Episode 340 - Lightspeed Teamwork

Hey, we live! And we're recapping! Season 8! I never thought we'd make it here. Oh, and Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange is still open for signups! You should sign up! We have awesome prompts so far!

Right. So I get a Joel episode. Um.... it's entirely possible that he's in my top three least favorite Rangers list? (For the record, the other two are Sky and Dax.) And I know that his whole arc is how he learns to be less of a dick and less of a patronizing jackass, but I hate him. So I'm not particularly looking forward to this episode.

We start off in the demons Castle Greyskull, with Diabolico planning on destroying the Lightspeed base. Turns out that since the base is underwater, they can't do anything about it, because water weakens them. So Diabolico demands a monster.

Back on the base, Joel catches sight of a woman, and is like "hoooooooot." He knocks her over and spills all the things.

Themesong! I love this themesong! It's catchy and fun and pretty awesome. You know what else is pretty awesome? The costume design. I seriously love it. I also have nothing else to say about it, because both are fun.

Anyway, the woman puts her glasses back on. He tries to impress her, and is all being a GIANT ASS in his attempt to flirt. He shows off his morpher, and is trying to use his status to impress her, and is basically a giant ass.

So, Captain Mitchell (who is AWESOME) is giving them a tour of the base.  And oh, turns out that the woman (Ms. Fairweather, who is probably ABD) is the genius behind all the tech. BECAUSE SHE IS GREAT. Seriously, I think she's my favorite.

Their zords are trains. Which.... I agree with Kelsey. Trains?

Meanwhile, Joel has ditched the training so he can go buy flowers for Ms. Fairweather. The city is being attacked by a lava monster, and the Rangers aren't sure if they're ready for this. Ms. Fairweather explains that they're programmed to assist him.

Joel gets yelled at for being late, and if he's this much trouble and this much of an ass, why did they choose him? (He even tries to convince Captain Mitchell that he was on a top secret mission that even the captain didn't know about.) And like, I like cocky assholes? I HATE JOEL.

Anyway, the trains launch, and it is a pretty cool sequence, even though I keep thinking about Shining Time Station. I'm not really sure that bridges can move like that? And the fact that there's a volcano in Mariner Bay MIGHT be a longterm problem.

From the GIANT train they were in, they split off into smaller zords (.... so what was the point of the train?)  and Carter picks up that there are people trapped in a building. So all the Zords go to stop them. Joel is all "I can do this alone" but Ms. Fairweather is all "NOPE." Joel is sulky about it, but agrees anyway. Instead they need to combine into part of the Megazord, and this sequence isn't nearly entertaining enough for the amount of time they spend on it. Blah blah blah, rescue mission for three people in the elevator. Isn't there a monster running lose in the city? JUST SAYING.

I mean, the city clearly has regular fire departments and all that. They're supposed to be FIGHTING THE MONSTER. THAT IS THEIR PURPOSE. The fire department can handle this! They CAN'T handle the monster. DO YOUR JOB AND FIGHT THE MONSTER, RANGERS. LET THE CIVILIAN FORCES DO THEIR JOB.

Instead, they get a new toy. (This early in the season?) This allows Carter to open the busted elevator where Kelsey, Dana and civilians are stuck. Bah.

... And then Dana and Kelsey have to go take the civilians to safety while the guys fight the monster. UM. Yeah.

Joel once again attempts to disobey the order because he has a better idea, and Ms. Fairweather ends up screaming at him to obey the order. And her plan works because she is smart. And he is an ass who didn't bother going to the briefing.

Then they combine into the Megazord, and there is way too much zord fighting in this episode. I so don't care. It is too early in the season for me to be all "I don't care!" But seriously, 80% of this episode has been Zords, and the other 20% has been Joel being an ass.

So the Megazord punches things and they throw the monster into the volcano which blows him up? WHATEVER.

Back on the base, Carter is all stressing the importance of teamwork, which Joel agrees to, until he sees Ms. Fairweather, and then he runs off to hit on her some more. He wonders if she's allowed to be in here, because he's a patronizing jackass. Then he manages to insult her and computer geeks in general and she yells at him that next time she'll just let him explode. YOU DO THAT, MS. FAIRWEATHER. And then the rest of the team mocks him, which I'm okay with.

Fish: 3. It would have been 5 because of how Joel is an ass, but QR says we can't rate like that. So instead all the fish are from seriously, monster right there! Let the civilians do their jobs and FIGHT THE MONSTER.

Episode 304- Silent Sleep

Today on Power Rangers, there are horses! And then more dramatic cape swishing. I approve!

So Maya likes to tend to the horses. I like her. I like horses. She needs help and Damon volunteers Leo, but then Leo backs out so Damon runs away too. Maya is clearly brilliant because she accuses them of being afraid and then they help. Or Leo helps. He's a "cowboy". Although I take offense to that. Not everybody who rides a horse is a cowboy. There are entire disciplines that are older than cowboys and western. Ahem.

Anyway! So Leo is Very Bad at this and falls off. Keep your heels down, son, and grip with your calves, you'll stay on. Unfortunately, in the fall, Mike's dogtags fall off and Leo has a minor heart attack. Damon would have teased him, except he's totally scared of Maya. I love that everybody is afraid of Maya. Because she is awesome.

Later that night, the Chillyfish (who looks more like a mushroom with fringe) shows up on top of a building. He puts everybody to sleep by freezing them... except the animals (but but but... science and all). And the Rangers of course. They somehow managed to stay un-frozen. There is a boring fight and the Chillyfish runs away. Not before blasting Kai, Maya, Damon, and Kendrix... who remain sort of awake but very cold. Leo does what he can with blankets and stuff, but seriously? The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened.

Except on screen all we get is frozen electronic equipment. Nothing has power, for some reason, not even the motorcycles. It makes no sense but does leave for a defenseless spaceship. Trakeena is going to take advantage of this and flirts with a baddie general so she can get off her daddy's bug ship and go after the Fish of Orion. She is clearly the best.

Back on Terra Venture, it is morning! Because somehow there is SUN on a SPACESHIP even without POWER. Did this season just forget they're on a spaceship or something? Leo finds monsters and there is a fight and then general guy sends Trakeena back to the ship. She is clearly not happy about this and he'll pay for that later. Leo does some more fighty stuff and it's super boring.

But then! Then it's sunshine and rainbows and kittnes! Because it's all dramatic, guys! Because Leo realizes somebody else is unfrozen. It's the Super Dramatic Magna Defender! He is fiddling with the Fish, with his super swishy cape, and Leo begs for his help to unfreeze the colony. Super Dramatic MD doesn't give a two shakes about the colony and they are going to fight about it, because Leo has Upstanding Moral Fiber and MD has Super Depressing Angst. Super Dramatic MD's cape is super swishy all the time for what appears to be no reason in this episode. IT IS DELIGHTFUL. Now, we just need that water fountain...

Super Dramatic MD is willing to kill Leo to keep him from getting the lights, but he accidentally shoots the Fish instead and then flies off after them in a swishy dramatic fashion, with dramatic smoke and music. Because he's Super Dramatic.

