Episode 353 - Strength of the Sun

Long time no recap. Sorry?

So Queen bansheera is all "you have failed me for the last time" to Diabolico and "I will take away your star power." Diabolico is all "worst kid, I should kill him." Then all the other monsters show up before he can. Diabolico is all "just destroy them."

Villains, I wish you were more interesting. Can we get to Ryan being emo and taking off his shirt or something?

Back at the Aquabase, Ms. Fairweather is designing something new. But there is a problem, by the name with Ryan. The new toy is useless without him. Ryan overhears, and he has a sad. Sadly, the sad doesn't include him removing his shirt.

In the cafeteria, Joel and Chad don't get why Ryan isn't allowed to morph, because the monsters are still out there. UM, MAYBE BECAUSE HE WILL DIE? A monster alert goes off, and Ryan gives everyone the saddest look, because he is a puppy, and then they leave without him. Ryan, break the curse first, THEN morph.

Anyway, the Rangers fight the monsters and the monsters are winning. I guess some of the effects are cool? I am just not emotionally invested in the fight. Dana then suggests splitting them up, so she and Kelsey lead off one of the monster/demon things. Dana then announces there's a part 2 to the plan. The monster calls them "my little pretties" and then Kelsey and Dana shoot him. (We really need more of the girls bonding!)

Back at the base, Ryan is having a sad as he watches the other guys lose. Luckily, the girls have come to the rescue. The Rangers summon weapons, but no use, and they all collapse. The monster gives an incredibly lame pun, and the monster that the girls knocked out gets up again.

Supposedly though, this is part of Carter's plan, although I have no idea when they PLANNED this plan. The monster gets close to them, and they shoot him at point blank range. (Not a bad plan!)

Diabolico makes the destroyed monster grow, and Carter summons the toys. We get the LONG zord summoning sequence. I guess the episode ran a little short? Look, if you needed to kill time, there's plenty more shots of Ryan having a sad that you could have used.

Diabolico makes the second monster grow as well. Ms. Fairweather is all "we're fucked" and Captain Mitchell starts yelling about putting all the reserves. Ryan stares at his morpher, thinks about the cobra, and then leaves to activate the new zord, and he morphs. He's going to risk himself. ♥

I'm not really sure where he got the tech skills to activate the zord. Captain Mitchell tries to order his son back, but Ryan is all "they need my help." Nobody can really argue with that. Ryan to the rescue!

Ryan has to energize the solar panels so he has to change course and head to the sun, and the tattoo on his back starts to climb again. He goes into space, fully energizes, and the his zord jumps on the Rangers back. Ms. Fairweather gives a quick explanation, while everyone is busy being super concerned for Ryan instead.

Ryan does a lot of impressive stunts and destroys a monster, but the second one hits him, and he has to fight through the pain of the cobra climbing him to take out the other one.

Everyone congratulates Ryan, but he's passed out in his cockpit from the pain. We then cut to him shirtless in the infirmary. All he has to say is that the zord is totally awesome. Then he asks Dana if their dad will be mad. As soon as Dana sees their dad coming, she's all "BYE."

Captain Awesome tells Ryan that he's proud of him, and he would have done the same thing. Ryan then rolls over, and we see how high the tattoo has climbed. It's not good. The next time he morphs will probably be the one that kills him.

Meanwhile, Diabolico is all "what, you're not sick of these monsters yet? I'm totally going to bring them back again."

Fish: 2. How do you make an episode about Ryan angst this dull?

Episode 352 - Curse of the Cobra

Let's get down to business! To recap the show!

Previously, Ryan has angst! \o/ So, true story. When I was a teenager, I used to babysit every Saturday night. And being the worst babysitter ever, I would basically plop the kids in front of the TV, and watch something from their (fairly awesome) video collection.

Anyway, they had these two episodes, and we watched them a lot. (They were the only episodes of LR I'd seen, actually, since the Lost Galaxy airing schedule had gotten me out of PR for a while.)

Anyway! Let's talk about the possessed by an evil snake tattoo that's going to slither up his body and necessitate a lot of shirtless scenes. Show, how are you so great? (Why couldn't the whole season be about that?) (And I don't even HAVE a tattoo kink, but the hurt/comfort and the angst and the issues and this was tailor made for me, seriously.)

(My flail at the end of the last episode when he got the evil snake tattoo? Yeah, I love these episodes. A LOT.)

Anyway! We start with the villains gossiping and recapping previous events. Then Diabolico gives the monsters a new toy.

Back on the Aquabase, Captain Awesome is explaining to Ryan how great Ms. Fairweather is. And then he's all "there is actual training!" I appreciate that the team actually has to work on this whole being a Ranger thing. Captain Awesome tells Ryan how proud he is of him, and Ryan is all "yay!" but then as soon as his dad leaves he strips off his shirt and stares at the tattoo. Oh, Ryan. You need all the hugs. Don't worry, Carter will volunteer soon!

We get a flashback to Diabolico disintegrating Ryan's shirt and pushing him up against a pillar and giving him the cursed tattoo (yesssss) and then Carter spies on shirtless Ryan because he loves him. Carter is speechless at the sight of Ryan's body tattoo, but then instead of going to train, a monster attacks.

The team grabs their jackets and head out and morph. There's a fight and some cool gymnastics and then Ryan is in pain as the tattoo begins to slither up his body, and he falls off a building, writhing on the ground in agony, and seriously, best episode. Carter rushes to his side, but Ryan insists he's fine, but Carter can actually see the tattoo moving, even through his suit. Then the monsters use the new toy to make a copy of the villain.

... For a second I wasn't sure if I was writing hurt/comfort fic or recapping the episode. I love when that happens.

Anyway, fight happens, and then Carter shoots from the hip, which is pretty cool, and then some toys are brought out. The Rangers get knocked down, but they get up again, and then Ryan falls to his knees.

Carter realizes that if they hurt demonite, they hurt his clone also, and then Carter announces that he has a plan. Ryan forcibly demorphs and clutches at his back, while the monster mocks him.

The other Rangers keep running around and play hide and seek among the containers with the monster, and we see that they're on the roof of them.  The monsters realize this, and shoot at them, but it was a trick so that Carter can threaten the monster. The monster is all "at this distance, you'll blow yourself up, too." Then we flash to Ryan's agonized face, and then Carter decides not to blow up the monster? This makes no sense at all. Their whole purpose is to blow up monsters. Anyway, the monster is all "well, if you won't destroy me, I'll destroy you" and then Carter shoots him and blows him up anyway. So.... what was the point of that?

Everyone assumes that Carter is dead, and then Joel is all "look, he's fine!" He does have Red Ranger immunity, anyway. There are some hugs, and Dana holds the collapsing Carter.

Diabolico makes the destroyed Demonite  monster grow, and the zords are summoned. Could we go back to Ryan, please? Anyway, then they call the other zords. They blow up the monster. I do love that the Super Train Megazord is SO MUCH TALLER than the monster. Then they blow it up.

Diabolico is very upset that Demonite has been destroyed, but the other two villains are all "it's cool, we'll handle it."

Meanwhile, shirtless!Ryan is staring at his back in the mirror again, and Carter has come to see him. Carter is all "Ryan, I stared at your naked back." Ryan tells Carter its a going away present from Diabolico, and when Carter pushes, Ryan tells him the truth as long as he promises not to tell anyone. He doesn't want to be grounded, because being a Ranger is important to him.

Of course, it turns out that his dad is listening outside. he tells Ryan that until something is figured out, Ryan isn't to morph. His dad points out that he lost him once, and he can't lose him again.

BEST EPISODE. I mean, except for the part that makes no sense. STILL. BEST EPISODE.

Fish: 2! Okay, it probably deserves more than that, but we were pretty distracted and didn't care that much.

Episode 351 - Ryan's Destiny

Today on Power Rangers, more Ryan angst! I wholeheartedly approve.

So there is an intruder on the base and there are alarms and flashy lights and loud voices screaming out INTRUDER ALERT. But it's just Ryan. Being all emo. Looking very sad and distraught. The worst security ever takes forever to get there, but it's okay, because it's just Ryan and he just wants to see his dad.

He came to say goodbye, apparently, because he is now in the middle of an existential crisis. Oh Ryan. Don't ever smile or look happy. I love you when you're all tortured.

