Episode 107 - Best Man For The Job

Today on Power Rangers - The exciting world of Angel Grove politics! The Geography makes even less sense than usual! Skull channels Bert from Mary Poppins and Tommy really can't get along with anyone!

Seriously, I love this episode.

We begin with the announcement that school elections are being held. Billy decides that Tommy would make a good president, and we wonder if Billy hit his head before the episode began. The slogan he comes up with for Tommy's campaign (Tommy Oliver - the best man for the job) just confirms this. Why would Tommy be good at being president? What are his qualifications? Has he expressed any interest in running for student council? I think not.

Aisha clearly has some sense, because she pulls Kim aside and tells her that sometimes the best man for the job is a woman, and that Kim should run for class president. This is slightly better. But do you know who would make an awesome class president? Aisha. You know, the one who already has control issues and wants to improve the community? Remember that? But instead Aisha decides that Kim should run and she'll manage the campaign.

Kimberly asks Tommy if he'd be okay with her running against him. He tells her it's fine, and I don't see why he has a say in it. *grumpy* But the fact is, he does support her in this, so he gets about a million points for that. The two of them agree to have a nice campaign since they're friends. Aww.

In an amazing nod to continuity, Skull would also like to be class president. He will get rid of homework, detention, and school if he's elected. Bulk ignores him for a minute, and then decides that he should run for president on a campaign promise of revealing the Rangers' secret identities. He seems to think these will be in the school files. ... Right. Skull sulks for a minute, and then supports Bulk. Don't worry, Skull, we're only a season and a half away from Bulk supporting you!

Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd start arguing over who could come up with a better plan to destroy the Rangers. Zedd goes off to plot, while Rita just pulls out the glowing rope of doom and puts a spell on Tommy and Kim to make them really try to beat each other. Because we need another lesson in learning to get along. (Common denominator of all of those spells - Tommy. HA.) As soon as they trip over the glowing rope of doom they begin to bicker, and clearly the writers' know exactly what Tommy's weaknesses are, because Kimberly hits the nail on the head with her insults.

The next day Tommy is drawing a mustache and a beard on Kimberly's poster. Billy shows up and is all horrified, but Tommy just then covers up his own handiwork with a sign of himself. Billy lets Tommy know that they're ahead in the polls by 15% (really? When was this poll? They just announced this earlier that day! And are we sure the polling data is accurate?) and Tommy tells him he wants to beat Kim by 50%. Kimberly and Aisha show up, and Kim and Tommy start arguing about who will win. They accost some random guy in the hall, and Tommy is all "You WILL vote for me, right?" except Kimberly grabs the same guy and informs Tommy he'll vote for her. "Win with Kim!" (Which is a much better slogan than the best man for the job. Anyway.) Billy walks off with Tommy, and Kimberly defaces Tommy's poster so that it says "Don't Vote For Dummy." *DEAD*

Bulk is campaigning in a top hat. How is he so awesome?

Rocky and Adam finally show up. We're pretty sure that they were off making out. Or they just didn't want to choose between their friends. I like the first theory better.

Tommy finds a note taped to his locker telling him to go to the park if he wants information on how to destroy Kimberly. He goes, and it is, of course, a trap. Goldar and some putties are waiting for him. There's a pretty awesome fight scene, but Tommy is quickly overwhelmed. Zordon actually notices something, and calls the other Rangers, who are busy confronting Kim about the negative campaign. Kimberly mocks Tommy for getting into trouble again, and then the five Rangers morph in the hallway. Secret identities? Really?

Kim and Tommy spend the whole fight arguing with each other. Goldar is totally confused, because they're completely ignoring him, trampling any putties who get in the way of their bickering. Goldar finally manages to get their attention by stealing Saba and Kimberly and Tommy continue to argue over whose fault it was.

Back at the Command Center, Billy has finally realized that maybe the two of them are under a spell. Zordon agrees, and says that smelling roses will fix it.

.....

Right. So they smell the roses and apologize to each other. Tommy stays behind to help Alpha build an electromagnet (I DON'T EVEN KNOW) to get Saba back, while the other Rangers go back to the park. Keep in mind they are at the park. This is important. Rita is actually on Earth (although we don't get to see her bicycle) and she uses Saba to summon the tigerzord. The other Rangers call the megazord and they fight. Except the fight scene keeps going between a fight at the lake and a fight in downtown. I'm pretty sure there aren't any giant buildings in the middle of Angel Grove park, except they clearly squash one during the fight. Angel Grove geography makes no sense at all.

Tommy shows up with the magnet and they get the sword back, and Rita teleports back to the moon. Everyone is happy.

Later, at the Youth Center the candidates are giving their speeches. Why this is being held at the juice bar and not in the school we.... have no idea. Kim is wrapping up a speech, where she has clearly outlined a plan and has done research. (Or Aisha has. I have a theory.) Tommy gets up to give his speech, and instead says that actually, Kim would be better at this than he would be, because she clearly has a plan, and he's just there to look pretty. So he forfeits.

Skull shows up, all one man band and announces Bulk. Bulk is all dressed up as Uncle Sam and makes his speech about the identity of the Rangers. Then the elections are held. I guess there are only 100 people in the whole school? But Kim wins. Bulk demands a recount, and the principal tells him that he only got one vote. Bulk glares at Skull, and Skull says that Kim made an awesome speech.

I am actually not too happy with this election - I would have liked Kim to win based on her awesome speech, and not just because Tommy dropped out and basically gave it to her. She did the research, and Tommy wasn't prepared. Basically, she won by default, and I'm just not okay with that.

Oh well.

Five episodes left in the season! We're getting there!

Fish: 3.5! Hey, we've gotten out of the high fish episodes!

Fic people should write us: President Aisha! And grownup!Skull/Kim!

Episode 105- Return of the Green Ranger - Part 2

Today, on the Tommy show, we continue to butcher history!

We open in 1760ish Angel Grove, where a very Australian girl (named Marissa) is hiding the Rangers in a wheelhouse. She is undisturbed by their clothes, their speech, and the fact that they claim to be from 200+ years in the future. (They keep claiming it is only 200 years in the past, but that doesn't work, unless Angel Grove was another British protectorate and not part of America. And, you know, at that point in time California was Spanish. Of course, the entire timeline is completely screwed up, so I don't know why it's bothering me as much as it is. But really, history doesn't work like that.)

The Rangers attempt to explain things to Marissa (including Kimberly and Aisha trying to explain the mall to her) and Billy gives her an actual explanation. We don't really get to see her reaction, because we cut back to the present, where good!Tommy is standing around glaring at evil!Tommy. We are rooting for evil!Tommy. (I'm sure you're surprised by this.) Tommy claims that his dark side vanished, and we just have to laugh. (Also, I'm a big supporter of Ellen Brand's Tommy has MPD theory, so I love this episode more than is probably healthy.)

In the cutest scene of the episode, Bulk and Skull are sleeping on the grass, cuddling together. When they wake up, Bulk immediately remembers the wizard and starts asking Skull about it. Skull is confused, and asks Bulk if he ate beans for lunch, because he always has weird dreams after eating beans. Oh, BOYS. *pets them*

Zordon has finally noticed that something is going on. We nearly fall off the couch in surprise.

And now for the highlight of the episode - TOMMY VS TOMMY. They morph (good!Tommy calls it out, and evil!Tommy is all "I was hoping you'd say that") and then they fight. For some reason there are sparks between them (literally) whenever they touch. (We assume it's the contact of so many fish, they cause sparks) You guys, we missed the shield of cheap bling. It is so nice to see it again. The wizard guy is all "mwahaha, Tommy, I'm surprised you're still fighting" and good!Tommy says something about the human spirit, but it's been like 30 seconds, we don't know why he's so pleased with himself. Still, Tommy ends up falling to his knees (that happens to him a lot) and he gets his powers drained (... that also happens to him a lot) and the wizard sends evil!Tommy off to annoy Zordon, while he goes back in time to annoy the other Rangers.

Back in 17whatever, Kimberly is claiming that Tommy will save them, and I'm saved from my disgust by the appearance of the chief redcoat - someone who appears to be Skull's ancestor! Aww, Skull! Kimberly is all confused. They try to explain things to ancestor!Skull, but he isn't listening and tries to arrest them. Oh, and for some reason, they can't call Zordon on their communicators. The fish must be jamming them. (Why they aren't just trying to walk to the Command Center we.... really don't know.)

At the Command Center, evil!Tommy is there to taunt Zordon in some very familiar footage. Except this time he doesn't short circuit Zordon. Clearly, a pale imitation of the original. But he does tell Zordon that wherever the Rangers are, history is repeating itself. Somehow, Zordon deduces that this means they've been sent back through time and now they have to work backwards and scan for their genetic markers, and look, I'm not making this up, I only report it.

On the moon, Rita and Zedd are dancing to celebrate! They are so adorable, I love them so much. Zedd's big plan for once they've officially destroyed the Rangers? He and Rita should have a baby! There is much squealing from us, but Rita is disgusted, and runs away to make Finster make a new potion to make Zedd get over that idea. Finster is all "ooh, a baby!" but he starts trying to do what Rita tells him. Zedd wants the baby to have Rita's looks and his brains, but sadly the eventual spawn will be the other way around.

In 17whatever, Adam grabs Marissa and drags her with them, as they run away. She clearly only believed them because the power of Adam's hotness compelled her to. To be fair, we can understand why. They start running through town, and Rocky jumps over a sheep. AMAZING. Marissa ends up leading them to her uncle's carriage that will carry them to safety (good thing Adam is so pretty, although how she summoned her uncle we.... really don't know.) and it turns out her uncle is Bulk's ancestor! Aww, Bulk! On Bulk's farm, Adam is making googly eyes at Marissa, while Rocky and Aisha are by the barn wall. Aisha tells Rocky his foot is tickling her, and it turns out that it isn't his foot (although, Rocky and Aisha playing footsie? yesplease.) but some rats. Aisha screams. (Wouldn't you?)

Then the wizard guy shows up, and turns the rats into rat monsters. The Rangers try to morph, but they can't, because they're 200 years before they met Zordon. WHAT. Look, they shouldn't have LOST their morphers just because they went into the past. It's also 200 years before they got those clothes - should they be wearing them? Also, the morphers tap into a morphin grid that is STILL THERE, so they should have been able to tap in anyway.

Back in the present, evil!Tommy has out his dragon dagger, and he is summoning the dragonzord. We are pleased. On the moon, Zedd has an evil laugh.

