Oh god this movie, guys. THIS MOVIE, GUYS. THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN ALL THE LAND.
So we start off with a really bad scrolling text Star Wars ripoff. Only this movie is the tiniest fraction of coolness that Star Wars is. And I'm even talking Episode 1 here, people, that's how much I hate this movie.
Lerigot is a wizard. He's actually the mutated child of an Ewok and a Monchichi. He is being chased by weird fish robot looking things. He manages to get himself to Earth, where he is stranded somewhere in Stereotype Land Africa. I keep hoping he'll run into Aisha. That would totally make this movie worthwhile. Alas, he meets a family of chimpanzee instead.
In Angel Grove, Rocky is trying Very Hard in a boxing ring while doing martial arts. He fails at fighting Tommy. He fails at fighting Adam. He fails at kicking a gloved fist, falls out of the ring, and messes up his back. THIS IS NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN. And that's not just my love for Rocky talking, that's "this actually cannot happen" talking.
Meanwhile, Kat and Tanya are on a bus full of children from the local orphanage. They are singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. NOBODY wants to sing that on a bus. No wonder Justin looks all sad and mopey. I'd be sad too if I were trapped on a bus full of people singing rounds of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Justin sees Rocky being hauled away in an ambulance. Justin now REALLY has a sad.
Then we meet Divatox. She is strong and powerful and awesome. Except I'd respect her a lot more if she wore more clothing. I mean, why does an amazing woman need to wear what amounts to underwear and a bit of string... while attempting to attract a man/monster/lava thing? Really? *sigh* I do not like any of her henchmen. This... is not going to be the best season ever.
Justin goes to visit Rocky in the hospital. He is flat in bed with a neck brace on and an IV. He is clearly high on morphine. He doesn't notice Justin and the rangers come in right behind him, so Justin hides under the bed. Instead of asking how Rocky is doing or trying to make him feel better, they have a conversation about Justin. Because they are BAD FRIENDS. Zordon contacts them and they teleport away. Justin witnesses it all.
Kat and Tommy are sent to Africa to find Lerigot using a Star Trek The Original Series tricorder (Billy totally created Starfleet). Why, I have no idea. Wouldn't Tanya be the better choice, since on Planet Angel Grove, Africa is a small continent where everybody knows everybody else and there is only one small grouping of animals, mainly lions, which is where Aisha is? WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN AISHA. Kat gets hurt, of course, after spending lots of time screaming for Tommy and flailing in the water... she was the Olympic diver, y'know, not Tommy! Oh show. Anyway, they get Lerigot and get him back to the Power Chamber. Moving on.
Somehow Bulk and Skull are back on the Police Force. No talk of France or leaving their fake!Daddy or anything. They managed to get captured by Divatox and her crew, but not before accidentally covering Lt. Stone in mustard. Their minds have been wiped. Bulk now thinks he's German and Skull thinks he's Spanish. It's... odd. Jason and Kim are scuba diving near Divatox's ship and they get captured too. We like to believe Kim went to comfort Jason after his power loss. Divatox uses Lerigot's wife, whom she has kidnapped, to send him a message. She shows Zordon that she has Lerigot's wife and child, plus Kim and Jason. Lerigot prepares to give himself up.
Zordon shows them the new Turbo Zords and gives them Turbo powers. Adam gets a minivan. I love minivans, and I'm not being sarcastic. I really actually love minivans. *is weird* So anyway, we get no mention of why the Zeo powers cannot be used. No mention of what happened to the Zeo powers. It's as if they just... disappeared. Adam asks about Rocky's Zord and is told it'll just stay there for awhile. They take off for a lost pirate ship. Once they get there, the blue Turbo Zord shows up. Out steps the new blue ranger, who is presented as THE NEW BLUE RANGER, and not the Temporary Replacement Blue Ranger. It's Justin. IT'S JUSTIN YOU GUYS. Tanya makes the exact face I made the first few times I watched this. It is the BEST FACE EVER. She is clearly confused and horrified at this new turn of events. WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK? I BLAME THE IMMENSE AMOUNT OF MORPHINE ROCKY WAS CLEARLY ON.
They see the pirate ship off in the distance. They manage to get to the pirate ship with their zords. They manage to get ON the pirate ship where Justin finds a box of treasure. They use their Turbo morphers to make the ship set sail. Meanwhile, Divatox has found them and launches living torpedoes at their ship. GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE.
To be continued in Part 2...
5 fish. Oh god, why isn't it over yet???? I hate this movie. I HATE THIS MOVIE.
Showing posts with label movie recap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie recap. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie- Part 2
Previously on Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie- Adam is a frog! That's... really probably the most important bit.
