Episode 77 - White Light - Part 1

First, a bit of housekeeping. We changed the tag "Green Ranger era" to "Tommy era." Just in case anyone is wondering.

So. Tommy. Yeah. I hate this episode. I loved it when I was ten. But the thing that actually is going to cause the rage blackout happens in part 2, so I'll try not to rant about it that much.

The episode opens with Bulk and Skull (who are decked out as explorers on a safari, IDEK) demand to know where their sandwiches are. Trini snarkily calls them out on their rudeness, as she is awesome.

Kimberly bounces in, all excited because Tommy has sent her a letter (I guess he remembered which Ranger he's actually dating) telling her that he'll be back at the end of the week. I have no idea what happens next, because we held an all caps conversation about this.

second_batgirl: SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS HE?
queenriley: okay, WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO IN THE FIRST PLACE????? Does he not have SCHOOL???
second_batgirl: APPARENTLY NOT
queenriley: I can't imagine school gives sabbatical for "I lost my ranger powers"

So we finally decided that they have to be on summer vacation or something. We already know that Miss Applebee teaches everything, so I guess that works? (Alternately, the administration knows that they're Rangers and does give a sabbatical for "I lost my powers.")

Anyway, at the Command Center it turns out that Zordon and Alpha are going to work on a project, so they shut down the Command Center without telling the Rangers. Do they not remember what happened the last time Zordon shut down? (I guess since Alpha isn't going to go rescue baby!Dillon this time, they didn't feel the need to call them.) Zedd, who is as awesome at surveillance as Rita was, immediately notices something weird, and then gives us a fish filled explanation about how the Morphin Grid is maintained by a balance of Zedd and Zordon. Right. I guess it's also supported by some giant fish. So Zedd decides this would be a great time to a) capture Tommy again and b) send down a monster named Nimrod.

Back on Earth, Zack, Curtis and Jasosn are playing sports and damn, Jason has nice arms. Then Rita's garbage pail crashes on Earth, and Bulk and Skull decide this is the sign that will tell them who the Power Rangers are. Right. I'm not entirely sure why it took 17 episodes for her to land on Earth. Maybe some fish were blocking her path.

At his uncle's lake, we see Tommy getting out of the lake. Wow, for a moment both of us thought he was naked. Those swim trunks were remarkably close to the color of his skin. Anyway, gratuitous shirtless soaking wet Tommy is gratuitous. And then he gets teleported out by someone in a flash of white light. Hmmm.

Zack wanders over to get a football, and he finds the statue covered in slime, so he calls the others. They are all concerned by the slime, but none of them bother to inspect the back of the statue, which has the monster's head on it. The Rangers soon discover that Zordon isn't answering their communicators, so they teleport to the Command Center which is totally shut down. However, Billy manages to access what we're guessing is the footage from the security cameras, so they teleport down to his lab to check it out.

While in the lab everything starts to shake, so they realize that a monster is attacking. It's Nimrod, and it's two helpers AC and DC. I love this show so much. Midway through the battle Billy teleports to the Command Center to go figure out what Zordon and Alpha are up to. He enters the same code he saw Alpha put in, and falls through the door of light. Instead of ending up in the main room where Alpha and Zordon are, he lands in the room above them, which conveniently has a grate for him to look through. Zordon and Alpha fail at noticing his presence, but Billy is able to see that there's another Ranger....

To be continued. Tomorrow.

Fish: 3.5 The fish sure nudged a lot of plot points into place today.

Billy speak: There was a lot of borderline comments, but the only thing of note was "The activity disc is showing the combination of controls that Alpha coordinated."

Covered in: I did mention soaking wet Tommy and the lake, right?

Episode 74- Missing Green

Just a quick blogger note to let you guys know there will be no recaps for the next week or so. I wouldn't expect one until Tuesday the 26th at the earliest. Due to a death in the family, I'll be out of town for the next week and a half and unable to recap.

So. This episode. Missing Green. Otherwise known as Jason-attempts-to-look-emo-but-just-looks-constipated-because-he-misses-his-boyfriendfriend. Aka: Jason is Very Very Pretty.

This episode is weird. Just... weird. It's also blatant contract dispute time!

We start off in the Youth Center with Zack giving Jason some pointers for an upcoming martial arts expo. Jason is really messing up, though, because he just keeps seeing the target as Tommy and can't manage to kick it. He feels guilty for not getting the green candle in time and as such, is going to let the economy of Angel Grove fail. Bad Jason.

Meanwhile, Zedd devises a plan to use Jason's guilt against him. He also calls Goldar out on being a turncoat. And he does it in the most awesome way. Oh, Zedd.

Back at the Youth Center, Kim, Trini, Billy, and Zack are talking. Zack is worried about Jason. Kim decides they should find Tommy to help make Jason feel better. I don't know why they have to FIND Tommy, but I don't have time to dwell on that since they said ranger right in front of Bulk and Skull and the duo actually NOTICED. That's right, secret identity fail that was actually OVERHEARD! So Bulk and Skull are going to follow them by borrowing Bulk's aunt's bright yellow taxi.

Zack drives a big red SUV for some reason. They're trying to find The Lake of No Name except Kim can't remember where it is and they're lost. They pull over and look at a map that is apparently of Angel Grove, but it still doesn't make much sense. But Goldar shows up before they can figure out where they are! Bulk and Skull somehow COMPLETELY MISS the foursome morphing right in front of them. I don't even know how, but they didn't see it. Goldar taunts them a little and then immediately transports them to a cell in the dark dimension. There are four candles in the colours of the kidnapped rangers and he's using the last of the green candle to light the others. There is a fishy explanation and... it really doesn't work that way. Or it didn't last time. Nod and smile.

Meanwhile, Zordon has taken initiative and called Jason! He explains what's going on and then gives Jason an awesome pep talk about what makes him a good leader and tough decisions and yada yada yada. Holy crap, Zordon for the WIN! Zordon FTMFW even! I don't even quite know what to do with that. Jason is very demanding (and it's so incredibly incredibly hot, despite the fact that he really couldn't act here) and insists Zordon find his friends because the trophy isn't worth winning if he can't share it with his friends (and we know he really means Tommy, but whatever, he was all kinds of forceful and I got all flustered).

Anyway, Zedd has turned the trophy for the martial arts expo into a monster, completely contradicting himself from a mere two episodes ago where we discovered he could only turn things into monsters if they were alive. Jason morphs and goes to fight this monster and ends up entangled in the tentacles, despite us never actually seeing the monster in the same shot as the red ranger. It's also blatantly obvious that we've entered contract dispute episodes because the voiceover for Jason here is definitely not Austin St. John. It doesn't sound anything like him at all! And he spends most of the episode morphed.

There is a random battle where the monster grows and Jason calls the red dragon thunderzord and it's very confusing, but the zord beats the monster and it returns to it's previous trophy state and location. Jason teleports into the dark dimension and fights Goldar. He manages to knock over the candles and gets the keys from Goldar to let the others out. Unfortunately, they're all weak and stuff because of the candles. So in some weird fishy scene, Jason takes all the power coins, puts them on top of the now upright candles, and uses his power coin to... do something but I'm not sure what. Basically it was like lightning went from his coin to the others and then the candles disappeared and everybody got their powers back. Uh... okay then. He gives them their coins back, they all leave by jumping through some invisible vortex or something (my head is going to fall off I'm nodding and smiling so hard here), but Goldar grabs Jason by the leg and insisting he won't let him go that easy. The show outright admits that Goldar's entire purpose revolves around Jason. Wow. Way to point that out, show!

So they all end up in the Command Center and Alpha is exciting because they've located Tommy. He is indeed at The Lake of No Name. He's writing JASON a letter. Not his girlfriend or anything, but JASON. He's also writing it by holding the paper upright in front of his face, but I'm going to ignore that fact. Because he's writing a letter to JASON and he's saying everything he's writing and good holy hell it's the slashiest thing this show has ever done. I don't even ship them! Oh, and Tommy is wearing all white.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull show off a picture that was supposed to be of the rangers but was actually of a birds nest that fell on top of them. They go off to come up with another plan to discover the identity of the power rangers while Jason and the rest of the team go inside for the martial arts expo. Jason is VERY pretty and SHIRTLESS. I suddenly like this episode an awful lot. Jason does some interesting moves and the judges immediately award him first place and the trophy. He dedicates it to Tommy. For some reason. That I'm sure has nothing to do with sex. Or at least I'm sure that's what the show wants us to think. Or maybe not... because it's really kind of undeniable here.

Mostly I'm just happy he's shirtless and SHINY. He's glistening with sweat. It's very lovely.

List time!
4 fish... there were a lot of contradictions with previous episodes. I mean, A LOT.

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull were covered in eggs.

Episode 67- The Green Dream

Yay! We get to use the Tommy is better when he's evil tag again!

So we start the episode out at the end of class. The students are reminded that their essay is due on Friday. It needs to be 500 words long and about something that interests them. Clearly, the rangers are either in third grade or attend TSB's grad school and this is their final.

Bulk and Skull haven't started theirs yet, but they decide they're going to write about finding out the real identities of the Power Rangers. Oh boys. *pets*

In the hallway, Tommy doesn't hear Kim because he's thinking about the nightmare he's had three nights in a row now. He's dreaming about losing his powers. This is actually a completely normal and healthy response to something major in one's life and for all that I dislike the character, his wooby face makes me want to give him a hug. Meanwhile, they talk VERY LOUDLY about losing the green ranger powers in the middle of the hallway. Secret identities. They don't work like that.

