Episode 362 - As Time Runs Out

Hey! I made my minimum word count for nano already today! I am rewarding myself with recaps. So let's do this.

So the Queen is annoyed with her son for failing, and decides that Vypra and Loki should be in charge. It's not like they haven't failed a bunch too. Of course, Olympius has overheard this.

He decides to try and then talk to Vypra and Loki and call for a truce. Because they need to work together or something. Of course, its a trap and he seals them underground, because seriously, who would actually trust him. Morons. These villains aren't very smart. Cue theme song.

Olympius tells the Queen that the Rangers destroyed them, and she tells him to revenge them, because nobody destroys demons and gets away with it. I so don't care about these villains.

Some demon finds... something? I don't care what. But the Rangers go to investigate a disturbance in that area. Chad finds something, and its a hand buried in the ground. Because Kelsey is ridiculous, she tries to touch it. Carter warns her it could be a trap, and hey, some vines have wrapped around all their wrists. In an hour apparently the vines will open and will spray poisonous spores all over Mariner Bay. That's a better plan than exploding feathers, probably.

Vypra and Loki manage to free themselves. The two of them swear revenge on him, and walk off while debating all sorts of plans to get even.

Back at the base, Ms. Fairweather tries to destroy the flowers by shooting lasers at it, but with no luck. Kelsey suggests isolating them, but apparently the spores are too small and can't be contained. However, a lab on the east side has a poison that might destroy it. However, right when they're about to destroy it, the monster shatters the poisons. (And they didn't bring backups why? Idiots)

Carter then is all "Hey, what about solar zord?" So they get into the zord, and send themselves to outer space Well, they're willing to die to protect the planet. I'll give them credit. AND THEN THEY OPEN THE SHUTTLE DOOR AND SUCK OUT THE POLLEN BUT ARE SOMEHOW NOT DEAD.

Um. Um. Um. WHAT NO.

Space doesn't work like that. SPACE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

Kelsey nearly gets sucked out but they manage to hold her and I'm just in an incoherent rage of space doesn't work like that and seriously they are idiots. The doors close before Kelsey gets sucked out and everyone is fine, and then the monster tries to destroy the city himself. I'm still stuck on the science fail.

Anyway, then the rangers morph and we get a fight scene, but I'm busy screaming about all the fish and finding it hard to care. Carter does give a very nice red rangers are determined speech, though. So they blow up the monster and then it grows, so they call the toys. Then they blow it up.

Vypra and Loki are exploring some old ruins, and they find a tomb. Apparently there's someone in the tomb that could help them. And then we see that RYAN is spying on them. RYAN. HI RYAN. Be pretty and take off your shirt, will you?

Loki and Vypra go down into the tomb. Vypra reads the ridiculous inscription, they throw a rope into the tomb, and Diabolico climbs out of the tomb. They plan to destroy Olympius and reclaim the star power.

Ryan has really nice arms. I've missed him. That is the most important part of this episode, clearly.

Fish: FIVE. SPACE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT

Episode 345 - Cyborg Rangers

Welcome back, dear readers! We've had a (mostly) refreshing break and are excited to get back to regular recapping!

We start right off with an attack. Usually that doesn't bode well for an episode, but considering this deals with Cyborgs (I'm going off the title here), I'm going to remain hopeful.

So the rangers fight the most adorable little bad guys ever (TINY WINGS OMG I LOVE THESE GUYS) and a big spikey monster thing. It's like a hedgehog on crack. The Rangers lie defeated, injured and in pain, when suddenly a NEW set of Rangers walks up and starts fighting. Their suits are a little different and there are pneumatic noises on the soundtrack every time they move.

The human rangers walk up to their colour counterparts and try to introduce themselves, but get ignored. A snivly little mostly bald man steps out of a car and says his rangers are cyborg rangers. He's snooty and I don't like him. Especially since he's WRONG. These are not cyborgs. Cyborgs contain both biological and artificial parts, usually robotic but sometimes not. These beings are NOT biological at all. They are strictly mechanical/robotic. Therefore they are ROBOT Rangers, not cyborg Rangers.

Captain Awesome Mitchell is wondering who made them when General McKnight says he commissioned them as a secret to replace the "kids". The "kids" don't take too kindly to that idea and I can't really blame them. They are asked to hand over their morphers and Chad initially resists, because he is awesome, but he relents his silent protest. General McWrong is very sure of himself.

At the Bad Guy ship, the bad guys can't quiet the sad little alien baby who needs his mother. I still kind of like this kid.

Ms. Fairweather is impressed with the cyborgs ROBOTS, but she is certain they will fail because they lack Heart. Somewhere, Ma-Ti is pumping his fists in triumph.

And she's right, of course. They take on their next fight and initially do well, but we all know how this will turn out.

I'm not entirely sure why snivly guy needs to stand so close to the fight. Surely if he has the technology to build such impressive robots, they would have the technology to use long range networking or radio control. They really should have had a gamer work on this script...

The robots go up in an epic explosion and Chad, Carter, and Dana want to go help. Because that's what heroes DO! Joel (I hate him) says they shouldn't go because it isn't their job anymore. I want to smack him. Meanwhile, the robot rangers get up and turn on their snivly creator. Even the self destruct button won't work. They are intent on destruction. Luckily the rangers didn't listen to Joel because they show up just in time to save snivly doctor guy. And Captain Awesome Mitchell shows up to throw them their morphers.

The robots assure them resistance is futile but they refuse to listen and kick ass. Meanwhile, the bad guys do nothing to attack the city or the rangers in their distracted state, proving they are the worst at being bad guys. No, they wait until all the robot rangers have been defeated and THEN they go attack the rangers. Who win because they have the most toys. (and okay, I do sort of love that the red zord attaches itself by grabbing hold and just kind of sitting on top, almost like he's pulling on a pair of trousers)

Back at the base, General McWrong apologizes for underestimating them and their HEART. He says Captain Mitchell made five wise choices (daawwwww)

2.5 fish. Aside from the constant calling them cyborgs when they CLEARLY ARE NOT, this wasn't too bad.

Episode 339 - Operation Lightspeed

Yay new season! I think I've seen one or two episodes of this season? I don't remember anything about it though, so maybe I didn't. I might just have absorbed it via osmosis. So I'm going into this knowing NOTHING. I can tell you this. I may not exactly like the theme song, but I dig the opening because it shows everybody being a badass OUTSIDE of being rangers. So we start off a brand new season in the desert. There are a bunch of stereotypes walking along with a camel. They find some ruins. These ruins do some Suspicious Ancient Magic-y Things. This bothers me and is not a good way to start out a brand new season. Our Walking Stereotypes end up in some tomb where they are raiding it for treasure. They open a chest and it starts shaking. One of them wants to run in terror. The other convinces them to stay and take what they can. The chest emits a blue light that knocks them out, then spirits fly around and basically kill them. Somehow the flying spirits make it from Stereotypical Middle Eastern Desert to Generic American Oceanside City. In what appears to be a secret military organization, a young woman reports that "they have escaped" and suddenly Guy In Charge, Captain Mitchell, decides to "bring them in". He is apparently her father. We meet Joel first. He is left-handed! Yay lefties! He is apparently a cowboy stunt pilot. Secret Military Men in Black bring him in. Then we meet a rock climber, who I am informed is called Kelsey. She is wearing bright yellow pants. Gee, I wonder what colour she'll be. She is pretty badass. Men in Black are waiting for her at the top and tell her she's going with them. She cops an attitude and will have none of it. Next we meet Chad. He is a whale trainer! He is already my favourite. Because I have a thing for whale trainers. He's also adorable. We'll see if he has a personality or not. Last but not least we meet Fireman Carter. He rushes into a burning building, grabs a little girl, and sees one of those spirit things. It shoots fire at them. He manages to dive out of a window with the kid, saving her life. He is recruited by the young woman from before, with her own Men in Black guard. Clearly he will be the Red Ranger. Also, y'know, fireman. He should totally be Captain America. So they're all shoved in a little helicopter and flown over the ocean to a submarine. I kept expecting the soundtrack to Jurassic Park to start playing. Then they go to an underwater colony where the secret military organization is based. It's almost as cool as Seaquest. But not nearly as cool as the Helicarrier. Joel accuses Captain Mitchell of kidnapping him and is irritating. He kind of grates on my nerves here. I hope he gets better. I don't dig the cowboy thing, but I like greens so... maybe. We'll see. Captain Mitchell convinces them all to sit down and tells them about how 5,000 years ago the world was inhabited by demons, capture, entombed, and buried. They have prepared for the escape of the demons by creating ranger powers and sitting on them for awhile. They hand picked these kids to combat the demons. Joel thinks it's crazy and goes to leave again. Carter speaks up that he saw something. Joel sits back down. There is a report of the city being attacked and suddenly everybody is all "Yeah, okay, I'll be a Lightspeed Power Ranger". I kind of dig that they all had a choice to volunteer for this thing? Then Captain Mitchell's daughter gets the pink morpher. He's apparently been training her for this HER WHOLE LIFE. And that kind of bothers me a little? Because, well, what if she didn't want it? Did he allow her to cultivate her own interests or just push her to Super Secret Military Stuff? Poor kid. She was groomed, not reared. They take their morphers and leave the underwater base in a HUMMER. They had to be flown in, but they can just leave in a Hummer? What was the point of the dramatic helicopter ride? Whatever, there are people being attacked by black spandex wearing goons wearing TINY ADORABLE BAT WINGS. I think I like these guys. I also like that all the rangers TOTALLY FAIL AT FIGHTING. Because they aren't fighters. They're just strong personalities. So they morph and it's kind of... well different I guess. Boring, but different. Yellow does not have a skirt on her morphed suit, but pink does. Was yellow male in Sentai? I know nothing. There is a fight. It is boring. They win, though, and that's nice. They demorph in front of a bunch of people. So I'm guessing this is NOT a secret identity thing? Captain Mitchell kind of kills their buzz because he warns them there are more monsters to come and they'll be fighting for a long time. He's pretty bad at the whole "inspirational" thing. Everybody awkwardly salutes, except his daughter, because I get the feeling she's been saluting him her whole entire life. I have a lot of questions about this episode, but I will let them mostly slide because it's first episode of a brand new season. Like, how did they know about the demons? What made them decide to create the morphers when they did? If this was 5,000 years ago, this was post Zordon. So what was he doing? Also, who the hell opens a cursed chest? And keeps opening it when it does weird crazy things that chests should not be able to do? Also, if Dana has been trained for this for the past 18 YEARS, why is she not red? Carter has no training whatsoever to be a Ranger. Dana was freaking GROOMED FOR THE JOB. She should be red. 2 fish. Not bad for an opener.

