Episode 202 - Ranger of Two Worlds - Part 2

I was already cranky before this episode started, and now I'm EXTRA cranky. And unlike Queenriley, I didn't even have anything to drink to dull the pain.

WHATEVER.

Look, this episode should be awesome. It's our first teamup! You know what my feelings about teamups are? Pretty much that they are the BEST THINGS EVER. And it isn't even that I have an objection to the old!Billy plot. I don't even really have an objection to him moving to Aquitar. It is the execution of this combined with the poor acting on the part of fake!old!Billy and the poor dubbing that PISSES ME OFF. Well, that and the behind the scenes thing, but we've ranted about that before and I'm going to try not to curse a lot.

So, the episode begins with the Zeo Megazord under evil control with Billy stuck inside it. The other Rangers realize that hey, they have another Zord, so they take off after it, in what should be a great Megazord vs Megazord fight. Of course, they promptly lose control of their Zord to the ugly purse monster (because Finster is the best), while Cestro hits a control panel a few times which allows them to teleport Billy out.

Bulk and Skull are taking their detective license test (completely unsupervised) and a monster attack starts. They assume that this is part of the test and just keep working. Oh boys. They are... not very smart.

The Rangers decide to summon Auric, who attempts to convince the monsters that they are behaving badly. Seriously, he asks them if their behavior is really fair to the citizens of Angel Grove. How great is that? Kat's plan to take control of the Megazords again works, but wasn't much of a plan. They just... jump in, and also take advantage of the fact that Ugly Purse Monster is stupid.

Meanwhile, Delphine suggests that they use the Fountain of Youth Water from Aquitar and summon Cestria to bring it, and we're busy all capsing NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO for a while, and also we're distracted by old!fake!Billy's weird folksy southern accent. Also, Cestria's outfit is the fugliest thing I've ever seen on this show. So Billy leaves with Cestria to get more treatment, and he doesn't even say goodbye and there is some SERIOUS RAGE.

While we're busy protesting Billy's departure, we get our first real teamup. THIS SHOULD BE AWESOME. 11 Rangers fighting together? WHY IS THIS EPISODE NOT GREAT? The Aquitians are just awesome and I love Delphine and just... why are they in such a shitty episode? Anyway, while the Aquitians + Jason handle the Cogs, the other Rangers calls their Zords to fight the monster, which includes such things as Kat and Tanya's zords doing the care bears stare. Then the monsters combine into one monster, and the Zeo Rangers summon their Zords and are all "yeah, we're done playing around" so they just pretty much bring out all the toys and smash the monsters to bits.

Bulk and Skull discover that a) they passed the test and b) they only passed because the examiners were impressed that they finished the test during a monster attack and promptly pass out into their ice cream.

AND THEN IT HAPPENS. We honestly debated just pasting our chat, but it's just a giant string of profanity interlaced with "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" so that's pretty pointless.

Cestria and Billy call and it is SO BADLY DUBBED and the words don't match the mouth at all and it doesn't even SOUND like Billy and DISTRACTED BY RAGE and basically for some reason Billy is staying behind to marry Cestria OR WHATEVER. Personally, I choose to believe one of the following possibilities.
1-The anti-aging thing actually worked too well and Billy is about to be 10 again and doesn't want everyone to feel guilty. (THIS IS BACKED UP BY HIM "BEING SPEECHLESS" AND VANISHING FROM THE SCREEN)
2-Billy is actually going to be busy creating the Turbo and/or Phantom powers and/or has been offered the opportunity to be a Grid Master.
3-BILLY CRANSTON, INTERGALACTIC SUPER SPY. Someone write me this immediately.
4-He's actually headed back to Earth to join Torchwood with Trini and Zack.

Fish: FIVE. ALL THE FISH.

Covered in food: REALLY, BULK AND SKULL? REALLY?

Fic we want: There are four possibilities up there! *points*

Episode 98- A Reel Fish Story

I'm so disappointed in this episode. Rocky is a lifeguard and we don't get a single shirtless scene!

We start out at the lake. Kids are playing in the water and a little girl is trying to convince a little boy to go swimming with her. He won't go in the water, however, because Here There Be Monsters. The girl assures him the Power Rangers would save him but Little Dougie is a smart kid. He's not going in that lake.

