Episode 273 - A Date With Danger

So um. I have mentioned I really like the villain/Ranger thing, right? (See Goldar/Jason, Scorpina/Adam, Scorpina/Aisha, eventually Trakeena/Damon and Lucas/Nadira...)

Yeah, so Astronema/Zhane is TOTALLY on that list.

Which is why I'm recapping this and not Queenriley, who just informed me that if she was doing it, the recap would consist of "BUT YOU CAN'T MACK ON YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND'S LITTLE SISTER! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!"

Instead I will talk about Astronema/Zhane and how they should have really great sex.

We open up in a fight scene. That's usually not a good sign, but Zhane and Astronema flirting/fighting is great, especially when Zhane tricks Astronema into shooting her own monster. He tries to attack her and Zhane comes to her aid, because... she's hot?

Meanwhile, the other Rangers have destroyed the other monster, and we hit theme song. Such a good theme song.

Zhane has apparently taken Astronema to a secluded spot in the woods. He's ditched the helmet, built a fire, and propped her staff up against the tree. Then she stares at his ass for a minute, and then pretends to sleep again. And then he brings her something to drink, which she promptly insults.

Zhane is sad that she doesn't like his cooking. Meanwhile, Astronema is all "I could destroy you right now" and Zhane is all "here, let me show you how to toast marshmallows with your staff."

Astronema, honey, if you don't take him, QR and I will fight over him.

Astronema tells Zhane that they're still enemies, and then thanks him for saving her. We get some more shots of his ass. SO GREAT.

Back on the megaship, Carlos and TJ are goofing around, and Cassie and Ashley are all excited that star crossed lovers is playing. Carlos has no desire to see it. CARLOS, THIS IS WHY ASHLEY IS IGNORING YOU FOR ANDROS.

Meanwhile, Astronema is daydreaming about Zhane. Because he's dreeeamy. She's too busy fantasizing to be bothered with details about destroying the Rangers.

Back on the Megaship, Zhane is laying in his bunk, with one hand holding up a picture of Astronema, and we see nothing else of him. Gee, I wonder what he's doing?

Then the girls interrupt and drag him off to a movie. Even though he had better things to do. Astronema decides not to send monsters to interrupt their movie and instead goes down herself, ditching the awesome hair. (Note: Carlos thought the movie was romantic. Clearly he was having a lot of fun during the movie.)

Zhane stares at the movie poster and fantasizes about kissing Astronema. Astronema in human!form knocks into him, and causes him to drop his picture. Then she shoots him a LOVE LETTER with his picture of her, telling him to meet her at the campfire at 5.

Elgar and Ecliptor try to figure out where Astronema is, and then they decide to just go ahead with the plan anyway, because they're sure that's what they would have wanted. This interrupts the five main rangers discussion of the movie + food, and this time the monster knows all about their weapons. Because of the first fight.

Back at the picnic spot, Astronema has set up the BEST PICNIC EVER. Zhane has run to the Megaship where he's busy primping for the date. And he's bought flowers for Astronema! But Zhane is interrupted because the monster is attacking and so he has to miss the date. SAD FOR EVERYONE.

Astronema is getting pissed that he's late, and Zhane is clearly trying to get this done as soon as possible. Andros punches Ecliptor and then Zhane knocks off the monster's horns and it grows. Zhane is all "I AM LATE. YOU GO KILL THIS THING." And they do. Which I don't care about, because toys fighting and can we get back to Astronema and Zhane's soap opera, please????

Zhane shows up with flowers, and Astronema blasts him because he's LATE. Now he's all covered in mud. Astronema is mad that he stood her up and he's like "I DIDN'T." Zhane tells her he wouldn't have been late if she hadn't sent down any monsters, and she calls him a liar and says he never wants to see her again. EVERYONE HAS A SAD NOW.

Back on the Megaship, Ashley gets elected to find out what's wrong with Zhane. She fails, so Andros tries. Zhane just makes a sadface at him. When he fails, Cassie tries, but he just walks away. SUCH A SAD, ZHANE.

Back on the satellite, Astronema crumples up her picture of Zhane, but she can't make herself throw it away. BECAUSE OTP YOU GUYS. THIS IS SO GREAT.

Fish: 3 So how did they get the pictures of each other anyway? How did Zhane manage to set up the campfire that quickly? How long did it take for Zhane to fight the mosnter and be late? (I DON'T CARE HOW MANY FISH THIS HAS, IT IS SO GREAT.)

Fic we want: ALL THE ZHANE/ASTRONEMA. SECRET DATING. MY FAVORITE. Also, Astronema being pissed at Ecliptor for screwing up her date.

Episode 129- A Ranger Catastrophe Part 2

Just to let you all know, there won't be any recaps next week, because I'm going to Disney World! Our regular schedule will resume when I get back.

Previously, on Power Rangers - Aisha and Kim are the worst cat owners ever, and is sad. Yes, the Kat era has begun, which means that Kim is leaving, and I'm going to pout, because Kim is made of total awesome. However, I like Kat, so it's all good.

So, Tommy and Kat are all kidnapped, and the other Rangers are watching in the viewing globe as he loses consciousness. Why he passes out, we don't know. Billy spouts some sort of technobabble that we didn't quite catch and didn't really qualify as Billy speak about how they need to increase something to penetrate the shield.

Up on the moon, Rita summons Kat back to her, and Rita with a kitty is the cutest thing ever. Rita is a much better cat owner than Kim and Aisha are. And cat!Kat is a very tolerant cat - most of my cats would not submit to being handled in that fashion.

Goldar wants permission to go fight Tommy, even though we know that Goldar is just using him as a poor substitute for Jason, and then Zedd and Rita argue over the cat, and then send Rito down to fight the Rangers.

Seriously, when there's a Zord fight this early, this is a sign that there are bad things to come. I mean, Billy gets to say the morphing call, which is awesome, and we get to see the individual zords fight again, and then the Rangers beat Rito without Tommy, proving that they are awesome and don't need him.

At the Command Center, the Rangers watch as Goldar and Tommy fight, and then Billy comes up with a plan to rescue Tommy, but they need to head to Billy's garage. (For fun sexy makeout times.) On the way there (and why they didn't teleport directly to Billy's garage, I have no idea. I guess the fish made them do it) they run into the Kat monster. The other Rangers are summoned, and they fight Kat, and then Billy and Adam go to the garage to finish doing something.

A conversation-
QR: does [Billy's] father never venture into the garage?
TSB: not after he caught Billy and Trini having sex on the couch in there, no
QR: AHAHHAHLADSKJF
TSB: see, I even said Billy and Trini instead of Billy and Kim, just for you :P

Back in whatever dimension it is, Rito has joined the fight. There's too much Tommy in this fight, and not enough bromance of evil. Billy figures out how to do something, and then the Rangers all hold hands and somehow this teleports Tommy out, and then they summon Zords again to fight the Kat monster. Ninjor shows up, but we guess he left his snark behind, because it's a really boring fight.

After the Kat monster is destroyed, the Rangers find Kat hanging out in the park. She tells them some sort of sob story about how scared she was, and everyone thinks she's really hot. Also, turns out that this episode takes place during summer vacation! That at least explains something.

There is no mention of Kat's car. I guess a fish ate it.

The episode ends with Aisha finding cat!Kat again, and ignoring her glowing green eyes of doom.

Fish: 2.5 It's not awful, but there were a few moments that just made us yell fish.

Episode 89 - Goldar's Vice-Versa

Warning - potential triggers

Oh my God, you guys, I love this episode so much. I have so much fanon in regards to this episode, and I'm going to do my best to try and keep all of my ridiculous theories (Scorpina/Adam! Adam/Rocky/Aisha!poly relationship) to the point that they aren't entirely overwhelming the recap. Since you know, there's an actual plot. (Switching with wouldn't help, because I have just as much headcanon for Mirror of Regret.)

