Episode 73- Green No More Part 2

Oh god. I have been blinded by the fish. I wanted to like this episode, because it's the last episode of the green ranger era, except a)it puts us one step closer to the white ranger era and b)the sheer amount of fish in this episode is overwhelming.

So we start out with Tommy hiding by a Very Convenient boulder. The monster, who's name I can't remember, is taunting him and wandering around trying to find him. I still haven't figured out WHAT the monster is supposed to be, but it just looks like a deformed koopa troopa to me. I kept wanting Tommy to jump on it's back and then send it sliding across the big open field. Tommy does eventually attack and then runs away, finding a ravine to hide in.

Meanwhile, nobody can get through to Zordon and Zordon can't get through to anybody else. Apparently Zedd has put some kind of force field around the Command Center. It is slowly compressing and Zordon reveals this will eventually cause it to implode. Um. Okkaaayyyy...

So Zedd determines that his evil plan is going so well, he's going to taunt the rangers by letting them go so they can stand by and watch the koopa troopa monster tear apart Angel Grove. Apparently the evil rangers are supposed to do something eventually, but mostly they just stand there in the worst costumes ever. So Zedd releases the rangers and teleports them to the park. They can't morph for some reason. I don't know why, I don't know how, but whatever. They can't contact Zordon so Billy says they should all go to his lab so he can somehow break through the energy barrier. *sigh*

Meanwhile, Goldar shows up in the field to take over taunting Tommy. He's going to make Tommy pledge his allegiance to Zedd and the side of evil. He's going to do this with a handy little device that looks like an electric can opener with tubing. This device is so evil, it's going to work like the Mirror of Regret (which we haven't gotten to yet, I know, but just roll with me here). It's going to make Tommy want to join the side of evil because it's going to show him his past! The device delves deep and shows Tommy all the battles he's won and just how awesome he is. That's right. It shows him what a good job he's done FIGHTING EVIL. And this is going to make him want to join Goldar how? What? I don't get it.

Back at Billy's lab, Billy has really nice arms. And he's showing them off. Oh, and he's doing something technical with a computer, but mostly I just looked at his arms. The others are watching the news on tv and apparently it's been 24 hours since the monster started attacking? Only it really hasn't? But okay. Billy managed to lock on to the force field.

Back in the random field, Goldar is basically pulling a "Say my name, BITCH!" and Tommy's all "yeah, okay, you're..." and Goldar gets hopeful because really he'll take a Jason substitute if he absolutely has to, but then Tommy kills that hope by switching tactics and basically calling him a stupidhead. He does the most predictable kick, Goldar can't block anything for the fish in the shot, and then Tommy gets his hands on the electric can opener and zaps Goldar... somewhere. He then uses it to send a message to himself in the past. Only he doesn't send a message to himself. Instead he picks up a message of himself and said message HANDS HIM HIS COMMUNICATOR. That's right. A non-corporeal RECORDING handing over a physical object. Mind, there was no explanation for why Tommy didn't have his communicator in the first place, but I'm too distracted by the NON-CORPOREAL RECORDING passing over a physical object.

Amazingly, it works now and Tommy teleports himself to Billy's lab. Everybody is happy to see him, they all make it to the Command Center, and then there are even more fish. Because only a non-ranger can get through to Zedd's cave undetected. And Tommy, being drained of all his power, goes. And nobody sees him. So he destroys the kryptonite crystal. And the evil rangers demorph, have their spells broken, and teleport out of there all at once. Zedd cries in dismay.

Tommy joins the others back at the Command Center and then everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, morphs. Yes, including Tommy. Y'know, the non-ranger that was able to get into the base. The guy who had his powers drained completely by the koopa troopamonster's arse. He morphs. The show tries to distract you from the insane fish by giving a really long zord summoning sequence, but no worries, I'm on to them. I still see the fish everywhere. They're really piling up in this episode.

Somehow Zordon knows to use heat and then cold water to destroy the monster, but Tommy has to be eaten to do it. He hides in some watermelons, gets eaten, and then pulls a mega-heat blaster out of NOWHERE. Apparently he got it from Billy. What? When did he make that? How did he get it from Billy since he only found out what to do mid-fight? I'd do a headdesk here, but the fish are overflowing from this episode and I'm afraid I'd smack into one.

So Tommy blasts with heat from within, then Zack blasts with water from without, and then the monster dies. La la la.

Back at the Youth Center, the new bullies in town come walking in and Jason decides the best way to beat the bullies is to be their friends. Why they never try this with Bulk and Skull, I don't know, but my head hurts too much to think about it. So Jason gets up and pays for the sodas for the bullies. I'm too overcome by the fact that somebody paid for something ($4.50 for 5 sodas... damn but the 90's were cheap) to pay much attention to the rest of the episode, which apparently ended with a handshake.

List time:

*pushes fish out of the way* 5 fish. If our scale went higher, this would be higher.

Billy speak: "My communicator locked onto the electric force field surrounding the command center."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 72 - Green No More - Part 1

Hey, we're reaching the end of the Green Ranger era! Sadly, not of the Tommy era. But whatever. Today on Power Rangers - Tommy is emo, there are some hot bullies, and Zedd discovers kryptonite.

I actually remembered nothing about this episode, so it's all new for me. And amazingly it wasn't that bad!

We open with Tommy playing basketball. You can tell that he's emo, because he's having trouble making the shot. Kimberly shows up (her outfits are really cute this season), having asked Jason where Tommy was. I kind of love that Kimberly needed to ask Jason for this piece of information. They have a discussion about Tommy's powers, which are failing fast. Tommy's hair is ridiculous, and I feel the need to point that out.