Zedd overhears from the moon (but none of the kids standing next to them do?) and decides to take advantage of that little nightmare. Oh, Zedd! *dreamy fangirl sigh*

At the Youth Center, Billy explains a device he's created that scrambles electronic waves up to twenty feet. He's determined to build an even bigger version that can scramble Zedd's electronic waves from the moon. How that won't interfere with anything else, I'm not sure, but it's Billy and he's awesome so I'll go along with it. Tommy joins them and talks about how hard the paper is going to be and his nightmares and how he fails at being Emo Ranger. He's off to the library to find a book on mythology, as that's what he's decided to write his paper on. Before he can leave, however, Bulk and Skull come in with some sort of device. It's somehow going to find some specific signal to tell them who the rangers are. They almost hone in on our six heroes when Billy sets off his scrambler and directs Bulk and Skull to Ernie. Ernie's pretending is kind of cute, actually. Defeated, they leave and Tommy follows. At some point Jason was mocking Bulk and Skull, but I was too busy being distracted by his pretty pretty arms to notice what he said.

Tommy's alone in the park, which is never a good thing. Sure enough, he's attacked by putties, captured, and teleported to the Cave of Captivity where he's confronted by Goldar. Goldar is rather sad he had to get Tommy instead of Jason. Tommy swears he won't go evil again and then is promptly put under a spell and swears his allegiance to Lord Zedd. Oh Tommy. Good try there, honey.

He goes back to the Youth Center, his kidnapping and spell going completely unnoticed, and then Zordon calls them all to the Command Center. Apparently Zedd has sent down the Robogoat. Tommy wants to fight, they want him to conserve his powers, yada yada yada. He has a suggestion! Maybe the Convenient Plot Device, I mean, the Sword of Power (which I don't think we ever see again), can infuse him with enough power to fight now! They summon it, he reveals his evilness, and teleports away with the Convenient Plot Device. He gives it to the Robogoat and suddenly the spell is broken. Why? Why let him be good again? I can only assume the plan was intercepted by a large school of fish.

He fights, he falls, his power starts to fail, whatever. This whole time Zordon "can't locate his signal" so the rangers are just kind of standing around. As soon as Tommy is down for good, Zordon miraculously finds him. Now, he can analyze a monster in a matter of seconds, he can teleport people into a supposedly impenetrable dark dimension, and yet he can't find Tommy out in the open in the "we fight here every day" abandoned rock quarry. I'm beginning to think Zordon does this on purpose and it's all an evil plot to get rid of Tommy for good. He's purposely sabotaging Tommy. Or maybe he just got distracted by the fish. Either way.

So the others morph and go fight the Robogoat. He bleats evilly at them which really is more adorable than threatening. I just want to scritch him between his little horns.

The rangers, excluding Jason, fall into a hole and disappear. Jason fights the Robogoat for the Convenient Plot Device. Zordon manages to teleport it back to the Command Center, Robogoat lets the other rangers out of energy bubbles (but they fell in a hole in the ground! FISHY FISH FISH what?), and then they all summon zords and fight. Tommy is sad because he is almost out of power and even Dragonzord won't come fight. The other rangers use their spiffy sword to blow up the monster, and the fight is over. Darn.

Back at a very empty school, Tommy is sitting on the steps trying to be Emo Ranger. Kim is trying to comfort him and Jason either needs acting lessons or really actually doesn't care because he's more condescending than comforting.

List time:
3.5 fish... the Convenient Plot Device was the only glaring problem, but get enough little fish and it adds up.

Billy speak: "It's capable of scrambling electronic signals up to 20 feet away." I consider it borderline Billy speak, but it's all we get this episode, so there you go.

Episode 58 - Football Season

Hi everyone I am back from San Francisco! I am totally jet lagged and operating on caffeine and willpower, so my apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense. But seriously, I haven't watched Power Rangers in over a week* so it only makes sense that the first episode I watch is a Tommy episode, right? This episode actually starts off really well (and man, it is pretty) but unfortunately it then deteriorates into a large pile of fish, and even the pretty cannot save it. Also, I do not care about football (BASEBALL. Why are they not playing baseball???) so I'm sure there are plenty of football references that I just missed or whatever.

The episode begins with Tommy and Jason in the hallway admiring their nice arms. Well, Jason has nice arms. Tommy's arms are kinda scrawny. But actually they're talking about football, and Jason is encouraging Tommy to try out for the team, possibly so they can wrestle and pat each other on the butt. Bulk is also trying out for the team, and Skull is his coach. Bulk charges down the hallway, crashes into the principal, and then they get more detention. We think they might still be there, since they have to be up to at least 20 years at this point.

Later, in the Youth Center, Tommy is sulking about how he doesn't understand football, and he's worried about being rejected. This is almost endearing. Almost. It's just that Adam does it so much better than Tommy does. Ernie offers to coach Tommy, since apparently Ernie was awesome at football in college. That's so sweet of him! It's inappropriately young friends, the older generation! Bulk wanders into the Youth Center in a tutu, and Skull mispronounces ballet. Those two are oddly endearing in this episode. We're getting closer to them getting character development, yay! Trini and Kim ask Tommy if he wants to go to the park with them to play flag football, but he says no so that Ernie can train him. Whatever.

Tommy fails at grasping the concept of football. You are not supposed to kick people in the head, Tommy! That is not a very hard concept to grasp! It is not karate. (Okay, I do approve of the scene where he does push ups. I am shallow. Whatever.) Oh, and there are more hijinks of Bulk in his tutu in detention. Whatever. (Amazingly, there are other students! Maybe they got a bigger budget?)

Meanwhile, in the park, David Yost is really pretty. Seriously, we chat during the recaps and it pretty much deteriorated into "OH HI THERE DAVID'S ARMS" for a while. For the record, both of us would watch a show where they just played sports. (Also, if Billy can play football, Tommy should be able to play football. I guarantee you that Billy just decided to read a book on it that morning and then was all "I know football" and proceeded to beat everyone.)

Anyway, Rita decided she wanted a football team of her own, so she sends Putties down into the park. Billy is an awesome gymnast, the girls kick ass, and for some reason Zack is wearing a shirt. They go to the Command Center where Zordon tells them that as they can tell from the attack, Rita wants her own football team. Really? Because Rita's attacked them while they play basketball and volleyball, and Rita hasn't had that themed monsters yet. Maybe a fish told them.

So they go and fight Rita's monster, who is a rhino or something? But he isn't that important, because there are FOOTBALL PUTTIES. AMAZING. Except then the monster sends them to an alternate dimension, so Zordon needs to call Tommy. Tommy leaves his training while Ernie is on the phone (I hope that's a long phone call, Ernie, because Tommy didn't leave a note) and there's a long fishy explanation about how if Tommy throws his daggers through the mist of the alternate dimension and Jason catches them that the Rangers will be freed? So Tommy fakes surrendering and I don't even know, because this was about the point where our chat deteriorated again, but instead of yelling about Billy's arms, we were yelling about fish. Oh, and Tommy's powers are starting to go out, because it adds drama. Or something.

Especially because then the Megazord appears out of nowhere (seriously, did they summon it in the dimension?) and then it turns out that Tommy's daggers are a boomerang, and also Tommy recovers from his power loss as soon as he sees the Megazord. Fish fish fish.

Back at the Youth Center, Principal Caplan is announcing the football team. Jason, Billy and Zack all make the team. Billy? Seriously? I still can't picture him agreeing to play this sport. Although the boys look really pretty in the uniforms. And I can't think its a good idea for them to be all on a team - what happens when Rita attacks? Does she just know not to attack during their practices and games? Will this ever be referenced again? Anyway, a bunch of other people are on the team, and Kimberly and Trini are sad because Tommy appears not to make it. Zack sees that Caplan dropped a sheet of paper, and calls Bulk's name. Trini and Kim clap half-heartedly, and Bulk comes out in a uniform + a tutu. And then Caplan calls Tommy's name. Apparently Tommy is the Star quarterback.

That sound you just heard is a combination of hysterical laughter and yelling. Okay, first of all, they haven't played any games yet. Second, Tommy did not deserve this which is what they say repeatedly. Sure, let him make the team. Fine. Whatever. But he's been playing for a day and he knows nothing about any of the strategies or anything else. (I do watch Friday Night Lights, although even that show has failed to explain football to me. Except I would like Jason Street to be a superhero.)

Anyway. This episode gets 5 fish. It started out really well and then fell apart. Even the pretty cannot save it.



*This is not true. I visited ryuutchi while I was there, and I was horrified to find out that she hadn't yet seen Ranger Blue, and she was horrified that I'd never seen any of Jungle Fury, so we watched some episodes. Theo and RJ are totally awesome, just so everyone knows. And Flynn is still my favorite. Well, except for Adam. But Flynn is my favorite for RPM! So.** Also, my friends who I went on vacation with very nicely put up with my babbling about my apocabigbang even though neither of them are in this fandom, as they are awesome. ♥ ♥ ♥

**I did mention that I was running on pure caffeine and willpower, right?

Episode 57- Fowl Play

To start with, TSB will be going on vacation next week, so there will be no recaps. Alas.

Finally we get the Zack episode I lamented at missing due to the mislabel! Even better than that, it's a Tommy-less Zack episode! Yay!

So we start off with Angela breaking up a fight between two kids while Zack, in a stunning display of actual continuity, puts on a magic show. He's pretty good. Bulk and Skull interrupt, however, and make fools of themselves in attempting to upstage him. All while Bulk has a Twinkie in his mouth. *sigh* Zack is then really mean and surprises them with some fake snakes. Snakes. I thought he was afraid of snakes. But I guess he got over it. Or they forgot.

So Angela tells him that was brilliant (really? Seemed more mean to me...) and then kisses him on the cheek. Okay, so that part was adorable. She walks off and the other rangers walk up and make fun of Zack for it. They're kind of mean about it, but it's borderline between playful and cruel, so I'll let it slide. Jason seems somewhat jealous and tells Zack not to do anything that he wouldn't do and we're left with the unsaid "Like kiss a girl" hanging in the air. They go to the park and Zack stays behind to hit on Angela. Meanwhile, Rita also seems to want to get in on the Zack action and swears she'll show him what a real peck on the cheek is like. Man, Zack is quite the hot commodity here!

In the park, Jason says something about putty and suddenly they are surrounded by putties. Kim poses a lot, Jason has very pretty arms, Trini is awesome, and David Yost is very pretty and obviously a gymnast.

