This episode sucked AND it pissed me off.
... Apparently I still have to do a recap. Fine. Tommy and Jason are teaching a women's self defense class. Good for them, although I would have liked Trini to have been the one teaching it. But then we get to their advice. Which apparently boils down to yell really loudly and always use the buddy system. Because, you know, if you walk by yourself you'll be raped and it will totally be your fault and WHAT THE HELL SHOW. Rage blackout number 1. (There was a lot more cursing and a lot more all caps in the first draft of this post.)
Also, apparently they're just teaching the moms of Angel Grove. Because if you're not in high school you must be a mother and it isn't like there are any single women. Or maybe they should just stay at home by themselves.
Anyway, class ends, and the Rangers all go to try Ernie's new drink. I guess all the money from the reward paid off. Bulk and Skull show up, wanting to join the class that Jason and Tommy are teaching. The boys point out that the class is over, and then Trini reminds them that it is a women's self defense class. Bulk and Skull say that they just want to meet babes, like Kimberly, and then Skull sniffs her hair, and in context it is so incredibly inappropriate that I have rage blackout number 2.
Apparently this episode is supposed to be about teamwork or something, because Rita creates a monster that has two heads, since that's better than one. They repeat that a lot. Tommy and Jason get attacked in the park and they morph. Jason wants to fight, but Tommy wants to retreat. I guess this is also the Tommy and Jason need to learn how to get along episode. Which already happened once.
So, they go with Tommy's plan and teleport to the Command Center instead of just calling for help. Apparently the way to defeat the ridiculous bird thing is to feed it a pamango fruit. Hey, guess what type of drinks Ernie was serving earlier! Gee, I wonder if this will be relevant. Tommy goes to the park to go climb a tree and find a fruit, but he gets attacked by putties and they steal the pamango. I guess that there was only one tree and that tree only had one fruit. Right. Whatever. But seriously, if it's native to Angel Grove, couldn't they have gone to a grocery store?
Instead, Tommy goes to Ernie and feeds him a bullshit story about how he bought Kim a parrot and the parrot needs a pamango. Ernie humors him and gives him the fruit (I am firmly convinced that he assumes it was for Ranger related reasons and was amazed at the sheer stupidity of Tommy's lie) and Tommy goes off to join the other Rangers, who have been fighting the monster. Apparently Jason is failing at teamwork because he didn't wait for Tommy? Because this monster is too smart for them? I fail to see how waiting for Tommy will improve their chances. Anyway, Tommy shows up with the fruit and the monster fights over the fruit. It reminds us of gooney bird eggs. Rita makes the monster grow, and they summon Titanus and defeat it. (Side note - it seems that Tommy is way more powerful than the rest of them, but isn't he operating on limited power?)
Back at the Youth Center, Ernie asks Kim about her parrot, but apparently Tommy never bothered to tell her about the lie, so she's totally confused. Bulk and Skull interrupt the women's self defense class, and it is time for rage blackout number 3. Jason and Tommy allow Bulk and Skull to be the attackers in the self defense class, and the moms beat them up. Which I actually have a problem with, because you need to learn how to take a fall, and they could have been actually hurt, and basically everything about this episode upset me.
I fail to see how the last line of "two moms are better than one" is relevant anyway. Or why this episode was about teamwork. It is now stricken from my personal canon.
Fish. FIVE FISH. Between the rage inducing and the fact that the plot made no sense there's nothing else we could give it.
Billy speak: "It's a mixture of ananas comosus, cydia fruit, and carica fruit" (seriously? Google tells us it is actually Cydia FRUIT MOTHS. I'm really grossed out now.) (We're hoping that he actually said SANDIA fruit, which is watermelon. But it sure didn't sound that way.)
"By doubling it's cranial capacity, Rita has created a..."
"Perhaps we could distract it with it's favourite food. Parrots do like fruit."
Quotable Quotes: Polly want a megazord?
Showing posts with label ultrazord. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ultrazord. Show all posts
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Episode 40 - Doomsday Part 2
You know, considering how great part 1 of this episode was, you would think that part 2 would be awesome. And there are some good moments, but honestly we spent about half of it chanting fish at each other.
So, we open at the Command Center, and Zordon is going over the threat again, and he points out that Goldar hasn't brought out his awesome zord in 10,000 years. Of course Goldar hasn't brought it out in 10,000 years. He's been sealed in a can. While we're busy rolling our eyes at that, the next ridiculous statement is made. Apparently it requires 12 hours to charge back up the Megazord. Right now the Zords are only at half power. If they fight at half power and get destroyed, apparently it can destroy the grid. Wait, seriously? Since when does it take that long to charge up? And obviously they've fought at below half power before, considering that the Zords are currently charging. Fish fish fish.
So, they go, and promptly get beaten up. In fact, the Megazord gets its arm cut off. And seriously, that Zord has to be at least semi-sentient at this point, because while the Rangers are all freaking out (seriously, it's the best reaction shot ever) the Megazord manages to defend itself anyway. So they call in the Dragonzord, which promptly loses part of its tail. They keep getting beaten up, and then suddenly the Zords start to disintegrate, and seriously, that was pretty incredible. I mean, the special effects are ridiculous, but seeing the Zords get destroyed like that is pretty powerful.
The Rangers all abandon ship, and demorph back in the park. Apparently Rita is jamming the frequency of their communicators so they can't call the Command Center. Oh, and don't worry, because Billy's about to pull a Billy Ex Machina, and it turns out that the Zords have a failsafe where they teleport back to wherever it is they stay if they're about to be destroyed. If so, seriously, why haven't we heard about this before, and why was Zordon so busy going "blah blah destroy the grid" if you go?
So they head back to Billy's garage, and we get a shot of the Radbug. And I thought we've already established that if you can't contact the Power Chamber, you take the radbug. But Billy apparently has some wacky tool that will fix the communicators. Of course, there hasn't been enough drama in this episode yet, so Goldar and some putties show up to menace them.
Meanwhile, at the Command Center, Zordon is all "woe is me, I can't find the Rangers without their communicators", which is frankly bullshit. But Alpha tells us that since Rita's awesome moon palace is on Earth, apparently they can hack her systems now. I'm getting weird Independence Day flashbacks.
Back at Billy's garage, Goldar is still just standing there and being vaguely threatening. He hasn't even tried to attack yet. And he just watches as the Rangers teleport back to the Command Center.
And guess what? Apparently it must have been WAY MORE than 12 hours, because all of the Zords are just fine! Including Titanus, which must have been rescued from the sandpit by some flying sand-fish. Some other stuff might have happened at this point, but there was a long series of ????? and !!!!!! and flailing and screaming about fish and seriously, show, you could at least try to be consistent within the same episode. Zordon's big plan is that if they just keep changing Zord configurations, they can overwhelm Goldar's Zord. Which... apparently works. Big fight scene. Things blow up. Nothing to say about it really.
So after Cyclopsis blows up (it lost its head last time and still recovered!) Finster blames Goldar, and then Rita packs up her palace and goes back to the moon, and for some reason that makes the entire town reappear in the Park or wherever it was they were gathering.
Some little kids start arguing over which Ranger is the best. One boy likes the Red Ranger, another boy likes the Black Ranger, and a third boy likes the Blue Ranger. A little girl says she likes the Pink and Yellow Rangers, and seriously, couldn't you have gotten a second girl? Or maybe have one of the boys like one of the female Rangers? Is that too much to ask?! Of course, Tommy then makes an appearance (wearing all green, of course) and he tells them a secret - they are all the greatest. (I was really hoping he would say the Green Ranger is the greatest. Oh well.) So the Rangers show up and the all walk up and clap him on the shoulder, and seriously, how come nobody realizes Tommy used to be the Green Ranger?
The mayor makes a speech about how the Rangers are awesome, and that's the end of Power Rangers Day.
But wait, there's more! Back at the Command Center, Zordon says that while they haven't defeated Rita, they have dealt her a major blow. He then offers them the chance to quit. None of them do. Until they go off to a Peace Conference or move to a fish planet, anyway. That would be a great place to end the episode, except then Alpha says he caught a virus. A computer virus. GROAN.
