Episode 223- Passing the Torch Part 1

Now THIS would have been a great summer cliffhanger!

Divatox is dreaming. She gets a vision from her mother, head of the family, who lays on the guilt super thick and convinces Divatox to kidnap Tommy. Apparently she thinks without Tommy the team will fall apart. Frankly, I don't think any of them have been paying attention. Without Tommy, Adam will still lead and make all the decisions. Tanya will still have all the answers. Justin will still fix everything. And Kat will still be creepily maternal.

We meet Cassie, who is singing loudly on a bus. People from the back are heckling and TJ, sitting across from her, gets her attention and tells her she might want to quiet down a bit. She apologizes and explained how she wants to be a singer and sometimes gets carried away. TJ knows how that feels. So she's going to Stone Canyon to break into the music industry. TJ is going to Angel Grove to break into professional baseball. HOW CUTE ARE THEY? I LOVE THEM SO.

Meanwhile, Justin, Adam, and Tanya are camping. Tanya comments on Tommy being born late. It is awesome. Adam and Tanya set up the hammock while trusting Justin to set up the campfire. Good on them! He's 12. He's capable. No need to coddle the boy.

Tommy and Kat are driving to the campsite in Tommy's truck. Kat is amazed that Tommy was actually on time for a change. Everybody mocks him (in a 'we love you anyway' way) and I love it. They get attacked by Piranhatrons and Kat makes it pretty far away from the truck before it explodes. Tommy is closer and there is Dramatic Lunge. He hits his head on the ground, but luckily there isn't anything in there to damage (at least that hasn't already been pretty severely damaged).

Back at the campsite, Justin hears a noise and heads off in search of the source. He is confronted with a flame monster who wants to set the world on fire. This monster even manages to interrupt the morphing sequence. He kicks the key out of Justin's hand mid-morph. AWESOME! Adam and Tanya come running to Justin's cries and manage to get their keys knocked away as well.

TJ and Cassie are at the bus stop taking the 15 minute break before heading off to Angel Grove and Stone Canyon. TJ notices hte smoke and assumes there is trouble over the hill. He runs off to investigate and Cassie tries to convince the bus driver that TJ will be right back. The bus driver drives off. Cassie stays behind.

She finds TJ and they discover Kat, fighting for her life against the Piranhatrons. They immediately jump in to help. HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THEM???? Together, they manage to beat back all the Piranhatrons, but not before some weird goopy thing takes Tommy while Kat screams his name a whole lot. He ends up all tied up in a cave somewhere.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Now see, wasn't that a better cliffhanger? And we got OODLES of unmorphed fighting! I swear 80% of this episode was fighting and there was not a single morphing sequence to be had. :D

2 fish! OMG it's a low fish episode from Turbo!!!!

Episode 218 - The Millenium Message

After the last group of recaps we did where neither of us wanted to write either of them, this time we get the I argued to get two of them. Look, I have theories about the Millenium Message.

Which means that this recap will be heavy on theories, and also on spoilers for RPM, SPD, the next half of Turbo and the PRiS finale. (Yes, we know, we try not to say too much about later series, but I wanted to talk about this stuff.)

So, we start off at the Juice Bar where Tanya and Tommy are working out, and Adam comes in wearing a magician's costume complete with cape and top hat, grumbling about this week's stunt show. I approve so hard. Then suddenly there's an earthquake. This being Angel Grove, it turns out the earthquake is actually being caused by an approaching ship. The Rangers assume that it's because the ship is there to talk to them, and... this being Angel Grove, sure. But how do they know the guy just isn't lost???? Anyway, his ship explodes, and he's found by Divatox.

Turns out this guy is the Blue Senturian, some sort of Intergalactic Robot Police Officer. Divatox manages to convince him that she's Dimitria (and we know that in universe they're twins, but REALLY?) and he plays a message, showing how the United Alliance of Evil is about to conquer Earth in the year 2000 and only one force stands in their way. We don't see who it is, but TIME FOR THEORIES.

SPOILERS

1-The team of Rangers they're actually seeing is the Turbo 2 team. That's what suddenly makes the Rangers all leave once TJ and Cassie get there - and why Divatox seems to seriously want to destroy them.
2-Obviously, PRiS happened in 1998 while the Millenium Message says the future he's from has the final battle in 2000. Well, this is because when it came down to it, none of the 5 current Rangers would have been able to kill Zordon, so the battle stretched on, which is why Earth is going to be overrun. By handing over their powers, they saved the universe.
3-The Blue Senturian works for SPD.
4-The future Blue Senturian came from? Also eventually becomes RPM. I mean, that would explain why there's no other Ranger teams around - everyone was lost fighting against the United Alliance of Evil.

So, to sum up. Had the Turbo 1 team NOT handed over their powers, the events of the Turbo finale STILL would have happened, Tommy would have been unable to kill Zordon, and then the world would have basically been conquered. Of course, since the Rangers are always victorious even if it takes a while, the Turbo 2 team would have eventually persevered. But the destruction of basically the world is what makes Alphabet Soup realize that they need their own Ranger teams, and why Dr K had a piece of the venjix robot from the Machine Empire that she accidentally turned into the venjix VIRUS.

Back to the recap. Blue Senturian gets reprogrammed after showing the message, and there's a detonator in him. He goes and fights Tommy, but then runs away after the other Rangers show up. Adam knows what the Blue Senturians are because Zordon told him, but he also suggests that GEE, MAYBE HE WAS REPROGRAMMED. Not like Divatox hasn't done THAT before.

Divatox also sends down a monter, and the fight is really stupid, and Kat manages to twist her ankle again and scream for Tommy. *SIGH*

Then the Rangers reprogram the Senturian (getting a glimpse of the message in the process), but don't remove the detonator and it runs off to go try and arrest Divatox, and there's an explosion and the Rangers think that it's been destroyed. Divatox shows up to taunt them, because she's awesome like that.

Except then the Blue Senturian shows back up with a Zord and it destroys the monster, and Alpha teleports down to try and cut the wire belonging to the detonator. He cuts the wrong one. Then Justin cuts the wrong one. Then they figure out they have to cut the purple one.

Back at the Power Chamber, they can see more of the message, but the important part has been damaged in the fight. Personally, I choose to believe that Alpha or Justin just cut the wrong wire.

Fish: 5! Although it's pretty good for thinking ridiculous thoughts

Covered in: Lt. Stone gets covered in bananas during the earthquake

Episode 216 - Weight and See

TRIGGER WARNING FOR DISORDERED EATING

You guys, this is like the most frustrating run of episodes ever. Two rage inducing ones in a row. And this one, frankly, is seriously triggering and also not the episode you want to be watching right after eating probably too much pizza.

Last time we had an episode about food, it was about how if you eat junk food you are a bad person. This time we get Kat's brief brush with anorexia. And frankly, it does some things really well and some things REALLY BADLY.

So, Kat is auditioning for a ballet. Hey, continuity! I am impressed. They're doing The Nutcracker (I guess because they thought it was the only ballet that kids would know?) and Kat desperately wants to be Clara. Random bitchy girl makes some sarcastic comments to Kat about how Kat is a little too big for the part, and she should be in better shape. Random bitchy girl expects to get the part, but instead Kat impressed the director with her fresh take on the role and is cast as Clara. Random bitchy girl continues to bring up Kat's weight.

At the beach, Adam and Justin are planting tide markers. Adam gets distracted by a hot girl in a yellow bikini. (This is the part where I started all capsing at queenriley about how he's dating Tanya and he's being... well, a teenage boy.) Justin gets distracted by a younger girl in a bathing suit. Hey, if we're doing the "it isn't how you look on the outside" episode, could we get an objectification is bad moral? No? Also, Adam is totally grossed out by the fact that Justin is noticing girls.

Then they get attacked by Piranhatrons and we get an unmorphed fight. Yay! (Adam, your HAIR.)

Back at the Youth Center, Kat has apparently decided she isn't going to eat until after the show. We don't know how long it is until they perform the ballet. Tanya and Tommy try to encourage her to eat but she refuses and leaves. Tommy and Tanya follow her and Tommy actually pays for something. The world is ending.

Apparently Divatox's big plan is that she's going to turn Angel Grove into Atlantis. It's a shame Billy isn't there, because otherwise I would totally make a joke about my ridiculous DC comics crossover OTP of Billy/Garth (which BFF harmonyangel and I once mentioned to comics artist Steve Lieber. Look, Heroescon last year was awesome.)

So. Kat runs into the monster which makes her lighter? I feel that the show is not understanding how anorexia works. I guess they were trying to go for the she's getting so thin she's floating away idea? (And like, she skipped one meal.) But it would have made more sense if they'd made her think she weighed more than she did.

The Rangers all go to the Power Chamber (Kat is still floating) and everyone goes to fight the monster except for Kat. (The monster is like, a weird looking version of the Count) Everyone but Justin is made to feel like they weigh a ton, and Justin gets to float. Dimitria gives Kat some inspirational phrases that she pretends are questions, and Kat realizes that it's really about how she is on the inside, not on the outside, and she's miraculously broken free of the floating spell and I...

Look. I have friends and family who have struggled with eating disorders. Neither of us really wanted to be the one to recap this episode, but all I'm going to say is that this cannot be fixed by a simple inspirational speech. It just doesn't work like that. I'd like to applaud the show for *trying* but...

