Or is it? Can they still call it lost if they are there? Existential questions of life, brought to you by Power Rangers. 5 fish. OMG SO MANY FISH. How did the guy get on Terra Venture? How did the guards not hear that Kai is the blue ranger? How did nobody see Kai steal the book? Why continue chanting when it's clearly blowing out your power? WHY DOES A SPACESHIP RUN ON TRANSFORMERS? THE FISH, YOU GUYS, I COULD NOT SEE MOST OF THIS EPISODE BECAUSE THE FISH JUST KEPT GETTING IN THE WAY.

Episode 321 - A Red Romance

Today on Power Rangers, Leo forgets about Kai for a little while because he saves a girl. A pretty girl is riding her bike, crashes, and flies through the air. Leo catches her before she hits the ground. Her brother freaks out and attacks him, but she's able to explain. Meanwhile, Trakeena is employing a female monster thing. She looks like a purple body builder with blonde hair. But she's powerful, so that's cool. Back on Terra Venture, Bike Accident Girl's brother fixes her bike. Leo is there, for some reason, and admires the guy's dirt bike. Why the guy has a big garage on a small space station with limited space, I have no idea. But he lets Leo ride it and there are stupid tricks and it's corny, so that's okay. Bike Accident Girl likes Leo. Leo backs into a barrel because he's smitten too. Bike Accident Girl's Brother is less than impressed. Bike Accident Girl (who's name is Ginger apparently) sets up a date anyway and Leo tries to show off, then trips on a tennis ball. He's adorably bad at this whole "impress girls" thing. He should just stick with Kai. She has a good time. He has a good time. And the date ends without a goodbye kiss. Oh Leo. REALLY BAD AT THIS. Of course, there is a monster attack and Bike Accident Girl gets captured. And Leo has to save the day. Because she's incapable of running away or saving herself, of course. Leo has to go tell The Brother and it does not go well. Overprotective Brother is very overprotective. (but I totally get behind him loving and caring for his sister... good brother in that regard anyway) And then Overprotective Brother (who is Colby, but I like Overprotective Brother better) blames Leo for everything, even though it wasn't Leo's fault. Leo tries to hug him, which is adorable, and Overprotective Brother will be having none of that. It's very sad and full of man pain. And I kind of want to smack them both. Because, y'know, she really ought to be capable of taking care of herself. Stop holding her back, guys, and let her be her own person! (and they're both kind of having issue with this) Overprotective Brother confronts the monster so he can rescue his sister. That doesn't go well either. Leo mopes for awhile and is all Emo. Alpha tells him about the monster attacking Overprotective Brother and instead of letting Alpha call the others, Leo RUSHES IN TO FIGHT ON HIS OWN. Because he's a freaking IDIOT. But then he jumps, unmorphed, in front of a blast meant for Overprotective Brother and I don't care anymore because that is my THING. And now I ship them. Let them be assholes to each other. And then there are rangers righting and it's boring. And apparently badass female monster is only badass because of her necklace and not because she's actually powerful all in her own right. *sigh* Stupid show. They fail at the whole secret identity thing (seriously? "Leo called us!"? Really guys?) and Overprotective Brother demands his sister and refuses to let the rangers fight and it's just... bad. They fight anyway. There are lots of dirt bike fighting and racing and it makes no sense. They release the prisoners, Leo rushes to Ginger at the same time as Colby and then has to stop himself. Meanwhile, the monster grows and they have to call out all the toys (they totally win, duh). Everybody else runs away. Colby and Ginger just kind of stand there. Because they are clearly the smartest, right? Big huge monster right in front of you and you STAND STILL? Seriously Leo, go back to Kai. You'll be happier. Battle over, Ginger thanks Leo for trying to save her. Colby won't talk to Leo. He's pouting. Ginger talks him into going to apologize, so he rides his dirt bike to catch up to Leo who left all of 30 seconds ago. Why he didn't just run out the door I have no idea. Whatever. He apologizes. They have about ten times more chemistry than Leo/Any Girl. I still think he needs to go back to Kai. 4 fish. I alternated between bored and angry with this episode. That is not a good combination.

Episode 293- Countdown to Destruction Part 2

Today on Power Rangers, things are BLEAK. And then they are totally awesome.

So everybody has been captured and people are being led away and others are just kind of gathering together. Astronema comes down and informs them the rest of the universe has surrendered. She now rules EVERYTHING. She is seriously the BEST EVER at everything. The rangers aren't coming, they failed, and the rangers are hiding among them. She wants them by the following morning. Her ultimatum? It's the rangers or the whole planet is destroyed.

People actually argue this. Nobody knows who they are, but nobody knows why they aren't helping either. Then Bulk is AMAZING. He stands up and gives everybody hope... because the rangers have never let them down before. They'll be there. Bulk, how are you so awesome?

The rangers have gathered around a small file. They don't know what to do when Zhane comes stumbling up. He just barely escaped and he confirms the rest of the universe really did cave. They need a plan. Andros wants to go talk to Karone. The others try to talk him out of it, so he tries to sneak away instead. It's the only way to save everybody, even if it means losing himself and his own life. Ashley catches him, but decides to let him go. There is a tearful goodbye.

The following morning, Astronema accuses the rangers of sacrificing the whole planet because they didn't show up. She asks for the rangers one last time, but nobody will give them up. She's about to destroy everything when BULK STEPS UP AND SAYS HE'S THE BLUE RANGER! AND THEN SKULL IS THE BLACK RANGER! AND WE GET A PINK RANGER AND A SILVER RANGER AND YELLOW RANGER AND RED RANGER AND THEN EVERYBODY IS A RANGER AND OMG IT IS SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE THIS EPISODE! Citizens of Angel Grove, you win everything. Astronema is going to destroy them all, but the rangers stop her. Carlos, Cassie, Zhane, Ashley, and TJ stand on a wall, out themselves, and then morph in front of everyone. They will go down fighting before they let the Earth be destroyed. OH SHOW.

Bulk and Skull lead the charge of average humans into the fight, because they won't give up. It is the stuff of legend. Seriously.

Andros screws up some stuff on Astronema's ship in order to lock Ecliptor in a room and then goes to look for her, not knowing she's not there. He finds Zordon and they have a heart to heart. Evil has taken over everywhere. There is no way to stop it. Unless Andros shatters Zordon's tube, killing him in the process, but sending a wave of goodness across the universe and destroying all evil. Andros starts to, but can't bring himself to do it. It's a big sacrifice.

Astronema shows back up on her ship and confronts Andros. There is an epic fight. She is determined to kill him and he's determined to save his sister. She won't listen, though, or doesn't want to. The fight is seriously amazing. Andros has to deflect a blast back to her or die instead. She falls to the ground, unconscious, and he fears he's killed her. Ecliptor is PISSED. That's his little girl. Daddy won't stand by and let his little girl get hurt, so his anger fuels the fight. Ecliptor, you're such a good Daddy.

Zordon finally convinces Andros to destroy the tube. It's the only way. Zordon pulls the duty card and Andros finally does it. He shatters the tube. Zordon dies as a wave of goodness sweeps across the entire universe. The evil, including Ecliptor, turn to dust. Those with goodness in them turn human, including Rita and Zedd. Zedd asks Rita to dance, because they are still in love. Divatox turns human, back into Dimitria's sister. Unfortunately, the rangers powers leave them. They won the fight, Earth is saved, but the powers are gone.