Moving on, Angela asks Zack why he never told her he was so good with kids and Ernie's reaction to his response is PRICELESS. Zack says he doesn't like to brag and Ernie nearly chokes on his drink and walks away mumbling about how something has affected his hearing. Hehehhe. Angela tries to ask him out and Ernie keeps trying to get his attention. They finally look over and there is a news report about a giant monster bird thing attacking downtown. Ernie clearly knows Zack is a power ranger. The kids all gather 'round and Zack reassures them, but they don't look all that worried actually. One little girl says she's not worried because she knows the power rangers will save them. Awwwww.

So in order to get away, Zack has the brilliant (actually so, this time) plan to have Bulk make him disappear. It's awesome and works, except he's really mean and tells Bulk the magic words are "Iamag Oon" so when he says it, Bulk calls him a goon. Douchebag of the Day awarded to Zack! Grrr.

So Zack disappears and Zordon calls him with impeccable timing just as he reaches the hallway and is completely out of sight and earshot. He ends up having to fight the bird monster by himself because the others are tied up with the putties... still. We discover the monster's name is the Peckster. And I spend approximately five minutes giggling. The Peckster (teehee) runs away undefeated and Zack goes to the Command Center, where he discovers he must go back to the Youth Center because the (completely calm and not at all worried) children need him. Um... okay then.

So he gets back just in time for Bulk, who has up to this point refused to say "Zack" lest he bring him back from whence he sent him (where he saw lots of beans, I'm sure), get goaded into saying "Zack". One kid was very pouty. Everybody oohs and ahs as if it were real magic. Even the adults/teens. Mmkay.

At the part the putties disappear and the rangers go to the Command Center. They have to go fight the Peckster (teehee) and are told Zack will join them when he can and Tommy will not be called, lest his powers fail. And that is blissfully the only mention we get of him this episode.

So they're fighting, and the kids and Zack are watching on the tv, and Zack spies a bunch of balloons. Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend is sure the power rangers will save the day and Zack, in reassuring him (why? he was fine), spies some balloons. He sees Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend's black ball and gets an idea.

He teleports, morphed, into the fight and somehow talks the Peckster (teehee) into popping all the balloons in his hand. The last one, a black one, is really the ball in disguise (that looks nothing like a ball until the bird goes after it and then it looks nothing like a balloon) and the Peckster (teehee) gets his beak stuck. Oh show. I just. Okay, I'll be honest. I dissolved into audible fits of giggles and missed a lot of the ensuing fight. Because the Peckster gets his mouth stuck on a ball. I'm still giggling.

Basically, the Peckster grows (guffaw!), the zords are summoned, we see two things we've never seen before and will never see again (the Mammoth Shield and some laser that comes out of their head), and then the Power Sword Saves Them All. Again. Per usual. Whatever. Oh, and somewhere in there Zack gives a motivational speech about not giving up. I was still too busy laughing. Sorry.

Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend says the black power ranger used his head before his fists, JUST LIKE ZACK, and clearly this is a very smart Inappropriately Young Friend. Clearly he, like Ernie, knows Zack is the black ranger.

Later, Zack comes in all dressed up. He cleans up nice! It's a goofy suit and he even manages to make it look good! He's got grand plans to take Angela out for dinner and dancing, but she shows up with a gaggle of kids and tells him they're going to a 5 hour Woody Woodpecker review at the local cinema. Zack is upset, obviously, but goes along. We also discover I'm apparently the only person in the world who, as a tiny child, would have gladly sat through 5 hours of Woody Woodpecker. What? I loved him! And Underdog. Don't judge me!

List time!
4.5 fish. It was ridiculous, I'm sorry! It managed to both do a massive call back continuity nod AND ignore continuity altogether at the same time! But at least it was AWESOMELY ridiculous!

Billy speak: "What an effusive display of affection."

"Look at the abundance of feathers on that overstuffed ornith!"

Covered in food: Nobody!

Episode 56 - Enter the Lizzinator

At this point we've given up going by the order as posted, and we're just going by the way these episodes are on our shiny dvd sets. So even though this episode claims it is Fins and Needles, we're actually watching a Cheerleading episode.

So, we start off watching tryouts for the Angel Grove Junior High Cheerleading Squad. A random redhead is being focused on (I approve of all random redheads, just for the record) and wow, they are such bad cheerleaders. The cheer itself is horrible, and they also all suck. The random redhead sucks more than the rest of them, and ends up being late for the final word. Awkward. The random redhead turns out to also be a random relative. She is, in fact, Kimberly's cousin. Raise your hand if you're surprised that Kimberly was a cheerleader. Anyone? Bueller?

Apparently Kimberly was so awesome, that the Junior High still talks about her a few years later. So is Kimberly still cheering now, or did she quit when she got to high school, and honestly, who cares about Middle School Cheerleaders anyway? Perhaps Angel Grove High just doesn't have cheerleaders because a) they only have one teacher, so there's nobody to coach the cheerleading squad, and b) martial arts competitions don't have cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita decides what her life is lacking is her own personal cheerleader. So instead of capturing a good cheerleader, she decides to go after Kelly. Personally, I feel she should have just trained Squatt and Baboo.

Anyway, Random Relative (Kelly) is all sad that she is not as awesome as Kimberly, and Kim offers to help her. Kim is actually pretty lousy at cheerleading herself, honestly. Plus, when you teach these things you're supposed to mirror the person, so no wonder Kelly is messing up. Kelly gets frustrated and runs away.

Ernie asks Jason (and hi there, Jason's arms!) to go pick up a delivery across town, since some truck broke down. I hope you're paying him for that, Ernie. Or is Jason just trying to work off everyone's bill? That probably makes more sense.

Kimberly and Tommy find Kelly at the playground, and Kimberly gives what I assume is supposed to be an inspiring speech, while Tommy stands around looking creepy. Then they get attacked by putties, and I'm pretty sure we spent the whole fight scene discussing how I still think Kimberly's fashion sense is awesome. Just as the fight ends, Squatt and Baboo kidnap Kelly, and drag her off to the cave of captivity. Kimberly and Tommy forget they have communicators, and they run over to the Youth Center to get Zack, Trini and Billy.

Meanwhile, Jason is picking up Ernie's delivery, when he gets attacked by the Lizzinator. At first we're totally confused as to why he's called the Lizzinator, and then he starts to talk. It's actually a Terminator joke, or really a governator joke. Oh, show. Sometimes I love you so much. (The monster still looks nothing like a lizard. Seriously.) Anyway, the monster beats Jason up, and then tells him it was too easy, and maybe more Rangers will present more of a challenge, and then he runs away.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them that the Lizzinator is incredibly powerful, and Alpha presents Billy with a grocery scanner readout that says that the monster is really powerful. Nothing can penetrate its skin. Kimberly is all upset because apparently if they can't defeat it, they'll never find Kelly. Also, if they can't defeat it, then Rita will, you know, take over the world. I feel that Kimberly's priorities are skewed. Tommy says he'll go with them to fight, but they suddenly all remember that Tommy's powers are limited. Continuity! It's a miracle!

They go to the Inexplicably Abandoned Rock Quarry, and there are a lot of putties. Including a driving!putty, and we start talking about how probably thinks this scene is awesome. However, we've also decided that it would be even better if it was a driving!pumpkinhead!putty. This should happen. Plus, the driving!putty punches Jason in the face. This is hilarious to us.

Anyway, Jason is getting beaten up, when Tommy shows up to save his boyfriend, even though Jason is all "no! you're so weak!" and then Jason promptly swoons. Booooooooyfriends. (I only find Tommy tolerable when he's dating Adam Jason.) There's a fight, and other things, but honestly, I'm not so much in this for the fight scenes. Oh, and at some point they summon Zords, the Dragonzord gets thrown around in a way that made us start yelling about how physics doesn't work like that (The Lizzinator held the DragonZord completely upright over his head by gripping the end of his tail), and eventually the Rangers summon Titanus and win. At least it wasn't just the power sword this time.

In the Cave of Captivity, Kelly is just sitting on a rock, thinking of what Kimberly would do. She remembers that Kimberly told her to have faith in herself, and comes up with a plan. Um, I am fairly sure that Kimberly was talking about cheerleading, not fighting monsters. Idiot child! Kelly's grand plan involves writing the worst cheer ever and teaching it to Squatt and Baboo, who are talking about cheeseburgers. It is even worse than the Pumpkin Rapper. (Okay, not quite. But it is close.) Along with teaching them a cheer (that doesn't rhyme) about how Rita always loses to the Power Rangers, Kelly makes them spin around repeatedly, and they get dizzy. Squatt and Baboo then teleport out of the cave, leaving Kelly alone.

Now that Kelly is safe, the Rangers show up, and Kelly is very unenthusiastic about being rescued. Seriously, kid, I would be milking this for weeks! But no, she's just all "oh, hi there!" Maybe she knows that Kimberly is a Ranger and she doesn't want to look dorky in front of her cousin.

Then the episode ends. It was pretty good!

... Okay, that isn't actually what happened. What happens next is that the episode veers straight into high fish territory. Even though the tryouts were supposed to be that same afternoon, everyone is wearing different clothes. A group is doing a cheer, and then it's Kelly's turn. She doesn't cheer, but she instead does a dance, so I have no idea why she was practicing the cheer anyway, since all she had to do was dance.

Kimberly and Kelly are both horrible to Bulk and Skull, and there's more fatphobia, and I cannot even deal.


Fish: If it had ended before the last few minutes, I would have given it 2, maybe 2.5 because of the ridiculous monster name. But since the last few minutes happened, it's being bumped up to a 4.

Fanart that needs to exist: Squatt and Baboo: I can has cheezburger?

Episode 53- Fins and Needles

So the episode list has episode 53 listed as Fowl Play. Even the little title screen has it as Fowl Play. I was so so so excited to recap a Zack episode today! But no, we start it up and get Fins and Needles instead. Yet another Jason and Tommy Need to Learn to Work Together episode. Which makes number what, four, for that theme? If they haven't learnt the lesson by now, I don't think they're going to. So anyway.

