Episode 170- There's No Business Like Snow Business Part 1

Okay, I don't like these episodes on the whole, but I forgot just how amazingly hilarious the first part of this three parter is!

We start off learning a professional snowboarder will be at a nearby (but not local) snow lodge signing autographs. Billy apparently likes snowboarding, while Ernie wouldn't be caught dead there. Tommy is lifting weights and he's halfway through his last set when he receives an OMINOUS letter from Kim. Why she mailed it to the Youth Center I have NO clue. But whatever. He doesn't want to stop so he asks Adam to read it to him. AND HE DOES.

Kim has found somebody new. She's breaking up with him. She no longer has feelings for him, but sees him as a brother... which makes up hope she's doing this because she's discovered she's a lesbian (or at the very least bisexual). She does it in a nice way, I suppose, though a phone call would have gone over better since she couldn't do it face to face. Tommy is all heartbroken. Tommy is heartbroken and goes to mope.

And we get the best BAD MONTAGE. Seriously, it's like the worst fanvid ever, complete with disturbingly cheesy BAD music. I LOVE IT SO.

Kat tries to cheer Tommy up, but it's of no use. So Billy has an idea. He's going to take them to the snow lodge so Tommy can go snowboarding. That should cheer him up! Maybe. I mean, his long time first serious girlfriend JUST dumped him... that HURTS. A LOT. Snowboarding can't really fix that. I never thought I'd say this, but I actually feel bad for Tommy! Will wonders never cease?

So at the snow lodge, Billy and Tommy are ready to get out in THE GLORIOUS SNOW, but Kat is still adjusting to the cold, so she hangs out with some hot chocolate for awhile. She sees some cogs, whom nobody else seems to realize aren't actual people, and so instead of using her communicator, she just follows them.

Meanwhile, Tommy's heartbreak has given Mondo an idea. He pulls out RoboCupid and sends her down to Angel Grove to put a spell on all the humans to make them fall in love with machines. She accidentally puts the spell on herself first and falls in love with Clank. It's WONDERFUL! I love that scene. She hugs him and snuggles him and I just love Monsters in Love.

She has to get to work, though, and she is efficient! Bulk and Skull both fall in love with the motorcycle! Ernie falls in love with his blender! Lt. Stone brings FLOWERS to an arcade game! People are in love with TOASTERS! FRAKIN TOASTERS!

Rocky, Tanya, and Adam know something is wrong. They're training for something (and boys sparring is PRETTY) but they don't know quite what's wrong. They aim to find out, but that's not really focused on much.

Back at the snow lodge, Professional Snowboarder Heather has convinced Tommy and Billy to go down the super-expert Widowmaker with her. They cave. Peer pressure is BAD, you guys. Kat, meanwhile, has chased the cogs down the same route. They have removed the CLIFF WARNING signs. Kat morphs and fights them, but they run off with the signs. She is able to warn Tommy and Billy, but Heather can't stop in time and goes over the cliff. Oh noes!

To Be Continued...

4 fish. It wasn't too bad, and while I'm ecstatic to have Billy back, I really wish he'd left the fish on Aquitar. The only thing that saved this episode was Lt. Stone bringing flowers to an arcade game and PEOPLE WERE IN LOVE WITH TOASTERS YOU GUYS! *snuggles it so*

Episode 171 - There's No Business Like Snow Business - Part 2

Previously, on As The Rangers Turn, Kimberly has left Tommy in a letter, possibly for another woman. Adam, Rocky and Tanya are off negotiating their own relationship drama, while Billy and Kat attempt to be the Worst Friends Ever and the people of Angel Grove are falling in love with Cyclons. Confused? You won't be after this episode of Power Rangers Zeo!

So, Professional Snowboard Who Is Really Bad At It is dangling precariously off the cliff. Tommy, Kat and Billy all stand around wondering what they should do, while the answer is obviously have Kat morph and grab her, since Heather didn't see Kat. While they stand around doing nothing, the other three Rangers call and are all "Hey, everyone is falling in love with toasters and blenders, get back here already" but they can't leave Heather, so Adam, Rocky and Tanya go fight on their own. A bunch of other people show up on the mountain top, even though this is supposed to be the hardest course, and they just give Tommy their jackets, so that he can then dangle precariously off the edge of the mountain so that Heather can grab hold. Why he just doesn't add his scarf or that thing on his head to the chain of jackets, I don't know. But they manage to bring Heather up safely, and then Tommy and Kat claim they have to go be somewhere, and they just teleport off.

WORST EXCUSES EVER. They are on top of a mountain, where are they supposed to be???

Anyway, the Rangers summon the defender wheel, and then they summon the Zords and they destroy Robo Cupid. So instead, Mondo decides he will unleash the power of Global Warming, by which we mean he's going to make Angel Grove really hot.