To be continued.

Fish: 4.5 (We needed a break from the 5 fish.)

Other things we usually keep track of: None!

Fic people should write us: I really would read the wacky adventures of time traveling Rangers. But I did just get fic where Kimberly tries to save Abraham Lincoln for my birthday, so you should all go read that.

Episode 104- Return of the Green Ranger Part 1

As if we didn't know already, today we learn that this show is secretly The Tommy Show.

So we start out in class where the only teacher in Angel Grove is giving an assignment. Over the three day weekend, they are supposed to write a paper on what time period in history they'd like to have lived in. Later, around what looks to be a patio table with a large umbrella, they talk about the assignment. Kim would like to live last year when she missed an awesome sale because she was sick. I'm not so happy with this new direction for Kim's character (or rather, taking her previous personality quirk to this extreme). Rocky would like to be a Viking. Too bad they'd probably try to kill him instead. Tommy would like to live in the time of King Arthur, probably because he doesn't know anything about it and can't tell fact from fiction. Adam is ADORABLE and wants to live in the Renaissance because it seems very ROMANTIC. Oh Adam. Be more adorable. I dare you. Aisha is conspicuously left out on our viewing of this discussion, because the last we ever hear of it Billy wants to be Albert Einstein's assistant. Oh Billy, you and Adam are about tied for adorableness here.

Adam mentions that he can come up with much better things to do with his three day weekend and Rocky agrees very enthusiastically (and with quite a lecherous glance). We're sure they've spent many a three day weekend doing... ahem... OTHER things. Like each other.

Zedd comes up with a plan, but he's going to have to butter up his wife to do it. Wifey Management Skills (TM my Spousal Person)? Zedd has them! At least until he says no wife will ever fail him. That's less with the Wifey Management and more with the Fail the Wifey. Zedd's plan is to get Rita to talk to her old creation that can manipulate time. He wants to send the rangers back in time so they'll be nothing but a memory. Except if he sends them back in time and they can't find a way to get back, they won't have existed in the current time to even be a memory. Then they wouldn't exist for Zedd to send them to the past. So... uh... wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. Just go with it, I suppose, because that's the only way time travel doesn't give me a headache.

So Rita goes and talks to the evil lords and complains about her husband making her do all the work on his evil plans, and the evil lords totally feel her pain and agree to let her call on her time manipulator dude. But she has to get rid of Tommy or the time travel thing won't ever work, because apparently Tommy is a quick thinker and good at leading or something. Time Dude is a FREAKY looking beast consisting of pretty much just black robes, a very bad black wig, and a face mask from HELL. I'm a full grown adult with Small Children of my own and this thing could easily give ME nightmares. Anyway, Time Dude finds Bulk and Skull and immediately puts them under a spell. He asks that they bring him a lock of Tommy's hair. Frankly, I don't know why he needs it. He has all of Tommy's hair in that atrocious black wig on his big scary head.

Bulk and Skull freak Tommy out and fail at getting the lock of hair. Meanwhile, Tommy and Kim don't notice Bulk and Skull are under a spell. As the past season and a half of under a spell has shown us, nobody EVER notices when somebody else is under a spell. It's like they are unintentionally blind to it.

Tommy and Kim part ways, and Tommy is met by the Time Dude. He actually remembers he has a communicator though and calls Zordon, who conveniently didn't notice the monster until Tommy alerted him to it's presence, despite it having been on Earth for quite some time. Fail!Zordon... or maybe just part of his evil plan to get rid of Tommy. We're not quite sure. The other rangers go to Tommy's aide and jump right into a putty fight. Billy is super pretty and Rocky looks like a cheesy 90's gay porn star with his half-undone shirt and floppy hair. Not that I've watched cheesy 90's gay porn and would know what to look for or anything. Ahem.

So the putties manage to get Tommy mostly captured and the Time Dude knocks him out so they can take a lock of hair. LJ user doctoraicha makes the best quote of the night. "HE JUST CUT OFF SAMSON'S HAIR!" Tommy wakes up with a wicked headache while Time Dude, off to the side, creates and Evil Green Tommy. Full of Light And Goodness White Tommy goes to lay down because of his headache. Evil Green Tommy calls the other rangers to the city limits sign on the outskirts of town... and then chews a toothpick. The rangers show up and we see Angel Grove has a population of 376,000. Evil Green Tommy meets them there and nobody notices anything amiss. Nobody stops to say "Hey, what's with the suddenly going all Green again, Bro?" and they agree to not call Zordon to figure out what the heck they're doing there. Instead, they get sucked into a swirling wind vortex by the Time Dude, while Evil Green Tommy cackles evilly and they all lament his return to evilness.

They end of in PRE-REVOLUTIONARY WAR Angel Grove. Y'know, Angel Grove CALIFORNIA. Which CAN NOT have existed in pre-revolutionary times. Those redcoats? Shouldn't be there. That population 124 sign? Shouldn't be there. The town? Shouldn't exist. HISTORY DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. Nevermind the fact there is not a Latino face amongst the whole crowd! Really show? Really? Not a single Spaniard? No Mexicans? Nobody with an ounce of Spanish in their dialogue at all? CALIFORNIA with pasty white people with bad British accents? You REALLY went there show?

Uh, so, um, we figure this is just more evidence for Angel Grove being it's own country and it was under British rule during a much different time than the United States and so it's cool for them to be there in the late 1700's. And stuff. Ahem.

So people run and call them witches and then some random girl with an accent helps them hide from soldiers. Meanwhile, Full of Light And Goodness White Tommy is looking for Kim. He can't find her. He does find Evil Green Tommy who is still chewing on a toothpick, which I suppose is supposed to represent evil. Or something. Which isn't cool, show, but whatever.

List time!
5 fish. History... it makes no sense... and the time travel... and the... the... the... just, 5 fish.

No Billy speak, though he was gleefully excited at the mere thought of being Einstein's assistant.

Episode 81 - Zedd's Monster Mash

Do you know what Saturday is? Saturday is going to be Stone Canyon Trio day! That's right, we have officially reached the point where Zack/Trini/Jason are gone, and we're going to meet their replacements, including my favorite. (Okay, so I momentarily debated asking if we could skip this episode, just so we could get to Stone Canyon earlier. I have a favorite, okay?) If Saturday's posts are filled with all caps flailing.... well, you've been warned in advanced. (Luckily for everyone, will be writing two of them.)

Anyway, it's a good thing we didn't skip this episode, because it was actually really awesome. It's Halloween again. Okay, so this is the first one that officially references Halloween, but costume parties and pumpkin themed tv shows totally scream Halloween to me. But the important thing is to talk about the costumes - Kim is a jester (so glad she's not a princess. SO GLAD), Billy is a mad scientist, and Tommy is a pirate. Ernie is a crazy 20s gangster, and Bulk and Skull are soldiers of some sort. And there are a bunch of tiny children dressed as Power Rangers. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, wouldn't you go as Power Rangers? (I would totally go as a Power Ranger now, so I may not be the most biased person in the universe. In fact, I am totally going to be the Pink Ranger this year, and nothing will stop me.)

In important things that are setting up for the Stone Canyon Trio, Billy and Kim have a discussion about the Torchwood World Peace Conference. They are both excited for it, except they worry what would happen if one of them gets selected for it. Aww, foreshadowing, so cute.

An amazing event occurs! We see the actual parent of a tiny child, who talks about how exciting it is that the teens are going to chaperone their kids on Halloween. I'm just amazed that the show is remembering that parents exist.

Up on the moon, Zedd is all excited about the holiday! It is right up his alley, except something is missing. He needs Tommy. Zedd is totally trying to beat out Goldar for the creepy obsession with the Ranger thing. Except while Goldar drove Jason off to join Torchwood, we're stuck with Tommy a while longer. So Zedd decides to throw his own Halloween party (and Baboo wants to be Little Bo Peep, which is so amazing I don't even have words for it) and invite Tommy.

Bulk and Skull show up, and for a minute we're afraid that they're going to be chaperones, but instead Bulk is going to eat some really hot candy, and then bob for apples. He then gets an apple stuck in his mouth, and we get a pig comparison, complete with sound effects, and I guess it's been a while since we've used the fatphobia tag. Thanks, show!

Zedd's plan is to have a bunch of putties turn into children and then separate Tommy from everyone else. The Putties turn into BABY RANGERS and I am overcome by the SHEER CUTE. Tommy takes them out (although I have some nitpicks about the plan. How did they know that Tommy would be the one to be assigned them? Didn't they make a point of saying that the parents had to sign the kids in and out?) but considering some of the fish that the show gives us, I really shouldn't be nitpicking.

Bulk and Skull see the tiny Rangers, and wonder if maybe the Rangers can shrink. This is so stupid I don't want to acknowledge it. However, they go around pulling off the helmets of the kids, and we see that there's a female red, and I start all capsing out of the sheer awesome. And then Bulk and Skull get covered in silly string, and honestly, they totally deserved that one.

Goldar shows up, and the putty!children turn into regular putties, and there's a fight scene. After Tommy beats them all, Goldar just teleports him to the Dark Dimension. I have no idea why they bothered with the plan and the fake children at all if Goldar could just do that. But Tommy ends up in a graveyard, and there's a really stupid new monster, and then Zedd decides to finally take our advice and just have a whole bunch of monsters. First we get the Pumpkin Rapper which means that we are totally going to subject you to this monster's horrible rhymes. Oh, and he steals Tommy's morpher.

Meanwhile, Kim and Billy have noticed that Tommy is missing, and that these children don't actually exist. Zordon hasn't bothered to call them, so they go to the Command Center and realize that yeah, he's actually been kidnapped. Again. Oh, Tommy. They manage to locate him on the viewing globe, and Billy wonders why Tommy isn't morphed. Kim immediately says it's because he's lost his Power Coin. I love that this happens often enough that Kim doesn't need to think about it. Some leader you are, Tommy!

The Pumpkin Rapper gets some allies in The Snizard (who also showed up in Island of Illusion), the Primator, the Robogoatthe Invenusable Fly Trap and the Rhinoblaster. With all these monsters, the Rangers should be doomed!

But no, because Kim and Billy show up, and they help Tommy get his morpher. Still, they're pretty outnumbered, so Alpha says that he will go and watch the children that Trini/Jason/Zack are supposedly escorting, reusing his costume excuse. So we get the shortest Zord summoning sequence in a while, yet only the Pumpkin Rapper bothers to grow. I mean, what was the point of summoning all those monsters? Oh, Zedd. You should hire us to explain the evil overlord rules to you. The Pumpkin Rapper is easily defeated, again.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull ate too much candy and everyone laughs at them.