Anyway, let us instead talk about the AWESOME part. Kat beats up the monster by herself and it is amazing.

Then the monster grows and hits the Zord with a duck. (Well, a duck shaped blast, but I like the idea of the Zord being hit by a duck better.) Then the Rangers blow it up.

Sometime later, Kat is performing the ballet. She is awesome. Random bitchy girl is a rat. I'd have thought she'd have gotten Sugar Plum Fairy or something.

Fish: FIVE. ALSO, RAGE INDUCING.

Episode 209 - Shadow Rangers

This episode started off SO WELL. And then it turned into... well, Turbo. *sob*

So, Justin is helping Tommy work on his car. Justin's shoelace gets caught on the gas peddle. The car's engine blows. Tommy still insists that this isn't Justin's fault. EXCEPT IT TOTALLY IS. Oh, and we find out that someone has been stealing stuff from the garage, so Justin builds a homing beacon that he'll put on something in the hope that it's stolen and will lead them to the thief.

Divatox has a new monster, the Chromite. Chromite appears to be marrying Elgar. Congratulations, may you two live happily ever after SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY. Divatox is going to send the Chromite down to leave a detonator in the construction site.

Adam and Tanya are off on a date walking together (after engaging in some practice to better get their Zords together) when Kat joins them. They promptly get attacked by the Chromite, who steals their morphing energy and creates shadow versions of them! We're actually really excited, because HEY, EVIL RANGERS. It's a thing that we like! The unmorphed fight against themselves is seriously great! Adam gets beaten up a lot! *approves so hard* Of course, then they get captured and thrown in a cave.

Then Justin and Tommy get attacked. Tommy has seen this before, and tries to stop Justin from morphing, but that doesn't work, and Justin gets his power stolen and he's kidnapped. There is a nice fight where fake!Kat and Adam beat up Tommy. I approve.

Now that he's all alone, Tommy goes back to the Power Chamber to get Dimitria's help. Unfortunately, since she's from the planet Inquirus, she can only inquire about things, so she answers all questions in the form of a question. At least she'd be good on jeopardy. BUT SERIOUSLY, she is so annoying. If they wanted to frame it instead as a "you are adults now and need to learn to figure things out yourself" I might not be as annoyed. But really, part of the reason they've always had a mentor/support staff is so that they don't need to do everything themselves, because sometimes they have to be out there fighting while someone else DOES THE IMPORTANT RESEARCH. Instead, Tommy is left to be the science guy (and this is where I start laughing hysterically and wondering if this is what leads to him faking his doctorate) and he discovers that the shadow rangers are made out of light, so if he just makes it dark, everything will be okay.

He fights the shadows and even though it's daylight out he manages to destroy them all. I call bullshit.

Justin has activated the homing beacon, so Tommy goes and rescues everyone else. Then they morph and fight the chromite and summon zords, and wow, this episode sucks.

Turns out that monkey!Bulk and Skull are the thieves. They're now living in the youth center, which is under new management. Ernie's foreign service unit has recalled him (he's going to build a bridge in the amazon or something) and now Lt. Stone is running things. (And hey, isn't anyone WORRIED about Bulk and Skull being missing? WORST FRIENDS EVER.)

So in the last few episodes, we've lost Billy, Jason, Rocky, Zordon, Alpha, human!Bulk and Skull, and Ernie. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO US, SHOW?

Fish: 5. EVERYTHING IS BAD AND WRONG.

Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie Part 1

Oh god this movie, guys. THIS MOVIE, GUYS. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN ALL THE LAND.

So we start off with a really bad scrolling text Star Wars ripoff. Only this movie is the tiniest fraction of coolness that Star Wars is. And I'm even talking Episode 1 here, people, that's how much I hate this movie.

Lerigot is a wizard. He's actually the mutated child of an Ewok and a Monchichi. He is being chased by weird fish robot looking things. He manages to get himself to Earth, where he is stranded somewhere in Stereotype Land Africa. I keep hoping he'll run into Aisha. That would totally make this movie worthwhile. Alas, he meets a family of chimpanzee instead.

In Angel Grove, Rocky is trying Very Hard in a boxing ring while doing martial arts. He fails at fighting Tommy. He fails at fighting Adam. He fails at kicking a gloved fist, falls out of the ring, and messes up his back. THIS IS NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. And that's not just my love for Rocky talking, that's "this actually cannot happen" talking.

Meanwhile, Kat and Tanya are on a bus full of children from the local orphanage. They are singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. NOBODY wants to sing that on a bus. No wonder Justin looks all sad and mopey. I'd be sad too if I were trapped on a bus full of people singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Justin sees Rocky being hauled away in an ambulance. Justin now REALLY has a sad.

Then we meet Divatox. She is strong and powerful and awesome. Except I'd respect her a lot more if she wore more clothing. I mean, why does an amazing woman need to wear what amounts to underwear and a bit of string... while attempting to attract a man/monster/lava thing? Really? *sigh* I do not like any of her henchmen. This... is not going to be the best season ever.

Justin goes to visit Rocky in the hospital. He is flat in bed with a neck brace on and an IV. He is clearly high on morphine. He doesn't notice Justin and the rangers come in right behind him, so Justin hides under the bed. Instead of asking how Rocky is doing or trying to make him feel better, they have a conversation about Justin. Because they are BAD FRIENDS. Zordon contacts them and they teleport away. Justin witnesses it all.

Kat and Tommy are sent to Africa to find Lerigot using a Star Trek The Original Series tricorder (Billy totally created Starfleet). Why, I have no idea. Wouldn't Tanya be the better choice, since on Planet Angel Grove, Africa is a small continent where everybody knows everybody else and there is only one small grouping of animals, mainly lions, which is where Aisha is? WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN AISHA. Kat gets hurt, of course, after spending lots of time screaming for Tommy and flailing in the water... she was the Olympic diver, y'know, not Tommy! Oh show. Anyway, they get Lerigot and get him back to the Power Chamber. Moving on.

Somehow Bulk and Skull are back on the Police Force. No talk of France or leaving their fake!Daddy or anything. They managed to get captured by Divatox and her crew, but not before accidentally covering Lt. Stone in mustard. Their minds have been wiped. Bulk now thinks he's German and Skull thinks he's Spanish. It's... odd. Jason and Kim are scuba diving near Divatox's ship and they get captured too. We like to believe Kim went to comfort Jason after his power loss. Divatox uses Lerigot's wife, whom she has kidnapped, to send him a message. She shows Zordon that she has Lerigot's wife and child, plus Kim and Jason. Lerigot prepares to give himself up.

Zordon shows them the new Turbo Zords and gives them Turbo powers. Adam gets a minivan. I love minivans, and I'm not being sarcastic. I really actually love minivans. *is weird* So anyway, we get no mention of why the Zeo powers cannot be used. No mention of what happened to the Zeo powers. It's as if they just... disappeared. Adam asks about Rocky's Zord and is told it'll just stay there for awhile. They take off for a lost pirate ship. Once they get there, the blue Turbo Zord shows up. Out steps the new blue ranger, who is presented as THE NEW BLUE RANGER, and not the Temporary Replacement Blue Ranger. It's Justin. IT'S JUSTIN YOU GUYS. Tanya makes the exact face I made the first few times I watched this. It is the BEST FACE EVER. She is clearly confused and horrified at this new turn of events. WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? I BLAME THE IMMENSE AMOUNT OF MORPHINE ROCKY WAS CLEARLY ON.

They see the pirate ship off in the distance. They manage to get to the pirate ship with their zords. They manage to get ON the pirate ship where Justin finds a box of treasure. They use their Turbo morphers to make the ship set sail. Meanwhile, Divatox has found them and launches living torpedoes at their ship. GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE.

To be continued in Part 2...

5 fish. Oh god, why isn't it over yet???? I hate this movie. I HATE THIS MOVIE.

Episode 195- Where in the World is Zeo Ranger 5

Today on Power Rangers... Tommy is Super Awesome and Everything to Everyone. Sprocket is whiny and has jealousy issues with Gasket. Rito and Goldar are put in charge of fixing the RV (and we all know how that will turn out). And Bulk and Skull win back Detective Stone's trust in guarding his expensive machines thanks to Gasket.

We start off with a very long Tommy-is-awesome montage. Because clearly this show has not had enough of them up to this point. He's on a wave runner in the lake and Kat is really nervous for some reason. Jason and Emily admire Tommy. Jason is very pretty and hot damn does he have some nice arms. Jason, be on my screen more often, please.

Bulk and Skull are put in charge of Detective Stone's wave runner. This is also not going to end well (and doesn't, because Gasket turns it into the monster of the week). Luckily it is restored in better working order, so Bulk and Skull finally gain Detective Stone's trust. FINALLY.

Mid-ride, and just at the end of the Tommy-is-awesome montage, Tommy is kidnapped! I missed that tag. This happens to him rather a lot. Kat and Jason run off to a random wave runner and go searching the lake. Tommy is nowhere to be found and in a shout out to the name of this episode, they wonder where in the world he's gone. Kat uses her brain and contacts Zordon immediately. Clearly she is the smarts of this episode. Unfortunately, Billy is on Triforia being an Intergalactic Spy, so he's not going to be able to help. Alpha discovers Tommy has been teleported off planet, however the fish are blocking his signal. With a barcode scanner with flashy lights detection device, they can find the remnants of the signal and trace it back.

