Episode 361 - Yesterday Again

Today on Power Rangers, it's a much less amusing with no lesson learnt version of Groundhog Day!

We start with Carter failing to fly. He jumps out of his ship and lands... on the clouds? It's totally a simulation. At least they test stuff? Although they don't give a lot of training or time, seeing as they're testing Carter's ability to fly this thing and expect him to fly it for realsies THE NEXT DAY. Joel attempts to be nice, but it just comes across as condescending (or his jerkiness has tainted my view, whatever).

In the mess hall, everyone is confident in Carter. He is Pouty McPouterson and doubts himself while Dana tells really terrible jokes out of the newspaper. I LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU GUYS. Kelsey learns the valuable lesson of NOT rollerblading in the house, because she knocks over a big bowl of breakfast and she, the cook, and the floor are covered in oatmeal. Oh show. We're never going to get rid of that covered in food footnote, are we? At least Chad and Dana help her clean up. I'm sure Joel and Carter would have, but they had more important flying things to do.

Carter still fails. I'm wondering if the problem isn't with the jet instead of Carter. He seemed to be doing just fine when the jet engine started sparking. While he's attempting to NOT BLOW UP, a monster attacks and the rest of the team have to go out and stop it. While he tries to fix the jet. Since when is Carter a mechanic or an engineer? I thought he was a firefighter. He's certainly no Damon!

He morphs, jumps back in the jet, and rushes off to go help his friends, leaving his jacket behind to dramatically flutter in the wind. It's all slow motion and ominous and SUPER DRAMATIC and I love it. He's too late though, showing up just in time to watch his friends get blown to smithereens.

And then he jumps out of the simulation to find Joel standing there telling him he's okay and he'll be ready to fly for real tomorrow. Except he's very concerned because he thought Joel was dead. And nobody seems to think that's strange? What is this magic? It's as if science took a holiday and now Carter is living the day ALL OVER AGAIN. He answers Dana's really bad joke. He dramatically turns as Kelsey dramatically blades towards the chef and then dramatically stops her from spilling oatmeal everywhere. He tells Ms. Fairweather he's concerned he's reliving the same day over again and all she can say is "Simulations can be disorienting." I THINK THAT'S A LITTLE MORE SERIOUS THAN DISORIENTING, MKAY???? And he is CLEARLY not fit to fly, but they're sending him out anyway.

While fixing the power circuits, again, he spies his Dramatic Jacket from his previous day. He determines he traveled through time and that's why he relived the day over again. This... makes no sense. Science is taking a MAJOR holiday here. This is not how even the most unaccepted views on potential time travel work. He rushes off to his friends again and shows up in just enough time to stop them from being blown to smithereens. This time.

Carter uses missiles to attack the monster and manages to do loops and tight corners and amazing tricks in the jet that JUST MOMENTS AGO HE COULDN'T FLY SO BADLY THAT HE BROKE THE ENGINE. That's right. He's now an expert. And apparently the monster can fly because he's chasing Carter in the jet. Carter makes a daring high speed escape. Monster grows. Zords come out. Big fight. Whatever. I'm so done with this episode.

In order to fix the jet, Ms. Fairweather had to replace basically everything. All the circuits. All the fuses. All the everything. But it won't give him any problems now, apparently! Joel gives him the hat. He pulls it off way better. End credits. FINALLY.


5 fish. Just... no.
Covered in food: Kelsey, a chef, and the floor absolutely pasted over with oatmeal.

This is getting the dramatic cape tag because seriously... that dramatic fluttering jacket was the only good thing about that episode.