Fish: 2.5 Mostly nitpicks. They just all added up!

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water and Bulk and Skull both get covered in silly string.

Pumpkin Rapper Speak: "maybe you did, but it's time to get sad. Because of Lord Zedd's power we're back and we're bad!"
"Hey don't play, he's getting away"
"You better just quit or you'll get hit"
"rangers this aint no play, 'cause you're going down today"
"It's so cool that is hot, rangers in a real spot?"
"I can't believe you dare to try and make this fair"
"I get bored with tinhead zords"
"that was uncool, so take this fool"
"we're going to fight to say goodnight"
"On the ground, clown."
"You brats! What's with that?"

Episode 79 - Two For One

Hey, there's a thread on to celebrate the awesome women of Power Rangers, and you should all go and post on it.

You know, I was checking earlier, and Tommy has had more episodes about him than any other Ranger. Sadly, we are continuing that trend today, although Kimberly also takes top billing.

We open at the Juice Bar, where Kim is prancing about in an absolutely ridiculous dress. She asks Trini what she thinks, and Trini tells her that it's adorable, and asks if it's for her date with Tommy. First of all, Trini, don't lie to her. That dress is awful. Second, don't encourage her. Before Trini can continue to lie to her, Richie brings over their (diet) soda, and we both sulk about that for a minute, and then Richie is ridiculously adorable and asks Trini to go study with him later. Study. Sure. Is that what they were calling it?

Anyway, Kim tells us a little bit more about her purse. Apparently it's the purse her mom took on her first date with her dad. There is so much wrong here I don't know where to start. 1-It isn't Kimberly's first date with Tommy. 2-Kimberly's parents are divorced, so this isn't a good sign for her continued relationship with Tommy. 3-That purse is FUGLY.

Bulk and Skull walk in, with a Power Rangers detector that was created by Bulk's cousin Waldo who goes to Angel Grove Tech. I'm going to refrain from a Where's Waldo joke, or trying to figure out where Angel Grove Tech is. And it is seriously the best detector ever - it has two settings "Power Rangers" and "Not Power Rangers". And it has smiley faces! Amazing!

So, Tommy shows up, all sweaty because he's been sparring with Jason. Kim asks if he's ready, and he tells her that it's only three, so he's got time. Of course, it's after four by this point, but whatever. Kim borrows Trini's lipstick, and waits for Tommy to finish showering.

Zedd and Goldar decide to ruin their date, and they'll turn Kim's purse and the stuff in it into two monsters, because Goldar wants one of his own. Now, I know we've been saying that they should have multiple monsters attack, but um, this was ridiculous. So they send putties down to attack Kim and Tommy, and Tommy is actually really adorable and romantic, asking Kim "May I have this dance?" and spinning her around before they go beat up some putties. They beat them, and then the purse gets turned into a monster. They morph, and the purse monster freezes them.

Zordon was apparently paying attention, because he calls the others. Jason and Zack were having a slap fight. It was pretty adorable. They actually spend most of the episode looking like they're about to make out, which pleases me greatly. Zordon explains that there are two monsters, and Trini and Billy are told to stay behind and figure out what piece of equipment will be able to unfreeze them. Jason asks Zack to go rescue Tommy and Kim, and they gaze soulfully into each others' eyes. Jason, meanwhile, will fight the lipstick monster with the giant phallic symbols by himself.

Zack immediately also gets frozen, and Jason calls his zord and starts to get his ass kicked. Billy and Trini eventually figure out how to free everyone, and they defreeze everyone else. While this is going on, Bulk and Skull follow their Ranger detector into the lake. After they get unfrozen, Tommy fights the purse monster by himself, while everyone else runs off to help Jason. He promptly gets tied up, so Saba saves the day and somehow the monster is destroyed. IDEK.

Meanwhile, the other Rangers all summon their zords, and it turns out that their zords have wacky powers! The unicorn zord can move boulders, the griffon shoots fire, and the firebird creates whirlwinds. (It's possible that the lion does something also, but we were too busy trying to figure out why Billy's zord was telekinetic.) Anyway, instead of forming the megazord, it turns out that Jason's zord just needed a ride? It jumps off of the others and hits the lipstick monster with its staff.

Kim gets her purse back, but there's no sign of the lipstsick. And Bulk and Skull find a bunch of kids. Pretty weak ending.

Fish: 4.5 Everything about this episode was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "The multiple arsenal must come from the paraphernalia from the receptical from which it was created."
"If only I could get the right coordinates on the refractor shield"

Covered in: Bulk and Skull fall in the lake

Episode 78- White Light Part 2

I hate this episode. I really really hate this episode.

So we get the best opening shot ever, and that's the only good thing in the entire episode. We open with a close up of Billy's gorgeous gorgeous eyes looking through the grate over the secret room where Zordon and Alpha are creating the white ranger. They can't hear him talk for the fish in their ears, and he leaves to go tell the others.

Back in Billy's garage, he tells them about the new ranger. Instead of being all excited and "OMGSOAWESOMENEWRANGERYAY!", they're being emotastic and worried. They don't want somebody new intruding into their group and they feel it's a slap in the face to Tommy to give somebody else new powers. Uh, did nobody stop and think that hey, rather than tell yet another person their secret identities, Zordon just might, possibly, be making this new power for, gosh, I don't know... Tommy? Really? Nobody came to this EXTREMELY LOGICAL conclusion? Apparently not, because everybody is really depressed and even Jason, in his cautious optimism, just looks constipated.

Meanwhile, in Skull's garage/basement/wherever they happen to be, Bulk and Skull are still trying everything they can think of to open the space dumpster. Skull gets an idea and drags Bulk off to Ernie's. They head off, and Rita lifts the lid from inside the dumpster proclaiming her need to get out of there. Uh... if Rita can open it from inside, why can't Bulk and Skull lift it off from outside? And wouldn't there be some kind of magical lock in place preventing Rita from lifting it from the inside? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of locking her up in the first place, if she can just throw off the lid and walk away at any time?

In Billy's garage, they've all been pacing and looking sad. Zordon finally contacts them to tell them about the new ranger, and they all teleport to the Command Center to listen. They still look upset and I just don't get WHY. So Zordon calls down the white light and the white ranger comes floating down from above. It's very dramatic-Jesus-like and I want to slam my head against something repeatedly. He takes off his helmet and Billy smiles and says he can't believe it. Really, Billy? In your super intelligent overly logical brain did it never once occur to you who would be in that suit? *sigh*

And then we see Kim faint. Nobody else sees her faint, but she faints. She FAINTS people. She sees Tommy and PASSES THE FUCK OUT. This is why I hate this episode. Does she, the one who has beaten more monsters on her own than the rest of the team combined, not have the fortitude to STAY CONSCIOUS when surprised with Tommy? SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE HELL SHOW?

(and now that I've rewritten that four times and calmed down enough for just that bit, I'll move on)

So then we see that it's Tommy in the white ranger outfit. Well colour me surprised. Or not. Everybody is all excited and shocked and acting like idiots. Tommy pushes them aside because nobody else saw Kim faint, but he's worried. He calls her princess, lifts her from the ground, and tells her to wake up. And miraculously, she wakes up. And can't believe it's Tommy. She's sure she's dreaming. I bruise my forehead slamming it against the desk. Luckily I thought to move the keyboard out of the way first.

Zordon then tells them that Tommy was the obvious choice to be the NEW LEADER of the Power Rangers. Hold the phone! New LEADER? Leader? Really? What, Jason suddenly isn't capable? He's not good enough anymore? Tommy is infinitely better at being leader than Jason and so he gets to just usurp the role?? WHY? I can see Tommy taking over once Jason leaves and the Stone Canyon Trio move in. But right now? While Jason is still doing an awesome job of being leader? WHAT THE HELL SHOW?!?!??!!

Luckily they cut back to Bulk and Skull before I can YET AGAIN go into rage blackout. Bulk and Skull are using a massively large can opener trying to open the dumpster. We can only assume Ernie had such a large can opener because he needed it to open the massive tin of fish it took to create this episode.

So back at the Command Center, Zordon appraises them of the monster and some putties, Rita getting out of her dumpster, and the need to go take care of this. Oh but wait, the zords were damaged and Billy didn't fix them. Zordon sends Billy and Trini to go fix the zords, Tommy to deal with the monster, and Jason, Kim, and Zack to deal with a bunch of putties. So Tommy jumps around, his zord damages a lot of land, and we meet Saba, the talking sabre. I like Saba. He can be annoying, but I don't care. I like him anyway. So Tommy kind of fails at controlling his zord and it falls over. He makes a comment about having never had a partner before so they'll just have to learn to work together. Excuse me? Never had a partner before? What, did you beat all those monsters in season 1 and the first half of 2 all on your own there, Tommy? Nobody else helped you? You didn't have multiple learn to cooperate already episodes? *sigh*

So he eventually figures out how to work the zord and then he makes it fight by doing martial arts in the cockpit. It's ridiculous, but not quite as bad as firing weapons inside equating to firing weapons outside (I'm looking at you, RPM). Tommy really sucks at this and then somehow ends up on the side of a mountain. I don't even... whatever.

Jason calls his zord and we wonder a)how the zords were fixed so quickly and b)who told Jason. But apparently both happened because Jason goes to fight alongside Tommy, and ends up with his thunderzord riding Tommy's zord. Oh show. They battle in a pathetic jousting match and then separate to combine with the other zords and form a new Megazord. The new Megazord can shoot Kim's zord at enemies with effects reminiscent of Tron. And now I want to go watch Tron. They win the battle, the Megazord and Jason's zord shake hands for some reason, and then we cut back to Bulk and Skull.

So Bulk and Skull eventually collapse from the effort and while they aren't looking, Rita throws off the lid and climbs out of the dumpster. She yells at Bulk and Skull and they pass out from fright. But alas, her escape isn't meant to be because the rangers are there too and they put her back in her dumpster, toss the lid back on haphazardly, and then leave with the dumpster. The boys go send it back into space while Kim and Trini hang out in Skull's garage/basement/whatever. They wake up and nobody questions why Kim and Trini are there, but whatever. The girls are mean about Bulk and Skull hallucinating a little witch.