Episode 337 - Journey's End Part 2

Today on Power Rangers, we get an epic start to the usually-awkward middle part of a three part story. Also, OMG THEY REMEMBERED BULK IN THE OPENING CREDITS! I thought they forgot he was on that darn ship.

So our Starship Troopers are quickly ushering civilians onto the shuttles. they have to evacuate the station pretty darn quick. On the surface of the moon, the zords are fighting off Stingwingers. They try to stop them from getting into the ship, but it's no use. There's too many of them. And they are blowing up everything in sight.

We see Bulk (BULK!) running with the Professor. The Rangers are now helping to try to get people to safety, away from the explosions and the stingwingers. They keep blowing themselves up. It's... suicide bombers. It's kind of a disturbing plan, really.

Meanwhile Villamax is upset that Trakeena is destroying her own army. He sees something out of the corner of his eye and chases it, only to discover a little girl hiding behind some rubble. A building explodes and HE PROTECTS HER! HE COVERS HER AND SAVES HER FROM GETTING HURT! HE IS THE BEST! Then she asks for help and he chastises her for not being in a safe area. Her mother comes running up and carries her away, but not before Tiny Cindy says "Thank you" and hands him a flower. MY HEART IS A PUDDLE OF MELTED DAWWWW.

The rangers sort of beat back the army, mostly because they all kill themselves. The dome is cracking. The rangers are exhausted. Things look pretty bleak. Trakeena wants to kill everybody, but Villamax isn't too sure about it.

Back on Terra Venture, Leo is picking up tiny children and placing them on a car. Kai is telling people to leave their personal items behind because there is no room on the shuttle. Mike finds the commander in the bridge, looking over his ruined ship. He's sad because it was supposed to be a shining beacon of humanity but instead it's a shipwreck. Even Kai is pretty upset over it. Apparently the domes were supposed to be parts of the colony? And that's why they have them? Which... doesn't make much sense, but whatever.

Villamax is having flashbacks to Tiny Cindy and he refuses to follow Trakeena's orders. Trakeena is following one of the shuttles. She's going to kill them all, but Villamax will not fire the missles and kill them. He points out that the Red Ranger killed her father, not the innocent people and small children on those shuttles. He talks to her of honour, but she tries to bypass him. She fights him but he won't fight back. He would rather be destroyed, and takes the killing blow as she crushes the flowers, than live with less than honourable actions. I REALLY like this guy. He needs to be friends with Ecliptor.

I also don't think she's entirely acting out of her own free will. I think a lot of this is Deviot's influence from their accidental merging. Trakeena learned more from Villamax than that. This is more like Deviot than Trakeena.

Meanwhile, the rangers are trying to protect the shuttles with the Megaship. And they're doing it helmetless! It's great. Except they're totally losing the battle and the Megaship is in serious trouble. Trakeena's ship has rammed them and is stuck. Leo knows the only way to stop Trakeena is to set the Megaship on self destruct. Damon really doesn't want to, because he loves his ship, but it's the only way. So they do it.

Leo goes to get Alpha while the others clear rubble from their only avenue of escape. They manage to blast a whole big enough to get the little rockets through and Leo gives Alpha a lift. They make it, but just. They clear enough to not explode, but not enough to avoid the blast wave. Alpha goes hurtling through space. Leo crashes on the moon. The others make it to the planet. The Megaship is destroyed. Somewhere, Andros is crying emo tears of sadness.

But the shuttles make it to the planet in one piece which was the whole purpose. Maya, Karone, Damon, and Kai all made it to the planet. They find Alpha as well, but there is no sign of Leo. Kai is the first to notice and nobody suspects he's stranded on the moon. UNMORPHED. Because the crash was pretty bad. At least this moon apparently has atmosphere? Because he can breathe.

Trakeena crashed as well and she stumbles from her wreckage of a ship towards the cocoon that turned her into what she is today.

To be continued!

2.5 fish. Only mildly plot-holey and really actually pretty epic. Especially for a middle episode. This one wasn't the least bit awkward!

Episode 336 - Journey's End, Part 1

First thing - Con report. Only a month late.

Second - We have reached the finale! It feels like we've been recapping Lost Galaxy forever! *checks* Oh. We started this in January? Wow. Well, we'll start Lightspeed Rescue next week and it will be awesome!

So! Recap! Epic finale is epic, and all that.

Trakeena is so excited to see Terra Venture again. And we're really excited to see Trakeena! Seriously, we've missed her. She's AWESOME. Deviot comes up with such a ridiculous excuse about how he was forced to serve Mutiny, but she's so not buying it. She's all "destroy him! Before I get a headache!" LOVE. He runs to the cocoon that had been prepared for Trakeena and makes his way towards it.

However, he's stopped by Villamax before he can get into it, and a fight breaks out, and during the fight Deviot grabs Trakeena and they both fall into the cocoon, where they merge. So now Trakeena has Deviot's insanity and strength and also a bunch of other powers and shit is getting real.

Back on Terra Venture, the commander is like "we have one engine left, can't fix anything, we're screwed." There's only one planet within reach. Luckily for them, the planet has everything to support human life, so it will be their new world for the colony. ... Shouldn't they have chosen a world before they left? I mean, I'm glad that they found a Goldilocks planet, but...

Stanton makes a fairly good speech (I keep expecting him to yell "today will be our independence day!") and the dome projects an image of the new world, which they'll get to the next morning. Everyone is like "yay! We're home!"

Mike doesn't want to go to sleep because he doesn't want to miss anything, and the rest of the Rangers are also staring at the world. Everyone is excited about the lack of cars and pollution (don't worry, I'm sure they'll screw it up quickly enough) and Maya is sad that Kendrix isn't there. Then Kai realizes he's late for his shift, and everyone is like "who cares? We have a home!" Kai's response is "I have to land this thing, idiots," and they pretty much shove him towards his shift.

Just as they're about to land, Trakeena's ship shows up, and crazy!Trakeena fires on them. Leo then steals some explosives because he has a plan. Why did Leo go over the hood, in the window by the soldier, and then exit on the side with Damon when he could have just opened the door by Damon, stole the explosives, and then closed the door? Trakeena's ship is awesome, and she takes out the last engine.

Then Damon waves at Trakeena to try and get her attention and he's sad that he's the decoy. Again. It's not that you're the decoy, Damon, it's that Trakeena wants you so she was most likely to come after YOU. Leo attaches the explosions to Trakeena's ship when it burst through the dome and apparently a really tiny explosive on the outside of Trakeena's ship is able to seriously damage Trakeena's ship. Sure.

And then Terra Venture crash lands on the moon. The city dome detaches and the rest of the ship is destroyed. But they aren't safe on the moon, the dome is cracking. Some little kid asks his dad if they're going to make it to the new world, and the dad is like "Sure, kid." Leo is determined.

The Commander is like "if it cracks, we're not going to survive." The first council guy is like "how dare you suggest we abandon Terra Venture???" and like, all they have to do is get from the moon to the planet. The colony is a total wreck, councilman, do you just want to argue? Luckily, smart!councilwoman is there and she agrees to evacuate.