Leo, after communing with a Tiny Bunny, realizes the animals are unaffected (BUT HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO, SO WTF?) and goes to the horse paddock. He talks very calmly to the dapper bay that threw him earlier, manages to come to an understanding, and gets a bridle on him. He eve does it properly! Good job, Leo. The horse isn't too happy to have Leo on his back, but he must realize the importance of the situation because he quickly adjusts and takes Leo off to wherever he needs to go... jumping the fence in the process, and Leo has really bad jumping posture. He rides to Chillyfish and there is SWORDFIGHTING ON HORSEBACK. SWORDFIGHTING. ON HORSEBACK. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART! This is my favourite thing ever.

Then there is boring not-on-horseback fighting and I don't care so much about it, except Leo totally hurts him, but then Super Dramatic MD with his Dramatically Swishy Cape saves the day by stabbing the hell out of Chillyfish amid Dramatic Music and Smoke. Chillyfish dies and then grows and then we get the Torozord and I REFUSE TO ASK WHERE THE HECK THIS THING CAME FROM BECAUSE ALLLLLLL THE FISH. Super Dramatic Magna Defender wins and then everybody just magically wakes up, body temperatures restored to normal, with no ill effects. Oh show.

Leo confronts Super Dramatic MD. His cape is so delightfully swishy. Dramatic Capes make everything better. They have a heart-to-heart and Leo believes in him even if he doesn't believe in himself and he walks away all slow motion and dramatic and OH I LOVE THIS GUY.

4 fish. It just... yeah. Even dramatic capes and swordfighting on horseback couldn't really save this one.

Fic we want: "The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened." - We demand that fic, like, yesterday.

Episode 297 - Rookie in Red

So, I ship Leo/Kai a lot, have I mentioned that? Because while I stand by my "this series is pretty much an OT5 where Maya teaches them about polyamory" comments, I really ship Leo/Kai. They have an amazing dynamic.

So I am very pleased about recapping this episode, in case you couldn't tell.

So Leo is narrating the events of earlier episodes (um, this is only episode four. Really? Flashbacks ALREADY?) and i would like this sequence a lot better if he was unmorphed. But Leo has a ton of angst about his dead brother, which I approve of, and then he tosses his saber. I just. This is the sort of angst I love. Andros = not my type. Leo = TOTALLY IS.

So Furio shows up and attacks Leo and is all taunting him, and Leo AGAIN drops his sword. He is really bad at this. Of course, they then get interrupted when there's some random noise in the background, and Leo has more angst about not letting Mike down.

Trakeena is being her badass self and mocking Furio for being a failure, when her father demands to know what's up with him. She covers for Furio who goes off to have another plan, and says he knows her. Furio meets up with some other monster guy who has something called the transdaggers, that are apparently powerful.

Back on Terra Venture, the Commander introduces Leo as a new recruit, and um, how are they explaining Leo being there? How are we explaining Mike being dead? But anyway, Leo apparently scored really highly on the test, but he is an adorable failbot while Kai is all "rules and regulations" and "this is how you do it by the book" and basically being super adorable while Leo is constantly getting Kai in trouble by eating in command and then forgetting to lock the doors and basically being a failbot.

Kai is all flipping out about how Leo has no disciplined, but Kendrix is like "dude, you like him, and also you're jealous of how awesome he is" but Kai denies it.

It starts to pour and it turns out that Leo had just decided that it would be fun to make it rain. They find out about the security breach because of Leo being a failbot, and Kai is totally pissed, because all the weapons have been stolen. Kai is correct in that this is all Leo's fault, although Kai, if you are training him, you should also check up on him. (I am firmly on Team Kai in this fight, although I feel they should solve their issues by making out.)

Leo runs out to try and solve the problem himself, while Kai gets the others for backup. Kai is all "no no, I will handle it" and the Rangers all pose dramatically before running in to fight. The five of them pull their sabers and the monster manages to steal four of them. Only Leo has his, and since the monster can't pull the saber out of his hands, it just takes Leo as well.

In the quarters that the five of them apparently share, Kai is being the EMOEST EMO and I love him so much. Seriously, it is so over the top and AMAZING. He heads off to try and find Leo and the others follow him.

Somewhere on the ship, Furio is trying to destroy the sabers now while Leo is all tied up. I approve of THAT. The saber apparently lets Leo go somehow because some fish guided it perfectly and Leo escapes with all the sabers. He runs into the monster and manages to lose the sabers AGAIN (seriously, how is he so bad at this?) and Furio dumps them into the lava, apparently destroying them, along with the transdaggers.

Except. Apparently Leo switched the sabers with some fakes. Also, they apparently knew all about the transdaggers and that was a plot to find out about those too? But anyway, now they have the sabers and the daggers and the daggers can turn into other cool weapons or whatever.

They show off the new weapons and the sabers some more and then combine the daggers into a formation to make them shoot stars at the monster. The monster grows and the fugly lion is summoned (and I'm still not really sure how it's hidden on a space ship, and we'll probably point that out at least a few more times) and then the lion destroys it.

Leo finds out that Kai said nice things about him in his review, but Leo quits because a) he thinks Kai is the best and b) because he's bad at keeping a schedule. So many points to Leo for knowing what his strengths are and bowing out before he gets in way too far, although now I'm not really sure what he's contributing to the colony, and seriously, how are they explaining him being there?

Kai apologizes to Leo for being too hard on him, and Leo apologizes for being too hard to train, and the Kai mocks him for being impossible. Leo smirks and is all "bet you I'll never be late for duty again" which Kai eagerly accepts, before finding out that Leo just resigned.

Then they make out.

Fish: Four. We... may have to revise the fish scale, because I remember this season being COMPLETELY INSANE.

Fic we want: Leo/Kai. Just assume that I am requesting that in every recap, okay? Also, if someone wants to write something explaining how they explained Leo being on the ship, or how the fugly zord is buried in the ship, go right ahead.

Episode 283- A Rift in the Rangers

Today on Power Rangers, I get some frustration out that I was previously unaware I'd been keeping pent up inside. Thanks, Power Rangers. I feel better now.

So we start off on the MegaShip. Today is "address the mundane" day, apparently. Cassie is studiously cleaning ALL THE THINGS. Andros and Ashley are sitting around eating and Andros gets up, and LEAVES HIS PLATE and all his crumbs everywhere. He is seriously a messy eater. Ashley then asks if Cassie has washed her sheets yet. Seriously Ashley? You ask if CASSIE has washed YOUR sheets?? She then leaves HER plate as well. Apparently Cassie is supposed to do it all herself. AND SHE IS ANGRY ABOUT THIS, RIGHTFULLY SO. Ashley points out that things get dirty again and then you just have to clean them again so what's the point, but YES THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK AND NO THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT OKAY TO JUST NOT CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. Cassie shouldn't be responsible for everything.