So, as TSB put it, "The fish are blocking everything, but maybe you can find the right fish in the lake." This... makes a weird sort of sense for Power Rangers...

Anyway, Jason and Kat get attacked by cogs while searching for this signal. They do not call the other rangers. Adam and Tanya must be busy doing... each other. Rocky is probably busy wondering why Jason is hanging out with Kat instead of studying anatomy with him. Poor Rocky gets left out of everything now. So the cogs break the scanner and then Kat screams for Tommy Jason. Tommy Jason rushes to her side, a cog sticks his tongue out at them, and then they vanish. Kat and Jason are left wondering what's going on.

Gasket sends down a monster, whom Sprocket is sure is not powerful enough to beat the rangers (but Gasket doesn't believe him, because what does Sprocket know... he's just an inexperienced kid... I have sibling issues as well). The monster knocks people unconscious by spraying them with a water hose. ALL the rangers go after him this time and he likes to taunt them, apparently. He calls Jason a second rate substitute for a leader. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA NO. Jason did it first and Jason did it BETTER. Sprocket is subtlely cheering the rangers on. I love that about him.

Apparently the monster proves too tough because he sprays them, they get disoriented, and then the rangers pull a Sir Robin and bravely run away. Alpha gives them some weed medication in an oxygen mask and Rocky totally hits that up. Then they all go back to fight some more.

This monster has a boomerang. Which he threatens to use a lot, but then charges at the rangers instead of, y'know, THROWING IT. Gasket makes him grow and Tanya is all "We need Tommy!" But no! Alpha, in a rare burst of continuity, remembers the remote for the white falcon zord, and says there is one of the zeo zords as well and they can use that. Tanya should have been upset by this, seeing as they could have used it when she was called away from rescuing her parents, but whatever. Anyway, as expected, the rangers win. Sprocket pulls an "I told you so" to his big brother. *pats Sprocket*

Back at the lake, Kat and Jason are trying to see if there are still fish. And there ARE! Are we at all surprised? OF COURSE NOT. They take the data back to Alpha who uses it to track down Tommy. Except he's getting "unusually high brainwaves" from Tommy. This would be because normally he doesn't get ANY brainwaves from Tommy. :P

We end this episode with a gratuitous shot of Tommy, morphed (why... he was kidnapped off his wave runner in a bathing suit and life jacket), a device on his head, his legs spread wide, and in clearly what is a lot of pain. I'm sure there is bad and wrong fic about this somewhere (no, I don't want to read it).

This episode had far too little Rocky-and-Jason on the same screen, and no Billy. This makes me sad.

3 fish. They were all in that barcode scanner device.

Episode 186- Do I Know You?

In this episode of Power Rangers, Rocky is still sure Billy is the Gold Ranger. Skull is still clearly a Time Lord. There is LOTS of screaming for Tommy. The fish is strong with this one!

The side plot... the detectives need a client. Any client. A woman comes in looking for her missing dog (more on that in a bit). She wants to hire them to find her dog. Skull consoles her by immediately thrusting a teapot in front of her and offering her a nice cuppa. HE IS SO A TIME LORD. Just sayin'. In the end they don't find the dog, but the woman hires them to do odd jobs around her house. So they call Rito and Goldar out of the closet (heee, only part of this bit I actually liked) and have them do it all. I hate slave!Rito and Goldar. *sigh*

So. The ranger plot. Tommy and Adam are mountain biking through Angel Grove. Adam is ready to stop. Tommy wants 10 more miles. Meanwhile, the woman is walking her little froofy dog. The Gold Ranger in his pyramid comes down to Earth, knocking Tommy and Adam off their bikes and sending the dog running. Adam screams for Tommy *headdesk* and they can clearly see the pyramid until he engages his cloaking device.

That's it! The Gold Ranger is either Romulan, Klingon, or a sneaky Ferengi thief follower of the Rules of Acquisition!

Anyway, everybody ends up looking for the pyramid, Mondo included. The rangers even have charts to figure out who the Gold Ranger is. They could just try calling up OTHER ranger teams and asking them, like, oh, I dunno... Aquitar? But no, that would be logical and provide continuity for this show, and we know Power Rangers can have NONE of that. So they just kind of blindly stumble around trying to find the Gold Ranger.

Except there just happens to be a bounty hunter looking for the Gold Ranger, too. The rangers end up in a fight with cogs and Kat screams for Tommy this time. Twice in one episode? Really show? *facepalm* Trey goes to help them out but refuses to reveal his identity. Apparently if he does so he loses his powers? I... don't get it. I told you the fish is strong with this one!

So the bounty hunter makes a deal with Mondo and then attacks Trey and hurts him, but the rangers blow him up with their Zeo Canon. They teleport Trey to the Power Chamber where he calls Zordon and Alpha by name and then vanishes. Mondo makes the bounty hunter grow, the rangers call their zords, and it's a boring fight that they eventually win. As if we didn't know that would happen.

The rangers go back to the Power Chamber, only to find Trey (well, they don't know he's Trey yet) gone. Billy comes walking in and they're all "Uh huh, and where were you Mr. I'd-tell-you-if-I-was-a-ranger, hrmmmmmm?" Billy doesn't really answer them yet again and Zordon mentions the Gold Ranger knew his name and Alpha's as well. They're all amazed and Zordon says the only way he could know is if they already knew him.

Uh... really? Aren't you really old, Zordon, and kind of, y'know, SUPER FAMOUS THROUGHOUT THE GALAXY? And isn't it pretty well known you have a little robot buddy in the robot model Alpha? Or does that not matter because clearly they're setting us up for the BIGGEST LETDOWN OF THE SHOW?

4.5 fish. This episode made no sense whatsoever.

Episode 178 - It Came From Angel Grove

This is probably in my top 5 favorite episodes of Power Rangers. There are not enough words to describe how much I love it. Why? Because a) it's hilarious and b) it's a pretty detailed look into Adam's subconscious. In other words, it's pretty much written for me.

Spoilers - the whole thing is a dream. I'm getting that out of the way now, so I can talk about what it says about Adam's psyche. Because clearly, that is why I love this episode. Also, there will probably be ALL THE CAPS. (You think I'm bad now, just wait until we get to Always a Chance.)

So. Let us begin.

It was a dark and stormy night. Adam and Tanya were having a "study session" after hours at the school. For some reason, the school is open and they haven't been kicked out yet. I have no idea why. Tanya is ready to give up, but Adam says he wants to stay at the school and study some more. Really, Adam? Cram sessions are not good for you. Go home with Tanya and get some rest!

Bulk and Skull are supposedly on night patrol of the school, and we're briefly wondering if they even go to school any longer. We're guessing no, and they graduated. They offer to escort Tanya home because of the storm, but she sees right through them and instead offers to walk them home, while Adam stays at school without letting his parents know what's going on.

A few hours later, he needs a break and turns on the tv, where what looks like an amazing bad movie is playing - The Bride of Hackensack. It apparently features a witch, a vampire and a werewolf teaming up to stop a mad doctor and his evil bride, and I would watch the hell out of this movie. He falls asleep while watching the movie, only to wake up when a black cat jumps on him. Awww, kitty!

He follows the cat and immediately runs into Rita and Zedd. They inform him that while he was asleep, Mondo and Machina have conquered the Earth and captured all the other Rangers. This sucks for them, because they can't win, and they don't think that's fair. Oh, and all of his friends have been transformed, and his zeonizers and communicators are missing. DUN DUN DUN.

I love that Adam's worst nightmare is that he wasn't there to help save the world. Oh, Adam, you have so much angst, and I love you so much for it.

Anyway, if he goes to find some powerful wizard and gives him the cape of a vampire, a catseye, the hair of a werewolf and the wrapping of a mummy, he can convince the wizard to fix things. It's like the plot of Into the Woods, but BETTER.

As the scene changes Adam finds himself in the juicebar, but all the color has vanished, leading to the best line. "Who turned off the color?" Oh, Adam, you are my favorite forever. He immediately recognizes Tommy, who offers him a drink (served by Ernie). Adam turns it down, and ahahah TOMMY IS A VAMPIRE. HE WANTS TO DRINK FROM ADAM.

Um. Here's the thing. Vampires are a metaphor for sex. SO YEAH. ADAM/TOMMY FOREVER, YOU GUYS.

... alternately, Adam thinks that Tommy sucks. Take your pick.

Mondo shows up and sends down some cogs, and we get one of the few unmorphed fight scenes of the season. Oh, Adam. You are so awesome. He easily beats the cogs, and then tries to steal Tomacula's (no, seriously) cape. Tomacula lunges after him, but suddenly a rope appears, and Rocky's voice calls down "make haste, lad!"

Um. Rocky should talk like that all the time. And I would like to thank whoever filmed the gratuitous ass shots as Adam climbed up the rope. A++++ good job.

So Rocky is in a suit and is really hot and calls Adam "old chap." He's apparently Lord Henry of Henry Hall, and I want this to exist as a bad romance novel so badly.

They get chased by wolves, but Rocky is obviously a werewolf. There is shirt ripping, but not nearly enough of it. Fail, show!