Trakeena has a plan, and she turns the Stingwingers into SUICIDE BOMBERS. I'm honestly wondering if this is going to be able to air on the vortexx now that they're showing Lost Galaxy there. I mean. Suicide bombers. Really. Villamax tries to reason with her, that they can destroy the Rangers without destroying their troops, but she's hearing none of it.

She has a date with DESTINY. Trakeena approaches the troops and makes a great villain speech about being ruler of the universe.

I'm honestly wondering how much of this is from the cocoon, and how much of it is from merging with Deviot. I mean, is it all her in there? How much of this is his influence? Or is this the part of Trakeena's personality that the cocoon revealed?

The suicide bomber Stingwingers approach Terra Venture and Trakeena laughs maniacally. To be continued...

Fish: 2.5! We have some questions and Leo's plan made NO SENSE and again, space doesn't work like that, but there are some pretty epic moments.

Episode 331 - Until Sunset

is going to Power Morphicon! Or at least I am! (Seriously, California, why so far away?) The point is, I will be at Power Morphicon, and you should come say hello to me! This will also be our last recap until after Morphicon. So. Right. I'm recapping a recap episode. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one thing to say about this episode - Leo and Damon are tied up. They've been beaten up. And for some reason, there is a SAD LACK of hurt/comfort fic that takes place after this episode. People taking care of them! Dehydration! SERIOUSLY, FANDOM. HURT/COMFORT FIC. They could take care of each other! The other Rangers could take care of them! They could assure the other Rangers that it isn't there fault! The point is, there should be some cradling and hugs and ridiculous hurt/comfort. (See also my feelings about canon slavery, and why is there no ridiculous AU? I AM JUST SAYING, FANDOM. WHERE IS THE FIC?) I mean. The rest of it is... okay, it's a clip show. Let's go over all of their adventures. I get that they need to save the budget or whatever to stretch this out another episode, but it's pretty dull. Anyway, we open with Leo and Damon being chased by the pirate mooks and Deviot. After the excessive fight scenes of the last episode, I couldn't care less. But somehow we manage to SKIP OVER them being captured, which would have been a GREAT FIGHT SCENE, and instead we skip directly to Leo and Damon being chained up in the hot desert sun, and seriously, will the villains please get out of the way of the camera blocking the very pretty men who are chained up? Deviot is all "I want to kill them now" but for some reason they're waiting until Captain Mutiny gets there in a few hours (at sunset, hence the title) so instead they leave them all alone and tied up. That is a FAIL PLAN. However, I can't express in words how much I approve of the framing device of this episode. Leo is all "we shouldn't have come" and Damon is like "shouldn't you have said that before?" Except it turns out that both Leo and Damon forgot to tell the others which planet they were going to end up on, because they are totally failbots. Damon is mocking Leo for always getting in trouble, which Leo denies, so we get a recap of how Leo ended up on Terra Venture. Then Damon makes fun of Kai for being crazy. Seriously, I love them all. More recaps follow, with them getting the swords, the "death" of Mike, and Leo getting the last saber. We get more shots of Leo and Damon all sweaty and chained up, and then we recap the Magna Defender and his epic cape. This leads into the Mike Defender recap, and Damon mocks the Magna Defender, which is always A+ in my book. Also, his swishy dramatic cape is great. The next set of recaps is just a montage showing how great they are, before the camera lovingly lingers all over the chained up Damon and Leo. The boys are starting to get seriously dehydrated, and now they discuss the villains. The best part of this entire sequence is when they talk about how cute Trakeena is (WHY isn't there more Trakeena/Damon in the world??? Why?) Then we go on to the Psycho Rangers and team-up episode, and the death of Kendrix, which is very sad. :( Leo says its the worst thing that ever happened to them, although five minutes earlier he said losing his brother was the worst. I guess the heat is getting to him. Then we get the Karone is awesome montage, and then we get to the Lost Galaxy part. We finally get to sunset, and Captain Mutiny shows up to gawk at the chained up Rangers. I approve of how their shirts are artfully torn. Both boys try to sacrifice themselves in exchange for the other, but at that point the other Rangers finally show. Damon and Leo morph, and they fight one of the monsters. Leo's fugly armor is still fugly. Leo and Damon argue over which of them is responsible for not telling the others, and Leo claims that the lesson he learned is to wear sunscreen. Then Damon and Leo have a moment about sacrificing themselves for each other and blaming it on delirium. This entire episode was a waste of time, and the only good part was the hurt/comfort fic that should exist because of this. Fish: 2. It was just a clip show, and we did get chained up Leo and Damon, so points for that. Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER. CAN YOU TELL?

Episode 330 - Grunchor on the Loose

Today on Power Rangers... I have no clue what I just watched. We start off with the Starship Troopers opening a big wooden crate. The Rangers rush in to tell them not to open it, that it's a trick. They are too late and there is an explosion and then a weird plant/bug/creature thing that shoots LASERS FROM IT'S EYEBALLS. It burrows underground because... well... I don't know why. It just does. It tears up roads and underground tunnels and... why does a spaceship have ground again? The rangers report that they saw slaves and the big pirate ship has no plans to help them, he just wants to enslave them all too. I had actually forgotten about that. Oh well. The military is running around telling people to evacuate and don't go underground and AGAIN I ASK. WHY DOES A SPACESHIP HAVE AN UNDERGROUND???? AND WHERE THE HECK ARE THESE PEOPLE EVEN EVACUATING TO? Whatever, the monster is in the underground highway. He apparently also spits purple poison on top of his laser eyes and I really hope he eats Nedry. Mutiny's goombas wear kilts. Well, skirts, but I think they're supposed to look like kilts. Or awkward pantaloons. Doesn't matter, I'm impressed either way! Deviot oversees them moving... something... and the rangers stop them and wonder how he managed to get to the Lost Galaxy as well. Because the show finally remembered it's title. I am still less than impressed with these space pirates. TSB and I agree that they aren't nearly as great as the Gokaigers. Maya has a chance to destroy Deviot and Leo stops her because... reasons? He thinks they can get information out of Deviot (oh Leo) and Maya really knew better. But of course nobody listens to her. Deviot feeds them false information and then runs away. The rangers then encounter Grunchor. Apparently we get two monsters this week? Or is the big guy Grunchor? It's really not clear to me. This is a lot of fighting. I'm trying to care about it, I really am, but I just can't be bothered. Grunchor shows up and the rangers combine powers to throw fire at him which really just serves to piss him off. Really guys? Did you actually think Deviot gave you reliable information on how to beat his side? REALLY? They have to call the fugzords. Nobody bothers to get this guys motive either. He could just be cranky. Maybe he has a cold. Maybe he wasn't allowed to get a good night's sleep. Heck, maybe he's confused and thinks he's helping. They just assume he's evil and wants to destroy them, so they fight him. The fight is not going well so the rangers have pulled out alllll the toys. Literally, all of them. Some I don't even remember seeing, but I'm sure were introduced at some point over this past season. Honestly, it's been kind of a rambly season to me, like it never really knew what it wanted to say or where it stood. It... meandered. And so not a lot of it stuck with me. Anyway, All-the-Toys seem to be doing the trick until Captain Mutiny decides to join the fight. Then they start to lose again. It's still pretty boring. I just... I don't quite get why this episode had so much fighting? I really would have liked to get some kind of back story for Grunchor or explanation for why there were two monsters this week or... something. Leo keeps trying to sacrifice himself. Then Mike keeps trying to sacrifice himself. Then Leo does it again. We keep expecting the Dragonzord to show up because this is such a Tommy episode. Tommy, this is not your season! Get out of this episode! Suddenly the others decide to jump in and sacrifice themselves too and this is apparently enough to destroy the poor unexplained monster. Later, the rangers discover Captain Mutiny's planet can just vanish off the radar. Because... reasons? They're in a lost galaxy I guess? Science still does not work that way. And never will. (random note: Curiosity lands tonight. I am incredibly excited about this) 5 fish. Because I don't know what I just watched. And I felt really bad for the poor unexplained monster.

Episode 329 - Beware the Mutiny

Previously on Lost Galaxy - FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH.

Or, in other words, the writers remembered the title of the season and were like "SHIT, we need to actually have the title be relevant to what's going on. Um. Crap."

So somehow they're in some lost galaxy, which doesn't actually make any sense, because how do you LOSE AN ENTIRE GALAXY especially when a) people can get in with a book and b) people are already living there. What the hell, writers. Just send Daniel Jackson and SG-1 to investigate, okay?

Trakeena is all "they've entered the lost galaxy" which apparently a) everyone knows about and b) is the most mysterious place. Trakeena doesn't want to enter the galaxy, and I've decided that the galaxy is secretly inside the M'Kraan Crystal, mostly because I feel like linking to X-Men stuff.