Episode 323- To the Tenth Power

Today on Power Rangers, we get to see the Space Rangers again! We start off with data cards! DATA CARDS! And wanton murder of shady alien who had the data cards. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS???? DATA CARDS! SPAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEEEE. Deviot reanimates the Psycho Rangers and ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. They are all there and it's wonderful. They totally don't want to listen to Trakeena but she is more evil than they are and makes them listen. Andros is back in his Cloak of Not-A-Good-Disguise and is disappointed to discover he is too late to stop the transfer of the Psycho Rangers. On Terra Venture, Damon is sad because he carries all the groceries while Maya eats an apple. A hand appears out of the ground and trips him, causing him to spill the groceries. Maya is then kidnapped. Damon is then kidnapped. I LOVE KIDNAPPED RANGERS! Now if only they could be held in the Cave of Captivity. But alas, they are far away from Angel Grove. Kai and Kendrix are stuck fighting their Psycho counterparts, UNMORPHED, and they LOSE. And then we see Leo's arms! OMG IT'S THE BEST EPISODE EVER. Because Leo is working out and has a FLUFFY PINK TOWEL OF FLUFFY PINKNESS. It's adorable. Then he helps a Tiny Child who is crying, but isn't actually a Tiny Child. It's Psycho Red in disguise, because he totally knows Leo's weakness is Tiny Children in distress. And he totally overpowers him. Quickly. Leo is only saved because Andros shows up in his Cloak of Not-A-Good-Disguise. Leo is all hero worshiping him because OMG LEO WAS THERE THE DAY THE SPACE RANGERS SAVED THE EARTH AND I LOVE THIS WITH SO MUCH LOVE OMG. The two of them together... it's like the Angstiest Angsty Ranger Reunion. We just need Adam and it would be the Trifecta of Angst! *so many hearts in my eyes* HAPPY ALPHA IS HAPPY! He is so excited to see Andros. And Andros is all "Don't be too happy, cause your friends are fucked." and also explains the psychos as "everything you are, except the opposite." He takes Leo and Mike to see the Space morphers which have been stashed on the MegaShip this whole time. WHY ARE THEY STILL THERE? SO MANY FISH! I don't care. This is WONDERFUL. Leo blows up a wall with Andros, all morphed and happy, to stop Trakeena and save his friends. Trakeena is all "Yeah, whatever, I got this." and Andros has no clue what he's in for. Meanwhile, Alpha discovers intruders on the MegaShip stealing the Space morphers. DUH WE KNOW WHO IT IS. Way to try to be sneaky and FAIL MISERABLY show. Mike breaks the others out and they all go to fight. Damon gives them a chance to get away and they are stupid and don't take it. Because the psychos are all "There are only seven of you, pshaw" until TJ shows up with Cassie, Ashley, and Carlos and is all "TRY ELEVEN OF US!" because they are awesome. Also, Carlos cut off all his hair and it makes me sad. Everybody fights with their own colour against their own Psycho counterpart and that's probably not the best plan but whatever because GIANT EXPLOSIONS AND THEME SONGS AND AND AND. And how could I say no to TJ and Kai fighting together? And Damon and Carlos! And Cassie and Kendrix are OMGSOADORBS! They call out all the toys and totally win, as well they should when there are ELEVEN BADASS RANGERS ON MY SCREEN. Back on the MegaShip, Alpha nearly explodes from Happy. Leo asks how they knew and Carlos says Alpha put out a distress signal so they had to come. Unfortunately they can't stay long since they're needed back on Earth (and how they got there, and how they'll get back, I don't know and just don't care because this is great). Maya is going to give them the grand tour. Meanwhile, the pink psycho climbs out of the rubble and is confronted by Deviot, who is disappointed in her even though SHE IS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE WHOLE ORDEAL SHOWING SHE IS THE STRONGEST FOR REALS. The only thing wrong with this episode is Carlos' hair. It is all gone and gives me a sad. Everything else is beautiful and wonderful and totally amazing. 1.5 fish. It only had this much because, seriously, how did they get there in the first place? And also, Carlos' hair. Just... the hair!

Episode 309 - Destined For Greatness

So Mike and his beautifully floppy hair are back!