Uh, today on Power Rangers, Jason and Tommy are dense, Zordon kind of fails, the rangers are creepy with small children, and Jason really needs some fiber for regularity.

We start out the episode with Tommy and Jason getting along just fine while teaching a free martial arts class for small people at the Youth Center. This is where we start going "Wait... what? Where's Zack?" And we decide we really like appreciating Jason's arms in this episode, but I would really like to appreciate Jason's arms in a Zack-centric episode. Not that I'm bitter or anything. Anyway, moving on.

Rita creates the Slippery Shark monster and has some putties go down to put Jason and Tommy under a spell. Again. They end up in a park fighting the putties when Tommy gets knocked down. Jason protects him by standing over him and catching some evil boomerang with the palms of his hands. Mmkay. Basically this means they're now under a spell. Again.

The putties leave and they start fighting. Again. Haven't we done this plot before? *le sigh*

At school the following day, Tommy is leaning against Jason's locker while talking to Kim and Trini. Jason says excuse me, prompting Tommy to move, but then they just stand there and insult each other like an old married couple. We chuckle because Tommy is just flinging crap, but Jason's insults are actually true. Kim and Trini have no clue what's going on, but soon the insults escalate into physical violence. Bulk and Skull actually sort of attempt to break it up when Mrs. Applebee walks up, asks what's going on, and then accuses them of lying when they tell her exactly what's going on. Kim jumps in and tells her Jason and Tommy were just practicing moves for their class and way to just flat out LIE to the teacher, Kim. The boys get off the hook because, well, one teacher and they're the favourites.

At the Youth Center again, Bulk and Skull are selling tickets to the Jason and Tommy fight. They're making a killing and some guy buys 20 tickets randomly. It's not a raffle, dude, it's just admission. I have to comment here that Jason doesn't look so much angry as constipated. Upon commencement of the fight, Zack steps in to try and break it up. He just wants them to get along! Sweet sweet Zack, we love you so. I wish this were your episode.

Zordon, after spending probably about 24 hours without noticing the spell, contacts the rangers. Zack manages to break up the fight long enough to get Jason and Tommy to go into the hallway and teleport to the Command Center. The very large crowd of teenagers don't notice, don't follow, but instead chase Bulk and Skull for a refund. It's either major secret identity FAIL or major teenagers are dumb... with Angel Grove, either or both is plausible.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them about the Slippery Shark and how they need to go fight it. And oh yeah, Jason and Tommy are under a spell that makes them fight, by the way, did you notice? *eyeroll* Apparently the only way to break the spell is to get them to set aside their animosity and work together. Y'know, just like every other time this plot has been used with Jason and Tommy.

So the two of them go off to fight the shark together, leaving the others behind in the Youth Center to twiddle their thumbs, possibly find a very uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen), and observe the viewing globe.

Jason and Tommy can't seem to work together and separate to fight the shark. Tommy wants to attack him while he's under ground, Jason wants to go after him while he's in the air. They decide to go their own way and if Tommy wins he gets to be leader of the Power Rangers and if Jason wins he gets Tommy's power coin. We cheer for Jason. Loudly. Neither of them succeed, though, and after a few minutes of me going "Oh hai thar sentai footage!" (because neither Jason David Frank nor Austin St. John are that skinny and lanky), they finally decide to combine their plans.

Somehow this means throwing a net over the shark while he's popping out the ground? It really had nothing to do with their individual plans, but okay. They worked together and the spell is broken, just like that. So instead of calling for the others, they continue to fight the shark just the two of them. The others must still be busy... observing the viewing globe... possibly from the back of the Volkswagen.

Eventually they can't fight it anymore and call the others. I get excited because Zack gets to do the morphin call! We get some awesome Power Weapons shots, but then the monster grows and they have to call the Zords. The shark just kind of runs between the MegaZord and the DragonZord and they don't seem to try to fight it at all. Then they decide to go with teamwork. The MegaZord holds the shark's fin while the DragonZord whaps it a few times with it's tail. They're making headway! And we haven't even heard mention of the Power Sword yet! So I get all ahead of myself and we have this conversation:
QR: teamwork... by holding the fin so the DragonZord can whack at him for awhile?
okay...
at least it's not another "Power Sword saves them all" fight
or is it?
TSB: you were saying?
QR: oh, it is
nevermind
damn
In other words, they hit it with the Power Sword and it goes kaboom.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Tommy are teaching the small children in the free karate class again. Billy, Trini, Kim, and Zack are standing on the sidelines watching and talking VERY LOUDLY about Rita putting Jason and Tommy under a spell. Y'know, talking about being rangers, while standing right next to a group of kids? That's not how secret identities work, guys, I'm just saying. Bulk and Skull come in and demand the fight they feel they are owed. Jason and Tommy provoke them and then step out of the way when Bulk and Skull try to punch them. Bulk and Skull keel over and Jason and Tommy tell the kids of the class that there are always ways other than fighting. The other four are touching the inappropriately young friends inappropriately and I'm bothered.

I still wish this had been the Zack episode.

List time-
2 fish, mostly because I'm already tired of this plot, cohesive though it is.

Billy speak: "It's truly inspiring to see them volunteer their time to teach free classes."
"This confrontation could have disastrous results!"

Covered in food: nobody!

Episode 52 - Two Heads are Better Than One

This episode sucked AND it pissed me off.




... Apparently I still have to do a recap. Fine. Tommy and Jason are teaching a women's self defense class. Good for them, although I would have liked Trini to have been the one teaching it. But then we get to their advice. Which apparently boils down to yell really loudly and always use the buddy system. Because, you know, if you walk by yourself you'll be raped and it will totally be your fault and WHAT THE HELL SHOW. Rage blackout number 1. (There was a lot more cursing and a lot more all caps in the first draft of this post.)

Also, apparently they're just teaching the moms of Angel Grove. Because if you're not in high school you must be a mother and it isn't like there are any single women. Or maybe they should just stay at home by themselves.

Anyway, class ends, and the Rangers all go to try Ernie's new drink. I guess all the money from the reward paid off. Bulk and Skull show up, wanting to join the class that Jason and Tommy are teaching. The boys point out that the class is over, and then Trini reminds them that it is a women's self defense class. Bulk and Skull say that they just want to meet babes, like Kimberly, and then Skull sniffs her hair, and in context it is so incredibly inappropriate that I have rage blackout number 2.

Apparently this episode is supposed to be about teamwork or something, because Rita creates a monster that has two heads, since that's better than one. They repeat that a lot. Tommy and Jason get attacked in the park and they morph. Jason wants to fight, but Tommy wants to retreat. I guess this is also the Tommy and Jason need to learn how to get along episode. Which already happened once.

So, they go with Tommy's plan and teleport to the Command Center instead of just calling for help. Apparently the way to defeat the ridiculous bird thing is to feed it a pamango fruit. Hey, guess what type of drinks Ernie was serving earlier! Gee, I wonder if this will be relevant. Tommy goes to the park to go climb a tree and find a fruit, but he gets attacked by putties and they steal the pamango. I guess that there was only one tree and that tree only had one fruit. Right. Whatever. But seriously, if it's native to Angel Grove, couldn't they have gone to a grocery store?

Instead, Tommy goes to Ernie and feeds him a bullshit story about how he bought Kim a parrot and the parrot needs a pamango. Ernie humors him and gives him the fruit (I am firmly convinced that he assumes it was for Ranger related reasons and was amazed at the sheer stupidity of Tommy's lie) and Tommy goes off to join the other Rangers, who have been fighting the monster. Apparently Jason is failing at teamwork because he didn't wait for Tommy? Because this monster is too smart for them? I fail to see how waiting for Tommy will improve their chances. Anyway, Tommy shows up with the fruit and the monster fights over the fruit. It reminds us of gooney bird eggs. Rita makes the monster grow, and they summon Titanus and defeat it. (Side note - it seems that Tommy is way more powerful than the rest of them, but isn't he operating on limited power?)

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie asks Kim about her parrot, but apparently Tommy never bothered to tell her about the lie, so she's totally confused. Bulk and Skull interrupt the women's self defense class, and it is time for rage blackout number 3. Jason and Tommy allow Bulk and Skull to be the attackers in the self defense class, and the moms beat them up. Which I actually have a problem with, because you need to learn how to take a fall, and they could have been actually hurt, and basically everything about this episode upset me.

I fail to see how the last line of "two moms are better than one" is relevant anyway. Or why this episode was about teamwork. It is now stricken from my personal canon.


Fish. FIVE FISH. Between the rage inducing and the fact that the plot made no sense there's nothing else we could give it.

Billy speak: "It's a mixture of ananas comosus, cydia fruit, and carica fruit" (seriously? Google tells us it is actually Cydia FRUIT MOTHS. I'm really grossed out now.) (We're hoping that he actually said SANDIA fruit, which is watermelon. But it sure didn't sound that way.)
"By doubling it's cranial capacity, Rita has created a..."
"Perhaps we could distract it with it's favourite food. Parrots do like fruit."

Quotable Quotes: Polly want a megazord?

Episode 51- Grumble Bee

My little shipper heart absolutely DELIGHTS in this episode. I think I've watched it more often than any other PR episode in it's entire seventeen season run.

So we start out remembering that Angel Grove lacks quality education because Mrs. Applebee, portraying the role of Science Teacher Applebee, is handing out test results. She apologizes to Billy as she hands him his test. He got a B. He's heartbroken! Mrs. Applebee reminds the class that they need top grades to get into the Young Scientists of America Club. Poor Billy is so distraught he can't even be bothered to pick up his backpack, instead dragging it along the ground behind him. He laments his sad, sad little B and Kim attempts to reassure him that a B is still a wonderful grade. After all, she gets them all the time. He appreciates the effort, but he has apparently never in his life ever gotten a B before. I must wonder why he's not in honours classes, advanced a few grades, or gotten his doctorate by this point. Bulk and Skull are mean and tease him, but he can't even give them what for. Poor Billy is the emo-est of all Emo Rangers for just this one episode. Poor little Emo Ranger.