Apparently there are no stars to navigate by or something, and I'm pretty sure this means that there are no FAMILIAR stars to navigate by, because we can clearly see stars. Also, apparently everyone can breathe in space or whatever. The commander and Mike get a vision of some old man warning them never to look back, except it seems Mike and the Commander never left the ship, and the fish are strong with this one. Even the clocks are wrong, and it seems like time is moving backwards. I'm sure that the MMPR kids can sympathize, but at least it doesn't seem like we're getting baby!Galaxy Rangers, although I would be totally in favor of that.

Somewhere else, we meet Captain Mutiny and his ship of Pirates. I approve of Space Pirates, and I'm already shipping him with Divatox on general principle. For some reason they're referring to their own galaxy as lost, but they live there and clearly know where they are, so I don't know why they're calling it that. I'll give Mutiny credit, his ship is pretty damn cool. And we get a bunch of pirate jokes.

The Commander and the executive board of the ship are talking about how to get out of there, when Mike is all "um, there's a castle on a dinosaur coming towards us" which may be the greatest sentence ever said in the history of this show. Seriously, that is why I watch Power Rangers, because we get castles on the backs of Dinosaurs. Anyway, the pirates are rowing in space and apparently they can breathe in space, The Starship Trooper armor is out in full force, which is nice.

Mutiny is all "I come in peace" which is clearly bullshit, but he gives them a gift of sparkling coins. Stanton tells everyone to be at ease, because he's a moron.

Seriously, why are they still calling it the Lost Galaxy. THEY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. Mutiny offers a way to send them home, but they have to go to his planet. BECAUSE IT IS CLEARLY A TRAP, but Stanton is all "we have no other choice" so he sends Mike to go retrieve the machine.

Karone is all "everyone is an idiot, this is too easy" because she is the greatest. The Rangers go to spy as Mike picks up the package, and they decide to investigate. And we find out that Mutiny keeps slaves. You guys, canon slavery. I will totally take all the bad and wrong fic where the Rangers are slaves. They figure out that whatever is in the box will make Terra Venture slaves. However, they get spotted by another slave, who begs them for help, giving away their position.

Cue monster attack. Fight, Zords, etc. The amount that I don't care can't be expressed in words. Could we instead talk about the AU where the Rangers get captured as slaves? WAY more interesting and if anyone wants to write a bad and wrong fic that would be great.

Oh, and Deviot shows up and drains the energy from the nearly defeated monster or whatever.

On Terra Venture, they open the box that was given to them by Mutiny even though they know NOTHING ABOUT IT, because they are idiots and even as the Rangers are running and yelling them not to open it, it is too late and a GIANT UGLY MONSTER that somehow fit in a box that is clearly smaller then him shows up and burrowed underground. WORST SECURITY EVER.

I guess that's supposed to be a cliffhanger or something. Whatever.

Fish: FIVE. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

Episode 313 - The Lost Galactabeasts - Part 2

Previously - COLLARS AND FORCED TO FIGHT EACH OTHER. Oh, and there's a new villain and some possessed evil zords, and I spent a while raging at Queenriley about how to handle special collections and generally had a librarian freakout about THAT IS NOT HOW YOU HANDLE RARE ITEMS, KENDRIX. I have a lot of feelings about it, okay?

Anyway, so there's some villain stuff with being a new general and the evil zords, and could we go back to Damon and Kai being collared and forced to fight each other? I'm just saying, this is pretty relevant to my interests.

Meanwhile, the Rangers are brainstorming about why they can't get the Zords to fight. They... are idiots. It is pretty obvious. Anyway, because Damon is the smartest, he has a plan. And Leo is all "So, we should blow shit up." Oh, Leo. Of course that is your plan. You are such a red.

Meanwhile, Kendrix is going to research. Come join my fictional researcher/librarian favorites list, Kendrix! Although take a class on archives, okay?

Maya is trying to reason with the Fugazords, but they ignore her, and the evil Zords start destroying the colony. The boys show up on their bikes, while Mike and his floppy hair are running around command. Kendrix continues to stare at the book. The boys get ambushed and Damon is all "you two go blow shit up, I will fight all the mooks."

Kendrix sends Mike to go help out while she continues to research, and this is why the teams usually do better when they have a tech! Clearly Billy should show up and be all "let me run everything because I am great at this." But really, I just want more Billy in everything, so. (He should hook up with Kendrix. They could be adorable geeks together!)

Kai blasts more monsters and he is injured, so it is up to Leo to go blow stuff up by himself. The fug zords are just standing there, staring at the evil zords. Meanwhile, Leo nearly gets ambushed, but Kendrix and Mike show up at the last minute, leaving him to drive off.

Meanwhile, Kendrix has FINALLY figured out that the evil zords are galactabeasts, because the fish must have finally stopped interfering with her thought processes. She knows she needs to stop them. Leo is about to drive his bike into the evil Zords to make it explode, but Kendrix throws herself into his path. She explains how the Zords are clearly under a spell and instead a plan is formed to take the evil remote control away from Deviot.

Deviot exposits some more about how he captured the Zords and brainwashed them and we get some more backstory from whatever happened 3000 years ago. Deviot teleports out, and we get some fun fighting as the Rangers try to get the remote away from this week's monster. There's a dramatic pushing the monster off the roof, and seriously, this monster looks like Swamp Thing. Leo finally gets the remote, but the monster destroys it.

The Rangers summon the fish of Orion, and then the monster grows. Of course, their Zords are busy fighting the other Zords, so we have a problem. They get the Zords to stop fighting and form the Megazords. I am not sure why we can see a sun setting, since they are ON A SPACE SHIP.

I also don't know why we can see the moon rising. Anyway, the Rangers are all "Remember who you aaaaaaaaaaaaaare" which is a thing I love. They keep yelling at them to remember that they're friends, and somehow that magically gets to them, and they turn into the nice versions of themselves! Now they have ALL the Zords, so the fight now consists of the new Zords showing off before they destroy the monster.

Deviot has a sad, because he wants to enter the cocoon. He then immediately decides what he should do is destroy Scorpius. I do love a scheming villain - go hang out with Darkonda, Deviot!

Anyway, the Zords have a sad, and we find out that they've gone 14 light years, but they couldn't get back to Earth even if they wanted to? So the most they could go is 27 light years? Although I am impressed that they managed to go 14 light years in 20 episodes! They've got a pretty great FTL drive!

Fish: 3.5! Boys, blowing stuff up might not always be the greatest plan.

Fic we want: LOOK, I know it is last episode, but I am just saying - someone should really write me some dubcon under a spell, Damon/Kai fic. JUST SAYING.

Episode 295 - Quasar Quest - Part 2

Okay, since I traditionally do the theme song and fashion discussions, I guess I should start with those.

1-The theme song is freaking great. It is such an earworm, and I'm actually looking forward to having it stuck in my head for the next few months. And I really like that it's so different from the PRiS theme.

2-AHAHAHA WHERE DO I START. So yeah. Charlie Brown. So much Charlie Brown. Those things are hideous and there's way too much white and they don't entirely feel like Power Rangers costumes.

3-The "civilian" costumes, or the Terra Venture uniforms or whatever. They're also hideous. They're like Star Trek: The Original Series, and NOT IN A GOOD WAY. And this is coming from someone who loves TOS. They just look super cheap and ridiculous.

4-Speaking of Terra venture related things, the design of the ship makes no sense. We're going to have to change the tag from "Angel Grove geography makes no sense" to "Power Rangers geography makes no sense."

And now that we have all that out of the way we can talk about the episode.

So! Previously on Power Rangers without Zordon Star Ship Troopers Lost Galaxy, somehow a bunch of not-teens can all breathe the atmosphere (possibly because they're on the blue area of the moon.) It's been 22 minutes, and we haven't seen Power Rangers yet at all

Kai abandons his potential boyfriend to head back to the ship, and Kendrix interrogates Mike about not telling her that he had a sibling. Mike is all "I just want to make sure he's okay!" If that's true, Mike, then why do you want to leave him behind on Earth.

Speaking of leaving people behind, apparently nobody noticed that they left people behind on the moon, and Kai is sulking about it. Luckily, he finds a poster for the AstroMegaship museum (and I want all the fic about how that came into being) and he has a plan.

DECA and Alpha are narrating about the history of the Power Rangers, and then Kai kicks everyone out of the museum and somehow convinces Alpha that the ship is being recommissioned. Damon the awesome mechanic is like "you want to fly this thing out of here? WHAT." He totally calls Kai on his bullshit, and since Kai is a bad liar, he instead tells them the truth and is all determined to save his friends. Kai tries to convince Damon to fly the Megaship out, and Damon ignores them. Kai totally fails at flying this thing, but luckily Damon (aka Miles O'Brien) shows up to help anyway and he knows what he's doing, because Damon is THE BEST. Seriously, I love him. Anyway, they fly through the portal.