Carlos and TJ see this argument and stupidly attempt to break it up. TJ points out they agreed to divide the duties, except nobody but Cassie seems to realize that nobody else is doing their fair share. She's mopping and sweeping and cleaning up the table and the dishes and doing all the laundry and WHAT THE HELL ARE THE BOYS DOING? Seriously, a penis does not automatically exempt you from cleaning. And ASHLEY! You are adult. DO YOUR OWN DAMN LAUNDRY.

Meanwhile, Dark Specter lectures Astronema on time and all I can think about is how he doesn't have time to argue about the time. Psycho Yellow has a plan to destroy the rangers. Astronema is willing to listen, but she doesn't want to destroy them just yet. Instead, Yellow teams up with Pink.

Cassie is still cleaning. Andros asks her to check computer functions. Cassie points out that Ashley is supposed to do that, and she was supposed to mop. She mopped. Ashley didn't do her thing. TJ forcibly sits them down to lecture. He makes them talk about it. Cassie complains about doing all the cleaning and then TJ says they're acting like 2 year old tiny children (except even at 2, my kids knew how to help clean up after themselves). Except Cassie has a legitimate complaint! They all make messes, they should all clean it up. But TJ is determined to solve ALL THE PROBLEMS... which I adore about him.

So they have to stop because there is a fight to be had on Earth, of course, and Psycho Pink is kicking butt. Psycho Yellow is just biding time until the rangers are tired. TJ gets hurt, Cassie blames herself, then tries to protect them. Psycho Yellow uses the distraction to capture Ashley. Cassie blames herself again and is terribly distraught. Honey, none of this is your fault!

Meanwhile, Psycho Yellow is attempting to take the rest of Ashley's powers, but she's going to fight to the very end. Psycho Pink stops her, though, because this was not the game plan. They argue and fight and Ashley begins to see how not good the infighting is. She manages to escape.

Cassie is beating herself up over the argument and losing Ashley, but I still say Cassie was in the right. It's not petty to expect other residents of a place to help clean it. It's just not. It shouldn't all fall to Cassie just because she's a girl or actually does it. ALL the others need to chip in, not just Ashley! It's not hard to clean up after yourself, and if everybody cleans their own messes, the whole place will remain clean and not put undue burden on just one individual. Cassie really ought to be yelling at Carlos, Andros, and TJ as well. They are not allergic to cleaning! There is nothing in the Y chromosome that makes it impossible for boys to clean.

The Psychos almost get Ashley back, but Cassie comes to save her. They bond and make up. It's adorable. Then they kick ass and beat Psycho Pink on their own! Because they are awesome. She grows, using lots of Dark Specter's energy (which makes Astronema very happy), and they have to call out all the toys. But they still basically took her down on their own. Zhane has to come in and be a cocky badass to save the day, because apparently that is Zhane's only role in this show. Psycho Pink is destroyed and now the Psycho rangers are down one. Astronema is not happy.

Back on the MegaShip, everybody finishes up a meal. They all get up to leave and EVERYBODY LEAVES THEIR PLATES. AGAIN. Damn people, just take your freaking plate back to the replicator. This isn't even difficult or time consuming. IT'S EASY. Ashley goes to clean up, and then Cassie tells her it's still her job this week and she doesn't need Ashley's help. AND THEN TJ IS A BADASS AND NEEDS TO TEACH EVERYBODY EVER BECAUSE HE TELLS THE GIRLS TO STOP BECAUSE THE BOYS WILL DO THEIR SHARE AND CLEAN THE MESS. Andros and Carlos aren't happy about it, but TJ is all "Be a man and clean some damn dishes, it won't kill you". Oh TJ. You volunteered to clean. I am SWOONING (seriously, that's about all it takes for me).

4 fish, mostly because Cassie had a valid point most everybody else ignored and she really should have been yelling at ALL of them, not just Ashley.

Episode 255- Never Stop Searching

And we're back!

We open with Carlos proving that he's better with space transportation than Earth transportation, because he totally fixes the red Galaxy Glider. He stumbles upon Andros watching a video (who shot this video, we have no idea, don't try to throw logic into Power Rangers) of Tiny Children with Horrible Hair. Tiny Boy makes a ball for Tiny Girl to practice telekinesis on. Tiny Boy runs to catch the ball and Tiny Girl screams for Andros. Tiny Boy Andros runs after her, only to discover her taken by some dark shadow. He asks Deca to help him figure out who the dark shadow is, because he's never going to stop searching for his sister. Andros has a sad! And now Carlos, having seen the video, has a sad for Andros. He can't stop thinking about the Tiny Children. Andros continues to search for lifeforms. He tries going back to KO-35, in a galaxy which has apparently been deserted. Hello other Convenient Plot Device!

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are traveling with the Professor. He tells them about aliens hatching and hands grabbing and poor Bulk has an overactive imagination. They stumble upon a watermelon the Professor is sure is an alien. Oh, Professor. Bulk throws the watermelon in fear and it breaks over the three of them, an actual watermelon.

Back in space, Andros has reached KO-35. He shutes down to the deserted planet to see if he can find his sister. It's creepily empty. And there is no sign of Karone. Carlos can't sleep and goes to eat breakfast with the others... and their colour coded napkins. Andros is nowhere to be found and the red Galaxy Gilder is gone. Carlos explains what he learned about Andros the previous night, even though he's not supposed to know any of it and even though he hasn't talked to Andros about sharing this VERY PERSONAL SECRET. He decides to go check up on Andros.

Ecliptor has come to destroy KO-35 and is delighted to find Andros there already. He goes down to the planet to attack Andros. Why he didn't just blow up the planet with Andros on it I have no idea. You'd think that would be the easiest, quickest way to get rid of him... especially since he wouldn't know the attack was coming until the planet was all exploded around him.

Luckily Carlos came down to see how Andros was doing, because he interrupts the fight just in time to save Andros. He even jumps in front of Andros to save him from a direct hit! Good lord this is hitting ALL my favourite tropes. Andros drags poor Carlos back to Deca to help him. I didn't ship it before, but I SO DO NOW.

Andros, being Emo Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land, blames himself for Carlos. Aw, guilt. He refuses help and goes back to fight Elciptor all on his own again. Oh Andros. You need to learn to work with your team! Lucky for him they aren't about to let him deal with this on his own, so Cassie, Ashley, and TJ go after him once they realize he's missing. Even Carlos joins the fight, despite being beat all to hell and barely able to stand on his feet. HE WILL NOT LET HIS TEAM FIGHT ALONE! AW, CARLOS! He's also the smartest because he totally set up Alpha and Deca to use the Megaships weapons to blast Ecliptor from space.

Back on the Megaship, Andros apologizes for getting Carlos hurt. Carlos tells him he knows about Karone and if Andros will let them, they will help him find his sister. Because they're a team. And that's what they do. Andros acknowledges they work well together as a team and accepts the help. Aw.



Covered in food: Bulk, Skull, and the Professor covered in watermelon. I wish we didn't have to bring this back.