Jason says Billy should take a break and go play some basketball, but I have to wonder if Jason has ever actually paid attention to Billy before. Billy isn't the type to relax and unwind with SPORT. He's just... not. Trini offers to help him "study" and Billy immediately cheers up. Yes, Trini helps him "study" rather a lot apparently. He brightens up so much there is no way it's anything BUT a euphemism. Oh, I'm sorry, was my OTP bias showing a bit there? Let me just go tuck that in.

So Billy and Trini go off to "study" and we discover Billy missed ONE question on the test (what, where there like five questions on a two page test? We assume Mrs. Applebee just asks really long, drawn out questions... or can't do math). The question he missed was about bee classification in the insect kingdom.

Meanwhile, Jason, Zack, and Kim are playing basketball. Putties attack, of course, and we get some really awesome moves from each of them using the basketball as a weapon. Normally fight scenes bore me, but this one was pretty good. They seem to have a handle on things when Goldar shows up with more putties and the Glowing Rope of DOOM. The putties overwhelm the rangers and manage to tie them up. Kim is so little she could probably just slip down between Jason and Zack and get out, but she doesn't even try. It's okay. They all seem to have a thing for bondage on this show. We understand why they don't try too hard to get away.

Rita has sent down her Grumble Bee monster while Jason, Zack, and Kim are all tied up. Zordon was actually paying attention for a change and contacts Billy and Trini about the Grumble Bee and the tied-up rangers. Trini calls out the morphing call and off they go to fight! Together! Just the two of them! They confront the Bee and have a short conversation about the people in your neighborhood. They fight and Billy is weakened by the venom. We then discover the Grumble Bee has some kind of ultrasonic waves that overwhelm them. They bravely run away.

Back at the Command Center, Zordon tells them they have to fight the bee while Alpha tries to break through the Glowing Rope of DOOM to set the others free. Jason reassures them it's the right thing to do, so back to the fight they go. Grumble Bee shoots them with highly toxic... uh... silly string. Billy is affected, but he manages to continue to fight. Meanwhile, Alpha narrows some sort of beam and manages to cut the Glowing Rope of DOOM so the others join the fight. He then gets back to work on some sort of weapon. Apparently it's a case of battery-in-backwards again and he flips something around to finish the weapon. It looks just like a Super Soaker. He sends it to Billy while the others are incapacitated and Billy uses it to shoot foam all over the Bee. Apparently, it really is a Super Soaker.

Rita says, oddly, "Make the monster... giant." for a change. The Zords are called, they get the MegaZord, and then the Bee shoots them with that ultrasonic crap again. He looks more like he's doing the Care Bear stare than anything else. The MegaZord needs more power, they call the Power Sword, the Bee says it probably isn't real, and then he gets blown up good and proper. End of fight.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Zack both have pretty arms while sparring. Tommy shows up in a random five second appearance. Apparently he's been restoring the Angel Grove economy by winning a karate tournament. And then Billy comes bouncing in. No, literally, he bounces. He apparently got an A+ on his test and has been admitted to the Young Scientists of America Club. As if there were any doubt. Trini is very proud of him. Bulk and Skull are apparently flipping out at a table, both studying very hard. Skull is so stressed he's tearing pages out of the book and TSB and I flail and bite our hands and can't really handle this part. Books! You don't do that to books! NYAH! Bulk says if he doesn't get a C on the next test, Mrs. Applebee is going to make the six students with the highest grades tutor him all summer. Uh... I don't think she can just volunteer people like that? And way to punish the kids that actually do their work. Anyway, Zack counts the six rangers and then they all rush to attempt to help Bulk and Skull study. Skull is still tearing pages. I'm very bothered.

Lists!

2.5 fish.

Covered in food: nobody

Billy speak: Lots, though most of it's borderline.
"I'm most perplexed. I've never received a B before."

"I appreciate your efforts, but acceptance into the young scientists of America club is very important to me."

"It's a term which defines a specific order of insects, such as bees."

"The ultrasonic waves are too powerful. We have to find the monster's weakness."

"The venom is highly toxic. It's eating through my suit."

Episode 47- Reign of the Jellyfish

This episode made no sense. And it's not because we watched it at 8:30am because I've been up for hours and already had my caffeine. The episode... just didn't make sense. This would have been a beer-worthy episode. Except it's 8:30 in the morning.


So we start the episode with Ms. Applebee standing by a giant clear plastic ball. It's apparently a time capsule they will be burying. She has asked everyone to bring something to put in the time capsule. I'm trying to remember they're in high school here, but I'm failing at that.

Jason puts in a trophy. He says something about it representing physical fitness or strength or whatever? But I totally miss it because I'm so distracted by his arms. His very pretty pretty arms. Kim puts in a pink shirt to represent individuality and fashion. Ms. Applebee puts in a picture of the Power Rangers. We don't know where this picture comes from, but apparently they just pose for cameras at random with the power weapons? It's special. Anyway, moving on, we find out Zack is putting in a cd of music, Billy is putting in a personal computer he designed with all the latest software (so they can see how advanced their technology was... but by the time they dig the capsule up, it will be horribly outdated), and Trini puts in the newspaper from the day. The newspaper is called the Angel Grove Clarion, just for future reference.

Then Bulk and Skull come in. They want to put a sandwich in the time capsule. Not just any sandwich, but a special sandwich they call the Bulkwich. Nobody points out that said sandwich would be rotted, disgusting, and contaminate everything else in the time capsule. Instead they just laugh when Skull squirts mayonnaise all over Bulk. Ugh.

Meanwhile, Rita, who stalks the rangers and knows everything, wants Squatt and Baboo to go down and steal the time capsule so they can put a picture of her in it. She wants to be immortalized too. She also commands Finster make her a monster and he decides the Jellyfish will be a good one for this occasion.

Back at the *ahem* high school, Billy informs the girls they have the highest grades in the class so the five of them get to bury the time capsule. Are we surprised? Not really. They go to the park and find the designated location for burial, made obvious by the large sign on a pole in the ground that says "Time Capsule Here" with an arrow pointing down. There are no reporters, no teachers, no adults present at all. Nobody is documenting this time capsule burial in any way, shape, or form. Which is very convenient since they then get attacked by putties. David Yost really shines in this fight and he does some awesome moves with a shovel in hand. He was almost enough to distract me from the glory that is Jason's arms. Almost.

Squatt and Baboo get the time capsule and take a look inside. Apparently the very preppy, very pink shirt Kim put in is considered "grunge". Um. No. I was grunge. That wasn't grunge. Moving on, they start to take the capsule away but get confronted by the rangers. They freak out, drop the time capsule, and teleport away

Rita has sent down the Jellyfish monster thing which does not even remotely resemble a jellyfish. Zordon finally notices something is amiss in Angel Grove and calls the rangers. Way to be late to the party, Zordon. Though the rangers just went back to burying the time capsule and didn't bother to contact Zordon themselves after being attacked by putties and Squatt and Baboo trying to steal the time capsule, so this is an all around everybody communication fail.

We recognize the voice of Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and discover he's the same voice as the Cardiotron, Eye Guy, King Sphinx, as well as a bunch of others we haven't gotten to yet.

They go straight to the Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and discover he can spit venom that goes straight through their suits. They go immediately to the Command Center but it's okay because Alpha, in the five nanoseconds between realizing he could penetrate the suits and the rangers showing up, has created a coating for the suits that will keep out the toxin. Well okay then! Perhaps he lives in his own little time warp. Or something.

They go BACK to the Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish and he now has a bunch of Super Putties helping him out. They do an alright job fighting, but Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish uses an umbrella (a pretty little pink one to boot) to deflect the weapons. Yes, an umbrella. To deflect weapons. But wait, dear readers, it gets BETTER!

Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish SPINS the umbrella and sends the rangers to an alternate dimension! That's right, he can somehow do that. Did I mention he can teleport around too? What can't this monster do? Except look like an actual jellyfish, of course.

So they're in this alternate dimension and they are confronted with a see-through non-corporeal version of Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish. He can hit them, though. Even though he's non-corporeal. Nod and smile, dear readers. We did. A lot. So Billy theorizes that Looks-Nothing-Like-a-Jellyfish is actually time fazed and tells Zack to hit him with his canon. We don't know why this is supposed to work, it just is. And so Zack does. By doing so, everybody is pulled out of the alternate dimension. Fishy fish looks-nothing-like-a-fish!

Rita makes him grow, they call the Zords, and they fight for a bit. Then they call the MegaZord. Then they fight for a bit. Then they win. Surprised? Yeah, neither are we.

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie rewards the rangers with five cold glasses of something to drink, on the house, because they worked hard to bury the time capsule. Bulk and Skull come running in with a very large sandwich, apparently the Bulkwich. They've finally finished making it, but Jason informs them the capsule has already been buried. Still nobody mentions rotted food. In disappointment, Bulk and Skull drop the sandwich on their heads and then get in a food fight. Everybody laughs.

The rangers hope for a future free of war, crime, prejudice, and a bunch of other stuff that is very noble, but not likely to happen... though I certainly wish I could live in the Star Trek Utopia. And that's the end of that.

List time!

4 fish, solid. It was just... it made no sense.

Because we are recapping during the day right now, Emo Kid is around and watching. This episode gets a special Emo Kid Rating of "fun".

No Billy speak really.

Covered in food: Bulk in mayonnaise and then Bulk and Skull in sandwich.

Fic we want to read: SPD traveling from New Tech City to Angel Grove (can't be that far away, they both suffer from geography making no sense) to dig up the time capsule. Hilarity should ensue.

Episode 46 - To Flea Or Not To Flee

We open in the Youth Center. Zack is collecting donations, and amazingly, he isn't wearing any black. We're almost too busy being shocked by this to realize that Zack is collecting donations to save the Youth Center. Apparently it's going out of business. We have two theories on this. First, we haven't had a martial arts tournament in a while, so maybe the boys should get on that. Alternately, the Rangers could just start paying for their food and drinks. That would probably help them.