This episode is really boring, I almost want there to be more Tommy angsting over Kim.

Instead, Billy and Kat decide to be the Wost Friends Ever and start trying to set Tommy up with Heather, even though he is clearly not ready. (He just got dumped yesterday) and also, rebound relationships where one person is just trying to use the other to get over someone is REALLY SHITTY.

Back in Angel Grove, Adam and Rocky spar, and it is really pretty. *shallow* Why do we not see them spar more often? Then everyone complains that it's really hot, and yet Adam is wearing a sweatshirt. Does anyone else see a problem with this?

Anyway, Billy and Kat claim they have stuff to do and Tommy goes off with Heather. She takes him to a very picturesque part of the mountain, and they talk, and then Heather is all "So hey, your friends told me about Kimberly. Want to make out now?" Tommy, to his credit, is clearly not having it.

Also, we're assuming that the Billy and Kat constantly going off together is where that particular ship came from? We don't really get it.

So, Zordon calls and insists the Rangers come back to the Power Chamber immediately, because... we don't know? So Billy and Kat interrupt Heather and Tommy (who are about to go see a snowboarding movie, because heaven forbid Heather have any interests outside of snowboarding or Tommy) with a "Hey, we've got to go do an activity. Ready?" So Tommy stands Heather up, and she sulks. The end.

This episode was so boring. SO BORING.

Fish: 4. It would probably be 5, except Tommy's angst was actually pretty realistic, so we'll knock off a fish.

Episode 145 - I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger

Hey, it's Kim!

Wait, what is she doing here? Kim is in Florida! (Although it is really nice to see her. Kim!)

Ok, we know that a lot of fandom is under the impression that Kim has come back from Florida to spend Christmas with the Rangers, leading to approximately 87,000 Tommy/Kim fics from this time period and it's referenced in every single fic ever that deals with the breakup about how everything was fine at Christmas and she didn't mention any other guy, and you know what?

Because this episode takes place before she goes to Florida. Air date orders are weird but we had a long discussion (read: rant) about it during the episode, and we came to the decision that it is a flashback. It's still better than the other Christmas episodes. (One day, Queenriley and I will hang out, have a lot to drink and recap Alpha's Magical Christmas. This is not that day.)

So! It's time for the Holiday Special! Mostly Christmas, but they remember that Hannukah exists! (No other holidays are celebrated in Angel Grove.) The episode begins with Aisha conducting a choir of tiny children who can't lip sync, while Kimberly plays the guitar.

Somewhere in the background, Ashley is standing at a crafts table behind some guy.

The party at the youth center is apparently to help the underprivileged kids in Angel Grove. In Angel Grove speak, this apparently means that sometimes parents are too busy working to attend a kid's recital.

Tommy walks in with a poinsettia. Then he notices our inappropriately young friend of the week, so he asks her to help him. She can't act. She really can't act.

Kim has a sad. This is her first Christmas away from her mom, but she's really glad that she's staying with Aisha. Aww, they are such BFF, I love them.

Bulk and Skull come in, and we find out that they're going to be Santa and helper for the party. That is adorable! Bulk will make a great Santa. Although he seems to be seriously lacking in Christmas spirit.

Kim is trying to jump to hang up the mistletoe. Kim, honey, there's this thing called a ladder. We short people have to use one. Of course, that would prevent Tommy from coming to her rescue, and we can't have that. Tommy leans in to kiss Kim, when Skull walks by, interposes himself between Kim and Tommy, and kisses Kim on the cheek.

My Skull/Kim shipper heart is torn between thinking that is adorable and being really pissed at Skull for kissing her without permission. I am leaning towards being pissed at him. Not acceptable, Skull! Bulk also clearly considers kissing Kim, but a glare from Tommy stops him.

Up on the moon, Zedd is ranting about the evils of Christmas. Considering that Zedd has already been coded as Jewish once before, this has... really unfortunate implications. Especially when his plan to destroy Christmas apparently consists of sending evil dreidels down to brainwash children.

Hey, marketing department? If you want to start selling evil dreidels, I will totally buy one.

Plus, we get to find out that not only does Batman exist in Angel Grove, but so does Santa. (As Santa also exists in the DCU, I should not be surprised.) Man, kids in Angel Grove must need serious therapy. On the other hand, the parents have some seriously amazing threats to work with to get kids to eat veggies.

A bunch of the tiny children sing O Hannukah, except for the inappropriately young friend, who also has a sad. As previously mentioned, all she wants for Christmas is for her dad to come hear her sing. He is too busy working. Kim gives her advice on how to handle her dad (tell him how much she loves him so that he'll come watch her show! Because he has no way of knowing otherwise!)