Suddenly, a ghost!Tommy appears. He's from the future, and he tries to give a warning, that somehow involves communicators. Oh, Tommy. Meanwhile, Zedd is still obsessed with Tommy. He's putting Goldar's obsession with Jason to shame.

Meanwhile, at the school, Zack and Billy discuss Zack's cousin Curtis, who is being set up to be Zack's replacement moving to Angel Grove. He's basically Zack. Seriously, same character, same dancing, whatever. Apparently they only have one characterization available. They introduce Curtis to Ritchie, and the two decide to be boyfriends BFF. Tommy tells Zack and Billy about the guy who looked just like him, and I start all-capsing about how of course he looks like him, he IS HIM. Tommy, read more scifi. Or go to a movie. Or something.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull get beaten up by a new team of bullies. There are five of them, and they are all color coded for your convenience. Gee, I wonder what this is being set up for? (Also, the red one is hot, and we're sure we've seen the blue one before somewhere, but imdb is failing us.) The new bullies also threaten some kid name Stewart, and you would think that Billy would be more active in protesting this, but he just stands there and watches. Fail.

On the moon, Lord Zedd has apparently discovered Kryptonite. Seriously, it is a glowing green rock that drains people's powers. There is absolutely nothing else that it can be. Nothing. I just realized that this might make Tommy Superman and then my brain started to hurt.

After school, the Rangers (except for Trini, who is off visiting relatives) go to the beach. Zack and Jason show off their arms, while Kimberly and Billy look for shells. Just as Kimberly finds a new shell, the bullies appear, and suddenly we're in a Jets vs Sharks throwdown with the Rangers telling the new bullies about how they don't know the rules yet, and the bullies saying they make the rules. Then Lord Zedd teleports out the bullies, because he thinks they should work for him. They just stand there, and I'm not sure if they're under a spell or what.

The whole group teleports to the Command Center, and Zordon tells them that Lord Zedd has sent down a very powerful monster. Tommy insists on fighting with them, even though he can only hold up for one more fight. Now, if they were being smart they would save his powers for when they desperately need him, but Tommy insists on going now, because it has to be all about him. (My attempt to fanwank this is that he just wants it to be over, and he can't stand the constant not knowing if its going to be his last battle or not, but this may just be giving him too much credit. Then again, I've been in comics fandom for a while, so I've gotten really good at rationalizing.)

Zedd's shell monster thing has already grown, so we get the world's longest Zord summoning sequence. The monster beats them, and then goes back to Zedd, who is all annoyed because it hasn't completely destroyed Tommy yet. So the monster teleports Tommy to a field, and his powers immediately failed. Okay, so here's where we get into the fish - if they could do that before, why didn't they? (... To give the show some credit, I really appreciate the shots of JDF's ass. I am shallow, what?)

The other Rangers try to contact Zordon, but they can't. Zedd teleports them to a cave and imprisons them in a force field, and holds up the glowing chunk of Kryptonite, and tells them their powers won't work. He then debuts his Dark Rangers, who are in the most horrible versions of a costume I have ever seen in my entire life. I could make a better costume than that, and I can't sew. Zedd threatens to send out his Dark Rangers, and then we get a to be continued sign....

Fish! 3. Outside of the "5 evil people move to Angel Grove at once" and the "seriously, why couldn't they do any of this before?" it wasn't that high fish an episode. Especially for a Tommy Centric one.

Billy speak: "Y'know, it's quite possible that he appeared through a rift in the space time continuum."

Episode 70 - Welcome to Venus Island

Hi! We live! I am back from vacation, and now we have a lot of recaps to catch up on! We're behind on the schedule, which is totally my fault. But! We will catch up, so expect quite a few recaps this week. And probably a post on the reairing of season 1, once we actually catch more than 15 minutes of it.

So. This episode. "Fish do fishy things that require a lot of fish to accomplish their fishy fish."

The episode opens on the beach, where Trini, Kimberly and Tommy are building a sandcastle with an inappropriate young friend named Halle or Haley. I hope that this girl secretly grows up to be a genius and make fun of Tommy on Dino Thunder. Haley tells them that there's a princess in the castle sleeping and waiting for a prince to rescue her. Kimberly says that's romantic. Oh, Kimberly, really? Sleeping Beauty is not an active character. Please don't be telling little girls that they should just wait around waiting for a prince to come and kiss them and rescue them. Let them rescue themselves! And be active!

Then Trini sees Richie, and adorkable music plays, and she has such a crush. Awwww. (I don't understand why they felt the need to give her a different love interest when they had Billy, but whatever.)

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have a cunning plan to figure out the Power Rangers identities - they dress up as Z putties (actually, their costumes are pretty good) and they figure that the only people who would stop them would be the Power Rangers. So they go stomp on some kid's sand castle, and then the kid beats them up. Good times! Of course, then Lord Zedd is all annoyed that Bulk and Skull are demeaning his putties, so he sends Goldar down to kidnap Haley for some unknown reason.

At some point, the Rangers notice that Haley has disappeared. They run over, just in time to see Goldar teleport away with her. Goldar has dropped a bottle that has some message from Zedd in a weird language. Also, Kimberly's shorts are unbuttoned. What exactly was she doing with Tommy and Trini?

Back on the moon, Zedd is pissed at Goldar for losing the message in the bottle. Goldar claims he lost it in the fight. What fight? When was there a fight? He just teleported out! Did he lose to a little girl? Because that would be awesome! Zedd changes his mind and decides this is for the best, because now the Rangers will just go do something and then hand over Tommy. Oh, Zedd, your obsession with Tommy is pretty amazing.