Werewolves are also a metaphor for sex. And masculinity. And passion. And wolves mate for life.

Yeah. *has a ship*

Rocky!Wolf runs off, and Adam grabs some of his hair (and I'm not even going to comment on that, okay? I'm being good) and then Lt. Stone shows up with the worst accent I've ever heard claiming to be the Burgermeister, which allows Adam to figure out that he's in the movie. The Burgermeister tells him there's a professor who might be able to help him, so Adam goes off in search of Billy.

Except it isn't Billy. It's Skull. Because deep down Adam totally knows that Skull is smart. This is more proof that Skull should totally have been the mentor in DT. Professor Skull is about to cast a magic spell, but the mummy of Prince Bulkenhotep awakens.

This is so freaking amazing I can't even comment.

Anyway, the mummy gets unwrapped, and Adam steals a piece of the wrapping, and Professor Skull and the Mummy are clearly going to be together forever, and I am dying forever.

The next room contains the mad scientist, who is Billy. Or rather, William Von Hackensack. Who has created his bride - Tanya.

This actually really works for me. In a really creepy way. Tanya replaced Billy so in some weird way could be a creation. Look, apparently this makes sense in my head, and Adam's, and the writers.

Of course, the part that really works for me is when Billy asks Adam if he likes Tanya. GEE, I WONDER WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO SIGNIFY.

*has another ship*

Adam follows the cat out and the cat transforms into, well, Kat. The witch.

Possibly Adam has some unresolved issues about the whole park cat thing. He takes her catseye necklace, and ends up in the Wizard's Chamber, and the episode turns into a giant Wizard of Oz parody, and it is everything I love. Oh, and all the Rangers are encased in the tubes where the Mighty Morphin suits usually are. AMAZING.

So, Zordonicus, the great and powerful, lets Adam know that there's more to the test, and he has to choose one of his friends to fight a monster, since I guess we have to use some sentai footage.

In the stupidest line of the episode, Adam actually asks "What would Tommy do?" I guess so he could figure out what not to do? But instead, this counts as him choosing Tommy.

At least he didn't choose something that could never ever possibly destroy us.

Long boring fight featuring Tommy follows, and wow, am I glad this episode exists, because otherwise we would have had another one that just featured Tommy. So Tommy wins, but it turns out that Zordonicus was actually Mondo, and Adam's REAL nightmare is that he accidentally did something wrong and helped bring about the end of the world.

Oh, ADAM. SO MANY HUGS. SO MANY.

Tanya wakes him up, and it turns out that he was there all night. I guess his parents really don't care where he is at night, which I'm sure that Rocky and Tanya appreciate.

The movie is still on, and Adam has the and you were there moment, and the other Rangers are all excited for the movie and suggest they watch it at Tanya's later. (Except um, isn't she living with Kat?)

Adam says no, he's had enough of horror movies, and then the cat shows up, since it's apparently been living in school for weeks.

How Adam does on the test, we will never know.

Fish: 1. It was all just a dream, the fish do not count.

Fic we want: ROMANCE NOVEL.

BEST EPISODE EVER.

Episode 171 - There's No Business Like Snow Business - Part 2

Previously, on As The Rangers Turn, Kimberly has left Tommy in a letter, possibly for another woman. Adam, Rocky and Tanya are off negotiating their own relationship drama, while Billy and Kat attempt to be the Worst Friends Ever and the people of Angel Grove are falling in love with Cyclons. Confused? You won't be after this episode of Power Rangers Zeo!

So, Professional Snowboard Who Is Really Bad At It is dangling precariously off the cliff. Tommy, Kat and Billy all stand around wondering what they should do, while the answer is obviously have Kat morph and grab her, since Heather didn't see Kat. While they stand around doing nothing, the other three Rangers call and are all "Hey, everyone is falling in love with toasters and blenders, get back here already" but they can't leave Heather, so Adam, Rocky and Tanya go fight on their own. A bunch of other people show up on the mountain top, even though this is supposed to be the hardest course, and they just give Tommy their jackets, so that he can then dangle precariously off the edge of the mountain so that Heather can grab hold. Why he just doesn't add his scarf or that thing on his head to the chain of jackets, I don't know. But they manage to bring Heather up safely, and then Tommy and Kat claim they have to go be somewhere, and they just teleport off.

WORST EXCUSES EVER. They are on top of a mountain, where are they supposed to be???

Anyway, the Rangers summon the defender wheel, and then they summon the Zords and they destroy Robo Cupid. So instead, Mondo decides he will unleash the power of Global Warming, by which we mean he's going to make Angel Grove really hot.

This episode is really boring, I almost want there to be more Tommy angsting over Kim.

Instead, Billy and Kat decide to be the Wost Friends Ever and start trying to set Tommy up with Heather, even though he is clearly not ready. (He just got dumped yesterday) and also, rebound relationships where one person is just trying to use the other to get over someone is REALLY SHITTY.

Back in Angel Grove, Adam and Rocky spar, and it is really pretty. *shallow* Why do we not see them spar more often? Then everyone complains that it's really hot, and yet Adam is wearing a sweatshirt. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Anyway, Billy and Kat claim they have stuff to do and Tommy goes off with Heather. She takes him to a very picturesque part of the mountain, and they talk, and then Heather is all "So hey, your friends told me about Kimberly. Want to make out now?" Tommy, to his credit, is clearly not having it.

Also, we're assuming that the Billy and Kat constantly going off together is where that particular ship came from? We don't really get it.

So, Zordon calls and insists the Rangers come back to the Power Chamber immediately, because... we don't know? So Billy and Kat interrupt Heather and Tommy (who are about to go see a snowboarding movie, because heaven forbid Heather have any interests outside of snowboarding or Tommy) with a "Hey, we've got to go do an activity. Ready?" So Tommy stands Heather up, and she sulks. The end.

This episode was so boring. SO BORING.

Fish: 4. It would probably be 5, except Tommy's angst was actually pretty realistic, so we'll knock off a fish.

Episode 136 - A Different Shade of Pink Part 3

Before the recap, a little bit of housekeeping. We are hopefully going to settle into a Wednesday/Saturday schedule for the recaps. However! I will be going to Morphicon in 2 weeks, and the weekend after that is Dragon*Con, so... who knows when we're going to update? It should be interesting, anyway.

If you're at Morphicon, you should come find me and say hi!

Anyway. Previously, on Power Rangers - Amy Jo Johnson uses these last few episodes to audition for ER, and Rita wants to send Ninjor as a message in a bottle.

The episode opens with the Rangers angsting about the choice they've been given - they can hand over Kat or Ninjor will be drowned. Zordon says that this is the toughest choice they've ever faced. Really? What about the time they had to choose between their power coins or the teens at the world peace conference? Or their coins or their parents? Basically, they have been in this situation before.

Up on the moon, Zedd and Rita are bickering. The honeymoon is over. Awww. And on Earth, Kat is showing how she is ridiculously insightful, as we get another long explanation of her backstory. It's really touching, and Kat clearly knows what is best for Kim as she gets her to admit to being scared. Then she runs off to go offer to sacrifice herself to save Ninjor, and Queenriley and I both start shipping Rocky/Kat at the same time.

In the park, the Rangers bring Kat to trade for Ninjor. However, they have Kat protected in a force field, and Rita cheated anyway - no Ninjor in the jar. There's a nice fight scene, until one of the Tengas breaks the force field projected, and Kat gets kidnapped. And she screams for Tommy. :( :( :( Billy is blaming himself for Kat being captured. Awww.

Up on the moon, Zedd and Rita decide that they're going to throw Kat in the jar with Ninjor and wash them both out in the Sea of Sorrows, except they can't do anything until the tide comes in. So Kat is locked up in a cell, where she tries to steal the keys from Squatt and Baboo. She almost succeeds, but the guard changes. She massages Rito (making an amazing face in the process) until he falls asleep, and she escapes. She grabs the pink power coin (in a glowing pink box) which alerts Alpha that the coin is in the hands of good again. Kat taunts Rita for a bit, until she's teleported out by Billy's amazing insta-tech. Kim is very glad to have her coin back.

At Angel Grove community pool, a stunt person who is supposed to be Kat does an awesome dive, showing Kim that conquering your fears is possible. Kim decides to participate in the competition, and does an awesome job. Also, Aisha clings to Rocky. This important for everyone. Kim's routine is pretty great, and she gets a high schore. At the youth center, Ernie throws her a party, and the coach offers her a spot at his gym in Florida so he can train her properly for the Pan Globals.

This is not an offer you turn down.

At the Command Center, Kim tells the other Rangers she isn't going to accept because she has her responsibilities as a Ranger, and they all encourage her to go. Zordon even tells her that when she comes back she will be a greater Ranger than before. WHEN SHE COMES BACK. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Even Tommy encourages her, and some of my objections to the ship fade away, because he's being ridiculously sweet.

Kim was clearly hoping that the Rangers would tell her to go, because she had made arrangements for Kat to take over if they'd convinced her to go. The power is transferred to Kat, and really, there needs to be so much more Kim/Kat fic in the world. Make it happen!

Also, Adam wonders if Kat is really free of the spell, and then there is epic sadface on my part. Adam! Not cool! Especially when TOMMY is on the team. JUST SAYING.