And um, I'm not really sure if the show considered how it looks to have Kim solving the problems of an African American family? But it's a little bit on the fail side.

Up at the North Pole, we have the most annoying elves ever. Rito shows up and ties up Santa, and informs the Elves that they will all make Evil Dreidels instead. The main elf has a really annoyingly high pitched voice. It's awful.

Tommy and Kim are about to kiss under the mistletoe when Zordon calls. Hey, Zordon just cockblocked Tommy and Kim! That totally makes this episode worth it. The Rangers all head to the Command Center where Zordon explains the problem, and everyone is horrified that Santa is being messed with. Then Zordon spouts some nonsense about a cross current of holiday magic up at the North Pole will prevent them from morphing, but they decide to go anyway.

They are all seriously underdressed for the North Pole, even if Aisha pulled a jacket out of thin air. Rocky complains that he's cold. Don't worry, Rocky! Adam and Aisha will be glad to warm you up.

Santa is tied up in the center of the workshop with a giant bow stuck in his mouth. Everyone is concerned about Santa. This is ridiculous.

Back in Angel Grove, inappropriately young friend tells Bulk and Skull that Kimberly is missing. They pat her on the head and tell her not to worry. She is clearly not buying it.

The Rangers figure out that if they can't use their powers, then neither can Rito. Because apparently only good can win here at the North Pole? But in that case, why can't the Rangers morph? And how did Rito win in the first place?

The fight in this episode might be the most amazing thing ever. Kim and Aisha recruit the annoying elves to help, and then they lure Rito outsider. (Goldar has joined them for some reason). Did I mention that Rito is wearing a santa hat? Because it's awesome.

And then the Rangers beat them in a snowball fight. This might actually be the greatest thing ever. SNOWBALL FIGHT. And then they chase them into the workshop and the elves scatter marbles on the floor and they tie them up. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing ever. I love it. Rito and Goldar get tied up, and then returned to the moon. Why the Rangers don't just destroy them, I have no idea. (Right. Kids show. Destroying monsters of the week = ok, killing Goldar and Rito = not.)

Then the Rangers help Santa finish making presents. I think some other stuff might have happened in this scene, but Adam had suspenders that were falling off him and it was really hot and possibly there was a lot of capslock.

On the moon, Rito gave Goldar a present, and I ship those two so much it's ridiculous.

At the Youth Center, Bulk is actually a fairly good Santa! And Skull is his reindeer! Some really greedy kid has a whole list of stuff he wants, including an autographed picture of the Rangers. Don't we all, tiny child. Don't we all.

The Rangers all come in and pass out the toys that Santa gave them.

Inappropriately young friend's father shows up, and he tells her he loves her and will spend time with her, and then tells her that they should have hot chocolate, but she tells him to hold on so she can go thank Santa for getting her dad to come. Bulk's heart grows three sizes larger and he returns all the presents and oops, wait, wrong story!

Speaking of parents, Kim's mom and the step-artist show up as well. They got a last minute flight. Awww.

They sing one final Christmas Carol, and then break the fourth wall to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Fish: 2.5. Holiday magic, what?

Fic we want: How the Bulk stole Christmas. SERIOUSLY.

Episode 135 - A Different Shade of Pink Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Kat proves that she is wicked awesome by breaking the spell placed on her by Rita, and Kimberly falls off a balance beam.

We begin in an episode of ER - Kat called an ambulance, which rushed Kim to the hospital. Kat explains to the doctors that Kimberly fell off the beam and hit her head. If you watch the episode, it is clear that no, Kimberly did not in fact hit her head, but we guess for dramatic purposes she needs to have a head injury.

And then she wakes up and has amnesia and thinks she's dating Billy. Who wants to write me that fic?

Anyway, Kat feels guilty that Kimberly is hurt even though a) it is not her fault and b) she was under a spell, which she broke on her own, proving that she is way more awesome than Tommy because she didn't need someone to break a sword to remove the spell. Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd discuss the situation, and agree that Kat's act of supreme goodness has broken the spell permanently.

Back at the hospital, Tommy is on a payphone to Kim's mother in France and we discover that Kim's mother can't get a flight to the states. Billy and Tommy also have a discussion where they finally start to get suspicious of Kat, as they are not sure why she was at the Youth Center so late at night, but they are glad she was.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull & Lieutenant Stone are spying on Kim's coach, as they are convinced he is a spy. Then they get pushed down a laundry chute. Whatever. Kim's coach expresses concern for Kim. Aww.

Adam/Rocky/Aisha are off on a date in the park when Billy calls to let them know that Kim has woken up and the doctor says that she'll be just fine. We don't know why they weren't at the hospital to wait for their friend, but we can only assume they were busy comforting each other. Rito shows up to attack them, and they are very annoyed at being interrupted. It's Ninja Ranger time!