Fish: Four fish. None of the Zord stuff made any sense.
Billy speak: "Rita's undoubtedly jamming the frequency"
"I'm adjusting the modulator to read an alternative signal"
Questions to be answered: What did the people in town experience while they were caught in the alternate dimension? What sort of events should happen at Power Rangers Day?
So, we open at the Command Center, and Zordon is going over the threat again, and he points out that Goldar hasn't brought out his awesome zord in 10,000 years. Of course Goldar hasn't brought it out in 10,000 years. He's been sealed in a can. While we're busy rolling our eyes at that, the next ridiculous statement is made. Apparently it requires 12 hours to charge back up the Megazord. Right now the Zords are only at half power. If they fight at half power and get destroyed, apparently it can destroy the grid. Wait, seriously? Since when does it take that long to charge up? And obviously they've fought at below half power before, considering that the Zords are currently charging. Fish fish fish.
So, they go, and promptly get beaten up. In fact, the Megazord gets its arm cut off. And seriously, that Zord has to be at least semi-sentient at this point, because while the Rangers are all freaking out (seriously, it's the best reaction shot ever) the Megazord manages to defend itself anyway. So they call in the Dragonzord, which promptly loses part of its tail. They keep getting beaten up, and then suddenly the Zords start to disintegrate, and seriously, that was pretty incredible. I mean, the special effects are ridiculous, but seeing the Zords get destroyed like that is pretty powerful.
The Rangers all abandon ship, and demorph back in the park. Apparently Rita is jamming the frequency of their communicators so they can't call the Command Center. Oh, and don't worry, because Billy's about to pull a Billy Ex Machina, and it turns out that the Zords have a failsafe where they teleport back to wherever it is they stay if they're about to be destroyed. If so, seriously, why haven't we heard about this before, and why was Zordon so busy going "blah blah destroy the grid" if you go?
So they head back to Billy's garage, and we get a shot of the Radbug. And I thought we've already established that if you can't contact the Power Chamber, you take the radbug. But Billy apparently has some wacky tool that will fix the communicators. Of course, there hasn't been enough drama in this episode yet, so Goldar and some putties show up to menace them.
Meanwhile, at the Command Center, Zordon is all "woe is me, I can't find the Rangers without their communicators", which is frankly bullshit. But Alpha tells us that since Rita's awesome moon palace is on Earth, apparently they can hack her systems now. I'm getting weird Independence Day flashbacks.
Back at Billy's garage, Goldar is still just standing there and being vaguely threatening. He hasn't even tried to attack yet. And he just watches as the Rangers teleport back to the Command Center.
And guess what? Apparently it must have been WAY MORE than 12 hours, because all of the Zords are just fine! Including Titanus, which must have been rescued from the sandpit by some flying sand-fish. Some other stuff might have happened at this point, but there was a long series of ????? and !!!!!! and flailing and screaming about fish and seriously, show, you could at least try to be consistent within the same episode. Zordon's big plan is that if they just keep changing Zord configurations, they can overwhelm Goldar's Zord. Which... apparently works. Big fight scene. Things blow up. Nothing to say about it really.
So after Cyclopsis blows up (it lost its head last time and still recovered!) Finster blames Goldar, and then Rita packs up her palace and goes back to the moon, and for some reason that makes the entire town reappear in the Park or wherever it was they were gathering.
Some little kids start arguing over which Ranger is the best. One boy likes the Red Ranger, another boy likes the Black Ranger, and a third boy likes the Blue Ranger. A little girl says she likes the Pink and Yellow Rangers, and seriously, couldn't you have gotten a second girl? Or maybe have one of the boys like one of the female Rangers? Is that too much to ask?! Of course, Tommy then makes an appearance (wearing all green, of course) and he tells them a secret - they are all the greatest. (I was really hoping he would say the Green Ranger is the greatest. Oh well.) So the Rangers show up and the all walk up and clap him on the shoulder, and seriously, how come nobody realizes Tommy used to be the Green Ranger?
The mayor makes a speech about how the Rangers are awesome, and that's the end of Power Rangers Day.
But wait, there's more! Back at the Command Center, Zordon says that while they haven't defeated Rita, they have dealt her a major blow. He then offers them the chance to quit. None of them do. Until they go off to a Peace Conference or move to a fish planet, anyway. That would be a great place to end the episode, except then Alpha says he caught a virus. A computer virus. GROAN.
Fish: Four fish. None of the Zord stuff made any sense.
Billy speak: "Rita's undoubtedly jamming the frequency"
"I'm adjusting the modulator to read an alternative signal"
Questions to be answered: What did the people in town experience while they were caught in the alternate dimension? What sort of events should happen at Power Rangers Day?
Episode 39- Doomsday Part 1
This episode starts with the news that it's going to be Power Ranger Day! There is going to be a big celebration in the park and the Rangers are going to make an appearance, all in celebration of the fantastic wonderful things they do to save the city.
Bulk and Skull hide in a corner and decide they want to pretend to be superheroes. They devise a plan to dress up and go to the celebration to reveal themselves as superheroes too. It's a pretty neat idea, but it's not going to go well because as we all know, Bulk and Skull just can't catch a break.
The park is set up with some really awesome, really wacky balloons. Jason and Zack are looking around for Billy, Kim, and Trini. They stumble upon Angela first and Zack asks her to hang out but she, per usual, turns him down. She does say she'd go on a date with him in a heartbeat if he were a Power Ranger! Oh Angela, if only you knew! They meet up with the others and have very loud conversations about wondering if it's time to morph into costume now. Secret identity: you're doing it wrong.
Bulk and Skull show up, change in a small photo booth, and then awesomely jump on stage. They look fantastic in their costumes! They introduce themselves as Bulkster and Super Skull: Boy Wonderful. I'm madly in love with them right now, Skull in particular. TSB has determined that Skull would make a great Robin one day and is intrigued by Skull/Dick Grayson. Hey, Batman exists in this universe. It could totally happen!
Rita plans to transport everybody to an alternate dimension and then take over Angel Grove. It's actually a really good plan. She starts with Bulk and Skull and within minutes, she's managed to teleport every single person except the Rangers. They contact Zordon and she takes her entire palace from the moon all the way to Earth. The palace is much bigger than it looks because underneath all that moon rock is what appears to be a skyscraper. She settles right in the middle of downtown Angel Grove. A prime location, I do believe.
The Rangers morph and call their Zords just in time to meet up with Goldar and HIS shiny new Zord! Yes, Goldar gets a Zord in this episode! It's name is Cyclopsis and it's insanely powerful. It's more powerful than Goldar is, which actually fits in continuity of the show, what with Zords generally being pretty badass compared to non-Zord-wielding Rangers.
The Rangers just can't beat this Zord, so with the MegaZord running on back-up battery power, they call in DragonZord. He is awesome, but still not powerful enough. The awesomeness that is Titanus shows up and lays the smackdown on Cyclopsis. It essentially BEHEADS him and that's the end of that fight!
Or is it? It's not! Rita sinks Titanus! She opens up a big hole in the ground and Titanus goes down! The MegaDragonZord tries to save him by grabbing him 'round his head and tugging, but Rita zaps them with her wand and Titanus is engulfed. It's really really sad. Poor Titanus, his little head poking out of the dirt while he sinks, crying in terror. Oh I could cry myself!
Rita summons Lokar and they know they're in trouble now. The Rangers, out of power, teleport back to the Command Center. Zordon tells them the residents of Angel Grove are safe in the alternate dimension, but they will be trapped there forever. Jason gets very emo and temporarily turns into Captain Obvious, stating that the Rangers are the only hope left for the residents of Angel Grove, but he look so wooby when he says it, I can't fault him for stating the obvious. Oh Jason, I just want to take you home and feed you cookies when you look like that. Zordon then basically tells them if they lose, the world is lost, and their friends and family will be trapped forever. No pressure or anything, though, right Zordon? Uh-huh.
We end with a To be continued.
That, dear readers, was an AWESOME episode.
List:
1 fish! Two episodes in a row we get only 1 fish.