Everyone is toasting Mike (oooh, champagne, want some) and Leo tells Mike that he knew he had survived. Mike has SUCH A SAD about it and recaps the whole Magna Defender arch again, because... it isn't like we just watched it? Okay, admittedly there was like four months between episodes or something. But now EVERYONE has a sad about the Magna Defender. Mike wonders how he is going to explain where he was, and everyone laughs, except for Leo, who has a sad.

Trakeena is sulking about how she can't battle the Rangers, and how her dad never lets her do anything. But he has a new plan, that is going to involve kidnapping, so you know I am all over this.

Leo is staring at the Quasar saber and having a sad, and Kendrix drives over in the cute little car. Leo is apparently waiting for Mike, and Kendrix isn't sure why Leo has a sad, when he has his brother back. Luckily, she is smart, and figures out that he's having the sad about which one of them is destined to use the saber, since Mike DID pull it from the stone and all.

Mike is all "life is short, smell the flowers, life needs to mean something" etc, and Leo is about to tell him about all the feelings, when there's an attack. We get some unmorphed fighting, which makes me really happy, and then the other four Rangers get kidnapped and caught in some mirrors or something. Leo gets injured (but one that sadly does not result in shirtlessness) and Mike forces them to retreat. He is totally protecting his little brother. ♥

Leo yells at Mike for making them retreat, but Mike is all "don't worry, my dog tags are magic tracking devices and I put one on a stingwinger" because apparently they're made out of a special metal and are the only ones on the station. Mike and Leo track down the monsters while the Rangers' energy is being used to make finger puppets that grow. We get some more unmorphed fighting!

During the fight, the saber gets knocked out of Leo's hands, and Mike picks it up, and hands it to him. Leo tells Mike that Mike deserves it, but Mike is all "no, you are the red ranger now." They argue about destiny and who is the one that deserves the sword, and it's pretty sweet and touching, and awww, boys!

Leo uses the saber to destroy one of the skeleton things, and Mike is all "there is no other red ranger" and while I'm sure there are 17 others who would argue with that, it is a very sweet moment.

Mike and Leo continue the unmorphed fighting for a while, and then the monster yells "you don't know who you're dealing with" and Leo replies "neither do you" and then shoots fireballs at him. It is so DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY and I love it. The other Rangers are able to escape, and it looks like Kendrix and Leo are about to make out. The five Rangers morphs and Mike is all "my brother and his friends are awesome" and he keeps fighting anyway, because his floppy hair is all the protection he needs.

The Rangers summon the fish of orion, and then the monster grows. The fugly megazord is having some trouble against the monster, and it gets trapped, and suddenly the Magna Defender shows up, and presents his sword to Mike. Now Mike can be a Ranger too! (Yes, I am on team Magna Defender is a Ranger, just so you know.) He transforms and gets the dramatic flowy cape and summons Torozord and saves the day!

Everyone is like "cool" and then Damon insults his zord choice, because Damon is great. Torozord does not agree. (Damon, I'm sorry, but it looks way less ridiculous then your zord does.)

There's a meeting of the Terra Venture higher up council of something, and we find out that they have traveled 5.6 lightyears and apparently that's almost to the next galaxy or something, because they fail to understand how space works. Mike shows up and interrupts the meeting to try to explain where he was (and fails miserably) and all of the ruling council people are just "I'm sure he has an explanation" because they are NOT STUPID and understand how sixth rangers work.

Fish: 2! Good job, Lost Galaxy! Please keep up the ridiculous cheesy brothers being awesome and what... wait... what episode is next? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Episode 308- Redemption Day

So I was told I should recap this episode tonight, because it is relevant to my interests. Those being the Magna Defender being dramatic and having a dramatically swishy cape. And seeing as those are my pretty much all things holding my interest right now, yes, yes this is a good episode for me to recap.

So something BAD is going down on Scorpius' ship. They're leaking fuel and it's bad. Trakeena doesn't want to drift and freeze. She is so melodramatic. It's okay though because they know where Terra Venture is and they can totes go steal the fuel there.