They are sure Andros died up there, until Astronema's ship comes down to Earth. They think she's won, that they really did lose after all, until Andros comes walking out of the hatch. He's carrying his sister. Ashley is happy but dude, this is NOT the time for a joyous reunion. He killed Zordon. He thinks his sister is dead and he did it. ALL THE FEELINGS, SHOW!

He puts her down. He cries the fakest tears of magical healing ever and she wakes up as Karone, healed and happy and healthy and not the slightest bit evil. They won! They really won. Mind, Zordon is still dead, and it's really him that won it for everyone. But wow. Just... wow!

They head to KO-35 to help clean up a bit, restock the ship, take some supplies back to Earth. They are invited to stay, but they're homesick. They just want to be back on Earth. Andros decides to stay, however. It IS his home, after all, and it's not fair to ask him to give that up right after he gets it back (Ashley, I'm looking at you Little Ms. Guilt Trip).

He falls for it, though, and he and Zhane board the ship at the last minute to go to Earth with them. Earth is going to be a little crazy with the celebrity hero worship thing, guys. You might have should have stayed on KO-35 for awhile.

Guys, THIS is how you do a finale. BEST FINALE EVER. No series has managed to live up to it since.

1 fish. BEST EPISODE EVER IN EXISTENCE.

Episode 285 - Silence is Golden

The episode begins with Andros and TJ crossing the Blue Psycho off the big board. I love big boards! They're so much fun. Andros is worried that this is the calm before the storm or something. Back on Earth, Cassie is shopping. This just makes me really want to write the fic where Kim takes all the Pink Rangers shopping. Poor Cassie has allergies, which is sad. :(

Meanwhile, the Psychos are memorizing the Rangers' voices. Astronema tells them not to kill the Rangers, but to capture them instead, no matter how much energy it takes. Ecliptor tells her that its risky, but she's sure that her awesomeness will carry through. I approve!

Seriously, if Astronema would just carry out her own plans instead of delegating, she'd have conquered Earth already.

The Psychos go down to Earth and turn into humans and they start scanning around Angel Grove, listening for the Rangers' voices. Psycho Red is pretty hot. WE ARE SO OLD. This is the days before cell phones, so Ashley is using a pay phone. She's talking about getting a gift for her dad. Psycho Yellow immediately goes after Ashley, but instead gets the woman in the phone booth after her. I am really not sure how they got there after Ashley had left the booth. They seemed to be moving fairly quickly. Ashley hears the woman scream, and then overhears the Psychos explain about the voices. Ashley heads back to the Megaship, leaving Cassie behind, and they have to figure out how to contact Cassie.

If they could text, this would not be an issue. Instead, we get a pager. Awww, pagers. I seriously feel so old. SO OLD.

Apparently Cassie can't talk, can't use her communicator, and can't morph. Okay, so now I have questions. How do they usually get back to the ship? I'm guessing it's not teleporters. Do they morph and take the Galaxy Gliders? RIDICULOUS. Why can't she go morph in a corner and instantly get out of there? THEY CAN USUALLY DO THAT.

So Cassie is put into situations where she has to talk. She avoids thanking a guy for getting her bags when she forgets them, and she gives a cranky old guy a flower when he demands an apology for her bumping into him. But then she sees a baby carriage nearly get knocked down some stairs so she screams. The baby is saved, but the Psychos are being creepy and corner Cassie.

Then a poorly disguised Zhane clown shows up. What the fuck. He rounds the corner and then suddenly the Psychos hear Cassie's voice and they chase after it. Cassie runs into the rest of the Rangers, and they morph and fight the Psychos and SERIOUSLY, I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION. I'm guessing recordings of Cassie's voice taped from somewhere?

The three psychos turn into even more monstrous forms, because apparently this ridiculousness is what they actually look like, and THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THE WORLD. Then the Psychos grow and I am not giving a shit at this point. The three Psychos are beating up the Megazord so Zhane shows up with another toy.

They thought they'd destroyed the Psychos, but apparently not. Instead, the Psychos try to drag them into a vortex or something. The Rangers are all "We need to abandon ship!" but Andros is pulling a Tommy and is all "WE DO NOT ABANDON OUR ZORDS." Luckily, Adam has clearly warned Carlos about this, because Carlos hits Andros and makes him leave. They escape just as the MegaVoyager gets dragged... somewhere.

Dark Spectre whines to Astronema about his missing powers, and she promises that she's looking into it. Also, Astronema of Borg has hidden the Megazord somewhere, and she starts to tell the Psychos her grand plan.

Fish: FIVE. SPACE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 258 - When Push Comes to Shove

JOHNNY YONG BOSCH HUGGED ME AND EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

Oh right, recap. So.

Cassie, your HAIR.

I love that she scrapbooks. Or has a diary. Or whatever. It is very charming, I'll give her that.

Meanwhile, the professor is showing off his new fuel, with which he is going to send Bulk and Skull to find aliens. Look, for the millionth time, ALIENS ATTACK THE CITY EVERY WEEK. Meanwhile, some reporter is causing a panic about the fuel exploding, which of course the professor nearly knocks over, but then BULK SAVES THE WORLD. Astronema is then thinking about knocking over the building that the professor's lab is in. Astronema, bb, I love you, but why not just shoot Bulk so he drops the bottle? (Not that I want her to shoot Bulk! BULK IS AWESOME.)

Ashley and Cassie are discussing their dreams, when Cassie suddenly realizes that she lost her diary, (Ashley tells her to calm down) which contains a picture of her as the pink ranger (and then Ashley tells her IN THAT CASE, DON'T CALM DOWN), and this is where I have a RAGE BLACKOUT. She's bothered by two guys named George and Lenny (REALLY SHOW) who then blackmail Cassie into a date.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

Lenny does not look comfortable with this whole situation, but WORD OF ADVICE. IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE, BLACKMAILING THEM IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DO IT.

George is really obsessed with talking about how great Lenny is. I am shipping George/Lenny a bit. George is monopolizing the date so Cassie makes him go get her a soda. Cassie is all "I WILL FIX LENNY" which is frankly stupid, because HE BLACKMAILED HER INTO GOING ON THIS DATE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIX A BLACKMAILER. HE IS NOT JUST SOME CHARMING MISUNDERSTOOD AND MISGUIDED GUY. HE BLACKMAILED YOU WITH YOUR DIARY. THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF DOUCHEBAGGINESS.

This episode would be much improved if the "push came to shove" part was Cassie shoving them off a cliff.

Lenny promises to give Cassie her diary back at the end of the date. IF HE WANTED TO BE A DECENT PERSON THEN HE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DIARY BACK WITHOUT MAKING HER GO ON THE DATE AT ALL.

Anyway, the restaurant that they're eating in turns out to be the same building that the Professor's lab is in, so of course Astronema is knocking it over with some elephant monster. Lenny refuses to leave without Cassie, but then he gets knocked out by falling debris.

Carlos and Andros are flirting over chess when they get summoned to fight.

Somehow Cassie and Lenny get locked in with the radioactive plutonium reactor.

Andros summons the new toy to get them. Cassie is about to morph to get out of there, when the Rangers finally show up. The Rangers defeat the monster.

Lenny and George show up, and Lenny says he can speak for himself and offers Cassie back the diary, and Cassie says he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. He says then she wouldn't have gone out with him, and she says all he needed to do was ASK. NO CASSIE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUT WITH EVERYONE WHO ASKS YOU, AND YOU ESPECIALLY DO NOT NEED TO REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR WITH A DATE.