Anyway, we get a new opening, and there is much flailing as we take in the shots of the Stone Canyon Trio, and then some booing as we note that THAT SHOT of Kim is still in the opening. If I had any skill of editing vids, I would totally redo this opening so that the whole Kim fainting thing was not in there. But sadly I don't.

The actual episode begins, and apparently Rocky stole a pair of Jason's pants. Well, that isn't the important thing. The important thing is that Rocky and Adam are sparring, and I love them both so much. Seriously, so pretty. I would watch 22 minutes of them sparring.

Sadly, the demonstration is quickly over, and Billy shows up, and Adam and Rocky are disappointed that he missed their demonstration. Billy apologizes, saying he had a meeting with the vice-versa dance committee. Wait, Billy is on a dance committee? Really? Shouldn't that be Kim?

While we're boggling at that, Rocky explains the concept of a vice-versa dance, saying it's nice that the girls have to ask the guys. (Oh, honey, please stop trying to act. You're so lucky you're pretty.) We don't know why they didn't use the term Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Rocky says he's been invited to go by Jessica Peterson, who will never be mentioned again. Adam is sad, because nobody asked him to go to the dance and he doesn't expect anyone to. It is entirely possible that my response was "Oh honey, I would go to the dance with you." It is entirely possible that there were more caps involved. Billy tells him to cheer up, because nobody has asked him yet either. Cue an appearance of Laura from that really boring episode involving the Angelettes or whatever. We liked Marge much better. She asks Billy to the dance, and he is pleased. So tactless, Billy.

Bulk and Skull are hiding from the amazing female bullies, who want to ask them to the dance. We absolutely love the female bullies. Do they have names? Is there fic about them? We would like them a lot better if the show didn't show some fatphobia again, but we're going to ignore that, to go back to the drama about Adam's love life, which I find way more interesting.

Adam is still sulking about not having a date. But honestly, he just moved to Angel Grove a week before, so it isn't that unreasonable, especially since he's really shy. And since Aisha never has a date in this episode, I maintain that the only reason he doesn't ask her is because he and Rocky have both agreed not to, and Aisha seems really invested in finding him a date.

Up on the moon, Zedd has decided that HE will find a date for Adam. You know, Zedd's matchmaking service would actually be pretty awesome. I'm really not quite sure what his plan is, but in my head it basically goes "Have Adam hook up with Scorpina. Seduce Adam to dark side. Profit." Of course, the show fails in execution, but it is still so awesome that I don't even care.

The next day, Aisha (in a really adorable little yellow dress. The fashion is so much better this season) shows up at Adam's locker to ask Adam if he's found a date yet. He says no, and he'll probably just stay home and read. (I love that he's a bookworm. Also, so adorable. Also, they were so about to kiss.) Aisha tells him that is not acceptable, and asks if he knows Sarah Diaz. He says yes, she's on the volleyball team, and he is then instructed (Aisha is very good at bossing him around) to go to the park after school, and Sarah will ask him to the dance.

Meanwhile, over at Skull's locker, Bulk is all excited because someone slipped a note in his locker, telling him to meet after school, as the note writer has what he is looking for. Bulk asks Skull (who is inexplicably wearing an eyepatch) if he knows what this means, and Skull rightly says that someone has his locker combination. Bulk instead points out that it means that someone knows the true identities of the Power Rangers!

After school, Adam looks at Sarah from atop a hill, trying to work up the courage to talk to her. He starts listing things about her "pretty, smart, athletic" and he seems calm enough, until he gets to "female" and then he panics. Oh, Adam. We know, you wanted to go with Rocky. Zedd is horrified, because if Adam gets a date, it will ruin everything. So he sends down a giant group of putties, and man, JYB is really good at this. This was an awesome unmorphed fight scene. There should be more of these. By the time Adam is done dusting all the putties, Sarah is gone, and he is sad.

At the school, Bulk and Skull nervously look out the door of detention, only to see the female bullies are standing there. They are both terrified, and they decide that they would rather not know the true identities of the Power Rangers than face the girls. Instead, they go out the window.

Later, Adam is sitting at a table, bitching to Kim and Aisha about his girl problems. I would totally read an entire fic of the three of them gossiping about their boy problems, why doesn't this exist yet? Kim is sympathetic, but then leaves, and there's a minor commotion, because there is a martial artist who is doing something, and you know how Angel Grove feels about martial arts! Adam and Aisha both fail to recognize the girl, and therefore assume that she's new, even though they've only been in Angel Grove for a week or so.

After she's done performing, the girl walks directly to Adam, introduces herself as Sabrina, and then shoves her gym bag in Aisha's face. She says she's new, and then goes on to compliment Adam's martial arts skills, in a blatant attempt to get in his pants. However, she's made one fatal miscalculation, and she's annoyed Aisha. Really, Scorpina should know - if you Adam's lover, you gotta get with his friends. Adam is totally taken in by her. He makes plans to go on a hike with Sabrina, but since Aisha doesn't seem convinced that she's acceptable, Adam invites her to go along.

Look, the thing is, this is a date. Adam is going on a date with Sabrina. And he invites Aisha along. There are only four possibilities here. 1-Adam is unaware this is a date. 2-Adam is too clueless to see that bringing along Aisha on a date is completely unacceptable behavior. Possibly because he's new to the idea of dating girls 3-Adam and Aisha (and Rocky) are in an open relationship that has all sorts of rules, one of them being that Aisha and Rocky have to approve all other potential partners. #4 Adam and Rocky were dating, but are just too nervous to go to a dance together, and that Aisha just wants both of her boys to be happy. (I would totally read fic about ideas #3 and #4)

While this drama is going on, Ernie hands Bulk and Skull a note saying that "We still have what you've been looking for" and that instructs them to wait five minutes. But almost immediately, the female bullies come in, and Bulk and Skull hide behind the counter rather than talk to them. Bulk and Skull completely fail to put two and two together, but we do get to hear the thin female bully refer to Bulk as her "hunka-hunka-Bulky-love" and then I fall over laughing. That was amazing.

On the actual date, Sabrina is all pissy that Adam brought Aisha along, and I honestly can't blame her. But Adam basically tells her that he and Aisha are a package deal and Sabrina sulks. Zedd, however, is completely pleased, because he gets two Rangers for the price of one! So Goldar goes down to attack them, and while I'm discussing fish, why is this episode called Goldar's vice-versa anyway? I mean, seriously.

So Goldar shows up, and Adam tells Sabrina to run, but she refuses, and instead laughs and turns into Scorpina, mocking him. (Have I mentioned that I kinda ship Adam/Scorpina, in a bad and wrong type way? Because I do, in the same way I ship Goldar/Jason. It is entirely possible that I've got a 20,000 word fic in the works. I don't even know.) Adam and Aisha get tied up with the glowing rope of bondagey doom, and they are unable to reach their morphers! Oh noes! So they are both tied to a tree while Goldar and Scorpina stand laughing over them. (I am going to write bad and wrong fic about what happens next. Unless someone else wants to.)

Anyway, at the Youth Center, Kim and Billy are preparing for the dance. Ms. Applebee shsows up, and Kim tells her how excited she is that Adam is going to the dance with the new girl. Why is she talking to the teacher about this anyway? But apparently Ms. Applebee knows everyone in school, even though we've determined that Angel Grove is its own country. Apparently the last new girl in school was Aisha, and Kimberly and Billy are suspicious. A few seconds later, Rocky and Tommy show up, asking if they know where Adam is, since he was supposed to be sparring with them, and he's late. Um. How long have they been gone? How long as Adam expecting the date to be? How has Zordon not noticed? Why are the fish suddenly attacking my amazing episode?