Fish: 1.5. Only because we aren't sure why Rita just didn't grab Kat in her sleep.

Fic we want: KAT/KIM. And Kat/Rocky!

Episode 130- Changing of the Zords Part 1

Sorry it's been so long, guys. Vacations, illness, and family got in the way. But we are back! And we're back with... new zords? Already? Um... well... okay then! Let's spend the whole opening admiring the awesome PRETTY of the cast, shall we? Because that's pretty much what we do at the beginning of every episode.

So this episode starts with Kat, Kim, and Aisha in the Youth Center. Kat comments on their remarkable skill at shopping and we wonder if the mall in Angel Grove has any merchandise left. Kat heads home and gets all mooney over Tommy on the way. She's jealous (under a spell) and wants Kim out of the way so she can have Tommy for herself (did I mention under a spell?). I hate these infidelity subplots (but at least she's under a spell?)

Later, Kim invites Kat to the lake to hang out. Kat doesn't want to go, but then Tommy asks if she's going and suddenly she wants to. Kim is a bit suspicious (understandably so) but they head out anyway. Kat says she'll meet them there.

Finster, meanwhile, has found himself some old forgotten Zords. Or more to the point, he has found where he can find some zords. So he takes Squatt and Baboo and they go in search through dense jungle, making some awesomely hilarious quips on the way, until they sit down to rest and stumble upon the zords.

At the lake, Bulk and Skull have been put in charge of keeping the area clean and safe. Skull sees some kids who appear to be drowning and they rush to the rescue, shedding clothes as they run. I LOVE this sequence. The music, the running, the slow mo, the rush to rescue poor children in desperate need of help. Of course, then I want to smack the little shits for laughing at Bulk and Skull when they jump into the lake because the kids were faking it the whole time. Where are there parents? They ought to be punished for that.

Rita stops Kat in the park. She asks Kat to steal a power coin for her, which Kat gladly agrees to. At the lake, Rita sends down some Tenga warriors to create a diversion. Frankly, the diversion wasn't really necessary. The power coins were all in the bags which were all left carelessly lying about on a table for anybody to pillage. But the Tengas are there and they're wreaking havoc and Kat manages to steal Kim's coin. She also steals a picture of Kim and Tommy.

Kim, in fighting the Tengas, suddenly feels very weak. Her vision goes all blurry. She screams for Tommy (sigh) and he races to protect her by... putting his arm across her chest? Really? I can see the merit in doing so to prevent an airbag from exploding in her face, but I'm not quite sure how that will save her from the Tengas. Anyway, the Tengas run away since Kat has the coin, and the rangers go to morph. Kim can't find her coin and only NOW do they feel the need to contact Zordon. Who, of course, has no idea what's going on.

Zordon explains that Ninjor, when recharging the power coins, tied it into their life forces, so with Kim's coin gone, she's growing weaker and weaker. If they don't get it back, it could kill her. But that happens later, and I spend most of the episode wondering why in the world she's having all these side effects when that never happened in any of the multiple other episodes they lost their coins.

Goldar goes down to Earth and Tommy vows to fight him alone. Kat is told to steal the falcon zord and she's all too happy to comply. She's a very effective evil, I must say, far more so than any of the other rangers when put under an evil spell. She manages to zap Tommy and take the falcon zord (which then looks like an owl, but ends up being a real falcon on Zedd's arm? Okay...). Ninjor, in trying to help, gets trounced by Goldar and then captured. This is pretty bleak and Tommy is sure it's the end. He is upset that Zedd has beaten the power rangers, but really... uh... Zedd hasn't. Not yet. There are still FIVE OTHER RANGERS. FIVE. The Power Rangers is not a solo Tommy-only show here. Even if he wishes it were.

Anyway, Zordon then explains Kim could die as she faints because she's so weak and this would be a totally awesome ending!

Except it's not over yet. Instead we get Kat in a tree (and I really want to call a handsome fireman to come get her out of the tree, and then we want a follow up with Kat on a hot tin roof). She rips the picture of Kim and Tommy in half, throwing away the Kim part and proclaiming that Tommy will be hers. I hate infidelity subplots. *sigh*

2 fish. It wasn't that fishy, it was just bad in general.

Episode 124- Stop the Hate Master Part 1

Oh god it's another rapping monster. *headdesk*

So at the start of the episode, Kim and Aisha are pushing through a crowd of girls to see a list of new members for the Angel Grove Girls Club. It's basically a sorority... for high school. Kim made the list, but Aisha did not. They apparently didn't want her. Kim tries to comfort her, telling her she'll figure out what's going on, but Aisha says it's okay, it's not a big deal, and walks off all sad. Poor Aisha!

Kim pulls Veronica, leader of the club, aside and asks why Aisha didn't make the cut. It takes some prompting for Veronica to even remember who Aisha is, and then she says Aisha was lacking the "proper qualifications". Which basically means Aisha isn't rich enough.

In the Youth Center, Aisha is working out on some weight training equipment. Kim tries to talk to her some more, and then demands she scoot over so they can share the narrow bench and talk out their problems. Kim swears she'll talk to Veronica again and really figure out what's going on, and get Aisha in the club if she can. She kisses her on the cheek and skips away and I flail from the absolute ADORABLENESS of the two of them together.

So somebody has been graffiting the Youth Center and the Ranger boys are outside cleaning it off. Bulk is hiding in the shadows trying to discover the culprit, but he has no luck, so he tries to contact Skull on their headsets. Ernie thanks the Rangers for their help. Meanwhile, inside, the first meeting of the sorority Snobby McSnobersons Club comes to a close. Kim once again asks Veronica exactly why Aisha didn't make it. Veronica flat out tells her Aisha's parents don't make enough money. Kim questions why she was let in when her family is in the same economic bracket, but apparently her mother came from money and was involved, so Kim gets an automatic "in". What a disgusting club. Kim refuses to be a part of something so vile and quits. Because she's awesome.

But the whole time they were stepping on poor Skull. He was hiding under the table to listen to conversations, pulled out the most awesome shoe phone when he couldn't get ahold of Bulk, and then ended up getting each and every one of his fingers stomped on by the girls. Poor Skull! Alas, neither he nor Bulk have anything of importance to report.

Aisha is still kind of bummed, but not because she's in the club, just because it hurts to be rejected. She feels a little better when Kim tells her she quit, though. She can't stay long, however, because her Grandma of Sheer Awesomeness is in town.

Meanwhile, Rita and Zedd decide this Snobby McSnobersons Club has the right idea. They love the hate and ask Finster to make a monster. So Finster takes all the hate from all the monsters he ever made, and combines it all to make one nasty Hate Master monster. Who makes me feel plenty of hate every time he opens his mouth. Because he raps. Horribly.

So Kim finds the boys and tells them about what happened with Aisha. Adam agrees that it's a nasty club, but he understands why Aisha is upset, because "no one likes to feel rejected". We feel you, Adam. We really really do.

They are walking through... the park I guess? It looks more like a deserted dirt road. But anyway, they get attacked by Tengas and Squatt follows them around with a little vacuum doing... something? The Tengas grab Kim and she immediately screams for Tommy while we imprint out foreheads with our keyboards. He rescues her, of course, and the Tengas quickly fly away. The Hate Master shows up and raps horribly while Squatt hands him all the Hate Dust he collected. That's right. Hate Dust. Apparently the rangers shed hate dust when they fight. It... I don't even have words for how little sense that actually makes.

So the Hate Master puts them under a spell and they all suddenly hate each other! Oh noes! Billy questions why he's hanging out with people of sub-par intellect. Kim wonders why she's hanging out with a nerd. Tommy is just generally grumpy. Rocky and Adam have an homoerotic face off over... absolutely nothing at all, but I swear, they were seriously about to kiss there.

At Aisha's house, we meet her Grandma of Sheer Awesomeness. She knows immediately something is up with Aisha and gets her talking with what is essentially a snap of her fingers. Because she's just THAT awesome. She reassures Aisha, makes her feel better, and then gives her a necklace that has been in the family for generations.

Zordon FINALLY notices something is amiss when Alpha detects an unusually large amount of hate in Angel Grove. It's like he has his own Care-o-Meter! Anyway, the Rangers are being overcome with Hate Particles (really show? I mean... really?), and they decide to contact Aisha as she's the only one unaffected thus far. She tells her Grandma of Sheer Awesomeness that the beeping of her communicator is an alarm to remind her of a meeting she has. Best excuse EVER used on this show, seriously. She talks to Zordon and decides she is going to talk the others out of the Hate Master's spell.

And she DOES! She goes to them in the park, tells them they are under a spell, and just like that the spell wears off and they're all fine. Well okay then, show.

Y'know, this whole episode is eerily similar to the entire first Care Bears Movie, right down to a monster wanting to spread hate throughout the city, only the monster in the Care Bears movie was an awesomely evil book and not an aggravating rapping monster.

Anyway, they go to fight the Hate Master, which has grown, and end up all under it's spell again. They give up mid-fight and make snarky comments, including Billy's "I'm outta here" (link opens best in IE) which he says repeatedly and yet.. never actually leaves. So they all teleport to the Command Center, where they all throw down their communicators and tell Zordon they're done with his old, wrinkly self, by YELLING at him. It's AWESOME.