I am also super jealous of the tiny children who have Megaship toys. Speaking of museum related things - yeah, timeskip issue. I know that this was originally intended to be a few years after PRiS, but since that didn't really work... yeah. No idea how this timeline makes sense at ALL.

On Mirinoi, Mike is still pissed that Leo followed him, and the villain is all threatening the citizens of Mirinoi. Maya and her new boyfriends/girlfriend show up, and the six of them fight the foot soldiers. Why they're all fighting hand to hand when they have guns we're not sure, but.. power Rangers.

Anyway, Mike gets knocked back and he grabs a sword from the stone, and then everyone except for Leo also grabs a sword. Super dramatic posing time! Maya is all excited that they've been chosen, and Leo is all "wait, what?"

Villain guy then gets pissed and turns the planet to stone, and with it all the people. Seriously, they're trying to outrun the stone.. Villain guy then creates an earthquake and the ground cracks and Mike falls down the hole. Leo is all "give me your hand!" but instead Mike hands him the saber. Mike tells Leo that he's proud of him and that he can do it and then he FUCKING LETS GO. What is this bullshit. And once he lets go, the ground freaking swallows him. Everyone yells Mike's name, even Damon, and as far as we know Damon has never met Mike before!

Furio mocks Leo's pain, and that somehow unlocks the knowledge of how they should all be Power Rangers, so it's morphin time! Or Go Galactic, or whatever.

I will just say that I love how Kendrix is totally still wearing her glasses under her helmet.

The villain is all "silly costumes won't help" and that's right, they are silly. As is the wacky stylized running or whatever. Although I do love that they all have swords and we get a ton of sword fighting. That was totally lacking in the last few seasons. And the sword totally makes things explode, and I'm in favor of that.

The Galaxy Rangers have to run away from the stone that is eating the planet, so they just ignore the stingwingers and run. Our heroes, everyone. Once back on the Megaship, Alpha is like "POWER RANGERS, WHAT?" and he is so excited to have more Rangers. Aww, Alpha! It IS too good to be true! <3

The Rangers head back to Terra Venture as Maya's planet completely turns to stone. They just manage to make it through the portal and you know somewhere Andros is screaming "WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY SHIP?"

Maya fills the other Rangers in on the history that we heard last episode, and everyone is excited, except for Leo, who will have a sad for a while. Somehow, nobody on Terra Venture seems to acknowledge that the Megaship is there, or that Mike is gone, or that Leo and Maya are aboard now. Terra Venture heads out and they go start their quest to find a new world. And somewhere else, Furio is being yelled at by Scorpius, so expect me to make a million Farscape jokes, okay?

Fish: 4! It's a pretty compelling start to the season, but there are too many questions!

Questions: How did Kai and Damon find a new portal? How come Mike freaking LET GO. Why did Mike keep changing his opinions on Leo? How are they so not dealing with Mike vanishing and Leo/Maya joining the ship?

Episode 294- Quasar Quest Part 1

Hey guys! It's a Power Rangers I am NOT familiar with! Finally! Try not to spoil me too much, okay? And forgive my mistakes or genuine surprise. I've only seen two or three episodes of Lost Galaxy and I only have fuzzy, vague memories of snippets.

So we start off with what looks like a promising start! It's all science-fiction like! With spaceships and space stations and space colonies and this is a thing of wonderment! This is like all my dreams come true! Space! SPPPAAAACCCEEEEEEE.

And then an old dude standing in front of Excalibur on crack... 5 swords in a rock (quasar sabers, apparently). Nobody can lift them out. Because they are not the chosen ones meant to bring peace and prosperity to pre-medieval Great Britain the universe, duh. Except one of the girls in the audience totally is because we keep getting flashes of her reaction to the people failing at getting the swords. They basically beat you over the head with it.

Bad Dude comes and messes crap up. People run, there is smoke and fire, things are scary. And then he fails at pulling out the sword. Dude, you are not Arthur. Deal with it and move on. You'll be much happier if you do. But I suspect he won't. Seeing as he's clearly a bad guy and all.

Next we're on a space station! SPACE STATION! With a CITY IN SPACE! Sort-of military dudes are looking for new planets (one of them is broody... I sort of remember this part). Science lady is adorable with her hybrid plants. Moody!Military guy is emo about leaving Earth and going far far away. Meanwhile, on Earth, people are scrambling to try to get onto this space station. SPAAAACCCCEEEEE! Bulk and the Professor are there. They have forgotten Skull, however, horrible friends that they are.

We meet Future Red Ranger, clear to the audience by his RED VELVETY SHIRT and good natured yet slightly bad boy behaviour. He helps an old lady, guys, from some "street folk" who want her passport onto the station. Yeah, totally the red ranger. Old Lady is sad Future Red Ranger wasn't picked for the SUPER AWESOME SPACE COLONY. So Future Red Ranger sneaks on board anyway. Because he's THAT kind of guy (and omg I love him already).

Future Red Ranger is in awe of Terra Venture. He doesn't even get past the escalator before he gets caught. So he runs and knocks over Adorable Science Girl, who will clearly be the pink ranger because she's wearing pink. Future Blue is there and all "Don't flirt with her; you're totally mine in future episodes". So Leo (I don't think they've said his name yet, but whatever, we're 15 minutes in) runs off, manages to steal and put on a Starship Troopers uniform, and then gets pulled into a bunch of troops going on a moon drill. Worst. Security. EVER.

He saves Kendrix, Future Pink of Adorableness, from a bomb on the moon. And somehow they can breathe? But there is no atmosphere... I don't get it. Space doesn't work that way. Kai goes batshit on him and then we finally hear Leo's name, because his big brother is there. There is family drama, but then First Future Ranger comes through a wormhole and things are really weird. Then some bug looking things come through the wormhole, attack, and then go back from whence they came.

AND THEN THEY FOLLOW! BECAUSE MAYA'S HOME IS IN DANGER! AND THEY ARE TOTALLY THE CHOSEN ONES WHO WILL BE THE POWER RANGERS! Except Kai who fails at reining in his Red Ranger. He gets left behind. But he's Future Blue so it's okay.

4 fish. Science really really REALLY does not work like that.

Episode 293- Countdown to Destruction Part 2

Today on Power Rangers, things are BLEAK. And then they are totally awesome.

So everybody has been captured and people are being led away and others are just kind of gathering together. Astronema comes down and informs them the rest of the universe has surrendered. She now rules EVERYTHING. She is seriously the BEST EVER at everything. The rangers aren't coming, they failed, and the rangers are hiding among them. She wants them by the following morning. Her ultimatum? It's the rangers or the whole planet is destroyed.

People actually argue this. Nobody knows who they are, but nobody knows why they aren't helping either. Then Bulk is AMAZING. He stands up and gives everybody hope... because the rangers have never let them down before. They'll be there. Bulk, how are you so awesome?

The rangers have gathered around a small file. They don't know what to do when Zhane comes stumbling up. He just barely escaped and he confirms the rest of the universe really did cave. They need a plan. Andros wants to go talk to Karone. The others try to talk him out of it, so he tries to sneak away instead. It's the only way to save everybody, even if it means losing himself and his own life. Ashley catches him, but decides to let him go. There is a tearful goodbye.

The following morning, Astronema accuses the rangers of sacrificing the whole planet because they didn't show up. She asks for the rangers one last time, but nobody will give them up. She's about to destroy everything when BULK STEPS UP AND SAYS HE'S THE BLUE RANGER! AND THEN SKULL IS THE BLACK RANGER! AND WE GET A PINK RANGER AND A SILVER RANGER AND YELLOW RANGER AND RED RANGER AND THEN EVERYBODY IS A RANGER AND OMG IT IS SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND AWESOME AND I LOVE THIS EPISODE! Citizens of Angel Grove, you win everything. Astronema is going to destroy them all, but the rangers stop her. Carlos, Cassie, Zhane, Ashley, and TJ stand on a wall, out themselves, and then morph in front of everyone. They will go down fighting before they let the Earth be destroyed. OH SHOW.

Bulk and Skull lead the charge of average humans into the fight, because they won't give up. It is the stuff of legend. Seriously.

Andros screws up some stuff on Astronema's ship in order to lock Ecliptor in a room and then goes to look for her, not knowing she's not there. He finds Zordon and they have a heart to heart. Evil has taken over everywhere. There is no way to stop it. Unless Andros shatters Zordon's tube, killing him in the process, but sending a wave of goodness across the universe and destroying all evil. Andros starts to, but can't bring himself to do it. It's a big sacrifice.