Anyway, the Rangers teleport to the Command Center, and Billy uses some nifty scanning technology to figure out that the message was actually Goldar's instructions to take Haley to Venus Island.

So. Here's where the fish come in. Why was Zedd so mad that Goldar lost the instructions? Goldar already did what he was supposed to do! Why didn't he just tell Goldar what to do? And if Zedd's grand plan was to make the Rangers go to Venus Island, then why didn't they just make that the random note? Also, why are they trying to turn a tiny child evil anyway? (Oh, yes, the plan - Zedd is going to turn Haley evil. Or Tommy will surrender himself and be evil instead. At least I think that was what they were trying to do - we kept yelling about fish.)

Anyway, Zordon explains about Venus Island. Apparently it's an island that Zedd can summon, that only exists when Zedd wants it to. Zordon doesn't know where it is. But they can follow the trade winds at sunset and that will lead them there. Everyone is all confused and wondering how to follow the the wind. Billy goes to his lab to invent something, and comes up with a weather balloon. Meanwhile, Zordon keeps saying that the island is getting more and more unstable. He can tell that, but he can't figure out where the island is. Sure.

Jason, Trini and Billy go to launch the weather balloon at sunset. Apparently the clip Billy made for his sensor is too heavy, so Jason steals Trini's scrunchie, and uses that to attach it instead. Cue the drama! They teleport to the Command Center, and Zordon says that the weather balloon is now over the Atlantic. The Atlantic? Seriously? Angel Grove is supposed to be in California, right? How did it get to the Atlantic?! And then they check a map, and look, there's an island! Why is an island that can only be summoned by Zedd on their map? And how come it isn't marked? I don't know.

Also, I still have no idea what Zedd's plan was. If he wanted Haley as bait, shouldn't he have made it easier for the Rangers to find her? And if he wanted to turn her evil then.... no, why would he want to turn her evil?

Tommy says he's going to go along on this mission, and everyone points out that he's too weak. He promises to teleport back if Zedd attacks. Which brings up the question of why he would go along if he's not going to help fight.

On the island (which looks remarkable like the Island of Illusion, Trini comments that the flowers look weird. Maybe that's because they're made of paper. Just a suggestion. Zedd sends down the Invenusable Fly Trap (best name ever) to attack them. Tommy morphs anyway. Because he is a lying liar who lies. The Invenusable Fly Trap traps everyone in its stomach but Tommy and Trini, and they teleport out so that Zordon can tell them what to do.

Tommy has a giant emo fit about how he will go surrender himself to rescue Haley, and that he'll try and resist Zedd (because that worked so well last time) and to tell everyone he's sorry. Blah blah blah. Just as he's about to go, Alpha pipes up with a solution - the monster should be vulnerable to heat. So unfortunately Tommy doesn't need to go surrender himself. Instead, he and Trini teleport down and start talking about heat.

This apparently lets the other Rangers (who are just sitting in the monster's stomach) figure out that they need to create heat, so they use the power of fish to charge their power coins and then they punch the monster and then they're free. Then they all summon the power weapons and blow up the monster.

Back on the moon, Zedd tells Goldar that he couldn't outsmart a fish sandwich. Because the fish are clearly ruling this episode. Then Zedd starts to sink the island. But before it sinks into the ocean (which Billy can tell because there is an earthquake) they find Haley in a cave. Tommy is going to go surrender himself, but Trini stops him. Instead she goes and shoots the barrier thing which evaporates. Haley wakes up, and Tommy picks her up. She calls him a prince. Whatever.

At the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull are interrogating Haley about the Power Rangers. Somehow she seems to have seen Tommy and Jason without their helmets on! Except we don't know when this happened! They've hired a sketch artist to draw the people she's describing, but he ends up drawing some nobility instead. Everyone laughs. The Rangers all look relieved.

Lists:
Fish - five. Fishiest episode ever.

Billy speak - We're sure that there was some, but we were too busy yelling fish.

Episode 68 - The Power Stealer

Today on Power Rangers - we link to a bunch of youtube clips and Kimberly's outfit is so awesome that even queenriley noticed. Plus, Tommy gets tied up a lot. (He and Dick Grayson should be friends. I feel that my Sims are going to need an update.)

Anyway, the actual episode begins with them having to clean up Angel Grove, even though we just did this thirty episodes ago. Man, Angel Grove must get dirty really fast. I guess that people don't bother to clean up unless people are organizing a whole big thing? Captain Planet does not approve!

This time the clean up club (not that they're calling it this, but we like to pretend that there's some continuity in the show) is being interviewed by a new reporter. For some reason, the Rangers in their civilian IDs are the ones that they're talking to. I guess Angel Grove is having a slow news day - maybe there haven't been any monster attacks yet this week? The reporter asks them if they think that there's any truth to the rumor that the Power Rangers will show up. The Rangers prove to be the worst liars ever.

Two questions arise from this - first, how did this rumor get started? The Rangers have clearly not said that they would go, and honestly, why would they bother? Superheroes never help clean things up. I read enough comics to know that. Second, why would they ask a random bunch of kids if they know the Rangers? Clearly, this means that the only people in Angel Grove who don't know their identities are Bulk and Skull, and honestly, I'm not that convinced that Skull doesn't know.

Also, they have a VCR and videotape. We are SO OLD.

Bulk and Skull come up with today's grand plan to unmask the Rangers - they are going to pull the rangers helmets off while they're on tv. Oh, boys, this isn't Scooby Doo. It doesn't work like that. Zedd also has a plan - he's going to unleash the Octophantom to capture the Rangers and drain their powers.

