Episode 206- Shift Into Turbo Part 1

THESE GUYS ARE THE WORST FRIENDS EVER.

We get a new Divatox. She is wearing more clothing than the movie, and she's seeking only to mess with the Rangers, not to attract a man/lava monster/thing, so I like this one better! Elgar is not dead. The fish missed him too much and went into the lava pit to rescue him, apparently. Stupid fish. He is, apparently, still a little crispy. The Piranatron design is much better than the movie, at least.

The Rangers are graduating high school. This means it's the end of the year. Justin is taking a placement test to determine what grade he should be in (apparently he moved around a lot? I don't get it...). At the end of the school year. For some reason they decide they don't need to use his previous school records. Whatever. He finishes the test with an hour to spare and Mrs. Applebee compares his scantron with one of the correct answers, her eyes wide. THAT IS NOT HOW SCANTRONS WORK.

Anyway, here is where they are horrible horrible friends. THEY HAVE NOT TOLD ROCKY ALL OF WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE TURBO POWERS. IT HAS BEEN AN ENTIRE MONTH SINCE THE EVENTS OF THE MOVIE. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO DIVATOX IS, YOU GUYS. Worst. Friends. Ever. They decide to wait for Justin to get there to tell Rocky more about the events from the movie. Y'know, so Rocky can see how very excited his replacement is and all the Super Fun Adventure Times is had without him. Great job, guys! Way to rub it in!

We then get a really long and boring montage of clips from the movie. We could have skipped the movie and recapped that instead. There's an hour and a half of my life gone.

Justin then asks if Rocky is sure he doesn't want his powers back. Rocky is still suffering from his back injury (duh, it's only been a month!) and is fine letting Justin keep them. Adam tells him he'll always be a ranger in spirit. Rocky's response? "That's nice." HAHAHAHHA ROCKY I LOVE YOU.

An aside here. TSB and I love the theory of power addiction. They have a hard time giving up their powers because they are addicted to the power itself, and after it's gone, they always want it back (see: Adam and Tommy, for the best examples). I have head!canon that Rocky is one of the very very few in the history of rangers who really doesn't get addicted. He loves being a ranger, but he's actually okay with handing his powers over, with just stopping. It doesn't bother him. Unlike Adam. ahem

So, back to the episode. Rocky is opening a dojo after graduation instead of going to college. I like this theory! Especially since we know Adam also has a dojo in Angel Grove (thank you, Once a Ranger!). I stand by my theory they run the dojo together. As partners. In ALL respects.

Tommy is skipping graduation. Because he's driving a racecar instead. This... is not how racecars work.

Alpha calls them to the Power Chamber, and they scamper off leaving Rocky on his own. Alpha has a surprise! He's baked them a graduation cake. It has little Power Ranger toppers on it. AWWWWWW. The seniors go off to do graduation stuff and Justin tries to sneak some of the icing from the cake. Alpha won't let him. He calls him Young Man. My heart squishes in delight at the adorableness.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are patrolling an empty parking lot. Lt. Stone comes up and sends them to the power plant. Divatox's ship lands in the lake behind him, but he won't listen to Bulk and Skull try to tell him that. He drives off and Bulk tells Skull they will forget what they saw and not tell anybody. Boys, YOU LIVE IN ANGEL GROVE. That is a VERY BAD idea. They go to the power plant where they meet up with Elgar who is trying to set a bomb. He uses some kind of ray gun to turn them into chimpanzees. BULK AND SKULL ARE CHIMPANZEES FOR AGES AND WE DON'T EVEN GET THE SPIN-OFF SHOW. I am so disappointed. *sadface* Elgar sets the detonator for 60 minutes. An entire hour? Really? That's more than enough time to disarm the darn thing. Oh villains. You suck at being... villain-like.

Bulk and Skull attempt to contact the police on their radios. They just make chimp noises, however, and the other police assume it's kids messing about and TURN OFF THE SCANNER. These police should be FIRED.

Justin decides to go check out what's going on with the chimp noises. He stops by the power plant on his way to graduation and finds Elgar there.

To Be Continued.

4.5 fish. Ugh. Let's just get this season over with.

Episode 179- Bulk Fiction

OMG YOU GUYS! THIS EPISODE YOU GUYS! I want to give it milk and cookies and snuggle it close forever and ever.

Bulk is in LOVE, guys! He and Skull are chasing a remote controlled car, because it's speeding you see, when Lt. Stone introduces the newest cadet. Her name is Connie and she is the Captain's daughter. Skull thinks she's a little weird. But Bulk? Bulk has a HUGE crush already. It's adorable!

They chase the car back to the Youth Center, where they give Billy a ticket for driving it over the speed limit. He says he was just testing it out before donating it to the kids toy charity. There is a dance that night and the admission is a donated toy. Good idea, actually!

Meanwhile, Sprocket throws a temper tantrum because he wants a new toy too. So Mondo makes a new toy and he gets to take it down and mess with the rangers.

So Bulk wants to woo this new girl. Skull suggests he go to a love expert and the first person he thinks of is Tanya. Aw, Bulk asking Tanya for love advice! She tells him to be himself but poor Bulk just doesn't have the confidence. So he asks Tanya what she likes in a guy and she says sophistication. Bulk thinks he can do that! He attempts to be English with an intentionally not-so-good accent, old slang, and a pot of tea. Aw, Bulk, you'd totally win me over with that one! The Captain intervenes, however, and says there will be no fraternizing, particularly with his daughter. Poor Bulk.

So Billy is almost finished with the Zeo Cannon, but he has to get a part from his garage lab. Instead of teleporting there and back, as he's done many times before, he walks home and back. I suppose he wanted the exercise and sunshine? Anyway, he's running the remote controlled car again when Cogs attack. He, of course, outwits them using the car and his device, because he's Billy and he's AWESOME and this TOTALLY counts as an unmorphed fight. Because he defeats 6 cogs, the monster, AND SPROCKET all on his own without being a ranger, using only his brains. Smart is SO SEXY, you guys. He hightails it back to the Power Chamber (though he asks Alpha to teleport him to the Command Center, heeeee) where he finishes his Zeo Cannon.

Meanwhile, Rocky mocks Tommy. It is awesome. He wouldn't be all mushy and write poetry! Of course not! (and now I totally want fic where he runs home and writes a million sappy poems to Adam, even though he knows Adam is dating Tanya now, because Rocky loves him and can't move on... I have a thing... sorry)

This gives Bulk and idea and he writes a poem for Connie. He and Skull show up AS BEATNIKS to woo her. BEATNIKS! I love this show so much. He wrote her the most awesome poem ever and if he hadn't had me at the fake English, he'd totally have me with the offbeat poetry. SHE IS THE MISSING SOCK IN HIS LAUNDRY PILE YOU GUYS! SUNNY SKIES AND WINDY WIND! *hearts explode everywhere* I'm totally doing the big googly anime eyes, too.

Unfortunately the Captain doesn't like this so much. He fires Lt. Stone and Bulk and Skull leave the force with him because they totally love their fake!Daddy.

Then there is a fight with the rangers and the monster and the Zeo Cannon which gets handed straight to Tommy even though they all have to use it. Either Billy really likes Tommy or he keeps hoping one of his devices will backfire and explode, taking Tommy out in the process and leaving his morpher free for Billy to assume the role of leader. Me? I lean towards the latter. Far far FAR towards the latter. Anyway, they monster grows and they're all SHOCKED! Shocked, I tell you. I still don't know why. Anyway, they beat the monster with the sword, as if we didn't see that coming.

At the dance, they're all dressed as their favourite decade. Billy is way, way into the future. Tanya is a flapper. Kat picked the 50s. Adam is the 60s. Rocky is the 70s. Tommy comes strutting in with an epic entrance and totally shows up Rocky. Rocky is NOT HAPPY. Lt. Stone is Sherlock Holmes while Bulk and Skull are policemen. It's adorable. They agree to open up a detective business with Lt. Stone.

Connie comes in and Bulk starts to apologize for the way he acted. She shushes him and tells him there is no need. Her father is overprotective and she quit the force, which she only joined to please her dad, so she can be with Bulk. She asks him to dance and he says he'd like that and they go dance and I EXPLODE FROM TEH CUTE! Seriously, most adorable thing EVER on Power Rangers.

1.5 fish. It was low fish! Mostly because Billy was so damn sexy while he was being so damn smart. And Bulk being in love with somebody who appreciates him as well is ALWAYS 100% AWESOME!

Fic we want: TSB demands a Watchmen AU where Billy is Ozymandias.
I just want Rocky writing sappy and Emo-rific love poetry for Adam. He totally should have gone as the 80s. He'd make a really hot Robert Smith... Okay, somebody needs to write that for me. I need this fic like I've never needed any other.

(I should totally mention that it was hard to decide if I should go with John Travolta Walk of Epicness or BeeGees Stayin Alive video of Epic Hair and Tight Pants for Tommy... so I went with both. And if the comments turned into a Cure video linking lovefest... well... it just might make my week)

Episode 178 - It Came From Angel Grove

This is probably in my top 5 favorite episodes of Power Rangers. There are not enough words to describe how much I love it. Why? Because a) it's hilarious and b) it's a pretty detailed look into Adam's subconscious. In other words, it's pretty much written for me.

Spoilers - the whole thing is a dream. I'm getting that out of the way now, so I can talk about what it says about Adam's psyche. Because clearly, that is why I love this episode. Also, there will probably be ALL THE CAPS. (You think I'm bad now, just wait until we get to Always a Chance.)

So. Let us begin.

