Episode 37- Clean-Up Club

Today on Power Rangers we are, once again, reminded that Angel Grove lacks quality education. And that we're old.

We start out in Ms. Applebee's class. She is the only teacher employed by Angel Grove High School and there is, apparently, only one very large classroom. Today they are doing video documentaries. On VHS tapes. Oh god we are so OLD.

Skull is filming Bulk. That is apparently going to be their documentary.

Trini does a documentary on pollution. Ms. Applebee agrees it's a disturbing trend and Trini proposes a Clean-Up Club to get cracking on all that pollution in Angel Grove. The other rangers immediately volunteer to join the club.

Meanwhile, Rita is spying on them. Per usual. She decides to foil their recycling plans by creating and sending down the Polluticorn monster. It's a unicorn with claws that... pollutes. Really? On Power Rangers? Okay, he's kind of lame here, but we think he would be ten times more awesome as a Captain Planet monster. He would totally work there. Here, not so much.

We then see them all at the Youth Center later that day. They're wearing matching green shirts that say Clean-Up Club. Those got made awfully fast. Jason and Zack karate chop some cans and Billy is painting some recycle bins for the Juice Bar. Apparently nobody has ever recycled in Angel Grove before. Ever. Despite the last attempt at cleaning up pollution.

The kids all head to a park to do some clean up and it is absolutely TRASHED. I've never seen anything look that bad, even with horrible litter, unless a tornado just hit. Or it was my kids' bedroom. Either way, their park has NEVER looked this bad. Billy takes a soil sample and puts it in some solution in a test tube and it immediately turns green, which means the park is totally polluted. First of all, soil samples don't work that way. Second of all, SCIENCE does not work that way.

Lots of acrobatics ensue while the rangers clean up the gigantic mess, and all without wearing gloves. I shudder at the thought. Mostly it seems to be just paper lying about, so it fills up a bunch of trash bags, but doesn't take that long to clean. Billy then immediately tests the soil again (not how it works, Billy) and magically it comes out clean, all pollution gone. NOT HOW IT WORKS, SHOW!

Rita, however, interrupts. She sends down some putties and a really awesome fight scene takes place amidst the trash. Billy is really improving his fighting skills here. They also let David Yost show off his mad gymnastics skills and I am very impressed. I wish they'd let him show off like that more often. They do a pyramid of awesome and Kim and Trini tag team some putties. Then Jason has really nice arms. And a nice ass. But mostly nice arms.

Goldar and Scorpina head down with Polluticorn and the rangers morph. Jason has gotten really good at his "It's morphin time!" exclamations and we assume he's taken some lessons from Tommy. Tommy is good at getting Jason enthusiastic about things. They fight and then end up going back to the Command Center, where Zordon is running an analysis on the Polluticorn.

Billy is asked to decipher the results, calls Zordon "Sir", and then they waste a lot of paper. All for Billy to discover they need to cut off the Polluticorn's horn to stop him. So they morph and go fight him at a recycling plant. I have to wonder though... if there wasn't any recycling in Angel Grove before, why do they have a huge recycling plant? While I ponder these pressing questions, Jason goes to fight Polluticorn on his own while the others go after Goldar and Scorpina. It's a pretty impressive fight, actually.

Jason has to pull out the Shield of Cheap Bling and then Rita makes Polluticorn grow, lest Jason and his Shield of Cheap Bling stop him. They have the shortest Zord summoning sequence ever and then beat him with just the MegaZord. It's really pretty cool to see them beat a monster with just the MegaZord again. I missed it's awesomeness.

After the fight, back at the Youth Center, they watch Reporter Guy report on the latest monster attack. They sure do watch themselves a lot. Deciding it's time to get working, they go down and start adding to large stacks of papers, plastic bottles, and soda cans. Whomever thought it was a good idea to stack 500 soda cans needs to be smacked upside their head. We suspect it was Billy, as he's the only one stacking, but we can't be sure. This, of course, will not end well.

And right on cue, in walk Bulk and Skull. Skull is still filming Bulk, who's trying to appear helpful. Skull falls into the papers and bottles and Bulk, laughing, trips over a tire and knocks down the entire soda can tower. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

In school the following day, in the only class run by the only teacher, she very rudely tells Bulk it's his turn. Skull hands over the VHS tape (OMGwearesoOLD) and it's a video that makes Bulk look really really bad. Ms. Applebee, apparently gunning for the Worst Teacher of the Year award, laughs at them. Bulk then attempts to chase Skull out of the classroom but can't get out of his desk because he is, apparently, too fat. Everyone laughs some more. Way to go with the fat jokes, Power Rangers.

All in all, we give this episode only 1.5 fish. It's pretty consistent overall and the only real glaringly obvious problem with it is the science. Science does not work how Billy pretends it works.

Billy Speak: "I'm deeply concerned about the ecological ramifications of ozone depletion, acid rain, deforestation and the loss of our top soils."

"I'm using a special mixture of totally organic paint, pigmented with various natural substances."

"This kind of wanton disregard is so destructive to such a fragile ecosystem."

"My analysis shows that the Polluticorn derives its power from its horn."

Covered in food: nobody (though Bulk is covered in recycling and garbage bags, but not food)... we may have to retire this category soon.

Discussion question: Why was there a large recycling plant if nobody recycled before Trini started the Clean-Up Club? Also, if they only intend to recycle one day a week (as stated with the club), what do they do the rest of the time?