Billy speak: "We can't allow him to gain a strategic advantage!"
A moment of silence, if you will, for Titanus.
Bulk and Skull hide in a corner and decide they want to pretend to be superheroes. They devise a plan to dress up and go to the celebration to reveal themselves as superheroes too. It's a pretty neat idea, but it's not going to go well because as we all know, Bulk and Skull just can't catch a break.
The park is set up with some really awesome, really wacky balloons. Jason and Zack are looking around for Billy, Kim, and Trini. They stumble upon Angela first and Zack asks her to hang out but she, per usual, turns him down. She does say she'd go on a date with him in a heartbeat if he were a Power Ranger! Oh Angela, if only you knew! They meet up with the others and have very loud conversations about wondering if it's time to morph into costume now. Secret identity: you're doing it wrong.
Bulk and Skull show up, change in a small photo booth, and then awesomely jump on stage. They look fantastic in their costumes! They introduce themselves as Bulkster and Super Skull: Boy Wonderful. I'm madly in love with them right now, Skull in particular. TSB has determined that Skull would make a great Robin one day and is intrigued by Skull/Dick Grayson. Hey, Batman exists in this universe. It could totally happen!
Rita plans to transport everybody to an alternate dimension and then take over Angel Grove. It's actually a really good plan. She starts with Bulk and Skull and within minutes, she's managed to teleport every single person except the Rangers. They contact Zordon and she takes her entire palace from the moon all the way to Earth. The palace is much bigger than it looks because underneath all that moon rock is what appears to be a skyscraper. She settles right in the middle of downtown Angel Grove. A prime location, I do believe.
The Rangers morph and call their Zords just in time to meet up with Goldar and HIS shiny new Zord! Yes, Goldar gets a Zord in this episode! It's name is Cyclopsis and it's insanely powerful. It's more powerful than Goldar is, which actually fits in continuity of the show, what with Zords generally being pretty badass compared to non-Zord-wielding Rangers.
The Rangers just can't beat this Zord, so with the MegaZord running on back-up battery power, they call in DragonZord. He is awesome, but still not powerful enough. The awesomeness that is Titanus shows up and lays the smackdown on Cyclopsis. It essentially BEHEADS him and that's the end of that fight!
Or is it? It's not! Rita sinks Titanus! She opens up a big hole in the ground and Titanus goes down! The MegaDragonZord tries to save him by grabbing him 'round his head and tugging, but Rita zaps them with her wand and Titanus is engulfed. It's really really sad. Poor Titanus, his little head poking out of the dirt while he sinks, crying in terror. Oh I could cry myself!
Rita summons Lokar and they know they're in trouble now. The Rangers, out of power, teleport back to the Command Center. Zordon tells them the residents of Angel Grove are safe in the alternate dimension, but they will be trapped there forever. Jason gets very emo and temporarily turns into Captain Obvious, stating that the Rangers are the only hope left for the residents of Angel Grove, but he look so wooby when he says it, I can't fault him for stating the obvious. Oh Jason, I just want to take you home and feed you cookies when you look like that. Zordon then basically tells them if they lose, the world is lost, and their friends and family will be trapped forever. No pressure or anything, though, right Zordon? Uh-huh.
We end with a To be continued.
That, dear readers, was an AWESOME episode.
List:
1 fish! Two episodes in a row we get only 1 fish.
Billy speak: "We can't allow him to gain a strategic advantage!"
A moment of silence, if you will, for Titanus.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Episode 36 - Birds of a Feather
Today on Power Rangers we get our first real taste of All-About-Tommy syndrome, in which an episode that looks like it will be about one character turns out to be about another character. Of course, since Tommy lost his powers last time, it isn't actually about him. This episode just looked like it was going to be all about Zack, but then turned out to be mostly about Jason. Which is still good, it's just that we want Zack to have more episodes! He is awesome!
While the credits were rolling, we actually had a discussion about why we think Rita is awesome. In the words of Queenriley, it is because she's in a cramped little space dumpster for 10,000 years and the first thing she wants to do is conquer Earth... not have a pee, not have a drink, not even have a cheeseburger. She just wants to rule the world. Seriously, Rita, we salute you and your total awesomeness.
The actual episode opens with a martial arts lesson, and miracle of miracles it isn't Jason teaching the class! No, they've remembered that Zack has his own style, and we get to see Zack teach a hip hop kido lesson. Not in the park this time, either! He's been promoted to being allowed to teach in the Youth Center. Anyway, Zack and his inappropriately young friend, Cameron, do a kata for the class, and then Cameron falls down. Zack tells him not to worry, and if he just concentrates he'll be great at the competition coming up.
Of course, it wouldn't be time for an encouraging moment between a teacher and a student without Bulk and Skull showing up to try and destroy a child's self-esteem. They have apparently sponsored their own kid in the competition, the appropriately named Biff. Biff shows off, and we're too busy being surprised that actual parents are in the background to pick up their kids from karate class. We didn't think such a thing was possible in Angel Grove.
At the competition, the first thing you need to do is to pay attention to the Rangers' outfits. This isn't just us on another making fun of the fashion thing, although we do enjoy that. It isn't even that Zack has apparently moved on from Jason to Billy (probably because Jason dumped him for Tommy) based on the color of his pants. No, it's that they are going to randomly change clothing in a few minutes and it makes no sense.
Just as the competition is about to start, Jason's communicator goes off. They all need to go fight a monster. Seriously, I'm amazed that Rita didn't pull things like this more often. She could easily ruin them if she made them cut out of tests and competitions and things. And you know, I'm not quite sure why they need Zack immediately anyway. Let him watch his student, for real. They can call him if they desperately need him. That's what they do with Kim later on!
So they go fight the Hatchosaurus and we're barely 5 and a half minutes into the episode, and this is going to be really high fight, isn't it. Jason also summons the dragonzord, since he has Tommy's powers now. And they blow up the monster. There's still 12 minutes left, how does this happen? So we go back to the command center, and seriously, they have all changed outfits.
Rita has apparently devised a spell where she can weaken the Dragonzord. No idea why she never did this before, but apparently it can drain energy from the Zord and also make its arms not move? In other words, she put a giant ring of energy around it or something.
Back at the Command Center, we find out that the reason that the monster is not yet destroyed is because they have to blow up the heart computer, aka the cardiotron. The show gets points for the name, I'll give it that much. They morph again and summon the Megazord to fight the Hatchosaurus, and promptly get beaten up. To help, they summon Dragonzord, but it's taking a while to show up, and they manage to blow up the monster again anyway, but it almost immediately reforms. Also, the Dragonzord falls down without hitting any buildings. We're wondering if the city planners left space for a monster fight or something.
Jason comes up with the brilliant idea of jumping down the monster's throat so he can fight the cardiotron inside it. The cardiotron is pretty creepy (it actually reminds us of a Dalek and has a lot of tentacles. Seriously, Jason, you have a sword. Why are you not slashing at the tentacles? Are you into tentacles? Instead, he just summons Dragonzord repeatedly, but it's still weak, so he summons the Shield of Cheap Bling and Dragonzord wakes up, and the Cardiotron is destroyed and they summon Titanus and hey, everything is fine now!
The next day (supposedly, we're not quite sure how it's the next day especially when they're still wearing the same outfits they change into earlier) they find out that Cameron has made it to the highest martial arts level. Or as normal people call it, the finals. He's up against Biff. surprise, surprise. Zack apologizes to Cameron, who forgives him, and then Cameron wins the competition. Biff tells Bulk and Skull he's getting a new coach, because he doesn't cheat. We like that kid. He looks kinda like the kid who plays young!Rocky.
Anyway, Cameron tells Zack that it's all okay because as long as he made Zack proud, and wow, that line comes off as so inappropriate. Oh, Power Rangers. You worry us, because we know where the inappropriately young friends thing is going. But don't worry, we love you anyway.
Fish: 3. And this is mainly the fault of the wardrobe department. We literally spent more time trying to figure out why they had changed clothes than anything else. Fail, wardrobe department!