Captain Awesome Mitchell tries to convince him to stay, tries to convince him that he's a good person (with an OCEAN OF GOODNESS, oh god writers, please). Ryan won't stay, so Captain Mitchell gives him a shiny little box instead and basically tells him to open it when he stops being Tortured Soul Emo. I really kind of hope that never happens.

Bad Guys are having a rough time because they can't beat the Power Rangers. The baby is next in line to get the job done and it's actually used as a threat. That's right, they're going to have THE BABY beat the rangers. Well, not really, but it's a serious threat that they take seriously and seriously consider other alternatives. Seriously. It's kind of ridiculous. I... admit to forgetting pretty much everything about these bad guys as soon as they are off my screen. They are boring and it's so hard to remember when there is Ryan Angst all over the place.

Speaking of, Tortured Soul Emo Ryan finds a feather (a feather bomb, actually, because it's from the Bad Guys and not an actual bird) and watches small people and actually smiles. Stop smiling, Ryan. He gets a ball for a little boy and convinces him his kid sister really isn't all that bad and they have to stick together. He gives them the feather he found and the little girl is happy and the little boy is happy and Ryan is happy and I don't think that's going to end well.

He gets good advice from a random lady at the bus stop, who tells him to follow his heart, and then winks at him. It's weird. But at least he's polite enough to let others go ahead of him when he's indecisive. Meanwhile the rangers are fighting the Bad Guy Threesome which sounds way more awesome than it actually is.

The Rangers realize the feathers are bombs and smartly get it out to the news, which Ryan overhears at the bus stop. He remembers giving the feather to the boy to give to his sister. The bus driver is waiting, but Ryan runs away. He has to get that feather back. Ryan finally catches up to the family, drops all his stuff, and manages to snatch the feather just as the sun is setting. He grabs the feather, flings it over the bridge, and shields the family as it explodes. Ryan the Tortured Soul Emo HERO!

He realizes he really is a good guy and opens the shiny box. Inside is the Titanium Morpher. Yay we get more Titanium Ass! He rushes to the main fight where his sister and friends are trying (and failing) to beat the Bad Guy Threesome. He morphs - TITANIUM AAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS - and it is super great. He totally wins at everything.

Captain Awesome is super proud. You just know he had a really hard time explaining why he handed over the morpher to an ex-baddie, which would be the Best Fic Ever, but he did it anyway. Because he knew it's what Ryan needed. And he is the best dad this show has ever had.  Dana is super happy to see her brother and hugs him and cries and it's great. They even give him a jacket when they get back to base. Because he is part of the team now. Even though he is still Tortured Soul Emo Titanium Ass and has nightmares. Lots and lots of nightmares. Nightmares where he is stripped shirtless (yes, please), thrown against a pillar (yes, please, again), and branded with a cobra tattoo, which will squeeze him until he dies. That's right, UNTIL HE DIES. Every time he morphs, he'll get closer and closer to death.

He wakes up to realize it wasn't a nightmare. He has a cobra on his back.


2 fish. It was a little boring, but all the Tortured Soul Emo Titanium Ass makes up for just about anything.

Fic we want: Captain Mitchell explaining to the Lightspeed Board why he gave Ryan, his ex-and-maybe-still-a-little-bit evil son, the Titanium Morpher. That isn't really working well on humans in the first place and is super powerful and strong enough to take down their only line of defense.

Episode 338 - Journey's End, Part 3

So! After an epic start to the finale, we reach the FINAL EPISODE. We're ending Lost Galaxy, you guys! I can't believe it! (Mark, since you've said you were looking forward to these recaps, I hope they live up to your expectations!)

Trakeena makes her way to the cocoon, and she has a flashback to her father telling her about it. She's going to turn herself into a bug! Her daddy will be so proud of her! The whole transformation sequence is HORRIFIC and there's green goo and it is DISGUSTING.

On the moon, Leo looks at his ruined jammer and tries to contact anyone, but everything is broken. He sees Trakeena's crashed ship and goes to investigate.

On the new world, Mike tells the Commander that everyone is accounted for (EXCEPT LEO). He's told to try and count the food and water supplies, and he worries about Leo, as do the rest of the Rangers.

Leo tracks the green goo to the ruins of Terra Venture where we get our first glimpse of the transformed Trakeena.  They must have had fun destroying this set. Trakeena uses her new powers to power up the city (which, considering the state of destruction, is REALLY IMPRESSIVE) and launch it into space.

Leo makes his way to the Command and he's like "WTF DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF, TRAKEENA?" and the two fight. She's all crashing the ship into the planet, and he fights her unmorphed and it is FABULOUS and then she throws him out a window and he manages to morph as he falls. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT?

She's got a bunch of awesome new powers and the fight is amazing. Somehow the feed of the fight is being fed to the commanders on the new world, and Mike lets the others know, and they get in the jammers to go after Leo and help him stop Trakeena before she crashes Terra Venture into them. Trakeena is just threatening to EAT LEO when the other Rangers show up.

The fight scene that follows is FABULOUS. Trakeena is beating the crap out of them. Everyone on the new world watches as Terra Venture slowly approaches. The Rangers try their weapons but have no luck. Their motorcycles don't work. They are losing BADLY. Even Leo's special motorcycle fails to do the trick, and Terra Venture is still crashing.

Finally Leo summons his battlizer of fug and grabs Trakeeena and pulls her into him as she struggles to escape and he shoots her at POINT BLANK RANGE even though the explosion should destroy them BOTH and FAVORITE TROPE, YOU GUYS. I LOVE THIS SO FREAKING MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

So Trakeena is destroyed and everyone is flipping out about him sacrificing himself to save the colony, but somehow he managed to survive although his visor is totally destroyed. I'm not sure how it didn't force him to demorph, but WHATEVER, THAT SEQUENCE WAS AWESOME.

They still have the whole ship crashing into the colony problem though. And then the Megazord shows up out of nowhere and crashes it away from the colony, destroying a section of jungle and I'm super impressed that they managed to pull off an Enterprise D destruction sequence twice in three episodes.

Everyone thinks the Rangers are destroyed, but they and the fug zords show up and everyone cheers for them. (Leo, your helmet is STILL CRACKED.)

Maya is all "so the Zords want us to follow them" and the Rangers take off after them. Everyone takes off their helmets, and then we get to my big problem with this episode - we find out that they're on Miranoi. Maya narrates the beginning of the season again and rehashes the legend, etc.

Maya is all "quest is complete, putting the sword back in the stone now" and the rest of the Rangers follow. This SOMEHOW manages to return everyone on Miranoi to normal. Not really sure HOW. Not only that but somehow Kendrix comes back. Was she not dead in the first place? Was she trapped in the sword? Are we going to get an explanation? The important part is that Maya immediately runs over to her girlfriend and hugs her. How are they going to explain this to anyone?

And then there are fireworks somehow, courtesy of the fug zords. Sure.

So Maya, who has been portrayed as the jungle girl the whole season, and her native planet, has now been invaded by Earth. There are some REALLY unfortunate implications here.

Look. Here's the thing. The planet already had a civilization living on it. Terra Venture and the people from Earth? Invaders/colonialists/whatever you want to call it. They do not have a right to anything on the planet. And yes, they're stranded. But there's no mention at ALL of how the civilization is going to work out. And how did they fail to notice that half the planet is stone?

I just. Imperialism. Maya's people are probably screwed. But we're supposed to be all excited! They could have found a sister planet to Miranoi that was devoid of life and then returned to Miranoi at the end, and not ended up with Earth colonizing somewhere that ALREADY HAD A CIVILIZATION.

The whole thing just really leave a bad taste in my mouth and spoils what was otherwise an awesome finale. NOT COOL, SHOW.

Fish: 4. If it hadn't caused a rage blackout at the end it would have gotten a 2.