Speaking of, Maya and Leo are traipsing around "the mountain dome" in the happiest little car ever (seriously, it's SMILING. I want one now.) This makes Maya think of home and be happy, and then she's suddenly vaguely telepathic again. Just in time to see Scorpius' ship approach. Leo shoves her away from the "window" just as they're attacked. They manage to outrun the fireball instead of being SUCKED INTO SPACE WHICH IS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD SOMETHING PUNCHED A BIG GIANT HOLE IN THE SHIP. Leo and Maya dash through the airlock just in time to be saved.

Scorpius is draining the power from the mountain dome. The rangers are going to stop him because they are pretty. The Magna Defender overhears and it totally going to get his revenge. So he goes to the volcano in an attempt to blow it up and he's all dramatically emotive. He doesn't care that it will take out the colony as well as Scorpius' ship. Dude has some drama issues.

Then we meet Freaky Tiki and I really... have no words for that. I think I'd rather focus on the Magna Defender being dramatic with his dramatically swishy cape and theme music. He is damaged and injured and has a sad, and then Leo fights off sting wingers to help him and nearly dies defending him. Magna Defender is sort of confused, but brings up Mike, how well he knows him, and how they met at the bottom of the crevice. After 3,000 years, Magna Defender finally had somebody to talk to! He stole Mike's spirit (huh?) and escaped (again... huh?). Basically it boils down to Mike is alive for now but he'll die unless the Magna Defender is destroyed and Leo has to do it. But he doesn't want to because somewhere down inside Magna Defender, the honourable man still exists and Leo only destroys evil, not good guys.

(And this is where I am REALLY confused. How did they switch spirits? How will destroying Dramatic MD save Mike? Won't they both die if Mike only lives in him? What about Mike's body? It's still trapped in the Crevice of Doom. This is super fishy, even for this season)

Magna Defender has honour. He remembers his Tiny Child WHO FOR SOME REASON MUST DIE ON SCREEN AGAIN. REALLY SHOW???? At least it means we get more dramatic swishy cape and Super Sad Dramatic Theme Music? But anyway, Leo won't destroy him and then they go fight the monster-I-refuse-to-talk-about.

Scorpius runs away. The volcano is about to blow. There is lots of dramatic music and fire and falling down. Leo refuses to give up. But they can't make it and force demorph and still try. So Dramatic Magna Defender MONOLOGUES AND IT IS BRILLIANT AND OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO. I love him so much I can even deal with seeing Tiny Child die AGAIN. Which is triggery, by the way, so that should tell you just how much I love this storyline that I'm willing to risk watching it.

Magna Defender sees the spirit of his Tiny Child and he convinces him to be the hero. Because to Tiny Child, his father always was and always will be the warrior hero. With pretty flowers to save his father's soul. AND OH MY HEART. So Magna Defender pulls himself together, picks up the pretty soul-saving flowers his Spirit Tiny Child dropped for him, and DRAMATICALLY STUMBLES HIS WAY TO THE TOP OF THE VOLCANO. And saves the day. Because he is the most dramatic ever and it's wonderful. Leo tries to stop him, but he puts them in a bubble and does it anyway. I LOVE THIS GUY SO FREAKING MUCH, YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA. He only makes it because Spirit Tiny Child appears and takes his hand, and together they go the rest of the way, until he goes into the volcano and stops it erupting. With his life. It is AMAZING.

Leo assures them he's not gone, that he'll live forever, and the temperature stabilizes. And out of the dust comes Mike. Stumbling dramatically. Too bad he doesn't have a cape. He does have dramatically floppy hair, though, so it's okay.

And there is a hug! Leo runs and hugs him! And they cling to each other and tell them how much they missed them and how they're never going away again and it's all super dramatic and lovely.

3.5 fish. The story was GREAT and I love the Magna Defender arc and it's all so dramatically delightful. Except that it makes no sense. But I love it anyway.

Episode 306- Orion Returns

Today on Power Rangers, things are ominous and... fishy.