Astronema shows back up on her ship and confronts Andros. There is an epic fight. She is determined to kill him and he's determined to save his sister. She won't listen, though, or doesn't want to. The fight is seriously amazing. Andros has to deflect a blast back to her or die instead. She falls to the ground, unconscious, and he fears he's killed her. Ecliptor is PISSED. That's his little girl. Daddy won't stand by and let his little girl get hurt, so his anger fuels the fight. Ecliptor, you're such a good Daddy.

Zordon finally convinces Andros to destroy the tube. It's the only way. Zordon pulls the duty card and Andros finally does it. He shatters the tube. Zordon dies as a wave of goodness sweeps across the entire universe. The evil, including Ecliptor, turn to dust. Those with goodness in them turn human, including Rita and Zedd. Zedd asks Rita to dance, because they are still in love. Divatox turns human, back into Dimitria's sister. Unfortunately, the rangers powers leave them. They won the fight, Earth is saved, but the powers are gone.

They are sure Andros died up there, until Astronema's ship comes down to Earth. They think she's won, that they really did lose after all, until Andros comes walking out of the hatch. He's carrying his sister. Ashley is happy but dude, this is NOT the time for a joyous reunion. He killed Zordon. He thinks his sister is dead and he did it. ALL THE FEELINGS, SHOW!

He puts her down. He cries the fakest tears of magical healing ever and she wakes up as Karone, healed and happy and healthy and not the slightest bit evil. They won! They really won. Mind, Zordon is still dead, and it's really him that won it for everyone. But wow. Just... wow!

They head to KO-35 to help clean up a bit, restock the ship, take some supplies back to Earth. They are invited to stay, but they're homesick. They just want to be back on Earth. Andros decides to stay, however. It IS his home, after all, and it's not fair to ask him to give that up right after he gets it back (Ashley, I'm looking at you Little Ms. Guilt Trip).

He falls for it, though, and he and Zhane board the ship at the last minute to go to Earth with them. Earth is going to be a little crazy with the celebrity hero worship thing, guys. You might have should have stayed on KO-35 for awhile.

Guys, THIS is how you do a finale. BEST FINALE EVER. No series has managed to live up to it since.

1 fish. BEST EPISODE EVER IN EXISTENCE.

Episode 292 - Countdown to Destruction

OH MY GOD, IT IS FINALE TIME.

So we start with Dark Specter telling Astronema that it is time for the FINAL BATTLE. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT? Astronema is talking to a giant army about how there will only be evil left and SERIOUSLY, EPIC. We get to see ALL THE OLD VILLAINS. The Machine Empire is there (and wow, I missed them) and then we see the forces of Divatox fighting the Aquitian Rangers (and where is Billy?) and Astronema yelling at Rita and Zedd (and they both sass her until Dark Specter's name is dropped) and HOW SO GREAT, SHOW. HOW SO GREAT.

Astronema talks to Zordon, and is all "mwahaha, running out of energy" and Zordon tells her she won't get away with it. We see another flash of Phantom and Blue Senturian being overrun by the Machine Empire and then Rita and Zedd and their putties and a TON of old monsters fighting on Triforia and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A FINALE.

Even KO-35 (with Zhane back there) is again being destroyed. Zhane heads to Earth to find more Rangers to help, but of course he's attacked on his way back to Earth. Luckily for him, the Astro Megaship shows up to save the day at the last minute.

Andros and the others tell Zhane that it's not just the KO-35 rebels, it's ALL OVER the universe. Apparently there's a whole galaxy that has no defenses at all? Really? And of course, Earth is under attack. I wish they'd managed to bring back some old Rangers for this, because you KNOW that they were busy fighting during it. (I choose to believe that it happened and we just didn't get to see them.)

And I mean, seeing the GIANT ARMY of fighters show up in the sky is freaking amazing. Again, this is the finale that I judge all other finales by. Because WOW.

From space we can see that it isn't just Angel Grove - all over it being attacked, although it looks like things are concentrated in Angel Grove, of course. We're surprised that the rest of the world hasn't abandoned Angel Grove by now.

There's a decent space battle as they get ready to land, and Zhane offers to handle the space battle part as the Rangers fight on Earth. We get to see a LOT of buildings get destroyed, including some familiar sights.

Even still, the Rangers are TOTALLY OVERWHELMED. There are just SO MANY of them. They keep trying to evacuate people as they go, but like, where are they supposed to evacuate them to?

Andros goes all Battlizer in his ugly toy, and blows up a ton of stuff. Until Eclitpor knocks over his ugly toy, and Ashley and Andros get forcibly demorphed by Ecliptor and Darkonda. Once their powers fail, they run away.

Zhane isn't having much luck either, and then for some reason he just LEAVES THE MEGASHIP to launch his own zord? I guess Alpha is piloting the Megaship? He does get to smash a bunch of fighters with his fists though, and that's pretty cool. Of course, there are so many fighters that he falls over. Bad plan, Zhane!

the remaining Rangers also get demorphed and ugh, Carlos's arms. SO NICE. TJ calls for a retreat and they get chased by a bunch of Quantrons. The Rangers are all pretty beaten up, with Carlos trying to carry Cassie.

The citizens of Angel Grove appear to have been captured and are being escorted somewhere by Quantrons, and the Rangers (minus Zhane) all regroup. Darkonda is all pissed because he only has one life left, and then he launches his own ship to do something.

Astronema is talking to Dark Specter, when Darkonda attacks Dark Specter and BLOWS HIM UP, although Darkonda is destroyed (by Dark Specter) in the process. The forces of good would like to thank you, Darkonda, for doing everyone a favor.

Alpha contacts the Rangers to let them know that Dark Specter has been destroyed, and Ecliptor tells the universe that now Astronema is in charge. Divatox is SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT. I love her. And then the whole universe bows to Astronema.

A little kid is told by his mother that they shouldn't worry, the Rangers will save them. Zordon tries to get through to Astronema, now that her programming should be failing, but her programming reasserts itself. At least Zordon's power is no longer being drained?

And just as Astronema gives the order to invade for real, we get the to be continued. THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS, SHOW.

Fish: 1.5 THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS.

Questions/fic we want: So, the other Rangers are doing WHAT during all this?

Episode 289 - Ghosts in the Machine

We're BACK. I've missed recapping so much, you all have no idea.

So apparently all the missing people from the last episode (remember that one?) are on a cruise ship? I thought they were in an alternate dimension? Maybe I've just forgotten things from last time. Anyway, the cruise ship is completely abandoned. Except apparently people were on the cruise ship and eating some fairly nice food? I have no idea, seriously, show. Why were the prisoners being held on a nice cruise ship? Why have they all left now? If Astronema wants to take me prisoner and put me on a cruise, I would be totally in favor of that. Free cruise!

Back on the ship, Carlos is still stressed about Silvy, and he and Andros continue searching.

Except now the prisoners aren't on a cruise ship, they're in an underwater city, and Astronema of Borg and her minions are turning Bulk, Skull and the Professor into datacards? I seem to remember this making more sense.

Were they on the cruise ship at all? Why does Astronema want them to be datacards anyway? How is she going to use them? Was the city on the ship? Why does Carlos only care about Silvy? Like, half of Angel Grove is missing.

Andros's big plan once they somehow figure out that the city is under the sea is that they'll tunnel under the city? What. I don't know.

The ghosts of the Psychos follow them around and they're very sulky about it. The Rangers make a big deal about not being detected, and then they pretty instantly get discovered. But there's a fairly decent fight scene, so I'm cool with that.

Astronema claims that their getting into the city was part of her plan all along. Which... I might buy, because Cassie instantly pushes Andros out of the way of the machine thing and she's slowly and apparently painfully turned into a datacard. She gives a last minute plea to Astronema about how they're friends, but Astronema is all "nope, I have none" and Andros is unable to destroy the datalaser because it will destroy Cassie as well. The other Rangers are all dataformed a lot faster.

The psychos take advantage of the machine to somehow turn themselves back into physical form. I guess they're also data? The fish are really strong with this one. I guess it's because they're under the sea and all.

The Psychos steal the datacards back, and then they fight Ecliptor and blast him repeatedly. Because the Psychos want their own revenge they turn the Rangers back into physical form. Really, Emily Thorne is way better at this revenge thing then they are. There's some more fighting over who gets to destroy the Rangers, and then some more fighting. The Rangers appear to be doing better at fighting the Psychos.

Even though Zhane wasn't with them when they went to the city, he shows up anyway to fight Ecliptor? He finds all the datacards (still not sure what Astronema wanted them for anyway) and then turns people back to normal. (There are far less people then there were cards, for the record).

The Rangers lure all the Psychos to the control room and turn them into datacards. Due to stuff blowing up, the Rangers have to teleport out without the Psychos datacards. This is the end of them. Riiiiiiiiiiight.

They briefly try to convince us that Zhane is hurt, but nobody is buying that. It wasn't even a convincing fake out. And then we find out that of COURSE Astronema still has the datacards.

There was not enough of awesome future ranger Silvy in this episode :(

Fish: FIVE. SO MANY FISH.