Episode 323- To the Tenth Power

Today on Power Rangers, we get to see the Space Rangers again! We start off with data cards! DATA CARDS! And wanton murder of shady alien who had the data cards. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS???? DATA CARDS! SPAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEEEEE. Deviot reanimates the Psycho Rangers and ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD. They are all there and it's wonderful. They totally don't want to listen to Trakeena but she is more evil than they are and makes them listen. Andros is back in his Cloak of Not-A-Good-Disguise and is disappointed to discover he is too late to stop the transfer of the Psycho Rangers. On Terra Venture, Damon is sad because he carries all the groceries while Maya eats an apple. A hand appears out of the ground and trips him, causing him to spill the groceries. Maya is then kidnapped. Damon is then kidnapped. I LOVE KIDNAPPED RANGERS! Now if only they could be held in the Cave of Captivity. But alas, they are far away from Angel Grove. Kai and Kendrix are stuck fighting their Psycho counterparts, UNMORPHED, and they LOSE. And then we see Leo's arms! OMG IT'S THE BEST EPISODE EVER. Because Leo is working out and has a FLUFFY PINK TOWEL OF FLUFFY PINKNESS. It's adorable. Then he helps a Tiny Child who is crying, but isn't actually a Tiny Child. It's Psycho Red in disguise, because he totally knows Leo's weakness is Tiny Children in distress. And he totally overpowers him. Quickly. Leo is only saved because Andros shows up in his Cloak of Not-A-Good-Disguise. Leo is all hero worshiping him because OMG LEO WAS THERE THE DAY THE SPACE RANGERS SAVED THE EARTH AND I LOVE THIS WITH SO MUCH LOVE OMG. The two of them together... it's like the Angstiest Angsty Ranger Reunion. We just need Adam and it would be the Trifecta of Angst! *so many hearts in my eyes* HAPPY ALPHA IS HAPPY! He is so excited to see Andros. And Andros is all "Don't be too happy, cause your friends are fucked." and also explains the psychos as "everything you are, except the opposite." He takes Leo and Mike to see the Space morphers which have been stashed on the MegaShip this whole time. WHY ARE THEY STILL THERE? SO MANY FISH! I don't care. This is WONDERFUL. Leo blows up a wall with Andros, all morphed and happy, to stop Trakeena and save his friends. Trakeena is all "Yeah, whatever, I got this." and Andros has no clue what he's in for. Meanwhile, Alpha discovers intruders on the MegaShip stealing the Space morphers. DUH WE KNOW WHO IT IS. Way to try to be sneaky and FAIL MISERABLY show. Mike breaks the others out and they all go to fight. Damon gives them a chance to get away and they are stupid and don't take it. Because the psychos are all "There are only seven of you, pshaw" until TJ shows up with Cassie, Ashley, and Carlos and is all "TRY ELEVEN OF US!" because they are awesome. Also, Carlos cut off all his hair and it makes me sad. Everybody fights with their own colour against their own Psycho counterpart and that's probably not the best plan but whatever because GIANT EXPLOSIONS AND THEME SONGS AND AND AND. And how could I say no to TJ and Kai fighting together? And Damon and Carlos! And Cassie and Kendrix are OMGSOADORBS! They call out all the toys and totally win, as well they should when there are ELEVEN BADASS RANGERS ON MY SCREEN. Back on the MegaShip, Alpha nearly explodes from Happy. Leo asks how they knew and Carlos says Alpha put out a distress signal so they had to come. Unfortunately they can't stay long since they're needed back on Earth (and how they got there, and how they'll get back, I don't know and just don't care because this is great). Maya is going to give them the grand tour. Meanwhile, the pink psycho climbs out of the rubble and is confronted by Deviot, who is disappointed in her even though SHE IS THE ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE WHOLE ORDEAL SHOWING SHE IS THE STRONGEST FOR REALS. The only thing wrong with this episode is Carlos' hair. It is all gone and gives me a sad. Everything else is beautiful and wonderful and totally amazing. 1.5 fish. It only had this much because, seriously, how did they get there in the first place? And also, Carlos' hair. Just... the hair!

Episode 321 - A Red Romance

Today on Power Rangers, Leo forgets about Kai for a little while because he saves a girl. A pretty girl is riding her bike, crashes, and flies through the air. Leo catches her before she hits the ground. Her brother freaks out and attacks him, but she's able to explain. Meanwhile, Trakeena is employing a female monster thing. She looks like a purple body builder with blonde hair. But she's powerful, so that's cool. Back on Terra Venture, Bike Accident Girl's brother fixes her bike. Leo is there, for some reason, and admires the guy's dirt bike. Why the guy has a big garage on a small space station with limited space, I have no idea. But he lets Leo ride it and there are stupid tricks and it's corny, so that's okay. Bike Accident Girl likes Leo. Leo backs into a barrel because he's smitten too. Bike Accident Girl's Brother is less than impressed. Bike Accident Girl (who's name is Ginger apparently) sets up a date anyway and Leo tries to show off, then trips on a tennis ball. He's adorably bad at this whole "impress girls" thing. He should just stick with Kai. She has a good time. He has a good time. And the date ends without a goodbye kiss. Oh Leo. REALLY BAD AT THIS. Of course, there is a monster attack and Bike Accident Girl gets captured. And Leo has to save the day. Because she's incapable of running away or saving herself, of course. Leo has to go tell The Brother and it does not go well. Overprotective Brother is very overprotective. (but I totally get behind him loving and caring for his sister... good brother in that regard anyway) And then Overprotective Brother (who is Colby, but I like Overprotective Brother better) blames Leo for everything, even though it wasn't Leo's fault. Leo tries to hug him, which is adorable, and Overprotective Brother will be having none of that. It's very sad and full of man pain. And I kind of want to smack them both. Because, y'know, she really ought to be capable of taking care of herself. Stop holding her back, guys, and let her be her own person! (and they're both kind of having issue with this) Overprotective Brother confronts the monster so he can rescue his sister. That doesn't go well either. Leo mopes for awhile and is all Emo. Alpha tells him about the monster attacking Overprotective Brother and instead of letting Alpha call the others, Leo RUSHES IN TO FIGHT ON HIS OWN. Because he's a freaking IDIOT. But then he jumps, unmorphed, in front of a blast meant for Overprotective Brother and I don't care anymore because that is my THING. And now I ship them. Let them be assholes to each other. And then there are rangers righting and it's boring. And apparently badass female monster is only badass because of her necklace and not because she's actually powerful all in her own right. *sigh* Stupid show. They fail at the whole secret identity thing (seriously? "Leo called us!"? Really guys?) and Overprotective Brother demands his sister and refuses to let the rangers fight and it's just... bad. They fight anyway. There are lots of dirt bike fighting and racing and it makes no sense. They release the prisoners, Leo rushes to Ginger at the same time as Colby and then has to stop himself. Meanwhile, the monster grows and they have to call out all the toys (they totally win, duh). Everybody else runs away. Colby and Ginger just kind of stand there. Because they are clearly the smartest, right? Big huge monster right in front of you and you STAND STILL? Seriously Leo, go back to Kai. You'll be happier. Battle over, Ginger thanks Leo for trying to save her. Colby won't talk to Leo. He's pouting. Ginger talks him into going to apologize, so he rides his dirt bike to catch up to Leo who left all of 30 seconds ago. Why he didn't just run out the door I have no idea. Whatever. He apologizes. They have about ten times more chemistry than Leo/Any Girl. I still think he needs to go back to Kai. 4 fish. I alternated between bored and angry with this episode. That is not a good combination.