Aisha doesn't know what to do, but she's determined to stop it. Zordon is going to scan her to figure out why she's not affected by the Hate Master's spell.

To be continued!

Fish: 4

Billy speak: "Why am I hanging out with the intellectually challenged?" Oh evil, hate-filled Billy. You're so damn sexy.

Fic we want: a crossover where THE CAREBEARS SHOW UP TO FIND OUT WHY THE RANGERS HAVE STOPPED CARING because it would be OMGSOAWESOME! No, seriously, I can see it all in my head now! It should exist!

And also, we want hate!sex while under the monster's spell fic. Because it would also be awesome.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie- Part 2

Previously on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie- Adam is a frog! That's... really probably the most important bit.

So now in Angel Grove Ivan Ooze is controlling the parents. He's making them dig up his ectomorphicons while he lazes about. In a very creepy and slightly terrifying scene, he makes one parent do a series of dances. The dancing in and of itself isn't scary, but the implications, that he can make them do literally ANYTHING, absolutely terrify me to my core.

Anyway, the dancing is interrupted by the return of the Snot!Tengus. They claim to have destroyed the Power Rangers, but Ooze sees right through them and the eventually confess to a horrible monster driving them away with noisy sticks. Ooze works out that it's Dulcea and he's sure this will ruin his plan, so he better hurry and get those ectomorphicons out of the ground. He blows up the Snot!Tengus in frustration.

Back on Phaedos, the rangers have waited for sunrise and are now ready to set out in search of the Great Power. They walk a lot and look very very pretty with their floppy hair.

Back in Angel Grove again, Fred has managed to sneak down into the pit. Nobody has seen him or seems to notice him, and he investigates what's going on. Sadly, nobody will respond to him because they are all zombiefied by the ooze. We're left wondering why Fred is the ONLY person trying to figure out what's going on. Seriously? Are there no childless adults in Angel Grove? Where the heck is everybody else???

On Phaedos, the rangers have stumbled upon a dinosaur graveyard, which is very symbolic what with giving up their dinosaur powers and moving on to other powers. Adam welcomes them to Jurassic Park and I squeel in delight (one of my top ten favourite movies EVER). Or, rather, they stumble upon what is supposed to be a dinosaur graveyard but these skeletons look nothing like any dinosaurs I know. The skeletons wake up and begin attacking. The main attacker is what might have been a Centrosaurus, Styracosaurus, or possibly a Monoclonius, only it has sharp teeth instead of the flat rows of an herbivore (which all actual ceratopsidae dinosaurs were). So... either the set designers really fail at biology or the dinosaurs of Phaedos were all carnivores. Anyway, it attacks the rangers. First Rocky goes after it to defend Aisha, but he gets knocked aside. Then it chases Kimberly into a ribcage and Tommy has to jump on it's back to get it away (while she screams her head off for Tommy, despite being so awesome in the first half of the movie). Biology fail abounds as Tommy wins by pulling out a single bone in the neck which causes the head to fall off and the entire rest of the skeleton to collapse. Billy makes a bad joke about biology finally paying off. Oh Billy, didn't you know? Biology pays off every single day of your life!

Back on Earth, Ivan is packing up all his mass produced snot, I mean ooze, to be shipped out for... we don't know what. His ectomorphicons are unearthed, he's pumping snot ooze through them to bring them to life, and he's basically done with the parents of Angel Grove. So he sends them away. To leap to their dooms. Which they start chanting in the best line of the movie.

Phaedos has a conveniently cut out path through the jungle for the rangers to follow to get to the Temple where they'll find the Great Power. Instead of some big huge quest or some awesome proving themselves worthy, they only have to fight four golems. You'd think there would be some kind of "facing worst fears" or something, but no. It's an easy fight, overall, and there are some great lines. Billy uses his brain, though he states the obvious a lot. Adam and Rocky fight in sync and do a great job defending each other as well as the other rangers. Tommy stands around primping or fixing his hair or something until Kim needs him and then suddenly he's in the action. He does make an awesome comment that has us both rolling and thinking Tommy really shouldn't be commenting on the mental aptitude of the golems. There is, however, massive physics fail.

They beat the golems, of course, in what is probably the easiest NEW power acquisition of the entire series. They get their powers, new zords, and go on about their merry way while Dulcea watches in owl form. Good job, Rangers.

Fred has found all the kids of Angel Grove partying and he manages to convince them something isn't right, despite their initial apathy to the whole missing-parents thing. Really kids? Obnoxious little brats, you all are. They decide they need to go stop the parents, thanks to Fred, and hopefully save the day.

Ivan is destroying the city with his ectomorphicons. The reporter is wondering where the rangers are as people run screaming and the mayor evacuates the city. The rangers then show up all morphed and ready to fight. They call on their zords and epic battles ensue, destroying an office building yet not denting the pavement even a little. Ooze proclaims his losing inconceivable and I think he's awesome, except he's no Vizzini! Frustrated, goos his way into one of the ectomorphicons and begins to fight the rangers himself. Tommy has to delay forming the Megazord to go bridge a gap in the monorail track so Fred and all the other kids can go save their parents from leaping to their DOOM.

While the rangers fight, the kids eventually reach their parents who are very slowly making their way to the edge of the pit where they dug up the ectomorphicons. Took them long enough to walk there, right? Anyway, Fred gets the kids to try to hold back their parents while he wrangles Bulk and Skull into helping him operate a lift that shoots water. He begins to spray down the parents hoping to stop them.

The rangers, meanwhile, have taken the fight with Ooze to outer space in the hopes of getting him in the path of the plot point comet mentioned at the beginning of the movie. They fly past the Rita and Zedd snowglobe and it prompts Rita and Zedd to cheer them on in beating Ivan Ooze. Aw, show! I love that bit. The rangers and Ivan struggle in a tight embrace, upon which Ivan asks if they've hugged their zords today, and then Aisha uses the Big Red Emergency Only button. To knee Ivan in the crotch? How in the world does that work? Or make any sense? I... don't get it. But it makes him let go of the MegaZord and he flies straight into the comet while the rangers fly back to Earth. Lamest ending to a villain ever. Ivan was way too cool to go out like that!

In Angel Grove the parents come out of their zombiefied stupor and begin hugging each other and the kids. Fred's dad finds him and pulls him from the heavy machinery in a heartwarming hug. Awwww. Bulk would also like a hug from Skull, but Skull only offers him a handshake. Poor Bulk, denied affection yet again.

The Rangers make haste to the Command Center where they fear it's too late to save Zordon. Tommy remembers that Dulcea said with the power, anything is possible, so they all circle Zordon and hold their hands up. Their power restores both the Command Center and Zordon's time warp tube, which saves Zordon's life. Or something. I... don't really know how it worked. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Not and smile and try to get past the sap.

Angel Grove has exhausted it's massive fireworks budget in a celebration of the rangers saving them yet again. Bulk and Skull are telling a large crowd of people how they saved the day, while Fred approaches our heroic teens and modestly accepts congratulations on helping out to save the day. Billy says he hears that Fred is in line to be a ranger himself one day, and Fred determines that he wants to be the Gold Ranger. We approve of this since, in our headcannon, Fred grows up to date Justin.

Credits start to roll but we get a mid-credit clip of Goldar sitting on Zedd's throne and proclaiming himself King Goldar. Until Rita and Zedd walk back in. Hehehehehe. And... more credits.

The end! I love this movie.

No full list this time, since it's the movie and all, but we HAVE to rate it on our scale of fish! This movie, much as I love it, gets 2 fish. It wasn't too bad and most discrepancies can be explained away since this IS an alternate universe.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - The Movie - Part 1

I... don't think there are enough words to express how much I love this movie. I saw it in theatres. Twice. And I clearly remember forcing my parents to tape the Access Hollywood segment about the movie. (At least I think that was what it was? Whichever one of those shows covered it.) I owned this movie on VHS. It fills me with glee. So, yeah. (I later would use my little brother as an excuse to see Turbo in theatres, but we are not discussing that yet.)

ANYWAY, I have been looking forward to recapping this movie pretty much since we started the blog. And here we are.

The movie opens with some scrolling exposition text. While it is sadly not the most awesome text of exposition ever, it is still pretty cool! Dulcea narrates some basic history about how Zordon is in a time warp and he recruits teenagers to fight monsters.

CUT TO - a plane. Apparently the teens are all going sky diving for some unknown reason. To be fair, I think the whole scene is awesome. I have no idea when learned to sky dive, or who thought it would be a good idea to have Bulk and Skull go with them, and why there isn't an instructor.

Bulk and Skull prepare to jump when Kim points out that they don't have their parachutes on. *bangs head on wall* So, yeah. While they start preparing, it's time for the Ranger teens to jump. For some reason, Tommy is sky surfing. Because he's special. IDEK. This is the most completely gratuitous scene ever, but I so do not care. They do skydiving acrobatics! Honestly, I just love them. So, they all hit the target (although Adam and Rocky almost miss, which makes me sad) and we find out that the reason they're all sky diving is to try and raise money to save the observatory. The plot point comet will be passing over in 2 days.