It was a dark and stormy night. Adam and Tanya were having a "study session" after hours at the school. For some reason, the school is open and they haven't been kicked out yet. I have no idea why. Tanya is ready to give up, but Adam says he wants to stay at the school and study some more. Really, Adam? Cram sessions are not good for you. Go home with Tanya and get some rest!

Bulk and Skull are supposedly on night patrol of the school, and we're briefly wondering if they even go to school any longer. We're guessing no, and they graduated. They offer to escort Tanya home because of the storm, but she sees right through them and instead offers to walk them home, while Adam stays at school without letting his parents know what's going on.

A few hours later, he needs a break and turns on the tv, where what looks like an amazing bad movie is playing - The Bride of Hackensack. It apparently features a witch, a vampire and a werewolf teaming up to stop a mad doctor and his evil bride, and I would watch the hell out of this movie. He falls asleep while watching the movie, only to wake up when a black cat jumps on him. Awww, kitty!

He follows the cat and immediately runs into Rita and Zedd. They inform him that while he was asleep, Mondo and Machina have conquered the Earth and captured all the other Rangers. This sucks for them, because they can't win, and they don't think that's fair. Oh, and all of his friends have been transformed, and his zeonizers and communicators are missing. DUN DUN DUN.

I love that Adam's worst nightmare is that he wasn't there to help save the world. Oh, Adam, you have so much angst, and I love you so much for it.

Anyway, if he goes to find some powerful wizard and gives him the cape of a vampire, a catseye, the hair of a werewolf and the wrapping of a mummy, he can convince the wizard to fix things. It's like the plot of Into the Woods, but BETTER.

As the scene changes Adam finds himself in the juicebar, but all the color has vanished, leading to the best line. "Who turned off the color?" Oh, Adam, you are my favorite forever. He immediately recognizes Tommy, who offers him a drink (served by Ernie). Adam turns it down, and ahahah TOMMY IS A VAMPIRE. HE WANTS TO DRINK FROM ADAM.

Um. Here's the thing. Vampires are a metaphor for sex. SO YEAH. ADAM/TOMMY FOREVER, YOU GUYS.

... alternately, Adam thinks that Tommy sucks. Take your pick.

Mondo shows up and sends down some cogs, and we get one of the few unmorphed fight scenes of the season. Oh, Adam. You are so awesome. He easily beats the cogs, and then tries to steal Tomacula's (no, seriously) cape. Tomacula lunges after him, but suddenly a rope appears, and Rocky's voice calls down "make haste, lad!"

Um. Rocky should talk like that all the time. And I would like to thank whoever filmed the gratuitous ass shots as Adam climbed up the rope. A++++ good job.

So Rocky is in a suit and is really hot and calls Adam "old chap." He's apparently Lord Henry of Henry Hall, and I want this to exist as a bad romance novel so badly.

They get chased by wolves, but Rocky is obviously a werewolf. There is shirt ripping, but not nearly enough of it. Fail, show!

Werewolves are also a metaphor for sex. And masculinity. And passion. And wolves mate for life.

Yeah. *has a ship*

Rocky!Wolf runs off, and Adam grabs some of his hair (and I'm not even going to comment on that, okay? I'm being good) and then Lt. Stone shows up with the worst accent I've ever heard claiming to be the Burgermeister, which allows Adam to figure out that he's in the movie. The Burgermeister tells him there's a professor who might be able to help him, so Adam goes off in search of Billy.

Except it isn't Billy. It's Skull. Because deep down Adam totally knows that Skull is smart. This is more proof that Skull should totally have been the mentor in DT. Professor Skull is about to cast a magic spell, but the mummy of Prince Bulkenhotep awakens.

This is so freaking amazing I can't even comment.

Anyway, the mummy gets unwrapped, and Adam steals a piece of the wrapping, and Professor Skull and the Mummy are clearly going to be together forever, and I am dying forever.

The next room contains the mad scientist, who is Billy. Or rather, William Von Hackensack. Who has created his bride - Tanya.

This actually really works for me. In a really creepy way. Tanya replaced Billy so in some weird way could be a creation. Look, apparently this makes sense in my head, and Adam's, and the writers.

Of course, the part that really works for me is when Billy asks Adam if he likes Tanya. GEE, I WONDER WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO SIGNIFY.

*has another ship*

Adam follows the cat out and the cat transforms into, well, Kat. The witch.

Possibly Adam has some unresolved issues about the whole park cat thing. He takes her catseye necklace, and ends up in the Wizard's Chamber, and the episode turns into a giant Wizard of Oz parody, and it is everything I love. Oh, and all the Rangers are encased in the tubes where the Mighty Morphin suits usually are. AMAZING.

So, Zordonicus, the great and powerful, lets Adam know that there's more to the test, and he has to choose one of his friends to fight a monster, since I guess we have to use some sentai footage.

In the stupidest line of the episode, Adam actually asks "What would Tommy do?" I guess so he could figure out what not to do? But instead, this counts as him choosing Tommy.

At least he didn't choose something that could never ever possibly destroy us.

Long boring fight featuring Tommy follows, and wow, am I glad this episode exists, because otherwise we would have had another one that just featured Tommy. So Tommy wins, but it turns out that Zordonicus was actually Mondo, and Adam's REAL nightmare is that he accidentally did something wrong and helped bring about the end of the world.

Oh, ADAM. SO MANY HUGS. SO MANY.

Tanya wakes him up, and it turns out that he was there all night. I guess his parents really don't care where he is at night, which I'm sure that Rocky and Tanya appreciate.

The movie is still on, and Adam has the and you were there moment, and the other Rangers are all excited for the movie and suggest they watch it at Tanya's later. (Except um, isn't she living with Kat?)

Adam says no, he's had enough of horror movies, and then the cat shows up, since it's apparently been living in school for weeks.

How Adam does on the test, we will never know.

Fish: 1. It was all just a dream, the fish do not count.

Fic we want: ROMANCE NOVEL.

BEST EPISODE EVER.

Episode 176- Brother, Can You Spare An Arrowhead

This episode is really boring.

It's also a time-filler. We get a full morphing sequence, a full Zord summoning sequence, and a full MegaZord combining sequence.

The subplot is the most interesting part, so I'm going to start with that. Bulk and Skull, having lost Rito and Goldar, finally make it home with them. They're hanging out in the garage when the Monster Sirens give them the all clear. How much do I love that Angel Grove has Monster Siren? Lt. Stone tracks them down to the garage and they scramble to hide Rito and Goldar. Lt. Stone tells them they have to take a psychological evaluation before they can be officers. They are to meet him at the Youth Center. Why they're doing a psychological exam in the Youth Center instead of the Junior Police headquarters I have NO idea. The fish (ie, the budget) directed them there, I guess.

So Bulk and Skull see monsters in all the ink blots Lt. Stone shows them. Bulk even says one of them looks like the Putties! He remembers the Putties! He even makes Putty noises! I love Bulk. Lt. Stone looks over their responses. The results? You live in Angel Grove. Unfortunately, that's not verbatim from the episode, but it should have been. Because that's basically what it says. The results are that Bulk and Skull think about monsters ALL THE TIME (duh, they live in Angel Grove). While this means they can't be officers in any other city, because they live in Angel Grove, they are exactly what the Police Force is looking for. So basically? The results: You live in Angel Grove.

Now, the actual plot of this episode? Very boring.

The MUST BE REPEATED BECAUSE REALLY TOMMY? setup: Tommy meets up with Mondo. He's told he can hand over his arrowhead and Mondo will give him his brother back. Tommy's memory sucks because he's apparently forgotten all the other times they've traded powers and valuables to get back hostages, only to have the Big Bad stick their tongue out and go "Nyah nyah nyah boo boo!" in their faces. Which is, unsurprisingly, just what Mondo does. OF COURSE he doesn't give David back. DUH.

Somehow this makes Tommy MORE focused and he's able to combine the zords. Uh... okay? Anyway, he basically just hugs the back of the MegaZord and it makes a bunch of guns out of his arms. They defeat the monster.

Tommy goes to talk to Sam Trueheart because he needs to know what's the deal with the arrowhead. Sam tells him it controls monsters if it's in contact with some magical rock. Tommy is barely listening and it clearly irritates Sam, who tells him David needs to come home now.

David is teleported out of the cave with the monster the cave created and cogs come and grab him. Mondo comes down too, just to taunt the rangers. David is all excited to see them. It's kind of cute. He's all upset that Mondo has the arrowhead, though. Tommy manages to get David away from the cogs and teleports him to "safety", which in Ranger-land means Somewhere Else. David is flipping out because he thinks Mondo has Tommy. Tommy takes off his helmet to show David that no, he's really okay, because he's the red ranger. David is the first person they've outright told that does NOT become a ranger later on.

Mondo finds the rock. He puts the arrowhead on it. Tommy finds Mondo at the rock. Tommy takes the arrowhead. It's... really easy and stupid. Somewhere in there the rangers beat the monster that was created in the cave. It was really boring and I've forgotten most of it already, a whole 15 minutes after watching the episode.

Back at the Youth Center, David is emoting all over his glass of water. Tommy talks to him and they try to figure out what to do with the arrowhead. They could just take it to Sam Trueheart, y'know, David's adoptive father, the wise man that bestows all kinds of wisdom on them all the darn time. Instead they both hold it and it magically separates. Mmkay.


4.5 fish. It just piled up everywhere.

Episode 173 - Inner Spirit

OH MAN, YOU GUYS. Look, we're both in the south, and I just got out of the house today for the FIRST TIME since Sunday. Being stuck in the house = NOT FUN. Also, I managed to get to the store today, and now I have wine. Yay!

SO.

We're still on the All About Tommy run of episodes. This is... clearly not my favorite thing in the universe. However, there's a ton of continuity in these episodes, and there's actually some pretty awesome stuff in it. Also, Davis is freaking pretty.