So yeah, they go to the Command Center, and Zordon checks in on them, only to discover that oops, they've been tied to a tree. Zordon FAIL. Rocky doesn't know who Scorpina is, but he is very concerned about his girlfriend and boyfriend. Tommy explains Sscorpina as being "bad news" and just saying that he's glad that they haven't had to encounter her before. The SCT have been Rangers for like a day, when were they supposed to encounter her?

Anyway, there's a big rescue attempt, and Rocky is very concerned for Adam and Aisha. Tommy fights Goldar and Scorpina by himself since he's a glory hog, and Billy uses his mighty lance to cut Adam and Aisha free. Aisha is really pissed at Scorpina, and she gets to say the Morphin call, which pleases me.

Zedd has Goldar and Scorpina grow, and there's a long Zord summoning sequence, and I don't actually care about any of this part. Can we get back to Adam's love life? No? Fine. They summon Tor, and the combination of that Zord makes no sense at all, but I'm just going to ignore it. I mean, I fail to see how standing on top of Tor gives extra power or whatever. But Scorpina and Goldar teleport out, and I'm fairly sure this is the last time we see Scorpina, which is sad. I want so much more fic about her and Adam. Or her and Aisha. I'm just saying, make this happen, internet!

At the dance, Adam is all by himself, as is Aisha. They should be going together. Adam says it's not as bad as he thought, being here alone, and Tommy makes a joke about how he could have been here with Scorpina. Also, Tommy can't dance.

Sarah shows up, and Adam asks where her date is. She says that she doesn't have one, and Aisha pokes at Adam and demands that he ask her to dance, which he does, and he's really dorky and adorable and I kinda love him. (But um, the point of this was for the GIRL to ask the BOY. That is NOT HOW IT WORKS.)

Ernie goes over to Bulk and Skull, and hands them another note, and tells them that he's not their assistant. This time, the note says to turn around, and directly behind them are the female bullies! Bulk and Skull ask them what they could possibly have that they want (and at this point I fall over laughing again) and the girls reply "true love!" and begin to dance with Bulk and Skull.

Somehow while this is going on, Billy and Rocky have ditched their dates so that they could stand by the other Rangers and laugh at Bulk and Skull.

I love this episode SO MUCH.

Fish - 3. A few things made us pause and rant, but overall this was amazing.

Fic people should write us - SO MUCH ADAM/SCORPINA. Also, Adam/Rocky/Aisha discussing this episode. And the Adam/Kim/Aisha gossip hour.

Episode 86- Zedd Waves

Oh man I love this episode. The monster, thematically, makes no sense. But he's just so great that I don't care!

So we start off with a LOVELY shot. It's the Stone Canyon Triathlon happening in what looks like Angel Grove Park. So either they share the park on their borders or Stone Canyon doesn't have a park of it's own. Or it's a plot device. I'm leaning towards fishy plot device. Anyway, back to the awesome scene. So it's the Stone Canyon Triathlon. And of course our SCT (Stone Canyon Trio) are taking place in the SCT (Stone Canyon Triathlon). And first up is the swimming portion. So our lovely lads and lady peel off their shirts and we ogle appreciatively.

It took us awhile to notice the storyline here. Ahem. Apparently at some point they talked about the peace conference and how only really smart kids get to go. They think Billy is a shoe in but don't know what they'll do with one ranger down.

So Bulk and Skull are sitting in a boat on the middle of the lake and using some energy reader thing to detect the energy readings of the athletes. Bulk's hypothesis is Power Rangers will emit more energy than regular humans, so his device should pick them up. Not sound logic, there, Bulk, but you're adorably excited about it so I'll let it slide. Skull, meanwhile, is fishing. He's caught something big, he thinks, and Bulk ends up distracted from his energy readings by the potential of a whale. They both fail at bringing in anything and end up in the water. Meanwhile, Zedd steals Bulk's energy reading device and Skull's fishing pole. Upon resurfacing, Bulk comments on the missing pole and notes that Skull's dad is going to kill him... again. Skull apparently would rather drown himself than face his father so he slips below the surface. And now I just want to bring him to my home and give him cookies and take care of him forever. Poor Skull.

So Zedd turns the energy device into a kind of radio mind control monster. It has nothing to do with reading energy waves nor does it use a fishing pole in any way. A radio would have made more sense, but whatever. He's an awesome monster that speaks as if he's a dj at a radio station, so I'm all for him in this (or any) episode.

He mind controls everybody at the park. Zordon calls for Jason, Trini, and Zack who have just come out of the ocean after scuba diving in footage that is clearly old (and from the Billy is afraid of fish episode, I should point out). Meanwhile, the ranger trio are being attacked by some putties. Rocky, Adam, and Aisha see their distress and immediately abandon the Triathlon (they're on the cycling portion at this point) in order to offer assistance. It puts them way behind, but it's worth it. While the Ranger Trio are fighting alongside the Stone Canyon Trio, the Not On The Payroll Anymore Trio fight the Beamcaster. They are quickly put under his spell and Goldar, on the moon, is giddy with delight at the thought of Jason calling him Master.

The Stone Canyon Trio, after the awesomely synchronized putty fight (synched on the part of the putties, that is), rejoin the race. The Ranger Trio head to the Command Center where Zordon fills them in on the already brainwashed Unemployed Rangers Trio. Tommy is all worried about Jason and Zack but Billy jumps in and pretty forcefully yells "TRINI!" And my little heart goes all aflutter at pretty much the last hint at my OTP.

In the park Bulk and Skull come across a large group of mindless people. They are stumbling around chanting "Lord Zedd" but not really being very productive in... anything. Bulk is then turned by the mind control waves, but Skull is unaffected. He takes a second hit and succumbs but he's all failbot at it and chants "Lord Fred" (Kelman? The Gold Ranger? Nah). So our Ranger Trio find some device of Billy's they can use to block the mind control. They morph (out of order, oddly) and then end up surrounded by the citizens. Billy drops his device and people start stepping on it. Instead of pushing them out of the way, because they aren't DOING anything really, he just lets them destroy it. Then Beamcaster turns his waves on THEM. Billy and Kim succumb to the mind control and suddenly we are faced with an entire team of Zombie Rangers. Tommy is the lone holdout.

He fights Beamcaster and the fakest looking apple that turns out to be a bomb, but even he gets brainwashed. And seriously, I would have pegged him as first to go! After all, when voting for Most Likely to Be Placed Under a Spell, Tommy gets my vote hands down. So our Stone Canyon Trio finally come upon this scene and discover the device. Which Rocky picks up. This draws the attention of the citizens who are now intent on... slowly walking towards them with outstretched arms. The Stone Canyon Trio look on in horror and fear. And then they are promptly teleported out in the first real Zordon win of the season.

Aisha say she can fix the device because she worked at a radio station over the summer. She never mentions this again nor does she ever show her techie talent in any other episode. That job eventually falls to Adam. She fixes it and she and Rocky stand in front of the viewing globe and direct a beam of energy at it. It somehow goes through the viewing globe and breaks the mind control of everybody in the park. I don't know how. It really doesn't work like that. Anyway. The Rangers teleport to the Command Center and thank the SCT. Rocky puts on his HILARIOUS Serious Face and hands the device to Billy. I don't know entirely what happened next because I was too busy laughing at the Serious Face.

Anyway, the Rangers pull out random power weapons and beat Beamcaster.

Bulk and Skull are free and adorable and determined to find out who the Power Rangers are.

The Stone Canyon Trio comes in last in the triathlon. The Ranger Trio, sans the Unemployed Trio, apologize for making them lose and Aisha, while groping Rocky's arm, says it's okay... FINISHING is what's important. Heeee. Meanwhile Adam just stands around being adorable.