And then she makes Ashley go out with George.

NO. NO NO NO NO NO. YOU ARE A BAD FRIEND. Lenny may have learned not to be an asshat, but GEORGE HAS NOT, AND YOU DO NOT SET UP FRIENDS WITH ASSHOLES. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH BOY TROUBLES.

Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.

Episode 229 - Vanishing Act

This episode begins with Bulk and Skull meeting with the godfather and lying about their resumes. Sadly, it all goes downhill from there. Science does not work like that.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WIN SOME SORT OF PRIZE. I don't know WHAT PRIZE, but you win SOMETHING.

So instead of soccer, this time we're playing basketball. Then suddenly everyone vanishes. Nico gets an extra special all by himself vanishing, because he's special to the Rangers.

At the Youth Center, Cassie and Ashley are discussing boys, and that's ridiculously adorable, and they are so BFF, and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed like pink rabbits to deliver cake, and then they vanish. Except first we see them in their underwear.

The Rangers try to go to the Power Chamber, but there are only ROCKS where the power Chamber is supposed to be. And then we see Alpha and Dimitria in the Power Chamber, except now there are ROCKS IN THE POWER CHAMBER and the Rangers are walking through consoles and through Alpha and apparently the city is intangible as well as invisible? Except the Power Chamber isn't IN Angel Grove and I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

So the Rangers go to the lake and then they get attacked by invisible Pirahnatrons, and they morph, and I hope nobody was around but invisible. Except they can see the Pirahnatrons' footprints? And they get beaten up and one of the invisible Pirahnatrons gropes Justin and that's just wrong.

So the Phantom shows up and saves them and he's very protective of Cassie and CASSIE, TJ IS RIGHT THERE. THERE IS NO CONTEST. (Shipping is serious business.)

Somehow they can see the reflection of Angel Grove and the Pirahnatrons in the lake, and there's more fighting, and they split up and it's all REALLY BORING and we spend most of our time shouting about HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK and then they're driving around looking for the monster but only Cassie can see him and she keeps giving TJ bad directions and WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Were the writers HIGH? Did the fish actually materialize and just WRITE THIS?

Then Ashley decides they should use the gun function of the Turbo navigator, and then she combines her gun function with TJ's and somehow that makes Angel Grove reappear and then there's a Zord fight.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Back at the Youth Center, Ashley is all "So you have a crush on the Phantom Ranger" and Cassie is all "I wish I knew his name" (which is totally Billy Cranston, for the record) and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed as superheroes to sing happy birthday to Cassie, except then they end up in their underwear again.

Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED.

Episode 228- The Phantom Phenomenon

Today on Power Rangers, we meet The Phantom Menace Ranger.

Justin is playing soccer with his little boyfriend Nico. He's actually pretty good, which is surprising since he only just started playing. He kicks the ball over the fence and into the woods, where Nico goes to retrieve it. He finds a spaceship and immediately gets Justin to show him. Fascinating!

Bulk and Skull are back on the force, or at least private duty security guards, and end up guarding a bank. Where Elgar is trying to steal money. And Bulk doesn't even notice. They are REALLY bad at this. We still aren't sure why Divatox needs Earth money. Coming out of the bank, Elgar is attacked by something invisible and thwarted in his robbery efforts.

TJ is smart and figures out they need to view the security camera footage to figure out who their little helper is. Cassie sees it off in the distance, but she can't describe it and nobody else saw it. Justin has a theory, but he's not going to tell. It probably has to do with the spaceship Nico showed him that should have come from Aquitar and been Billy.

Bulk and Skull are apparently weirdness magnets because as soon as they start guarding the coal mine (what the ever living fuck???), Elgar shows up. The Rangers go to help but the Phantom thing attacked Elgar first and he runs away. Cassie sees him in the sideview mirror of a truck and tries to find him. She's becoming obsessed. Oh show.

Demetria figures out he's from Eltar. Justin goes to check out the spaceship again, but doesn't tell anybody else because he promised Nico he wouldn't. Justin... SAVE THE WORLD vs break your promise to Nico? SAVE THE WORLD, SON! Nico is there camping out trying to find the alien. He brought him cookies, awww!

They get attacked by Piranhatrons and Rygog plants a detonator on the ship. Justin breaks free and all the Piranhatrons let Nico go to attack Justin, who tells him to run away. Nico doesn't have to be told twice and books it out there while everything swarms on Justin. He gets enough time to use his communicator to call for help when he's held down. Luckily the Phantom Ranger is there to save the day, get rid of the detonator, and stop his ship from exploding, all while Justin manages to morph mid-fight... which is the only interesting part of this fight scene.

Phantom rescues Nico, saves his ship yet again, and boards it to fly away home. Nico suspects the Blue Ranger is Justin (well, he looks at him suspiciously anyway) because Justin talks around him and golly, Nico is smart enough to figure out the voices. Nico tries to tell the story to other people, but everybody doubts him. Except Justin, who lets his little boyfriend feel all important.

And we end with Cassie missing the Phantom Menace Ranger. *eyeroll* (she should totally be mooning over TJ, not Mr. Invisible)

3 fish. It was... meh.

Episode 217 - Alarmed and Dangerous

Everything about this episode is bad and wrong. BAD AND WRONG!

So it starts out with Kat, apparently student teaching (NOT POSSIBLE), handing out a test to Justin and a bunch of kids who are definitely NOT freshmen in high school. TSB feels this is summer school.

Two big guys try to get Justin to show them his test. He won't cheat. They get very loud and blatant about the desire to cheat and Ms. Applebee boots them AND Justin out of the classroom. Oh Ms. Applebee, we love you, but do not punish the kid for saying "No". They must wait in the hallway until the test is over. Bully-With-Bad-Hair gets fresh and uses Justin's shirt to slide him up the wall. Bully-With-Great-Teeth mocks.

And then there is a fire alarm! Clearly pulled by the bullies. The firemen give the "False alarms keep us from real fires!" lesson and this is really not the episode for that, show. This is supposed to be the bully episode. Do not confuse your Very Special Episode messages, mkay?

At the Youth Center, Adam and Tanya are training. Tommy is beating the shit out of a punching bag. TANYA ACTUALLY PAYS FOR SOMETHING! That's two episodes in a row! The fire alarm goes off and Lt. Stone lets everybody stay where they are so he can go check it out. Then another alarm goes off at the school. Ms. Applebee sends everybody home until they can figure out what's going on with the alarm. Meanwhile, the bullies muss Justin's hair a bit.

Fire alarms are going off around town. The rangers chase them down. Justin tries to talk to Kat about the bullies and says he might fight them. She says that's a bad idea. Then they discover it's Piranhatrons setting off the alarms and they rush to the Power Chamber to tell the others. Nobody knows what is going on until Demetria points out how confused they are which is exactly how Divatox wants them to feel. YOU THINK?

So they split up to find the detonator. Justin gets caught in the park by the bullies. Bully-With-Bad-Hair pushes him around and actually kind of hits him a little, and then Justin throws him against a table and climbs over him with his fist up. But he doesn't hit him. Instead he just says he doesn't want to fight and runs off. They chase! Bully-With-Great-Teeth points out that he's fast and they've lost him. Bully-With-Bad-Hair suggests they split up. Justin has climbed a tree and as soon as he's noticed by Bully-With-Bad-Hair, he slips and starts to fall. He teleports out and the branches fall, which the bullies poke up, but don't seem to care that THE KID JUST VANISHED IN FRONT OF THEM.