We discover Rocky is a lifeguard. He's enjoying his position as lifeguard. He's wearing Teeny Tiny red shorts, and a yellow shirt. We feel he needs to lose the shirt. And his shorts could be smaller. There should also be lots of running down the beach. In slow-motion. Yes, we would both gladly watch Power Rangers: Baywatch.

Rocky tries to convince Little Dougie to go in the water, but the kid will have none of it. Rocky lies to him, saying he's been there his whole life and the lake is perfectly safe. LIAR! Angel Grove is plagued with monsters and the lake is certainly no exception! Nevermind the fact that Rocky lived in Stone Canyon until very recently, but I suspect Stone Canyon shares the lake with Angel Grove, but only when convenient for plot. Billy and Aisha join in to help convince Dougie the lake is perfectly safe, but the boy continues to insist There Be Monsters!

Bulk and Skull decide to pretend to be sharks in order to attract the Power Rangers. Instead it just draws Billy onto a jet ski. Rocky jumps onto his ass the back, and they both chastise Bulk and Skull. Meanwhile, Zedd gets an idea. He's going to send down all the fish monsters. Well, almost all. There is one conspicuous absence that makes me sad, but we'll get to that in a minute.

He starts with the Slippery Shark that he calls the Shark Monster. It's heading towards the lake and, unable to contact a scuba-diving Tommy (and Kim and Adam) in very familiar footage, Zordon contacts Rocky instead. Why he didn't contact Rocky first, seeing as Rocky was already at the lake and there to protect people, we can only assume is fish-related. Rocky abandons his post, grabs Billy and Aisha, and they morph. At some point, the beach is evacuated/everybody runs away/somehow whatever. The rangers fight the shark when two more monsters show up. We get the piranha monster from the season 2 premiere and the Goo Fish which wasn't even a Zedd monster to begin with. Shortly after they show up, we get Commander Crayfish as well. Tommy, Adam, and Kim emerge from a lake that looked suspiciously like an ocean in all the previous shots. This is the closest we get to shirtless as Tommy and Adam aren't wearing any shirts under the scuba gear. The gear covers most of their chests, however, so we only get a shot of the boys being Slightly Shirtless. Alas.

They morph and join the others in the fight. Four monsters against six rangers, they should be able to handle it. But wait! Zedd's not done. He makes a monster out of an inner-tube and sends it to downtown Angel Grove. It looks like a bunch of hoses looped together and isn't at all threatening, actually. Bulk and Skull, in the middle of the lake and now tubeless, are distraught at how they will return to shore. Zordon contacts Tommy and he sends the five other rangers to go fight the tube monster while he takes on the FOUR fish monsters BY HIMSELF. Tommy, math was never your strong suit, was it? And apparently he never did learn that lesson about teamwork. *sigh*

I have to take a moment here. I was hoping we'd get ALL the fish monsters, but we didn't. They did not include my favourite fish monster. The Vulva Monster is nowhere to be seen. I would have loved to see His Glorious Phallicness again, but alas, it wasn't to be. We get this Hose Beast (literally!) instead of the Vulva Monster? I'm so disappointed.

Both fights are amazingly short with the thundersabre being pulled out pretty much immediately and Tommy knocking out the other four monsters in a matter of seconds. We have to wonder why Tommy couldn't do that when he had five other rangers helping him, but whatever.

People return to the lake and Dougie notices Bulk and Skull struggling out in the water. Skull gets a cramp. Bulk is exhausted and can't drag him back to shore. They being to have problems and start calling for help. Steve, the lifeguard that stood in for Rocky while he ran off for his "emergency", is too busy flirting with a cute girl to notice the drowning people. So Dougie braves his fear and runs to the rescue. He grabs the now returned inner-tube and jumps into the water, swimming it out to Bulk and Skull, and then dragging them back to shore and safety pretty much on his own. He is a hero and Rocky says so, while Billy insists that he's seen enough fish to last him a lifetime. Oh Billy, honey, if only you knew what they had in store for you. It gets worse, Billy. Far far worse.

So we've determined that Little Dougie, Fred Kellman, and Justin will be a future team of rangers. Because we're special like that and the ages work. We'd love fic.

List time!
4.5 fish... um... kind of literally, actually...

Billy speak: None technically, but I'm so counting "I've seen enough fish to last me the rest of my life."