So now in Angel Grove Ivan Ooze is controlling the parents. He's making them dig up his ectomorphicons while he lazes about. In a very creepy and slightly terrifying scene, he makes one parent do a series of dances. The dancing in and of itself isn't scary, but the implications, that he can make them do literally ANYTHING, absolutely terrify me to my core.
Anyway, the dancing is interrupted by the return of the Snot!Tengus. They claim to have destroyed the Power Rangers, but Ooze sees right through them and the eventually confess to a horrible monster driving them away with noisy sticks. Ooze works out that it's Dulcea and he's sure this will ruin his plan, so he better hurry and get those ectomorphicons out of the ground. He blows up the Snot!Tengus in frustration.
Back on Phaedos, the rangers have waited for sunrise and are now ready to set out in search of the Great Power. They walk a lot and look very very pretty with their floppy hair.
Back in Angel Grove again, Fred has managed to sneak down into the pit. Nobody has seen him or seems to notice him, and he investigates what's going on. Sadly, nobody will respond to him because they are all zombiefied by the ooze. We're left wondering why Fred is the ONLY person trying to figure out what's going on. Seriously? Are there no childless adults in Angel Grove? Where the heck is everybody else???
On Phaedos, the rangers have stumbled upon a dinosaur graveyard, which is very symbolic what with giving up their dinosaur powers and moving on to other powers. Adam welcomes them to Jurassic Park and I squeel in delight (one of my top ten favourite movies EVER). Or, rather, they stumble upon what is supposed to be a dinosaur graveyard but these skeletons look nothing like any dinosaurs I know. The skeletons wake up and begin attacking. The main attacker is what might have been a Centrosaurus, Styracosaurus, or possibly a Monoclonius, only it has sharp teeth instead of the flat rows of an herbivore (which all actual ceratopsidae dinosaurs were). So... either the set designers really fail at biology or the dinosaurs of Phaedos were all carnivores. Anyway, it attacks the rangers. First Rocky goes after it to defend Aisha, but he gets knocked aside. Then it chases Kimberly into a ribcage and Tommy has to jump on it's back to get it away (while she screams her head off for Tommy, despite being so awesome in the first half of the movie). Biology fail abounds as Tommy wins by pulling out a single bone in the neck which causes the head to fall off and the entire rest of the skeleton to collapse. Billy makes a bad joke about biology finally paying off. Oh Billy, didn't you know? Biology pays off every single day of your life!
Back on Earth, Ivan is packing up all his mass produced snot, I mean ooze, to be shipped out for... we don't know what. His ectomorphicons are unearthed, he's pumpingsnot ooze through them to bring them to life, and he's basically done with the parents of Angel Grove. So he sends them away. To leap to their dooms. Which they start chanting in the best line of the movie.
Phaedos has a conveniently cut out path through the jungle for the rangers to follow to get to the Temple where they'll find the Great Power. Instead of some big huge quest or some awesome proving themselves worthy, they only have to fight four golems. You'd think there would be some kind of "facing worst fears" or something, but no. It's an easy fight, overall, and there are some great lines. Billy uses his brain, though he states the obvious a lot. Adam and Rocky fight in sync and do a great job defending each other as well as the other rangers. Tommy stands around primping or fixing his hair or something until Kim needs him and then suddenly he's in the action. He does make an awesome comment that has us both rolling and thinking Tommy really shouldn't be commenting on the mental aptitude of the golems. There is, however, massive physics fail.
They beat the golems, of course, in what is probably the easiest NEW power acquisition of the entire series. They get their powers, new zords, and go on about their merry way while Dulcea watches in owl form. Good job, Rangers.
Fred has found all the kids of Angel Grove partying and he manages to convince them something isn't right, despite their initial apathy to the whole missing-parents thing. Really kids? Obnoxious little brats, you all are. They decide they need to go stop the parents, thanks to Fred, and hopefully save the day.
Ivan is destroying the city with his ectomorphicons. The reporter is wondering where the rangers are as people run screaming and the mayor evacuates the city. The rangers then show up all morphed and ready to fight. They call on their zords and epic battles ensue, destroying an office building yet not denting the pavement even a little. Ooze proclaims his losing inconceivable and I think he's awesome, except he's no Vizzini! Frustrated, goos his way into one of the ectomorphicons and begins to fight the rangers himself. Tommy has to delay forming the Megazord to go bridge a gap in the monorail track so Fred and all the other kids can go save their parents from leaping to their DOOM.
While the rangers fight, the kids eventually reach their parents who are very slowly making their way to the edge of the pit where they dug up the ectomorphicons. Took them long enough to walk there, right? Anyway, Fred gets the kids to try to hold back their parents while he wrangles Bulk and Skull into helping him operate a lift that shoots water. He begins to spray down the parents hoping to stop them.