Billy speak: "We must disconnect the cardiotron"
"Something is interfering with his mega receptors"
While the credits were rolling, we actually had a discussion about why we think Rita is awesome. In the words of Queenriley, it is because she's in a cramped little space dumpster for 10,000 years and the first thing she wants to do is conquer Earth... not have a pee, not have a drink, not even have a cheeseburger. She just wants to rule the world. Seriously, Rita, we salute you and your total awesomeness.
The actual episode opens with a martial arts lesson, and miracle of miracles it isn't Jason teaching the class! No, they've remembered that Zack has his own style, and we get to see Zack teach a hip hop kido lesson. Not in the park this time, either! He's been promoted to being allowed to teach in the Youth Center. Anyway, Zack and his inappropriately young friend, Cameron, do a kata for the class, and then Cameron falls down. Zack tells him not to worry, and if he just concentrates he'll be great at the competition coming up.
Of course, it wouldn't be time for an encouraging moment between a teacher and a student without Bulk and Skull showing up to try and destroy a child's self-esteem. They have apparently sponsored their own kid in the competition, the appropriately named Biff. Biff shows off, and we're too busy being surprised that actual parents are in the background to pick up their kids from karate class. We didn't think such a thing was possible in Angel Grove.
At the competition, the first thing you need to do is to pay attention to the Rangers' outfits. This isn't just us on another making fun of the fashion thing, although we do enjoy that. It isn't even that Zack has apparently moved on from Jason to Billy (probably because Jason dumped him for Tommy) based on the color of his pants. No, it's that they are going to randomly change clothing in a few minutes and it makes no sense.
Just as the competition is about to start, Jason's communicator goes off. They all need to go fight a monster. Seriously, I'm amazed that Rita didn't pull things like this more often. She could easily ruin them if she made them cut out of tests and competitions and things. And you know, I'm not quite sure why they need Zack immediately anyway. Let him watch his student, for real. They can call him if they desperately need him. That's what they do with Kim later on!
So they go fight the Hatchosaurus and we're barely 5 and a half minutes into the episode, and this is going to be really high fight, isn't it. Jason also summons the dragonzord, since he has Tommy's powers now. And they blow up the monster. There's still 12 minutes left, how does this happen? So we go back to the command center, and seriously, they have all changed outfits.
Rita has apparently devised a spell where she can weaken the Dragonzord. No idea why she never did this before, but apparently it can drain energy from the Zord and also make its arms not move? In other words, she put a giant ring of energy around it or something.
Back at the Command Center, we find out that the reason that the monster is not yet destroyed is because they have to blow up the heart computer, aka the cardiotron. The show gets points for the name, I'll give it that much. They morph again and summon the Megazord to fight the Hatchosaurus, and promptly get beaten up. To help, they summon Dragonzord, but it's taking a while to show up, and they manage to blow up the monster again anyway, but it almost immediately reforms. Also, the Dragonzord falls down without hitting any buildings. We're wondering if the city planners left space for a monster fight or something.
Jason comes up with the brilliant idea of jumping down the monster's throat so he can fight the cardiotron inside it. The cardiotron is pretty creepy (it actually reminds us of a Dalek and has a lot of tentacles. Seriously, Jason, you have a sword. Why are you not slashing at the tentacles? Are you into tentacles? Instead, he just summons Dragonzord repeatedly, but it's still weak, so he summons the Shield of Cheap Bling and Dragonzord wakes up, and the Cardiotron is destroyed and they summon Titanus and hey, everything is fine now!
The next day (supposedly, we're not quite sure how it's the next day especially when they're still wearing the same outfits they change into earlier) they find out that Cameron has made it to the highest martial arts level. Or as normal people call it, the finals. He's up against Biff. surprise, surprise. Zack apologizes to Cameron, who forgives him, and then Cameron wins the competition. Biff tells Bulk and Skull he's getting a new coach, because he doesn't cheat. We like that kid. He looks kinda like the kid who plays young!Rocky.
Anyway, Cameron tells Zack that it's all okay because as long as he made Zack proud, and wow, that line comes off as so inappropriate. Oh, Power Rangers. You worry us, because we know where the inappropriately young friends thing is going. But don't worry, we love you anyway.
Fish: 3. And this is mainly the fault of the wardrobe department. We literally spent more time trying to figure out why they had changed clothes than anything else. Fail, wardrobe department!
Billy speak: "We must disconnect the cardiotron"
"Something is interfering with his mega receptors"
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Episode 35- The Green Candle Part 2
Today on Power Rangers, Tommy tries his hand at being the Emo Ranger. He fails miserably, leaving that spot open to be claimed (quite successfully) at a later date.
We left off with a candle made of "special" wax burning down in Rita's Dark Dimension. It's going to steal Tommy's powers when it burns down completely. Nobody has thought to just blow it out.
In a matter of about five seconds of trying, Alpha has located the door to the dark dimension. Billy has also managed to somehow, in the span of said five seconds, build a machine that will create a portal that will take them through said door of the dark dimension. Okay then.
Jason and Tommy argue over who gets to go and Tommy eventually caves. There's a whole spiel about trusting your friends and stuff, but the dialogue is so awkward and the acting is so bad, I really kind of just glazed over during that part as a coping mechanism. Tommy wishes his friends good luck (after they've left, mind) in the most insanely melodramatic line of the series up to this point. Emo Ranger attempt? Emo Ranger FAIL.
So the five original rangers teleport to the park in the exact spot the putties kidnapped Tommy last time. Billy's machine is a molecular tracking machine and will follow the path of the molecules of the putties. Or something. It's ridiculous looking and works just like the third gym in Pokemon. Seriously.
Before they can activate it, however, Bulk and Skull climb an insanely steep hill that was never there before and has the most ridiculous sideways plants (seriously, sideways). They taunt the rangers a bit and even Billy tries to get in on the action. Zack gets Bulk to charge straight into a trash can which then rolls down said steep hill and Skull, in a moment of adorable sweetness, goes tumbling after of his own free will. He helps Bulk out of the trash can with great care and concern. Dawwwwww.
Meanwhile, Tommy has another over-dramatic conversation with Zordon about how he knows Jason will save him, except Jason totally won't. Emo Ranger attempt 2, Emo Ranger FAIL 2. He then has to go fight the Cyclops monster all on his very own because the original team mission is too important to pull them away... and the whole Cyclops thing is totally a distraction anyway. Tommy's use of 'git' instead of 'get' really irritated me this scene, but all is forgiven when he says "It's Morphin Time!" because he says it with such unbridled enthusiasm. He's much better at the call than Jason.
So Tommy calls on the DragonZord and fights Cyclops, who has taken the form of the MegaZord. It's mostly just filler, but Cyclops at one point shoots a laser out of his eye and we squee like the hopeless fangirls we are. If only it had been red...
Anyway, back at the park, Billy gets his invention all lined up, they activate it, and Jason goes through. Alas, he finds Goldar guarding the Green Candle which sparks ominously. They have a bit of a fight and really, we think Goldar just wants to grope Jason inappropriately. Jason may not be entirely against this because, well, he doesn't even try to morph... he just kind of dances around.
I'm curious here, though. The portal closed behind him so how is he supposed to get back? When the scene goes back to the park, the others are just standing around with inactive poles of whatever it is that Billy invented. And they expect Jason to come back how? I don't even know, but they have to reactivate it so Zack can go through and rescue his boyfriend because Jason is taking way too long to just grab a candle and run. Zack tells Jason they have the choice of getting the candle and saving Tommy's powers, or going back and fighting to save Tommy's life. Goldar just... lets them go? What? I don't... what? He lets them choose and just... walk out. Um... FAIL!
The original five morph and join the battle. They immediately summon Titanus to form the UltraZord, knock out Cyclops, and then teleport to... the Command Center? What? Why not just go back to the park to go through the portal to get the candle? I don't even know.