List time:
3.5 fish, mostly for thematically inappropriate (yet still awesome!) monster.

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: none, but Bulk and Skull fell in the lake

Episode 81 - Zedd's Monster Mash

Do you know what Saturday is? Saturday is going to be Stone Canyon Trio day! That's right, we have officially reached the point where Zack/Trini/Jason are gone, and we're going to meet their replacements, including my favorite. (Okay, so I momentarily debated asking if we could skip this episode, just so we could get to Stone Canyon earlier. I have a favorite, okay?) If Saturday's posts are filled with all caps flailing.... well, you've been warned in advanced. (Luckily for everyone, will be writing two of them.)

Anyway, it's a good thing we didn't skip this episode, because it was actually really awesome. It's Halloween again. Okay, so this is the first one that officially references Halloween, but costume parties and pumpkin themed tv shows totally scream Halloween to me. But the important thing is to talk about the costumes - Kim is a jester (so glad she's not a princess. SO GLAD), Billy is a mad scientist, and Tommy is a pirate. Ernie is a crazy 20s gangster, and Bulk and Skull are soldiers of some sort. And there are a bunch of tiny children dressed as Power Rangers. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, wouldn't you go as Power Rangers? (I would totally go as a Power Ranger now, so I may not be the most biased person in the universe. In fact, I am totally going to be the Pink Ranger this year, and nothing will stop me.)

In important things that are setting up for the Stone Canyon Trio, Billy and Kim have a discussion about the Torchwood World Peace Conference. They are both excited for it, except they worry what would happen if one of them gets selected for it. Aww, foreshadowing, so cute.

An amazing event occurs! We see the actual parent of a tiny child, who talks about how exciting it is that the teens are going to chaperone their kids on Halloween. I'm just amazed that the show is remembering that parents exist.

Up on the moon, Zedd is all excited about the holiday! It is right up his alley, except something is missing. He needs Tommy. Zedd is totally trying to beat out Goldar for the creepy obsession with the Ranger thing. Except while Goldar drove Jason off to join Torchwood, we're stuck with Tommy a while longer. So Zedd decides to throw his own Halloween party (and Baboo wants to be Little Bo Peep, which is so amazing I don't even have words for it) and invite Tommy.

Bulk and Skull show up, and for a minute we're afraid that they're going to be chaperones, but instead Bulk is going to eat some really hot candy, and then bob for apples. He then gets an apple stuck in his mouth, and we get a pig comparison, complete with sound effects, and I guess it's been a while since we've used the fatphobia tag. Thanks, show!

Zedd's plan is to have a bunch of putties turn into children and then separate Tommy from everyone else. The Putties turn into BABY RANGERS and I am overcome by the SHEER CUTE. Tommy takes them out (although I have some nitpicks about the plan. How did they know that Tommy would be the one to be assigned them? Didn't they make a point of saying that the parents had to sign the kids in and out?) but considering some of the fish that the show gives us, I really shouldn't be nitpicking.

Bulk and Skull see the tiny Rangers, and wonder if maybe the Rangers can shrink. This is so stupid I don't want to acknowledge it. However, they go around pulling off the helmets of the kids, and we see that there's a female red, and I start all capsing out of the sheer awesome. And then Bulk and Skull get covered in silly string, and honestly, they totally deserved that one.

Goldar shows up, and the putty!children turn into regular putties, and there's a fight scene. After Tommy beats them all, Goldar just teleports him to the Dark Dimension. I have no idea why they bothered with the plan and the fake children at all if Goldar could just do that. But Tommy ends up in a graveyard, and there's a really stupid new monster, and then Zedd decides to finally take our advice and just have a whole bunch of monsters. First we get the Pumpkin Rapper which means that we are totally going to subject you to this monster's horrible rhymes. Oh, and he steals Tommy's morpher.

Meanwhile, Kim and Billy have noticed that Tommy is missing, and that these children don't actually exist. Zordon hasn't bothered to call them, so they go to the Command Center and realize that yeah, he's actually been kidnapped. Again. Oh, Tommy. They manage to locate him on the viewing globe, and Billy wonders why Tommy isn't morphed. Kim immediately says it's because he's lost his Power Coin. I love that this happens often enough that Kim doesn't need to think about it. Some leader you are, Tommy!

The Pumpkin Rapper gets some allies in The Snizard (who also showed up in Island of Illusion), the Primator, the Robogoatthe Invenusable Fly Trap and the Rhinoblaster. With all these monsters, the Rangers should be doomed!

But no, because Kim and Billy show up, and they help Tommy get his morpher. Still, they're pretty outnumbered, so Alpha says that he will go and watch the children that Trini/Jason/Zack are supposedly escorting, reusing his costume excuse. So we get the shortest Zord summoning sequence in a while, yet only the Pumpkin Rapper bothers to grow. I mean, what was the point of summoning all those monsters? Oh, Zedd. You should hire us to explain the evil overlord rules to you. The Pumpkin Rapper is easily defeated, again.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull ate too much candy and everyone laughs at them.


Fish: 2.5 Mostly nitpicks. They just all added up!

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water and Bulk and Skull both get covered in silly string.

Pumpkin Rapper Speak: "maybe you did, but it's time to get sad. Because of Lord Zedd's power we're back and we're bad!"
"Hey don't play, he's getting away"
"You better just quit or you'll get hit"
"rangers this aint no play, 'cause you're going down today"
"It's so cool that is hot, rangers in a real spot?"
"I can't believe you dare to try and make this fair"
"I get bored with tinhead zords"
"that was uncool, so take this fool"
"we're going to fight to say goodnight"
"On the ground, clown."
"You brats! What's with that?"

Episode 79 - Two For One

Hey, there's a thread on to celebrate the awesome women of Power Rangers, and you should all go and post on it.

You know, I was checking earlier, and Tommy has had more episodes about him than any other Ranger. Sadly, we are continuing that trend today, although Kimberly also takes top billing.

We open at the Juice Bar, where Kim is prancing about in an absolutely ridiculous dress. She asks Trini what she thinks, and Trini tells her that it's adorable, and asks if it's for her date with Tommy. First of all, Trini, don't lie to her. That dress is awful. Second, don't encourage her. Before Trini can continue to lie to her, Richie brings over their (diet) soda, and we both sulk about that for a minute, and then Richie is ridiculously adorable and asks Trini to go study with him later. Study. Sure. Is that what they were calling it?

Anyway, Kim tells us a little bit more about her purse. Apparently it's the purse her mom took on her first date with her dad. There is so much wrong here I don't know where to start. 1-It isn't Kimberly's first date with Tommy. 2-Kimberly's parents are divorced, so this isn't a good sign for her continued relationship with Tommy. 3-That purse is FUGLY.

Bulk and Skull walk in, with a Power Rangers detector that was created by Bulk's cousin Waldo who goes to Angel Grove Tech. I'm going to refrain from a Where's Waldo joke, or trying to figure out where Angel Grove Tech is. And it is seriously the best detector ever - it has two settings "Power Rangers" and "Not Power Rangers". And it has smiley faces! Amazing!

So, Tommy shows up, all sweaty because he's been sparring with Jason. Kim asks if he's ready, and he tells her that it's only three, so he's got time. Of course, it's after four by this point, but whatever. Kim borrows Trini's lipstick, and waits for Tommy to finish showering.

Zedd and Goldar decide to ruin their date, and they'll turn Kim's purse and the stuff in it into two monsters, because Goldar wants one of his own. Now, I know we've been saying that they should have multiple monsters attack, but um, this was ridiculous. So they send putties down to attack Kim and Tommy, and Tommy is actually really adorable and romantic, asking Kim "May I have this dance?" and spinning her around before they go beat up some putties. They beat them, and then the purse gets turned into a monster. They morph, and the purse monster freezes them.