Episode 242- The Accident

Today on Power Rangers, Carlos has angst! ANGST!!! And I totally got to enjoy his ANGST with the excellent graphics of the episode on Netflix! Because nothing is better than Carlos ANGST coming through in beautiful clarity via streaming video and not an old VCR recorded tv version. ANGST!!!

Carlos' couch is late, as usual. He has a meeting with Carlos and some other kid. They are now going to be competing for the title of team captain. Other Kid apparently needs to learn sportsmanship. Just like all the rivals do. Are we surprised? Not really.

So during practice, Carlos accidentally hurts Other Kid (whose name is apparently Owen). Somehow Carlos broke Other Kid's leg. Except Carlos didn't even touch him. But now Carlos has ANGST. He has the best sadface EVER.

The team is totes divided and a little mini-war breaks out with hallway battles! Half the team thinks Carlos intentionally sprained Owen's ankle. The other half thinks Carlos didn't touch him. Owen Supporters quit out of protest. We get to see Carlos' sadface again. I highly approve of this.

Bulk and Skull are now water boys. They fail. Skull has a new haircut. He looks super hot at least! Carlos, meanwhile, isn't having much luck at being the captain. He's sure he hurt Owen and he feels really bad about it, even reflecting on it in the middle of the practice while wondering if it was really an accident or somehow intentional. Carlos and Adam really need to hang out more often. WAY more often. They have ALL the things in common.

Divatox is going to use this distraction to her benefit by playing MIND GAMES. Because she is a great villain. She makes some piranhatrons look like Owen and his cronies. Carlos is conflicted because they make him feel horrible! Poor Carlos. Luckily the rangers show up and show him the truth. Carlos fights unmorphed while the rest are morphed. It is AWESOME.

At school, Carlos apologizes to Owen for hurting him. Except Carlos is not totally sure he tripped Owen at all, but Owen is all "I am grievously injured so obviously you did it, yo" and gives Carlos and even bigger sad. Carlos goes to brood when he is confronted with the Blue Senturian, who wants to make him feel better, though he's not sure it's a legal matter he can assist in. I hate him.

Elgar comes crashing to Earth in the zord he was test driving for Divatox. BS tries to arrest him. It's very boring and doesn't pertain to the episode AT ALL. There is a big zord battle between BS and Elgar's zord. Carlos and the others go to help. I liked this episode much more before there was all the zord fighting.

The only good thing is Elgar manages to trick the Rangers into attacking BS and Carlos is all "OH NOES! I hurt another friend!" But then it gets boring again because Elgar is missing a crucial piece to his zord and it just kind of... falls apart. I'd really like to go back to Carlos and his angst now.

And we do! Carlos has quit as team captain and Owen wants to know why. He's all confused. Carlos isn't quite sure he wants to explain. Owen finally admits that Carlos didn't even touch him, he just tripped over his own two feet and sprained his ankle that way. It was a really jerky thing to do and Carlos just forgives him for turning half the team against him just like that.

2 fish! Surprisingly low for Turbo.

Episode 219 - A Drive to Win

YOU GUYS, IT'S CARLOS AND ASHLEY!!!!!!

I um, possibly ship them. JUST A LITTLE. Or a LOT

So, Adam is apparently coaching a soccer team. One that happens to have Carlos as the star player. Aww. However, Carlos hasn't even become a Ranger yet, and he still needs to learn the lesson about teamwork. He seems to be forgetting that soccer is a team sport, so he doesn't really pass to anyone. Winning is the most important thing, so when Adam gives him the speech about making sure everyone gets a chance to play and teamwork he seriously looks at Adam like he's from another planet. It's great.

Meanwhile, Ashley is off being a cheerleader. The cheers are horrible and one of the girls on the squad is complaining about how if she had known it would be this much work, she'd have joined the army instead. Cheerleading is hard work.

Back at the Juice Bar, Kat and Tanya are practicing with Tommy, which in this case means that they're mostly practicing judo and throwing him to the ground. I approve so hard. They also seem to be getting revenge for him spending so much time at the racetrack - Kat in particular is not impressed.

Divatox has a plan - she sends down some Pirahnatrons to annoy everyone at the soccer field, and we get an unmorphed fight. Except not just Adam - Carlos and Ashley fight as well! In fact, for some reason it seems as if Divatox is concentrating on them. Hmmm. Afterwords, Carlos offers to walk Ashley home, and she accepts, although she tells him that she doesn't need his protection. He agrees, but says he needed an excuse to talk to her. SHIP THEM SO MUCH.

Also, I maintain that the reason that Angel Grove's economy runs on martial arts is that 90% of the people take some sort of self defense class. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, that's probably a good idea.

Divatox plants a detonator at the soccer field, and it will activate when Angel Grove's team scores 4 goals against Stone Canyon - something Divatox is counting on Carlos to do. The bad guys cheering for Angel Grove is hilarious and awesome - they should do it more often. Carlos continues to play a very self-centered form of soccer, and when he tries to brag to Ashley, she tells him off, and he feels bad.

Of course, midway through the game (tied at 3-3) communicators go off, and Adam has to be the worst coach ever and leave in the middle of a game. There's some sort of ridiculous fight that makes no sense at all that involves the monster and Elgar on motorcycles that are shooting electricity or something? Then there are Zords, and wow, do I not care. MORE CARLOS AND ASHLEY.

Back at the soccer game, apparently nobody has scored at all while the Rangers were gone. Either there was halftime, or Stone Canyon seriously stepped up their game. Meanwhile, Justin has detected the Turbo Navigator, because he is SMART and carries his around with him. Which frankly, all the Rangers should be doing. He gets it from behind the scoreboard and deactivates it, just as Carlos remembers that teamwork exists and passes the ball to the teammate he'd been previously mocking. The teammate scores the 4th goal, and Angel Grove wins.

Ashley invites Carlos to walk her home, Divatox is sad, and Bulk and Skull are cheerleader!monkeys. Oh, and Divatox pretty much explicitly says that she was after Carlos and Ashley because of the Millenium Message. :D

I love this episode.

Fish: 2.5. How did Adam not get fired for LEAVING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GAME???

Episode 212- Built For Speed

It's an Adam episode! It's... a really bad Adam episode.

So apparently the radio station is putting on some play/stunt show/thing. It's set in the 1950's and has cast a bunch of local teens in the stunt show. All the bad kids apparently also had to play the bad kids in the wild west show. And every other show. They're totally typecast and not at all happy about it. So a fight ensues and Tanya gets all mad they went off script. Apparently this happens a lot because the two groups cannot get along. Outside, they challenge each other to a drag race. Adam tries to talk them out of it.

Guys, it's just a play! But they wear clothes in the stereotypical "bad boy" 1950's style and they drive 1950's cars and they apparently really are like that or something? Is Angel Grove stuck in a time warp or something? THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

Meanwhile, some super speedy racer monster has planted a super small detonator on one of the cars. Adam chases him and manages to blow him up. Porto made a second one, however, and they all have to go fight it. They did a really BAD job of splicing the Japanese footage with the US footage. It looks like a completely different show set in a completely different country BECAUSE IT IS. Adam blows up the guy again. And then they have to fight him again and Tommy shows a stunning moment of character development, however brief, by allowed Adam to take charge and destroy the monster for good.