We begin with a flashback to the Stereotype Quests where Tommy thinks about the Magical Arrowhead that he was given. Then we see a flash of the Megazord being drained. Tommy is concerned about his dream, so he actually goes to see Zordon.

The scene in the power chamber is really cute - Alpha's got on a nightcap! Zordon is all concerned about what time it is! The Megazord appears to be fine, but the Power Chamber experiences a brief power loss.

The next day, it turns out that the Youth Center is host to a Native American cultural event. We're not sure why this exhibit is being held at the Youth Center and not at a museum but whatever. Apparently it's also being sponsored by the Police, and since it's important for it to be a success, Lt. Stone gives the very important job of selling raffle tickets for it to Bulk and Skull. Apparently the one who sells the most tickets gets a free trip to Hawaii. The two keep trying to sell tickets (even to Principal Caplan!) but apparently someone named Delmar has beat them to it.

For the record, we would totally watch a show about Bulk and Skull in Hawaii.

Anyway, Tommy arrives (late) to the exhibit, and runs into the guy from his Zeo Quest. The guy claims not to recognize him, but Tommy is sure it's the same person, and offers to drive him somewhere to spend some time. He shows him the Arrowhead he was given, and when he's dropped off, the guy (Sam Trueheart) suggests that this is a good place to look for Arrowheads.

Mondo's latest monster is an energy drainer, that is draining power from Angel Grove. For some reason, this is also affecting the Power Chamber. Um. Why is the Power Chamber using Angel Grove's power? REALLY? Zordon doesn't have solar panels or something installed on that thing? Do they pay taxes? You fail so hard, Zordon.

The Rangers all morph in the dark, and that's pretty awesome. We go straight to a Zord fight, and the Megazord has its energy drained, and apparently it will take 3.6 days to recharge. That is suboptimal. Luckily, Billy has a backup plan.

You can read this scene in one of two ways - either Billy has a crush on Tommy, or he just used Tommy as the test case because he wouldn't care if Tommy was lost. YMMV. Anyway, Billy has built a new Zord based on Aquitian technology especially for Tommy, and it runs off Tommy's brainwaves. Tommy needs to be able to concentrate and have inner peace in order for it to work correctly.

Excuse me for a moment.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Ok, done now.

So, Tommy tries to go use his new Battle Zord, but he manages to crash it right out of the gate. Then it falls off a cliff. The other Rangers shoot the monster, and it does way more damage than the Zords did. Tommy finally manages to get his act together, thanks to a vision from Sam Trueheart that basically tells him to stop thinking and he manages to beat the monster.

Back at the Youth Center, it turns out that Delmar is the police chief's son. Bulk and Skull are very sad.

Tommy goes to the desert and a really hot guy on a magical horse appears out of nowhere. The episode ends.

The question I have for you - is this a Piers Anthony Magical Horse, or is this a Mercedes Lackey Magical Horse? Please discuss. (Details on the differences will be provided upon request, but you may not want to know)

Fish - 2! Hey, continuity exists in this episode!

Episode 169 - Mr. Billy's Wild Ride

Before I start the recap - have a link! Fuck Yeah, Power Rangers! For all your ridiculous PR spam needs on tumblr.

Hey, Billy's back! Unfortunately, he brought the fish with him, because man, is this a fish filled episode.

Let me just start off with this. Science doesn't work that way. Space doesn't work that way. In fact, nothing in this episode works the way it's supposed to.

So, this episode. We begin with Tommy pacing back and forth asking how much longer, making us wonder who was pregnant. At that exact time, Billy calls, leading to this exchange in our recapping.

QR: with Tommy's "how soon" it sounds like somebody is in labor. :P
TSB: Billy, clearly. That's the real reason he stayed on Aquitar.

LOOK INTO YOUR HEARTS, YOU KNOW IT IS TRUE.

They chat for a minute, and Billy says he's excited to come home and have a smoothie. This leads to us discussing what we would eat first if we were coming back from an alien planet. (Me: Diet Dr Pepper and pizza. QR: cheeseburger.) We can only assume that the reason Billy wants a smoothie so much is that they're laced with crack.

Anyway, Mondo has a plan that he will prevent Billy from making it home, so he somehow knocks Billy off course, so he's heading into the Machine Empire's base, but Billy swears that he'll get out and push before that happens. Then he has an idea that they can push him out of the way! So the Rangers get the tractor beam working, which means that everyone except Tommy does a bunch of complicated math and Tommy just says fire.

This works, but not in the way they expect, because now Billy is apparently heading into the sun, and for some reason their teleporters won't work, and suddenly the Zords can't go into space, even though they nearly got thrown into the sun 10 episodes ago.

For some reason their power supply is broken and they need to get another one from the university warehouse? This makes no sense, why are they storing their stuff in Angel Grove? I guess the answer is so that we can have a pointless fight scene. They really need to steal Ianto from Torchwood so they can organize all their crap.

Fight scene over, they try to realign the tractor beam, and then it turns out the dish on the roof is out of alignment, so Tommy teleports up there, nearly gets knocked off, and then fixes it.

The tractor beam draws Billy back in, and for some reason Zordon claims that if they don't hear a response for him in 10 seconds it will be too late. Why? He could just be unconscious or something, and they'd revive him when he's drawn back in. This is a failure as dramatic tension, btw, because I am busy ROLLING MY EYES the entire time. Anyway, Billy responds just at the deadline, and Tommy offers to buy him a smoothie. There's later a touching moment where Billy says he was never alone because the Rangers were all with him, and that is freaking adorable. ♥

The b plot that I neglected to mention earlier is that Bulk and Skull were supposed to learn how to navigate with a compass, so they get dropped off in the middle of a desert (that they later claim is a forest) and they are really bad at it. Skull packed an electric can opener, and a bowling ball. Oh, and they need to call a cab when they get back.

Fish: FIVE. Billy brought ALL THE FISH with him.

Next up - It's time for The Letter That Launched A Million Fanfics.

Episode 162- Every Dog Has His Day

If we could strike this episode from canon, we would. I'm on my third beer, and I still spent most of the episode wanting to headdesk. I wanted to make this entire recap be "And this episode is Kat running around failing a lot. It made me mad, but I had beer, and it's Chanukah, so all was well. The end." but I didn't think that would fly. So you get this instead.

But! It's the first night of Chanukah! Chag sameach! We're celebrating with alcohol and I am drinking my, unironically, favourite beer. He'Brew, the Messiah Bold. It's the beer you've been waiting for. And it's kosher. We did a group menorah lighting downtown tonight and then did candles and a present per Small Person at home. Emo Kid spent the hour leading up to his bedtime running around "singing" (by singing, I really mean screaming at the top of his lungs) "Oh Chanukah Oh Chanukah, I light the menorah! I want a party! We'll all dance with Dora!" over and over and over again. But Small People are in bed. And I have beer. And it's been a good first night of Chanukah. Except... well...

This episode is NOT a good way to celebrate Chanukah.

We start off with Kat presenting her completed Civics class project (and watching poor Steve trying to get that out during the outtakes just made me want to laugh). She has trained the very first police dog for the Angel Grove Police. Why they're letting a HIGH SCHOOLER train their search and rescue dog, I have no idea. Based on this episode, she clearly doesn't know what she's doing.

So Bulk and Skull end up in charge of bathing the dog. Instead they bathe themselves. And then the dog runs away. So they go tell Lt. Stone about it, and Kat overhears, so she has to go find the dog too. She ends up outside a cave, where she discovered Cogs trying to disrupt a lava flow (Kim's zord used to live here!) and destroy Angel Grove. So now Angel Grove has mountains, beaches, glaciers, and lava flows? It really is it's own country! Clearly, Angel Grove is Iceland (except the geography still doesn't make sense, even if it's Iceland, but we'll ignore that for now). Angel Grove just got TEN TIMES cooler in my book. *loves Iceland and snuggles it close*

Kat morphs and runs off searching for the dog again. Except oh noes! She falls down! And force demorphs! And breaks the communicator! And twists her ankle! And must run away from cogs on a twisted ankle where she can't morph or contact anybody! If my head hit the desk any harder, I'm afraid I'd break the desk.

So she finds a hiding spot and attaches her broken communicator to the dog's collar. He goes straight to Rocky, Billy, and Tommy. They are about to follow the dog back to Kat when Bulk and Skull, finally having found the dog, take him back to Lt. Stone. Billy goes to the Power Chamber to try to get a fix on Kat's last known location while Rocky and Tommy morph and go look for her. On the awesome bikes they got in the very bad splicing at the beginning of this episode. Why they don't just have Billy locate her and teleport her out we have no idea. I mean, he can teleport a baby FALLING THROUGH MIDAIR and yet he can't locate Kat? Whatever.

The dog manages to get away again and finds Kat. He brings her the zeonizer. How he knew to go get it, we don't know. The fish told him, we suppose. She morphs and is MAGICALLY ALL BETTER. Except partway into the fight against the cogs and fire hydrant monster that found her, she twists her ankle. AGAIN. OH NOES. Tommy comes to her rescue (are we supposed to swoon? Because I'm kind of... well... not).

A very boring fight ensues. They win. Of course.

Back at the Youth Center, Tanya and Kat tease Bulk and Skull because the dog outranks them and will likely be their boss soon. This is not funny. And Tanya and Kat really need longer skirts. And better hairstyles.

I need another beer.

5 fish. All the fish in the world. This is the episode that made more people dislike Kat. And I can't blame them for tuning out after this one. She could have been SOOOOOO much better.

Episode 159 - Target Rangers

AHAHAHA DID YOU SEE THE NEW PROMO FOR SEASON 18? BECAUSE WE DID!