The rangers, meanwhile, have taken the fight with Ooze to outer space in the hopes of getting him in the path of theplot point comet mentioned at the beginning of the movie. They fly past the Rita and Zedd snowglobe and it prompts Rita and Zedd to cheer them on in beating Ivan Ooze. Aw, show! I love that bit. The rangers and Ivan struggle in a tight embrace, upon which Ivan asks if they've hugged their zords today, and then Aisha uses the Big Red Emergency Only button. To knee Ivan in the crotch? How in the world does that work? Or make any sense? I... don't get it. But it makes him let go of the MegaZord and he flies straight into the comet while the rangers fly back to Earth. Lamest ending to a villain ever. Ivan was way too cool to go out like that!
In Angel Grove the parents come out of their zombiefied stupor and begin hugging each other and the kids. Fred's dad finds him and pulls him from the heavy machinery in a heartwarming hug. Awwww. Bulk would also like a hug from Skull, but Skull only offers him a handshake. Poor Bulk, denied affection yet again.
The Rangers make haste to the Command Center where they fear it's too late to save Zordon. Tommy remembers that Dulcea said with the power, anything is possible, so they all circle Zordon and hold their hands up. Their power restores both the Command Center and Zordon's time warp tube, which saves Zordon's life. Or something. I... don't really know how it worked. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Not and smile and try to get past the sap.
Angel Grove has exhausted it's massive fireworks budget in a celebration of the rangers saving them yet again. Bulk and Skull are telling a large crowd of people how they saved the day, while Fred approaches our heroic teens and modestly accepts congratulations on helping out to save the day. Billy says he hears that Fred is in line to be a ranger himself one day, and Fred determines that he wants to be the Gold Ranger. We approve of this since, in our headcannon, Fred grows up to date Justin.
Credits start to roll but we get a mid-credit clip of Goldar sitting on Zedd's throne and proclaiming himself King Goldar. Until Rita and Zedd walk back in. Hehehehehe. And... more credits.
The end! I love this movie.
No full list this time, since it's the movie and all, but we HAVE to rate it on our scale of fish! This movie, much as I love it, gets 2 fish. It wasn't too bad and most discrepancies can be explained away since this IS an alternate universe.
So now in Angel Grove Ivan Ooze is controlling the parents. He's making them dig up his ectomorphicons while he lazes about. In a very creepy and slightly terrifying scene, he makes one parent do a series of dances. The dancing in and of itself isn't scary, but the implications, that he can make them do literally ANYTHING, absolutely terrify me to my core.
Anyway, the dancing is interrupted by the return of the Snot!Tengus. They claim to have destroyed the Power Rangers, but Ooze sees right through them and the eventually confess to a horrible monster driving them away with noisy sticks. Ooze works out that it's Dulcea and he's sure this will ruin his plan, so he better hurry and get those ectomorphicons out of the ground. He blows up the Snot!Tengus in frustration.
Back on Phaedos, the rangers have waited for sunrise and are now ready to set out in search of the Great Power. They walk a lot and look very very pretty with their floppy hair.
Back in Angel Grove again, Fred has managed to sneak down into the pit. Nobody has seen him or seems to notice him, and he investigates what's going on. Sadly, nobody will respond to him because they are all zombiefied by the ooze. We're left wondering why Fred is the ONLY person trying to figure out what's going on. Seriously? Are there no childless adults in Angel Grove? Where the heck is everybody else???
On Phaedos, the rangers have stumbled upon a dinosaur graveyard, which is very symbolic what with giving up their dinosaur powers and moving on to other powers. Adam welcomes them to Jurassic Park and I squeel in delight (one of my top ten favourite movies EVER). Or, rather, they stumble upon what is supposed to be a dinosaur graveyard but these skeletons look nothing like any dinosaurs I know. The skeletons wake up and begin attacking. The main attacker is what might have been a Centrosaurus, Styracosaurus, or possibly a Monoclonius, only it has sharp teeth instead of the flat rows of an herbivore (which all actual ceratopsidae dinosaurs were). So... either the set designers really fail at biology or the dinosaurs of Phaedos were all carnivores. Anyway, it attacks the rangers. First Rocky goes after it to defend Aisha, but he gets knocked aside. Then it chases Kimberly into a ribcage and Tommy has to jump on it's back to get it away (while she screams her head off for Tommy, despite being so awesome in the first half of the movie). Biology fail abounds as Tommy wins by pulling out a single bone in the neck which causes the head to fall off and the entire rest of the skeleton to collapse. Billy makes a bad joke about biology finally paying off. Oh Billy, didn't you know? Biology pays off every single day of your life!