At the park, Tommy (in the most ridiculous pants ever) is being interviewed when Putties show up. Everyone runs away when Jason tells them to. Seriously, why is everyone following Jason's orders? Isn't anyone worried about him?

The camera keeps running while Tommy, Jason and Kim fight and then morph. This is clearly not going to end well. Tommy falls down a lot, and Tommy yells that it's a trap! and both of us fall over laughing. Tommy gets captured (and tied up - seriously, I'd forgotten how often that happens. Between this and Batman: The Animated Series, I apparently watched a lot of borderline inappropriate things as a child - Dic Grayson is the only character in existence who gets tied up more than Tommy does) and Jason and Kim teleport to the Command Center without destroying the tape. Bulk and Skull then take the camera to expose the Rangers identities.

You know, the fact that Zedd knows enough to try and remove Tommy first actually speaks well of him. It's easier to beat 5 Rangers than 6. Not a bad idea, really!

Lord Zedd decides to send his monster back down to vandalize Angel Grove (and ruin the Pacific Heritage monuments) in the hopes that the pollution will draw out the Rangers. No, Zedd, the people who should show up if you do that are Captain Planet and the Planeteers. But since they weren't available, the Rangers show up. Kimberly, Zack and Trini also get captured, and Billy figures out that the monster's weakness is that it is Gaston. In other words, it's weakness is mirrors. Again.

Billy needs to go build another mirror weapon, so Jason has to go fight the Octophantom (which is apparently a cross between an octopus and an elephant, although we feel this is wrong. It is actually Cthulhu.) Jason goes to fight by himself, and he tells the monster that he's not alone - his friends are with him in spirit and fights. Billy eventually shows up with a weird mirror shield (stopping the monster from catching Jason in the process. Because Billy is awesome.) and then rescues the others while Jason fights the monster. (Why the monster brought the captured Rangers with him, we don't know.) Tommy is so weak by this point that his green has faded to gray, and Billy forces Tommy to go to the Command Center. Because Tommy is useless.

Anyway, the monster grows, they summon the thunderzord, you know the drill.

Back at the Youth Center, we are reminded that Tommy's powers are failing. Bulk and Skull show up with their tape, which apparently they haven't bothered to watch themselves yet. Zack and Billy manage to switch the tapes, so when it goes on, they actually show a cartoon. Everyone laughs, and the Rangers mutter that this was a close one.

Fish: Two. Nothing really jumped out at us.

Questions: Why is this monster's weakness vanity? What does that have to do with an octopus?

Fic people should write us: Who would win in a fight? Captain Planet vs Lord Zedd
What would happen if Bulk and Skull had managed to expose the Rangers' identities?

Episode 63- The Mutiny Part 3

Previously on Power Rangers we discover both piranhas in Angel Grove and Zordon plans to profit.

We get the new opening! Trini looks beautiful. Kim looks adorable. Zack has awesome hair. Billy and Jason are just stunningly GORGEOUS. And Tommy's hair makes me laugh like a cruel, heartless evildoer (TSB disagrees and thinks he looks good... to each their own).

So the Zords stopped attacking for no reason. Then they get turned on the rally. So apparently the monster got smart for once and went after civilians.

The Rangers are still waiting on the signal blocker. Billy and Trini might be able to finish if Zordon would stop interrupting them every five seconds to see if they're done. Of course, it's also my theory that they took some time to relieve some of the intense stress by having a serious make-out session (or, y'know, happy fun naked time). Either way, it's taking awhile and Zordon is impatient. Tommy has to stay behind because his powers are failing him again. He tries to be Emo Ranger but fails miserably. Give it up, Tommy. That role is reserved for Adam.

We see Angel Grove through Lord Zedd vision and are DELIGHTED because it is AWESOME. Somehow the monster magics Bulk and Skull's four wheelers so they go crazy, and then the Tyrannosaurus Zord goes all crazy on the drivers at the rally. Evil controls it way better than Jason does because we had no idea the Tyrannosaurus Zord could do so much damage.

Meanwhile, Zedd makes sure his brilliance astounds everybody. Yes, Lord Zedd, it certainly does. Us included. *fangirl-like sigh of dreaminess*

Back at Billy's lab of Evil Simmering Liquids of Evilness (he's an evil genius, I'm telling you), he and Trini finally finish making out the signal blocker. Billy, who had been wearing his glasses during the building of this device, removes them (sad!) and they teleport to the scene of battle. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Did you check the batteries there, Billy? You seem to have a problem with that.

While Billy tries to figure it out, they blast the piranha monster with the awesome power blaster. It takes him out of the game for a few minutes, but the zords are still going after the rally. Meanwhile, Billy discovers he put the battery in upside down. Again. So he fixes it and they disrupt the signal and all is good, except then Zedd is awesome and glowing red and sends the zords into the pit of a volcano. Or rather, down a crack in the ground into molten lava. I have to wonder though, why is Kim's zord having problems? The darn thing flies OUT OF A VOLCANO! It shouldn't be bothered by being thrown into a pit of lava. Ought to feel like home, really.

So Zordon has Alpha work some impossible magic on the morphing grid and takes the old zords from the molten lava so they can be turned into the new zords. Nod and smile, people. It was a big steaming pile of fish for us too.

Is it can be new zords time nao? Why yes, yes it can! The monster grows, we get the new zords, they form an awesome megazord, and then they destroy the fish monster. Woohoo! Zedd gets mad, goes red again, blames everybody around him, and Finster is all pouty and sulking because Zedd wouldn't use one of his monsters instead.