(note: this gets a rocky-centric tag even though Rocky was barely in it and it wasn't really anything-centric)

Episode 62 - The Mutiny - Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Lord Zedd shows up. The Rangers lose control of their Zords. Kimberly has stylish boots.

The episode begins with Rangers realizing that they still have one zord - Tyrannosaurus. So they send that Zord to attack the monster. I'm still not sure why they summoned it anyway since the monster hasn't grown, but who am I to argue with a fish episode? Anyway, Lord Zedd has the fish monster take control of Tyrannosaurus, and everyone flails around yelling that they need Tommy. We get a shot of Tommy's ass, and then we find out that Tommy's powers are being temporarily recharged by Zordon. He then goes to back everyone up, and summons Dragonzord. Because if this monster can take control of one Zord, there's no way they can take control of Tommy's either, right?

Wrong. Dragonzord gets controlled by the fish monster as well. After it was having trouble beating Tyrannosaurus, even though it has previously beaten the Megazord. IDK.

Meanwhile, Zordon is talking to Alpha about how it is a good thing that they anticipated Zedd's return. We're pretty sure that anticipated is actually code for "noticed it was happening and decided to claim they had been preparing for it." He tells Alpha to prepare for phase 2.

Zordon's plan according to us:
phase one: anticipate the worst case scenario
phase two: make new zords
phase three: ???
phase four: PROFIT!

The Rangers teleport back to the Command Center, and Zack sounds like he's about to cry when he says the Rangers are finished. Don't cry, Zack! There are still 16 more seasons to recap! Zordon tells them to follow Alpha, and there's an AMAZING slow motion walk outside, where Alpha shows them their new Zords.

Jason controls the red dragon thunderzord, his power is fierce and true. Trini controls the griffin, swift and accurate. Zack has the lion, courage and strength. Billy's unicorn has mythological powers and wisdom. Kim's firebird is powerful and agile. Tommy doesn't get a new Zord because his powers are failing. These are changed slightly from what their powers signified back in Day of the Dumpster. (Oh, Billy, stuck with a unicorn. We're sure that Kimberly Trini will be able to help you with that problem.)

Of course, for some reason, even though these new Zords were created to battle Zedd, they can't be used until they regain control of the old Zords. Because Billy is more awesome than a computer, he and Trini go to their lab to figure out how to reprogram them.

Bulk and Skull have an argument about which way to go, and then they get attacked by a monster. The only real thing of note there is that Bulk compares his instincts to that of a homing pigeon.

Oh, and the Rangers go and fight the monster, and they're getting their asses kicked while waiting for Billy and Trini to finish. Seriously, nothing much happens in this episode - just a lot of setup for the finale.

Fish: FOUR. I'm sorry, the thing about the needing the old zords is RIDICULOUS.

Billy Speak: "If we build a device that will interfere with Lord Zedd's signal, we should be able to release the Zords."

Episode 42 - Something Fishy

I'm really sorry I didn't get to Devon's Ghost yet. I've had a really hectic week. It is coming, I swear.

We've reached the reason this blog exists! This is the Billy is afraid of fish episode. And yes, he obviously gets over it at the end, but we still really doubt that he would move to a fish planet and then hook up with one. But the point is, our hatred of that particular plot point would be the reason that we have this blog and the rating scale that we do, so major love for this episode! (It is totally fitting that this is episode #42.)

Our episode begins with discovering that Jason is a licensed diving instructor, which also means that he wears really atrocious shorts. Jason, Zack and Trini are going to go scuba diving, and they invite Kimberly and Billy along. Kimberly says that she doesn't want to mess up a perfectly good hair day (which, it really isn't. Her outfit is pretty awful as well) and Billy says that he doesn't like fish. Instead, Billy and Kimberly are going on a picnic by a lake. Because they are adorable.

Bulk and Skull show up, and it looks like Bulk is wearing tights. Predictable hijinks ensue, where Skull harasses Trini (which is different. Shouldn't he be hitting on Ki instead?) and we find out that they're planning on going fishing. Also, Bulk's locker is disgusting. Seriously, there is no reason for that much trash to be in there. Ewww.

Later, Jason gives a lecture on diving safety, and we get some shots of them zipping up their wet suits. We approve of this. A lot. We have no idea when (or how at 16) Jason managed to become a licensed diving instructor, but at least later canon manages to remember this point.