Zordon was apparently paying attention, because he calls the others. Jason and Zack were having a slap fight. It was pretty adorable. They actually spend most of the episode looking like they're about to make out, which pleases me greatly. Zordon explains that there are two monsters, and Trini and Billy are told to stay behind and figure out what piece of equipment will be able to unfreeze them. Jason asks Zack to go rescue Tommy and Kim, and they gaze soulfully into each others' eyes. Jason, meanwhile, will fight the lipstick monster with the giant phallic symbols by himself.

Zack immediately also gets frozen, and Jason calls his zord and starts to get his ass kicked. Billy and Trini eventually figure out how to free everyone, and they defreeze everyone else. While this is going on, Bulk and Skull follow their Ranger detector into the lake. After they get unfrozen, Tommy fights the purse monster by himself, while everyone else runs off to help Jason. He promptly gets tied up, so Saba saves the day and somehow the monster is destroyed. IDEK.

Meanwhile, the other Rangers all summon their zords, and it turns out that their zords have wacky powers! The unicorn zord can move boulders, the griffon shoots fire, and the firebird creates whirlwinds. (It's possible that the lion does something also, but we were too busy trying to figure out why Billy's zord was telekinetic.) Anyway, instead of forming the megazord, it turns out that Jason's zord just needed a ride? It jumps off of the others and hits the lipstick monster with its staff.

Kim gets her purse back, but there's no sign of the lipstsick. And Bulk and Skull find a bunch of kids. Pretty weak ending.

Fish: 4.5 Everything about this episode was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "The multiple arsenal must come from the paraphernalia from the receptical from which it was created."
"If only I could get the right coordinates on the refractor shield"

Covered in: Bulk and Skull fall in the lake

Episode 77 - White Light - Part 1

First, a bit of housekeeping. We changed the tag "Green Ranger era" to "Tommy era." Just in case anyone is wondering.

So. Tommy. Yeah. I hate this episode. I loved it when I was ten. But the thing that actually is going to cause the rage blackout happens in part 2, so I'll try not to rant about it that much.

The episode opens with Bulk and Skull (who are decked out as explorers on a safari, IDEK) demand to know where their sandwiches are. Trini snarkily calls them out on their rudeness, as she is awesome.

Kimberly bounces in, all excited because Tommy has sent her a letter (I guess he remembered which Ranger he's actually dating) telling her that he'll be back at the end of the week. I have no idea what happens next, because we held an all caps conversation about this.

second_batgirl: SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS HE?
queenriley: okay, WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO IN THE FIRST PLACE????? Does he not have SCHOOL???
second_batgirl: APPARENTLY NOT
queenriley: I can't imagine school gives sabbatical for "I lost my ranger powers"

So we finally decided that they have to be on summer vacation or something. We already know that Miss Applebee teaches everything, so I guess that works? (Alternately, the administration knows that they're Rangers and does give a sabbatical for "I lost my powers.")

Anyway, at the Command Center it turns out that Zordon and Alpha are going to work on a project, so they shut down the Command Center without telling the Rangers. Do they not remember what happened the last time Zordon shut down? (I guess since Alpha isn't going to go rescue baby!Dillon this time, they didn't feel the need to call them.) Zedd, who is as awesome at surveillance as Rita was, immediately notices something weird, and then gives us a fish filled explanation about how the Morphin Grid is maintained by a balance of Zedd and Zordon. Right. I guess it's also supported by some giant fish. So Zedd decides this would be a great time to a) capture Tommy again and b) send down a monster named Nimrod.

Back on Earth, Zack, Curtis and Jasosn are playing sports and damn, Jason has nice arms. Then Rita's garbage pail crashes on Earth, and Bulk and Skull decide this is the sign that will tell them who the Power Rangers are. Right. I'm not entirely sure why it took 17 episodes for her to land on Earth. Maybe some fish were blocking her path.

At his uncle's lake, we see Tommy getting out of the lake. Wow, for a moment both of us thought he was naked. Those swim trunks were remarkably close to the color of his skin. Anyway, gratuitous shirtless soaking wet Tommy is gratuitous. And then he gets teleported out by someone in a flash of white light. Hmmm.

Zack wanders over to get a football, and he finds the statue covered in slime, so he calls the others. They are all concerned by the slime, but none of them bother to inspect the back of the statue, which has the monster's head on it. The Rangers soon discover that Zordon isn't answering their communicators, so they teleport to the Command Center which is totally shut down. However, Billy manages to access what we're guessing is the footage from the security cameras, so they teleport down to his lab to check it out.

While in the lab everything starts to shake, so they realize that a monster is attacking. It's Nimrod, and it's two helpers AC and DC. I love this show so much. Midway through the battle Billy teleports to the Command Center to go figure out what Zordon and Alpha are up to. He enters the same code he saw Alpha put in, and falls through the door of light. Instead of ending up in the main room where Alpha and Zordon are, he lands in the room above them, which conveniently has a grate for him to look through. Zordon and Alpha fail at noticing his presence, but Billy is able to see that there's another Ranger....

To be continued. Tomorrow.

Fish: 3.5 The fish sure nudged a lot of plot points into place today.

Billy speak: There was a lot of borderline comments, but the only thing of note was "The activity disc is showing the combination of controls that Alpha coordinated."

Covered in: I did mention soaking wet Tommy and the lake, right?

Episode 74- Missing Green

Just a quick blogger note to let you guys know there will be no recaps for the next week or so. I wouldn't expect one until Tuesday the 26th at the earliest. Due to a death in the family, I'll be out of town for the next week and a half and unable to recap.

So. This episode. Missing Green. Otherwise known as Jason-attempts-to-look-emo-but-just-looks-constipated-because-he-misses-his-boyfriendfriend. Aka: Jason is Very Very Pretty.

This episode is weird. Just... weird. It's also blatant contract dispute time!

We start off in the Youth Center with Zack giving Jason some pointers for an upcoming martial arts expo. Jason is really messing up, though, because he just keeps seeing the target as Tommy and can't manage to kick it. He feels guilty for not getting the green candle in time and as such, is going to let the economy of Angel Grove fail. Bad Jason.

Meanwhile, Zedd devises a plan to use Jason's guilt against him. He also calls Goldar out on being a turncoat. And he does it in the most awesome way. Oh, Zedd.

Back at the Youth Center, Kim, Trini, Billy, and Zack are talking. Zack is worried about Jason. Kim decides they should find Tommy to help make Jason feel better. I don't know why they have to FIND Tommy, but I don't have time to dwell on that since they said ranger right in front of Bulk and Skull and the duo actually NOTICED. That's right, secret identity fail that was actually OVERHEARD! So Bulk and Skull are going to follow them by borrowing Bulk's aunt's bright yellow taxi.

Zack drives a big red SUV for some reason. They're trying to find The Lake of No Name except Kim can't remember where it is and they're lost. They pull over and look at a map that is apparently of Angel Grove, but it still doesn't make much sense. But Goldar shows up before they can figure out where they are! Bulk and Skull somehow COMPLETELY MISS the foursome morphing right in front of them. I don't even know how, but they didn't see it. Goldar taunts them a little and then immediately transports them to a cell in the dark dimension. There are four candles in the colours of the kidnapped rangers and he's using the last of the green candle to light the others. There is a fishy explanation and... it really doesn't work that way. Or it didn't last time. Nod and smile.

Meanwhile, Zordon has taken initiative and called Jason! He explains what's going on and then gives Jason an awesome pep talk about what makes him a good leader and tough decisions and yada yada yada. Holy crap, Zordon for the WIN! Zordon FTMFW even! I don't even quite know what to do with that. Jason is very demanding (and it's so incredibly incredibly hot, despite the fact that he really couldn't act here) and insists Zordon find his friends because the trophy isn't worth winning if he can't share it with his friends (and we know he really means Tommy, but whatever, he was all kinds of forceful and I got all flustered).