At the Power Chamber, Kat lectures Justin about using his powers for personal gain. Frankly, I think not killing himself falling out of a tree justifies the use of the powers. He mentions the bullies and instead of being HELPFUL, Kat tells him he's smart enough to figure it out on his own. THIS IS NOT HOW BULLIES WORK. ANYWAY.

They find the detonator on a fire truck. Instead of making things go explode-y, it turns the truck into a monster. Which the rangers ride downtown and let it destroy a couple buildings. Then they blow it up and the firemen are safe. I... don't get this part. Whatever.

HERE IS WHERE IT GETS REALLY REALLY BAD AND HORRIBLY HORRIBLY WRONG.
Justin comes across Bully-With-Bad-Hair in the hallway of the school. BWBH taunts him about running home to Mommy and Daddy, to which Justin replies that he doesn't live with his parents right now. Bully-With-Bad-Hair hasn't seen his father in 2 years. He's a bully because he doesn't have a dad? Really show, you went there? Not having a dad (or mom) does not a bully make. *grrr* (and let's not even get into how Bully-With-Great-Teeth just vanished from existence in this show... what's his story?)

AND THEN! And then they sit down all melancholy and Justin offers to tutor Bully-With-Bad-Hair so he doesn't have to cheat any longer. BWBH says he basically forgives Justin for narking on him, since Justin can't lie and apparently the bully wouldn't either. BWBH is amazed Justin would tutor him, and Justin says "what are friends for?" AND REALLY SHOW?!?!??! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE BESTEST FRIENDS FOREVER WITH THE GUY WHO JUST TRIED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU SORT OF KIND OF HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON. THIS IS NOT RIGHT, SHOW. NOT RIGHT AT ALL.

Here's the thing... I was bullied as a kid. Bad. Really bad. Like, permanent damage kind of bad. So I really feel for Justin this episode. But it was written HORRIBLY. It does not have the best moral ending. It does not actually DEAL with the bullying and instead merely brushes the LET ME KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BECAUSE I'M BIGGER HAR HAR HAR aside. I do not like this, not one tiny little bit.

5 fish. It just... made no sense. AND IS ALL THE BAD AND WRONG.

Episode 184- Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise

This was almost as boring as the last episode I recaped. No, really. It was bad.

So Kat is apparently in a surfing competition against some champion high schooler from Stone Canyon. I... don't buy that she's a surfer. Sorry, I just don't. She is definitely not of the "surfer mindset".

But I can't complain too much because it means we get Lifeguard Rocky! Continuity FOR THE WIN! Even though he's not running around shirtless. I'll take it! Plus David shows up (yay David!). He's still hot. He's sporting a partially grown in goatee. This somehow makes him even MORE attractive. *swoon*

Mondo brings back Leaky Faucet to contaminate the water supply. He succeeds! The water is gross and when Adam and Tanya try to have a quick drink after sparring, they immediately recognize it as being contaminated with cog oil. Tanya loudly announces this. LOUDLY. Secret identity, Tanya, means you're not supposed to know what cog oil is or smells like, mkay?

They get Billy to test the water and sure enough, it's cog oil. They discover cogs trying to get the oil into the oceans and go to try and stop it. Except they're beaten, badly, and Tanya screams for Adam (really show? REALLY? SHE DOES NOT NEED RESCUING, MKAY?). They fail and the oil makes it to the water.

Back at the surfing competition, everyone on the beach notices the rapidly growing spill of NEON GLOWING GREEN TOXIC WASTE. Everybody, that is, except Kat who is still in the water. Zordon contacts Tommy and tells them to get everyone out of the water. David suggests the Power Rangers make an appearance and, despite standing in front of a large outcropping of easy-to-hide-behind rocks, Tommy says there are too many people around. He sends Rocky to take care of the people on the beach while he and David swim out to get Kat.

A toxic wave knocks them over, however, and Kat fails to resurface. They eventually find her and she's disoriented and needs rescuing. What is WITH this episode? The girls are not incapable of taking care of themselves!

So they get to shore and everybody morphs and goes to fight Leaky Faucet and it's really really boring. Like, REALLY really boring. They win, with Trey's help of course.

Somehow Billy got rid of all the cog oil in something like 2.5 seconds with nobody else noticing and nobody wondering how he did so. Because he's Billy.

In a shocking turn of events, Kat loses the surfing competition. Meanwhile, David is very hot and includes Rocky in his "congratulations" antics. David/Rocky? Yes, please.

Fish: a toxic 4. They were everywhere!

I have no clue what the title of this episode has to do with the episode itself.

Episode 177- Trust In Me

So due to a very inconsiderate Spousal Person who feels the need to rile up the Small People right before bedtime, and right in the room I'm attempting to recap in, I missed about half this episode. Luckily I've watched it a lot... mostly because it involves Rocky being awkward, inept, and PRETTY.

The title of this episode always makes me feel icky- skin crawling icky- and that kind of sets the tone for the rest of the episode.

So there is a lot of fail in this episode. Rocky spends a good chunk of it trying to help the Poor Blind Girl when really all he needed to do was try to be her friend.

We start off with Tanya, Rocky, and Billy (OMGSOMUCHPRETTY on my screen) heading towards a Martial Arts Expo at the Youth Center. They've heard talk of an amazing young woman who can take down three attackers at once. And sure enough, she does. In under a minute. Everybody claps because that was really impressive. Then they discover she's blind and everybody claps harder. Because... she's blind and did something awesome? Is that really a surprise, show? *sigh*

So Rocky introduces himself, Tanya, and Billy. Because he really likes this young woman. Billy compliments her style and asks where she learned how to fight like that. She automatically assumes he's asking because she's blind (and I guess I can't blame her, I'm sure she gets that A LOT), but honestly... knowing Billy... it really just sounded like an honest inquiry into her martial arts school. But then they all fall over themselves to help her pick up her bag and I can't excuse THAT. She can pick up her own bag, guys. She's blind, not in a vegetative state.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are trying to pass the undercover test and are hiding in plain sight from Lt. Stone. He manages to miss them each and every time.

Rocky first tries the worst apology ever ("Sorry you were offended by what we did" is not an apology, dude) and she once again blows him off. He's totally smitten, though, because he gives her googly anime eyes while she reads a story to Tiny Children (in the high school?). Then he catches her in the park, gives a somewhat better apology, and she decides to give the poor guy a break. He's being REALLY awkward. It's... kind of cute, actually, and apparently she appreciates the effort.

As they're walking, she hears a strange noise. As she's asking him what it was, his communicator goes off. He tells her he's going to go find out what the noises were, and I give him credit for at least not outright lying... he DID go find out what the noises meant. I guess Rocky figured out how to answer without really answering, since he's probably the second worst liar of the lot (there is a reason we have a 'Tommy is a lousy liar' tag).

He ends up morphing and going to fight a monster. The others quickly join him. The thing is, the monster doesn't really want to fight. He wants to be friends. The rangers end up near Penny and she immediately places Rocky's voice. He has to demorph and go hang with her for a bit before he gets away again to observe the monster.

The monster ends up being attacked by cogs and Rocky jumps in to help. Because he's Rocky and he's sweet and, just like his far-into-the-future fellow blue ranger Flynn, he just wants to HELP people. Except Mondo is controlling the monster and manages to up his aggression, so he attacks the rangers. Rocky gets to fight this one solo! Tommy even lets him use his Defender Wheel (Flynn did it better!) to blow up the monster.