Have a link!

Anyway, let's talk about Zeo and how Rocky is a giant dork. These are things I love, so! The episode opens with Rocky trying to hit on his science partner, Jennifer. She is so not interested, it's actually pretty ridiculous. He falls off his chair at one point. She keeps babbling about the project and he's all "So, this dance?" and she ignores him. Their science project was apparently to create a videogame, which is pretty awesome, except the things they're saying makes no sense. Even with Jennifer being completely anal about the project, she still allows Rocky to keep the password.

Rocky and Adam go and talk about Rocky's interest in Jennifer, which Rocky is denying. Adam is pretty clearly going "Dude, I'm dating Tanya. So you should probably also find a girl." However, King Mondo wants the password for some reason, so he sends down Cogs to fight them, and they MORPH. What is with the lack of unmorphed fights? I miss it! :( Anyway, the Cogs steal the password.

Up in the Power Chamber, Billy is working on something awesome. He wishes that they'd had it when he was a Ranger, and Alpha mocks him. It's pretty awesome. The Cog that stole the password (which is MOOK. Hilarious, but also the worst password ever) uses it to turn some junk into a robot.

Just in case you were wondering, Bulk and Skull were supposed to be guarding the junkyard. This... ends pretty much how you would expect.

Rocky and Adam let everyone know that they've been robbed, and they go find the monster, which grows. There is a ridiculously long Zord fight, which ends with the robot trying to throw them into the sun. Billy calls with a solution - apparently the Zords all have special helmets, some of which have better powers than others. They use the new powers to escape from the sun's gravity. Then they destroy the monster.

Later, Rocky's lab partner is freaking out because their data has been lost. Rocky is all "My bad" and she is understandably PISSED. He produces the disc (it's a floppy disc. SO OLD) and all is well. He tries to ask her out again, and she is STILL PISSED as she SHOULD BE because he screwed up their project. (It wasn't really his fault, but um, I'm guessing she did all the work.) ILU Rocky, but you're being THAT GUY. He tries to convince her to go out with him again, and this time she's all "well, maybe later."

Fish: 4. For the ridiculous fight scene and the password thing.

Episode 142- Master Vile and the Metallic Armour Part 3

Oh show. The opening once Kat joins has always SEEMED very Kat heavy, but I wasn't sure if it was just a bias or if it really was skewed THAT far in her favour. So today I checked. Breaking it down shot by shot we have:
1 shot each- Zedd, Goldar, zords, Bulk and Skull, and Toy (now with pasted on fire, yay!)
2 shots- Rocky (the only two being his morphing shot and his name/character title shot) and the logo
3 shots each- Rita, Rito (with Tengas), Billy, Aisha, and Adam (counting their morhping and title shots)
5 shots- morphed team (two of which are shark cycle shots, so not the whole team), Tommy (two with Kat and counting his morphing and title shots)
and coming in at a whopping 8 UNMORPHED shots- Kat. Yes, that's EIGHT shots for her, and I'm NOT including the two shots she has with Tommy. So, if we add those two shots into her grand total (as I did with Tommy), she comes in at a whole TEN shots of the opening sequence. Ten. And people wonder where we get the idea that this season had a weeeee bit of a Kat bias?

Anyway, onto the episode.

This really didn't need to be a three parter. No, it really really didn't. This so could have been resolved last episode. So. We start out with the rangers in the Command Center being all weak and power-drained. Poor Rocky is almost falling over from lack of energy. Zordon pulls out his Magic Power Restoration Fish and zaps them all so they regain their energy.

At the Youth Center, there is much dancing! And monsters showing up for the party! And the Vulva Monster arrives in a limo! Bulk and Skull are dancing, as are a few other humans. There's a guy at a dj table and kids are taking orders and serving food. Either this is a whooolllleeee lot of "under a spell" or Angel Grove residents are just really desensitized to monsters by this point. We vote for the latter. Master Vile throws the BEST parties ever.

Back at the Command Center, the rangers need to wait for their sparklepowers metallic armour to recharge. Billy thinks he can hurry it along, but he needs Adam and Aisha's help. The others demorph and go to the Youth Center to keep an eye on the party. Bulk and Skull are surprised to see them, assuming they'd been lost the whole time. But they're not worried. They are SURE the Rangers will come back and save them. Because they have faith in the Power Rangers and are just awesome like that. Goldar interrupts and once again wonders why he bothers since Tommy isn't Jason and really makes a poor substitute. Mostly he just talks about how they own the Earth now and the Rangers can't save the humans, though. Frankly, they've barely taken Angel Grove. The only way taking ONE city would constitute ruling the whole world is if we're talking RPM and that one city is Corinth. But then, Venjix had killed all the other billions of people on Earth before trying to take Corinth, so that one city really WAS all of Earth at that point. ANYWAY! I digress.

They make their way back to the Command Center where Zordon tells them they need to go to another planet in another galaxy to get the zords back. The atmosphere is highly corrosive to metal so they can't use their metallic armour there, but are determined to try. They find some heavily corroded zords and Billy says they need to find the podiatal emergency egress. He clarifies it's the Big Toe Emergency Exit and starts blasting away at the corroded and unstable zord. He finds the door and Rocky charges in first. They climb a ladder and manage to fire some lasers which destroy a building... a building that appears to be in Angel Grove and NOT on the deserted distant planet in another galaxy they happen to be on. Uh... what? The fish are working their powers here and confuse the heck out of me. It... really doesn't work that way.

Moving on! So they find the engine room and the Zeo Crystal and manage to break Master Vile's connection to the crystal by clutching their stomachs and grunting a lot. The Rangers go to Earth and Master Vile sends his goo monster thing to beat them. The zords (all clean and corrosion free now! darn those fish and their effective cleaning procedures!) show up and they fight for awhile, even though the goo monster is still tied into Ninjors powers. Alpha waits until they are close to losing and then pushes a few buttons to break Master Vile's spell of darkness, which breaks his hold on Ninjor and weakens the monster enough to be destroyed. Alpha apparently has a flair for the dramatic. So they win and drive Master Vile away.

But he's determined to beat them eventually and then yells at Rita a lot. MAJOR family issues there. Wow.

In order to keep the Zeo crystals from falling into the wrong hands again, the rangers break the crystal into five pieces and scatter them. Zordon has built a TARDIS created a temporary hole in time and space.

With things all settled down, the rangers are back with Lt. Stone and Bulk and Skull on their horseback riding outing. They gallop off and Kat looks semi-comfortable (though she's sitting English style in a Western saddle which CAN'T be comfortable) and Skull still looks like the only experienced horseman in the bunch.

Fish: 4.5 The fish were the only thing that DID make sense in this episode
Billy speak: "We have to find the podiatal emergency egress."
"It seems the layer of corrosion is much thicker than I anticipated."

Episode 140- Master Vile and the Metallic Armour Part 1

It's Master Vile! I love Master Vile.

So we start this episode off with Civilian Rangers plus Bulk, Skull, and Lt. Stone on horses. They're riding through what looks like the park, western style. Most of them seem comfortable enough, and Kat even suggests galloping through the meadow. Skull complains about being on horseback, but for all his griping, he knows how to ride! He's got the best seat I've seen in quite some time, certainly the best seat of all the actors in this scene!

There is some generic discussion of nature and fun, but mostly we just pay attention to Adam and Billy's arms, and get irritated that Rocky is in long sleeves. Because apparently we can get half-naked Adam OR Rocky, but not both.

Anyway, it suddenly gets very dark and the ground starts shaking. Everybody dismounts and the rangers find a Very Large Tree to stand in front of. They can't get in touch with Zordon and so, it being dark, and their audience being Bulk and Skull, decide to teleport to the Command Center anyway. Alpha is powered down and Zordon is nowhere to be found. The Command Center appears to be out of power.

Oddly enough, on the moon, the same thing is happening. Rita wonders if Finster has forgotten to pay the electric bill again. In comes a mysterious figure. Zedd wonders who has come into his palace unannounced, and Rita goes all goey. Because she knows who it is. It's Master Vile! Her father! Zeddy, meet the in-laws.

Back on Earth, the Command Center and Alpha manage to reboot. Zordon comes back and tells them all about what's going on. He mentions Master Vile is Rita's father and Rocky is all amazed that Rita has a father. Oh, Rocky, Honey. You're not a stupid young man. Of course Rita has a father. Does Adam need to explain reproductive biology to you again?

Anyway, Zordon tells them about new metallic armour they will get. He also tells them about the Zeo crystal (ooo foreshadowing) and how it's protected by a force field that will only let the most innocent of pure hearts through. It's being held in caves on the moon directly beneath Rita's palace. Which is on the moon. On top of the caves. That are on the moon.

Back on Earth, Bulk and Skull are wondering where the Civilian Rangers are, and Lt. Stone tries to get them to see what's going on. He says that darkness can only mean one thing, and Skull says daylight savings time much be over. Lt. Stone is smart, however, and knows it means a monster attack is soon to follow! He needs volunteers to ride for help and the horses push Bulk and Skull forward. Aw, horses.

Back on the moon, Zedd is not so much trying to impress Master Vile, Father-In-Law, as he is trying to one-up him. Oh Zedd, baby, no. That's... not how it's done. Vile doesn't believe that Zedd captured Ninjor and so Rito brings the jar over, only he trips on something he can't see due to all the fog all over the place, and drops the jar. It shatters and Ninjor is free! They try to catch him but he escapes and goes right to the Command Center. Vile says he's going to take Rito and Monkey Boy to carry out his evil plan.