Anyway, Zedd has turned the trophy for the martial arts expo into a monster, completely contradicting himself from a mere two episodes ago where we discovered he could only turn things into monsters if they were alive. Jason morphs and goes to fight this monster and ends up entangled in the tentacles, despite us never actually seeing the monster in the same shot as the red ranger. It's also blatantly obvious that we've entered contract dispute episodes because the voiceover for Jason here is definitely not Austin St. John. It doesn't sound anything like him at all! And he spends most of the episode morphed.

There is a random battle where the monster grows and Jason calls the red dragon thunderzord and it's very confusing, but the zord beats the monster and it returns to it's previous trophy state and location. Jason teleports into the dark dimension and fights Goldar. He manages to knock over the candles and gets the keys from Goldar to let the others out. Unfortunately, they're all weak and stuff because of the candles. So in some weird fishy scene, Jason takes all the power coins, puts them on top of the now upright candles, and uses his power coin to... do something but I'm not sure what. Basically it was like lightning went from his coin to the others and then the candles disappeared and everybody got their powers back. Uh... okay then. He gives them their coins back, they all leave by jumping through some invisible vortex or something (my head is going to fall off I'm nodding and smiling so hard here), but Goldar grabs Jason by the leg and insisting he won't let him go that easy. The show outright admits that Goldar's entire purpose revolves around Jason. Wow. Way to point that out, show!

So they all end up in the Command Center and Alpha is exciting because they've located Tommy. He is indeed at The Lake of No Name. He's writing JASON a letter. Not his girlfriend or anything, but JASON. He's also writing it by holding the paper upright in front of his face, but I'm going to ignore that fact. Because he's writing a letter to JASON and he's saying everything he's writing and good holy hell it's the slashiest thing this show has ever done. I don't even ship them! Oh, and Tommy is wearing all white.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull show off a picture that was supposed to be of the rangers but was actually of a birds nest that fell on top of them. They go off to come up with another plan to discover the identity of the power rangers while Jason and the rest of the team go inside for the martial arts expo. Jason is VERY pretty and SHIRTLESS. I suddenly like this episode an awful lot. Jason does some interesting moves and the judges immediately award him first place and the trophy. He dedicates it to Tommy. For some reason. That I'm sure has nothing to do with sex. Or at least I'm sure that's what the show wants us to think. Or maybe not... because it's really kind of undeniable here.

Mostly I'm just happy he's shirtless and SHINY. He's glistening with sweat. It's very lovely.

List time!
4 fish... there were a lot of contradictions with previous episodes. I mean, A LOT.

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull were covered in eggs.

Episode 73- Green No More Part 2

Oh god. I have been blinded by the fish. I wanted to like this episode, because it's the last episode of the green ranger era, except a)it puts us one step closer to the white ranger era and b)the sheer amount of fish in this episode is overwhelming.

So we start out with Tommy hiding by a Very Convenient boulder. The monster, who's name I can't remember, is taunting him and wandering around trying to find him. I still haven't figured out WHAT the monster is supposed to be, but it just looks like a deformed koopa troopa to me. I kept wanting Tommy to jump on it's back and then send it sliding across the big open field. Tommy does eventually attack and then runs away, finding a ravine to hide in.

Meanwhile, nobody can get through to Zordon and Zordon can't get through to anybody else. Apparently Zedd has put some kind of force field around the Command Center. It is slowly compressing and Zordon reveals this will eventually cause it to implode. Um. Okkaaayyyy...

So Zedd determines that his evil plan is going so well, he's going to taunt the rangers by letting them go so they can stand by and watch the koopa troopa monster tear apart Angel Grove. Apparently the evil rangers are supposed to do something eventually, but mostly they just stand there in the worst costumes ever. So Zedd releases the rangers and teleports them to the park. They can't morph for some reason. I don't know why, I don't know how, but whatever. They can't contact Zordon so Billy says they should all go to his lab so he can somehow break through the energy barrier. *sigh*

Meanwhile, Goldar shows up in the field to take over taunting Tommy. He's going to make Tommy pledge his allegiance to Zedd and the side of evil. He's going to do this with a handy little device that looks like an electric can opener with tubing. This device is so evil, it's going to work like the Mirror of Regret (which we haven't gotten to yet, I know, but just roll with me here). It's going to make Tommy want to join the side of evil because it's going to show him his past! The device delves deep and shows Tommy all the battles he's won and just how awesome he is. That's right. It shows him what a good job he's done FIGHTING EVIL. And this is going to make him want to join Goldar how? What? I don't get it.

Back at Billy's lab, Billy has really nice arms. And he's showing them off. Oh, and he's doing something technical with a computer, but mostly I just looked at his arms. The others are watching the news on tv and apparently it's been 24 hours since the monster started attacking? Only it really hasn't? But okay. Billy managed to lock on to the force field.

Back in the random field, Goldar is basically pulling a "Say my name, BITCH!" and Tommy's all "yeah, okay, you're..." and Goldar gets hopeful because really he'll take a Jason substitute if he absolutely has to, but then Tommy kills that hope by switching tactics and basically calling him a stupidhead. He does the most predictable kick, Goldar can't block anything for the fish in the shot, and then Tommy gets his hands on the electric can opener and zaps Goldar... somewhere. He then uses it to send a message to himself in the past. Only he doesn't send a message to himself. Instead he picks up a message of himself and said message HANDS HIM HIS COMMUNICATOR. That's right. A non-corporeal RECORDING handing over a physical object. Mind, there was no explanation for why Tommy didn't have his communicator in the first place, but I'm too distracted by the NON-CORPOREAL RECORDING passing over a physical object.

Amazingly, it works now and Tommy teleports himself to Billy's lab. Everybody is happy to see him, they all make it to the Command Center, and then there are even more fish. Because only a non-ranger can get through to Zedd's cave undetected. And Tommy, being drained of all his power, goes. And nobody sees him. So he destroys the kryptonite crystal. And the evil rangers demorph, have their spells broken, and teleport out of there all at once. Zedd cries in dismay.

Tommy joins the others back at the Command Center and then everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, morphs. Yes, including Tommy. Y'know, the non-ranger that was able to get into the base. The guy who had his powers drained completely by the koopa troopamonster's arse. He morphs. The show tries to distract you from the insane fish by giving a really long zord summoning sequence, but no worries, I'm on to them. I still see the fish everywhere. They're really piling up in this episode.

Somehow Zordon knows to use heat and then cold water to destroy the monster, but Tommy has to be eaten to do it. He hides in some watermelons, gets eaten, and then pulls a mega-heat blaster out of NOWHERE. Apparently he got it from Billy. What? When did he make that? How did he get it from Billy since he only found out what to do mid-fight? I'd do a headdesk here, but the fish are overflowing from this episode and I'm afraid I'd smack into one.

So Tommy blasts with heat from within, then Zack blasts with water from without, and then the monster dies. La la la.

Back at the Youth Center, the new bullies in town come walking in and Jason decides the best way to beat the bullies is to be their friends. Why they never try this with Bulk and Skull, I don't know, but my head hurts too much to think about it. So Jason gets up and pays for the sodas for the bullies. I'm too overcome by the fact that somebody paid for something ($4.50 for 5 sodas... damn but the 90's were cheap) to pay much attention to the rest of the episode, which apparently ended with a handshake.

List time:

*pushes fish out of the way* 5 fish. If our scale went higher, this would be higher.

Billy speak: "My communicator locked onto the electric force field surrounding the command center."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 72 - Green No More - Part 1

Hey, we're reaching the end of the Green Ranger era! Sadly, not of the Tommy era. But whatever. Today on Power Rangers - Tommy is emo, there are some hot bullies, and Zedd discovers kryptonite.