At the drag race: Bulk and Skull hide in the back of the cars in hopes to bring attention to themselves. As the drag racers manage to head off towards the cliff, the chimpanzees cover their eyes and they go right off the edge. Luckily the Megazord is there to catch them... except at those speeds and that sudden a stop, there would have been MAJOR damage to both cars and people. Adam gets rid of the detonator in the car and lectures the kids about drag racing. They apologize to each other once back on solid ground. Lt. Stone shows up to get the chimps and actually starts to think they might be Bulk and Skull, except they drive off in his car before he can say so.

5 fish. What the hell is up with the stupid time warp going on????

Episode 205- A Season to Remember

For the record, this episode is entirely AU in our minds. Mkay?

So we couldn't move on to Turbo without doing this monstrosity of a holiday special. The great thing about this is? We're recapping it NOT during the holiday season this is supposed to be about. This would be a very grumpy recap indeed were I doing it anytime from October-January. But instead we're doing it really really close to Purim! Which is the best holiday EVER! So I'm HAPPY! Which made this far more tolerable than it is any other time of year.

So! We start off with an opening that pegs this as a 90's Christmas special. Blurred ornaments, a tree, close up of a Santa ornament, roaring fire, and finally an old man with The Grandson on his knee. He begins to tell The Grandson a story about his best Christmas. In Tommy's very bad old man voice.

In the Youth Center, many years prior to the previous scene (yet oddly with the same fashion sense...), everybody is setting up some sort of holiday decoration. Rocky brings in tamales made by his mother. He is looking forward to all the food. Raymond is there as the Token Jew and he has the BEST HAIR EVER. Oh Raymond, I LOVE YOU. They all miss Billy, who is apparently off at a family holiday reunion.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are being detectives wrapping presents. Skull wishes there were round wrapping paper as he's trying to wrap a bowling ball. They hide the presents quickly when Detective Stone comes in and mentions the latest caper. Skull mishears and thinks he's asking about capers and gets all excited. He wants a bagel with lox and onion. SKULL IS MY FAVOURITE. I would gift a limb for a good bagel with lox and red onion. Mmmmm. Now I'm hungry. And we're totally thinking Skull is Jewish now. Eugene Skullovitch? Could be! Bulk could be as well with the name Bulkmeier. Or he could not. But we think Power Rangers could use more than Token Jew Guest Star and Bridge so... we're going with Jewish!Skull. Anyway, they're supposed to find a missing fruitcake.

At the Power Chamber, it's all decorated for Christmas. Even the outside has lights. Zordon gives Alpha fuzzy ducky slippers. Alpha wrote a program that gives Zordon a Santa hat. WHY are they celebrating Christmas? They aren't even from Earth!

Meanwhile, Raymond is explaining Chanukah to everybody else. For all of ten seconds. He mentions the eight candles being lit, one per night, and that represents freedom for the Jews. And that is all he says, while everyone else is really patronizing with "That's really interesting" and "I had no idea there were so many different ways to celebrate.". Mkay then. On the plus side, Raymond puts on a kippah that looks just like my son's baby kippah, which he cannot wear anymore, alas. Then we get Tanya explaining Kwanzaa in great detail, which I think is awesome because usually Kwanzaa gets overlooked even more than Chanukah. Thank you, show! You win, at this part at least.

Anyway, Mondo doesn't like all this goodwill and cheer going around, so he and Sprocket decide to make everybody hate each other instead. Sprocket goes down to the Youth Center right after Ernie leaves and turns the rangers and Token Jew Raymond against each other. They start snipping and fighting. Tanya gets upset when they talk about Christmas and we get that she celebrates Kwanzaa, but it's not mutually exclusive! You can celebrate both Kwanzaa and Christmas! TANYA MOCKS TOMMY AND IT IS THE BEST EVER. And then Tommy orders Raymond to go get him a Christmas tree. Stupid Tommy. Raymond tries to leave. They're okay with that because they can't have the Jew getting in the way of their Christmas celebration. Y'know, this bit here? With the fighting and the My Holiday Is Better Than Yours and the Why Can't You All Shut Up So I Can Celebrate? THIS IS HOW REAL LIFE IS.

The only good part is there is at least some acknowledgment of Adam's history here. He is Korean-American. He snipes that not everybody even celebrates holidays at that time of year, LIKE IN KOREA. Atheist or Buddhist Adam? YES PLEASE. (and yes, I know many atheists that celebrate Christmas because they were brought up with it... I also know many that don't)

So there are no weapons that can fight this hatred. Only the kindness of their hearts can fight it. And they can't find any kindness right now. Then Sprocket steals all their stuff. A Tiny Child comes in with a poster of togetherness she wants to hang up. Everybody is still very angry at each other and are mean to the Tiny Child. Tiny Child says the greatest gift of all is love (which I agree with) and then sings a song her mother sings when she's angry or sad. Tiny Child cannot sing. The song makes no sense for the situation it's supposed to come from. It's about taking hands and being stronger. This breaks the spell. Everyone apologizes.

Bulk and Skull find a really huge fruitcake. It was made for them by Rito and Goldar. AWWWWW. That's so sweet. Skull has to call his Aunt Milly to get her to replace the missing fruitcake, because they can't take the one Rito and Goldar made for them. He uses his SHOE PHONE. SHOE PHONE PEOPLE.

At the Youth Center, they found Raymond's chanukiah. Kat asks him to show her how to light the candles. He agrees and then they walk off camera. Really? We can't even get that?

Back in Not Really Future Land, Old!Kat tells Old!Tommy to stop telling stories because it's late. Older The Grandson comes to pick up Younger The Grandson and they are clearly NOT in Angel Grove because he's brushing snow off his jacket. His "watch" beeps that old familiar calling, and he asks them to watch Younger The Grandson a little while longer. "Must run in the family". *barf*

And that's that, thank goodness it's over.

2 fish. Mostly because it's AU. Rage-inducing in a lot of places, yeah, but again... AU.

Episode 189- Mondo's Last Stand

I freaking love this episode, guys. It spawned the only other Rocky pairing I can legitimately ship (that is not Rocky/Adam, that is)!

So we start off with Jason and Adam sparring. It's Very Pretty. Rocky comes up and asks Tommy if he'll train with him, but Tommy is too busy because he trades places with Adam. Bulk and Skull tease him about being replaced and he doesn't really buy it at first. Until he goes to talk to Billy and he runs away to learn a new kata from Jason. Poor Rocky! He really feels like he's being replaced. Bulk and Skull being bullies about it doesn't exactly help, but still. He's getting brushed off a lot here.

Meanwhile, some lady hires the detectives to find the original model for the Burble Baby Food jars. They estimate he would be a teenager and a recent transfer to Angel Grove. They suspect Jason. They are WRONG.