But it doesn't matter because mid-fight the candle burnt out anyway. Tommy is still morphed, however. The candle, tied to his POWERS, is burnt OUT and Tommy is STILL a ranger. Zordon convinces Tommy to surrender his power coin to Jason as it's apparently the only way to save himself. Jason then acquires the gold foamy-looking shield and Dragon Dagger. And Tommy is STILL MORPHED. What the hell, show? No really? You've driven me to foul language, show, and that just saddens me. So the POWER that was supposed to be GONE when the candle BURNT OUT is now with Jason. And it doesn't go away and it doesn't turn him evil and it doesn't do anything. And Tommy, finally, force demorphs. It's about damn time. He attempts to be Emo Ranger again and, because he desperately needs some acting lessons, FAILS yet again. Attempt and fail 3.
About one day later, Kim finds Tommy in the park. Tommy is showing off some of his moves, per usual. They have a very sad and emotional (Emo Ranger attempt 4, Emo Ranger FAIL 4) conversation in which we discover everybody misses Tommy a lot. Kim especially misses him. Uh, guys? It's been, like, a day. You go to the same school. You have ALL the same classes (as it's not like his schedule changed as soon as he lost his power or anything). HOW IN THE WORLD can you miss him THAT much???
Tommy is overcome with emotion. He leans in, kisses Kimberly in the first on-the-lips-intended-for-romance kiss of the show, and then they act all happy and relieved. He asks her to the dance, she freaks him out by turning away, and then says of course she will. It's just painful to watch.
List time!
Fish: 5. FIVE fish. We gave it five because that's our max limit, but really this episode deserved 87.
No Billy speak
Nobody covered in food either, though Bulk ends up rolling down a hill in a trash can.
We left off with a candle made of "special" wax burning down in Rita's Dark Dimension. It's going to steal Tommy's powers when it burns down completely. Nobody has thought to just blow it out.
In a matter of about five seconds of trying, Alpha has located the door to the dark dimension. Billy has also managed to somehow, in the span of said five seconds, build a machine that will create a portal that will take them through said door of the dark dimension. Okay then.
Jason and Tommy argue over who gets to go and Tommy eventually caves. There's a whole spiel about trusting your friends and stuff, but the dialogue is so awkward and the acting is so bad, I really kind of just glazed over during that part as a coping mechanism. Tommy wishes his friends good luck (after they've left, mind) in the most insanely melodramatic line of the series up to this point. Emo Ranger attempt? Emo Ranger FAIL.
So the five original rangers teleport to the park in the exact spot the putties kidnapped Tommy last time. Billy's machine is a molecular tracking machine and will follow the path of the molecules of the putties. Or something. It's ridiculous looking and works just like the third gym in Pokemon. Seriously.
Before they can activate it, however, Bulk and Skull climb an insanely steep hill that was never there before and has the most ridiculous sideways plants (seriously, sideways). They taunt the rangers a bit and even Billy tries to get in on the action. Zack gets Bulk to charge straight into a trash can which then rolls down said steep hill and Skull, in a moment of adorable sweetness, goes tumbling after of his own free will. He helps Bulk out of the trash can with great care and concern. Dawwwwww.
Meanwhile, Tommy has another over-dramatic conversation with Zordon about how he knows Jason will save him, except Jason totally won't. Emo Ranger attempt 2, Emo Ranger FAIL 2. He then has to go fight the Cyclops monster all on his very own because the original team mission is too important to pull them away... and the whole Cyclops thing is totally a distraction anyway. Tommy's use of 'git' instead of 'get' really irritated me this scene, but all is forgiven when he says "It's Morphin Time!" because he says it with such unbridled enthusiasm. He's much better at the call than Jason.
So Tommy calls on the DragonZord and fights Cyclops, who has taken the form of the MegaZord. It's mostly just filler, but Cyclops at one point shoots a laser out of his eye and we squee like the hopeless fangirls we are. If only it had been red...
Anyway, back at the park, Billy gets his invention all lined up, they activate it, and Jason goes through. Alas, he finds Goldar guarding the Green Candle which sparks ominously. They have a bit of a fight and really, we think Goldar just wants to grope Jason inappropriately. Jason may not be entirely against this because, well, he doesn't even try to morph... he just kind of dances around.
I'm curious here, though. The portal closed behind him so how is he supposed to get back? When the scene goes back to the park, the others are just standing around with inactive poles of whatever it is that Billy invented. And they expect Jason to come back how? I don't even know, but they have to reactivate it so Zack can go through and rescue his boyfriend because Jason is taking way too long to just grab a candle and run. Zack tells Jason they have the choice of getting the candle and saving Tommy's powers, or going back and fighting to save Tommy's life. Goldar just... lets them go? What? I don't... what? He lets them choose and just... walk out. Um... FAIL!
The original five morph and join the battle. They immediately summon Titanus to form the UltraZord, knock out Cyclops, and then teleport to... the Command Center? What? Why not just go back to the park to go through the portal to get the candle? I don't even know.
But it doesn't matter because mid-fight the candle burnt out anyway. Tommy is still morphed, however. The candle, tied to his POWERS, is burnt OUT and Tommy is STILL a ranger. Zordon convinces Tommy to surrender his power coin to Jason as it's apparently the only way to save himself. Jason then acquires the gold foamy-looking shield and Dragon Dagger. And Tommy is STILL MORPHED. What the hell, show? No really? You've driven me to foul language, show, and that just saddens me. So the POWER that was supposed to be GONE when the candle BURNT OUT is now with Jason. And it doesn't go away and it doesn't turn him evil and it doesn't do anything. And Tommy, finally, force demorphs. It's about damn time. He attempts to be Emo Ranger again and, because he desperately needs some acting lessons, FAILS yet again. Attempt and fail 3.
About one day later, Kim finds Tommy in the park. Tommy is showing off some of his moves, per usual. They have a very sad and emotional (Emo Ranger attempt 4, Emo Ranger FAIL 4) conversation in which we discover everybody misses Tommy a lot. Kim especially misses him. Uh, guys? It's been, like, a day. You go to the same school. You have ALL the same classes (as it's not like his schedule changed as soon as he lost his power or anything). HOW IN THE WORLD can you miss him THAT much???
Tommy is overcome with emotion. He leans in, kisses Kimberly in the first on-the-lips-intended-for-romance kiss of the show, and then they act all happy and relieved. He asks her to the dance, she freaks him out by turning away, and then says of course she will. It's just painful to watch.
List time!
Fish: 5. FIVE fish. We gave it five because that's our max limit, but really this episode deserved 87.
No Billy speak
Nobody covered in food either, though Bulk ends up rolling down a hill in a trash can.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Episode 33- The Yolk's On You
I'd like to take a moment to thank the lovely ladies at Tweenage Wasteland for bringing this to our attention. It's a video and the point of interest starts about a minute in. Apparently one of the Disney Tweeny Bopper stars grew up watching Power Rangers and he totally geeks out about it. His name is Sterling Knight, which I hope is a stage name, because otherwise... well... did his parents really hope he'd grow up to work in a gay strip club? Seriously? Sterling Knight... of all the things to name your kid. Anyway, I don't know much about him other than he's twenty years old and looks like he's twelve, and he rants about the cast change in season two. And he thinks Tommy is awesome when he's evil and Saba was cool. So there you go. Power Rangers in the mainstream.
As for tonight's episode, well, they probably should have just called it Monsters Addicted to Drugs and been done with it. Instead they bogged it down with this whole superfluous plot about the rangers being in a talent show.
First we see Jason and Tommy walking down a hallway that looks like the hallway outside of the Youth Center. They enter a room that looks suspiciously like the Youth Center. Except a stage has been added. This is apparently the theatre of Angel Grove High. That looks JUST LIKE the Youth Center. And Ernie is there for some reason. They were really short on sets first season, yeah? Anyway, Jason looks as if he's been thoroughly... um... enjoyed by Tommy. Tommy regretfully informs him that he's forgotten their karate belts and must go back and get them so once again, off he runs. Alone. Through the park. This... isn't going to end well, is it?
Meanwhile, Finster creates a monster and sends it to Earth. Rita flips out because she didn't know about it and didn't authorize it. It's okay though! It's Rita's birthday and the monster is Finster's present to her. AWWWWWWW! So freaking adorable.