Episode 316 - Memories of Mirinoi

Long time no recap! We've been busy. April is a hellish month. So we open with a kitty in a tree, and a girl looking very sad because of it. But don't worry, because Maya is coming to the rescue, and there's some really obvious wirework to make it look like she's super climber or something. Then Maya sees someone named Shondra, who is apparently also from Mirinoi. This should be an obvious sign that this is a trap, since a) everyone on Mirinoi is turned to stone, b) they had to go through a portal thing to leave Mirinoi, and c) how the hell has she been hiding on the ship for this long? But Maya is too excited to think of any of these things. We see a flashback of them frolicking, so I'm just going to assume that this is Maya's girlfriend. Maya finally asks her how she escaped, and Shondra claims she fell through a portal, which still doesn't explain how she's been hiding for so long. Maya takes Shondra to meet Kendrix, and Kendrix is all excited to meet Maya's other best friend. Kendrix and Kai are all excited to cook for Maya and Shondra, and we get more flashbacks to them being babies and trying to pull the swords. Now, I normally love the lost best friends are secretly evil trope (as does QR) but they're all REALLY STUPID this episode. But Kai is wearing a chef's hat, and that's pretty amazing, so I'm going to quit griping about it. Maya and Shondra never show up to the special dinner planned for them, and Kendrix looks like she's going to cry, mostly because she forgets that Maya is poly and she's afraid that Maya doesn't need her anymore. She has such a sad, I think this episode will get the emo ranger tag. During the night, Shondra sneaks out to go after the galaxy book that Kendrix had been working on earlier. Trakeena shows up to check on Shondra's progress. Some guard is patrolling and gets knocked out. We discover what was pretty obvious, that Shondra is actually a monster working for Trakeena. Why she turned back into her monster form to use a keycard to get the galaxy book, I.... have no idea. Anyway, a security guard shows up and shoots the monster in the leg, and Shondra leaves, and limps away. Shondra sneaks back in, and we see that Kendrix has been awake. The next morning Kendrix hears the story, and tells Maya she thinks that Shondra might be evil. Maya doesn't take it very well and yells at Kendrix that she thinks Kendrix is just jealous. Until Maya sees Shondra with a huge bag right after the galaxy book has been stolen. Shondra starts using an eeeeeeeeeeeevil voice, and the two girls fight, and then Shondra turns into the monster form. Maya morphs and there's a fight scene. The rest of the rangers show up and Maya apologizes to Kendrix, although she does point out it isn't Shondra, although she apparently knew enough stories to fool Maya! The monster grows and we get a zord fight, and I'm actually busy discussing this week's PRS instead of paying attention as the toys hit other toys. Anyway, they use the megazord saber and the monster blows up. Kendrix finds Maya up a tree, and she is really sad. Clearly, she needs a kitten. Kendrix and Maya apologize to each other some more, and Maya goes on about how she just wanted to believe. She still has a sad. Then the two of them go off together to make up. Fish: Four. They all fail logic FOREVER. Question things, people!

Episode 309 - Destined For Greatness

So Mike and his beautifully floppy hair are back!

Everyone is toasting Mike (oooh, champagne, want some) and Leo tells Mike that he knew he had survived. Mike has SUCH A SAD about it and recaps the whole Magna Defender arch again, because... it isn't like we just watched it? Okay, admittedly there was like four months between episodes or something. But now EVERYONE has a sad about the Magna Defender. Mike wonders how he is going to explain where he was, and everyone laughs, except for Leo, who has a sad.

Trakeena is sulking about how she can't battle the Rangers, and how her dad never lets her do anything. But he has a new plan, that is going to involve kidnapping, so you know I am all over this.

Leo is staring at the Quasar saber and having a sad, and Kendrix drives over in the cute little car. Leo is apparently waiting for Mike, and Kendrix isn't sure why Leo has a sad, when he has his brother back. Luckily, she is smart, and figures out that he's having the sad about which one of them is destined to use the saber, since Mike DID pull it from the stone and all.

Mike is all "life is short, smell the flowers, life needs to mean something" etc, and Leo is about to tell him about all the feelings, when there's an attack. We get some unmorphed fighting, which makes me really happy, and then the other four Rangers get kidnapped and caught in some mirrors or something. Leo gets injured (but one that sadly does not result in shirtlessness) and Mike forces them to retreat. He is totally protecting his little brother. ♥

Leo yells at Mike for making them retreat, but Mike is all "don't worry, my dog tags are magic tracking devices and I put one on a stingwinger" because apparently they're made out of a special metal and are the only ones on the station. Mike and Leo track down the monsters while the Rangers' energy is being used to make finger puppets that grow. We get some more unmorphed fighting!

During the fight, the saber gets knocked out of Leo's hands, and Mike picks it up, and hands it to him. Leo tells Mike that Mike deserves it, but Mike is all "no, you are the red ranger now." They argue about destiny and who is the one that deserves the sword, and it's pretty sweet and touching, and awww, boys!

Leo uses the saber to destroy one of the skeleton things, and Mike is all "there is no other red ranger" and while I'm sure there are 17 others who would argue with that, it is a very sweet moment.

Mike and Leo continue the unmorphed fighting for a while, and then the monster yells "you don't know who you're dealing with" and Leo replies "neither do you" and then shoots fireballs at him. It is so DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY and I love it. The other Rangers are able to escape, and it looks like Kendrix and Leo are about to make out. The five Rangers morphs and Mike is all "my brother and his friends are awesome" and he keeps fighting anyway, because his floppy hair is all the protection he needs.

The Rangers summon the fish of orion, and then the monster grows. The fugly megazord is having some trouble against the monster, and it gets trapped, and suddenly the Magna Defender shows up, and presents his sword to Mike. Now Mike can be a Ranger too! (Yes, I am on team Magna Defender is a Ranger, just so you know.) He transforms and gets the dramatic flowy cape and summons Torozord and saves the day!

Everyone is like "cool" and then Damon insults his zord choice, because Damon is great. Torozord does not agree. (Damon, I'm sorry, but it looks way less ridiculous then your zord does.)

There's a meeting of the Terra Venture higher up council of something, and we find out that they have traveled 5.6 lightyears and apparently that's almost to the next galaxy or something, because they fail to understand how space works. Mike shows up and interrupts the meeting to try to explain where he was (and fails miserably) and all of the ruling council people are just "I'm sure he has an explanation" because they are NOT STUPID and understand how sixth rangers work.

Fish: 2! Good job, Lost Galaxy! Please keep up the ridiculous cheesy brothers being awesome and what... wait... what episode is next? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Episode 307 - Shark Attack

I remember nothing about this episode. Although the title sounds like a bad SyFy original movie. (Hey, when IS the bad JDF original movie One Warrior thing coming out? I'm still waiting for that.)

So Treacheron is moping around in prison, when the Shark brothers show up to rescue him. They tell him that Trakeena set him up (DUH. I mean, I love her, but she is very obvious with her scheming.)

Trakeena shows up to taunt him, and he tells her that he is loyal to Scorpius and he would like to prove his loyalty. He gives her a map to give to Scorpius that he says will prove his loyalty. (Um, why does he still have a map on him? Really?) Trakeena, of course, is all "mwahaha, I will go find the gauntlet that this map leads to myself."

Treacheron then escapes, and we cue the themesong. Why is it such an earworm?

For some reason this map leads to stuff buried on Terra Venture? Trakeena is all "this shiny thing is mine" and then Treacheron shows up and tells her that the goblet is worthless, and then it disintegrates. When did Treacheron have time to plant the goblet there? Why would he plant it on Terra Venture? When did he draw the map? How does this plan make any sense?

Treacheron and Trakeena taunt each other, and then Treacheron destroys a bunch of stingwingers. Treacheron is about to fight Trakeena when the Rangers show up, and there's a fight scene, and Trakeena runs away, with Treacheron chasing after her. Except Leo keeps getting in his way, because Leo is great. The Shark Brothers leave the other Rangers alone to continue to chase after Trakeena, except she runs into the Magna Defender. We get another flashback to the Magna Defender's son, and he says that he will kill Scorpius's only child in revenge for Scorpius doing that to him. But then Magna Defender appears to have a crisis of conscience and we hear Mike's voice telling him not to give into vengeance. Leo hears it as well, and he totally gets beaten up. Trakeena escapes, and the villains all run off.

Treacheron then is all "will prove my loyalty by destroying the Rangers" and we find out that they can't activate the fish without all of them together.

Leo, meanwhile, is all shirtless in the hospital and I approve so hard. He is pretty. The others all run off to the Forest Dome to fight the Shark Brothers (who really don't look like Sharks.) Also, their grammar is horrible. I hate it that they're all "You'se Guys!" The Rangers find out that the Lights won't work, and then we get a fight scene where the Rangers are not doing well.

Leo is still in the medbay being all beaten up prettily, and then Mike starts talking to him again. He has a vision of Mike and his lovely floppy hair, and ghost!Mike tells him that his friends are being beaten up. Leo wakes up and is still pretty and shirtless and he leaves the infirmary. Alpha is like "DAMN IT, WILL SOMEONE PUT THOSE REDS ON A LEASH."

Treacheron is all "end of the Rangers" and then Leo shows up. The others are all "Yeah, we knew you would get here!" except they're the ones who told him to stay in the hospital in the first place. Kendrix shows some concern, but he insists he's fine.