At the Youth Center, they are having a surprise party for Tommy. They talk, loudly, about Tommy being a ranger again and Jason gets confused when trying to compare Tommy's surprise being more surprising than their surprise party. In walk Ritchie and Curtis. Ritchie has apparently won a trophy at a martial arts tournament that none of the rangers took part in, and the Angel Grove economy keeps on spinning. He shows off some moves for them and manages to kick a large sheet cake that Ernie just finished decorating. It goes flying and lands on Bulk and Skull, who just walked in. They promptly turn and walk right back out while everybody laughs at them.

*sigh* Did I mention I hate this episode?

List time:
5 fish. There isn't enough gefitle fish in the world to explain away this episode.

Billy speak: borderline, but the closest we get is "All the energy is being concentrated into the creation of a new Ranger."

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull covered in cake.

Episode 73- Green No More Part 2

Oh god. I have been blinded by the fish. I wanted to like this episode, because it's the last episode of the green ranger era, except a)it puts us one step closer to the white ranger era and b)the sheer amount of fish in this episode is overwhelming.

So we start out with Tommy hiding by a Very Convenient boulder. The monster, who's name I can't remember, is taunting him and wandering around trying to find him. I still haven't figured out WHAT the monster is supposed to be, but it just looks like a deformed koopa troopa to me. I kept wanting Tommy to jump on it's back and then send it sliding across the big open field. Tommy does eventually attack and then runs away, finding a ravine to hide in.

Meanwhile, nobody can get through to Zordon and Zordon can't get through to anybody else. Apparently Zedd has put some kind of force field around the Command Center. It is slowly compressing and Zordon reveals this will eventually cause it to implode. Um. Okkaaayyyy...

So Zedd determines that his evil plan is going so well, he's going to taunt the rangers by letting them go so they can stand by and watch the koopa troopa monster tear apart Angel Grove. Apparently the evil rangers are supposed to do something eventually, but mostly they just stand there in the worst costumes ever. So Zedd releases the rangers and teleports them to the park. They can't morph for some reason. I don't know why, I don't know how, but whatever. They can't contact Zordon so Billy says they should all go to his lab so he can somehow break through the energy barrier. *sigh*

Meanwhile, Goldar shows up in the field to take over taunting Tommy. He's going to make Tommy pledge his allegiance to Zedd and the side of evil. He's going to do this with a handy little device that looks like an electric can opener with tubing. This device is so evil, it's going to work like the Mirror of Regret (which we haven't gotten to yet, I know, but just roll with me here). It's going to make Tommy want to join the side of evil because it's going to show him his past! The device delves deep and shows Tommy all the battles he's won and just how awesome he is. That's right. It shows him what a good job he's done FIGHTING EVIL. And this is going to make him want to join Goldar how? What? I don't get it.

Back at Billy's lab, Billy has really nice arms. And he's showing them off. Oh, and he's doing something technical with a computer, but mostly I just looked at his arms. The others are watching the news on tv and apparently it's been 24 hours since the monster started attacking? Only it really hasn't? But okay. Billy managed to lock on to the force field.

Back in the random field, Goldar is basically pulling a "Say my name, BITCH!" and Tommy's all "yeah, okay, you're..." and Goldar gets hopeful because really he'll take a Jason substitute if he absolutely has to, but then Tommy kills that hope by switching tactics and basically calling him a stupidhead. He does the most predictable kick, Goldar can't block anything for the fish in the shot, and then Tommy gets his hands on the electric can opener and zaps Goldar... somewhere. He then uses it to send a message to himself in the past. Only he doesn't send a message to himself. Instead he picks up a message of himself and said message HANDS HIM HIS COMMUNICATOR. That's right. A non-corporeal RECORDING handing over a physical object. Mind, there was no explanation for why Tommy didn't have his communicator in the first place, but I'm too distracted by the NON-CORPOREAL RECORDING passing over a physical object.

Amazingly, it works now and Tommy teleports himself to Billy's lab. Everybody is happy to see him, they all make it to the Command Center, and then there are even more fish. Because only a non-ranger can get through to Zedd's cave undetected. And Tommy, being drained of all his power, goes. And nobody sees him. So he destroys the kryptonite crystal. And the evil rangers demorph, have their spells broken, and teleport out of there all at once. Zedd cries in dismay.

Tommy joins the others back at the Command Center and then everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, morphs. Yes, including Tommy. Y'know, the non-ranger that was able to get into the base. The guy who had his powers drained completely by the koopa troopamonster's arse. He morphs. The show tries to distract you from the insane fish by giving a really long zord summoning sequence, but no worries, I'm on to them. I still see the fish everywhere. They're really piling up in this episode.

Somehow Zordon knows to use heat and then cold water to destroy the monster, but Tommy has to be eaten to do it. He hides in some watermelons, gets eaten, and then pulls a mega-heat blaster out of NOWHERE. Apparently he got it from Billy. What? When did he make that? How did he get it from Billy since he only found out what to do mid-fight? I'd do a headdesk here, but the fish are overflowing from this episode and I'm afraid I'd smack into one.

So Tommy blasts with heat from within, then Zack blasts with water from without, and then the monster dies. La la la.

Back at the Youth Center, the new bullies in town come walking in and Jason decides the best way to beat the bullies is to be their friends. Why they never try this with Bulk and Skull, I don't know, but my head hurts too much to think about it. So Jason gets up and pays for the sodas for the bullies. I'm too overcome by the fact that somebody paid for something ($4.50 for 5 sodas... damn but the 90's were cheap) to pay much attention to the rest of the episode, which apparently ended with a handshake.

List time:

*pushes fish out of the way* 5 fish. If our scale went higher, this would be higher.

Billy speak: "My communicator locked onto the electric force field surrounding the command center."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 72 - Green No More - Part 1

Hey, we're reaching the end of the Green Ranger era! Sadly, not of the Tommy era. But whatever. Today on Power Rangers - Tommy is emo, there are some hot bullies, and Zedd discovers kryptonite.

I actually remembered nothing about this episode, so it's all new for me. And amazingly it wasn't that bad!

We open with Tommy playing basketball. You can tell that he's emo, because he's having trouble making the shot. Kimberly shows up (her outfits are really cute this season), having asked Jason where Tommy was. I kind of love that Kimberly needed to ask Jason for this piece of information. They have a discussion about Tommy's powers, which are failing fast. Tommy's hair is ridiculous, and I feel the need to point that out.

Suddenly, a ghost!Tommy appears. He's from the future, and he tries to give a warning, that somehow involves communicators. Oh, Tommy. Meanwhile, Zedd is still obsessed with Tommy. He's putting Goldar's obsession with Jason to shame.

Meanwhile, at the school, Zack and Billy discuss Zack's cousin Curtis, who is being set up to be Zack's replacement moving to Angel Grove. He's basically Zack. Seriously, same character, same dancing, whatever. Apparently they only have one characterization available. They introduce Curtis to Ritchie, and the two decide to be boyfriends BFF. Tommy tells Zack and Billy about the guy who looked just like him, and I start all-capsing about how of course he looks like him, he IS HIM. Tommy, read more scifi. Or go to a movie. Or something.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull get beaten up by a new team of bullies. There are five of them, and they are all color coded for your convenience. Gee, I wonder what this is being set up for? (Also, the red one is hot, and we're sure we've seen the blue one before somewhere, but imdb is failing us.) The new bullies also threaten some kid name Stewart, and you would think that Billy would be more active in protesting this, but he just stands there and watches. Fail.

On the moon, Lord Zedd has apparently discovered Kryptonite. Seriously, it is a glowing green rock that drains people's powers. There is absolutely nothing else that it can be. Nothing. I just realized that this might make Tommy Superman and then my brain started to hurt.

After school, the Rangers (except for Trini, who is off visiting relatives) go to the beach. Zack and Jason show off their arms, while Kimberly and Billy look for shells. Just as Kimberly finds a new shell, the bullies appear, and suddenly we're in a Jets vs Sharks throwdown with the Rangers telling the new bullies about how they don't know the rules yet, and the bullies saying they make the rules. Then Lord Zedd teleports out the bullies, because he thinks they should work for him. They just stand there, and I'm not sure if they're under a spell or what.

The whole group teleports to the Command Center, and Zordon tells them that Lord Zedd has sent down a very powerful monster. Tommy insists on fighting with them, even though he can only hold up for one more fight. Now, if they were being smart they would save his powers for when they desperately need him, but Tommy insists on going now, because it has to be all about him. (My attempt to fanwank this is that he just wants it to be over, and he can't stand the constant not knowing if its going to be his last battle or not, but this may just be giving him too much credit. Then again, I've been in comics fandom for a while, so I've gotten really good at rationalizing.)

Zedd's shell monster thing has already grown, so we get the world's longest Zord summoning sequence. The monster beats them, and then goes back to Zedd, who is all annoyed because it hasn't completely destroyed Tommy yet. So the monster teleports Tommy to a field, and his powers immediately failed. Okay, so here's where we get into the fish - if they could do that before, why didn't they? (... To give the show some credit, I really appreciate the shots of JDF's ass. I am shallow, what?)

The other Rangers try to contact Zordon, but they can't. Zedd teleports them to a cave and imprisons them in a force field, and holds up the glowing chunk of Kryptonite, and tells them their powers won't work. He then debuts his Dark Rangers, who are in the most horrible versions of a costume I have ever seen in my entire life. I could make a better costume than that, and I can't sew. Zedd threatens to send out his Dark Rangers, and then we get a to be continued sign....

Fish! 3. Outside of the "5 evil people move to Angel Grove at once" and the "seriously, why couldn't they do any of this before?" it wasn't that high fish an episode. Especially for a Tommy Centric one.

Billy speak: "Y'know, it's quite possible that he appeared through a rift in the space time continuum."

Episode 71- The Song of Guitardo

I admit, I remembered absolutely nothing about this episode except for the title. For some reason, that stuck with me over 15 or so years, but the details of the plot just floated away. And part of me is very glad to have discovered this episode, and very mad at the same time. How an episode can be both rage inducing AND sickly sweet I don't know, but this one is. My poor brain, it's so befuddled.

Anyway, we start the show with Kim playing guitar in the Youth Center. Aw, a Kim episode! Zack is with her and compliments her music. She is writing a song, apparently, and in the best friendship acting of this show, she asks him for help with the lyrics. People, it is ADORABLE.