Tommy runs through the park, alone, and sure enough, it doesn't end well. After doing some random martial arts against the leaves of a tree, Tommy is attacked for real by putties! Four of them! Oh no, whatever will he do! Uh... get beaten, of course. Despite being the best martial artist in all of Angel Grove, he can't handle four putties. He ends up tied up, yet again, by a hanging net with one putty holding his communicator and another holding his morpher. We assume he lost so easily because he's overtired and distracted by having just made hot, manly love to Jason. It's really the only logical explanation.
And here we get to the real meat of the story. The monster, named Fang, is in search of his gooney bird eggs. He needs them, you see. Unfortunately, Squat and Baboo have eaten them all. Fang FLIPS OUT. He goes ballistic and starts yelling and fighting. Goldar tells him the Power Rangers have his eggs and he goes running off looking for his fix.
Back at the talent show that is being held in the not-the-Youth Center, Billy is wearing a cowboy hat (and I am TRAUMATIZED by it I tell you, traumatized) and Bulk and Skull are adorably punk. Principal Caplan yells at them a lot and then the rangers run out to the not-the-Youth-Center-Hallway and answer their communicators. They learn that Tommy is all tied up AGAIN and they have to morph and go fight a monster. I'm wondering why anybody is surprised by Tommy getting tied up by putties anymore. It seems to happen on a fairly regular basis. He really ought to learn to carry a pocketknife or something.
The Rangers try to fight the monster, but Goldar is still there and he blasts them with some fire something and throws them off a cliff. They weren't standing near a cliff, but Angel Grove geography makes no sense and off they go. In Jason's case, twice. Yes, Jason got thrown off the top of the cliff twice. He's just talented like that.
We see Tommy again and he's trying to get out of the net. I was bothered by it earlier, but now I just want to yell. He needs to get himself to his hairstylist. What he's sporting now? It's atrocious. I don't give a rat's tuches about hair and even I know that boy needs some serious help. It's so... distractingly bad.
Rita shows up on Earth and talks to Fang. She promises to get him some eggs if he'll do her bidding and he's going through such withdraw pains right now that he would lick her feet if she told him there was gooney bird egg goo on them. She makes him grown and reveals that he is secretly Wolverine! His adamantium claws grow with him and we squee with delight. Since Batman already exists in the Power Rangers universe, now it is Marvel's turn (which makes sense since Disney just bought Marvel) this totally works. The Rangers call their Zords, wonder where Tommy is, and after what seems to be the longest MegaZord sequence in existence, they attempt to fight Fang. Poor guy just wants his fix, however, and can't stop talking about those darn gooney bird eggs.
Tommy gets out of the net and shows up to the fight, late as usual, and they call Titanus just in time to stop Fang from destroying the dam. Where the dam came from, we don't know. Why they thought Fang wanted to destroy the dam, we also don't know. Fang just wants his gooney bird eggs. This whole mess could have been avoided if they'd just given him some eggs or checked him into rehab. It would have been much easier than summoning three zord combinations and then blowing him up. Which is what they had to do.
Back at the talent show they discuss the fight backstage with Ernie standing right there. Secret identity FAIL, Rangers! Anyway, Tommy and Jason do some coordinated martial arts and everybody oohs and aahs as if they've never seen Jason and Tommy do martial arts before. They walk off stage with Tommy's arm around Jason's waist. Luckily Zack doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps he's moved on. Bulk and Skull get a turn next. They do a pretty decent punk routine, and I actually really liked it, but the rest of the audience... doesn't. Surprise surprise. Kimberly claps for them, at least.
Overall, this was a pretty consistent episode! Only 2 fish for this one.
List time:
covered in food- Nobody!
Billy speak- none, but at least he didn't sing country *shudder*, so I can live without the Billy speak.
As for tonight's episode, well, they probably should have just called it Monsters Addicted to Drugs and been done with it. Instead they bogged it down with this whole superfluous plot about the rangers being in a talent show.
First we see Jason and Tommy walking down a hallway that looks like the hallway outside of the Youth Center. They enter a room that looks suspiciously like the Youth Center. Except a stage has been added. This is apparently the theatre of Angel Grove High. That looks JUST LIKE the Youth Center. And Ernie is there for some reason. They were really short on sets first season, yeah? Anyway, Jason looks as if he's been thoroughly... um... enjoyed by Tommy. Tommy regretfully informs him that he's forgotten their karate belts and must go back and get them so once again, off he runs. Alone. Through the park. This... isn't going to end well, is it?
Meanwhile, Finster creates a monster and sends it to Earth. Rita flips out because she didn't know about it and didn't authorize it. It's okay though! It's Rita's birthday and the monster is Finster's present to her. AWWWWWWW! So freaking adorable.
Tommy runs through the park, alone, and sure enough, it doesn't end well. After doing some random martial arts against the leaves of a tree, Tommy is attacked for real by putties! Four of them! Oh no, whatever will he do! Uh... get beaten, of course. Despite being the best martial artist in all of Angel Grove, he can't handle four putties. He ends up tied up, yet again, by a hanging net with one putty holding his communicator and another holding his morpher. We assume he lost so easily because he's overtired and distracted by having just made hot, manly love to Jason. It's really the only logical explanation.
And here we get to the real meat of the story. The monster, named Fang, is in search of his gooney bird eggs. He needs them, you see. Unfortunately, Squat and Baboo have eaten them all. Fang FLIPS OUT. He goes ballistic and starts yelling and fighting. Goldar tells him the Power Rangers have his eggs and he goes running off looking for his fix.
Back at the talent show that is being held in the not-the-Youth Center, Billy is wearing a cowboy hat (and I am TRAUMATIZED by it I tell you, traumatized) and Bulk and Skull are adorably punk. Principal Caplan yells at them a lot and then the rangers run out to the not-the-Youth-Center-Hallway and answer their communicators. They learn that Tommy is all tied up AGAIN and they have to morph and go fight a monster. I'm wondering why anybody is surprised by Tommy getting tied up by putties anymore. It seems to happen on a fairly regular basis. He really ought to learn to carry a pocketknife or something.
The Rangers try to fight the monster, but Goldar is still there and he blasts them with some fire something and throws them off a cliff. They weren't standing near a cliff, but Angel Grove geography makes no sense and off they go. In Jason's case, twice. Yes, Jason got thrown off the top of the cliff twice. He's just talented like that.
We see Tommy again and he's trying to get out of the net. I was bothered by it earlier, but now I just want to yell. He needs to get himself to his hairstylist. What he's sporting now? It's atrocious. I don't give a rat's tuches about hair and even I know that boy needs some serious help. It's so... distractingly bad.
Rita shows up on Earth and talks to Fang. She promises to get him some eggs if he'll do her bidding and he's going through such withdraw pains right now that he would lick her feet if she told him there was gooney bird egg goo on them. She makes him grown and reveals that he is secretly Wolverine! His adamantium claws grow with him and we squee with delight. Since Batman already exists in the Power Rangers universe, now it is Marvel's turn (which makes sense since Disney just bought Marvel) this totally works. The Rangers call their Zords, wonder where Tommy is, and after what seems to be the longest MegaZord sequence in existence, they attempt to fight Fang. Poor guy just wants his fix, however, and can't stop talking about those darn gooney bird eggs.
Tommy gets out of the net and shows up to the fight, late as usual, and they call Titanus just in time to stop Fang from destroying the dam. Where the dam came from, we don't know. Why they thought Fang wanted to destroy the dam, we also don't know. Fang just wants his gooney bird eggs. This whole mess could have been avoided if they'd just given him some eggs or checked him into rehab. It would have been much easier than summoning three zord combinations and then blowing him up. Which is what they had to do.
Back at the talent show they discuss the fight backstage with Ernie standing right there. Secret identity FAIL, Rangers! Anyway, Tommy and Jason do some coordinated martial arts and everybody oohs and aahs as if they've never seen Jason and Tommy do martial arts before. They walk off stage with Tommy's arm around Jason's waist. Luckily Zack doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps he's moved on. Bulk and Skull get a turn next. They do a pretty decent punk routine, and I actually really liked it, but the rest of the audience... doesn't. Surprise surprise. Kimberly claps for them, at least.