At the Command Center, Jason is pretty and reassures Tommy that they'll always be friends. They somehow see into Rita's dumpster where she's lonely and singing 99 bottles of slime on the wall. Then everybody laughs at Bulk and Skull who are still trapped on out of control four wheelers. *sigh* There goes that bit of character development. Right out the window.

Back at the rally, Billy and Trini covertly use the signal blocking device to stop Bulk and Skull's four wheelers from going crazy. As they run away, Billy cops a feel. They send Tommy and Kim in to make sure Bulk and Skull are okay, which they are, and Tommy acts all impressed that Bulk and Skull met the Power Rangers. They make Bulk and Skull share a four wheeler while Tommy and Kim take the other one, whereupon Kim insists on driving. Good for her. Tommy would probably forget he's driving and try to kick a rock instead of avoid it, crashing the four wheeler by mistake.

They catch up quickly, but at least they didn't come in first in the race.

List time!
3.5 fish. A little ridiculous, but not too bad overall I suppose.

Billy speak: None. Again.

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 61- The Mutiny Part 1

OMG you guys! Guys! You guys! It's season 2! *bounces*

TSB remembers when this episode aired the first time because it aired in prime time and she made her dad tape it for her. I don't remember it airing in prime time, though I'm sure I was allowed to watch it, since I was OLD and didn't have an early bedtime anymore because did I mention that I was OLD? And yes, I'm older than TSB and CAN'T REMEMBER which is sad.

Anyway, we start off the wonderfulness that is season 2 with the original theme song! Aw. We then find the rangers at a motor bike race to raise money for the local Children's Hospital. It's a fundraiser, and it's NOT a martial arts competition! Angel Grove is branching out. TSB covets Kim's boots (I didn't even notice), Zack is wearing a ridiculous outfit, Bulk has the most awesome helmet ever with a rainbow mohawk, and Jason now has a nice silver hoop earring. And Billy isn't wearing his glasses. Billy. Isn't wearing. His GLASSES! They all look over the map of the racetrack.

Meanwhile, Rita is all ready to send down a monster when there is lots of lightning and thunder and shaking. There is a big muscle guy with no skin wearing gold armour in the sky. Why halo thar Lord Zedd! Rita freaks out. Lord Zedd has come to take over because Rita has failed at destroying the Power Rangers. We spend lots of time fangirling and sighing "OH ZEDD". Like, inordinate amounts.

Back in Angel Grove, Principal Caplan is in charge of the race. He reads off some rules, tells them to drive safe, and then waves the flag to start the race. He's also wearing a hideous brown sweatsuit. Whole sweatsuit. As in, sweat shirt with sweat pants. I'm all for sweat pants, so comfy, and sweat shirts, but not worn together... not in public anyway. So the racers all start their engines and take off. Very very slowly. Slowest start to a race ever, yes?

Back on the moon, Rita is flipping out and Zedd is being commanding and Goldar IMMEDIATELY betrays Rita and grovels in front of Lord Zedd. It is awesome. And we fangirlishly sigh "OH ZEDD" some more.

Jason hears some random thunder that NOBODY ELSE can hear and covertly motions for the others to pull off track. They join him on the side of the road and determine Rita is up to something, so they should listen for their communicators. I'm sure the discussion was important and plot moving, but Jason is pretty so I missed a lot of it. And earring! Did I mention the earring? Not like I have an earrings-on-men kink or anything. *whistles innocently*

On the moon, Zedd is present in his Z throne. Goldar comes into the throne room and Zedd remembers him as Goldar, The Groveling One. SO MUCH LOVE FOR ZEDD. Goldar balks at the snake and it turns into Zedd's staff and we spend a few minutes flailing at his awesomeness. Zedd then gives Goldar back that which he once lost. And his wings are back. We don't know how they were lost in the first place, but they're back now! Rita attempts (and fails) to grovel and beg for another chance while Squat and Baboo look on through peepholes.

At the race, Jason's communicator beeps very quietly, but he's special and oh so pretty so of course he hears it. They all join him off road and they go to the Command Center to talk to Zordon. They learn about Lord Zedd and how he's more powerful than Rita and yada yada yada, but mostly I'm distracted by Zack's ridiculous pink outfit and how constipated Jason looks. And Billy. Who is HAWT. Not just hot, not just pretty, not just drop dead gorgeous, he's downright HAWT with his hair all styled and no glasses (though I LOVE glasses too) and fashionable wardrobe. Oh Billy. *dreamy sigh* (though I do admit to missing the geek!Billy who I also thought was hawt and gorgeous and pretty)

Bulk and Skull get distracted by the unusual thunder and crash their bikes. Skull swears it's just a dent, but finds motor oil on a rock and then TASTES IT. EW. So they decide to take off on foot to see if they can finish the race.

On the moon, Zedd introduces us to his most awesome of awesome putties. Z Putties! They have the best intro ever where he just kind of conjures up a few and they, having apparently already met and taken lessons from Tommy, vogue. Rita wants to prove she can "finish the job" but Lord Zedd says no, shrinks her, and puts her back in that space dumpster. He has his putties toss her off the moon and she hurtles into space. Oh Zedd, honey, if only you knew the future. One day you'll want her to "finish the job"... and on a fairly regular basis I'm sure.

Bulk and Skull then stumble upon the rangers abandoned four wheelers. They decide to take some to get to the finish line, but before they can, they're attacked by putties. In actual character development, back at the Command Center, Trini gets very distraught at the fact that Bulk and Skull are in trouble. They are determined to get there BEFORE Bulk and Skull get hurt. Yay character development!