We start off in the dark of night. Night? Dark? IT'S A SPACESHIP. Maya senses... something. It's convenient psychic powers again! She gets Kendrix and then they meander down to the boys room, where they sleep on delightful bunks and I adore it. Damon is grumpy because she woke him up. It's adorable. Suddenly there is a bright flash of light! Could it be the fish? Of course it is. Oh power rangers, so predictable. See? Conveniently slightly psychic, as the script calls.

EVERYBODY sees the Fish of Orion, of course, including the bad guys. Trakeena is delightfully bitchy when other people take credit for something she JUST SAID. Scorpius goes after the Fish. The Rangers go after the Fish. Is there ANYBODY not going after the Fish at this point? Frankly, this season is so full of them, these guys could probably just cast out a little net and get plenty...

The Rangers hop on the teeny little race-car spaceships that make no sense in a world with actual physics (meanwhile, Andros is somewhere yelling STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP OMG YOU GUYS! and I don't really blame him for that) and then there is fighting with sting wingers... who apparently can breathe in space. It is terribly boring and the Fish head for Terra Venture, so of course everybody else does too. Even though the Rangers JUST came from there. They could have just hung out, slept a little longer, and been fine. But whatever. I'm sure Damon will point this out later, even if it's behind the scenes.

MD enters the scene, with intense pain in his heart and a dramatically loud heartbeat. His cape swishes dramatically in the wind. He is so wonderful.

Bad guys catch the Fish in a clay jar. There are more bad guys fighting over this. Why so many bad guys, show? This gets confusing. Trakeena has the best plan. Shapeshifters ftw!

MD has a dramatic fight. It's very dramatic. He kind of fails at it, though, but at least he loses very dramatically! The Fish get away and there is more bad guy talk, where they plan to test the lights. It's not going to go well for the poor sod who believed Scorpius wants him to test the lights. These bad guys, numerous as they are, really aren't very bright. MD is terribly upset and just oozes the drama with his lack of facial expression.

The Rangers lose a fight, far less dramatically than MD does, and they force demorph. Which is fine because this allows for unmorphed fighting with sting wingers! I heartily approve. They are determined not to let the bad guy destroy all the things, though, and he's making a valiant effort to do so. Trakeena uses this time to point out to her dad that he doesn't have the Fish yet, even though he was supposed to, and manages to get a general ousted from the ship for treason. Her plan worked brilliantly. She is clearly the smartest.

Then the Rangers morph again (sad) and fight and it's terribly boring. It's supposed to be dramatic? Except Magna Defender isn't there so it can't possibly be awesomely dramatic. They're about to lose horribly when Trakeena sends her shapeshifting monster down to stop the bad guy. She starts to take the Fish back, and then MD shows up so the scene can be appropriately dramatic. Thank goodness! He manages to destroy everybody with super dramatic monologues and dramatically swishy cape. Oh MD. This show would just be too cheesy without your awesomeness.

He goes for the Fish, but Leo stops him, insisting he has too much anger in his heart. The Fish are apparently sentient and decide the Rangers are more worthy than MD, so they choose the Rangers instead, shining over them and just handing over the power. Why the Fish didn't just go "You guys totes deserve my shiny awesome powers, here, have them" from the start, I don't know. Apparently the Fish of Orion only gave the Rangers shinier plastic swords, gold arm bands, and big claws. Whatever works.

Magna Defender dramatically pouts behind a tree and then flees to go be alone with his pain. This is the only part of this episode that makes ANY sense whatsoever.

5 fish. Because... yeah. I still can't tell you what the heck this episode was about.

Episode 304- Silent Sleep

Today on Power Rangers, there are horses! And then more dramatic cape swishing. I approve!

So Maya likes to tend to the horses. I like her. I like horses. She needs help and Damon volunteers Leo, but then Leo backs out so Damon runs away too. Maya is clearly brilliant because she accuses them of being afraid and then they help. Or Leo helps. He's a "cowboy". Although I take offense to that. Not everybody who rides a horse is a cowboy. There are entire disciplines that are older than cowboys and western. Ahem.