Questions: Why did it take so long to transform Cassie compared to everyone else? Seriously, why did Astronema want datacards anwyay? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THIS EPISODE?

Episode 286- The Enemy Within

So today, Dark Specter is running out of time. Astronema's plan is working BEAUTIFULLY. She is so awesome.

The Rangers are still trying to find the MegaVoyager. They aren't having much luck. Meanwhile, the Psychos are starting to rebel against Astronema. They want to destroy the rangers and she won't let them yet. The Rangers think they found something and Zhane convinces them it's a trap and he should go in alone. He's such a cocky badass. He's right though. It's totally a trap. Luckily the others listened to him and are sneaking in the back.

The Psychos are kind of dumb, for a change, and don't bother to COUNT the rangers. One ranger controlling one zord. The other five are sneaking in and getting their zords back. Mind, Zhane might be cocky, but he's not that brilliant either because he didn't count the Psychos. Yellow isn't fighting. She's waiting by the zords. Because she booby trapped them and now they won't work for the rangers. DUH. They manage to get them back and combine ("and the penis goes through the hole") only to have Psycho Yellow take control of the zords.

Zhane is caught in his zord and tied up. Again. Yay for more bondage! The rangers are about to get their asses handed to them when Ecliptor pulls Psycho Red back. They have an epic battle (is it possible for Ecliptor to have a battle that isn't epic? I don't think it is). Ecliptor hands him his ass instead, before he runs away and goes back to the ranger battle. He pulls Andros out and they fight. On a tranquil countryside by a small lake with some waterfalls. It's really quite pretty. The fight is kind of boring though. Andros wins, just barely, with the help of Alpha and the Megaship. They break the hold of the virus and Psycho Yellow loses control, letting the rangers have their zords back.

Psycho Red tries to beat them, but Psycho Black stops him. There is infighting. Psycho Red ruins the whole plan. They set Zhane free, unfortunately. He's much better when he's tied up. There is something about energy and absorbing and turning it back on the Psychos and then they destroy the other three psychos and... what the fuck? This is freaking RIDICULOUS. Like, I have no clue what's going on. TSB and I remember this story arch being MUCH better than this.

Astronema nearly had Dark Specter destroyed. She's on her own side, though, and she's still determined to take out everybody and rule everything. Andros, meanwhile, is going to bed when he sees a shadow. Psycho Red is on the ship... except it's not Psycho Red. It's Zhane. In a suit. Who got the shit beaten out of him by Andros for scaring him. Oh Zhane. Not funny.

5 fish. This was just... bad.

Episode 281 - Rangers Gone Psycho

Today on Power Rangers,

So we start off with a battle. There is screaming. And a weird owl monster thing. It's... not pretty. Nor is it exciting. Nor does it bode well for this episode. They win, of course.

Back on the ship, Andros has a sad. He can't stop staring at his locket. Because he misses his sister. Again. He flash backs to talking to her about missing her, and getting to know her, and how they have all the time in the world. Except they don't because she's evil again. Poor Andros. Ashley manages to talk him into taking a break back on Earth. Adelle gives them heaps of food, but Carlos is awesome and remembers to say "thank you".

They overhear a girl playing with her little electronic organizer. It sounds just like the communicators and all I could think was how super awesome it was at the time, and how super clunky and huge it looks compared to today's tech. Then they get distracted by a news report. There was an attack at a building and the news reporter sees the rangers, and asks them what happened. Except it's not the rangers! They attack the reporter.

The real rangers end up on the scene and there is an epic battle of ranger vs ranger. This is super awesome! The Psycho Rangers are GOOD. It is one amazing battle. They end up wearing really cool armour before introducing themselves. Faster, stronger, BETTER. And EVIL. It's super intense.

Zhane does not have a psycho ranger equivalent, though, and rushes in just in time to save them. The Psycho Rangers vanish, but not before taking some energy from the real rangers. Astronema is sure this is the only way to beat the real rangers. This is actually a really good plan of hers.

The real rangers can't figure out what's going on. They don't know who the psycho rangers are, where they came from, how to find them. They don't know how to beat them. And it's really clearly bothering them.

The Psycho Rangers are taken in by the sound of the little address storage device. They keep attacking humans to no avail. The real rangers can't figure out why random people are being attacked. Luckily Zhane is still on Earth. Or not so luckily, because the Psycho Rangers find him and capture him. Oh Zhane, you're so pretty when you're tied up.

They've taken him to the old library (apparently there is a new one?) and it's a total disaster. Seriously. Wouldn't they have moved all that stuff to the new library? Anyway, Zhane is still tied up and is very pretty. The real rangers can't get through a force field, though, and aren't allowed to morph. So Andros comes up with a plan, because he has to get his boyfriend back. He uses a remote controlled car to distract them and they fall for it (running like I don't even know what... who the heck pulls their knees up to their chest while running?). The rangers get in and rush to Zhane. Who is delightfully tied up! There should be more Zhane and bondage in this show.

There is a big battle between the rangers and the psycho rangers, because of course they knew the rangers were there. They're evil, not stupid! Though I can see how it would be easy to make that mistake in this show...

The battle is once again epic but the psycho's get called back before they can completely destroy the rangers. But not before there is MAJOR damage to the rangers. Zhane escapes just in time to SEE THEM FALL. Like, hardcore fall. So he rushes to Andros (boyfriends!) and helps them back to the ship.

Astronema has the BEST PLAN EVER. She is going to use the psycho rangers to drain the power from Dark Spectre while they simultaneously destroy the power rangers. This will leave her free to be in charge of everything. SHE IS FREAKING BRILLIANT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING.

Episode 279 - Dark Spectre's Revenge Part 1

Welcome back, dear readers! We've missed you and this blog!

Today on Power Rangers, Astronema is being a Good Girl and Andros is showing her around the ship. Andros shows her the replicator synthetron. He pulls out a plate of the weirdest combination of food and she is totally not hungry.

Which is good because she gets called to the bridge (they call her Karone!), and the others are all standing there looking stern, then they pull a Scrooge and make her an honorary Power Ranger. DAW!

Meanwhile, Ecliptor is having a Terrible Horribly No Good Very Bad Day, what with being assaulted and strapped down to a torture bench (bondage pron!). Darkonda is freaking TERRIFYING. I would not want to be kidnapped by that guy. He reports to Dark Spectre and is totally ready to go get Astronema back from the rangers.

Back on the MegaShip, Karone has rid herself of the awesome coloured hair and is now just regular, blonde, shy Karone in her Ranger jumpsuit. She's cute, but I miss the hair.

And we're back on Earth with Bulk and Skull! They're roasting marshmallows! I LOVE THEM SO! The Professor is stargazing and sees an asteroid and Bulk and Skull assume excitement. Except this is a huge asteroid and it's going to destroy the entire Earth. I think I've seen this movie a few times.

The MegaShip ends up on a collision course with the asteroid. Everyone lurches to the right on cue. Dark Spectre is totally driving that asteroid and demands Astronema be returned. Andros says the first intelligent thing in a long time and says Karone doesn't belong to anybody. DAMN STRAIGHT! They decide to go blow up the super big asteroid. Tiny lasers don't do much damage to it (OMG ACTUAL SCIENCE IN THIS SHOW?!?!?!?! BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!). Darn, where's Bruce Willis (I'd be happy with Morgan Freeman as President as well) when you need him?

TJ is given the explosives to destroy the asteroid while Andros holds back the Quantrons. In this Mega Asteroid Movie, however, nobody is going to die. Because it's Power Rangers Meet the Mega Asteroid. Which is awesome.

And we get MORE actual science, because the explosives do jack shit! The asteroid is still heading to Earth and it's barely damaged and it's HUGE. The rangers scramble to find a solution, when Karone is SUPER AWESOME and finds the only answer. She has to go back to Dark Spectre. It's the only way to stop the asteroid. And she's totally willing to do it because SHE IS THE BEST EVER.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull attempt to sneak into Nasada with the Professor. They need to go tell them about the GIANT FREAKING ASTEROID headed for Earth. Because apparently the super powerful telescopes didn't pick it up, but the amateur telescope did. Whatever, it's a Mega Asteroid movie, so I don't care how implausible that is. But they are warning people! Because they are awesome! And want to help! Good job, guys.

Karone has made it back to Darkonda's ship and is ready to destroy the asteroid. Except she's confronted by Ecliptor who has been altered. He's not totally evil and is going to hurt her! But he can't! He's her fake!Daddy! Oh Ecliptor, honey. He overpowers her and she loses communication with the rangers. All the cries.

Andros doesn't even time to mourn because Nasada is asking for help dealing with the asteroid. They've already tried that, dude! But they're going to try again. Because they're Power Rangers.