Back on Earth, Ivan is packing up all his mass produced snot, I mean ooze, to be shipped out for... we don't know what. His ectomorphicons are unearthed, he's pumping
Phaedos has a conveniently cut out path through the jungle for the rangers to follow to get to the Temple where they'll find the Great Power. Instead of some big huge quest or some awesome proving themselves worthy, they only have to fight four golems. You'd think there would be some kind of "facing worst fears" or something, but no. It's an easy fight, overall, and there are some great lines. Billy uses his brain, though he states the obvious a lot. Adam and Rocky fight in sync and do a great job defending each other as well as the other rangers. Tommy stands around primping or fixing his hair or something until Kim needs him and then suddenly he's in the action. He does make an awesome comment that has us both rolling and thinking Tommy really shouldn't be commenting on the mental aptitude of the golems. There is, however, massive physics fail.
They beat the golems, of course, in what is probably the easiest NEW power acquisition of the entire series. They get their powers, new zords, and go on about their merry way while Dulcea watches in owl form. Good job, Rangers.
Fred has found all the kids of Angel Grove partying and he manages to convince them something isn't right, despite their initial apathy to the whole missing-parents thing. Really kids? Obnoxious little brats, you all are. They decide they need to go stop the parents, thanks to Fred, and hopefully save the day.
Ivan is destroying the city with his ectomorphicons. The reporter is wondering where the rangers are as people run screaming and the mayor evacuates the city. The rangers then show up all morphed and ready to fight. They call on their zords and epic battles ensue, destroying an office building yet not denting the pavement even a little. Ooze proclaims his losing inconceivable and I think he's awesome, except he's no Vizzini! Frustrated, goos his way into one of the ectomorphicons and begins to fight the rangers himself. Tommy has to delay forming the Megazord to go bridge a gap in the monorail track so Fred and all the other kids can go save their parents from leaping to their DOOM.
While the rangers fight, the kids eventually reach their parents who are very slowly making their way to the edge of the pit where they dug up the ectomorphicons. Took them long enough to walk there, right? Anyway, Fred gets the kids to try to hold back their parents while he wrangles Bulk and Skull into helping him operate a lift that shoots water. He begins to spray down the parents hoping to stop them.
The rangers, meanwhile, have taken the fight with Ooze to outer space in the hopes of getting him in the path of the
In Angel Grove the parents come out of their zombiefied stupor and begin hugging each other and the kids. Fred's dad finds him and pulls him from the heavy machinery in a heartwarming hug. Awwww. Bulk would also like a hug from Skull, but Skull only offers him a handshake. Poor Bulk, denied affection yet again.
The Rangers make haste to the Command Center where they fear it's too late to save Zordon. Tommy remembers that Dulcea said with the power, anything is possible, so they all circle Zordon and hold their hands up. Their power restores both the Command Center and Zordon's time warp tube, which saves Zordon's life. Or something. I... don't really know how it worked. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Not and smile and try to get past the sap.
Angel Grove has exhausted it's massive fireworks budget in a celebration of the rangers saving them yet again. Bulk and Skull are telling a large crowd of people how they saved the day, while Fred approaches our heroic teens and modestly accepts congratulations on helping out to save the day. Billy says he hears that Fred is in line to be a ranger himself one day, and Fred determines that he wants to be the Gold Ranger. We approve of this since, in our headcannon, Fred grows up to date Justin.
Credits start to roll but we get a mid-credit clip of Goldar sitting on Zedd's throne and proclaiming himself King Goldar. Until Rita and Zedd walk back in. Hehehehehe. And... more credits.
The end! I love this movie.
No full list this time, since it's the movie and all, but we HAVE to rate it on our scale of fish! This movie, much as I love it, gets 2 fish. It wasn't too bad and most discrepancies can be explained away since this IS an alternate universe.
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - The Movie - Part 1
I... don't think there are enough words to express how much I love this movie. I saw it in theatres. Twice. And I clearly remember forcing my parents to tape the Access Hollywood segment about the movie. (At least I think that was what it was? Whichever one of those shows covered it.) I owned this movie on VHS. It fills me with glee. So, yeah. (I later would use my little brother as an excuse to see Turbo in theatres, but we are not discussing that yet.)
ANYWAY, I have been looking forward to recapping this movie pretty much since we started the blog. And here we are.
The movie opens with some scrolling exposition text. While it is sadly not the most awesome text of exposition ever, it is still pretty cool! Dulcea narrates some basic history about how Zordon is in a time warp and he recruits teenagers to fight monsters.
CUT TO - a plane. Apparently the teens are all going sky diving for some unknown reason. To be fair, I think the whole scene is awesome. I have no idea when learned to sky dive, or who thought it would be a good idea to have Bulk and Skull go with them, and why there isn't an instructor.
Bulk and Skull prepare to jump when Kim points out that they don't have their parachutes on. *bangs head on wall* So, yeah. While they start preparing, it's time for the Ranger teens to jump. For some reason, Tommy is sky surfing. Because he's special. IDEK. This is the most completely gratuitous scene ever, but I so do not care. They do skydiving acrobatics! Honestly, I just love them. So, they all hit the target (although Adam and Rocky almost miss, which makes me sad) and we find out that the reason they're all sky diving is to try and raise money to save the observatory. The plot point comet will be passing over in 2 days.