The Rangers don't seem too terribly happy to see Ninjor is finally free, but then, he was held captive on the moon for how many weeks now? And never once did they even attempt to come up with a rescue plan. So I don't think they were too concerned about it in the first place.

Tengas attack Bulk and Skull and so the rangers morph and go fight. Bulk and Skull get away but the rangers are overtaken by the Tengas. They can't fight them off this time. They call Ninjor and he goes to help them, and he grows, and then he gets his ass kicked. And he gets captured AGAIN.

But that's okay. The rangers get their new metallic armour. It looks nothing like metal. In fact, it looks like somebody threw glitter on their existing spandex. They SPARKLE. I shall from now on call them all Edward. They finally beat back the Tengas.

Back in the Command Center, Tommy is sure they need the Falcon Zord to win. We aren't sure why. They realize they need the Zeo crystal and figure Tommy is the purest good one and he should go. We do a double take. Because really? Tommy? He's the most likely to BE EVIL, and you're sending him???? Oh show. Kat decides she's going to distract Rita and Zedd by pretending to be evil again. Okay, I'll buy it.

Billy comes up with a plan to form their MegaZord even without the Falcon Zord. He's going to sell more toys by using it in place of the actual zord! Somehow the toy is tied into the zords and the Command Center and tricks them into thinking the Falcon Zord is there? Again, not sure why the Falcon Zord is the only solution here.

We learn a bit more of Master Vile's plan, what with him barfing up a big green egg full of blue goo that ten turns into a Goo Monster. Frankly, I think Ivan Ooze did it better. Vile has used the Goo Monster to drain Ninjors powers. And instead of THAT being our cliffhanger, we get more Kat-will-pretend-to-be-evil angst. Because apparently that's a better cliffhanger than Vile slowly draining away all of Ninjor's powers.

4 fish. It was... not a bad episode, just didn't make a lot of sense on it's own.

Episode 138- Another Brick In The Wall

Today is apparently the start of Kat being a Very Special Snowflake on the Ranger team. I don't dislike Kat, but this episode starts to show why I never actively sought out her episodes after the first run on tv. It's the first in the migration from team-oriented episodes, or at least attempting to showcase the others in a ranger-specific episode.

We start with Adam and Tommy sparring. Kat comes up with a model home in her hands. It's apparently a model for a restoration project she's taking part in and she designed it herself. It's a very small, modest house, with a HUGE three to four car garage (seriously, two equal sized garage doors and the garage itself is the same size as the entire house). We theorize this project creates houses for people who have been displaced by monster attacks.

Rita is disgusted at how goody-goody Kat has become. Goldar makes some snide comments and Rita defends Rito, saying what a big help he's been and how he's done more for her than Goldar and Zedd combined. Aw, Rita loves her brother! That's sweet.

Back on Earth, Kat has taken lessons from Aisha in How To Run Things. She is wearing a pink hard hat (in the Youth Center) and ordered about thirty people around. Apparently there is nobody to paint, however, and I have to wonder... what is wrong that not one of these thirty people can pick up a paintbrush or roller? Really? That's a lot of people for just landscaping. I won't complain too much. We get some nice shots of Adam and Billy's arms, though the episode is sadly lacking in flexing Rocky.

Anyway, everybody gets to work on this big brick wall and gardening and the place looks great. Kat is going to stay behind to take pictures, but meet up with everybody later. She's not worried about things because she has Bulk and Skull (covered in soap and goodness knows what else, and currently knocked unconscious under a tree, which nobody seems concerned either) to protect her, and I bristle. Don't tease the poor boys. It's cruel.

As soon as everybody leaves, Tengas and Rito show up. They wake up Bulk and Skull and chase them away while destroying as much of the work as possible. Kat fights for awhile but then remembers she has a communicator and calls Zordon. He sends the others in and they fight for a bit. I love the Ninja powers, but I really miss the unmorphed fights. Rito and the Tengas go away as Rita calls down a new monster. She takes a section of the brick wall and turns it into the monster, just another brick in the wall.

They morph and fight, but the brick monster turns first Aisha and Adam, and then Tommy and Rocky into bricks. Kat and Billy are the last ones standing. We can only assume Rocky is not the last one standing because the rangers were not turned into balls this time, unlike... well... all the other times. Kat and Billy collect the bricks and teleport to the Command Center while the monster runs around eating building supplies.

Zordon discovers the rangers are not actually bricks, but rather have been shrunken and encased in bricks. Billy suggests they erode the bricks away to release their teammates and Kat, having learned about erosion in architecture class (not science? In like, second grade? Really?), agrees to help. But alas, the monster is terrorizing Angel Grove and so Billy goes to fight it, leaving Kat to do all the science-y stuff.

Now here's my thing. Billy is the science-guy. Billy is the genius. Billy is the chemist. Shouldn't Billy have been the one to stay and free the others? But no. KAT gets to do it because KAT is super special and knows all about erosion and Kat had a random moment of guilt so she has to absolve herself of... I'm not sure what. She and Alpha manage to use pollution to erode the bricks (OMG they're all going to die of cancer now... what, wouldn't WATER have worked???) and release the other rangers.

But wait! She's too late. Because Billy is a BADASS and manages to defeat the monster ALL ON HIS OWN. He is now on fighting-level-AWESOME with Kim. Go Billy! And... all the others thank Kat profusely and only remember to say "Hey, good job, Buddy" when Kat talks up Billy's awesomeness.

Back at the restoration sight, everybody is standing around waiting on the mayor. Lt. Stone comes up wondering what's taking so long, having sent Bulk and Skull to find out who stole all the building materials (because he didn't believe a monster took them... what, is he new to Angel Grove or something?). Just then, Bulk and Skull come up having restrained a woman in a nice suit carrying a golden shovel. They insist she's the thief even though she says she's the mayor, and Lt. Stone turns about four shades of red in anger because, uh, she actually is the mayor. They release her and apologize while she tells Kat what a great job she did. Kat is handed the useless golden shovel.

And that was a short episode clocking in at only 19 minutes. Wow.

4 fish. The pollution thing? Just flat out ridiculous. And dangerous.

Episode 135 - A Different Shade of Pink Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Kat proves that she is wicked awesome by breaking the spell placed on her by Rita, and Kimberly falls off a balance beam.

We begin in an episode of ER - Kat called an ambulance, which rushed Kim to the hospital. Kat explains to the doctors that Kimberly fell off the beam and hit her head. If you watch the episode, it is clear that no, Kimberly did not in fact hit her head, but we guess for dramatic purposes she needs to have a head injury.

And then she wakes up and has amnesia and thinks she's dating Billy. Who wants to write me that fic?

Anyway, Kat feels guilty that Kimberly is hurt even though a) it is not her fault and b) she was under a spell, which she broke on her own, proving that she is way more awesome than Tommy because she didn't need someone to break a sword to remove the spell. Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd discuss the situation, and agree that Kat's act of supreme goodness has broken the spell permanently.

Back at the hospital, Tommy is on a payphone to Kim's mother in France and we discover that Kim's mother can't get a flight to the states. Billy and Tommy also have a discussion where they finally start to get suspicious of Kat, as they are not sure why she was at the Youth Center so late at night, but they are glad she was.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull & Lieutenant Stone are spying on Kim's coach, as they are convinced he is a spy. Then they get pushed down a laundry chute. Whatever. Kim's coach expresses concern for Kim. Aww.

Adam/Rocky/Aisha are off on a date in the park when Billy calls to let them know that Kim has woken up and the doctor says that she'll be just fine. We don't know why they weren't at the hospital to wait for their friend, but we can only assume they were busy comforting each other. Rito shows up to attack them, and they are very annoyed at being interrupted. It's Ninja Ranger time!

... Ok, we clearly entered the Twilight Zone or something, because Tommy is being really sweet. He brought Kim a bear! He expressed concern! We are not yelling at him to shut up! What madness is this? Why am I suddenly thinking Tommy is being good for Kimberly? My worldview is shattered. SHATTERED. Zordon calls and interrupts the moment and expresses his concern for Kim, who is sorry for worrying him. Zordon was actually paying attention for once, and the SCT are being overwhelmed. Billy and Tommy morph in the hospital room and then teleport straight out of there. Secret identities they are doing it wrong.

Kat comes into Kim's room and confesses everything while the other Rangers are fighting. She is all concerned that they will hate her forever for what she did while under the spell. In further proof that we've entered the twilight zone, two amazing things happen - continuity and characterization. Kimberly (and then the other Rangers) tell Kat about how Tommy began a Ranger, and how strong Rita's magic is, and that they could never hate her for what she did. It is actually really touching, and someone should write me Kim/Kat fic. Kim also says that she is not going to try out for the competition anymore, she's done with gymnastics. Everyone is confused by this, even though it is obvious that Kim is just terrified after falling. Characterization, you are doing it... quite well! Good job, show!

Rita and Zedd are now officially annoyed, so they send down some garbage monster to kidnap Kat. The monster gets them when they're all leaving the hospital, and the Rangers morph and the monster just stands there with Kat until she escapes. Then they call the Shogun Zords, which at one point get trapped in a garbage can, but they immediately break out. It's pretty dull. Except they have a flaming sword! I approve of that.

Rita confronts Billy/Kat/Tommy at the lake and tell them that if they don't turn Kat over to her, then they will destroy Ninjor forever. He is still trapped in a bottle, even though he has managed to get out of bottles before.

Why Rita doesn't just kidnap Kat while she sleeps we... really don't know.

To be continued!

Fish: 1 Any fish we had were counteracted by the characterization and continuity of awesome in this episode.

133 - Follow That Cab!

Today, on Power Rangers - we celebrate Shark Week by getting shark cycles. Or, you know, Shark Week happens to fall on the same week that we get to the shark cycles. Whichever.