In harassing Jason, Bulk and Skull dislodge his communicator. The others are called to a fight and Jason is left behind. He never checks in, never joins them, never tries to get to the Power Chamber. We don't know what he does. The others, once the fight is over, are left to split up and go find him. Rocky pouts about this, especially because as he's trying to leave the door closes on his face and WILL NOT OPEN FOR HIM. Oh Rocky.

Mondo is searching for the Sword of Damocles right where Rocky is searching for Jason. He comes across Mondo and decides to show the others that he's important too and takes on Mondo all on his own. Oh Rocky, honey, this is not one of your more brilliant plans. He does actually hold his own for awhile at least!

But he's forced to retreat and then Mondo goes to attack the city. Rocky blames himself, as he is wont to do, and we just have to wonder... where the heck were the others during all this? They all show up at the same time with Jason, but really? They couldn't have helped him earlier? Reassured him or something? Meh. And how did Zordon NOT NOTICE his ranger fighting Mondo ALONE?!?!?!?!

Anyway, they have to go fight while Jason goes to the junkyard to find a part that Billy accidentally beamed over with old Zord wreckage. Really? Dumping your Ranger junk at the junkyard is probably not the best idea, guys. Anyway, Jason finds it just as he's attacked by cogs, so Billy beams it out and begins working on it.

There is a very boring fight where the rangers call Zords and fight a giant Mondo with the sword and yada yada yada. They win. Mondo explodes. Machina reassures Sprocket that it's happened to Mondo before and he'll be fine. Elsewhere on the moon, Rita and Zedd show up in an RV to get Rito and Goldar.

Back at the Youth Center, the lady tells Bulk and Skull the calculations were off. The Burble Baby is actually middle aged and has lived in Angel Grove for years. It's Ernie! He is now the proud owner of a lifetime supply of baby food. He decides he should make baby food smoothies. EW.

Rocky apologizes to everybody for being headstrong and Jason reassures him they are friends. How Jason knew Rocky's freak out was over him, we're not sure. There had to have been an off screen "talk". Rocky needs to stop apologizing because it's not his fault and he clearly doesn't believe what he's saying anyway, but everybody takes him at face value and moves on. Way to be bad friends, guys!

2 fish. It could have used more Rocky/Jason, though!

Fic we want: More Rocky/Jason. It needs to exist, yo.
Also, Rocky calling Aisha and being all "AISHA, FIX MY LIFE"

Episode 125 - Stop the Hate Master Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - we seriously need a Care Bears crossover. Also, we hate rapping monsters.

The episode begins with Alpha scanning Aisha with a giant magnet to try and figure out why she's immune to the Hate Master's spell. The answer is clearly just that Aisha is that awesome, except it turns out that Aisha's necklace has just absorbed all of her family's love over the generations. So Aisha comes from a family of awesome. We approve of this. Just as they're figuring it out, someone hacks the Command Center, shutting down all the power and cutting off their access to Zordon.

Damn, Billy is good at this being evil thing. (He also refers to Kim as a snippy little upstart and tells her to go find a mall. I'm assuming that there's just been hatesex.) Even though they all hate each other, the Rangers are still hanging out together. (Rocky's contribution to the hate is leering at Adam.)

Up on the moon, Zedd comments that the Rangers are almost cute when they're nasty, and we have to agree. Rita wants to know when they'll be done destroying the Rangers so that they can go on their honeymoon, since apparently Goldar crashed it last time. She's a lot more friendly to Zedd right now.

At Ernie's, Bulk and Skull are posing as waiters to try and solve the graffiti bandit case. They're really bad at being waiters, and end up spilling food all over some poor woman.

While all this is going on, Aisha realizes that they do have one power source left - Alpha. So they use just enough of Alpha's power to get the teleporters up, so that she can go try and turn off Billy's blocking device. She also leaves her necklace behind so that once the power is back, Alpha can use it to power the care bears stare and remove the spell. This is not quite as good a plan, because she really shouldn't give up her only means of protection, and once the power is back she could just teleport back and give Alpha her necklace. But I guess they didn't think of that.

Alpha still doesn't have enough power to teleport her directly to the Juice Bar, but he does get her to the park, where she is promptly attacked by tengas, and then the Hate Master. (Somehow she went from the park to the lake in the process) Aisha beats the Hate Master's spell by remembering her grandmother's words of wisdom to her about how hate is a bad thing, and the Hate Master runs away, totally undone by the power of Aisha's awesome.

At the Youth Center, Adam tells some random guy to move, because he's going to work out there. He's all forceful. ♥ Tommy laughs at Adam, and tells him that he'll be the one working out. Then Adam tells Tommy that he's way better than Adam is, and then they're about to fight for control of the Rangers. We are (unsurprisingly) rooting for Adam. Unfortunately, at this point Aisha shows up and manages to knock them out of the spell just enough that Billy hands over the blocker and Aisha restores power to the Command Center, and then Zordon and Alpha send out the Care Bears Stare to destroy all remnants of the spell. Which means we don't get the Adam vs Tommy fight.

The Rangers all morph and go summon their Zords to fight the Hate Master. This is an awesome Zord fight, and we don't say that very often. But they fight the monster individually! The Frog Zord has an army of tiny Frog Zords that electrocute the monster! And then the Frog Zord spits fire! The other Zords all shoot lasers or whatever, but it's pretty cool. Also, for some reason Titanus is there.

At the end of the episode, Bulk and Skull (also free of the Hate Master's spell) announce that they've solved the graffiti bandit crime. Turns out that Skull sleepwalks. (Oh, Skull) Ernie makes them clean it up. You would think that they would open the envelopes before they make big announcements.

Adam apologizes to Tommy, who tells him to forget about it. Nobody else bothers to apologize, and instead there's a love fest.

Fish: 3! Not too bad overall.

Covered in: Poor random lady was covered in food.

Fic we want: Besides the care bears thing, we're still in favor of hatesex. Also, Adam challenging Tommy for control of the Rangers. :D And Aisha's family!

Episode 107 - Best Man For The Job

Today on Power Rangers - The exciting world of Angel Grove politics! The Geography makes even less sense than usual! Skull channels Bert from Mary Poppins and Tommy really can't get along with anyone!

Seriously, I love this episode.

We begin with the announcement that school elections are being held. Billy decides that Tommy would make a good president, and we wonder if Billy hit his head before the episode began. The slogan he comes up with for Tommy's campaign (Tommy Oliver - the best man for the job) just confirms this. Why would Tommy be good at being president? What are his qualifications? Has he expressed any interest in running for student council? I think not.

Aisha clearly has some sense, because she pulls Kim aside and tells her that sometimes the best man for the job is a woman, and that Kim should run for class president. This is slightly better. But do you know who would make an awesome class president? Aisha. You know, the one who already has control issues and wants to improve the community? Remember that? But instead Aisha decides that Kim should run and she'll manage the campaign.

Kimberly asks Tommy if he'd be okay with her running against him. He tells her it's fine, and I don't see why he has a say in it. *grumpy* But the fact is, he does support her in this, so he gets about a million points for that. The two of them agree to have a nice campaign since they're friends. Aww.