The inappropriate young friend of the movie, Fred Kelman, makes fun of his dad for missing the target, and has a giant crush on Tommy. It's totally adorable, and I ship future!Fred/future!Justin. I want someone to write fic where they talk about their crush on Tommy from when they were 12 and how that helped them realize that they liked boys. Seriously, someone should get on this.
Also, they say that the Angel Grove team was 6 for 6, except... Bulk and Skull are on the team as well! So... yeah. Way to forget about them. (Aisha suggests that they landed on the roof trying to get to Ernie's dessert. We are... not pleased.)
Because it's me, I need to comment on the clothing. Like, seriously, I know that they all need to be color coded, but was it really necessary to put Tommy in all white? That might be the stupidest thing ever. He looks ridiculous. (I appreciate Kimberly's fanservice outfit.) And we'll be saying this a lot when we get to Zeo, but the costumer needs to cut it out with the sweatshirts. Who wears sweatshirts with shorts, anyway? I mean, besides college boys. So really, I think Aisha's outfit is ridiculous. But everyone has really nice arms, so there is that!
After sky diving, we guess that the Rangers decided it was time for a different activity, so they go roller blading to get lunch. At least they aren't chasing after a stroller this time. As they do complicated flips on rollerblades by a construction site, Bulk and Skull finally land. They have... amazing hats. And they try to get out of trouble for landing in the construction zone by claiming to be inspecting it. (Asking about proper foot protection. Oh, boys.) Luckily, they are saved, because the construction guys have uncovered a sewer cover! Which nobody has noticed before! And even though they live in Angel Grove, instead of calling the monster squad or something, they just decide to open it themselves. From an underground chamber, a giant purple Easter egg comes out. The foreman touches it (because that's totally a great idea) and he ends up being shocked by it.
Since we are in an alternate reality, Zordon is actually paying attention, and he summons the Rangers. It's still really light out, which will be relevant in a second. The new Command Center is pretty shiny, I've got to admit. We get some backstory on Ivan Ooze.
Back in Angel Grove, it's dark out. There's some warning tape up around the giant egg, and two security guards watching the egg. It's nice to know that Angel Grove has some sort of police force. However, this won't matter, because Rita and Zedd are showing up! Zedd is... a lot more menacing in this movie. His voice is different, and the brain pulsates, and it's really freaky. Goldar's face is different, and Squatt & Babboo have been replaced by a stupid pig. Zedd uses his staff to open up the egg, and Rita dips her finger in, yelling about how Zedd spent 2,000 years looking for a tub of snot. Then the giant egg filled with purple snot morphs into Ivan. (For the record, we both ship Rita/Ivan like crazy. Ivan is so awesome.) The important question is, what part of Ivan was Rita touching?
The villains have a conversation, and Zedd asks Ivan to destroy Zordon, which he agrees to do. Rita and Zedd leave, and Ooze starts to sniff the air. Apparently he can smell teenagers coming. And it's the Rangers, not some group of kids out at night.
So, even though they're teleporting in to investigate, the Rangers aren't morphed. They get caught by a security guard, and Kimberly asks if he's seen a Morphological being anywhere. Secret identities! You are... so very bad at them. Of course, the security guard is secretly a shape shifting Ivan anyway so their identities are mostly safe. Ivan creates his team of ooze monsters, and it's time for an unmorphed fight scene!
It's a pretty epic fight scene. Adam kicks a can and slams a door into a monster, Aisha flips two of them at a time, Kimberly does a lot of back flips, but these guys are too strong for them. The Rangers are all backed into a corner, and they decide it's time to morph.
Okay, let me get this out of the way. The movie costumes are stupid looking. The end.
By the time they've finished morphing, flipping, and posing, all the monsters have disappeared. They head into a building to go look for them, and we cut to the Command Center, where Zordon has discovered that Ooze is trying to enter the Command Center. Alpha says not to worry, because nobody can enter without a Power Coin, except for the times where someone has. Ooze soaks his way through the door.
He immediately starts in on Zordon, yelling about how uncomfortable it is to be locked up in an egg. Zordon might not know anything about being locked in an egg, but he's been stuck in a time warp for even longer! But Ooze will have none of it, and instead he starts ranting about the thing he has missed - the Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition!! The Brady Bunch Reunion! Then he totally destroys the Command Center. Ivan is totally more awesome and more effective than Rita and Zedd.
Back at the construction site, the Rangers go looking for the monsters. Aisha apparently has a really weak flashlight in her helmet, which does... nothing. Rocky also apparently has a scanner in his helmet, which... points out that there are monsters right in front of them. Cue fight scene!