They summon the fish, and I swear the music sounds like Return to Oz. Treacheron is all "I will destroy them all, starting with the red" Treacheron keeps going on about his honor, and there's some more fighting. I wonder what the other Rangers are doing during this. Standing around and talking? Gossiping about how great Leo looked without his shirt on? Wondering where Leo got his random fire powers from? Swapping cookie recipes? Wondering how Leo is fighting so well when he was in the hospital five minutes ago? Anyway, then Leo breaks Treacheron's sword. Treacheron goes on about how he hates decency, but the man is obsessed with honor. Leo then destroys Treacheron, and we should probably create a Dragon Death tag or something.

The Shark Brothers then grow to get their revenge and they summon the fugly zords. The Zords also get a Fish power-up. The monster is quickly destroyed.

Trakeena is practicing her fighting. I love that she's trying to better herself. For some version of better, anyway. She is determined to be a warrior, and she decides that she needs a trainer to make her rule the universe. Girl has ambition! I approve so hard.

Back on Terra Venture, Leo and Maya discuss how they think Mike and his floppy hair are still alive.

Fish: Five. Just. This season. I can't even.

(Hey Mark, please note that I did NOT end this recap with "and then they have an orgy." BUT THEY STILL COULD.)

Episode 303 - The Sunflower Search

So we start with the Magna Defender having angst! I knew I liked him!

So, apparently his planet was destroyed, and he's calling his awesome zord to fight Scorpius. Unfortunately, Scorpius is using his tiny child as a shield. MD tells the Zord to retreat, and he tries to rescue his kid, who is tiny and adorable. Tiny child tries to fight and help his dad, but Scorpius destroys him. QR had to go and hide during this, and I don't blame her, because TINY CHILD. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. :(((((

Magna Defender swears his revenge. UNDERSTANDABLY. So yeah, his kid was fridged to give him manpain. Tiny child, you should go be friends with Lian Harper, okay?

Scorpius and random villains are plotting something and hating on the defender. Don't care, because Trakeena isn't being awesome.

Meanwhile, Kendrix apparently gave Maya flowers, and the villains listen in on them. Since Maya and Kendrix are talking about how great sunflowers are, they assume that the lights are in the various sunflower statues on Terra Venture? Um? How would they have gotten there? I... sure? Look, I'm just going to point out the giant school of fish there, and be totally confused and then smile and nod.

After the MOTW attacks, the Magna Defender shows up to be awesome. While this is going on, Leo is having a sad about Mike. I'm not really sure where he got Mike's dogtags from? I mean, presumably Mike was wearing them when he got squished? But he goes and joins the other Rangers + MD to attack. The Defender doesn't care at all about civilians and just shoots all the things. MD is all "no, I have my angst, I don't care about anyone else, and nobody else can ever understand my pain." He is totally going for the emoest emo award.

Back in their apartment (and man, I want a Friends style AU really badly) they are all discussing why the Magna Defender has such a sad. Leo is all "revenge, duh" because he is smart.

Somewhere, the monster is attacking again, and a tiny child loses their bear. Poor thing. :( More fighting, and I am finding it hard to care. Magna Defender is a great anti-hero, we get it.

And then the tiny child somehow goes back after the bear, and the monster grabs the tiny child. We get a flashback to Magna Defender's tiny child, and Magna Defender refuses to drop its sword, so Leo stops him, because the risk is too great to the child.

The tiny child is very brave, and with the help of Damon, manages to rescue herself. Good Damon! Brave tiny child!

The monster fails to find the lights of orion, and then it grows, so the fugly zords are summoned. The monster manages to beat them, but the Magna Defender summons its Zord from inside Terra Venture, and I am not going to even TRY to figure out how Torozord got onto the spaceship. Trying to figure it out just gives us a headache. The Magna Defender himself grows and rides on top of the zord, which is pretty cool, I guess.

There's some more fighting, and the Rangers shoot at it from the ground, and Torozord does some more cool tricks and somehow a mountain grows INSIDE the space ship, and there are so many fish involved in this.... anyway, the defender combines with his Zord. This is just a thing that happens, I'm just going to go with it for now. The combination blows up the monster.

Scorpius is pissed off because Torozord is there, and the other villains snipe at each other, and Trakeena is great. Meanwhile, the demorphed Rangers are all "YOU HAVE ANGER ISSUES" and we get another flashback to the death of the tiny child. APPARENTLY THEY REALLY LIKE TO SHOW THAT. Leo is all "I know how you feel! But you have to have control or you're as bad as them."

There is so much wrong there, I don't know where to start. First, no, Leo, you don't know exactly how he feels. So shut up. (Second, NO HE IS NOT AS BAD AS THE VILLAINS. NO. He is not going around and DELIBERATELY MURDERING TINY CHILDREN. Third, do we really need to constantly show the death of a tiny child? Ugh, this is one of the reasons I quit reading DC Comics. (Seriously, DC, I am still filled with rage over the death of Lian Harper. STILL.)

Fish: 2. Lots of boring fighting, but angsty backstory! That is something we're a fan of!

Episode 302- The Magna Defender

Today on Power Rangers, it's Sixth Ranger Time! Wow, that was fast.

So Henchman Guy has found the Fish of Orion. Leo shows up in the cave. There is a fight. It's kind of boring, until the bad guy decides if he can't have the Fish, nobody can, so he BLOWS UP THE CAVE. He hugs Leo and blows up the whole freaking cave. It's kind of epic!

And then a new hero walks out of the smoke carrying now-demorphed Leo. He has horns. He's kind of awesome. Nevermind that he just saved Leo's life. It's all about the horns here.

Later, Leo is in hospital. With Alpha attending him and omg it's so adorable and hot at the same time (more shirtless!Leo please!). Leo wakes up and imagines it was his brother carrying him out of the cave, so Leo takes off. Shirtless! Any episode that starts off with Leo shirtless and horribly traumatized is a good episode in our book. I would totally be happy with a topless Damon and Kai, too, but I'll settle for just Leo.

Leo goes back to the cave and finds somebody mining something in the rocks, but he runs away when Leo calls out to him. Using his Plastic Sword of Swishyness, he breaks apart some rocks and finds what looks like a stone egg. Being smart and trusting his team, he takes it to Kendrix to examine. Because Kendrix is the smartest person on the team and totally knows Things.

On her way to examine the stone egg further, she gets attacked by a squat monster thing who tries to steal the stone egg, which turns out to be the Fish of Orion. The Magna Defender shows up to stop him and Kendrix is able to escape with the Fish. Good teamwork, guys! Except he asks for the fish from her (by holding out his hand) and then all the other rangers attack him. The squat monster thing attacks, Kendrix throws the Fish, and he runs away with it. Magna Defender really does NOT want to talk to them, so he stalks off in dramatic slow motion to dramatic music. With his cape swishing dramatically in the smoke. It's very dramatic, guys.

All the bad guys are now having a Fish of Orion party. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to break that rock open and having NO LUCK. Because the Fish totally aren't ready to come spilling forth from that rock yet. Most of the monsters hide while Big Hammer Guy takes on the rangers. The fight is interrupted by the Magna Defender, though! He comes on the scene in dramatic slow motion with dramatic music. It's all kinds of dramatic.

He's such a badass he totally wins it. He just kind of looks askance at the Sting Wingers and they all fall down. Because they know he'll just beat the crap out of them if they try. Leo keeps seeing his brother in everything the Magna Defender does, but he doesn't want to believe it. Because Mike is supposed to be dead and all. Poor Leo and his dead-brother-angst wishful thinking.

The Magna Defender then beats Hammer Guy with dramatic cape flowing and dramatic jumping and dramatic theme music and super dramatic big explosions. He also manages to split the rock and yet no Fish come pouring out. Because it's a fake! Which means now it's story time! Because 3,000 years ago, the Magna Defender released the Fish of Orion. He ended up trapped in a hole by Scorpius and his minions and now there is going to be an epic battle because he is Dramatic, in case you hadn't noticed.

Squat monster grows and the rangers call out the zords and there is a boring and, frankly, very fugly battle. Let's get back to Super Dramatic and Awesomely Horned Magna Defender, shall we? He's about to end his fight. Without weapons. Because he's just THAT much of a badass. Kai, being super awesome, suggests they work together. Kendrix points out they're working for the same thing and the Magna Defender gets REALLY angry, shoves her away, and says she has no idea what he's fighting for. Which, technically, is true. Leo realizes he's not Mike, logically this time, and has another sad.

3 fish. It wasn't fishy, just terribly dull.