The episode opens at the Juice Bar, where we discover that Kimberly seems to think that taking cats to restaurants is totally acceptable behavior. Frankly, she is wrong about this. Tommy shows up, just as Kim lets out a shriek, and Tommy comments that he's glad to know that he has that effect on her.

Tommy is glad he can make Kim scream. Kid's show. Riiiiiiight.

It turns out that he has nothing to do with it - famous gymnastics coach Gunther Schmidt is coming into town to look for talented gymnasts to participate in his Pan Globals team. Hmm. I wonder how this will end? Tommy encourages Kim to go meet the coach since she idolizes him. (He is clearly supposed to be Bela Karolyi, just saying.) She decides to go, and asks Ernie to watch the cat.

... WORST PET OWNER EVER. However, she has enough sense not to ask Tommy to watch the cat. Of course, as PC is secretly Kat, she quickly runs off to report what Kim is up to to Rita. Rita and Zedd are planning to trap a Ranger inside a monster so that the other Rangers won't want to destroy it. This is actually a fairly cunning plan! Probably because Rito thought of it. His plans are usually good. The only other thing of importance in this scene is that when Rita calls Kat an evil girl, Kat flashes back to how awesome and good she was and manages to temporarily break the spell. She is pretty awesome.

Anyway, since there is apparently sometimes crime in Angel Grove, Bulk and Skull fail to recognize the most obvious car thief ever and actually help him steal Kim's car. Kim then demands they go after the guy, so they commandeer a cab, which is promptly turned into a monster.

Alpha summons the Rangers, after commenting that he hopes they aren't off scuba diving, and I nearly fall off my chair laughing. Oh, show. At least you remember these ridiculous things!

The Rangers need to chase after the cab, and they get shark cycles. Because they... need to sell more toys? The slowest chase scene ever happens, and then Zords are summoned. The show attempted to provide some drama by claiming that the process of removing Kimberly, Bulk and Skull from the monster could result in Kimberbulk, but we know that wouldn't happen - the show clearly doesn't have the budget for it. So they get rescued, the monster is destroyed, and this is really boring.

What I didn't mention in the preceding paragraph is that the monster is the Crabby Cabby, and he speaks in one of the worst fake Brooklyn accents I've ever heard. And I'm from New York. We are just going to pretend that it never happened.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull have managed to locate Kimberly's car, and she hugs Bulk but not Skull. Poor Skull. :( Kimberly then decides she will try to meet her idol at the tryouts. The episode ends with her saying how much easier it would be to be a cat. I don't even know what to say about that.

Fish: 3. It was just... really mediocre.

Episode 131 - Changing of the Zords Part 2

Previously - Kat has stolen Kim's power coin, and if she doesn't get it back, it might kill her. This is what we call epic.

We open with Kim still unconscious, and Billy apparently managed to finish med school, because he's busy giving a medical diagnosis. We know Billy is a genius and all, but really? It makes you wonder how they explain whatever bruises and things they get from fighting monster. (I tend to be on the healing factor side of the debate, but it's worth thinking about.)

Tommy is all worried and confused, and making it all about him and how he can't lose her, and how he knows what it was like to lose his powers, and seriously, Tommy, not about you. Adam is being practical and wondering what they're going to do without their Zords and Ninjor being gone, etc. Nobody has any answers, and Kimberly just continues to lay (asleep, although I'm going more with 'coma') on the table, with glowing pink lines racing over her skin.

Up on the moon, Zedd is indulging in an evil cackle about how awesome he is. Then he realizes he needs pilots for his new Zords, and apparently he thinks the Rangers should work for him. Umm... ok? We're not really sure where this came from, but we guess we'll go along with it. He decides to send down a monster named Fangenstein (cue all the really bad dental puns now) to distract the Rangers.

At the Youth Center, Tommy is hitting things, and Adam and Rocky look on worriedly. Kat shows up, claiming she's supposed to be having lunch with Kimberly, and then trying to convince Tommy to go with her instead. Tommy is busy being emo (or he knows that having lunch with another girl who is CLEARLY crushing on him while his girlfriend is in a coma is totally inappropriate) so he says no. Then communicators go off just as Aisha and Billy walk into the youth center (they were making out?) and they go off to fight the monster.

Kimberly wakes up (we're not sure how) just as Zordon discovers that Kat is being attacked by Tengas. The other Rangers are having a hard time with the tooth monster, so they can't be spared to go save her, and Kim is not just going to sit there and watch one of her friends get hurt. Because she is that awesome. Besides, Tommy didn't listen to Zordon's warnings about power loss, and neither will Kim! She goes and fights the Tengas, but unfortunately passes out and faints. :( Then Zedd pulls out his monster, since it is no longer needed.

Bulk and Skull are getting yelled at about how they tried to rescue a bunch of kids, which somehow then ends up with them being yelled at for always running into monsters. They are clearly monster magnets, but Lieutenant Stone doesn't quite believe them, so he decides to shadow them for 24 hours to see if anything happens.

Back at the Command Center, everyone is freaking out about Kim, when Zedd calls up on the viewing globe and demands to be teleported into the Command Center. As they do that our chat starts to descend into all caps with frequent exclamations of "DAMN!" and "HOLY SHIT" and "I LOVE ZEDD SO MUCH" and "EPIC!" Because that is how we roll. And seriously, it is an AWESOME scene. Zedd tries to make small talk, and Alpha hides from him and calls him Ed, and Zedd delivers the ultimatum - he is draining Kim's lifeforce (power, whatever, we know what he's really saying) and if they don't work for him, they get to watch her die. The episode ends with him saying time is up, and asking for their decision.

THAT is what we call an awesome cliffhanger.

Fish: 2. Not very much yelling this episode except about how awesome Zedd is.

Episode 128- A Ranger Catastrophe Part 1

Last time on Power Rangers was the BESTEST EPISODE EVER OMGYAY! And so this time we get... incredibly boring.

We start out by learning that Aisha volunteers at the local animal shelter. She loves the animals and loves helping out, and the shelter is understaffed and underfunded anyway, so they love having the help. I like this aspect of Aisha. Very noble.

Later, as she's walking in the park with Kim, they discuss the love of animals. Kim stumbles upon a stray cat just kind of milling about the park. A very white, very CLEAN, stray cat. I don't know why this didn't clue them in that it wasn't, in fact, a runaway kitty. But we'll just move on for plot purposes, yes?

Aisha carries it around for awhile, including through the Youth Center and to the outdoor cafe of the Juice Bar, and I cry foul! One does not bring a pet into a restaurant! Service animals, yes, of course. But not a pet. Health and safety, you see. Bulk and Skull, as junior police patrolmen, agree and attempt to find the correct codes to make Aisha leave. They don't, but they're adorable at trying to enforce the rules. Aisha and Kim take the cat to the shelter and Aisha gets all excited because if the cat isn't claimed within a certain timeframe, she has permission to adopt it herself. She really wants this cat.

There is a problem with this, though. This cat was planted by Rita. She calls all her dimwits, to which Rito responds enthusiastically, and then explains her dastardly plan. It's no ordinary cat, you see. It's an EVOL Cat born in the pits ruled by Basement Cat.

Rito is sent down to scare away potential pet adopters from the animal shelter, and Bulk and Skull manage to catch him in the act. They bravely attempt to arrest him, hoping to make themselves famous, but he is big and mean and threatening and they back away rather quickly in fear.

Meanwhile, not-really-a-cat is being pampered in the shelter by Aisha. She spies Rito, however, and has to run outside to be all badass and take him on herself. Because she's awesome like that. Zordon, in a rare moment of attentiveness, notices and calls the others to help. They rush to aide Aisha, even though she didn't really need help, and a very boring fight ensues. The not-really-a-cat turns into Human!Kat to observe the fight and is caught by the vet in charge of the animal shelter. Thinking quickly, Kat convinces the lady that she's there to adopt a puppy to help her be not lonely in a new town, seeing as she's all Australian and far from her friends.

When the fight is over, Rocky runs off in search of an overly large sandwich, with Adam and Billy hot on his tail. And I mean that in just about every possible way.

Aisha, Kim, and Tommy head into the animal shelter and Human!Kat quickly vanishes to turn back into not-really-a-cat. Time is up and Aisha gets to take not-really-a-cat home. She's so excited! We're so bored.

Aisha names the cat PC, for Park Cat, since they found it in a park. Really? That's the best you could do, Aisha? That's... the lamest name ever. I can deal with PC, that's fine. I had a turtle named PC (but it was short for an actual name!). But at least make it stand for something legitimate or meaningful! Anyway, Kim comes home and leaves the door open, and not-really-a-cat-now-with-a-bad-name! runs out the door and down to open windows, where she promptly leaves the house and transforms into Human!Kat. Aisha and Kim search desperately for the lost not-really-a-cat-now-with-a-bad-name.

Human!Kat is met by Rita, who tells her to go steal Tommy from Kim. Rita transforms a dumpster into a hot car (with a cool, but not the coolest ever, vanity plate that says PURRRFECT) and sends Kat down to the Youth Center. Tommy is milling about, waiting for Kim, when Ernie realizes he failed to deliver the message that Kim would be late. Tommy is interrupted by Kat. She claims car trouble and gets Tommy outside, where he does something under the hood that leaves him and his sparkly white clothing completely clean, and then oohs and aahs over the car. Kat offers to let him drive "just around the block" and he accepts, even though he's supposed to meet Kim. He really falls so easily for the damsel in distress act. They go for a drive, but Rita zaps them into some vortex/alternate dimension thing, and Kat acts frightened and clingy, for which Tommy also falls. Oh Tommy. Could you BE any easier?