Zedd is spying, as he always does, and decides the guitar is the perfect thing to make a monster. Except, well, as Exposition Monkey Goldar points out in the only thing he says or does in the entire episode, Zedd can only make monsters out of living things. And guitars are made of wood which is no longer living. Zedd waves him off saying where there is wood, there are insects and he can make a monster out of those. Mind, guitars don't generally have insects in them, so where he came up with that, I don't know, but okay then. He somehow determines a cicada would be likely to be in a guitar (nod and smile, people, it makes this show SO much easier) and devises a spell to make Guitardo, the cicada monster.

In the park the following day, the rangers are having a picnic. Initially Intended Jason Replacement Ritchie, dressed ALL IN RED as usual (I don't think we've ever seen him NOT in red... real subtle there show), rides by on his bike. Trini invites him to join, but he has to unpack from moving. Sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are just around the corner attempting to draw the attention of the power rangers. Bulk is dressed like a dragon/monster thing and Skull looks absolutely ravishing in a pink princess dress. He does the most amazing voice, too! Anyway, they run around screaming, attract the unmorphed rangers, get a lesson on crying wolf, and then blow them off and continue to run around screaming. It's amazing.

Just in time for the fakest insect ever to land on first Skull and then Bulk, Zedd's spell is ready! So he mumbles a bit and turns the insect into a monster, which lands right on Bulk's shoulder. Poor guys, the monsters always seem to materialize right on them.

In an unprecedented fit of actually paying attention, Zordon notices the monster IMMEDIATELY and calls the rangers! It's unheard of, this actual "looking out" business! So apparently they've analyzed the monster and are going to tell them all about it, but first Tommy has to step off to the side with Alpha to be evaluated for power levels. What, they wait until a crisis to worry about this? So much for planning. Way to ruin your moment of Win, Zordon. So apparently this monster can control minds. And has turned Kim's guitar into his weapon of mind control, as he uses music to do his evil thing. Tommy's powers aren't up to a fight, so he gets left behind so he doesn't endanger the other rangers.

So the others morph and go confront Guitardo. They try to concentrate on their own thoughts and block out his mind control powers, but they fail. Zack goes first, followed quickly by Billy, Jason, and Trini. They end up floating in the air for some reason. Because apparently this isn't really mind control and is just... um... levitation? I don't even know. My best theory is they're standing on large invisible piles of fish.

Anyway, Kim is left on her own to fight this monster. This really oughtn't be a problem seeing as she's fought solo and taken down monsters singlehandedly before. But no, instead she freaks out, Tommy morphs, and comes to her rescue. He pulls her out of the way just in time. Out of the way of what, I'm not sure, since mind control isn't really directionally based like that? But okay.

We wonder why Tommy then leaves Kim alone to go fight Guitardo on his own, because Tommy is THE MOST PRONE to mind control. He's PROVEN he's susceptible in the past. And Kim is too awesome to stand around and twiddle her thumbs! She can solo a monster and Tommy is weak and losing his powers! What the hell, show? We capslocked this for a few minutes in chat because, really? Continuity!Fail like woah. So Tommy goes to some fair thing to fight the monster, only he kind of gets taken over pretty quickly. But wait! He uses his dragon dagger and figures out music breaks the spell, so he'll fight music with music!

The mind control affects him anyway and this somehow makes him fall into an ever deepening hole in the ground. Um... mind control? How is it making a hole in the ground? Cement is not sentient. It's not even alive. It doesn't have a mind to control, so how is the hole being created? We decide it's a bunch of fish drilling into it and move on. Kim finally runs up and uses her bow as a harp to stop the monster from further sinking Tommy. She tells Tommy music will defeat Guitardo and we have to wonder how she knows this. Was she standing around watching? We like to think she was as that would hint to her being in on Zordon's plan to sabotage Tommy. We like this theory.

So Kim beats the monster by using Tommy's tiny little dagger as an arrow in her bow. I... don't even want to know how that works? Because physics? Really doesn't work like that. Like, at all. But the dagger destroys the monster and all is well, and we didn't even have a zord fight, so I'm okay with it!

Back at the Youth Center, the rangers are completing their picnic. It's apparently pouring down rain now and Ernie just let them into his food service establishment with their own food and drink, and invited them to spread out and enjoy themselves... without purchasing a thing from him. That's not the way to make money and keep your business open, Ernie. But way to be nice. Bulk and Skull come in and Bulk has his helmet stuck to his head. Billy offers to help remove it if they promise not to pretend to be in danger anymore. They promise (with fingers crossed) and Billy genuinely and nicely helps them. They barely have time to walk away before Tommy starts talking about losing his powers. Loudly. In the middle of the crowded Youth Center. Secret identities. I thought they had them?

Anyway, he fails at being Emo Ranger, and then Kim pulls out her guitar and cheers him up by singing a song she and Zack wrote for him. Aw! It's about the sweetest thing EVER, especially when Zack JOINS IN THE CHORUS! OMGSOADORABLE! I melted. The only thing that could have made me go "DAWWWW" any harder is if they'd somehow had a bunch of kittens frolicking about.

So it was both rage inducing and adorable at the same time and my head is going to explode from the contradiction.

Lists!
3 fish. Much less fishy than yesterday, though some big continuity fails there.

Billy speak: none really, though he does mention focusing on your own thoughts to block out Guitardo's mind control.

Covered in food: Nobody, but Bulk does get a monster materializing on his shoulder

Episode 70 - Welcome to Venus Island

Hi! We live! I am back from vacation, and now we have a lot of recaps to catch up on! We're behind on the schedule, which is totally my fault. But! We will catch up, so expect quite a few recaps this week. And probably a post on the reairing of season 1, once we actually catch more than 15 minutes of it.

So. This episode. "Fish do fishy things that require a lot of fish to accomplish their fishy fish."

The episode opens on the beach, where Trini, Kimberly and Tommy are building a sandcastle with an inappropriate young friend named Halle or Haley. I hope that this girl secretly grows up to be a genius and make fun of Tommy on Dino Thunder. Haley tells them that there's a princess in the castle sleeping and waiting for a prince to rescue her. Kimberly says that's romantic. Oh, Kimberly, really? Sleeping Beauty is not an active character. Please don't be telling little girls that they should just wait around waiting for a prince to come and kiss them and rescue them. Let them rescue themselves! And be active!

Then Trini sees Richie, and adorkable music plays, and she has such a crush. Awwww. (I don't understand why they felt the need to give her a different love interest when they had Billy, but whatever.)

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have a cunning plan to figure out the Power Rangers identities - they dress up as Z putties (actually, their costumes are pretty good) and they figure that the only people who would stop them would be the Power Rangers. So they go stomp on some kid's sand castle, and then the kid beats them up. Good times! Of course, then Lord Zedd is all annoyed that Bulk and Skull are demeaning his putties, so he sends Goldar down to kidnap Haley for some unknown reason.

At some point, the Rangers notice that Haley has disappeared. They run over, just in time to see Goldar teleport away with her. Goldar has dropped a bottle that has some message from Zedd in a weird language. Also, Kimberly's shorts are unbuttoned. What exactly was she doing with Tommy and Trini?

Back on the moon, Zedd is pissed at Goldar for losing the message in the bottle. Goldar claims he lost it in the fight. What fight? When was there a fight? He just teleported out! Did he lose to a little girl? Because that would be awesome! Zedd changes his mind and decides this is for the best, because now the Rangers will just go do something and then hand over Tommy. Oh, Zedd, your obsession with Tommy is pretty amazing.

Anyway, the Rangers teleport to the Command Center, and Billy uses some nifty scanning technology to figure out that the message was actually Goldar's instructions to take Haley to Venus Island.

So. Here's where the fish come in. Why was Zedd so mad that Goldar lost the instructions? Goldar already did what he was supposed to do! Why didn't he just tell Goldar what to do? And if Zedd's grand plan was to make the Rangers go to Venus Island, then why didn't they just make that the random note? Also, why are they trying to turn a tiny child evil anyway? (Oh, yes, the plan - Zedd is going to turn Haley evil. Or Tommy will surrender himself and be evil instead. At least I think that was what they were trying to do - we kept yelling about fish.)

Anyway, Zordon explains about Venus Island. Apparently it's an island that Zedd can summon, that only exists when Zedd wants it to. Zordon doesn't know where it is. But they can follow the trade winds at sunset and that will lead them there. Everyone is all confused and wondering how to follow the the wind. Billy goes to his lab to invent something, and comes up with a weather balloon. Meanwhile, Zordon keeps saying that the island is getting more and more unstable. He can tell that, but he can't figure out where the island is. Sure.

Jason, Trini and Billy go to launch the weather balloon at sunset. Apparently the clip Billy made for his sensor is too heavy, so Jason steals Trini's scrunchie, and uses that to attach it instead. Cue the drama! They teleport to the Command Center, and Zordon says that the weather balloon is now over the Atlantic. The Atlantic? Seriously? Angel Grove is supposed to be in California, right? How did it get to the Atlantic?! And then they check a map, and look, there's an island! Why is an island that can only be summoned by Zedd on their map? And how come it isn't marked? I don't know.

Also, I still have no idea what Zedd's plan was. If he wanted Haley as bait, shouldn't he have made it easier for the Rangers to find her? And if he wanted to turn her evil then.... no, why would he want to turn her evil?

Tommy says he's going to go along on this mission, and everyone points out that he's too weak. He promises to teleport back if Zedd attacks. Which brings up the question of why he would go along if he's not going to help fight.

On the island (which looks remarkable like the Island of Illusion, Trini comments that the flowers look weird. Maybe that's because they're made of paper. Just a suggestion. Zedd sends down the Invenusable Fly Trap (best name ever) to attack them. Tommy morphs anyway. Because he is a lying liar who lies. The Invenusable Fly Trap traps everyone in its stomach but Tommy and Trini, and they teleport out so that Zordon can tell them what to do.

Tommy has a giant emo fit about how he will go surrender himself to rescue Haley, and that he'll try and resist Zedd (because that worked so well last time) and to tell everyone he's sorry. Blah blah blah. Just as he's about to go, Alpha pipes up with a solution - the monster should be vulnerable to heat. So unfortunately Tommy doesn't need to go surrender himself. Instead, he and Trini teleport down and start talking about heat.

This apparently lets the other Rangers (who are just sitting in the monster's stomach) figure out that they need to create heat, so they use the power of fish to charge their power coins and then they punch the monster and then they're free. Then they all summon the power weapons and blow up the monster.