It's a pretty cool fight. Adam and Rocky team up and rescue each other, there are some silly one liners, Kimberly gets a thunder whip, and for some reason Billy gets a Stega Stinger. Billy is the TRICERATOPS Ranger, not the STEGOSAURUS. (The Stegosaurus Ranger is totally everyone's OC from when they were 10, right? Or was that just me?) Adam.... doesn't get anything. Totally not fair. Tommy totally thinks he's Liu Kang. Just as they finish squashing all the ooze creatures, their powers fail.
Somehow they make it back to the Command Center and force the doors open. I know this is an AU, but I don't understand how Zordon's warp tube being destroyed leads to him dying, but whatever. If this was our universe, they would have just lost contact with him, but I guess this isn't our universe, so it instead causes Zordon to start dying. Or something. While the Rangers all make sad faces, Alpha tells them there's a way to still save Zordon, which they instantly agree to do. They have to go to the distant planet of Phaedos and seek the Great Power there. Even with Ivan on the loose, the Rangers go. Because they love Zordon a lot. ♥
On the moon, Rita is being a crazy stalker, and knows the Rangers are going after the Great Power. She starts yelling at Ivan, who flings purple ooze over her mouth. He then decides that he should be the leader, and traps Rita and Zedd in a snow globe. (I want that snow globe.) He creates some Tengu, and sends them to Phaedos to stop the Rangers from getting to the Great Power. He also plans to recruit the parents of Angel Grove to do something. Why the parents... I have no idea. I guess there are no childless adults in Angel Grove.
We are 33 minutes in, and the plot has just started. Wow.
Phaedos is really pretty. I wonder what part of Australia they were filming in? It vaguely reminds me of the opening beach scene from Grease. However, there's a skeleton on the beach, and it freaks them out. And then the Tengu show up. It's been almost 10 minutes since we've had a fight scene! I love the Tengu, and this is a pretty awesome fight. Kimberly does get captured, but at least she doesn't scream for Tommy. Yet. But the Rangers are getting their asses kicked, again.
Dulcea shows up to rescue them! Leaping off a cliff, she strips off her cloak and stands there in her fan service green bikini, and does some stick twirling. The sticks make a whistling noise, which bothers all of the Tengu, and they fly off. Dulcea then starts beating on Tommy when he tries to explain that they're going after the Great Power. Aisha is smarter than he is, and she invokes Zordon's name in an attempt to negotiate, and Dulcea changes her tune instantly, deciding to help them. She leads them to the ruins of the Ninjetti temple, and I desperately want fic about how the Ninjetti temple ended up in ruins. The only one I've found is Holding True (which is awesome). My point is, there should be more.
Back on Earth, Ivan dresses up as a creepy looking wizard, and passes out jars of purple ooze to children. The ooze will somehow brainwash the parents. Look, the plan makes no sense at all. But Fred takes a jar of the ooze, and brings it home. His father drives in (and the street is empty) and opens the jar. The second he touches the ooze, he is brainwashed. He goes outside not even 15 seconds later, and the street is filled with parents. How did all of the adults get brainwashed at the same time? how come nobody noticed? Why are the citizens of Angel Grove so filled with fail?
On Phaedos, Dulcea begins the ceremony, and in a burst of sparkles, the Rangers transform into their ninjetti outfits. Aisha is the bear, fierce and unstoppable. (This is totally true, Aisha is such a Mama Bear. Rocky is the ape, powerful and smart. (Take that, people who say Rocky isn't that smart! Although I'm surprised the smart thing didn't go to Billy.) Billy is instead the wolf, cunning and swift. Kimberly is the crane, and she only gets one trait. She's agile. Okay then!
BUT ADAM. Oh, Adam. He looks so disappointed. Because he is a FROG. And I love him and seriously, it is my favorite part of the movie. I'm so glad the director let JYB adlib that, because it is without a doubt the most memorable line of the movie. Anyway, Dulcea kisses Adam, and tells him he's a handsome prince, and then the universe wrote a million Adam/Dulcea fics. Which I don't actually ship, but I understand where it's coming from! Oh, ADAM. Anyway, basically that is my favorite scene from the movie, and the first PR icon I ever had. *points*
Oh, right. Tommy is the Falcon, the winged lord of the skies. Whatever that means. Dulcea tells them she isn't going with them, and then she turns herself into an owl. It's time.
TO BE CONTINUED.
ANYWAY, I have been looking forward to recapping this movie pretty much since we started the blog. And here we are.
The movie opens with some scrolling exposition text. While it is sadly not the most awesome text of exposition ever, it is still pretty cool! Dulcea narrates some basic history about how Zordon is in a time warp and he recruits teenagers to fight monsters.
CUT TO - a plane. Apparently the teens are all going sky diving for some unknown reason. To be fair, I think the whole scene is awesome. I have no idea when learned to sky dive, or who thought it would be a good idea to have Bulk and Skull go with them, and why there isn't an instructor.