They morph and then teleport to stand in front of Bulk and Skull, allowing them to run away and hide. The putties are a hard fight, however, and Jason and Trini have some issues. Then Tommy and Billy tag team it, but Tommy's power starts to fail (from a putty fight? Really? Okay then) so he kind of collapses. In a true display of highest Bromance, Jason jumps in the line of fire and stops a putty from taking out Tommy. He then discovers their weak point is the BIG GLARING Z on their chest, so tells the others to aim for the Z. They make short work of the putties and, after checking that Bulk and Skull are okay, go back to the Command Center. Bulk and Skull, having heard the voices, are determined to discover the true identity of the Power Rangers. And so it begins!

Zedd *fangirlish sigh* takes a piranha from a river in Angel Grove (a piranha? In Angel Grove? Seriously now?) and turns it into a monster. The rangers are a little distraught at having to fight it and Zack makes a comment about it being "no Pudgy Pig" and we go AW, PUDGY PIG! Because we are weird.

So they go to fight this piranha monster and summon their zords. But wait! He's a Zedd monster which means he's more powerful and he FREEZES the zords mid-summon. That's right, mid-summon. As in, the pterodactyl zord is frozen in mid-air... and doesn't fall to the ground. OH NOES! Whatever will the rangers do?

Perfect time for a To Be Continued...

Lists:
1.5 fish. There was character development! There was concern for Bulk and Skull's safety! There was plot! There were Very Pretty People!

Billy speak: None. I don't think we get much anymore. *sadface*

Covered in food: nobody

Questions we'd like answered: How did Goldar lose his wings in the first place? He had them at the start of season 1...
And how did Jason hear the thunder in the first place when nobody else did? Does his earring have magical powers?

Episode 58 - Football Season

Hi everyone I am back from San Francisco! I am totally jet lagged and operating on caffeine and willpower, so my apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense. But seriously, I haven't watched Power Rangers in over a week* so it only makes sense that the first episode I watch is a Tommy episode, right? This episode actually starts off really well (and man, it is pretty) but unfortunately it then deteriorates into a large pile of fish, and even the pretty cannot save it. Also, I do not care about football (BASEBALL. Why are they not playing baseball???) so I'm sure there are plenty of football references that I just missed or whatever.

The episode begins with Tommy and Jason in the hallway admiring their nice arms. Well, Jason has nice arms. Tommy's arms are kinda scrawny. But actually they're talking about football, and Jason is encouraging Tommy to try out for the team, possibly so they can wrestle and pat each other on the butt. Bulk is also trying out for the team, and Skull is his coach. Bulk charges down the hallway, crashes into the principal, and then they get more detention. We think they might still be there, since they have to be up to at least 20 years at this point.

Later, in the Youth Center, Tommy is sulking about how he doesn't understand football, and he's worried about being rejected. This is almost endearing. Almost. It's just that Adam does it so much better than Tommy does. Ernie offers to coach Tommy, since apparently Ernie was awesome at football in college. That's so sweet of him! It's inappropriately young friends, the older generation! Bulk wanders into the Youth Center in a tutu, and Skull mispronounces ballet. Those two are oddly endearing in this episode. We're getting closer to them getting character development, yay! Trini and Kim ask Tommy if he wants to go to the park with them to play flag football, but he says no so that Ernie can train him. Whatever.

Tommy fails at grasping the concept of football. You are not supposed to kick people in the head, Tommy! That is not a very hard concept to grasp! It is not karate. (Okay, I do approve of the scene where he does push ups. I am shallow. Whatever.) Oh, and there are more hijinks of Bulk in his tutu in detention. Whatever. (Amazingly, there are other students! Maybe they got a bigger budget?)

Meanwhile, in the park, David Yost is really pretty. Seriously, we chat during the recaps and it pretty much deteriorated into "OH HI THERE DAVID'S ARMS" for a while. For the record, both of us would watch a show where they just played sports. (Also, if Billy can play football, Tommy should be able to play football. I guarantee you that Billy just decided to read a book on it that morning and then was all "I know football" and proceeded to beat everyone.)

Anyway, Rita decided she wanted a football team of her own, so she sends Putties down into the park. Billy is an awesome gymnast, the girls kick ass, and for some reason Zack is wearing a shirt. They go to the Command Center where Zordon tells them that as they can tell from the attack, Rita wants her own football team. Really? Because Rita's attacked them while they play basketball and volleyball, and Rita hasn't had that themed monsters yet. Maybe a fish told them.

So they go and fight Rita's monster, who is a rhino or something? But he isn't that important, because there are FOOTBALL PUTTIES. AMAZING. Except then the monster sends them to an alternate dimension, so Zordon needs to call Tommy. Tommy leaves his training while Ernie is on the phone (I hope that's a long phone call, Ernie, because Tommy didn't leave a note) and there's a long fishy explanation about how if Tommy throws his daggers through the mist of the alternate dimension and Jason catches them that the Rangers will be freed? So Tommy fakes surrendering and I don't even know, because this was about the point where our chat deteriorated again, but instead of yelling about Billy's arms, we were yelling about fish. Oh, and Tommy's powers are starting to go out, because it adds drama. Or something.

Especially because then the Megazord appears out of nowhere (seriously, did they summon it in the dimension?) and then it turns out that Tommy's daggers are a boomerang, and also Tommy recovers from his power loss as soon as he sees the Megazord. Fish fish fish.

Back at the Youth Center, Principal Caplan is announcing the football team. Jason, Billy and Zack all make the team. Billy? Seriously? I still can't picture him agreeing to play this sport. Although the boys look really pretty in the uniforms. And I can't think its a good idea for them to be all on a team - what happens when Rita attacks? Does she just know not to attack during their practices and games? Will this ever be referenced again? Anyway, a bunch of other people are on the team, and Kimberly and Trini are sad because Tommy appears not to make it. Zack sees that Caplan dropped a sheet of paper, and calls Bulk's name. Trini and Kim clap half-heartedly, and Bulk comes out in a uniform + a tutu. And then Caplan calls Tommy's name. Apparently Tommy is the Star quarterback.