Back at the Youth Center, Lt. Stone is hitting on two women. In actuality, it's Bulk and Skull in drag. *bangs head against keyboard* Meanwhile, Penny can pick Rocky's voice out of the all the Rangers, but she apparently can't place that any of the others had been there. I'm guessing she got some fish in her ears.

3 fish. It wasn't too bad, but it really could have been better.

Episode 175 - Found and Lost

Previously, on Power Rangers - Tommy has a really hot brother. And a magic arrowhead.

Jason David Frank is Native American, and from what we understand he had a lot of say in these episodes that introduced his real life brother, but... um... see, the thing is? A lot of the parts involving his heritage are still pretty sketchy. There's a lot of stereotypes used, but we're giving it a pass, since it is JDF's heritage. Still, something to think about.

Anyway, the episode begins with Tommy and his brother (David Trueheart) discussing their past. David was adopted on the reservation by Sam Trueheart, but for some reason Tommy was not, and he was adopted somewhere else by a couple that probably doesn't even know that David exists. The boys bond some more, and then David tells Tommy about their massive responsibility that has something to do with the arrowhead.

Back at the Youth Center, Adam and Rocky are sparring! Yay!!!!! We sit back and enjoy the pretty for a little while, and then Tommy and David show up. Tommy introduces David to everyone (although really, Tommy, you should probably not go up to your sorta girlfriend and say "there's someone I'd like you to meet") and they're all happy that Tommy has a brother. For some reason, people keep saying that Tommy and David look really identical. Well, there's a family resemblance, but I wouldn't call it seeing double, for real. Bulk and Skull decide this is suspicious, and they will perform a background check on David, even though they know nothing about computers. Then they realize they forgot to feed Rito and Goldar, and also they didn't lock the garage, so they head home to do this.

I am really uncomfortable with slave!RitoandGoldar, but I would desperately love Rito/Goldar fic set during this.

Anyway, since Tommy and David are brothers, they must totally share the same interests, so apparently David is also totally into martial arts. This made us laugh a lot, because I have almost nothing in common with my younger brother, ditto for QR and her sister. So Tommy and David spar, and Tommy wins, and David gets really pissed off. He's a sore loser, and that takes away some of the hotness factor. It's suggested that Tommy embarrassed him, but what? He should have let David win? Whatever.

The Machine Empire starts discussing how one of the Rangers has a sibling and now they should capture him! Wait, seriously? Tommy is the only one of them with a sibling? All the Rangers are only children? Frankly, I call bullshit on this. Since I still stand by my Rocky has younger siblings theory. Some of the Rangers need to have siblings. Seriously.

When David stormed out of the Youth Center he promptly gets kidnapped by Cogs, and apparently Mondo also wants the Magic Arrowhead. However, Tommy has that. The Rangers all head to the Power Chamber, and Billy can't find David anywhere on Earth, and Tommy suggests other planets, which somehow gets an answer that they're scanning all known dimensions? Are other planets in a different dimension now? Is Angel Grove its own pocket universe?

However, David isn't on another planet. He's just in a cave. With cave paintings. Oh, show.

Anyway, Mondo sends down a monster that can turn itself into a ball and can bounce off Zords, so the fight is like watching a game of pong. It gets really old, really fast. The Rangers retreat. I guess Tommy learned a bit from the Thunderzords blowing up.

Back at the Power Chamber, Billy scans Tommy's magical arrowhead, and can't detect any power from it. Tommy takes it back, and then somehow astral projects to see David in a cave. Then Tommy has a vision of Sam Trueheart, who astral projects into the Power Chamber and tells Tommy about how the cave is really dangerous. Okay? How did Mondo know to select that particular cave? Whatever, there's a lot of fish starting to pile up.

The only way to stop the bouncing monster is to combine the Zords. Unfortunately, the way to do that requires Tommy to clear his mind and concentrate. This... is not going to end well. And it doesn't, because Tommy can't get his shit together, and the Rangers have to retreat again. Everyone splits up, with Tommy going to look for his brother, and the Rangers to go deal with stuff, while Billy tries to figure out a way to bypass Tommy's brain so everything will work, which just makes us laugh forever.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are putting up fliers looking for Rito and Goldar, when Lt. Stone comes around and tells them they shouldn't be out on the streets due to a monster attack.

Alpha finds David, but for some reason they can't teleport him out, and Tommy goes to go find him. Mondo shows up, and says he will release David if Tommy gives him the magical arrowhead. Tommy agrees, clearly forgetting the other times that villains have tried this. He hands over the Arrowhead, and Mondo laughs at him and calls him stupid. To be continued...

As the credits roll, Bulk and Skull manage to find Rito and Goldar. Or maybe the other way around.

Fish: 4. They were really starting to pile up. And it started so well.

Fic we want: Rito/Goldar!

Episode 176- Brother, Can You Spare An Arrowhead

This episode is really boring.

It's also a time-filler. We get a full morphing sequence, a full Zord summoning sequence, and a full MegaZord combining sequence.

The subplot is the most interesting part, so I'm going to start with that. Bulk and Skull, having lost Rito and Goldar, finally make it home with them. They're hanging out in the garage when the Monster Sirens give them the all clear. How much do I love that Angel Grove has Monster Siren? Lt. Stone tracks them down to the garage and they scramble to hide Rito and Goldar. Lt. Stone tells them they have to take a psychological evaluation before they can be officers. They are to meet him at the Youth Center. Why they're doing a psychological exam in the Youth Center instead of the Junior Police headquarters I have NO idea. The fish (ie, the budget) directed them there, I guess.

So Bulk and Skull see monsters in all the ink blots Lt. Stone shows them. Bulk even says one of them looks like the Putties! He remembers the Putties! He even makes Putty noises! I love Bulk. Lt. Stone looks over their responses. The results? You live in Angel Grove. Unfortunately, that's not verbatim from the episode, but it should have been. Because that's basically what it says. The results are that Bulk and Skull think about monsters ALL THE TIME (duh, they live in Angel Grove). While this means they can't be officers in any other city, because they live in Angel Grove, they are exactly what the Police Force is looking for. So basically? The results: You live in Angel Grove.

Now, the actual plot of this episode? Very boring.

The MUST BE REPEATED BECAUSE REALLY TOMMY? setup: Tommy meets up with Mondo. He's told he can hand over his arrowhead and Mondo will give him his brother back. Tommy's memory sucks because he's apparently forgotten all the other times they've traded powers and valuables to get back hostages, only to have the Big Bad stick their tongue out and go "Nyah nyah nyah boo boo!" in their faces. Which is, unsurprisingly, just what Mondo does. OF COURSE he doesn't give David back. DUH.

Somehow this makes Tommy MORE focused and he's able to combine the zords. Uh... okay? Anyway, he basically just hugs the back of the MegaZord and it makes a bunch of guns out of his arms. They defeat the monster.

Tommy goes to talk to Sam Trueheart because he needs to know what's the deal with the arrowhead. Sam tells him it controls monsters if it's in contact with some magical rock. Tommy is barely listening and it clearly irritates Sam, who tells him David needs to come home now.

David is teleported out of the cave with the monster the cave created and cogs come and grab him. Mondo comes down too, just to taunt the rangers. David is all excited to see them. It's kind of cute. He's all upset that Mondo has the arrowhead, though. Tommy manages to get David away from the cogs and teleports him to "safety", which in Ranger-land means Somewhere Else. David is flipping out because he thinks Mondo has Tommy. Tommy takes off his helmet to show David that no, he's really okay, because he's the red ranger. David is the first person they've outright told that does NOT become a ranger later on.