Back on the moon, Zedd tells Goldar that he couldn't outsmart a fish sandwich. Because the fish are clearly ruling this episode. Then Zedd starts to sink the island. But before it sinks into the ocean (which Billy can tell because there is an earthquake) they find Haley in a cave. Tommy is going to go surrender himself, but Trini stops him. Instead she goes and shoots the barrier thing which evaporates. Haley wakes up, and Tommy picks her up. She calls him a prince. Whatever.

At the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull are interrogating Haley about the Power Rangers. Somehow she seems to have seen Tommy and Jason without their helmets on! Except we don't know when this happened! They've hired a sketch artist to draw the people she's describing, but he ends up drawing some nobility instead. Everyone laughs. The Rangers all look relieved.

Lists:
Fish - five. Fishiest episode ever.

Billy speak - We're sure that there was some, but we were too busy yelling fish.

Episode 69- The Beetle Invasion

Today on Power Rangers, I am reminded of lots of things that aren't Power Rangers!

We start out in the Youth Center. Ernie is playing broomball. He's apparently agreed to a match against the Stone Canyon team. The only problem is Ernie and Angel Grove don't actually have a broomball team. We had to squee for a few minutes because, hello, Stone Canyon! Setting up early perhaps? :D So Ernie tries to talk to rangers into playing for his team. They're a little hesitant. Until, that is, the Stone Canyon team comes in to hang up fliers. Why they're plastering the neighboring city with fliers for their team I don't know, but roll with it. They're total jerks. So because of their dickwad-ish attitude, the rangers agree to play for Ernie's team.

Meanwhile, Zedd has been watching. He's OBSESSED with Tommy. I mean, like, Goldar and Jason level obsessed. So Zedd/Tommy is now the OTHER Love That Daren't Speak It's Name. He plans on using the mascot for the Stone Canyon team, a beetle, and making a monster out of it that will drain Tommy's power.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull come in with a giant pig nose. Bulk bought it off the back of a comic book. Aw, Bulk reads comics! Awesome. Anyway, they plan to use it to sniff out the power rangers. Not sure how that will work, but it's kind of cute, so I go with it. And here is where we meet Ritchie. He's the new kid in school and he wants to play for Ernie's team, but alas, the team is full. But Ernie says Ritchie can co-captain. And Trini swoons.

In the next scene, Tommy and Kim are running alone in the park. This means they'll be attacked by putties. It ALWAYS happens. So Zedd sends down some putties and they fight for a bit. They knock Tommy down a lot and Kim has taken lessons on how to vogue mid-fight. Instead of calling for backup, they morph and fight some more. Zordon is still apparently trying to sabotage Tommy because he doesn't alert the others until Kim calls for help. They morph and end up fighting the beetle monster who knocks Tommy down again and then drains his powers. While explaining that he's draining his powers.

They finally have to go to the Command Center where Billy analyzes some data and discovers that Tommy is just fine health wise. He agrees he feels fine, just weak. They then try to figure out what the beetle did to Tommy. Um. He drained Tommy's powers. He kind of explained that already. While he was doing it. It was really quite obvious, I assure you.

Then Alpha and Billy say some technobabble which I totally missed because I was too busy being distracted by the big school of fish swimming across the screen. I mean, by the explanation for power ranger energies and transducers and power replacement. It was really just a bunch of fish here. Billy tells Alpha to construct a transducer that can rebuild Tommy's powers, or something to that effect, and I swear Billy is very pretty and smart, but really all it sounded like was "Hey Alpha, take this fishing pole and go catch us a plot device, mkay?".

Morphed, they leave Tommy behind and go fight the beetle monster thing again. Zack takes him on by himself and the others just kind of stand back and watch. What were they doing this whole time? We're not sure. We do have a theory though. I believe they were distracted by his very lovely arse. I'm sure Jason was standing there saying "Hang on Zack, I'd love to jump in and help you here, but DAMN you're a fine piece of ass." which would totally explain why they... well... just stood there.

Jason then actually says they need to get the monster to leave the Conveniently Abandoned Rock Quarry so they can fight him on their own ground. So he runs off. And the others follow because they can't do anything else. Apparently they needed a big pile of fish to fight on.

Back at the Command Center, Tommy asks Alpha to explain the transducer. He sort of did, but I missed it because every time they mention the word transducer, I could only think of one thing. "This sonic transducer...it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device?"

Back at the fight, they end up in hill country. They call the power weapons and almost have the beetle monster, but Zedd makes him grow. I predict this before it even happens.
"and it grows
and they'll call the zords
and they'll form the thundermegazord
and they'll fight for a minute
and then they'll pull out the thunder sword
and the fight will be over"
And that's basically what happened. It grew. It knocked them over. They fell over in the cockpit. Billy and Zack made a Jason sandwich. They stand up. Jason tells them to get to battle stations, which always leads me to Captain Picard, even though I thought they already WERE at battle stations. They fight some more. They pull out the thunder sabre. The thunder sabre saves the day. End of fight. Surprise surprise surprise.

Zedd isn't upset he lost, though, because they drained Tommy's powers. He is really obsessed.

Back at the Youth Center, the Angel Grove team beats the pants off the Stone Canyon team. They're playing broomball in the very confined space of the Youth Center. And they're all wearing goggles. We can't help but to hope/imagine that they're slash goggles. Tommy makes the winning shot by possibly breaking the rules. And then they talk about Tommy losing his powers in the middle of the Youth Center. Way to go, guys. Because nobody will overhear you or anything.

List time!

5 fish. Solidly. I missed half the episode because that big school of fish kept taking over the screen.

Billy speak: "I thought there was a large coleoptera on that poster."

"Perhaps Alpha can construct a green energy transducer that will recapture Tommy's powers."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 67- The Green Dream

Yay! We get to use the Tommy is better when he's evil tag again!

So we start the episode out at the end of class. The students are reminded that their essay is due on Friday. It needs to be 500 words long and about something that interests them. Clearly, the rangers are either in third grade or attend TSB's grad school and this is their final.

Bulk and Skull haven't started theirs yet, but they decide they're going to write about finding out the real identities of the Power Rangers. Oh boys. *pets*

In the hallway, Tommy doesn't hear Kim because he's thinking about the nightmare he's had three nights in a row now. He's dreaming about losing his powers. This is actually a completely normal and healthy response to something major in one's life and for all that I dislike the character, his wooby face makes me want to give him a hug. Meanwhile, they talk VERY LOUDLY about losing the green ranger powers in the middle of the hallway. Secret identities. They don't work like that.

Zedd overhears from the moon (but none of the kids standing next to them do?) and decides to take advantage of that little nightmare. Oh, Zedd! *dreamy fangirl sigh*

At the Youth Center, Billy explains a device he's created that scrambles electronic waves up to twenty feet. He's determined to build an even bigger version that can scramble Zedd's electronic waves from the moon. How that won't interfere with anything else, I'm not sure, but it's Billy and he's awesome so I'll go along with it. Tommy joins them and talks about how hard the paper is going to be and his nightmares and how he fails at being Emo Ranger. He's off to the library to find a book on mythology, as that's what he's decided to write his paper on. Before he can leave, however, Bulk and Skull come in with some sort of device. It's somehow going to find some specific signal to tell them who the rangers are. They almost hone in on our six heroes when Billy sets off his scrambler and directs Bulk and Skull to Ernie. Ernie's pretending is kind of cute, actually. Defeated, they leave and Tommy follows. At some point Jason was mocking Bulk and Skull, but I was too busy being distracted by his pretty pretty arms to notice what he said.

Tommy's alone in the park, which is never a good thing. Sure enough, he's attacked by putties, captured, and teleported to the Cave of Captivity where he's confronted by Goldar. Goldar is rather sad he had to get Tommy instead of Jason. Tommy swears he won't go evil again and then is promptly put under a spell and swears his allegiance to Lord Zedd. Oh Tommy. Good try there, honey.

He goes back to the Youth Center, his kidnapping and spell going completely unnoticed, and then Zordon calls them all to the Command Center. Apparently Zedd has sent down the Robogoat. Tommy wants to fight, they want him to conserve his powers, yada yada yada. He has a suggestion! Maybe the Convenient Plot Device, I mean, the Sword of Power (which I don't think we ever see again), can infuse him with enough power to fight now! They summon it, he reveals his evilness, and teleports away with the Convenient Plot Device. He gives it to the Robogoat and suddenly the spell is broken. Why? Why let him be good again? I can only assume the plan was intercepted by a large school of fish.

He fights, he falls, his power starts to fail, whatever. This whole time Zordon "can't locate his signal" so the rangers are just kind of standing around. As soon as Tommy is down for good, Zordon miraculously finds him. Now, he can analyze a monster in a matter of seconds, he can teleport people into a supposedly impenetrable dark dimension, and yet he can't find Tommy out in the open in the "we fight here every day" abandoned rock quarry. I'm beginning to think Zordon does this on purpose and it's all an evil plot to get rid of Tommy for good. He's purposely sabotaging Tommy. Or maybe he just got distracted by the fish. Either way.

So the others morph and go fight the Robogoat. He bleats evilly at them which really is more adorable than threatening. I just want to scritch him between his little horns.

The rangers, excluding Jason, fall into a hole and disappear. Jason fights the Robogoat for the Convenient Plot Device. Zordon manages to teleport it back to the Command Center, Robogoat lets the other rangers out of energy bubbles (but they fell in a hole in the ground! FISHY FISH FISH what?), and then they all summon zords and fight. Tommy is sad because he is almost out of power and even Dragonzord won't come fight. The other rangers use their spiffy sword to blow up the monster, and the fight is over. Darn.

Back at a very empty school, Tommy is sitting on the steps trying to be Emo Ranger. Kim is trying to comfort him and Jason either needs acting lessons or really actually doesn't care because he's more condescending than comforting.

List time:
3.5 fish... the Convenient Plot Device was the only glaring problem, but get enough little fish and it adds up.

Billy speak: "It's capable of scrambling electronic signals up to 20 feet away." I consider it borderline Billy speak, but it's all we get this episode, so there you go.

Episode 59- Mighty Morphin' Mutants

As I was wandering the aisles of the grocery today, buying my bread, my milk, my kitchen sponges, I stopped at the beer aisle. You see, we're out of beer and while we don't drink often, we do occasionally enjoy a nice cold one. I stood there, pondering my choices. Was it a Shiner kind of week? Would Guinness be more fitting? Oh, but there was a new Canadian import on sale that I'd wanted to try, so maybe that. And while I thought about which to purchase, I remembered the episode scheduled for viewing and recapping tonight. As I remembered this episode, I immediately turned away from the beer, paid for my groceries, and headed next door to the liquor store. This episode requires something far harder than a grocer could provide. And that, dear readers, should tell you everything you need to know about tonight's episode.