That sound you just heard is a combination of hysterical laughter and yelling. Okay, first of all, they haven't played any games yet. Second, Tommy did not deserve this which is what they say repeatedly. Sure, let him make the team. Fine. Whatever. But he's been playing for a day and he knows nothing about any of the strategies or anything else. (I do watch Friday Night Lights, although even that show has failed to explain football to me. Except I would like Jason Street to be a superhero.)

Anyway. This episode gets 5 fish. It started out really well and then fell apart. Even the pretty cannot save it.



*This is not true. I visited ryuutchi while I was there, and I was horrified to find out that she hadn't yet seen Ranger Blue, and she was horrified that I'd never seen any of Jungle Fury, so we watched some episodes. Theo and RJ are totally awesome, just so everyone knows. And Flynn is still my favorite. Well, except for Adam. But Flynn is my favorite for RPM! So.** Also, my friends who I went on vacation with very nicely put up with my babbling about my apocabigbang even though neither of them are in this fandom, as they are awesome. ♥ ♥ ♥

**I did mention that I was running on pure caffeine and willpower, right?

Episode 56 - Enter the Lizzinator

At this point we've given up going by the order as posted, and we're just going by the way these episodes are on our shiny dvd sets. So even though this episode claims it is Fins and Needles, we're actually watching a Cheerleading episode.

So, we start off watching tryouts for the Angel Grove Junior High Cheerleading Squad. A random redhead is being focused on (I approve of all random redheads, just for the record) and wow, they are such bad cheerleaders. The cheer itself is horrible, and they also all suck. The random redhead sucks more than the rest of them, and ends up being late for the final word. Awkward. The random redhead turns out to also be a random relative. She is, in fact, Kimberly's cousin. Raise your hand if you're surprised that Kimberly was a cheerleader. Anyone? Bueller?

Apparently Kimberly was so awesome, that the Junior High still talks about her a few years later. So is Kimberly still cheering now, or did she quit when she got to high school, and honestly, who cares about Middle School Cheerleaders anyway? Perhaps Angel Grove High just doesn't have cheerleaders because a) they only have one teacher, so there's nobody to coach the cheerleading squad, and b) martial arts competitions don't have cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita decides what her life is lacking is her own personal cheerleader. So instead of capturing a good cheerleader, she decides to go after Kelly. Personally, I feel she should have just trained Squatt and Baboo.

Anyway, Random Relative (Kelly) is all sad that she is not as awesome as Kimberly, and Kim offers to help her. Kim is actually pretty lousy at cheerleading herself, honestly. Plus, when you teach these things you're supposed to mirror the person, so no wonder Kelly is messing up. Kelly gets frustrated and runs away.

Ernie asks Jason (and hi there, Jason's arms!) to go pick up a delivery across town, since some truck broke down. I hope you're paying him for that, Ernie. Or is Jason just trying to work off everyone's bill? That probably makes more sense.

Kimberly and Tommy find Kelly at the playground, and Kimberly gives what I assume is supposed to be an inspiring speech, while Tommy stands around looking creepy. Then they get attacked by putties, and I'm pretty sure we spent the whole fight scene discussing how I still think Kimberly's fashion sense is awesome. Just as the fight ends, Squatt and Baboo kidnap Kelly, and drag her off to the cave of captivity. Kimberly and Tommy forget they have communicators, and they run over to the Youth Center to get Zack, Trini and Billy.

Meanwhile, Jason is picking up Ernie's delivery, when he gets attacked by the Lizzinator. At first we're totally confused as to why he's called the Lizzinator, and then he starts to talk. It's actually a Terminator joke, or really a governator joke. Oh, show. Sometimes I love you so much. (The monster still looks nothing like a lizard. Seriously.) Anyway, the monster beats Jason up, and then tells him it was too easy, and maybe more Rangers will present more of a challenge, and then he runs away.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them that the Lizzinator is incredibly powerful, and Alpha presents Billy with a grocery scanner readout that says that the monster is really powerful. Nothing can penetrate its skin. Kimberly is all upset because apparently if they can't defeat it, they'll never find Kelly. Also, if they can't defeat it, then Rita will, you know, take over the world. I feel that Kimberly's priorities are skewed. Tommy says he'll go with them to fight, but they suddenly all remember that Tommy's powers are limited. Continuity! It's a miracle!

They go to the Inexplicably Abandoned Rock Quarry, and there are a lot of putties. Including a driving!putty, and we start talking about how probably thinks this scene is awesome. However, we've also decided that it would be even better if it was a driving!pumpkinhead!putty. This should happen. Plus, the driving!putty punches Jason in the face. This is hilarious to us.

Anyway, Jason is getting beaten up, when Tommy shows up to save his boyfriend, even though Jason is all "no! you're so weak!" and then Jason promptly swoons. Booooooooyfriends. (I only find Tommy tolerable when he's dating Adam Jason.) There's a fight, and other things, but honestly, I'm not so much in this for the fight scenes. Oh, and at some point they summon Zords, the Dragonzord gets thrown around in a way that made us start yelling about how physics doesn't work like that (The Lizzinator held the DragonZord completely upright over his head by gripping the end of his tail), and eventually the Rangers summon Titanus and win. At least it wasn't just the power sword this time.