In an amazing nod to continuity, Skull would also like to be class president. He will get rid of homework, detention, and school if he's elected. Bulk ignores him for a minute, and then decides that he should run for president on a campaign promise of revealing the Rangers' secret identities. He seems to think these will be in the school files. ... Right. Skull sulks for a minute, and then supports Bulk. Don't worry, Skull, we're only a season and a half away from Bulk supporting you!

Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd start arguing over who could come up with a better plan to destroy the Rangers. Zedd goes off to plot, while Rita just pulls out the glowing rope of doom and puts a spell on Tommy and Kim to make them really try to beat each other. Because we need another lesson in learning to get along. (Common denominator of all of those spells - Tommy. HA.) As soon as they trip over the glowing rope of doom they begin to bicker, and clearly the writers' know exactly what Tommy's weaknesses are, because Kimberly hits the nail on the head with her insults.

The next day Tommy is drawing a mustache and a beard on Kimberly's poster. Billy shows up and is all horrified, but Tommy just then covers up his own handiwork with a sign of himself. Billy lets Tommy know that they're ahead in the polls by 15% (really? When was this poll? They just announced this earlier that day! And are we sure the polling data is accurate?) and Tommy tells him he wants to beat Kim by 50%. Kimberly and Aisha show up, and Kim and Tommy start arguing about who will win. They accost some random guy in the hall, and Tommy is all "You WILL vote for me, right?" except Kimberly grabs the same guy and informs Tommy he'll vote for her. "Win with Kim!" (Which is a much better slogan than the best man for the job. Anyway.) Billy walks off with Tommy, and Kimberly defaces Tommy's poster so that it says "Don't Vote For Dummy." *DEAD*

Bulk is campaigning in a top hat. How is he so awesome?

Rocky and Adam finally show up. We're pretty sure that they were off making out. Or they just didn't want to choose between their friends. I like the first theory better.

Tommy finds a note taped to his locker telling him to go to the park if he wants information on how to destroy Kimberly. He goes, and it is, of course, a trap. Goldar and some putties are waiting for him. There's a pretty awesome fight scene, but Tommy is quickly overwhelmed. Zordon actually notices something, and calls the other Rangers, who are busy confronting Kim about the negative campaign. Kimberly mocks Tommy for getting into trouble again, and then the five Rangers morph in the hallway. Secret identities? Really?

Kim and Tommy spend the whole fight arguing with each other. Goldar is totally confused, because they're completely ignoring him, trampling any putties who get in the way of their bickering. Goldar finally manages to get their attention by stealing Saba and Kimberly and Tommy continue to argue over whose fault it was.

Back at the Command Center, Billy has finally realized that maybe the two of them are under a spell. Zordon agrees, and says that smelling roses will fix it.

.....

Right. So they smell the roses and apologize to each other. Tommy stays behind to help Alpha build an electromagnet (I DON'T EVEN KNOW) to get Saba back, while the other Rangers go back to the park. Keep in mind they are at the park. This is important. Rita is actually on Earth (although we don't get to see her bicycle) and she uses Saba to summon the tigerzord. The other Rangers call the megazord and they fight. Except the fight scene keeps going between a fight at the lake and a fight in downtown. I'm pretty sure there aren't any giant buildings in the middle of Angel Grove park, except they clearly squash one during the fight. Angel Grove geography makes no sense at all.

Tommy shows up with the magnet and they get the sword back, and Rita teleports back to the moon. Everyone is happy.

Later, at the Youth Center the candidates are giving their speeches. Why this is being held at the juice bar and not in the school we.... have no idea. Kim is wrapping up a speech, where she has clearly outlined a plan and has done research. (Or Aisha has. I have a theory.) Tommy gets up to give his speech, and instead says that actually, Kim would be better at this than he would be, because she clearly has a plan, and he's just there to look pretty. So he forfeits.

Skull shows up, all one man band and announces Bulk. Bulk is all dressed up as Uncle Sam and makes his speech about the identity of the Rangers. Then the elections are held. I guess there are only 100 people in the whole school? But Kim wins. Bulk demands a recount, and the principal tells him that he only got one vote. Bulk glares at Skull, and Skull says that Kim made an awesome speech.

I am actually not too happy with this election - I would have liked Kim to win based on her awesome speech, and not just because Tommy dropped out and basically gave it to her. She did the research, and Tommy wasn't prepared. Basically, she won by default, and I'm just not okay with that.

Oh well.

Five episodes left in the season! We're getting there!

Fish: 3.5! Hey, we've gotten out of the high fish episodes!

Fic people should write us: President Aisha! And grownup!Skull/Kim!

Episode 53- Fins and Needles

So the episode list has episode 53 listed as Fowl Play. Even the little title screen has it as Fowl Play. I was so so so excited to recap a Zack episode today! But no, we start it up and get Fins and Needles instead. Yet another Jason and Tommy Need to Learn to Work Together episode. Which makes number what, four, for that theme? If they haven't learnt the lesson by now, I don't think they're going to. So anyway.

Uh, today on Power Rangers, Jason and Tommy are dense, Zordon kind of fails, the rangers are creepy with small children, and Jason really needs some fiber for regularity.

We start out the episode with Tommy and Jason getting along just fine while teaching a free martial arts class for small people at the Youth Center. This is where we start going "Wait... what? Where's Zack?" And we decide we really like appreciating Jason's arms in this episode, but I would really like to appreciate Jason's arms in a Zack-centric episode. Not that I'm bitter or anything. Anyway, moving on.

Rita creates the Slippery Shark monster and has some putties go down to put Jason and Tommy under a spell. Again. They end up in a park fighting the putties when Tommy gets knocked down. Jason protects him by standing over him and catching some evil boomerang with the palms of his hands. Mmkay. Basically this means they're now under a spell. Again.

The putties leave and they start fighting. Again. Haven't we done this plot before? *le sigh*

At school the following day, Tommy is leaning against Jason's locker while talking to Kim and Trini. Jason says excuse me, prompting Tommy to move, but then they just stand there and insult each other like an old married couple. We chuckle because Tommy is just flinging crap, but Jason's insults are actually true. Kim and Trini have no clue what's going on, but soon the insults escalate into physical violence. Bulk and Skull actually sort of attempt to break it up when Mrs. Applebee walks up, asks what's going on, and then accuses them of lying when they tell her exactly what's going on. Kim jumps in and tells her Jason and Tommy were just practicing moves for their class and way to just flat out LIE to the teacher, Kim. The boys get off the hook because, well, one teacher and they're the favourites.

At the Youth Center again, Bulk and Skull are selling tickets to the Jason and Tommy fight. They're making a killing and some guy buys 20 tickets randomly. It's not a raffle, dude, it's just admission. I have to comment here that Jason doesn't look so much angry as constipated. Upon commencement of the fight, Zack steps in to try and break it up. He just wants them to get along! Sweet sweet Zack, we love you so. I wish this were your episode.