It's a Tommy episode and we start off with Tommy running down the school hallway. He's late. Again. Kim asks him what's going on and he tells her he's late for Mrs. Applebee's class. I wonder why she's not also late for class, and why she's not in the same class with him as they seem to share every class, but then I remember Mrs. Applebee teaches English, and Science, and Social Studies, and who knows what else. So... yeah. Anyway. He's late.

He sneaks in just in time for Mrs. Applebee to give them their assignment. And before we're even ONE MINUTE into the episode, I teeter on the verge of blackout rage. But I have artificial means of calming my nerves and that's the only thing that saves this episode and has kept this recap out of all caps.

You see, their assignment is to ask their friends to choose something about said person that needs a little work. And then they have to go about trying to fix that problem. So basically they have to go ask all their friends "Hey, what's wrong with me?" and then try to fix it. Um... that's not cool. Yeah, acknowledge your flaws and all that. But to ask teenagers to go around asking other teenagers what's bad about themselves? That's... a disaster waiting to happen. I would have WEPT had I been given such an assignment in school. I also know there would have been a large handful of people jumping at the chance to tell me the fact I existed at all was what was wrong with me... so yeah. This assignment fills me with rage. Bad horrible awful soul-crushing assignment.

Moving on. Bulk is actually rather astute in that he goads Tommy that he'll be lucky if he can even remember what the assignment is. Because Tommy is forgetful. And this episode points it out with startling consistency.

We cut to Goldar conducting a putty training session. It's ADORABLE! I love it. Poor Number 6 just isn't cutting it though, so Goldar sends him back to the clay factory. Goldar then hands out five discs and we discover the putties are going to morph and become ranger clones. We have black, pink, yellow, blue, and green. No red because Number 6 couldn't cut it. Of course he couldn't. Goldar wants the real thing. He'll settle for nothing less than Jason himself. No putty would have been able to pass the Goldar Jason-obsession test.

Tommy asks what his flaws are. First he borrows a towel and some water from Jason because he forgot his, and Jason tells him he's forgetful. He gets a little offended and is all "C'mon man!" but Jason has walked off. Then he asks Kim and Trini and they agree, he's forgetful. He has to agree with them after he buys a soda, puts a straw in it, and then forgets it on the counter. He then says he forgot he was forgetful. *headdesk*

We then see Tommy and Kim walking through the park together and they come across the green and pink Putty Rangers. Tommy tells Kim not to morph and they get their rear-ends handed to them. They wait until the fight is over and the Putty Rangers are gone to contact Zordon and let him know what's up. They discover there is no red Putty Ranger because Rita has sent down Commander Crayfish in it's place (and poor Putty Number 6 couldn't get Goldar's Jason-obsessed approval).

The next day, as Tommy forgets just about everything else, Billy gives him a device he worked on the night before. It's a little memory device that has everything Tommy needs to do programmed into it and sounds an alarm at the required time. Billy was actually helpful! Except then they talk about taking their minds off Rita's evil rangers in the middle of the very crowded Youth Center and seriously, secret identities don't work that way. While at school, Kim just ties a bunch of ribbons on Tommy's wrist and tells him that will help him remember. The memory device short circuits just in time for Tommy to realize he's forgotten his notebook, the one with all his homework and notes in it that Trini worked so hard helping him organize. And goodness knows what else he's forgotten (aside from a soda he just bought, a towel, his water for after working out, what attacks he's using during sparring, etc etc etc).

It's at this point that I begin to wonder if Tommy has a brain tumor because seriously, this goes way beyond just forgetful. This is disturbing serious mental damage levels of forgetfulness. TSB's theory is that it's something Rita did to him when he was evil and while I never put much stock in that beforehand, the end of this episode gives us a plausible theory. More on that later.

So Tommy leaves his morpher in his locker and skips class to run home and get his homework folder. Meanwhile, the other five are called away before reaching class, so they end up skipping as well. They go fight Commander Crayfish and the Putty Rangers. They do okay, but not too terribly well. Tommy finally gets back and hears his morpher, so he goes to join the fight. La de da. Fight scenes aren't my favourite, sorry. Zordon gives them new weapons after they get their asses handed to them AGAIN, and they look just like the old weapons, but are supposedly way more powerful. They blast the Putty Rangers into the air and then Rita makes them grow. Even the putties grew. This happened before when Tommy was evil. Rita made him grow. I had forgotten, but TSB reminded me, and it cleared up some things. Perhaps Tommy really did suffer brain damage from the massive growth and then shrinking down. Surely it would have adversely affected his internal anatomy.

Anyway, they call the zords, they fight, they call Titanus, they win. End of fight, yay!

Back at school the following day, poor Tommy is still forgetful. The others make him feel better about it, telling him it's okay because nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws and that's what make you special and your real friends will love you despite your shortcomings. Which is a good lesson, sure, but falls flat after the whole "ask everyone you know what they think is WRONG WITH YOU" assignment. *sigh* Not to mention that the level of forgetfulness Tommy exhibited was downright FRIGHTENING and worrisome. Like, what is physically wrong with him, get him into a doctor asap, kind of worrisome.

Bulk and Skull show up to school dressed as gentlemen. They are cleaned up nicely, hair washed and styled, wearing suits. They look pretty darn good! They even brought a present for Mrs. Applebee, but she refuses to open it and insists they open it for her. It ends up shooting silly string all over Bulk and his nice suit. Mrs. Applebee then turns to the rangers and says, and I quote, "Well, I suppose some of us will never change." and then LAUGHS. WORST. TEACHER. EVER.

So yes, I needed that hard liquor to keep me calm through this episode, mostly because of the assignment. Seriously, I would have had a freaking mental breakdown had I been assigned that in school. That's... just not okay.

Lists:

5 fish. It kept some continuity and all, but that assignment! I can't get past it. And Tommy's disturbing level of forgetfulness without being called on it. Myocardial infarction was less worrisome than this mess.

Billy speak: none really

Covered in food: none

Episode 58 - Football Season

Hi everyone I am back from San Francisco! I am totally jet lagged and operating on caffeine and willpower, so my apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense. But seriously, I haven't watched Power Rangers in over a week* so it only makes sense that the first episode I watch is a Tommy episode, right? This episode actually starts off really well (and man, it is pretty) but unfortunately it then deteriorates into a large pile of fish, and even the pretty cannot save it. Also, I do not care about football (BASEBALL. Why are they not playing baseball???) so I'm sure there are plenty of football references that I just missed or whatever.

The episode begins with Tommy and Jason in the hallway admiring their nice arms. Well, Jason has nice arms. Tommy's arms are kinda scrawny. But actually they're talking about football, and Jason is encouraging Tommy to try out for the team, possibly so they can wrestle and pat each other on the butt. Bulk is also trying out for the team, and Skull is his coach. Bulk charges down the hallway, crashes into the principal, and then they get more detention. We think they might still be there, since they have to be up to at least 20 years at this point.

Later, in the Youth Center, Tommy is sulking about how he doesn't understand football, and he's worried about being rejected. This is almost endearing. Almost. It's just that Adam does it so much better than Tommy does. Ernie offers to coach Tommy, since apparently Ernie was awesome at football in college. That's so sweet of him! It's inappropriately young friends, the older generation! Bulk wanders into the Youth Center in a tutu, and Skull mispronounces ballet. Those two are oddly endearing in this episode. We're getting closer to them getting character development, yay! Trini and Kim ask Tommy if he wants to go to the park with them to play flag football, but he says no so that Ernie can train him. Whatever.

Tommy fails at grasping the concept of football. You are not supposed to kick people in the head, Tommy! That is not a very hard concept to grasp! It is not karate. (Okay, I do approve of the scene where he does push ups. I am shallow. Whatever.) Oh, and there are more hijinks of Bulk in his tutu in detention. Whatever. (Amazingly, there are other students! Maybe they got a bigger budget?)

Meanwhile, in the park, David Yost is really pretty. Seriously, we chat during the recaps and it pretty much deteriorated into "OH HI THERE DAVID'S ARMS" for a while. For the record, both of us would watch a show where they just played sports. (Also, if Billy can play football, Tommy should be able to play football. I guarantee you that Billy just decided to read a book on it that morning and then was all "I know football" and proceeded to beat everyone.)

Anyway, Rita decided she wanted a football team of her own, so she sends Putties down into the park. Billy is an awesome gymnast, the girls kick ass, and for some reason Zack is wearing a shirt. They go to the Command Center where Zordon tells them that as they can tell from the attack, Rita wants her own football team. Really? Because Rita's attacked them while they play basketball and volleyball, and Rita hasn't had that themed monsters yet. Maybe a fish told them.

So they go and fight Rita's monster, who is a rhino or something? But he isn't that important, because there are FOOTBALL PUTTIES. AMAZING. Except then the monster sends them to an alternate dimension, so Zordon needs to call Tommy. Tommy leaves his training while Ernie is on the phone (I hope that's a long phone call, Ernie, because Tommy didn't leave a note) and there's a long fishy explanation about how if Tommy throws his daggers through the mist of the alternate dimension and Jason catches them that the Rangers will be freed? So Tommy fakes surrendering and I don't even know, because this was about the point where our chat deteriorated again, but instead of yelling about Billy's arms, we were yelling about fish. Oh, and Tommy's powers are starting to go out, because it adds drama. Or something.

Especially because then the Megazord appears out of nowhere (seriously, did they summon it in the dimension?) and then it turns out that Tommy's daggers are a boomerang, and also Tommy recovers from his power loss as soon as he sees the Megazord. Fish fish fish.

Back at the Youth Center, Principal Caplan is announcing the football team. Jason, Billy and Zack all make the team. Billy? Seriously? I still can't picture him agreeing to play this sport. Although the boys look really pretty in the uniforms. And I can't think its a good idea for them to be all on a team - what happens when Rita attacks? Does she just know not to attack during their practices and games? Will this ever be referenced again? Anyway, a bunch of other people are on the team, and Kimberly and Trini are sad because Tommy appears not to make it. Zack sees that Caplan dropped a sheet of paper, and calls Bulk's name. Trini and Kim clap half-heartedly, and Bulk comes out in a uniform + a tutu. And then Caplan calls Tommy's name. Apparently Tommy is the Star quarterback.