Mondo finds the rock. He puts the arrowhead on it. Tommy finds Mondo at the rock. Tommy takes the arrowhead. It's... really easy and stupid. Somewhere in there the rangers beat the monster that was created in the cave. It was really boring and I've forgotten most of it already, a whole 15 minutes after watching the episode.

Back at the Youth Center, David is emoting all over his glass of water. Tommy talks to him and they try to figure out what to do with the arrowhead. They could just take it to Sam Trueheart, y'know, David's adoptive father, the wise man that bestows all kinds of wisdom on them all the darn time. Instead they both hold it and it magically separates. Mmkay.


4.5 fish. It just piled up everywhere.

174- Challenges

Last time on Power Rangers- the world is relying on Tommy's brainpower to save it. We're all DOOMED.

So in the Youth Center, now cleared of Native American works of art, Ernie has decided to bring in Lt. Stone, aka "The Rock", to give free boxing lessons. Adam is all "Free boxing? I'm there!" and Rocky is all "Boxing? Really? But your pretty pretty face?". But Adam goes to sign up anyway, with Tanya's encouragement. They start with the basics... jump rope. We now want a massive crossover with Jump In. We must wonder why he always wears sweatshirts (okay, TSB wonders... me, what do I know of fashion? He looks fine to me. :P) Is it because JYB did his own stunts and they were trying to cover the bruises? Such is the rumour...

Meanwhile, Tommy is on his spirit quest. He keeps trying to touch that flying falcon. Apparently nobody has told him they fly TOO HIGH for a person to touch from some rock outcrop. Oh well. He is also chasing the mysterious PRETTY PRETTY YOUNG MAN that appeared out of thin air on the MAGICAL HORSE. Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE this show?

Adam is walking home by himself when he's accosted by the Monster of the Week. Prince Sproket has taken up boxing and they have now sent down a boxing monster... dressed entirely in blue, so clearly he's obsessed with Rocky. He attacks Adam to fight for Rocky's affection. Ranger Rule number 23, after all, applies to non-rangers after rangers too.

Adam calls for help and Rocky, Tanya, and Kat try to sneak off to go help him. Ernie passes them by with boxing gloves and gives them a look that says he clearly knows what they're going to do, but he's pretending otherwise for their sake. Aw, Ernie. Bless. So they join the fight but they still can't beat this guy. Boxing Monster and Sprocket turn Adam into an action figure sized Power Ranger trophy. Sprocket tells them if they win, they'll get Adam back unharmed in his normal size. If they lose, well. We all know what happens then.

They can't do this without Tommy (or rather, without Zords and Tommy has the only working Zord, so... yeah), so he has to leave his spirit quest to go help out. Tommy's Zord fights the Boxing Monster (who's name I cannot for the life of me remember, and I watched the episode all of five minutes ago). It's very Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots. Ah, the memories of my childhood. Anyway, they win. Of course. And for some reason, Sprocket lets Adam go and he becomes actual size again.

Tommy goes back to his spirit quest where there is an earthquake. Oh, Tommy. Stop following your heart. He hears a cry for help and rushes to save the Mysterious Pretty Magical Stranger who is falling off a cliff. The falcon lands close enough to touch, but if he stops to touch the falcon, Pretty Stranger will leap to his doom fall to his death. I do love this about Tommy... he doesn't even hesitate. He doesn't angst. He doesn't question. He just dives and grabs hold of the Pretty Magical Man.

Pretty Magical Man knows all about Tommy. He shows Tommy his own half an arrowhead and, gasp, they match! The tinfoil arrowheads magically combine into one unbroken arrowhead as we learn that David is Tommy's brother. Dun dun dun!

We do not learn anything else about Adam and boxing, which this episode led me to believe it was about.

2 fish. This was also surprisingly low on fish for a Tommy episode!

Fic we want: that crossover, but also a Mystic Force crossover! Or an excerpt from Once a Ranger because... well... Adam and Xander! They can bond.

Episode 172- There's No Business Like Snow Business Part 3

Why do I seem to get most of the science fail episodes? WHY, Power Rangers, WHY???

Last time on Power Rangers- Kim dumped Tommy. Billy and Kat took Tommy to go snowboarding to cheer him up. Billy and Kat tried to force a very nice girl on him.

Mondo has sent down the Defoliater and every time anybody says that all I can hear is the Defiler. Oh Power Rangers. You're a very bad show (or I'm a very bad girl... same difference). They turned this into a Very Special Episode in order to teach kids about global warming. Except they're doing it ALL WRONG. They don't talk about what climate change really means, no, instead they just talk about how it's getting all hot outside. *headdesk*

So Tommy, Kat, and Billy check out and head home. They keep pushing him to stay for Heather, except he's CLEARLY NOT READY GUYS. He tells her they have to leave and he wishes he could explain (seriously, just say there's a family emergency, it's NOT THAT HARD). She's upset but understands and kisses him on the cheek.

In Angel Grove, everybody is OMGSOHOT. In the temperature sense, that is. They call the zords right away and fight the monster. They seem to defeat him, as he claims he's wilting, except he's not REALLY beaten. He's just pretending.

Tommy is still really upset about being dumped, DUH, and Kat knows how to cheer him up. Ernie is closing early to do inventory, so she manages to set up a romantic dinner in his closed Youth Center. She gets everything set up and even dresses up herself. Tommy comes in, confused but dressed in a tux as asked, and is amazed at what she's done for him. Even more amazing, she's called Heather to come down for the dinner.

OMG GUYS, JUST STOP IT. Seriously, these are the WORST FRIENDS EVER. Do NOT push him to date so soon! He's NOT READY. Give him time to move on in a healthy manner. Yeesh.

Anyway, Tommy has to leave early because Kat and Tanya are under attack and can't fight off the monster on their own. Instead of Adam and Rocky helping and waiting to grab Tommy until he was absolutely necessary, they pull him away. Heather is understandably angry. She drove for a really long time to get to that date and he's just abandoning her again with nary an explanation. I'd have left, too.

So they go have a boring fight and beat the monster. For real this time.

Kat and Tommy sit at the fancy dinner and she apologizes for it not working. He thanks her for setting it all up and she says she just wants him to have somebody to make him happy again. NO, KAT, JUST NO. REBOUNDS ARE A BAD IDEA. So her favourite song comes on and Tommy asks her to dance. Queue the beginning of the Tommy/Kat romance.

5 fish. Just... ugh. At least it's over?

Episode 171 - There's No Business Like Snow Business - Part 2

Previously, on As The Rangers Turn, Kimberly has left Tommy in a letter, possibly for another woman. Adam, Rocky and Tanya are off negotiating their own relationship drama, while Billy and Kat attempt to be the Worst Friends Ever and the people of Angel Grove are falling in love with Cyclons. Confused? You won't be after this episode of Power Rangers Zeo!

So, Professional Snowboard Who Is Really Bad At It is dangling precariously off the cliff. Tommy, Kat and Billy all stand around wondering what they should do, while the answer is obviously have Kat morph and grab her, since Heather didn't see Kat. While they stand around doing nothing, the other three Rangers call and are all "Hey, everyone is falling in love with toasters and blenders, get back here already" but they can't leave Heather, so Adam, Rocky and Tanya go fight on their own. A bunch of other people show up on the mountain top, even though this is supposed to be the hardest course, and they just give Tommy their jackets, so that he can then dangle precariously off the edge of the mountain so that Heather can grab hold. Why he just doesn't add his scarf or that thing on his head to the chain of jackets, I don't know. But they manage to bring Heather up safely, and then Tommy and Kat claim they have to go be somewhere, and they just teleport off.