While they're diving, Kimberly and Billy are having a lovely picnic. Apparently Billy's fear of fish extends to eating fish, (Kim packed fish and chips for lunch) and I'm sure that Cestria will have a major problem with this later. Kimberly asks Billy why he's so afraid of fish, and we get treated to a flashback of wee ickle Billy trying to apply what he learned of whirlpools to a pond, where a fish bit him! Seriously, he is so adorable. Kimberly giggles, and I really can't blame her. She also points out that at least it wasn't a piranha.

There's a disturbance, and they glance over to see Bulk and Skull fishing. Bulk has managed to catch a no fishing sign, along with a lot of other garbage. Apparently their Clean up club didn't do this section of the park. Bulk and Skull try and catch a fish, but all they manage to do is hook their lines to their belts and they end up throwing themselves in the lake.

After laughing at them, Kimberly suggests they go see the divers and then get some ice cream. Billy is all excited, and he asks if it can be chocolate chocolate chip. Now I'm craving ice cream. Which I don't have, but I think there are brownies. Mmmbrownies.

Before they get very far, putties attack! Rita was listening in on their date Billy's fear of fish, and now it is time for an attack. At first Kim and Billy are all "Oh no! Too many putties!" but they end up winning, and they are awesome. Plus, we get to see their gymnastics skills. The Kim and Billy fights are always way fun to watch.

After they defeat the Putties, they actually remember that they have communicators. They contact Zordon and find out that Rita has unleashed a new monster called the Goo Fish, which is the best name ever. The Goo Fish spits out a goo that basically immobilizes people. We should really start keeping track of how many monsters can glue people to the ground or freeze them, I'm guessing it's a lot.

Billy and Kim go and fight alone, while Zordon tries to contact the divers. Did they seriously not plan for this at all? Luckily, their communicators are waterproof, and the other three are just finishing up their swim. Unfortunately, Zordon calls them right before they were about to strip off their wet suits. *sadface*

As Kim and Billy fight the Goo Fish, who is voiced by Lord Zedd and we are both really weirded out by that, Rita places a spell on Billy to make his fear of fish even worse. He goes and cowers by a rock while Kimberly protects him, until the other Rangers show up. Goo Fish runs away, and the Rangers all go back to the Command Center, where they start complaining about how tough the mosnter was. SERIOUSLY? After the events of Doomsday they think this is tough?! Whatever.

They go fight the Goo Fish again, and the Divers get gooed. Billy is all afraid again, so Kimberly kicks some serious ass to protect her friends. Unfortunately, it isn't enough. But Billy's love of his friends gives him the strength to break the spell and (temporarily) face his fear of fish. Rita makes the monster grow, and wow, they were really running low on Sentai footage, because this is one long Zord sequence. The Goo Fish starts beating them up and then Zack (Zack!) comes up with the idea to convert the Goo to energy and somehow that lets them summon the Power Sword and beat up the Goo Fish. Whatever, at least we got 18 minutes into the episode before we had to call fish.

Back at the Youth Center, at a much later point in time, Billy returns from going fishing with Ernie. He claims he might actually like this sport. Ernie says they'll cook up what they caught. Bulk and Skull show up, saying they caught the big one. It turns out that Skull just bought a giant can of tuna. Oh, Skull. Skull says he doesn't know any other kind of fish. *pets him* Everyone laughs. Bulk wants to inspect what Billy caught, and it turns out that Billy caught a lobster. There is so much wrong with that we really don't know where to start. First, that was the most fake lobster ever. Second, there was no way that lobster was alive. And third, that was not a California Lobster. And there are regulations about getting those lobsters, and we doubt that Billy got a sports fishing license. (Yes, this is exactly the sort of thing we nitpick.) (This may just prove my point that Angel Grove is secretly its own country.)

Also, I wouldn't laugh if someone has a lobster attached to their nose. That is just mean.


Fish: This episode gets 2.5 fish. Mostly for the WTF of the Zord fight and the fact that we ended up spending 20 minutes discussing the lobster after.

Billy speak: "I have a regrettable dislike for fish"
"A carefully planned distance from any fish substance!"
"My intuition tells me that Rita is up to something."
(There was probably a lot more, but we were too busy yelling about him eventually marrying a fish)

Covered in: Bulk and Skull get covered in garbage, thrown in a lake, and then Bulk gets a lobster stuck to his nose.

Questions to ponder: What other crazy plot points from early seasons should have shown up later on?