(before anybody gets upset, I know the Magna Defender has a really really good reason for being all dramatic and angry. I would be too, and it's a trigger of mine, which is why TSB explained it in advance and is recapping that episode. I just love all the over-the-top effects)
(also, thank you, Rev, for remembering I have that particular trigger and giving the heads up that we are at that point)

Episode 301- The Blue Crush

It's a Kai episode! I really like Kai.

And he gets a special assignment! Because he's awesome! Basically he gets handed the Commander's daughter and told to take her skating. Because the Commander is a jerk who can't be bothered to spend quality time with his own daughter. Crap dad.

But it means we get Kai with Tiny Child! First Damon with Tiny Child and now Kai? The only thing that would make this better would be if The Doctor showed up and held a baby. Kai is not very steady on skates. Tiny Child is pretty good. He even gets video of her being pretty good. DAWWWWWW.

Trakena wants a social life. I can't blame her. I wouldn't want to be stuck inside a big flying bug ship for eternity either. How boring. They are still looking for the Fish of Orion. Somehow it is buried in the soil of the ship. I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO THIS NOW.

So back to Tiny Child and Kai. Kai spies a pretty lady with the camera. He focuses more on her than Tiny Child and is adorably awkward on skates. He kind of fails at this babysitting thing. Plus I'm totally not buying the crush-on-a-girl thing. But he's cute, so I'll forgive it. He gets distracted by his communicator and goes over a wall. It's also cute! He has to ask Pretty Lady to watch Jody, since he has super secret ranger things to do.

There is bug/ranger fighting and it's boring. I really just want to get back to Awkward Kai and Tiny Child at the skating rink. Bug Monster Thing put stuff in the soil and then ran away. Kai rushes back to the skating rink, not paying attention to the soil. He then LIES to Jody and ignores her while watching the girl and enters ballet dream sequence. Really? BALLET DREAM SEQUENCE, KAI?. Kai, you FAIL.

Later, Jody hangs out with the other rangers to watch her video. Everyone is excited and complimentary until Kai starts filming the pretty girl and ignoring Jody. Poor Jody. He then makes really bad pancakes. Everybody knows it's because of the girl. Kai is totally letting down his Inappropriately Young Friend. Bad Kai, no cookie. The Commander comes to pick up Jody and again, worst father ever.

Kendrix tells Kai all about Hannah, the girl, and then dashes all hope by telling him it's a big colony and he'll never see her again. Really? It's not that big. And then he totally sees her and makes a jackass of himself with mustard and a water fountain. She thinks it's cute though. She doesn't know he's got a boyfriend already, poor thing.

Meanwhile, Big Bad calls forth the things that got put in the soil earlier. It causes earthquakes. EARTHQUAKES. ON A SPACE STATION. *sigh* Rangers attack. Stingwingers attack. It's boring. Kai is totally dragging Hannah away when she sees a guy in a car and starts screaming for him, then explains something about the wedding and a dress, and Kai goes to rescue the guy. And he manages to save the dress. Because he's Kai and he's a badass, even in the face of exploding cars and impending heartache. OH HIS LITTLE FACE WHEN HE HANDS HER THE DRESS. DEAR G-D IN HEAVEN ARCHIE KAO JUST BROKE MY HEART WITH THAT EXPRESSION. I just want to bake him cookies, pet his hair, and tell him everything will be okay.

Then he goes and does Badass things to the bad guy. Because Kai is super awesome. They totally win because of him. Because he's Kai. Big Bad Bug Guy isn't happy and his henchman escapes, because Big Bad Bug Guy was totally about to blow him up. Henchman finds the Fish of Orion.

On the ship, Kai has a sad and won't eat. Damon is upset because Kai is the only one who can cook. Damon is full of hilarious quips and DAMON I LOVE YOU MORE AND MORE WITH EACH PASSING EPISODE. Inappropriately Young Friend Jody knows Kai has a sad and brings him a present from Hannah. Because she is Tiny and Adorable. Kai discovers Hannah was a beautiful bridesmaid at her sister's wedding and Kai is no longer sad, because he has cake! DAW.

4.5 fish. Kai having a sad is the only thing keeping it from being 5 fish, and that's only because Archie Kao is great at the facial expressions.

Episode 297 - Rookie in Red

So, I ship Leo/Kai a lot, have I mentioned that? Because while I stand by my "this series is pretty much an OT5 where Maya teaches them about polyamory" comments, I really ship Leo/Kai. They have an amazing dynamic.

So I am very pleased about recapping this episode, in case you couldn't tell.

So Leo is narrating the events of earlier episodes (um, this is only episode four. Really? Flashbacks ALREADY?) and i would like this sequence a lot better if he was unmorphed. But Leo has a ton of angst about his dead brother, which I approve of, and then he tosses his saber. I just. This is the sort of angst I love. Andros = not my type. Leo = TOTALLY IS.

So Furio shows up and attacks Leo and is all taunting him, and Leo AGAIN drops his sword. He is really bad at this. Of course, they then get interrupted when there's some random noise in the background, and Leo has more angst about not letting Mike down.

Trakeena is being her badass self and mocking Furio for being a failure, when her father demands to know what's up with him. She covers for Furio who goes off to have another plan, and says he knows her. Furio meets up with some other monster guy who has something called the transdaggers, that are apparently powerful.

Back on Terra Venture, the Commander introduces Leo as a new recruit, and um, how are they explaining Leo being there? How are we explaining Mike being dead? But anyway, Leo apparently scored really highly on the test, but he is an adorable failbot while Kai is all "rules and regulations" and "this is how you do it by the book" and basically being super adorable while Leo is constantly getting Kai in trouble by eating in command and then forgetting to lock the doors and basically being a failbot.

Kai is all flipping out about how Leo has no disciplined, but Kendrix is like "dude, you like him, and also you're jealous of how awesome he is" but Kai denies it.

It starts to pour and it turns out that Leo had just decided that it would be fun to make it rain. They find out about the security breach because of Leo being a failbot, and Kai is totally pissed, because all the weapons have been stolen. Kai is correct in that this is all Leo's fault, although Kai, if you are training him, you should also check up on him. (I am firmly on Team Kai in this fight, although I feel they should solve their issues by making out.)

Leo runs out to try and solve the problem himself, while Kai gets the others for backup. Kai is all "no no, I will handle it" and the Rangers all pose dramatically before running in to fight. The five of them pull their sabers and the monster manages to steal four of them. Only Leo has his, and since the monster can't pull the saber out of his hands, it just takes Leo as well.

In the quarters that the five of them apparently share, Kai is being the EMOEST EMO and I love him so much. Seriously, it is so over the top and AMAZING. He heads off to try and find Leo and the others follow him.

Somewhere on the ship, Furio is trying to destroy the sabers now while Leo is all tied up. I approve of THAT. The saber apparently lets Leo go somehow because some fish guided it perfectly and Leo escapes with all the sabers. He runs into the monster and manages to lose the sabers AGAIN (seriously, how is he so bad at this?) and Furio dumps them into the lava, apparently destroying them, along with the transdaggers.

Except. Apparently Leo switched the sabers with some fakes. Also, they apparently knew all about the transdaggers and that was a plot to find out about those too? But anyway, now they have the sabers and the daggers and the daggers can turn into other cool weapons or whatever.

They show off the new weapons and the sabers some more and then combine the daggers into a formation to make them shoot stars at the monster. The monster grows and the fugly lion is summoned (and I'm still not really sure how it's hidden on a space ship, and we'll probably point that out at least a few more times) and then the lion destroys it.

Leo finds out that Kai said nice things about him in his review, but Leo quits because a) he thinks Kai is the best and b) because he's bad at keeping a schedule. So many points to Leo for knowing what his strengths are and bowing out before he gets in way too far, although now I'm not really sure what he's contributing to the colony, and seriously, how are they explaining him being there?

Kai apologizes to Leo for being too hard on him, and Leo apologizes for being too hard to train, and the Kai mocks him for being impossible. Leo smirks and is all "bet you I'll never be late for duty again" which Kai eagerly accepts, before finding out that Leo just resigned.

Then they make out.

Fish: Four. We... may have to revise the fish scale, because I remember this season being COMPLETELY INSANE.