WORST EXCUSES EVER. They are on top of a mountain, where are they supposed to be???

Anyway, the Rangers summon the defender wheel, and then they summon the Zords and they destroy Robo Cupid. So instead, Mondo decides he will unleash the power of Global Warming, by which we mean he's going to make Angel Grove really hot.

This episode is really boring, I almost want there to be more Tommy angsting over Kim.

Instead, Billy and Kat decide to be the Wost Friends Ever and start trying to set Tommy up with Heather, even though he is clearly not ready. (He just got dumped yesterday) and also, rebound relationships where one person is just trying to use the other to get over someone is REALLY SHITTY.

Back in Angel Grove, Adam and Rocky spar, and it is really pretty. *shallow* Why do we not see them spar more often? Then everyone complains that it's really hot, and yet Adam is wearing a sweatshirt. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Anyway, Billy and Kat claim they have stuff to do and Tommy goes off with Heather. She takes him to a very picturesque part of the mountain, and they talk, and then Heather is all "So hey, your friends told me about Kimberly. Want to make out now?" Tommy, to his credit, is clearly not having it.

Also, we're assuming that the Billy and Kat constantly going off together is where that particular ship came from? We don't really get it.

So, Zordon calls and insists the Rangers come back to the Power Chamber immediately, because... we don't know? So Billy and Kat interrupt Heather and Tommy (who are about to go see a snowboarding movie, because heaven forbid Heather have any interests outside of snowboarding or Tommy) with a "Hey, we've got to go do an activity. Ready?" So Tommy stands Heather up, and she sulks. The end.

This episode was so boring. SO BORING.

Fish: 4. It would probably be 5, except Tommy's angst was actually pretty realistic, so we'll knock off a fish.

Episode 167 - Instrument of Destruction

Double recap tonight! To try and make up for being so behind.

There are not enough words to express how much I love this episode. It has so many things I love! Adam is a writer! Bulk and Skull have character development! The cogs are completely hilarious! Basically, the only way it would have been better for me would be if Adam made out with either Tanya or Rocky. (Or both.)

So! The episode begins with skipping Cogs, who are doing their best to replace the Zputties in my heart. They are skipping to the beat of mysterious piano music. Apparently the only other person in the school is Adam, who chases them through the school, trying to figure out a) what they're up to and b) what's with the music. It turns out that they've been sent by Sprocket, since it's Queen Machina's birthday, and he and King Mondo need a present. Clearly, some people appreciate good music. The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player runs away, and then the Cogs run away from Adam.

Later, the Worst Guidance Counselor Ever (Ms. Rodriquez) confronts Adam in the hallway, and says she wants to make some changes to his schedule. It seems that he's already taken creative writing twice (and he points out that he got an A in it both times) and she wants him to be more well rounded, so she's changed his schedule so he's taken classical music. Adam does not look too pleased, and Bulk starts mocking him, and Skull joins in at Bulk's urging, CLEARLY overcompensating for something. Tommy and Kat defend Adam (who really looks annoyed - I would be too!) and say it's good that he's branching out. Except it wasn't his choice.

I'm not really sure why Worst Guidance Counselor Ever is changing his schedule in the middle of the semester, or why she gets to do it without consulting him, but that is why she's the Worst Ever.

By the way, this episode is entirely responsible for my fanon that Adam's real career is scifi/fantasy writer, and that he just runs a dojo in his spare time because he can.

Anyway, it turns out that Skull's schedule is also changed, so he shows up in the classical music class, and gets to play the drums, while Adam plays the piano. I find it necessary to point out that Jason Narvy is ridiculously hot in this episode. We get to meet ANOTHER new teacher named Mr. Hams, but he keeps managing to mix up his word order, so I'm just going to call him Mr. Music. He says that there will be a recital that they can go to for extra credit after school that day, and then tells them to play around with their instruments. Adam plays chopsticks. For some reason, everyone is really impressed.

Later, Adam turns down a chance to go to the youth center with Tommy and Kat because he has to go practice the piano. Except then he hears the same music and the Cogs show up, so they all morph in the middle of the hallway, and a hilarious fight scene occurs. Adam dances with a cog! Then he surfs on one! It's amazing. But The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player gets away again.

I'm not sure why they morphed in the middle of the hallway though. I mean, there have to be a ton of people around. And doesn't Angel Grove have security cameras, or did Billy set up a program to delete the evidence? Who knows.

Adam goes to play the piano, playing something way too advanced for a beginner, and then finds a note in the keys that says piano lessons at the symphony at 4:30, so he assumes it's The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player, and goes chasing after him. Jackpot! The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player is there, but he's surrounded by Cogs. So, as The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player faces him, Adam morphs. He is so bad at this secret identity thing. He defeats the cogs, and goes back to the school, where he unmasks The Mysterious Cloaked Piano Player. It's Skull.

There is some seriously amazing acting on the behalf of Dr. Jason Narvy here. (Speaking of him having a doctorate, I so want the AU where he's the mentor for the DT team, but more of that waaaaaaaay in the future.) Skull didn't tell anyone because he doesn't want anyone to laugh at him! He's afraid that Bulk won't love him anymore! Skull needs ALL THE HUGS. ALL OF THEM. Adam encourages him, and it's completely adorable, and they should totally go make out a lot.

Anyway, Skull goes to his piano lessons, and Mondo turns a piano into a monster, and there are some awful music related puns, and there's a fight where Adam gets captured and Tommy has to rescue him, and then they call the Zords. And the Defender Wheel. And their jet cycles. I guess they were really trying to plug all the toys this week. Monster is defeated, so we're going back to the important part, which is how Bulk and Skull are freaking awesome.

That evening, all of the Rangers are attending the recital, even though Adam is the only one who is getting extra credit. Mr. Music announces that there's a late addition to the program, and then can't believe that Skull's name is on the list. Everyone in the audience is completely horrible, except for Adam, who starts clapping. Skull comes out, and he's all dressed like Liberace, making him my favorite forever. Everyone is shocked at how awesome he is, and they keep talking during the concert. FAIL.

Then Bulk comes in, asking who the dork is, until he sees it's Skull. He's practically moved to tears. When Skull finishes playing, he let's out his trademark laugh, and then gets a standing ovation, which he totally deserves.

Bulk comes up to Skull, and Skull looks terrified. Bulk asks why Skull didn't tell him, and Skull says that Bulk said that music was for dweebs. Bulk tells him that if he said that, he was wrong, and oh my god, so much character development. Bulk grew as a person! Because he loves Skull!

Seriously, this episode is amazing, and they need ALL THE HUGS. ALL OF THEM.

Fish 2: Worst Guidance Counselor Ever. Also, that was some major secret identity fail.

Episode 164- Invasion of the Ranger Snatchers

So this episode is the trippiest episode EVER. Like, it's even trippier than A Clockwork Orange, okay? And I'm glad we did this tonight, a day late, instead of last night, when we usually do, because I'm not sure I could have handled this supremely awesome and yet uber-WEIRD episode on the last night of Chanukah (in which there were piles of latkes and roast chicken and beer and gelt and dreidel and presents and very pretty candles and my new favouritest holiday story EVER, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming).