I actually remembered nothing about this episode, so it's all new for me. And amazingly it wasn't that bad!

We open with Tommy playing basketball. You can tell that he's emo, because he's having trouble making the shot. Kimberly shows up (her outfits are really cute this season), having asked Jason where Tommy was. I kind of love that Kimberly needed to ask Jason for this piece of information. They have a discussion about Tommy's powers, which are failing fast. Tommy's hair is ridiculous, and I feel the need to point that out.

Suddenly, a ghost!Tommy appears. He's from the future, and he tries to give a warning, that somehow involves communicators. Oh, Tommy. Meanwhile, Zedd is still obsessed with Tommy. He's putting Goldar's obsession with Jason to shame.

Meanwhile, at the school, Zack and Billy discuss Zack's cousin Curtis, who is being set up to be Zack's replacement moving to Angel Grove. He's basically Zack. Seriously, same character, same dancing, whatever. Apparently they only have one characterization available. They introduce Curtis to Ritchie, and the two decide to be boyfriends BFF. Tommy tells Zack and Billy about the guy who looked just like him, and I start all-capsing about how of course he looks like him, he IS HIM. Tommy, read more scifi. Or go to a movie. Or something.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull get beaten up by a new team of bullies. There are five of them, and they are all color coded for your convenience. Gee, I wonder what this is being set up for? (Also, the red one is hot, and we're sure we've seen the blue one before somewhere, but imdb is failing us.) The new bullies also threaten some kid name Stewart, and you would think that Billy would be more active in protesting this, but he just stands there and watches. Fail.

On the moon, Lord Zedd has apparently discovered Kryptonite. Seriously, it is a glowing green rock that drains people's powers. There is absolutely nothing else that it can be. Nothing. I just realized that this might make Tommy Superman and then my brain started to hurt.

After school, the Rangers (except for Trini, who is off visiting relatives) go to the beach. Zack and Jason show off their arms, while Kimberly and Billy look for shells. Just as Kimberly finds a new shell, the bullies appear, and suddenly we're in a Jets vs Sharks throwdown with the Rangers telling the new bullies about how they don't know the rules yet, and the bullies saying they make the rules. Then Lord Zedd teleports out the bullies, because he thinks they should work for him. They just stand there, and I'm not sure if they're under a spell or what.

The whole group teleports to the Command Center, and Zordon tells them that Lord Zedd has sent down a very powerful monster. Tommy insists on fighting with them, even though he can only hold up for one more fight. Now, if they were being smart they would save his powers for when they desperately need him, but Tommy insists on going now, because it has to be all about him. (My attempt to fanwank this is that he just wants it to be over, and he can't stand the constant not knowing if its going to be his last battle or not, but this may just be giving him too much credit. Then again, I've been in comics fandom for a while, so I've gotten really good at rationalizing.)

Zedd's shell monster thing has already grown, so we get the world's longest Zord summoning sequence. The monster beats them, and then goes back to Zedd, who is all annoyed because it hasn't completely destroyed Tommy yet. So the monster teleports Tommy to a field, and his powers immediately failed. Okay, so here's where we get into the fish - if they could do that before, why didn't they? (... To give the show some credit, I really appreciate the shots of JDF's ass. I am shallow, what?)

The other Rangers try to contact Zordon, but they can't. Zedd teleports them to a cave and imprisons them in a force field, and holds up the glowing chunk of Kryptonite, and tells them their powers won't work. He then debuts his Dark Rangers, who are in the most horrible versions of a costume I have ever seen in my entire life. I could make a better costume than that, and I can't sew. Zedd threatens to send out his Dark Rangers, and then we get a to be continued sign....

Fish! 3. Outside of the "5 evil people move to Angel Grove at once" and the "seriously, why couldn't they do any of this before?" it wasn't that high fish an episode. Especially for a Tommy Centric one.

Billy speak: "Y'know, it's quite possible that he appeared through a rift in the space time continuum."

Episode 69- The Beetle Invasion

Today on Power Rangers, I am reminded of lots of things that aren't Power Rangers!

We start out in the Youth Center. Ernie is playing broomball. He's apparently agreed to a match against the Stone Canyon team. The only problem is Ernie and Angel Grove don't actually have a broomball team. We had to squee for a few minutes because, hello, Stone Canyon! Setting up early perhaps? :D So Ernie tries to talk to rangers into playing for his team. They're a little hesitant. Until, that is, the Stone Canyon team comes in to hang up fliers. Why they're plastering the neighboring city with fliers for their team I don't know, but roll with it. They're total jerks. So because of their dickwad-ish attitude, the rangers agree to play for Ernie's team.

Meanwhile, Zedd has been watching. He's OBSESSED with Tommy. I mean, like, Goldar and Jason level obsessed. So Zedd/Tommy is now the OTHER Love That Daren't Speak It's Name. He plans on using the mascot for the Stone Canyon team, a beetle, and making a monster out of it that will drain Tommy's power.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull come in with a giant pig nose. Bulk bought it off the back of a comic book. Aw, Bulk reads comics! Awesome. Anyway, they plan to use it to sniff out the power rangers. Not sure how that will work, but it's kind of cute, so I go with it. And here is where we meet Ritchie. He's the new kid in school and he wants to play for Ernie's team, but alas, the team is full. But Ernie says Ritchie can co-captain. And Trini swoons.

In the next scene, Tommy and Kim are running alone in the park. This means they'll be attacked by putties. It ALWAYS happens. So Zedd sends down some putties and they fight for a bit. They knock Tommy down a lot and Kim has taken lessons on how to vogue mid-fight. Instead of calling for backup, they morph and fight some more. Zordon is still apparently trying to sabotage Tommy because he doesn't alert the others until Kim calls for help. They morph and end up fighting the beetle monster who knocks Tommy down again and then drains his powers. While explaining that he's draining his powers.

They finally have to go to the Command Center where Billy analyzes some data and discovers that Tommy is just fine health wise. He agrees he feels fine, just weak. They then try to figure out what the beetle did to Tommy. Um. He drained Tommy's powers. He kind of explained that already. While he was doing it. It was really quite obvious, I assure you.

Then Alpha and Billy say some technobabble which I totally missed because I was too busy being distracted by the big school of fish swimming across the screen. I mean, by the explanation for power ranger energies and transducers and power replacement. It was really just a bunch of fish here. Billy tells Alpha to construct a transducer that can rebuild Tommy's powers, or something to that effect, and I swear Billy is very pretty and smart, but really all it sounded like was "Hey Alpha, take this fishing pole and go catch us a plot device, mkay?".

Morphed, they leave Tommy behind and go fight the beetle monster thing again. Zack takes him on by himself and the others just kind of stand back and watch. What were they doing this whole time? We're not sure. We do have a theory though. I believe they were distracted by his very lovely arse. I'm sure Jason was standing there saying "Hang on Zack, I'd love to jump in and help you here, but DAMN you're a fine piece of ass." which would totally explain why they... well... just stood there.

Jason then actually says they need to get the monster to leave the Conveniently Abandoned Rock Quarry so they can fight him on their own ground. So he runs off. And the others follow because they can't do anything else. Apparently they needed a big pile of fish to fight on.

Back at the Command Center, Tommy asks Alpha to explain the transducer. He sort of did, but I missed it because every time they mention the word transducer, I could only think of one thing. "This sonic transducer...it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device?"