Overall, this was a pretty consistent episode! Only 2 fish for this one.
List time:
covered in food- Nobody!
Billy speak- none, but at least he didn't sing country *shudder*, so I can live without the Billy speak.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Episode 31- Calamity Kimberly
Well I have my beers all settled here beside me and I'm ready to start this episode. It's not one of my favourites, never has been. Thank you, Mr. Guinness, for helping me get through it.
We start off in a ginormous bedroom. I've never seen master bedrooms this big, nevermind second bedrooms. It's also decorated like a hotel from the 1950's. This is definitely not a teenagers bedroom.
Kim doesn't want to get up with the alarm and manages to break her lamp and then fall out of bed while trying to turn it off. She is horrified by her bad hair and I just want to point her to the shower and tell her about this magical thing called water and shampoo. It gets rid of bed head! Fantastic invention, that.
The day turns out rainy and she breaks a mirror. Meanwhile, Rita is stalking the rangers again and thinks now would be a good time to go after Kim, since she's having a bad day and all.
At school, Kim's umbrella has broken so she's soaking wet and she got mud all over her pep rally plans. I was unaware there were planning stages to pep rallies, but then, I never attended them myself, choosing to hide in the theater or library instead. Kim's worried Tommy won't find her attractive and I can't say I've ever met a straight man that didn't like seeing hot young women in wet clothing. Just saying, is all.
Bulk and Skull tease her a little and Tommy tells them to stop. Bulk teases him instead and Tommy pushes Bulk onto a wet floor, sends him sliding through dirty mop water, and then throws him into the mop bucket. Tommy actually planned this, taking in where the spilled mop water and bucket were and then positioning himself to throw Bulk in there. That was HORRIBLE and far worse bullying than calling Tommy a name.
Everybody laughs, however, and then Tommy sets up a date with Kim for after school. They meet at a surprisingly dry park (no mud, dry wooden picnic tables, does nothing hold water in Angel Grove?) and just when Tommy manages to make Kim feel a little better, she trips and he has to catch her. I suspect we're supposed to find this romantic. I just find it annoying.
Rita sends down the Samurai Fan Man to capture Kim in his unbreakable bottle and transport her to an alternate dimension. He manages to suck her in and the wind knocks Tommy out in the process. I don't know how, it just did. Meanwhile, trapped in the jug, Kimberly spends the next however long screaming Tommy's name. And so it begins.
Zordon, in another moment of Epic Win, was actually paying attention this time. He calls Jason, who answers his communicator in the middle of the Youth Center, and tells them to teleport immediately. Jason and Zack stop girl-fighting and they all teleport just outside the main entrance to the Youth Center. There is a very convenient lounge chair in the middle of the Command Center and Alpha teleports Tommy directly onto it. Apparently he has a concussion or something.
They share a bit of the most awkward dialogue EVER in existence and Jason unenthusiastically says "It's Morph... oh whatever, you know the rest." Well, okay, technically he said "It's Morphin Time." but it might as well have been "whatever" for all the feeling he put into it.
They go after the Samurai Fan Man at the Putty Patrol Restaurant which we have never heard of and will never hear of again. Alas, too bad, it looked like a fun place to hang out. They get blown away by the Fan Man, however, and Alpha reverses their teleportation direction. Wha??? I'm lost.
The only cool thing about this fight is we get to see Giant Goldar take on all the Zords individually. That was awesome. But it fails because the Fan Man is there and somehow beats the crap out of them. With his fan. Tommy is somehow roused from his groaning, concussed state and insists on morphing to help, but DragonZord gets blown away too. They call on Titanus, manage to break open the unbreakable jar, set Kimberly free, form the UltraZord, and then... win the fight pretty much instantly.
Back at Billy's garage, which is apparently the happening place to be since they all spend so much time there, Billy is covered in grease and working on the RadBug. The others are hanging out inside his garage and watching an old television. Mr. Reporter Guy starts a story on Who Are the Power Rangers and Kim reveals she is secretly Jubilee by blowing up the television. Everybody laughs. The end.
List time:
Covered in food? Nobody
Billy Speak? None
Fish? 3.5 for being more boring than anything else
Beers consumed to get me through it? 2.5
We start off in a ginormous bedroom. I've never seen master bedrooms this big, nevermind second bedrooms. It's also decorated like a hotel from the 1950's. This is definitely not a teenagers bedroom.
Kim doesn't want to get up with the alarm and manages to break her lamp and then fall out of bed while trying to turn it off. She is horrified by her bad hair and I just want to point her to the shower and tell her about this magical thing called water and shampoo. It gets rid of bed head! Fantastic invention, that.
The day turns out rainy and she breaks a mirror. Meanwhile, Rita is stalking the rangers again and thinks now would be a good time to go after Kim, since she's having a bad day and all.
At school, Kim's umbrella has broken so she's soaking wet and she got mud all over her pep rally plans. I was unaware there were planning stages to pep rallies, but then, I never attended them myself, choosing to hide in the theater or library instead. Kim's worried Tommy won't find her attractive and I can't say I've ever met a straight man that didn't like seeing hot young women in wet clothing. Just saying, is all.
Bulk and Skull tease her a little and Tommy tells them to stop. Bulk teases him instead and Tommy pushes Bulk onto a wet floor, sends him sliding through dirty mop water, and then throws him into the mop bucket. Tommy actually planned this, taking in where the spilled mop water and bucket were and then positioning himself to throw Bulk in there. That was HORRIBLE and far worse bullying than calling Tommy a name.
Everybody laughs, however, and then Tommy sets up a date with Kim for after school. They meet at a surprisingly dry park (no mud, dry wooden picnic tables, does nothing hold water in Angel Grove?) and just when Tommy manages to make Kim feel a little better, she trips and he has to catch her. I suspect we're supposed to find this romantic. I just find it annoying.
Rita sends down the Samurai Fan Man to capture Kim in his unbreakable bottle and transport her to an alternate dimension. He manages to suck her in and the wind knocks Tommy out in the process. I don't know how, it just did. Meanwhile, trapped in the jug, Kimberly spends the next however long screaming Tommy's name. And so it begins.
Zordon, in another moment of Epic Win, was actually paying attention this time. He calls Jason, who answers his communicator in the middle of the Youth Center, and tells them to teleport immediately. Jason and Zack stop girl-fighting and they all teleport just outside the main entrance to the Youth Center. There is a very convenient lounge chair in the middle of the Command Center and Alpha teleports Tommy directly onto it. Apparently he has a concussion or something.
They share a bit of the most awkward dialogue EVER in existence and Jason unenthusiastically says "It's Morph... oh whatever, you know the rest." Well, okay, technically he said "It's Morphin Time." but it might as well have been "whatever" for all the feeling he put into it.
They go after the Samurai Fan Man at the Putty Patrol Restaurant which we have never heard of and will never hear of again. Alas, too bad, it looked like a fun place to hang out. They get blown away by the Fan Man, however, and Alpha reverses their teleportation direction. Wha??? I'm lost.
The only cool thing about this fight is we get to see Giant Goldar take on all the Zords individually. That was awesome. But it fails because the Fan Man is there and somehow beats the crap out of them. With his fan. Tommy is somehow roused from his groaning, concussed state and insists on morphing to help, but DragonZord gets blown away too. They call on Titanus, manage to break open the unbreakable jar, set Kimberly free, form the UltraZord, and then... win the fight pretty much instantly.
Back at Billy's garage, which is apparently the happening place to be since they all spend so much time there, Billy is covered in grease and working on the RadBug. The others are hanging out inside his garage and watching an old television. Mr. Reporter Guy starts a story on Who Are the Power Rangers and Kim reveals she is secretly Jubilee by blowing up the television. Everybody laughs. The end.
List time:
Covered in food? Nobody
Billy Speak? None
Fish? 3.5 for being more boring than anything else
Beers consumed to get me through it? 2.5
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Episode 29- Wheel of Misfortune
Oh this was just painful to watch. Really really painful. It would have been easier to get through it with beer, but alas, we're out.