Jason walks in carrying a puppy. We're confused as to why he's carrying it, but he's showing off his arms nicely, so we can't really complain about that. Plus, the dog is really cute. Puppy! Meanwhile, at the high school, Bulk and Skull find a reward poster for the dog. Gee, I wonder how the Youth Center will be saved? Skull also has really ridiculous hair.

Up on the moon, Rita has found footage of a monster that can be used! Or else the Zyu2 footage arrived. We really need to watch Sentai. Maybe in 2015 after we finish RPM. Rita is having Finster use the monstermatic machine to create a Fighting Flea, that actually just looks like a lobster. Squatt is all excited, and actually says that "it's launcheroonie time!"

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie is being really nice, and the Rangers keep going on about how they can't let him close. Just pay your damn bill, Rangers! Jason realizes that he should take the dog for a walk, and Kim volunteers to go with him. So Jason carries the dog out to the park. It's called a walk, not a carry. But it shows off his arms, so.

Rita zaps the dog with the flea monster, and Jason then starts itching. While he's being distracted by itching, Bulk and Skull steal the dog, as they want to claim the reward.

Goldar starts monologing about how now it is time to destroy the Red Ranger. Oh, Goldar, you are a little obsessed, aren't you?

Putties show up to attack Kim and Jason, and as soon as the Putties touch Jason, they get covered with fleas. They stop fighting to go fall on the ground and start itching. Kim and Jason realize that something is wrong, so they go to the Command Center, where Zordon provides Jason with a temporary antidote. If he comes back in contact with the monster, he will start itching again. Jason starts admiring his arms and the giant rash that covers them.

Bulk and Skull call the number for the reward. They have to go to a phone booth. Which... oh my god, we are SO OLD. Just as they start calling, Rita has the flea monster jump off the dog, and it attacks them. It sounds just like Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks.

The Rangers split up. Jason and Kim go to look for the dog, Billy goes to create a better antidote, and Trini and Zack go to the Youth Center. The Flea monster goes to attack Jason, because he thinks he's tasty. We can agree with that. As soon as the monster shows up, Jason starts itching, which apparently means he has to start doing flips. IDK.

The other Rangers show up, and there's a giant fight in a junkyard. I feel as though they should be singing and then turning into children. Yes, this is just an excuse to link to High School Musical. Do not judge us.

Billy has found an antidote, so Jason stops itching, and then Rita makes the Flea grow. For some reason, the fight is in slow motion. Hmm. I guess they had time to kill.

After winning the battle (Power Sword for the win!) the Rangers go back to the Youth Center, where Ernie is feeding the dog chili. The dog's owner shows up, and thanks them for finding Pierre, and asks who to give the reward to. The Rangers say Ernie, and then they can keep the Juice Bar open! I still don't see how this fixes Ernie's problem, especially when he immediately gives the Rangers pizza and soda on the house.

Bulk and Skull show up, still itching. Billy wonders if he should give them the cure, and so they go and give them FLEA COLLARS that they have to wear for a WEEK. OMGWTF WHY ARE THEY SUCH BULLIES?!

Fish: 3.5 This was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "Ernie's operating expenses far exceeded his revenues."
Trini Translation: "He's broke." (Seriously, Kim needed that translated?)

Covered in: Bulk, Skull and Jason get covered in fleas.

Episode 45- Crystal of Nightmares

Just a note: We were previously using the Ranger Central episode list and they have just recently updated their order. We were out of order. So now we're trying to get it back in sync. Oh, and I has a TSB! In person! At my place of residence! So this is LIVE capping. :D

So we're up to Crystal of Nightmares now. The best part of this episode is the homoerotic pillow fight between Jason, Zack, and Billy. Aw, boys.

So we start off with Trini and Kim stressing over an upcoming major science test. Billy, Jason, and Zack, however, are relaxed and have sly smiles. They've plotted something. Cheating off Billy perhaps? They certainly look like they have nefarious plans. But no, actually it's just that Billy's uncle has given them use of two of his cabins for the weekend and the rangers are going to spend all of it studying. (TSB says "studying" is clearly code for something else.)

Bulk and Skull snoop on the rangers and then get covered in bird poop. It's more than a little disgusting.

So they go up to the cabin and spend some time lounging around studying. Eventually they decide to take a break and have dinner. The show FAILS by having Jason want a big burger, Trini want Chinese food, and Kim requesting only a salad. Way to stereotype, show! Zack throws us for a loop by asking if they can have liver. Liver? Really?

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull dress up in drag and put on maid uniforms to sneak into the rangers rooms. They're looking for the science notes. Bulk starts digging through bags while Skull actually cleans. We learn Bulk is allergic to dust, and then the rangers come back. Bulk and Skull hide under Jason's bed. The boys bid the girls goodnight (immediately after dinner? What are you, two?) and then Zack shows off. He dances. For Billy and Jason. It can only be described as he's putting on quite a show for his boyfriends. Billy sits with a pillow on his lap (ahem ahem) and then throws it at Zack. The most homoerotic pillow fight ensues. It's spectacular.

Then they all just... go to bed. We can't complain too much, however, because Zack is wearing the tiniest of tiny shirts and Jason is shirtless. Mmmmboys. I, uh, could pause it right there for awhile. But alas, the recap must go on, despite the pretty pretty boys (and Jason's really nice arms).

Goldar is in a cave while everyone sleeps and he's using the Crystal of Nightmares, all glowy and covered in lightning, to give the rangers nightmares. He's going to use the nightmares to take away the confidence of all the rangers. Although we question the viability of this plan. I mean, Billy never really had self confidence in the first place? But okay, we'll go with it, because we're still happy about the homoerotic pillow fight. Though we are forcibly reminded of the Mirror of Regret. Yes, we know it technically hasn't happened yet in canon. We don't care. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. Nod and smile.

The nightmares consist of flashbacks. Billy flashes back to the Terror Toad. Zack flashes back to his birthday and the Nasty Knight. Kim dreams about being trapped in a bottle during her Really Bad Day (but at least they cut out her screaming for Tommy). Jason's nightmare is being trapped in the dark dimension where Goldar did inappropriate things to him. Trini's nightmare is the rangers getting covered in something that looks like silly string and we cannot for the life of us figure out which episode it's from. Any ideas?

Bulk and Skull, meanwhile, are asleep under Jason's bed and they dream about being food-related superheroes (enough with the fatphobia show) and they pilot the MegaZord. Then they crash. And somehow this is a nightmare.

Then all the rangers have a communal dream that Zordon takes their powers away. They freak out and in the morning they act as if they're still terrified. Kim is even hesitant to open the door for the boys. You would think they'd all be relieved to wake up and realize it was just dreams? But apparently not. Zordon, now that it's morning, FINALLY notices Goldar is using the Crystal of Nightmares. Zordon!Fail! He contacts the rangers and tells them the only way to regain their confidence is to destroy the crystal. They all freak out and he teleports them to the cave anyway. We get the shot from my icon (aw, icon!) and then they all have to fight a bunch of putties. They suck. It's like Day of the Dumpster all over again.

Billy cops a feel on Trini and then Jason runs for the mouth of the cave. He gets in and is confronted by Goldar. He fights him and manages to destroy the crystal and suddenly they're all confident again. That's it? Really? Wow was that easy. Although I won't complain too much because Jason looks really good in that shot. Austin St. John? You were a very attractive young man.

They beat the putties and then Goldar and Scorpina go after them. They don't even get a hit in before Rita makes them grow and then we get yet another extremely long Zord summoning sequence. They get their asses handed to them but then Jason calls on the Power Sword and, withing two or three hits, Goldar and Scorpina go running.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are awoken by the real maid and they start screaming because it's time for the test. They take off at a run and then we see everybody the following day. Mrs. Applebee is sick so Principal Caplan is handing out the graded tests. Seriously, Angel Grove High, hire another teacher okay? Having two AND a principal won't kill you, I promise.

The rangers all get A's, of course, and then Bulk and Skull get called to the front of the classroom. Principal Caplan humiliates them in front of the entire class by showing everybody their F's. He then gives them detention forever. Um... wow. If any staff member did that to MY kid, I'd take it to the highest authority I had to in order to get an apology and action taken against said staff member. That's just not okay. But we're supposed to think it is, and then Bulk sneezes and blows off Principal Caplan's toupee. Oh show. Fail a little harder.

List time!
2.5 fish. It was overall relatively consistent, but we couldn't identify Trini's nightmare episode, Billy never HAD self confidence in the first place, and then the outrageous behaviour of Principal Caplan in regards to Bulk and Skull.

Billy speak: none really... he had a few lines that were borderline, but nothing I considered overly intellectual.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in bird poop, which isn't food, but it had to go somewhere. Ew.

Episode 37- Clean-Up Club

Today on Power Rangers we are, once again, reminded that Angel Grove lacks quality education. And that we're old.

We start out in Ms. Applebee's class. She is the only teacher employed by Angel Grove High School and there is, apparently, only one very large classroom. Today they are doing video documentaries. On VHS tapes. Oh god we are so OLD.

Skull is filming Bulk. That is apparently going to be their documentary.

Trini does a documentary on pollution. Ms. Applebee agrees it's a disturbing trend and Trini proposes a Clean-Up Club to get cracking on all that pollution in Angel Grove. The other rangers immediately volunteer to join the club.

Meanwhile, Rita is spying on them. Per usual. She decides to foil their recycling plans by creating and sending down the Polluticorn monster. It's a unicorn with claws that... pollutes. Really? On Power Rangers? Okay, he's kind of lame here, but we think he would be ten times more awesome as a Captain Planet monster. He would totally work there. Here, not so much.

We then see them all at the Youth Center later that day. They're wearing matching green shirts that say Clean-Up Club. Those got made awfully fast. Jason and Zack karate chop some cans and Billy is painting some recycle bins for the Juice Bar. Apparently nobody has ever recycled in Angel Grove before. Ever. Despite the last attempt at cleaning up pollution.