I... don't know if I can explain this episode.

Rocky, Tanya, and Kat are going to be extras in some movie/tv show/filming production of some sort. Rocky wants to be the star, though, and swears up and down he can act, he really really can, and I can't help but combine character and actor here because, no, Steve, honey, you can't. You really really can't. But you're VERY pretty in your blue not-really-a-toga and you have VERY lovely arms, so I can forgive the horrendous overacting. I'd watch him walk around in a toga any day of the week. Ahem.

Moving on. Bulk and Skull get placed on guard duty for said film production. Skull wants to be in the show, but Bulk keeps him on the straight and narrow. Daw. Sprocket, in his ever annoying whine, wants to make a movie of HIS OWN. So, despite the nails-on-a-chalkboard-grating whine, he comes up with a really good plan. He's going to make a movie, and trap the rangers in it! Good thinking, kid. Drop the entitled whinging, and I might actually like you.

Cogs end up at the production site to kidnap Rocky, Tanya, and Kat. Except everybody mistakes them for extras in costume and, despite Rocky trying to warn them, Director Guy puts them on set. They try to take out the main actor hero guy, but Rocky steps in and saves the day. Because he's AWESOME like that. He calls for Kat and Tanya, who have remained completely oblivious during all this (I maintain they were back behind one of the trailers "getting to know each other"). They run off set and morph, really failing at that secret identity thing.

Meanwhile, at the Youth Center, Billy has been super sweet and created a workout program for Adam and Tommy, using their biorhythms or something like that. It gets increasingly difficult based on what their bodies tell his program. There is lots of gratuitous rolling and sparring and then they get called to help the others. Billy goes to the Power Chamber to investigate while Adam and Tommy go to fight cogs.

Except somehow they get sucked into Sprocket's movie. Where they sit on a weird Alice in Wonderland room for awhile. Nothing can get in, and nothing can get out. They agree to play along with Sprocket's plan because, well, nothing else is working I guess? But it's just... ODD. Like, I can't even begin to explain what happens.

Somehow there is a room where things happen. Then Tommy and Tanya have to go do something through a doorway in another section of Sprocket's "movie studio". Billy gets a message through, and Adam declares that he must find Tommy and Tanya in order to live happily ever after. And a new threesome ship is born. So they all find each other.

But then they find chickens! Which came through a portal of some sort. Because a bus in the "real world" pushed them through. So the rangers all go through the portal. Into the "real world". Where they end up on horses chasing the bus. There are children crying in the bus, except there are no passengers on the bus whatsoever, which we discover when they all jump through the bus windows. They jump OUT of the bus holding onto adult passengers that came out of nowhere, and the bus goes over a cliff and explodes. The people vanish. But they're in the real world now? Or they think they're in the real world? I don't... um... yeah.

So they all think they've rewritten Sprocket's script and they get a happy ending and they're free. Except they're attacked in really bad splicing by four monsters. And they call the zords, which they shouldn't be able to do if they were in the movie world, but then what happened with the bus couldn't have happened in the real world so... fish? Definitely fish. Oceans and oceans FULL of fish.

I just call really bad FISH trip for the whole rest of the episode.

At some point the four monsters end up being a train, which they defeat by destroying the tracks. And that destroys Sprocket's plan and they win for the episode. Somehow.

Look, I said I didn't know how to explain this episode! And I meant it. It's seriously like they were all on a really bad acid trip when they tried to write it. We're just writing it off as a lot of fish and the rangers changed the plot of the episode. So there.

So back on the actual movie set, Rocky is all excited to do his first stunt. But this is where Rocky learns about stuntmen. Because he doesn't get to do it. His stand-in does. Meaning Skull. AWWWWWWWW.

I... am not quite sure what I just watched. But it was fun!

Fish: 5. 5 5 5 5 5. I haven't seen such a confusing, bad trip in... um... ever.

Episode 135 - A Different Shade of Pink Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Kat proves that she is wicked awesome by breaking the spell placed on her by Rita, and Kimberly falls off a balance beam.

We begin in an episode of ER - Kat called an ambulance, which rushed Kim to the hospital. Kat explains to the doctors that Kimberly fell off the beam and hit her head. If you watch the episode, it is clear that no, Kimberly did not in fact hit her head, but we guess for dramatic purposes she needs to have a head injury.

And then she wakes up and has amnesia and thinks she's dating Billy. Who wants to write me that fic?

Anyway, Kat feels guilty that Kimberly is hurt even though a) it is not her fault and b) she was under a spell, which she broke on her own, proving that she is way more awesome than Tommy because she didn't need someone to break a sword to remove the spell. Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd discuss the situation, and agree that Kat's act of supreme goodness has broken the spell permanently.

Back at the hospital, Tommy is on a payphone to Kim's mother in France and we discover that Kim's mother can't get a flight to the states. Billy and Tommy also have a discussion where they finally start to get suspicious of Kat, as they are not sure why she was at the Youth Center so late at night, but they are glad she was.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull & Lieutenant Stone are spying on Kim's coach, as they are convinced he is a spy. Then they get pushed down a laundry chute. Whatever. Kim's coach expresses concern for Kim. Aww.

Adam/Rocky/Aisha are off on a date in the park when Billy calls to let them know that Kim has woken up and the doctor says that she'll be just fine. We don't know why they weren't at the hospital to wait for their friend, but we can only assume they were busy comforting each other. Rito shows up to attack them, and they are very annoyed at being interrupted. It's Ninja Ranger time!

... Ok, we clearly entered the Twilight Zone or something, because Tommy is being really sweet. He brought Kim a bear! He expressed concern! We are not yelling at him to shut up! What madness is this? Why am I suddenly thinking Tommy is being good for Kimberly? My worldview is shattered. SHATTERED. Zordon calls and interrupts the moment and expresses his concern for Kim, who is sorry for worrying him. Zordon was actually paying attention for once, and the SCT are being overwhelmed. Billy and Tommy morph in the hospital room and then teleport straight out of there. Secret identities they are doing it wrong.

Kat comes into Kim's room and confesses everything while the other Rangers are fighting. She is all concerned that they will hate her forever for what she did while under the spell. In further proof that we've entered the twilight zone, two amazing things happen - continuity and characterization. Kimberly (and then the other Rangers) tell Kat about how Tommy began a Ranger, and how strong Rita's magic is, and that they could never hate her for what she did. It is actually really touching, and someone should write me Kim/Kat fic. Kim also says that she is not going to try out for the competition anymore, she's done with gymnastics. Everyone is confused by this, even though it is obvious that Kim is just terrified after falling. Characterization, you are doing it... quite well! Good job, show!

Rita and Zedd are now officially annoyed, so they send down some garbage monster to kidnap Kat. The monster gets them when they're all leaving the hospital, and the Rangers morph and the monster just stands there with Kat until she escapes. Then they call the Shogun Zords, which at one point get trapped in a garbage can, but they immediately break out. It's pretty dull. Except they have a flaming sword! I approve of that.

Rita confronts Billy/Kat/Tommy at the lake and tell them that if they don't turn Kat over to her, then they will destroy Ninjor forever. He is still trapped in a bottle, even though he has managed to get out of bottles before.

Why Rita doesn't just kidnap Kat while she sleeps we... really don't know.

To be continued!

Fish: 1 Any fish we had were counteracted by the characterization and continuity of awesome in this episode.