Anyway! So Leo is Very Bad at this and falls off. Keep your heels down, son, and grip with your calves, you'll stay on. Unfortunately, in the fall, Mike's dogtags fall off and Leo has a minor heart attack. Damon would have teased him, except he's totally scared of Maya. I love that everybody is afraid of Maya. Because she is awesome.

Later that night, the Chillyfish (who looks more like a mushroom with fringe) shows up on top of a building. He puts everybody to sleep by freezing them... except the animals (but but but... science and all). And the Rangers of course. They somehow managed to stay un-frozen. There is a boring fight and the Chillyfish runs away. Not before blasting Kai, Maya, Damon, and Kendrix... who remain sort of awake but very cold. Leo does what he can with blankets and stuff, but seriously? The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened.

Except on screen all we get is frozen electronic equipment. Nothing has power, for some reason, not even the motorcycles. It makes no sense but does leave for a defenseless spaceship. Trakeena is going to take advantage of this and flirts with a baddie general so she can get off her daddy's bug ship and go after the Fish of Orion. She is clearly the best.

Back on Terra Venture, it is morning! Because somehow there is SUN on a SPACESHIP even without POWER. Did this season just forget they're on a spaceship or something? Leo finds monsters and there is a fight and then general guy sends Trakeena back to the ship. She is clearly not happy about this and he'll pay for that later. Leo does some more fighty stuff and it's super boring.

But then! Then it's sunshine and rainbows and kittnes! Because it's all dramatic, guys! Because Leo realizes somebody else is unfrozen. It's the Super Dramatic Magna Defender! He is fiddling with the Fish, with his super swishy cape, and Leo begs for his help to unfreeze the colony. Super Dramatic MD doesn't give a two shakes about the colony and they are going to fight about it, because Leo has Upstanding Moral Fiber and MD has Super Depressing Angst. Super Dramatic MD's cape is super swishy all the time for what appears to be no reason in this episode. IT IS DELIGHTFUL. Now, we just need that water fountain...

Super Dramatic MD is willing to kill Leo to keep him from getting the lights, but he accidentally shoots the Fish instead and then flies off after them in a swishy dramatic fashion, with dramatic smoke and music. Because he's Super Dramatic.

Leo, after communing with a Tiny Bunny, realizes the animals are unaffected (BUT HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO, SO WTF?) and goes to the horse paddock. He talks very calmly to the dapper bay that threw him earlier, manages to come to an understanding, and gets a bridle on him. He eve does it properly! Good job, Leo. The horse isn't too happy to have Leo on his back, but he must realize the importance of the situation because he quickly adjusts and takes Leo off to wherever he needs to go... jumping the fence in the process, and Leo has really bad jumping posture. He rides to Chillyfish and there is SWORDFIGHTING ON HORSEBACK. SWORDFIGHTING. ON HORSEBACK. BE STILL MY BEATING HEART! This is my favourite thing ever.

Then there is boring not-on-horseback fighting and I don't care so much about it, except Leo totally hurts him, but then Super Dramatic MD with his Dramatically Swishy Cape saves the day by stabbing the hell out of Chillyfish amid Dramatic Music and Smoke. Chillyfish dies and then grows and then we get the Torozord and I REFUSE TO ASK WHERE THE HECK THIS THING CAME FROM BECAUSE ALLLLLLL THE FISH. Super Dramatic Magna Defender wins and then everybody just magically wakes up, body temperatures restored to normal, with no ill effects. Oh show.

Leo confronts Super Dramatic MD. His cape is so delightfully swishy. Dramatic Capes make everything better. They have a heart-to-heart and Leo believes in him even if he doesn't believe in himself and he walks away all slow motion and dramatic and OH I LOVE THIS GUY.

4 fish. It just... yeah. Even dramatic capes and swordfighting on horseback couldn't really save this one.

Fic we want: "The best cure would be to strip everybody naked and get really close and personal under a heavy blanket. This should totally have happened." - We demand that fic, like, yesterday.