Fic we want: Leo/Kai. Just assume that I am requesting that in every recap, okay? Also, if someone wants to write something explaining how they explained Leo being on the ship, or how the fugly zord is buried in the ship, go right ahead.

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 281 - Rangers Gone Psycho

Today on Power Rangers,

So we start off with a battle. There is screaming. And a weird owl monster thing. It's... not pretty. Nor is it exciting. Nor does it bode well for this episode. They win, of course.

Back on the ship, Andros has a sad. He can't stop staring at his locket. Because he misses his sister. Again. He flash backs to talking to her about missing her, and getting to know her, and how they have all the time in the world. Except they don't because she's evil again. Poor Andros. Ashley manages to talk him into taking a break back on Earth. Adelle gives them heaps of food, but Carlos is awesome and remembers to say "thank you".

They overhear a girl playing with her little electronic organizer. It sounds just like the communicators and all I could think was how super awesome it was at the time, and how super clunky and huge it looks compared to today's tech. Then they get distracted by a news report. There was an attack at a building and the news reporter sees the rangers, and asks them what happened. Except it's not the rangers! They attack the reporter.

The real rangers end up on the scene and there is an epic battle of ranger vs ranger. This is super awesome! The Psycho Rangers are GOOD. It is one amazing battle. They end up wearing really cool armour before introducing themselves. Faster, stronger, BETTER. And EVIL. It's super intense.

Zhane does not have a psycho ranger equivalent, though, and rushes in just in time to save them. The Psycho Rangers vanish, but not before taking some energy from the real rangers. Astronema is sure this is the only way to beat the real rangers. This is actually a really good plan of hers.

The real rangers can't figure out what's going on. They don't know who the psycho rangers are, where they came from, how to find them. They don't know how to beat them. And it's really clearly bothering them.

The Psycho Rangers are taken in by the sound of the little address storage device. They keep attacking humans to no avail. The real rangers can't figure out why random people are being attacked. Luckily Zhane is still on Earth. Or not so luckily, because the Psycho Rangers find him and capture him. Oh Zhane, you're so pretty when you're tied up.

They've taken him to the old library (apparently there is a new one?) and it's a total disaster. Seriously. Wouldn't they have moved all that stuff to the new library? Anyway, Zhane is still tied up and is very pretty. The real rangers can't get through a force field, though, and aren't allowed to morph. So Andros comes up with a plan, because he has to get his boyfriend back. He uses a remote controlled car to distract them and they fall for it (running like I don't even know what... who the heck pulls their knees up to their chest while running?). The rangers get in and rush to Zhane. Who is delightfully tied up! There should be more Zhane and bondage in this show.

There is a big battle between the rangers and the psycho rangers, because of course they knew the rangers were there. They're evil, not stupid! Though I can see how it would be easy to make that mistake in this show...

The battle is once again epic but the psycho's get called back before they can completely destroy the rangers. But not before there is MAJOR damage to the rangers. Zhane escapes just in time to SEE THEM FALL. Like, hardcore fall. So he rushes to Andros (boyfriends!) and helps them back to the ship.

Astronema has the BEST PLAN EVER. She is going to use the psycho rangers to drain the power from Dark Spectre while they simultaneously destroy the power rangers. This will leave her free to be in charge of everything. SHE IS FREAKING BRILLIANT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING.

Episode 277- Astronema Thinks Twice

Today on Power Rangers, it's Astronema's turn to have a sad.

She's wandering around Earth as the memories start to come back to her. She won't let go of the locket and part of her remembers being snatched as a child, a little boy chasing after her, but she doesn't want to. She's so conflicted! And she plays it SO WELL.

Andros finds her and confronts her, because he knows she remembers. He thinks if he can just get her to see, she'll accept him and the goodness still inside her. She attacks instead and runs away, but I can't really blame her. She's confronting the fact that her whole life up to that point has been a lie. That's a big deal.

Darkonda delights in the conflict. Ecliptor is not so happy that Darkonda is having fun tearing apart his Adopted Daughter. He's going to take care of that for her, and get rid of Darkonda once and for all. Or, well, that's the plan anyway. The battle is amazing and Darkonda actually tries to run away, but Ecliptor will have none of it. He is determined to take care of this problem for Karone. Unfortunately, Darkonda cheats and forces Ecliptor to join with him again. Ecliptor escapes, barely, and Darkonda gets away again. Ecliptor screams out Darkonda.

Darkonda is counting down his lives and requests Dark Spectre destroy Ecliptor for him. Yeah, that's soooo not happening.

Astronema confronts Ecliptor about her brother, and Ecliptor explains that he was made to be evil, but she was born to be good. It's only because of him that she is who she has become. Except that Ecliptor isn't really evil! He loves! He has a heart! He cares deeply! He will do whatever it takes to save those who matter to him! He's only evil because he thinks that's what he has to be! Oh Ecliptor, I adore you and your poor tortured story. Astronema loves him and is determined to remain evil for him, so she sends a monster after Andros.

This show could benefit from an Adopted Dad Logan tumblr. Just saying.

She goes to watch the fight and is once again torn by emotions. Andros is getting the snot beat out of him, and he loses his morpher, which she manages to grab. She could save him, but she's not sure yet if she should and OMG THIS SHOW! ALL MY LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. She throws him his morpher and walks away, while he morphs and saves himself from the monster she sent to him (and then the others show up and there is all the toys and yada yada yada I don't care about this part).

I freaking ADORE these episodes. This is probably the tightest Power Rangers has ever been.

Dark Spectre doubts Astronema. She wants to be evil. He commands her to destroy Andros, knowing who he is. She hesitates, but decides to do it anyway.

Meanwhile, the others are trying to convince Andros that she's still dangerous. He refuses to see it and goes to meet her alone. Astronema tells Andros she'll take him to Zordon. He BELIEVES HER. BECAUSE HE WANTS TO. HE EVEN TAKES HER ON THE SHIP, and the others totally aren't happy with it. And understandably so! She's spent the better part of this season trying to kill them. He defends her, they grudgingly go along with it but only after she gives the coordinates. And now nobody really trusts Andros (and I can't blame them, but I can't blame him either). Oh Andros. Sweetheart. ALL THE CRIES.

Episode 276- The Secret of the Locket

Today on Power Rangers, we get the best plot twist of the late 90's. Remember 1998, guys? I was 17. I did NOT see this episode coming, not at all. It's old hat now, but it seemed so novel at the time.

So we all know Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers (thus far), right? He lost his sister at a young age and has never been able to find her. Then his boyfriend best friend takes a hit for him and has to spend two years cryogenically frozen in the hopes of one day being healed enough to emerge. His entire planet is destroyed and the few survivors must scatter to the reaches of the galaxy. So what could possibly make poor Andros have an even bigger Sad? TODAY'S EPISODE, THAT'S WHAT.

So Andros finally gets to confront Darkonda about kidnapping Karone. He's a man possessed with this battle and honestly, as much as I get tired of the fighting, this battle is pretty epic and I could happily watch more of it. It would only be more amazing if he did it unmorphed. Because Andros is just a BAMF like that. He's almost had him destroyed, too, when Ecliptor distracts him long enough for Darkonda to escape. Then there is epic crying. Poor Andros.

Darkonda hangs out in the forest and does some major monologuing while setting up some hidden underground trigger which causes a bunch of lasers to fire. This bad guy seriously never stops talking to himself. Back on the ship, however, Andros lays in his dark bunk and has nightmares. Because that's what you do when your entire life has been one traumatizing event after another.

In what can only be described as beating us about the head with it, the shot of Andros holding the picture of his sister fades into Astronema holding a locket and asking Ecliptor where he found her. He says her parents and brother were killed by the power rangers and she was left on his doorstep, the only survivor. She thinks her brother is alive and he assures her otherwise, so she goes to attack Earth to make herself feel more evil.

It kind of works, until she sees a woman ushering her children away. The little girl falls and the little boy goes back to get her and Andros has to rush to their rescue. He launches on top of them to take the devastating blow coming to them, but Astronema attacks her own Quantrons to stop them from hurting the family. Andros is confused because clearly he has not been watching the same show we have.