Zordon, in yet another glaring moment of attentiveness, notices that Tommy has been kidnapped, finds him, and then contacts the other rangers. Kim is jealous of the girl he's with (can't really blame her!), they wonder at how they'll get him back, discover that Rito is on Earth again, and then we cut to the To Be Continued screen.

That's not much of a cliffhanger.

And all I learned from this episode is that Steve Cardenas really really needs to stop overacting.

1.5 fish. It wasn't really fishy. Just very boring.

Episode 127 - The Potion Notion

After the fail that was the last episode, we make up for it with the rarest of creatures, the ONE FISH episode. You guys, this episode was adorable and we love it and SO AWESOME. Whenever we need to be happy, this is going to be one of the episodes we watch.

(In case you were ever wondering about the difference between me and - she rewrites the recaps so that all the caps are removed, while I just go CAPS YAY!)

So, the episode begins with Bulk and Skull trying to butter up Tommy and Kim by saying how adorable they are. Turns out that they are trying to sell tickets for the Junior Policeman Ball. Tommy and Kim think this is a great idea, and Tommy buys tickets. Awww. Basically, Bulk and Skull are adorable, and Tommy and Kim are being really cute together. And you know my opinions on Tommy/Kim.

Up on the moon, it appears that being really cute is the theme of the episode, as Rita and Zedd are preparing for their second honeymoon. Goldar is acting like he's going to be sick, but we think that they're cute! Zedd tells Goldar that he's in charge and that Finster's monster had better be ready by the time they get back. When Rito goes to check on it, he finds out that Rita put a love spell on Zedd, and he sends the Cupid Monster thing down to Earth to spread looooooooove. And, you know, cause chaos.

Kim is the first victim of our invisible cupid monster, as she immediately falls in love with Skull. She plays lovestruck REALLY well. We feel really bad for Skull, because this is not the first time this has happened, but it is so adorable. Especially the look on Tommy and Bulk's face as Kim starts talking about how wonderful Skull is. *SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS*

The next victim is Lieutenant Stone, who falls for Ms. Applebee. Hey, it's another pairing I can TOTALLY get behind. ADORABLE.

Bulk is mocking Skull for what Kimberly was saying, when he gets hit with the spell, and falls for Aisha, who immediately thinks something is up. The Rangers all gather in the park, and Aisha asks if they noticed anything weird, and Tommy points to Kim. Billy wonders if it's a spell. GEE, YOU THINK?

The Tengas and Goldar show up, and there's a fight, and Kim is all "MUST PROTECT SKULL" and then they head back up to the Command Center, where Kimberly ponders different variations of her name with Skulls, and has a whispered conversation with Aisha that may or may not be about how she hooked up with Skull in the janitor's closet.

On Serpenterra, apparently Rito failed to charge the batteries, so Rita and Zedd are heading home. Goldar finds out that Rita had placed Zedd under a spell. Uh oh. Finster has to go around cancelling the love spell on everyone on Earth (including on Principal Caplan, who was also hitting on Ms Applebee.)

Poor Skull is sad when Kim runs back to Tommy. :( Aww, Skull. Don't worry, you'll find someone eventually!

Up on the moon, Rita accidentally gets hit with the love spell, and she falls for Goldar, who is freaked out. Finster quickly cancels it, and then Goldar tells Zedd that Rita had put him under the spell and Finster cancels it. but Zedd STILL LOVES RITA and makes Goldar apologize. ADORABLE.

Later, at the police dance, the BOYS ARE WEARING SUITS. SUITS. You may have noticed how we feel about this, but it is something AWESOME. AND THEN. Kim feels horrible about what she did to Skull so she goes to dance with him and tells him that they're friends, and it is the CUTEST THING EVER.

Aisha and Billy go off to dance, Ms. Applebee dances with Lt. Stone, and Rocky hits on some random girl, and then Adam and Tommy make out in a corner. I may have made that last part up. OR DID I?

Fish: ONE. CUTEST EPISODE EVER!!!!

Fic we want: SKULL/KIM. Also, Adam and Rocky being under the spell and not noticing.

Episode 123 - Fourth Down and Long

Today on Power Rangers, it's a Very Special Episode about dyslexia! And football. And about how whenever there's a Rocky centric episode the other Rangers get turned into things.

Honestly, before this episode I would have sworn that I'd seen every episode of MMPR, but I didn't remember this one at all!

We are back in Mr. Wilton's class, where Billy begins the necessary exposition. We find out that apparently Rocky's uncle is a really famous quarterback and he's coming to speak to the football team or something. For some reason, they are just chatting in the middle of class, and the teacher waits until they're done with the conversation before reminding them it's time to put on their safety goggles and start mixing chemicals.

Rocky asks his partner, Alan, (he's partnered with a non-Ranger! Gasp!) to read the formula. His partner reads the formula, Rocky combines the chemicals, and the stuff emits a gas, forcing class to be evacuated, and Mr. Wilton to threaten to kick the partner off the football team. Oh noes!

On the moon, Rita makes fun of their chemistry skills, and Zedd proves he has no athletic talents at all. Finster's centipede monster mold accidentally gets combined with a football, and we get our monster of the week.

Back in Angel Grove, we find out that Bulk and Skull don't appear to go to class anymore, because they're always busy with police things. This time they're guarding Rocky's uncle. Billy reads over the notes, and says that the Alan must have reversed the formula. Rocky offers to tutor Alan, and they have a conversation about how smart Alan is, but how he has trouble reading. After the tutoring session, they realize they missed Uncle Joe, so they go to find him, only to discover that the monster has shown up, and already turned Bulk and Skull into footballs. Alan and Joe soon follow, and Rocky has the best shocked expression on his face. His acting skills have improved a lot, he really sells that anger.

Rocky calls Zordon, who calls the other Rangers, but the other Rangers manage to get themselves turned into footballs. Rocky teleports back to the Command Center and successfully figures out a way to reverse the spell, proving for once and for all, that he is smart. End of discussion. He's also the only one who figures out that maybe you should DODGE THE FOOTBALL that will turn you into a football. FAIL HARDER, RANGERS.

The football fight would have been way more entertaining if there had been football putties instead of tengas. Just for the record.

Anyway, Ninjor shows up to help, and Zordon warns them that there's going to be a snowstorm even though there is NO SNOW in Angel Grove and they go down and reverse the spell and rescue everyone. The monster grows, they punch it, everyone goes home happy. For the record, the snow looks completely ridiculous, like the screen was just all static-y. It gets better once they have the actual Zord fight, but argh.

Later, all the Rangers are having a bad hair day (side effect of being turned into footballs) and Uncle Joe tells them that Alan isn't kicked off the team anymore, because he's fixed everything! It turns out that Uncle Joe also has dyslexia, and he recognized it in Alan, so he got him tested, and sometimes teachers don't recognize it but Mr. Wilton totally has strategies to help him now, and the important thing is that he isn't kicked off the team! Cue very special episode cheering.

Bulk and Skull get in trouble for being afraid of footballs (Which is understandable, since they got TURNED INTO THEM) and then Bulk gets covered in fruit salad. Everyone laughs at them. Oh, SHOW. How about a very special episode about why mocking others is wrong, instead?

Fish: 4. How do you NOT DODGE the football? Also, there is no snow in Angel Grove.

Billy speak: "Judging from the explosion that occurred, and the formula you have written here, I'd say you reversed the elements."
"Yeah, you read them backwards. That's what caused such an adverse reaction."

Covered in: Bulk is covered in fruit salad

Episode 120- A Brush with Destiny

Today on Power Rangers- Kim is awesome. Yet again.

We start with our new opening and a very pretty cast. We discuss just how pretty they are. I say they're the second prettiest cast. TSB says the prettiest. It's a rousing debate.

But, uh, in actual plot... well... there really isn't one. There is an art benefit show for the Junior Police Patrol and it's taking place in the Youth Center. Kim's New Daddy is there and he's apparently a French painter. Who is... painting in Angel Grove? Really? You have FRANCE to paint, and you decide to go to Angel Grove? My only explanation is that he's not a very good painter. At this art benefit show, Bulk and Skull are placed in charge of guarding the New Daddy's painting. They both fall asleep instead and the painting goes missing. Upon waking up, they assume it's been stolen, and begin to interrogate the general population.

So Kim is all nervous about having to move to France. She talks to Aisha on the phone (corded phones, in the bedroom and living room respectively, connected to landlines. Oh we are so old) and feels a little better, but ends up having horrible nightmares anyway.

So she meets up with her friends at the park the next day. She's exhausted and Adam suggests talking to Zordon about her concerns. Billy is sure Zordon already knows and I cringe. Really, Billy? Zordon already knows? Zordon never pays attention! Unless the fish demand it for plot purposes, of course. They get attacked by Tengas before any further planning can be done. Somehow, during this Tenga fight, Angel Grove Park has magically grown a cave and a rock outcropping, since half the footage has them fighting in mountains, and the other half has them fighting in the lush greenery of the park. Rito and Goldar show up, gets the Tengas to grab Kim and essentially hold her against a tree, and Rito slaps her hand which makes her lose her communicator. They use a new device Finster created and presented to Rita as a gift, and steal the monster from Kim's dream.

Later at school (what, does their school day start at 3pm or something?), people have lots and lots of time to just mill about in the hallways. The rangers get called by Zordon and go to the Command Center, leaving Kim behind. Everyone is unaware she does not have her communicator. They morph and go fight. Tommy lunges at the Painter Mole Monster and goes right through him, despite Billy's pleading to work as a team. Really, Tommy, didn't you learn that lesson already? Five or six times? Anyway, they can't win on their own and Kim is still nowhere to be found, so they call on Ninjor. He comes riding in on a cloud crying out "You have nothing to fear, Ninjor is here!" and he is now incredibly awesome and I love him so.