In the Cave of Captivity, Kelly is just sitting on a rock, thinking of what Kimberly would do. She remembers that Kimberly told her to have faith in herself, and comes up with a plan. Um, I am fairly sure that Kimberly was talking about cheerleading, not fighting monsters. Idiot child! Kelly's grand plan involves writing the worst cheer ever and teaching it to Squatt and Baboo, who are talking about cheeseburgers. It is even worse than the Pumpkin Rapper. (Okay, not quite. But it is close.) Along with teaching them a cheer (that doesn't rhyme) about how Rita always loses to the Power Rangers, Kelly makes them spin around repeatedly, and they get dizzy. Squatt and Baboo then teleport out of the cave, leaving Kelly alone.

Now that Kelly is safe, the Rangers show up, and Kelly is very unenthusiastic about being rescued. Seriously, kid, I would be milking this for weeks! But no, she's just all "oh, hi there!" Maybe she knows that Kimberly is a Ranger and she doesn't want to look dorky in front of her cousin.

Then the episode ends. It was pretty good!

... Okay, that isn't actually what happened. What happens next is that the episode veers straight into high fish territory. Even though the tryouts were supposed to be that same afternoon, everyone is wearing different clothes. A group is doing a cheer, and then it's Kelly's turn. She doesn't cheer, but she instead does a dance, so I have no idea why she was practicing the cheer anyway, since all she had to do was dance.

Kimberly and Kelly are both horrible to Bulk and Skull, and there's more fatphobia, and I cannot even deal.


Fish: If it had ended before the last few minutes, I would have given it 2, maybe 2.5 because of the ridiculous monster name. But since the last few minutes happened, it's being bumped up to a 4.

Fanart that needs to exist: Squatt and Baboo: I can has cheezburger?

Episode 50 - Return of an Old Friend Part 2

Hey, Tommy is in the credits! We're officially back in the Green Ranger era. Oh well.

Back at the Command Center, Kimberly asks what good Tommy's coin will do. Alpha says that they've located their parents, but... we'd already seen that! Why is this news? It isn't like they can teleport them out.

Tommy gets teleported to the Command Center, and Rita gets the best reaction shot on her face ever. But Rita decides not to worry that much, and instead decides it is time to conquer Earth once and for all.

Jason gives Tommy his coin back, and Tommy is all "WTF is going on?" We skip the explanations, and Tommy asks how that will work. Zordon says that he'll infuse Tommy with his own energy, but Billy says it's dangerous, and we find out that the powers could fail at any time. Tommy says he'll take that risk.

Cut to Goldar summoning Dragonzord and destroying part of Angel Grove. How is Tommy supposed to get control of his Zord back anyway? Billy tells us that if Zordon drains too much of his energy he'll cease to exist. Seriously?

Tommy is all "Whee! Powers!" Oh, the shield of cheap bling. We've almost missed you. but not quite."

Goldar and Tommy start fighting, and for some reason the box containing Power Coins appears. Why would Goldar do that? I mean, seriously! Tommy gets attacked by Putties, and it is a pretty nice fight scene. But then Tommy falls down, and Goldar taunts him. Zordon's energy level is apparently dangerously low. Jason tells Alpha to turn up the power, and the shield of cheap bling glows. Tommy's powers start to fail, and he reaches for the box of power coins. He doesn't manage to get that because it electrocutes him or something, but he does get the Dragonzord. Goldar and Scorpina grow, and seriously, the Dragonzord is awesome. For all I can't stand Tommy, I love his Zord. Plus, Scorpina. She's awesome.

Also, the song is nice. The music for this show is fabulous. Zordon starts fading out, so Tommy has used too much power or something. They're going to try to bring Tommy back. Just as Tommy's powers fail and the shield of cheap bling glows menacingly, Tommy grabs the power coins and then passes out in the Command Center. Kimberly kneels by his head, and I'll refrain from commenting on that.

Alpha and the other Rangers come up with a plan to bring Zordon back. They're going to combine their power coins to infuse Zordon with energy, and apparently Zordon is Captain Planet! Seriously, they call on their combined powers.

Now that Zordon is back, Rita attacks. Zordon tells them that if they destroy the monster, their parents will come back. They all morph and go fight the monster, which emits gas from its armpits. Eww. Everyone but Kimberly ends up under a spell.

Back at the Command Center, Tommy starts levitating and glowing green. This is never a good sign.

The Rangers are all apparently Zombies under the spell, and they start lumbering towards Kimberly yelling "attack the Pink Ranger." Tommy apparently is electrically charged, and that restored his powers? Whatever. Fish. He morphs and that causes a giant lightning storm that breaks the spell? I don't even know. I guess it's because he's the most special Ranger ever or whatever.

Rita makes the monster grow, and it really looks like a less hairy ROUS. They summon the Zords and it's suddenly night out. Good thing Billy fixed that powered by the sun flaw. I really want a Dragon Dagger. I hope they sell one in the new toy line. They summon Ultrazord and blow up the monster. Rita has a headache.

Back at the Command Center, we find out their parents have been freed. They're probably worried about where their kids are. Even if supposedly they remember nothing. We get warned that Tommy's powers could fail at any time, but he will remain a Power Ranger anyway. At the Youth Center, the Rangers hug their parents and tell them how much they love them. The thing with Kimberly's divorced parents was actually really sweet. And then she introduces them to Tommy.

Bulk and Skull decide to start a food fight. Everyone gets covered in pie. Ms. Applebee gets her revenge on the principal for not hiring another teacher by getting him. The Rangers make stand in the hallway and laugh.


Fish: 3.5 It does have Tommy, and the whole thing with his powers makes very little sense.

Covered in food: Did you see the part about the food fight?