This episode starts with a play rehearsal. In a classroom. With some props and costumes already. So it's a dress rehearsal, except they're not on a stage. There are no stagehands, no set decorators working away on the backdrops, not even a drama teacher! The drama student in me weeps with everything that is wrong with this episode.
So Kimberly is playing Nameless Poor Maiden. Jason is the evil king making her spin straw into gold. Bulk is Rumpelstiltskin. Billy is the director. Skull is some kind of jester. The rest have no part. Principal Caplan is in charge of the kids... I guess he's the drama teacher too? I just... oh this is bad.
Bulk plays around too much with the props and breaks the spinning wheel. Kim freaks out because it belongs to her grandmother and it's an antique. Uh... then why did you bring it to school to be used as a prop, Kim??? Seriously? At least Bulk, who had been mean, had the tact to look as if he felt bad for breaking it.
She freaks out and whines to Ernie at the Youth Center. Tommy says he can fix the spinning wheel. Sure he can. All teenage boys are well versed in the operations of antique spinning wheels. *sigh* They go back to the school and discover it's missing. Kim freaks out again and they rush to the Youth Center to ask if anyone has seen it. Uh... the Youth Center? Didn't they think to ask around at, I don't know, the SCHOOL? Where the spinning wheel was being kept? I guess not. Anyway, nobody has seen it and not once does Kim, Ms. this-earthquake-must-be-Rita's-doing, suspect Rita might have taken it. I shudder as half a season of character development just falls away before my very eyes.
At least while she's being mopey, the other Rangers come to cheer her up by mocking her affectionately and lovingly. It was really rather cute.
Tommy is alone in the park. This always means trouble. He is attacked by putties and after groping one, he stops mid fight to strike a pose. I just want to look at him and say "C'mon, do it, VOGUE.". He does this just about every fight. And every fight I get Madonna stuck in my head. Thanks, Tommy.
The putties capture him and tie him to a bridge. Meanwhile, Zordon contacts the Rangers to let them know Tommy has been captured. He was paying attention! He knew what was going on as it happened! He even knew about Kim's spinning wheel going missing! Zordon for the win! They find him tied to a tree, though, and we're not sure how the putties moved him there without him escaping, but whatever. They can't rescue him, however, because they have to go fight Goldar and Scorpina. Yay! Goldar and Scorpina! And Rita's on Earth! And makes them grow! Finally something that makes sense!
But wait, the Rangers must immediately call the Zords and then Jason in the Tyrannosaurus ends up tangled up in a net. The others just kind of stand around and watch while he yells at them to get away lest they be captured as well. They lament Tommy's absence because apparently they can't beat Goldar and Scorpina on their own, despite having done so pretty much all season thus far. Tommy escapes just in time, thank goodness, and joins the fight. They free Jason and his Zord and call on Titanus to form the UltraZord. The fight is almost over and they get attacked by the spinning wheel. Finally. They beat it pretty easily with the UltraZord and the fight is over.
The spinning wheel magically appears back in the classroom and it's all repaired and working fine again. We then get to see acting worse than even my four year old is capable of while Kim, Jason, and Bulk try to act out a very very messed up version of Rumpelstiltskin. Seriously, they all wish her good luck in the middle of the play, she calls Rumpelstiltskin by his name to get him to show up, and then promises to kiss him if he'll spin the three piles of straw into gold. Way to screw up the fairy tale, Power Rangers!
Bulk's pants split open in the middle of the play while his rear-end if facing the audience and every single adult in the room laughs at him. I'm disgusted. The end.
Lists-
Five fish, solid. Just... this was painful. Ridiculous and horribly painful.
No Billy speak. He was barely in this.
Covered in food: Bulk and Skull had some mini-food fight in the Youth Center at one point, but neither of them really got covered in anything.
Questions we want answered: Why, if they needed a spinning wheel, did they not have the Rangers do the play Sleeping Beauty? Seriously? It would have been so much more awesome if Rita had made the spinning wheel prick Tommy's finger and he fell asleep.
Also, TSB would like to see the Rangers doing karaoke to Vogue. I'm intrigued.
This episode starts with a play rehearsal. In a classroom. With some props and costumes already. So it's a dress rehearsal, except they're not on a stage. There are no stagehands, no set decorators working away on the backdrops, not even a drama teacher! The drama student in me weeps with everything that is wrong with this episode.
So Kimberly is playing Nameless Poor Maiden. Jason is the evil king making her spin straw into gold. Bulk is Rumpelstiltskin. Billy is the director. Skull is some kind of jester. The rest have no part. Principal Caplan is in charge of the kids... I guess he's the drama teacher too? I just... oh this is bad.
Bulk plays around too much with the props and breaks the spinning wheel. Kim freaks out because it belongs to her grandmother and it's an antique. Uh... then why did you bring it to school to be used as a prop, Kim??? Seriously? At least Bulk, who had been mean, had the tact to look as if he felt bad for breaking it.
She freaks out and whines to Ernie at the Youth Center. Tommy says he can fix the spinning wheel. Sure he can. All teenage boys are well versed in the operations of antique spinning wheels. *sigh* They go back to the school and discover it's missing. Kim freaks out again and they rush to the Youth Center to ask if anyone has seen it. Uh... the Youth Center? Didn't they think to ask around at, I don't know, the SCHOOL? Where the spinning wheel was being kept? I guess not. Anyway, nobody has seen it and not once does Kim, Ms. this-earthquake-must-be-Rita's-doing, suspect Rita might have taken it. I shudder as half a season of character development just falls away before my very eyes.
At least while she's being mopey, the other Rangers come to cheer her up by mocking her affectionately and lovingly. It was really rather cute.
Tommy is alone in the park. This always means trouble. He is attacked by putties and after groping one, he stops mid fight to strike a pose. I just want to look at him and say "C'mon, do it, VOGUE.". He does this just about every fight. And every fight I get Madonna stuck in my head. Thanks, Tommy.
The putties capture him and tie him to a bridge. Meanwhile, Zordon contacts the Rangers to let them know Tommy has been captured. He was paying attention! He knew what was going on as it happened! He even knew about Kim's spinning wheel going missing! Zordon for the win! They find him tied to a tree, though, and we're not sure how the putties moved him there without him escaping, but whatever. They can't rescue him, however, because they have to go fight Goldar and Scorpina. Yay! Goldar and Scorpina! And Rita's on Earth! And makes them grow! Finally something that makes sense!
But wait, the Rangers must immediately call the Zords and then Jason in the Tyrannosaurus ends up tangled up in a net. The others just kind of stand around and watch while he yells at them to get away lest they be captured as well. They lament Tommy's absence because apparently they can't beat Goldar and Scorpina on their own, despite having done so pretty much all season thus far. Tommy escapes just in time, thank goodness, and joins the fight. They free Jason and his Zord and call on Titanus to form the UltraZord. The fight is almost over and they get attacked by the spinning wheel. Finally. They beat it pretty easily with the UltraZord and the fight is over.
The spinning wheel magically appears back in the classroom and it's all repaired and working fine again. We then get to see acting worse than even my four year old is capable of while Kim, Jason, and Bulk try to act out a very very messed up version of Rumpelstiltskin. Seriously, they all wish her good luck in the middle of the play, she calls Rumpelstiltskin by his name to get him to show up, and then promises to kiss him if he'll spin the three piles of straw into gold. Way to screw up the fairy tale, Power Rangers!
Bulk's pants split open in the middle of the play while his rear-end if facing the audience and every single adult in the room laughs at him. I'm disgusted. The end.
Lists-
Five fish, solid. Just... this was painful. Ridiculous and horribly painful.
No Billy speak. He was barely in this.
Covered in food: Bulk and Skull had some mini-food fight in the Youth Center at one point, but neither of them really got covered in anything.
Questions we want answered: Why, if they needed a spinning wheel, did they not have the Rangers do the play Sleeping Beauty? Seriously? It would have been so much more awesome if Rita had made the spinning wheel prick Tommy's finger and he fell asleep.
Also, TSB would like to see the Rangers doing karaoke to Vogue. I'm intrigued.
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