The inappropriate young friend of the movie, Fred Kelman, makes fun of his dad for missing the target, and has a giant crush on Tommy. It's totally adorable, and I ship future!Fred/future!Justin. I want someone to write fic where they talk about their crush on Tommy from when they were 12 and how that helped them realize that they liked boys. Seriously, someone should get on this.

Also, they say that the Angel Grove team was 6 for 6, except... Bulk and Skull are on the team as well! So... yeah. Way to forget about them. (Aisha suggests that they landed on the roof trying to get to Ernie's dessert. We are... not pleased.)

Because it's me, I need to comment on the clothing. Like, seriously, I know that they all need to be color coded, but was it really necessary to put Tommy in all white? That might be the stupidest thing ever. He looks ridiculous. (I appreciate Kimberly's fanservice outfit.) And we'll be saying this a lot when we get to Zeo, but the costumer needs to cut it out with the sweatshirts. Who wears sweatshirts with shorts, anyway? I mean, besides college boys. So really, I think Aisha's outfit is ridiculous. But everyone has really nice arms, so there is that!

After sky diving, we guess that the Rangers decided it was time for a different activity, so they go roller blading to get lunch. At least they aren't chasing after a stroller this time. As they do complicated flips on rollerblades by a construction site, Bulk and Skull finally land. They have... amazing hats. And they try to get out of trouble for landing in the construction zone by claiming to be inspecting it. (Asking about proper foot protection. Oh, boys.) Luckily, they are saved, because the construction guys have uncovered a sewer cover! Which nobody has noticed before! And even though they live in Angel Grove, instead of calling the monster squad or something, they just decide to open it themselves. From an underground chamber, a giant purple Easter egg comes out. The foreman touches it (because that's totally a great idea) and he ends up being shocked by it.

Since we are in an alternate reality, Zordon is actually paying attention, and he summons the Rangers. It's still really light out, which will be relevant in a second. The new Command Center is pretty shiny, I've got to admit. We get some backstory on Ivan Ooze.

Back in Angel Grove, it's dark out. There's some warning tape up around the giant egg, and two security guards watching the egg. It's nice to know that Angel Grove has some sort of police force. However, this won't matter, because Rita and Zedd are showing up! Zedd is... a lot more menacing in this movie. His voice is different, and the brain pulsates, and it's really freaky. Goldar's face is different, and Squatt & Babboo have been replaced by a stupid pig. Zedd uses his staff to open up the egg, and Rita dips her finger in, yelling about how Zedd spent 2,000 years looking for a tub of snot. Then the giant egg filled with purple snot morphs into Ivan. (For the record, we both ship Rita/Ivan like crazy. Ivan is so awesome.) The important question is, what part of Ivan was Rita touching?

The villains have a conversation, and Zedd asks Ivan to destroy Zordon, which he agrees to do. Rita and Zedd leave, and Ooze starts to sniff the air. Apparently he can smell teenagers coming. And it's the Rangers, not some group of kids out at night.

So, even though they're teleporting in to investigate, the Rangers aren't morphed. They get caught by a security guard, and Kimberly asks if he's seen a Morphological being anywhere. Secret identities! You are... so very bad at them. Of course, the security guard is secretly a shape shifting Ivan anyway so their identities are mostly safe. Ivan creates his team of ooze monsters, and it's time for an unmorphed fight scene!

It's a pretty epic fight scene. Adam kicks a can and slams a door into a monster, Aisha flips two of them at a time, Kimberly does a lot of back flips, but these guys are too strong for them. The Rangers are all backed into a corner, and they decide it's time to morph.

Okay, let me get this out of the way. The movie costumes are stupid looking. The end.

By the time they've finished morphing, flipping, and posing, all the monsters have disappeared. They head into a building to go look for them, and we cut to the Command Center, where Zordon has discovered that Ooze is trying to enter the Command Center. Alpha says not to worry, because nobody can enter without a Power Coin, except for the times where someone has. Ooze soaks his way through the door.

He immediately starts in on Zordon, yelling about how uncomfortable it is to be locked up in an egg. Zordon might not know anything about being locked in an egg, but he's been stuck in a time warp for even longer! But Ooze will have none of it, and instead he starts ranting about the thing he has missed - the Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition!! The Brady Bunch Reunion! Then he totally destroys the Command Center. Ivan is totally more awesome and more effective than Rita and Zedd.

Back at the construction site, the Rangers go looking for the monsters. Aisha apparently has a really weak flashlight in her helmet, which does... nothing. Rocky also apparently has a scanner in his helmet, which... points out that there are monsters right in front of them. Cue fight scene!

It's a pretty cool fight. Adam and Rocky team up and rescue each other, there are some silly one liners, Kimberly gets a thunder whip, and for some reason Billy gets a Stega Stinger. Billy is the TRICERATOPS Ranger, not the STEGOSAURUS. (The Stegosaurus Ranger is totally everyone's OC from when they were 10, right? Or was that just me?) Adam.... doesn't get anything. Totally not fair. Tommy totally thinks he's Liu Kang. Just as they finish squashing all the ooze creatures, their powers fail.

Somehow they make it back to the Command Center and force the doors open. I know this is an AU, but I don't understand how Zordon's warp tube being destroyed leads to him dying, but whatever. If this was our universe, they would have just lost contact with him, but I guess this isn't our universe, so it instead causes Zordon to start dying. Or something. While the Rangers all make sad faces, Alpha tells them there's a way to still save Zordon, which they instantly agree to do. They have to go to the distant planet of Phaedos and seek the Great Power there. Even with Ivan on the loose, the Rangers go. Because they love Zordon a lot. ♥

On the moon, Rita is being a crazy stalker, and knows the Rangers are going after the Great Power. She starts yelling at Ivan, who flings purple ooze over her mouth. He then decides that he should be the leader, and traps Rita and Zedd in a snow globe. (I want that snow globe.) He creates some Tengu, and sends them to Phaedos to stop the Rangers from getting to the Great Power. He also plans to recruit the parents of Angel Grove to do something. Why the parents... I have no idea. I guess there are no childless adults in Angel Grove.

We are 33 minutes in, and the plot has just started. Wow.

Phaedos is really pretty. I wonder what part of Australia they were filming in? It vaguely reminds me of the opening beach scene from Grease. However, there's a skeleton on the beach, and it freaks them out. And then the Tengu show up. It's been almost 10 minutes since we've had a fight scene! I love the Tengu, and this is a pretty awesome fight. Kimberly does get captured, but at least she doesn't scream for Tommy. Yet. But the Rangers are getting their asses kicked, again.

Dulcea shows up to rescue them! Leaping off a cliff, she strips off her cloak and stands there in her fan service green bikini, and does some stick twirling. The sticks make a whistling noise, which bothers all of the Tengu, and they fly off. Dulcea then starts beating on Tommy when he tries to explain that they're going after the Great Power. Aisha is smarter than he is, and she invokes Zordon's name in an attempt to negotiate, and Dulcea changes her tune instantly, deciding to help them. She leads them to the ruins of the Ninjetti temple, and I desperately want fic about how the Ninjetti temple ended up in ruins. The only one I've found is Holding True (which is awesome). My point is, there should be more.

Back on Earth, Ivan dresses up as a creepy looking wizard, and passes out jars of purple ooze to children. The ooze will somehow brainwash the parents. Look, the plan makes no sense at all. But Fred takes a jar of the ooze, and brings it home. His father drives in (and the street is empty) and opens the jar. The second he touches the ooze, he is brainwashed. He goes outside not even 15 seconds later, and the street is filled with parents. How did all of the adults get brainwashed at the same time? how come nobody noticed? Why are the citizens of Angel Grove so filled with fail?

On Phaedos, Dulcea begins the ceremony, and in a burst of sparkles, the Rangers transform into their ninjetti outfits. Aisha is the bear, fierce and unstoppable. (This is totally true, Aisha is such a Mama Bear. Rocky is the ape, powerful and smart. (Take that, people who say Rocky isn't that smart! Although I'm surprised the smart thing didn't go to Billy.) Billy is instead the wolf, cunning and swift. Kimberly is the crane, and she only gets one trait. She's agile. Okay then!

BUT ADAM. Oh, Adam. He looks so disappointed. Because he is a FROG. And I love him and seriously, it is my favorite part of the movie. I'm so glad the director let JYB adlib that, because it is without a doubt the most memorable line of the movie. Anyway, Dulcea kisses Adam, and tells him he's a handsome prince, and then the universe wrote a million Adam/Dulcea fics. Which I don't actually ship, but I understand where it's coming from! Oh, ADAM. Anyway, basically that is my favorite scene from the movie, and the first PR icon I ever had. *points*

Oh, right. Tommy is the Falcon, the winged lord of the skies. Whatever that means. Dulcea tells them she isn't going with them, and then she turns herself into an owl. It's time.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Episode 112- Blue Ranger Gone Bad

This episode is fishy and weird and really poorly written and just all around bad but I DON'T CARE! I love it so very very much. It's horrible, yet it's one of my favourites. And did you know it will be airing on Nick? When all the other 700 episodes air? Because Haim Saban bought back Power Rangers? Because it totally will be. And I'll love it on network tv again. :D

So we start out with the rangers in art class, all except Rocky and Aisha whom we are assuming are sequestered somewhere else making out. Art class is being taught by somebody who is not Principal Caplan OR Ms. Applebee! Angel Grove High must have had room in the budget to hire a third teacher. Billy has made a hologram, though we're not sure how that's art. Tommy has made what looks like the sawed off head of a mannequin. Another girl in the class has made a statue of Billy. She watches him the entire class. She flirts badly with him. She makes googly eyes and giggles a lot. She molds him out of clay. She's... creepy, which is about the nicest thing I can say about Violet.