Back at the fight, they end up in hill country. They call the power weapons and almost have the beetle monster, but Zedd makes him grow. I predict this before it even happens.
"and it grows
and they'll call the zords
and they'll form the thundermegazord
and they'll fight for a minute
and then they'll pull out the thunder sword
and the fight will be over"
And that's basically what happened. It grew. It knocked them over. They fell over in the cockpit. Billy and Zack made a Jason sandwich. They stand up. Jason tells them to get to battle stations, which always leads me to Captain Picard, even though I thought they already WERE at battle stations. They fight some more. They pull out the thunder sabre. The thunder sabre saves the day. End of fight. Surprise surprise surprise.

Zedd isn't upset he lost, though, because they drained Tommy's powers. He is really obsessed.

Back at the Youth Center, the Angel Grove team beats the pants off the Stone Canyon team. They're playing broomball in the very confined space of the Youth Center. And they're all wearing goggles. We can't help but to hope/imagine that they're slash goggles. Tommy makes the winning shot by possibly breaking the rules. And then they talk about Tommy losing his powers in the middle of the Youth Center. Way to go, guys. Because nobody will overhear you or anything.

List time!

5 fish. Solidly. I missed half the episode because that big school of fish kept taking over the screen.

Billy speak: "I thought there was a large coleoptera on that poster."

"Perhaps Alpha can construct a green energy transducer that will recapture Tommy's powers."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 59- Mighty Morphin' Mutants

As I was wandering the aisles of the grocery today, buying my bread, my milk, my kitchen sponges, I stopped at the beer aisle. You see, we're out of beer and while we don't drink often, we do occasionally enjoy a nice cold one. I stood there, pondering my choices. Was it a Shiner kind of week? Would Guinness be more fitting? Oh, but there was a new Canadian import on sale that I'd wanted to try, so maybe that. And while I thought about which to purchase, I remembered the episode scheduled for viewing and recapping tonight. As I remembered this episode, I immediately turned away from the beer, paid for my groceries, and headed next door to the liquor store. This episode requires something far harder than a grocer could provide. And that, dear readers, should tell you everything you need to know about tonight's episode.

It's a Tommy episode and we start off with Tommy running down the school hallway. He's late. Again. Kim asks him what's going on and he tells her he's late for Mrs. Applebee's class. I wonder why she's not also late for class, and why she's not in the same class with him as they seem to share every class, but then I remember Mrs. Applebee teaches English, and Science, and Social Studies, and who knows what else. So... yeah. Anyway. He's late.

He sneaks in just in time for Mrs. Applebee to give them their assignment. And before we're even ONE MINUTE into the episode, I teeter on the verge of blackout rage. But I have artificial means of calming my nerves and that's the only thing that saves this episode and has kept this recap out of all caps.

You see, their assignment is to ask their friends to choose something about said person that needs a little work. And then they have to go about trying to fix that problem. So basically they have to go ask all their friends "Hey, what's wrong with me?" and then try to fix it. Um... that's not cool. Yeah, acknowledge your flaws and all that. But to ask teenagers to go around asking other teenagers what's bad about themselves? That's... a disaster waiting to happen. I would have WEPT had I been given such an assignment in school. I also know there would have been a large handful of people jumping at the chance to tell me the fact I existed at all was what was wrong with me... so yeah. This assignment fills me with rage. Bad horrible awful soul-crushing assignment.

Moving on. Bulk is actually rather astute in that he goads Tommy that he'll be lucky if he can even remember what the assignment is. Because Tommy is forgetful. And this episode points it out with startling consistency.

We cut to Goldar conducting a putty training session. It's ADORABLE! I love it. Poor Number 6 just isn't cutting it though, so Goldar sends him back to the clay factory. Goldar then hands out five discs and we discover the putties are going to morph and become ranger clones. We have black, pink, yellow, blue, and green. No red because Number 6 couldn't cut it. Of course he couldn't. Goldar wants the real thing. He'll settle for nothing less than Jason himself. No putty would have been able to pass the Goldar Jason-obsession test.

Tommy asks what his flaws are. First he borrows a towel and some water from Jason because he forgot his, and Jason tells him he's forgetful. He gets a little offended and is all "C'mon man!" but Jason has walked off. Then he asks Kim and Trini and they agree, he's forgetful. He has to agree with them after he buys a soda, puts a straw in it, and then forgets it on the counter. He then says he forgot he was forgetful. *headdesk*

We then see Tommy and Kim walking through the park together and they come across the green and pink Putty Rangers. Tommy tells Kim not to morph and they get their rear-ends handed to them. They wait until the fight is over and the Putty Rangers are gone to contact Zordon and let him know what's up. They discover there is no red Putty Ranger because Rita has sent down Commander Crayfish in it's place (and poor Putty Number 6 couldn't get Goldar's Jason-obsessed approval).

The next day, as Tommy forgets just about everything else, Billy gives him a device he worked on the night before. It's a little memory device that has everything Tommy needs to do programmed into it and sounds an alarm at the required time. Billy was actually helpful! Except then they talk about taking their minds off Rita's evil rangers in the middle of the very crowded Youth Center and seriously, secret identities don't work that way. While at school, Kim just ties a bunch of ribbons on Tommy's wrist and tells him that will help him remember. The memory device short circuits just in time for Tommy to realize he's forgotten his notebook, the one with all his homework and notes in it that Trini worked so hard helping him organize. And goodness knows what else he's forgotten (aside from a soda he just bought, a towel, his water for after working out, what attacks he's using during sparring, etc etc etc).

It's at this point that I begin to wonder if Tommy has a brain tumor because seriously, this goes way beyond just forgetful. This is disturbing serious mental damage levels of forgetfulness. TSB's theory is that it's something Rita did to him when he was evil and while I never put much stock in that beforehand, the end of this episode gives us a plausible theory. More on that later.

So Tommy leaves his morpher in his locker and skips class to run home and get his homework folder. Meanwhile, the other five are called away before reaching class, so they end up skipping as well. They go fight Commander Crayfish and the Putty Rangers. They do okay, but not too terribly well. Tommy finally gets back and hears his morpher, so he goes to join the fight. La de da. Fight scenes aren't my favourite, sorry. Zordon gives them new weapons after they get their asses handed to them AGAIN, and they look just like the old weapons, but are supposedly way more powerful. They blast the Putty Rangers into the air and then Rita makes them grow. Even the putties grew. This happened before when Tommy was evil. Rita made him grow. I had forgotten, but TSB reminded me, and it cleared up some things. Perhaps Tommy really did suffer brain damage from the massive growth and then shrinking down. Surely it would have adversely affected his internal anatomy.

Anyway, they call the zords, they fight, they call Titanus, they win. End of fight, yay!

Back at school the following day, poor Tommy is still forgetful. The others make him feel better about it, telling him it's okay because nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws and that's what make you special and your real friends will love you despite your shortcomings. Which is a good lesson, sure, but falls flat after the whole "ask everyone you know what they think is WRONG WITH YOU" assignment. *sigh* Not to mention that the level of forgetfulness Tommy exhibited was downright FRIGHTENING and worrisome. Like, what is physically wrong with him, get him into a doctor asap, kind of worrisome.

Bulk and Skull show up to school dressed as gentlemen. They are cleaned up nicely, hair washed and styled, wearing suits. They look pretty darn good! They even brought a present for Mrs. Applebee, but she refuses to open it and insists they open it for her. It ends up shooting silly string all over Bulk and his nice suit. Mrs. Applebee then turns to the rangers and says, and I quote, "Well, I suppose some of us will never change." and then LAUGHS. WORST. TEACHER. EVER.

So yes, I needed that hard liquor to keep me calm through this episode, mostly because of the assignment. Seriously, I would have had a freaking mental breakdown had I been assigned that in school. That's... just not okay.

Lists:

5 fish. It kept some continuity and all, but that assignment! I can't get past it. And Tommy's disturbing level of forgetfulness without being called on it. Myocardial infarction was less worrisome than this mess.

Billy speak: none really

Covered in food: none