The kids all head to a park to do some clean up and it is absolutely TRASHED. I've never seen anything look that bad, even with horrible litter, unless a tornado just hit. Or it was my kids' bedroom. Either way, their park has NEVER looked this bad. Billy takes a soil sample and puts it in some solution in a test tube and it immediately turns green, which means the park is totally polluted. First of all, soil samples don't work that way. Second of all, SCIENCE does not work that way.

Lots of acrobatics ensue while the rangers clean up the gigantic mess, and all without wearing gloves. I shudder at the thought. Mostly it seems to be just paper lying about, so it fills up a bunch of trash bags, but doesn't take that long to clean. Billy then immediately tests the soil again (not how it works, Billy) and magically it comes out clean, all pollution gone. NOT HOW IT WORKS, SHOW!

Rita, however, interrupts. She sends down some putties and a really awesome fight scene takes place amidst the trash. Billy is really improving his fighting skills here. They also let David Yost show off his mad gymnastics skills and I am very impressed. I wish they'd let him show off like that more often. They do a pyramid of awesome and Kim and Trini tag team some putties. Then Jason has really nice arms. And a nice ass. But mostly nice arms.

Goldar and Scorpina head down with Polluticorn and the rangers morph. Jason has gotten really good at his "It's morphin time!" exclamations and we assume he's taken some lessons from Tommy. Tommy is good at getting Jason enthusiastic about things. They fight and then end up going back to the Command Center, where Zordon is running an analysis on the Polluticorn.

Billy is asked to decipher the results, calls Zordon "Sir", and then they waste a lot of paper. All for Billy to discover they need to cut off the Polluticorn's horn to stop him. So they morph and go fight him at a recycling plant. I have to wonder though... if there wasn't any recycling in Angel Grove before, why do they have a huge recycling plant? While I ponder these pressing questions, Jason goes to fight Polluticorn on his own while the others go after Goldar and Scorpina. It's a pretty impressive fight, actually.

Jason has to pull out the Shield of Cheap Bling and then Rita makes Polluticorn grow, lest Jason and his Shield of Cheap Bling stop him. They have the shortest Zord summoning sequence ever and then beat him with just the MegaZord. It's really pretty cool to see them beat a monster with just the MegaZord again. I missed it's awesomeness.

After the fight, back at the Youth Center, they watch Reporter Guy report on the latest monster attack. They sure do watch themselves a lot. Deciding it's time to get working, they go down and start adding to large stacks of papers, plastic bottles, and soda cans. Whomever thought it was a good idea to stack 500 soda cans needs to be smacked upside their head. We suspect it was Billy, as he's the only one stacking, but we can't be sure. This, of course, will not end well.

And right on cue, in walk Bulk and Skull. Skull is still filming Bulk, who's trying to appear helpful. Skull falls into the papers and bottles and Bulk, laughing, trips over a tire and knocks down the entire soda can tower. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

In school the following day, in the only class run by the only teacher, she very rudely tells Bulk it's his turn. Skull hands over the VHS tape (OMGwearesoOLD) and it's a video that makes Bulk look really really bad. Ms. Applebee, apparently gunning for the Worst Teacher of the Year award, laughs at them. Bulk then attempts to chase Skull out of the classroom but can't get out of his desk because he is, apparently, too fat. Everyone laughs some more. Way to go with the fat jokes, Power Rangers.

All in all, we give this episode only 1.5 fish. It's pretty consistent overall and the only real glaringly obvious problem with it is the science. Science does not work how Billy pretends it works.

Billy Speak: "I'm deeply concerned about the ecological ramifications of ozone depletion, acid rain, deforestation and the loss of our top soils."

"I'm using a special mixture of totally organic paint, pigmented with various natural substances."

"This kind of wanton disregard is so destructive to such a fragile ecosystem."

"My analysis shows that the Polluticorn derives its power from its horn."

Covered in food: nobody (though Bulk is covered in recycling and garbage bags, but not food)... we may have to retire this category soon.

Discussion question: Why was there a large recycling plant if nobody recycled before Trini started the Clean-Up Club? Also, if they only intend to recycle one day a week (as stated with the club), what do they do the rest of the time?

Episode 27- Island of Illusion Part 1

Okay, this is one of my favourite episodes... well, the two combined. It's ridiculous, but it's also awesome and fun.

We start off with Zack showing off some wicked dance moves in practice for the upcoming Dance Competition. Yay! Zack features and for once Angel Grove has something going on that does not pertain to martial arts! Trini, Kim, and Jason are checking out Zack's moves when Bulk and Skull come up and insult Zack. Poor Zack. He knocks into Kim and then Kim's pink drink (milkshake perhaps?) is spilled all over Bulk. Zack reveals that he suffers from low self esteem and is sure he'll mess up at the competition.

Bulk and Zack end up in an impromptu dance competition. This didn't end well last time and we're sure it won't this time either. Sure enough, it doesn't. Bulk falls into some pillars, knocks everything down, and people laugh. Zack says Bulk just fell, just like he'll do at the competition. Zack is full of Emo today.

Rita, meanwhile, is apparently fed up with loosing and decides she's going to summon her own monsters. She tells all her minions her plan and waits while they jump all over her telling her what a good plan it is.

She starts to summon Mutitis and it causes a big earthquake down in Angel Grove. In the Youth Center, people go running willy nilly. Ernie hates when this happens and takes cover. The Rangers, meanwhile, cling to each other in the middle of the room and then use the communicators to contact Zordon. Zordon tells them Rita is up to no good and they must find Zack immediately. So they run out of the Youth Center. They could have just used the communicators again, but oh well. Tommy is stopped at the door when two small children he had been teaching in a class call for him. They're scared. I really give Tommy a lot of credit here. He takes responsibility and stays behind with the kids. Good for you, Tommy!

The others find Zack pretty quickly. The earthquake has stopped and he's still being all emo. They don't even really get a chance to talk before they're surrounded by putties! It's an awesome fight, really. Everybody kicks major butt all on their own and Zack even takes out three at once! But Goldar and Scorpina show up and they know they have to morph if they stand a chance.

Rita finishes summoning Mutitis and we discover he looks like a red skull. Or a red version of Rito. Or a Zedd prototype. We're not sure. They summon the Zords and Jason calls him "Ugly Man". That's... real creative there, Jason.

Rita starts gloating a little early. She tells Finster she made her own monster and it's winning. You can just hear the "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah" in her voice, too. She travels to Earth to watch the fight and we're filled with glee! Rita on Earth is always made of win.

Lokar then shows up. He's a big blue head floating in the sky with some kind of spikes for hair. He's really cool and we wish there had been more Lokar. He could have been awesome in Mystic Force, actually. He eclipses the sun and we have to wonder why the MegaZord isn't affected, being solar powered and all.

His power is the Breath of Doom. Seriously? That's... special. He mutates Mutitis and makes him even uglier. Tommy is summoned and requests Ernie stay with the no-longer-terrified children. He shows up and summons DragonZord, but just in time for both DragonZord and MegaZord to be covered in some kind of toxic foam. It looks like shaving cream, actually, but whatever. The Zords fall down and now, fifteen minutes into a twenty minute episode titled Island of Illusion, the Rangers are thrown into another dimension only to land on, well, the Island of Illusion.

We don't know how they got there or why toxic foam apparently equals immediate death-to-zords, but we nod and smile. They wander around for awhile, everybody clinging to Jason. We can appreciate that. We might cling to him and his delicious arms too. Kim says it seems like the bushes have eyes and we are shown that, yes, yes they do have eyes. Or rather, there is somebody hiding in the bushes so it looks like they have eyes.

The Rangers hear a horrible noise and Trini comments on it being seriously out of tune. Not where it came from, not what made it in the first place, but that it's off key. Priorities, Trini. They stumble upon a Little Person and Kim starts to say "Rita sent us..." when he flips out. He says friends of Rita are no friends of his and disappears. We can't blame him. I wouldn't stick around either. Unfortunately, he also rhymes. Everything.

The Rangers then see previous monsters they've fought. Pudgy Pig is there and I squeeled in delight. TSB was saddened to realize there is no Terror Toad, however. Zack starts to flip out a little, though. Because they're on an island apparently. And he sees an out-of-tune Little Person. But mostly it's the island.

Zack then stumbles upon a snake and starts really flipping out. He's whimpering and sort of screaming and is just paralyzed with fear. We wonder why they went with snakes. Not but four episodes ago we discovered Zack is terrified of spiders. They could have used that, but oh well.

He says they can't fight something like snakes and we think that's just ridiculous. Of course you can fight snakes! Shoot, get one of your non-afraid friends to go pick it up and move it if it's that bad. Mind, his non-afraid friends can't even see the snake, so I guess that wouldn't work in this particular situation. We then get Ominous Goldar speaking from the sky, tearing down what little confidence remained. Quagmire, the Little Person from earlier, appears and warns them of impending danger. Zack, now kicked while he's down, begins to fade.

And that's the end of part one. It really was rather ridiculous, wasn't it?

Overall, 3.5 fish. Tommy was responsible so we couldn't help but lower the fish a little for that. Also it's just a great two parter so that probably affected it here.

Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in some pink drink

Billy Speak: "Zack seems to be experiencing a transient deficiency in self esteem."
"There must be a major destabilization of a trophospheric(?) pressure zone."
"It would appear that we all survived the transdimensional journey intact."
"He means your loss of confidence is causing your body to dematerialize!"

Fic we want: Billy fixing the Zords so they are no longer solar powered, which would explain why they were unaffected by Lokar's eclipse.

Episode 26 - Gung Ho!

You know, for an episode about Tommy and Jason, this one actually wasn't that bad! That is probably because a) most of the episode features them showing off their mad martial arts skills and b) they're shirtless for a lot of it. All good things, as far as we're concerned.

Anyway, like the last Jason centric episode, this one is about Jason (and Tommy!) learning the importance of cooperation and teamwork. And like the last one, we have no idea why they chose that particular moral for the episode. I mean, yes, Jason and Tommy need to learn to get along. But they weren't really having any problems with it in the last few episodes, and it doesn't work in context.