... Ok, we clearly entered the Twilight Zone or something, because Tommy is being really sweet. He brought Kim a bear! He expressed concern! We are not yelling at him to shut up! What madness is this? Why am I suddenly thinking Tommy is being good for Kimberly? My worldview is shattered. SHATTERED. Zordon calls and interrupts the moment and expresses his concern for Kim, who is sorry for worrying him. Zordon was actually paying attention for once, and the SCT are being overwhelmed. Billy and Tommy morph in the hospital room and then teleport straight out of there. Secret identities they are doing it wrong.

Kat comes into Kim's room and confesses everything while the other Rangers are fighting. She is all concerned that they will hate her forever for what she did while under the spell. In further proof that we've entered the twilight zone, two amazing things happen - continuity and characterization. Kimberly (and then the other Rangers) tell Kat about how Tommy began a Ranger, and how strong Rita's magic is, and that they could never hate her for what she did. It is actually really touching, and someone should write me Kim/Kat fic. Kim also says that she is not going to try out for the competition anymore, she's done with gymnastics. Everyone is confused by this, even though it is obvious that Kim is just terrified after falling. Characterization, you are doing it... quite well! Good job, show!

Rita and Zedd are now officially annoyed, so they send down some garbage monster to kidnap Kat. The monster gets them when they're all leaving the hospital, and the Rangers morph and the monster just stands there with Kat until she escapes. Then they call the Shogun Zords, which at one point get trapped in a garbage can, but they immediately break out. It's pretty dull. Except they have a flaming sword! I approve of that.

Rita confronts Billy/Kat/Tommy at the lake and tell them that if they don't turn Kat over to her, then they will destroy Ninjor forever. He is still trapped in a bottle, even though he has managed to get out of bottles before.

Why Rita doesn't just kidnap Kat while she sleeps we... really don't know.

To be continued!

Fish: 1 Any fish we had were counteracted by the characterization and continuity of awesome in this episode.

133 - Follow That Cab!

Today, on Power Rangers - we celebrate Shark Week by getting shark cycles. Or, you know, Shark Week happens to fall on the same week that we get to the shark cycles. Whichever.

The episode opens at the Juice Bar, where we discover that Kimberly seems to think that taking cats to restaurants is totally acceptable behavior. Frankly, she is wrong about this. Tommy shows up, just as Kim lets out a shriek, and Tommy comments that he's glad to know that he has that effect on her.

Tommy is glad he can make Kim scream. Kid's show. Riiiiiiight.

It turns out that he has nothing to do with it - famous gymnastics coach Gunther Schmidt is coming into town to look for talented gymnasts to participate in his Pan Globals team. Hmm. I wonder how this will end? Tommy encourages Kim to go meet the coach since she idolizes him. (He is clearly supposed to be Bela Karolyi, just saying.) She decides to go, and asks Ernie to watch the cat.

... WORST PET OWNER EVER. However, she has enough sense not to ask Tommy to watch the cat. Of course, as PC is secretly Kat, she quickly runs off to report what Kim is up to to Rita. Rita and Zedd are planning to trap a Ranger inside a monster so that the other Rangers won't want to destroy it. This is actually a fairly cunning plan! Probably because Rito thought of it. His plans are usually good. The only other thing of importance in this scene is that when Rita calls Kat an evil girl, Kat flashes back to how awesome and good she was and manages to temporarily break the spell. She is pretty awesome.

Anyway, since there is apparently sometimes crime in Angel Grove, Bulk and Skull fail to recognize the most obvious car thief ever and actually help him steal Kim's car. Kim then demands they go after the guy, so they commandeer a cab, which is promptly turned into a monster.

Alpha summons the Rangers, after commenting that he hopes they aren't off scuba diving, and I nearly fall off my chair laughing. Oh, show. At least you remember these ridiculous things!

The Rangers need to chase after the cab, and they get shark cycles. Because they... need to sell more toys? The slowest chase scene ever happens, and then Zords are summoned. The show attempted to provide some drama by claiming that the process of removing Kimberly, Bulk and Skull from the monster could result in Kimberbulk, but we know that wouldn't happen - the show clearly doesn't have the budget for it. So they get rescued, the monster is destroyed, and this is really boring.

What I didn't mention in the preceding paragraph is that the monster is the Crabby Cabby, and he speaks in one of the worst fake Brooklyn accents I've ever heard. And I'm from New York. We are just going to pretend that it never happened.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull have managed to locate Kimberly's car, and she hugs Bulk but not Skull. Poor Skull. :( Kimberly then decides she will try to meet her idol at the tryouts. The episode ends with her saying how much easier it would be to be a cat. I don't even know what to say about that.

Fish: 3. It was just... really mediocre.