Anywho, Kim talks Billy into asking her out on a date, in what we can only assume is her desire to bond with somebody over creepy significant others, and they all head off to the Juice Bar. They are attacked along the way by AWESOME POSING PUTTIES! Seriously, the putties don't get more awesome than this. *will miss the Z putties* In the fight, everybody is very very pretty (though I don't think so with Tommy, but TSB does, so he gets included here too). Goldar uses tentacle-like vines to ensnare Billy and teleport him to the Alternate Dimension Room of Fog Machines, where Goldar is disappointed Billy is not Jason, but figures he'll have to do. They have stolen Violet's statue and made and Evil!Billy out of it. Billy pulls the first male 'scream for Tommy' and I'm saddened momentarily. Evil!Billy glares at Good!Billy and is very hot, which cheers me right back up again. Good!Billy refuses to believe his friends won't notice that he's suddenly turned evil and is very hot while being deliberately obtuse. Oh Billy, honey, you have bad friends. They don't notice spells, you can bet they won't notice an evil clone.

Evil!Billy is very attractive while being sent to the park to rejoin his friends. He's bad at pretending to be Good!Billy, but he's still awesome. He's also apparently smarter than Good!Billy because he refuses to ask Violet out on a date, right to the point of ignoring her when she's talking to him at the Juice Bar. He lifts weights a lot and refuses to study math, but does manage to use the hottest Billy!speak to talk the others out of their communicators and then steals their morphers. He's also very pretty while being evil.

Tommy somehow was the smart one here and kept his communicator, sneaking away to contact Zordon about the "upgrades" Billy will be doing. They decide something isn't right and check into Billy.

The gang get attacked by West Side Story putties and I squee with delight! Zordon has managed to teleport Good!Billy to the park and he's now face to face with Evil!Billy. The others, having discovered their morphers were taken, are now trying to both get them back AND figure out which Billy is their Billy. It's made even harder when Billy morphs and... Evil!Billy morphs with him? What? That... makes no sense. But I don't care because Two Billys! Kim uses her brain and asks about the hologram. Only Good!Billy knows what it is, and they morph and quickly do away with Evil!Billy. We know there is some fic where they rescue the wrong Billy, but we feel there should be MORE. Or at least linked to older fic. Ahem.

Anyway, Zedd and Rita fight over Zedd's staff (gigglesnort) and then make a monster out of Tommy's "art" project. The rangers call zords, they form the megazord, they fight for a minute, Tommy has dialogue, and then they pull out the thundersabre and the fight is over.

Back in art class, Billy apologizes to Violet, who says "It's okay! I'm sure there was a good reason." instead of "You really hurt my feelings, but thanks for apologizing." which would have been far more healthy. Anyway. He asks her out to the movies and she nearly falls over from the excitement.

The art teacher asks them to show their projects. Kim has made a painting of her friends. It's kind of cute. Bulk and Skull (who has drool-worthy arms and he should really show them off more often) have gotten Violet to do their project for them and she's turned Billy into the Gold Ranger. Foreshadowing maybe? ;) Billy is a little creeped out by this, rightly so, but not enough to cancel the date he's already uncomfortable about.

List time!
2.5 fish. I love it too much to give it more.

Billy speak- Evil!Billy speak today "By redefining the geographical servofrequency range, we'll have less high end interference."

Fic we want: Today, we give YOU fic! Today is the most AWESOME DAY EVER OMG HAPPY DAY and both and I have posted fic request posts. Head on over and ask for anything you'd like!

Episode 34 - The Green Candle - Part 1

I am back from Dragon*con! I'm sorry for missing Saturday's recap, but I was busy having a fabulous time at the con. I went to a lot of panels including one where I talked about writing power rangers porn, and I did some shopping including buying two seasons of Power Rangers and basically I had a wonderful time. But now I am home, and mostly recovered, and it is time for a recap!

I've got to say, watching Power Rangers on the tv is so much better than watching it on youtube. Anyway, we open with Tommy and Zack sparring. Tommy is wearing the universe's most ridiculous shirt, although it is way better than some of his other outfits, and Zack has on those purple pants again. For some reason, Zack is encouraging Tommy to ask out Kimberly. Doesn't he know what will happen to her personality? And also, wait, they seriously aren't dating yet? Huh. (Also, the board that Tommy breaks during this conversation was clearly already broken.)

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita has a new plan to defeat the Power Rangers. Or at least get rid of Tommy. Apparently she has a candle made out of magic wax that will make him join her forever! She pulls out a tiny version of her wand and places it over a map of something that is definitely not California (seriously, Angel Grove is its own country) and tells it to locate Tommy.

While Rita is discussing her plans, Tommy is failing at sparring. Zack's cunning plan was to distract Tommy with thoughts of Kimberly! Tommy tells Zack that if it is so easy to ask someone out, why doesn't he try. Zack tries to impress Angela, and gets shot down, and I laugh a lot. Not that I'd be able to resist Zack. Oh, Zack, you can dance for me any time.

Bulk and Skull make fun of Tommy and Zack, reciting bad poetry about how no girl would ever go out with them. Then there is supposed wackiness that involves Bulk and Skull falling over and Zack and Tommy laugh at them, but seriously, why is it not season 2 yet so we can get some character development for those two?

Kimberly and Tommy are walking through the park. Tommy has changed shirts, but now the green of the shirt clashes with the green of his pants, so I'm not sure this is an improvement. Kim has a leotard on under her dress. (Look, there were some awesome cosplayers at the con, I am in a pay attention to the clothing type of place.) Tommy has just started to ask Kim a question, after a really awkward "Can I ask you a question?" "You can ask me anything, we're friends, right?" type conversation, when putties show up. Yay for cockblocking putties! As long as the one being cockblocked is Tommy, anyway.

There is a seriously awesome unmorphed fight scene, except somehow Kim's morpher gets dropped. Goldar shows up and takes Tommy to the dark dimension, and seriously, Kimberly is right there and has been separated from her morpher, and they just leave her? I know Rita is obsessed with Tommy, but I thought the point was to try and get rid of all the Rangers eventually. Evil is seriously dumb.

So Tommy is trapped in the Dark Dimension, with Kimberly still in the park screaming for Tommy, and Rita has apparently had Finster create a monster called Cyclops. I am really sad that it isn't Scott Summers. (You have no idea how badly I want the Power Rangers to fight the X-Men. I totally wrote a ridiculous AU fanfic where Billy and Kimberly turned out to be mutants when I was 11. It was awesome.) Instead the monster is a shape shifter with one eye. Not nearly as cool or as hardcore as Scott Summers.

After Tommy has been kidnapped, Zordon apparently managed to pay attention and the original five Rangers are in the Command Center, trying to locate the Dark Dimension. Seriously, didn't they manage to locate it during the Green With Evil Saga? Serious Zordon Fail.

Anyway, as they try to come up with a plan, the Dragon Zord starts attacking Angel Grove. Of course, since we were just told that Rita had a shape shifting monster 30 seconds ago, it is clearly not the Dragon Zord. Plus, Zordon says that it doesn't appear to be the Zord.

Tommy and Goldar are fighting, and there isn't nearly as much inappropriate Goldar/Tommy subtext as there is Goldar/Jason. Goldar has to go leave for some reason, so he uses the worst special effects ever to bind Tommy's hands, and Tommy just stands there, because apparently if your hands are in shackles you can't move at all or try to blow out the damn candle or whatever. (They keep stressing that when the candle burns down Tommy will work for Rita. Now, if they mean that the candle has to go out, that is one thing. But why not just blow out the damn candle so it doesn't burn down? Or else be more clear. Seriously, episode.) Tommy is seriously useless.

The other Rangers summon the Zords in the longest sequence ever, and my roommate walks into the room and says "Look! It's Voltron!" and then I miss most of the fight scene to try and explain the difference.

Goldar comes back and Tommy manages to steal his sword and teleport back to the park. Seriously? How does he know how to use that magic? I don't even know what is with that. Tommy tries to call his zord, but apparently his powers are weakening already or something. They don't quite defeat the Cyclops, because it will totally be back next episode. Whatever.

At the Command Center, Alpha is scanning Tommy, because apparently you can be damaged crossing dimensions. Did they scan Jason when he came back from the Dark Dimension? I'm pretty sure they did not. Jason remembers Rita's Dark Dimension as being a bad place, and I cannot stop giggling. There's a bullshit explanation for how the candle works, but basically Tommy touched the wax or something while he worked for Rita and that is how they are going to make him evil again. Everyone is very sad, and they're going to have to get the candle back.

To be continued, but not until tomorrow.


Fish: 3.5. It isn't quite as out there, but the logic about how the candle works, and leaving Kim behind like that is pretty bad.

Billy speak: "He's scanning Tommy for internal damage due to crossing dimensions."

Nobody gets covered in food, but Bulk nearly chokes on his own jacket. I don't even know.