Nasada makes a statement to "Angel Grove and the world", further proving Angel Grove is it's own country. He brings up the asteroid crash of 65 million years ago (OMG MORE SCIENCE FOR THE WIN! I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ACCURACY THIS SHOW IS GIVING ME NOW) and how we're looking at more world wide destruction on that scale. The Professor tells everybody to panic, which is horrible advice. Stand up and take your impending demise in stride, people. It will be so much better for you all.

Except the rangers on the case and they use EVEN MORE GOOD SCIENCE by using the MegaZords to push it off course, because THAT is the real life only solution to averting destruction by an asteroid! It doesn't even take much! OH MY GOD THIS SHOW! COULD IT BE ANY BETTER? I DON'T THINK SO! *anime hearts for eyes*

Bulk and Skull and the Professor are going to use a Nasada space ship to go into space. It's... not the best idea? But it's all they have. At least they're trying. So they manage to launch the space ship without any help at all. They hurtle towards the asteroid. The MegaZords are pushing the asteroid at full power. Will they make it?

To be continued...

1 fish. OMG ONE FISH. The actual science in this episode outweighs ANYTHING ELSE that could be wrong with it.

Episode 274- Zhane's Destiny

Today on Power Rangers, Zhane has a destiny. As if that wasn't expected from a 6th ranger.

Zhane and Andros are looking for some kind of energy source on a desert planet. They think it might be Zordon, but they can't seem to find it. The others join them but it's really hard going with all the sandstorms and then they totally get captured by humanoid lifeforms that nobody knew were there.

The beings live underground to avoid the storms. TJ is sure they're not going to hurt them because they put them in a cell instead of killed them initially. They discover they're in some kind of infirmary where people start turning into creatures, although the people who captured them accuse them of being spies (and turning people into coral). It turns out some of them are working for Maligore Dark Specter. Meanwhile, Astronema still has a Sad because she thinks Zhane stood her up and she likes him.

Despite Military Guy planting stuff on Ashley and insisting they're guilty, Old Political Guy refuses to back down and insists on treating them to the proper course of law. The rangers will get a trial. Good job, Old Political Guy! Military Guy is not happy about this, and immediately reports. Old Political Guy follows him and discovers everything, only to be captured by Military Guy.

Meanwhile, the rangers manage the easiest escape possible. Worst. Prison. EVER. Old Political Guy is turning into coral and they are caught trying to help him, although it looks like they did it intentionally. Luckily Andros and Zhane show up to save the day. Some of the people know them, however, because they escaped from KO-35. These people no long trust Military Guy, but he has a monster and in such a confined space... well... people turn to coral left and right. This episode is really weird.

But! We get lots of unmorphed fighting, of which I highly approve. More please! Alas, instead they all morph and go fight on the surface. SAD. Zhane chases Military Guy around the caves instead. Military Guy is actually Darkonda! Zhane has to fight him on his own... the others are busy with all the toys and a big monster on the surface (and as soon as they defeat him, which takes no time at all, the people turn back into people, so that's cool). Zhane fighting Darkonda? TOTALLY AWESOME! I will take more of that any day of the week. Old Political Guy helps Zhane and Darkonda explodes/runs away. Then there are lots of hugs. I also approve of the hugs.

The Karovians are leaving, the rangers help them carry stuff, and all is well in the world again. Except Astronema still has a sad since she's totally heartsick over Zhane. She's out for blood.

Except Zhane is totally staying with the Karovians. So that's his destiny? He stays to build weapons (and write secret love poetry to Astronema)? That's... kind of lame, actually. Andros is clearly not happy about this. He gets his boyfriend back, and then he leaves again? So not fair. So now Andros has a Sad too. Geez Zhane is good at tearing up the hearts of this family.

3 fish. Easiest prison escape in the history of prison escapes. They basically walked right out.

Episode 267- The Rangers' Mega Voyage

Shana tova everyone! We are BACK! And we start the new year (the Jewish one anyway) with Power Rangers! What better way to ring in Rosh Hashanah, eh? (or, as Matt Austin Sadowski wished us on his twitter "Happy JewYear")

So we start out with a fight. A fight? Really? That... does not bode well. It's two big monsters and they're going after the Megazord. Carlos notes that reserve power is about to go out. This must have been one heck of a fight. Alpha has worked out one of the key cards and I have to wonder why he was doing that instead of helping with the MEGAFIGHT, but whatever. He's found a super awesome weapon that they conveniently have juuusstttt enough power to go get.

One of the monsters goes after the rangers. Astronema is all badass with a card playing monster we saw when there was Sword Fighting on my Power Rangers. She's very much with the "torture is fun!" and manages to get lots of information about the key cards. Very helpfully provided to us, the viewers, in the form of clips from the previous episode. Way to waste a clip show.

The rangers find the Super Awesome Weapon while the other monster is attacking Alpha and DECA. They aren't really doing much in the fighting back bit. Unfortunately, Astronema totally wants that weapon and heads them off at the pass. Andros is sure he's found the weapon because he totally knows it when he sees it, but Cassie provides drama by FALLING DOWN dramatically as the door closes. She jumps right through just in time, sealing them off from Astronema. This is not an exciting chase scene. They need to take some pointers from Indiana Jones.

The weapon is really five new zords. Four of which are conveniently positioned around a very phallic looking rocket. OH SHOW. Zordon left the New Toys because he totes trolls the rangers. They take the New Toys back to Earth and fight the monster. I'm wondering what happened to the monster that was supposed to be following them. Is he just chilling out in space? Just kind of milling about enjoying the view? They ARE on one of Jupiter's moons. That's got to be one pretty sweet view.

There is a boring fight. It is almost as boring as JDF (did you hear he's this years NPS guest? I... really could care less. I used to live near the dude. Didn't care then, either) The New Toys rescue Alpha and DECA just in time. There is dramatic music. It's not nearly as epic as Rick Astley. This episode is still boring.

(this episode is made so much better by the Spousal Person helpfully playing Rick Astley in the background for the whole 20 minutes... which might have been irritating if I didn't unironically love Rick Astley.)

5 fish, for being utterly boring and forgettable.

Episode 262 - The Great Evilyzer

So the professor is creating some new device that will turn people EEEEEEEEEVIL. I don't think that good and evil quite work that way, but I am seriously hoping that I will get evil Rangers out of this. Also, then the terrible trio gets attacked by an evil robot thing, so hey! Points. Ecliptor steals the evilyzer, and laughs evilly.

... So why would someone WANT to build an evilyzer anyway? No, seriously. WHY?

On the bright side, we should get some evil Rangers out of the deal!

Astronema tells Ecliptor to test it on the Rangers (YESSSSSSSSSSS) but she has a bigger plan.

Ashley and Andros are on some planet with really heavy gravity which causes Ashley to fall over. Once they're back on the Galaxy Glider, Ashley and Andros show off for each other, and... that is not how space works. Ashley's glider gets hit by the evilizer and tries to throw her off and AGAIN, THAT IS NOT HOW SPACE WORKS.

Apparently the gliders are programmed to be good. UM. THEY ARE GLIDERS, THEY ARE NOT SENTIENT. THEY DO NOT HAVE GOOD AND EVIL SETTINGS. Although I really wouldn't be surprised if my router was permanently set to evil. So you know. Maybe I could believe this.

CASSIE, YOUR HAIR. Is this a symbol of her going evil? Because HAIR.

The Rangers morph because there's some disturbance in Angel Grove, since there's some monster. They shoot at it, and then it vanishes, only to be met by TWO monsters. And then more monsters. Astronema makes one of them grow, while the others are apparently tough to defeat even while they're small.

Andros summons his new toy and Astronema uses the evilyzer to turn it evil. Look, I don't care about evil Zords, I wanted EVIL RANGERS. HOW DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT THIS WITH NO EVIL RANGERS.

The Delta Megazord starts destroying the city, and man, the space rangers are going to have a lot to explain. They should call Tommy for some tips. Andros decides that the smartest way to fight an evil Zord is to summon the OTHER zord. Andros orders the Delta Megazord to stop being evil, and it looks like it works, but the evil!Zord is smarter then they are and it shoots them a lot. You go, evil!Zord.

They hit the Delta Megazord with some frequency that should jam the evil although it is overheating the Zord. The Delta Megazord heads to space and the Rangers follow it and try to link with it to find out if it's still evil. THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLAN. But for some reason it works.

The combined Megazord beats ALL the monsters by punching them. What were the monsters doing while the two Megazords were fighting? I mean, they should have helped the evil!Zord.

Astronema threatens to destroy Elgar for talking too much, which would have redeemed the episode. Sadly, it doesn't happen. Andros and Ashley find Ashley's EEEEEEEEEVIL glider, which she then fixes. The terrible trio is still running from the evil toy.

Fish: 5! WHAT A WASTED PLOT DEVICE.

Fic we want: NO SERIOUSLY, WHY WERE THEY NOT EVIL?????