Bulk and Skull prepare to jump when Kim points out that they don't have their parachutes on. *bangs head on wall* So, yeah. While they start preparing, it's time for the Ranger teens to jump. For some reason, Tommy is sky surfing. Because he's special. IDEK. This is the most completely gratuitous scene ever, but I so do not care. They do skydiving acrobatics! Honestly, I just love them. So, they all hit the target (although Adam and Rocky almost miss, which makes me sad) and we find out that the reason they're all sky diving is to try and raise money to save the observatory. The plot point comet will be passing over in 2 days.
The inappropriate young friend of the movie, Fred Kelman, makes fun of his dad for missing the target, and has a giant crush on Tommy. It's totally adorable, and I ship future!Fred/future!Justin. I want someone to write fic where they talk about their crush on Tommy from when they were 12 and how that helped them realize that they liked boys. Seriously, someone should get on this.
Also, they say that the Angel Grove team was 6 for 6, except... Bulk and Skull are on the team as well! So... yeah. Way to forget about them. (Aisha suggests that they landed on the roof trying to get to Ernie's dessert. We are... not pleased.)
Because it's me, I need to comment on the clothing. Like, seriously, I know that they all need to be color coded, but was it really necessary to put Tommy in all white? That might be the stupidest thing ever. He looks ridiculous. (I appreciate Kimberly's fanservice outfit.) And we'll be saying this a lot when we get to Zeo, but the costumer needs to cut it out with the sweatshirts. Who wears sweatshirts with shorts, anyway? I mean, besides college boys. So really, I think Aisha's outfit is ridiculous. But everyone has really nice arms, so there is that!
After sky diving, we guess that the Rangers decided it was time for a different activity, so they go roller blading to get lunch. At least they aren't chasing after a stroller this time. As they do complicated flips on rollerblades by a construction site, Bulk and Skull finally land. They have... amazing hats. And they try to get out of trouble for landing in the construction zone by claiming to be inspecting it. (Asking about proper foot protection. Oh, boys.) Luckily, they are saved, because the construction guys have uncovered a sewer cover! Which nobody has noticed before! And even though they live in Angel Grove, instead of calling the monster squad or something, they just decide to open it themselves. From an underground chamber, a giant purple Easter egg comes out. The foreman touches it (because that's totally a great idea) and he ends up being shocked by it.
Since we are in an alternate reality, Zordon is actually paying attention, and he summons the Rangers. It's still really light out, which will be relevant in a second. The new Command Center is pretty shiny, I've got to admit. We get some backstory on Ivan Ooze.
Back in Angel Grove, it's dark out. There's some warning tape up around the giant egg, and two security guards watching the egg. It's nice to know that Angel Grove has some sort of police force. However, this won't matter, because Rita and Zedd are showing up! Zedd is... a lot more menacing in this movie. His voice is different, and the brain pulsates, and it's really freaky. Goldar's face is different, and Squatt & Babboo have been replaced by a stupid pig. Zedd uses his staff to open up the egg, and Rita dips her finger in, yelling about how Zedd spent 2,000 years looking for a tub of snot. Then the giant egg filled with purple snot morphs into Ivan. (For the record, we both ship Rita/Ivan like crazy. Ivan is so awesome.) The important question is, what part of Ivan was Rita touching?
The villains have a conversation, and Zedd asks Ivan to destroy Zordon, which he agrees to do. Rita and Zedd leave, and Ooze starts to sniff the air. Apparently he can smell teenagers coming. And it's the Rangers, not some group of kids out at night.
So, even though they're teleporting in to investigate, the Rangers aren't morphed. They get caught by a security guard, and Kimberly asks if he's seen a Morphological being anywhere. Secret identities! You are... so very bad at them. Of course, the security guard is secretly a shape shifting Ivan anyway so their identities are mostly safe. Ivan creates his team of ooze monsters, and it's time for an unmorphed fight scene!
It's a pretty epic fight scene. Adam kicks a can and slams a door into a monster, Aisha flips two of them at a time, Kimberly does a lot of back flips, but these guys are too strong for them. The Rangers are all backed into a corner, and they decide it's time to morph.
Okay, let me get this out of the way. The movie costumes are stupid looking. The end.
By the time they've finished morphing, flipping, and posing, all the monsters have disappeared. They head into a building to go look for them, and we cut to the Command Center, where Zordon has discovered that Ooze is trying to enter the Command Center. Alpha says not to worry, because nobody can enter without a Power Coin, except for the times where someone has. Ooze soaks his way through the door.
He immediately starts in on Zordon, yelling about how uncomfortable it is to be locked up in an egg. Zordon might not know anything about being locked in an egg, but he's been stuck in a time warp for even longer! But Ooze will have none of it, and instead he starts ranting about the thing he has missed - the Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition!! The Brady Bunch Reunion! Then he totally destroys the Command Center. Ivan is totally more awesome and more effective than Rita and Zedd.