That sound you just heard is a combination of hysterical laughter and yelling. Okay, first of all, they haven't played any games yet. Second, Tommy did not deserve this which is what they say repeatedly. Sure, let him make the team. Fine. Whatever. But he's been playing for a day and he knows nothing about any of the strategies or anything else. (I do watch Friday Night Lights, although even that show has failed to explain football to me. Except I would like Jason Street to be a superhero.)

Anyway. This episode gets 5 fish. It started out really well and then fell apart. Even the pretty cannot save it.



*This is not true. I visited ryuutchi while I was there, and I was horrified to find out that she hadn't yet seen Ranger Blue, and she was horrified that I'd never seen any of Jungle Fury, so we watched some episodes. Theo and RJ are totally awesome, just so everyone knows. And Flynn is still my favorite. Well, except for Adam. But Flynn is my favorite for RPM! So.** Also, my friends who I went on vacation with very nicely put up with my babbling about my apocabigbang even though neither of them are in this fandom, as they are awesome. ♥ ♥ ♥

**I did mention that I was running on pure caffeine and willpower, right?

Episode 53- Fins and Needles

So the episode list has episode 53 listed as Fowl Play. Even the little title screen has it as Fowl Play. I was so so so excited to recap a Zack episode today! But no, we start it up and get Fins and Needles instead. Yet another Jason and Tommy Need to Learn to Work Together episode. Which makes number what, four, for that theme? If they haven't learnt the lesson by now, I don't think they're going to. So anyway.

Uh, today on Power Rangers, Jason and Tommy are dense, Zordon kind of fails, the rangers are creepy with small children, and Jason really needs some fiber for regularity.

We start out the episode with Tommy and Jason getting along just fine while teaching a free martial arts class for small people at the Youth Center. This is where we start going "Wait... what? Where's Zack?" And we decide we really like appreciating Jason's arms in this episode, but I would really like to appreciate Jason's arms in a Zack-centric episode. Not that I'm bitter or anything. Anyway, moving on.

Rita creates the Slippery Shark monster and has some putties go down to put Jason and Tommy under a spell. Again. They end up in a park fighting the putties when Tommy gets knocked down. Jason protects him by standing over him and catching some evil boomerang with the palms of his hands. Mmkay. Basically this means they're now under a spell. Again.

The putties leave and they start fighting. Again. Haven't we done this plot before? *le sigh*

At school the following day, Tommy is leaning against Jason's locker while talking to Kim and Trini. Jason says excuse me, prompting Tommy to move, but then they just stand there and insult each other like an old married couple. We chuckle because Tommy is just flinging crap, but Jason's insults are actually true. Kim and Trini have no clue what's going on, but soon the insults escalate into physical violence. Bulk and Skull actually sort of attempt to break it up when Mrs. Applebee walks up, asks what's going on, and then accuses them of lying when they tell her exactly what's going on. Kim jumps in and tells her Jason and Tommy were just practicing moves for their class and way to just flat out LIE to the teacher, Kim. The boys get off the hook because, well, one teacher and they're the favourites.

At the Youth Center again, Bulk and Skull are selling tickets to the Jason and Tommy fight. They're making a killing and some guy buys 20 tickets randomly. It's not a raffle, dude, it's just admission. I have to comment here that Jason doesn't look so much angry as constipated. Upon commencement of the fight, Zack steps in to try and break it up. He just wants them to get along! Sweet sweet Zack, we love you so. I wish this were your episode.

Zordon, after spending probably about 24 hours without noticing the spell, contacts the rangers. Zack manages to break up the fight long enough to get Jason and Tommy to go into the hallway and teleport to the Command Center. The very large crowd of teenagers don't notice, don't follow, but instead chase Bulk and Skull for a refund. It's either major secret identity FAIL or major teenagers are dumb... with Angel Grove, either or both is plausible.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them about the Slippery Shark and how they need to go fight it. And oh yeah, Jason and Tommy are under a spell that makes them fight, by the way, did you notice? *eyeroll* Apparently the only way to break the spell is to get them to set aside their animosity and work together. Y'know, just like every other time this plot has been used with Jason and Tommy.

So the two of them go off to fight the shark together, leaving the others behind in the Youth Center to twiddle their thumbs, possibly find a very uncomfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen), and observe the viewing globe.

Jason and Tommy can't seem to work together and separate to fight the shark. Tommy wants to attack him while he's under ground, Jason wants to go after him while he's in the air. They decide to go their own way and if Tommy wins he gets to be leader of the Power Rangers and if Jason wins he gets Tommy's power coin. We cheer for Jason. Loudly. Neither of them succeed, though, and after a few minutes of me going "Oh hai thar sentai footage!" (because neither Jason David Frank nor Austin St. John are that skinny and lanky), they finally decide to combine their plans.

Somehow this means throwing a net over the shark while he's popping out the ground? It really had nothing to do with their individual plans, but okay. They worked together and the spell is broken, just like that. So instead of calling for the others, they continue to fight the shark just the two of them. The others must still be busy... observing the viewing globe... possibly from the back of the Volkswagen.

Eventually they can't fight it anymore and call the others. I get excited because Zack gets to do the morphin call! We get some awesome Power Weapons shots, but then the monster grows and they have to call the Zords. The shark just kind of runs between the MegaZord and the DragonZord and they don't seem to try to fight it at all. Then they decide to go with teamwork. The MegaZord holds the shark's fin while the DragonZord whaps it a few times with it's tail. They're making headway! And we haven't even heard mention of the Power Sword yet! So I get all ahead of myself and we have this conversation:
QR: teamwork... by holding the fin so the DragonZord can whack at him for awhile?
okay...
at least it's not another "Power Sword saves them all" fight
or is it?
TSB: you were saying?
QR: oh, it is
nevermind
damn
In other words, they hit it with the Power Sword and it goes kaboom.

Back at the Youth Center, Jason and Tommy are teaching the small children in the free karate class again. Billy, Trini, Kim, and Zack are standing on the sidelines watching and talking VERY LOUDLY about Rita putting Jason and Tommy under a spell. Y'know, talking about being rangers, while standing right next to a group of kids? That's not how secret identities work, guys, I'm just saying. Bulk and Skull come in and demand the fight they feel they are owed. Jason and Tommy provoke them and then step out of the way when Bulk and Skull try to punch them. Bulk and Skull keel over and Jason and Tommy tell the kids of the class that there are always ways other than fighting. The other four are touching the inappropriately young friends inappropriately and I'm bothered.

I still wish this had been the Zack episode.

List time-
2 fish, mostly because I'm already tired of this plot, cohesive though it is.

Billy speak: "It's truly inspiring to see them volunteer their time to teach free classes."
"This confrontation could have disastrous results!"

Covered in food: nobody!

Episode 52 - Two Heads are Better Than One

This episode sucked AND it pissed me off.




... Apparently I still have to do a recap. Fine. Tommy and Jason are teaching a women's self defense class. Good for them, although I would have liked Trini to have been the one teaching it. But then we get to their advice. Which apparently boils down to yell really loudly and always use the buddy system. Because, you know, if you walk by yourself you'll be raped and it will totally be your fault and WHAT THE HELL SHOW. Rage blackout number 1. (There was a lot more cursing and a lot more all caps in the first draft of this post.)

Also, apparently they're just teaching the moms of Angel Grove. Because if you're not in high school you must be a mother and it isn't like there are any single women. Or maybe they should just stay at home by themselves.

Anyway, class ends, and the Rangers all go to try Ernie's new drink. I guess all the money from the reward paid off. Bulk and Skull show up, wanting to join the class that Jason and Tommy are teaching. The boys point out that the class is over, and then Trini reminds them that it is a women's self defense class. Bulk and Skull say that they just want to meet babes, like Kimberly, and then Skull sniffs her hair, and in context it is so incredibly inappropriate that I have rage blackout number 2.

Apparently this episode is supposed to be about teamwork or something, because Rita creates a monster that has two heads, since that's better than one. They repeat that a lot. Tommy and Jason get attacked in the park and they morph. Jason wants to fight, but Tommy wants to retreat. I guess this is also the Tommy and Jason need to learn how to get along episode. Which already happened once.

So, they go with Tommy's plan and teleport to the Command Center instead of just calling for help. Apparently the way to defeat the ridiculous bird thing is to feed it a pamango fruit. Hey, guess what type of drinks Ernie was serving earlier! Gee, I wonder if this will be relevant. Tommy goes to the park to go climb a tree and find a fruit, but he gets attacked by putties and they steal the pamango. I guess that there was only one tree and that tree only had one fruit. Right. Whatever. But seriously, if it's native to Angel Grove, couldn't they have gone to a grocery store?

Instead, Tommy goes to Ernie and feeds him a bullshit story about how he bought Kim a parrot and the parrot needs a pamango. Ernie humors him and gives him the fruit (I am firmly convinced that he assumes it was for Ranger related reasons and was amazed at the sheer stupidity of Tommy's lie) and Tommy goes off to join the other Rangers, who have been fighting the monster. Apparently Jason is failing at teamwork because he didn't wait for Tommy? Because this monster is too smart for them? I fail to see how waiting for Tommy will improve their chances. Anyway, Tommy shows up with the fruit and the monster fights over the fruit. It reminds us of gooney bird eggs. Rita makes the monster grow, and they summon Titanus and defeat it. (Side note - it seems that Tommy is way more powerful than the rest of them, but isn't he operating on limited power?)

Back at the Youth Center, Ernie asks Kim about her parrot, but apparently Tommy never bothered to tell her about the lie, so she's totally confused. Bulk and Skull interrupt the women's self defense class, and it is time for rage blackout number 3. Jason and Tommy allow Bulk and Skull to be the attackers in the self defense class, and the moms beat them up. Which I actually have a problem with, because you need to learn how to take a fall, and they could have been actually hurt, and basically everything about this episode upset me.

I fail to see how the last line of "two moms are better than one" is relevant anyway. Or why this episode was about teamwork. It is now stricken from my personal canon.


Fish. FIVE FISH. Between the rage inducing and the fact that the plot made no sense there's nothing else we could give it.

Billy speak: "It's a mixture of ananas comosus, cydia fruit, and carica fruit" (seriously? Google tells us it is actually Cydia FRUIT MOTHS. I'm really grossed out now.) (We're hoping that he actually said SANDIA fruit, which is watermelon. But it sure didn't sound that way.)
"By doubling it's cranial capacity, Rita has created a..."
"Perhaps we could distract it with it's favourite food. Parrots do like fruit."

Quotable Quotes: Polly want a megazord?