So even with Ninjor they can't beat this paint guy and he zaps them with his brush, draining them of their colour, or rather, turning them to grey scale. This somehow has sapped them of their power as well, though they all remain morphed.

At school, Kim can't find anybody and realizes her communicator is missing. She retraces her steps and finally finds it in the park when it beeps ever so conveniently while she's standing there. She goes to the Command Center and assures Zordon the monster is from her dream. She's not afraid of it and Zordon goes off on a tangent of Plot Convenience where he tells her not to worry about moving to France, that her mother only has her best interest at heart *cough*bullshit*cough*. Kim feels reassured and goes to fight.

Once again, she is awesome, and beats the monster on her own which gives the others, who stood around doing nothing by the way, their colours back. But, angered at his apparent loss, Zedd makes the monster grow. We spend the entire zord summoning and battle discussing how Rocky's zord doesn't look much like an ape, but it does look vaguely human, and humans are in the ape family, so his zord could really be Cousin to the Ape Zord instead of the Ape Zord. Anyway, they win, of course.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull have found the painting they thought was stolen and discover the painter, New Daddy, had merely taken it in to repair the frame. It's a really bad, really ugly painting. Kim rushes up to tell her mom that she loves her and knows she's looking out for her best interest (which I still call bullshit!), but that she's nervous about moving to Paris and learning a new language and school and whatnot. Kim's mother says it will be okay if they're honest. Then Aisha and her parents walk up and offer to take Kim in while her mother moves to Paris. Aisha's parents take in Kim... while her mother MOVES TO PARIS. WITHOUT HER. Now, that's insanely awesome of Aisha's parents, but Kim's mother just agrees! Right there on the spot! No consideration, no thinking, no discussing it at all! Just "You really want to? Sure, okay!" So she pawns her daughter off on somebody else while she goes gallivanting around a new country HALF A WORLD AWAY from her UNDERAGE daughter.

That's not even taking into consideration Kim's FATHER! He supposedly still lives in Angel Grove. Why doesn't she live with him? Does he not get a say in what COUNTRY his own child lives in? Seriously? Why wasn't he included in this lack-of-discussion?

Kim has horrible parents.

And on that note, 4.5 fish. Just... no.

Episode 119- Ninja Quest Part 4

Previously, on Power Rangers - OMGTHE.... oh, wait. That was THREE EPISODES ago. Previously on Power Rangers - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED. Well, Adam became a frog, but he didn't even sulk about it!

The episode opens with them summoning Zords. This is... not a good sign. High fight episodes never go well. But they summon their Zords, which are apparently coming from a city, even though they should still be in the desert of whatever. And I'm not really sure why the wolf zord appears to live on top of a building - if I lived in Angel Grove, I would totally try to get to the roof and hang out by the Zord. Anyway, the Zords all go and fight Rito, and some of them have fun powers. Wolf Zord does a few flips and hits Rito with his tail, the bear Zord apparently can cause an earthquake (Way to accidentally break the city, Aisha!), Frog Zord spits fire, Ape Zord has some weapons, and so on. Rito is all "haha, that tickles" so they form into the Megazord, and Rito is just glad that he only has 1 target instead of 5. (He's not counting Tommy either.) So then Tommy's Zord joins with them and they fly up, and Rito uses his jet pack, which is pretty awesome. The Megazord kicks Rito in the face, and then they punch him, and he runs away. (The wolf and ape are the arms)

Queenriley: way to double team him Billy and Rocky!
TSB: that sounds so wrong

Up on the moon, Zedd is angry that the Rangers have new Zords, and Goldar is frustrated. We can't really blame him - he just went from Jason to Rito for a boyfriend! The villains calm down and remember that the Vampirus egg is still about to hatch.

Back on Earth, it is time for the Bulk and Skull training montage. Bulk and Skull get an awesome theme song, and we adore them.

At the Command Center, the alarms go off. There is apparently a great disturbance in the force, although they don't know where it is. It's not in Angel Grove, so it must not be on Earth. You guys, we were wrong. Angel Grove isn't its own country, Angel Grove is a PLANET. Then Billy miraculously fixes something, and they realize that the Vampirus egg has hatched and the temple is being attacked.

.... Oh no, it's another Zord fight. But at least Ninjor gets to fight also! Ninjor is awesome! He turns into his own Zord! Anyway, fight, punch, win, really boring. Two Zord fights is one too many. Back at the Command Center, the Rangers watch on the viewing globe as Ninjor tells them they're now allies in the fight against evil. They'll be able to call on his amazing powers of snark at any time!

We end the episode at Bulk and Skull's graduation. The Rangers all go, which is really sweet of them. And they're actually all really happy for Bulk and Skull! Way to be good friends, Rangers! Of course, it wouldn't be the show if Bulk and Skull didn't make fools of themselves, but seriously, so awesome.

Fish: 3.5 There was a lot of stupid stuff in the Zord fights.

Episode 118- Ninja Quest Part 3

Previously on Power Rangers- OMGTHEZORDSBLEWUP. No really, that's still the main thing that looms over everything. For the love of all that is good and wonderful in the world THE FREAKING ZORDS BLEW UP! *cries*

So we pick up with the Rangers having gone through the hologram rock face and we discover they are searching for Tommy in a gorgeous temple with beautiful outdoor gardens. He's apparently run off and is somehow way way far ahead of them. I'm guessing nobody ever told him that if he gets lost, he should stay where he is. Either that or Tommy's just selfish, inconsiderate, and STUPID. Anyway, they finally catch up to him at some gate thing and he's all "Where have you guys been?" and I'm just... really? Can I smack him? YOU DON'T GO WANDERING OFF ON YOUR OWN IN A STRANGE PLACE! Geez, even 4 year old Emo Kid knows that.

So they go through the gate and it closes behind them, trapping them in some open room with an overactive smoke machine and a bunch of candles. A little voice tells them to go away and they ask for Ninjor, but the voice says he doesn't know a Ninjor. Billy looks inside a blue vase and sees a little blue man inside. They insult the little blue man, who in turn calls Billy a "snippity youngster" and seals himself in my heart FOREVER. Oh Ninjor, I love you and your snarky goodness. He calls Kim a rude little girl and they all turn to leave. Tommy makes a speech even cornier than the movie and they decide their goodness will have to be enough. Ninjor overhears and determines they are worthy of mind and spirit and should receive the Ninja powers.

Back in Angel Grove, Bulk and Skull are filling out a huge stack of paperwork at the Junior Police Patrol Headquarters. Lt. Stone approaches them and takes them off to the barber to receive haircuts. Okay, readers, I'm sure this makes me a very shallow person, but I could CRY at this scene. I love hair. Like, a lot. Like, if you were privy to the actual IM conversations TSB and I actually have during these recaps, you'd wonder why I'm so obsessed with the hair. I love long hair. Anything I can run my fingers through or play with (like Rocky's adorably floppy locks!). So watching them SHAVE off Bulk's impressively silky ponytail? It hurts, dear readers. And Skull's thick black tresses? Oh god. I don't do buzz cuts. I don't even give Emo Kid a buzz cut, EVER, because I hate them so much. And Bulk and Skull had really really nice hair, but Bulk in particular. I ADORED his long long hair. So soft! So silky! So well taken care of and just touchable! And so very very gone. *sobs*

And... now that I've scared away half our readership, um... let's get back to the Rangers, shall we? So they're all standing around Ninjor and they're in their Ninja robes now. He says they've completed their journey and frankly, I think that's crap. They didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything, and that wasn't much of a "journey". But okay. So they end up very obviously posed out on the rocks of the temple where they learn about their spirit animals. Rocky, with his wisdom and strength, is the ape. Aisha's bear reflects her might and cunning. Billy's wolf has stealth and accuracy. Kim's crane has her beauty, grace, and speed. Adam is a frog, wise and courageous! And Tommy is told to immerse himself in his falcon's justice and strength.

Back at the Junior Police Patrol, we get a training montage! And it is awesome the lengths Bulk and Skull go to in order to avoid doing the actual task at hand. Seriously, we both would love to have watched a show of just Bulk and Skull, and we're both sad it never panned out.

Determined to go save Angel Grove, the rangers leave the temple and immediately attack the Tengas outside. They show of their new tricks, like teleporting, and Rocky even rides on the back of one Tenga as it flies. The Tengas even have their own fight music, though I don't like it nearly as much as the fight music of earlier seasons, and I really really miss the putties in their awesome interpretive dancing glory.

We then cut to the mess that is the Command Center and poor Alpha trying to fix it all on his own. He's managed to get the viewing globe up at least, and they observe the Rangers kicking Tenga Tail. Alarms go off and alert them to Rito storming the castle, I mean, attacking Angel Grove. Zordon says he's not surprised, he knew Rito would team up with his sister eventually. Wait. What? Zordon is... just now noticing Rito is there? Um... then what was all that about RITO BEING THERE WHEN THE ZORDS BLEW UP??? We also wonder what Rito was doing this whole time during the quest. Was he standing around all big and huge twiddling his thumbs? Why didn't he attack Angel Grove while the Zords were being blown up? Or while the Rangers were walking to the Command Center? Or while they were on the Ninja quest? Seriously, what was he doing that whole time? (we can only assume the fish held him back, but really)

So the rangers beat off the Tengas and need to get back to Angel Grove. They morph in order to call on the zords and... that's it. That's all we get. Okay then.

List time:
1 fish. Seriously. Just one. Because NOTHING HAPPENED.

Billy speak: none... and I don't think we get any in later episodes either...

Covered in food: nobody! Yay!