Back at the construction site, the Rangers go looking for the monsters. Aisha apparently has a really weak flashlight in her helmet, which does... nothing. Rocky also apparently has a scanner in his helmet, which... points out that there are monsters right in front of them. Cue fight scene!
It's a pretty cool fight. Adam and Rocky team up and rescue each other, there are some silly one liners, Kimberly gets a thunder whip, and for some reason Billy gets a Stega Stinger. Billy is the TRICERATOPS Ranger, not the STEGOSAURUS. (The Stegosaurus Ranger is totally everyone's OC from when they were 10, right? Or was that just me?) Adam.... doesn't get anything. Totally not fair. Tommy totally thinks he's Liu Kang. Just as they finish squashing all the ooze creatures, their powers fail.
Somehow they make it back to the Command Center and force the doors open. I know this is an AU, but I don't understand how Zordon's warp tube being destroyed leads to him dying, but whatever. If this was our universe, they would have just lost contact with him, but I guess this isn't our universe, so it instead causes Zordon to start dying. Or something. While the Rangers all make sad faces, Alpha tells them there's a way to still save Zordon, which they instantly agree to do. They have to go to the distant planet of Phaedos and seek the Great Power there. Even with Ivan on the loose, the Rangers go. Because they love Zordon a lot. ♥
On the moon, Rita is being a crazy stalker, and knows the Rangers are going after the Great Power. She starts yelling at Ivan, who flings purple ooze over her mouth. He then decides that he should be the leader, and traps Rita and Zedd in a snow globe. (I want that snow globe.) He creates some Tengu, and sends them to Phaedos to stop the Rangers from getting to the Great Power. He also plans to recruit the parents of Angel Grove to do something. Why the parents... I have no idea. I guess there are no childless adults in Angel Grove.
We are 33 minutes in, and the plot has just started. Wow.
Phaedos is really pretty. I wonder what part of Australia they were filming in? It vaguely reminds me of the opening beach scene from Grease. However, there's a skeleton on the beach, and it freaks them out. And then the Tengu show up. It's been almost 10 minutes since we've had a fight scene! I love the Tengu, and this is a pretty awesome fight. Kimberly does get captured, but at least she doesn't scream for Tommy. Yet. But the Rangers are getting their asses kicked, again.
Dulcea shows up to rescue them! Leaping off a cliff, she strips off her cloak and stands there in her fan service green bikini, and does some stick twirling. The sticks make a whistling noise, which bothers all of the Tengu, and they fly off. Dulcea then starts beating on Tommy when he tries to explain that they're going after the Great Power. Aisha is smarter than he is, and she invokes Zordon's name in an attempt to negotiate, and Dulcea changes her tune instantly, deciding to help them. She leads them to the ruins of the Ninjetti temple, and I desperately want fic about how the Ninjetti temple ended up in ruins. The only one I've found is Holding True (which is awesome). My point is, there should be more.
Back on Earth, Ivan dresses up as a creepy looking wizard, and passes out jars of purple ooze to children. The ooze will somehow brainwash the parents. Look, the plan makes no sense at all. But Fred takes a jar of the ooze, and brings it home. His father drives in (and the street is empty) and opens the jar. The second he touches the ooze, he is brainwashed. He goes outside not even 15 seconds later, and the street is filled with parents. How did all of the adults get brainwashed at the same time? how come nobody noticed? Why are the citizens of Angel Grove so filled with fail?
On Phaedos, Dulcea begins the ceremony, and in a burst of sparkles, the Rangers transform into their ninjetti outfits. Aisha is the bear, fierce and unstoppable. (This is totally true, Aisha is such a Mama Bear. Rocky is the ape, powerful and smart. (Take that, people who say Rocky isn't that smart! Although I'm surprised the smart thing didn't go to Billy.) Billy is instead the wolf, cunning and swift. Kimberly is the crane, and she only gets one trait. She's agile. Okay then!
BUT ADAM. Oh, Adam. He looks so disappointed. Because he is a FROG. And I love him and seriously, it is my favorite part of the movie. I'm so glad the director let JYB adlib that, because it is without a doubt the most memorable line of the movie. Anyway, Dulcea kisses Adam, and tells him he's a handsome prince, and then the universe wrote a million Adam/Dulcea fics. Which I don't actually ship, but I understand where it's coming from! Oh, ADAM. Anyway, basically that is my favorite scene from the movie, and the first PR icon I ever had. *points*
Oh, right. Tommy is the Falcon, the winged lord of the skies. Whatever that means. Dulcea tells them she isn't going with them, and then she turns herself into an owl. It's time.
TO BE CONTINUED.
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