Tommy and Jason are preparing for the Team Ninja Finals, even though they just had a Martial Arts Expo just a few episodes ago. Angel Grove has a lot of martial arts competitions. One of these days I will post my theory about how Angel Grove is secretly a country, and this episode just backs up that theory. It would explain the wacky geography, maybe.

The boys are sparring against each other, and apparently this is preventing them from cooperating. No shit. They're sparring AGAINST each other. Unless they were doing an intricate kata, they shouldn't really be cooperating at that exact moment. I mean, for real. If they were practicing against two others, then yes, it would work, but they're both trying to beat the other person at that exact moment, so I have no idea what they're going on about.

The other Rangers are all watching them spar (and honestly, we can't blame them. They're both quite pretty at this point in time) and Trini gives them a lecture about how Gung Ho is Chinese for working together. A quick google search will point out that while the two characters in that phrase do mean "work" and "together" but they don't count as an official phrase. (So speaks wikipedia, but the librarian in me cries typing that sentence.) It is however a motto for the Chinese Industrial Cooperative Society. We'll totally give the show credit for it anyway.

Before Jason and Tommy can roll their eyes too much, Bulk and Skull show up in ridiculous outfits. Bulk is all pimped out, and Skull is a referee. Apparently they're sponsoring their own team of ninjas in the competition, and we get to watch the two ringers spar. They're not bad, and Tommy and Jason look nervous. Then Bulk gets knocked over. *sigh* But we have a few questions. This is supposedly the finals, so how come Jason and Tommy are just seeing these guys now? If they were having trouble working together before, how come it didn't affect them getting to the finals? And if they need to be sponsored to be in the competition, who is sponsoring the Rangers?

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita is all excited for her super putties, and we're incredibly excited, because they remembered what happened last episode! Except wait, it looks like the Frankenstein monster they blew up in an extremely gory fashion is alive and well. So close, show! So close!

We switch to Trini and Kim walking in the park, and Trini starts talking about how Zack is helping the boys train, and... well, isn't Trini supposed to be a martial artist herself? Isn't that her big defining characteristic? Apparently she can't be bothered, or else the show just doesn't want to showcase her skills. They get attacked by the all new super putties, and promptly get their asses kicked. In a rare moment of actually remembering what the communicators are for, Kimberly calls Zordon and asked for help. Zordon immediately pages the other Rangers (and I briefly need to point out how ANCIENT Billy's laptop is. OMG we are SO OLD) and they run out of the Youth Center to go help the girls.

Queenriley immediately flails because Billy went to protect Trini. OTP, y'all. OTP. (Even if Trini should be able to take care of herself. I mean, really.)

Back at the Command Center, the Rangers demand some answers from Zordon. Putties haven't kicked their asses since episode 1. Zordon explains about the Super Putties, and then tells Tommy and Jason that they must go retrieve new weapons to defeat the putties, while the others go morph and fight them. Apparently Tommy and Jason retrieving new weapons involves tearing the map in half so that they can learn to cooperate. We get that learning to cooperate is important, but maybe they could do that at a time where the rest of the team isn't in danger? I mean, seriously. We have to admit that the Super Putties are pretty awesome. If they get broken, they reform into two new putties! How awesome is that?

While four of the Rangers are getting beaten up by a bunch of clay goons, Tommy and Jason discover a rock, and Jason is all "Look at me! I found a rock!" and Tommy is "not without my half of the map, you didn't!" and for real, just get over it. We're assuming that they're still on Earth, but the geography of this makes no sense, although we supposed we shouldn't be surprised by that. Apparently there's some shrine to dinosaurs (Sabre-toothed tigers and Mastodons still ARE NOT DINOSAURS) that nobody has discovered. Jason comments that it's too easy, and apparently he's never seen a movie in his life, because he doesn't know that means they're about to get attacked.

And they are! It's Titanus, although we don't know that yet. They morph, and then fall down a hill. Apparently to solve all their teamwork problems, Jason gives his sword to Tommy and Tommy gives his shield to Jason, and then Jason runs up the hill and grabs the new weapons. We're not quite sure how a sword is a long distance weapon, but apparently Tommy uses it to fire some sort of energy, but we've seen him do that before with his Dragon Daggers, so IDK. They teleport to the other Rangers and give them the new weapons, which are weird slingshot shaped guns, and then they blow up the putties. The end. Hey, there wasn't an actual monster this episode! Wacky! And we've still got... a lot of time left!

We then return to the Youth Center, for the highlight of the episode. More sparring! Except shirtless this time. Right before the competition begins, Zordon rings them, and they answer their communicators in the middle of the Youth Center, and nobody notices. Seriously, Zordon is drugging the water or something. He tells them Titanus was the guardian and will be an ally.

Jason and Tommy win the competition, and then Bulk gets covered in water. We still have no idea why they chose this episode to be Jason's second "learn to work together" episode. We can't wait until Jason gets an episode that isn't about that.

Lists!

This episode gets 4 fish. It isn't quite as ridiculous as the Bench Pressing one, and we feel that we should be nicer because it actually mostly remembers what happens in the episode before, but it's pretty ridiculous. Amazingly, we didn't actually mind Tommy in this episode. This was pretty necessary for his involvement in the team, but the execution was pretty flawed.

Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in water. Surprise, surprise.

Episode 22 - The Trouble With Shellshock

Well, we thought about taking a week off after our Green With Evil marathon last weekend, but the Power Rangers compels us! This episode opens with a basketball game, as Zack and Tommy compete for Jason's affection. Or at least we're pretty sure that's what they're competing over. It might actually just be that the loser buys lunch, but we like our version better. We love that they're playing basketball! The boys all have really nice arms, and you know how we feel about that. And Zack's idea of trash talk is amazing.

While they play, Squatt shows up to monologue about how he and Baboo are going to make the most awesome monster ever to impress Rita. They're actually right! The monster they make is awesome. Not quite as awesome as Pudgy Pig or Terror Toad, but still great. It's a turtle with a traffic light stuck in it's neck, and it has a ton of wacky weapons, like a random hook, a baseball bat, and a cannon. They're making this monster in secret while Rita sleeps, although since she's snoring pretty loudly I don't know why they're so worried about accidentally waking her. Baboo says they should call the monster "Greta" or "Pitoush" (or at least we think that's what it says, it's unclear) but Squatt suggest Shellshock instead, and Baboo wisely listens to him.

Back at the basketball game, Bulk and Skull show up to taunt the Rangers, who have apparently decided to stop pretending to be nice to them, and instead just suggest they go back to the circus they came from. Skull wonders if the circus is actually in town, and Bulk tells him that they're being made fun of. A brief tussle ensues, and Skull and Bulk end up being thrown into the random hot dog cart and they end up covered in ketchup, mustard and relish, and even though Kimberly was the one to throw them into it, they're told that they need to pay for it, and seriously, why so mean to them? Tommy goes off to a martial arts class, and then Putties and Shellshock attack.

Really, Squatt and Baboo should make monsters more often, because Shellshock does really well. He hits Trini with a "Go Ray" which makes her run away from the battle. And then he shoots baseballs at the Rangers, before he hits Zack, Billy and Kimberly with a freeze ray, and they are turned into statues. Oddly, it looked like Jason was hit by the ray as well, but he appears to be fine. Zordon appears to actually be paying attention for once, as the team is teleported to the Command Center, where Zordon tells Jason that the only way to unfreeze the others is to get some random flower and he's already sent Trini on the quest. Wait, what? This is a brand new monster, how does Zordon know about the cure already? And when did he have time to tell Trini this at all? We call fish.

Goldar tells Squatt and Baboo that Rita will be pissed at them for creating a monster without permission, but when Rita wakes up she's proud that they managed to do so well. Jealous!Goldar is awesome. She immediately sends Shellshock back to Earth, having made it grow so that it can better trash Angel Grove. Even better, Shellshock makes a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles joke. Win.

While Jason goes to battle Shellshock on his own, Tommy is at the Youth Center showing off. Apparently "Class" was a codeword for "wanting to show off." He isn't wearing his communicator either, so he doesn't hear the cry for help. This will be consistent with Tommy's character, so we can't add fish for it.

Meanwhile, Trini is still searching for the random flower, and Zordon tells her he is sending her the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord to help her, and all sense leaves this episode. Apparently the Zord gives her the ability to summon a flower? Or telekinesis? We really have no idea, except suddenly the flowers are in her hand. I hope it actually gives her telekinesis, that's the mutant power I would want if I could choose. Whatever it is, the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord would be really useful around Mother's Day, because finding decent flowers is hard. Tommy is finally done showing off, so he answers his communicator and goes to join the battle, but almost immediately both zords get frozen by Shellshock. He's doing pretty well for himself!

But wait, the battle isn't over yet! Trini, who still can't stop jogging, leaps to the top of Shellshock's head and... shakes the pollen on it? Apparently allergies save the day, as the Zords and the other Rangers are all unfrozen, and Trini is no longer compelled to run. Jason shoots the monster once, and it explodes. We're not sure if we should give him the credit for blowing up the monster, or Trini, for covering it with pollen. I'm inclined to say Trini, because allergies suck.

Now that they've defeated the monster, Zack and Tommy still haven't figured out who gets to claim Jason for themselves, or who has to pay for lunch, so we return to the basketball game. There's some more trash talk, and Zack wins! He starts making fun of Tommy, but then Billy interferes, and QueenRiley starts squealing because Billy is going to play basketball. Billy unleashes the greatest trash talk ever ("It's time for my vernacular spectacular veracious(?) bodacious autophonic morphinomic jam") and does a slam dunk, and the episode ends.


We have to go with 3.5 fish for this one. Okay, so the monster gets beaten by a pollen allergy, but that is still amazing. Most of the fish comes from the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord helping summon the flower.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in various hot dog related things.

Billy speak: Billy's awesome trash talk, as quoted above.

Questions that need to be answered: If the Saber-Toothed Tiger Zord lets you summon flowers, what do the spirits of the other Zords do?