Zordon, after spending probably about 24 hours without noticing the spell, contacts the rangers. Zack manages to break up the fight long enough to get Jason and Tommy to go into the hallway and teleport to the Command Center. The very large crowd of teenagers don't notice, don't follow, but instead chase Bulk and Skull for a refund. It's either major secret identity FAIL or major teenagers are dumb... with Angel Grove, either or both is plausible.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them about the Slippery Shark and how they need to go fight it. And oh yeah, Jason and Tommy are under a spell that makes them fight, by the way, did you notice? *eyeroll* Apparently the only way to break the spell is to get them to set aside their animosity and work together. Y'know, just like every other time this plot has been used with Jason and Tommy.

So the two of them go off to fight the shark together, leaving the others behind in the Youth Center to twiddle their thumbs, possibly find a very uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen), and observe the viewing globe.

Jason and Tommy can't seem to work together and separate to fight the shark. Tommy wants to attack him while he's under ground, Jason wants to go after him while he's in the air. They decide to go their own way and if Tommy wins he gets to be leader of the Power Rangers and if Jason wins he gets Tommy's power coin. We cheer for Jason. Loudly. Neither of them succeed, though, and after a few minutes of me going "Oh hai thar sentai footage!" (because neither Jason David Frank nor Austin St. John are that skinny and lanky), they finally decide to combine their plans.

Somehow this means throwing a net over the shark while he's popping out the ground? It really had nothing to do with their individual plans, but okay. They worked together and the spell is broken, just like that. So instead of calling for the others, they continue to fight the shark just the two of them. The others must still be busy... observing the viewing globe... possibly from the back of the Volkswagen.

Eventually they can't fight it anymore and call the others. I get excited because Zack gets to do the morphin call! We get some awesome Power Weapons shots, but then the monster grows and they have to call the Zords. The shark just kind of runs between the MegaZord and the DragonZord and they don't seem to try to fight it at all. Then they decide to go with teamwork. The MegaZord holds the shark's fin while the DragonZord whaps it a few times with it's tail. They're making headway! And we haven't even heard mention of the Power Sword yet! So I get all ahead of myself and we have this conversation:
QR: teamwork... by holding the fin so the DragonZord can whack at him for awhile?
okay...
at least it's not another "Power Sword saves them all" fight
or is it?
TSB: you were saying?
QR: oh, it is
nevermind
damn
In other words, they hit it with the Power Sword and it goes kaboom.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Tommy are teaching the small children in the free karate class again. Billy, Trini, Kim, and Zack are standing on the sidelines watching and talking VERY LOUDLY about Rita putting Jason and Tommy under a spell. Y'know, talking about being rangers, while standing right next to a group of kids? That's not how secret identities work, guys, I'm just saying. Bulk and Skull come in and demand the fight they feel they are owed. Jason and Tommy provoke them and then step out of the way when Bulk and Skull try to punch them. Bulk and Skull keel over and Jason and Tommy tell the kids of the class that there are always ways other than fighting. The other four are touching the inappropriately young friends inappropriately and I'm bothered.

I still wish this had been the Zack episode.

List time-
2 fish, mostly because I'm already tired of this plot, cohesive though it is.

Billy speak: "It's truly inspiring to see them volunteer their time to teach free classes."
"This confrontation could have disastrous results!"

Covered in food: nobody!

Episode 52 - Two Heads are Better Than One

This episode sucked AND it pissed me off.




... Apparently I still have to do a recap. Fine. Tommy and Jason are teaching a women's self defense class. Good for them, although I would have liked Trini to have been the one teaching it. But then we get to their advice. Which apparently boils down to yell really loudly and always use the buddy system. Because, you know, if you walk by yourself you'll be raped and it will totally be your fault and WHAT THE HELL SHOW. Rage blackout number 1. (There was a lot more cursing and a lot more all caps in the first draft of this post.)

Also, apparently they're just teaching the moms of Angel Grove. Because if you're not in high school you must be a mother and it isn't like there are any single women. Or maybe they should just stay at home by themselves.

Anyway, class ends, and the Rangers all go to try Ernie's new drink. I guess all the money from the reward paid off. Bulk and Skull show up, wanting to join the class that Jason and Tommy are teaching. The boys point out that the class is over, and then Trini reminds them that it is a women's self defense class. Bulk and Skull say that they just want to meet babes, like Kimberly, and then Skull sniffs her hair, and in context it is so incredibly inappropriate that I have rage blackout number 2.

Apparently this episode is supposed to be about teamwork or something, because Rita creates a monster that has two heads, since that's better than one. They repeat that a lot. Tommy and Jason get attacked in the park and they morph. Jason wants to fight, but Tommy wants to retreat. I guess this is also the Tommy and Jason need to learn how to get along episode. Which already happened once.

So, they go with Tommy's plan and teleport to the Command Center instead of just calling for help. Apparently the way to defeat the ridiculous bird thing is to feed it a pamango fruit. Hey, guess what type of drinks Ernie was serving earlier! Gee, I wonder if this will be relevant. Tommy goes to the park to go climb a tree and find a fruit, but he gets attacked by putties and they steal the pamango. I guess that there was only one tree and that tree only had one fruit. Right. Whatever. But seriously, if it's native to Angel Grove, couldn't they have gone to a grocery store?

Instead, Tommy goes to Ernie and feeds him a bullshit story about how he bought Kim a parrot and the parrot needs a pamango. Ernie humors him and gives him the fruit (I am firmly convinced that he assumes it was for Ranger related reasons and was amazed at the sheer stupidity of Tommy's lie) and Tommy goes off to join the other Rangers, who have been fighting the monster. Apparently Jason is failing at teamwork because he didn't wait for Tommy? Because this monster is too smart for them? I fail to see how waiting for Tommy will improve their chances. Anyway, Tommy shows up with the fruit and the monster fights over the fruit. It reminds us of gooney bird eggs. Rita makes the monster grow, and they summon Titanus and defeat it. (Side note - it seems that Tommy is way more powerful than the rest of them, but isn't he operating on limited power?)

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie asks Kim about her parrot, but apparently Tommy never bothered to tell her about the lie, so she's totally confused. Bulk and Skull interrupt the women's self defense class, and it is time for rage blackout number 3. Jason and Tommy allow Bulk and Skull to be the attackers in the self defense class, and the moms beat them up. Which I actually have a problem with, because you need to learn how to take a fall, and they could have been actually hurt, and basically everything about this episode upset me.

I fail to see how the last line of "two moms are better than one" is relevant anyway. Or why this episode was about teamwork. It is now stricken from my personal canon.


Fish. FIVE FISH. Between the rage inducing and the fact that the plot made no sense there's nothing else we could give it.

Billy speak: "It's a mixture of ananas comosus, cydia fruit, and carica fruit" (seriously? Google tells us it is actually Cydia FRUIT MOTHS. I'm really grossed out now.) (We're hoping that he actually said SANDIA fruit, which is watermelon. But it sure didn't sound that way.)
"By doubling it's cranial capacity, Rita has created a..."
"Perhaps we could distract it with it's favourite food. Parrots do like fruit."

Quotable Quotes: Polly want a megazord?