Darkonda shows up and tempts Andros away from the battle. Ecliptor follows, because he's curious, as you are. Andros falls right into the trap, but manages to avoid stepping on the land mine altogether. He is unintentionally brilliant like that. There is another epic battle and Darkonda taunts Andros about Karone, saying she doesn't know he exists, etc etc etc. Darkonda then STEPS ON HIS OWN MINE. And blows himself up. Because Ecliptor got in the way and drew him out into the open. He intentionally saved Andros' life, and says it will just be this one time. Andros is thoroughly confused. Again, because he isn't watching the same show we are.

Andros is back in the main fight and ends up fighting Astronema. She's angry and confused and full of emotion, so she takes it out on him. He manages to cut off her locket and she is clearly upset, but has to flee before she can get the locket. Andros starts to look for the locket, but they have a monster to fight first. So some of the toys come out and we all know what happens here.

Let's get back to that locket, shall we? Andros is wandering around the smoldering battlefield when he finds it on some rebar. Astronema is also there trying to find her locket (I assume she still has it mostly because Ecliptor is really not as bad as he seems... he loves her, he's cared for her all those years, so he let her keep it... and mostly because I just really love this plot device). Andros opens it and sees his sister and himself, tiny pictures inside. He is shocked and pulls out his own locket with the same pictures inside. He knows she's Karone now. Astronema does not want to believe this. She knows it's true, you can see it on her face, but she doesn't want to believe it. She fights back and then runs away. Both are clearly overcome with emotion, unsure of what to do next and how to handle things.

So Andros finds his sister and then loses her, because she's the bad guy and he will have to destroy her to save the Earth. Oh Andros. Your Biggest Sad Ever just got bigger, poor boy.

2.5 fish. It actually made a fair amount of sense, for a Power Rangers episode anyway.

Episode 271 - Red with Envy

This morning starts off with a Darkonda vs Ecliptor "battle". Darkonda wants him as a business partner, to conquer the Earth together. Ecliptor will be having none of that. I'd much rather they just fight. Because they are awesome.

Darkonda goes it alone, of course, and sends his Crocotox to Earth to spread toxins. In the oceans around Angel Grove only, apparently. Because Angel Grove is the only place that matters, as we have learned for the past 5 seasons. Meanwhile, on the MegaShip, Andros is clearly practicing for some Very Important Conversation. He wants to ask Ashley out on a date, but he has no clue how to do it. He really needs to just accept his love for Zhane and give up on Ashley, so she can go back to Carlos, whom she really loves. Andros, finally settled on a question, stumbles upon Zhane trying to teach Ashley how to use telekensis. She can't do it, but he's all "let me wrap myself around you and show you how as if we're on a date and I'm teaching you to play pool in a cheesy romantic comedy". Andros gives up his Sad for a Jealous.

They have to stop everything to go fight the Crocotox though. Andros and Ashley work together, only to have Zhane rush in to protect his boyfriend, and Ashley by association, and she calls him a gentleman. Andros' jealousy grows by leaps and bounds. For some reason, Ashley, who can totally take down monsters by herself, can't be arsed to fight. Zhane rushes off, Ashley wants to go find him, and they chastise him for being demorphed in public. He's an alien, I'm not sure it really matters. But it's foreshadowing, so I totally forgive them.

Andros attempts to be slightly mature and discuss his feelings with Ashley, except Zhane interrupts and Ashley, instead of saying "Just a minute Zhane, I'm talking to Andros right now", carries on a conversation. And then goes back to Andros like he's a second thought. Of course, Andros could totally just have said "I like you, let's hang out" but instead he sulks and says "forget it". He then takes it out on Zhane. So much for maturity. It would also help if Zhane wasn't being such a dick about it (even though I totally love him for it).

Oh boys. Zhane is only cock-blocking in an attempt to get his boyfriend back, not because he likes Ashley! If only Andros would see that. Zhane even does the whole flashback I-love-you-forever thing with ANDROS. Seriously, boyfriends.

I really hate the two guys fight over one girl thing. Same for two girls over one guy. It's ridiculous and nobody comes off for the better.

But then Zhane, remembering his undying love for Andros, goes down to join the fight. He doesn't care if Andros is mad at him, because they're boyfriends best friends and he's going to help, no matter what. And good thing, too, because the Crocotox catches the rangers in a net and kidnaps them all. They shouldn't have fallen for it, but they did, so whatever. Zhane will have to rescue them, which he does as soon as he gets rid of Ecliptor. How does he know they need help? Because ANDROS CALLED TO HIM WITH HIS MIND. THEY CAN READ EACH OTHERS MINDS.

Zhane takes down Darkonda with his bike and Andros gets the rangers out of the net with his LASER, which he didn't think to use before. There is a big monster fight with all the toys while Zhane fights the other monster, doing a badass demorph right after taking it down (unintentional demorph, of course, but it was still super flashy). Andros is panicked with the need to find Zhane immediately after the fight is over. Oh boys.

Back on the ship, Andros apologizes. Zhane is a cocky badass, but all is forgiven. Ashley and Andros set up a date. Zhane asks Alpha for help with his demorphing problem (oh show, I can't stop laughing... poor impotent Zhane). Now Zhane has the Sad. Damn Andros, stop spreading the Sad around the ship, it's not fair to the others.

5 fish. I really don't like the fighting over another person thing.

Episode 270 - Survival of the Silver

So did you know it's the best time of year? It's Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange time! Sign-ups are now open so if you haven't done so already and want to join in on the fic-giving fun, head over to AO3 and sign up. If you don't have an AO3 account, you can request a code from either TSB or myself. We're happy to share.

Today on Power Rangers, the Rangers go on a hiking trip through the desert to find... rock samples? No clue why they want rock samples. But Carlos is totally seeing things and TJ decides to make fun of him. Because TJ is awesome. What Carlos really sees is invisible Jawas. This is apparently not Earth, despite looking very much like it. They decide to morph and fight mere feet from the MegaShip. WHY? Why fight? Why not just run into the ship and fly away? It's not like they were fighting a monster or defending Earth or something. They invaded the Jawas home, not the other way around. They do eventually do just that, but not before something invades the ship and does damage to the engine.

While fixing the engine, Cassie discovers a hidden door. Carlos follows her, but TJ and Ashley are talking about the ship and don't notice. Cassie is totally transfixed by Mysterious Frozen Man (complete with penis shape on the readout of the vitals monitoring equipment... nice). Carlos calls the others in and everybody is really really confused. Because there is a FROZEN MAN on the ship that they had no idea about.

Andros realizes the others are someplace they shouldn't be and decides to spill his dirty secret. He introduces Mysterious Frozen Man as Zhane, the silver ranger, mortally wounded in the battle of KO-35. Zhane was his boyfriend best friend and was wounded saving his life. ZHANE TOOK THE BLOW MEANT FOR ANDROS. This is totally one of my things, guys, and this is yet another reason why Andros has the Biggest Sad to Ever Sad on Power Rangers... at least until RPM. TJ is totes understanding. Carlos is all supportive. Ashley just wants to know why he never told them (gee, I wonder why... he barely knows you people).

Cassie goes to check the rock sample and discovers an egg that has hatched into some weird insect monster thing. She fights him off all on her own, because she is super awesome, but then he locks her in the cargo bay with him. Cassie is able to open the cargo bay door and gets him sucked out into space while she clings to a pole. It was not her brightest idea, but it worked... temporarily. Because apparently this monster can breathe in space and is clinging to the side of the ship, causing a lot of damage, and an emergency landing.

They go out to fight. Jawas get on the ship and Alpha has to threaten them with the karate he knows (which must be the hip hop kido Zack taught him). They all fail at fighting a whole lot. And MYSTERIOUS FROZEN MAN FLAT LINES IN HIS TUBE! OH NOES! Andros can sense that something is very wrong, drops his sword melodramatically, and screams NO in slo-mo. Because that's how he rolls when his boyfriend pretend-dies. He is going to make them pay.

But wait! He doesn't have to! Because ZHANE WAKES UP! And saunters out of the MegaShip in all his silver glory, apparently with no side effects from having been FROZEN FOR TWO YEARS (which really doesn't work, but it's Power Rangers, so I'll roll with it). And totally saves the day, while being awesomely shiny and super cocky. Oh Zhane. Never change. Back on the MegaShip, Zhane and Andros have a dorky friendship greeting and then run off to fight. Andros and the Earth Four go to fight the big insect thing. Zhane says hi to Alpha, though how he knew about Alpha I'm not sure. It's not like they had a lot of time to talk about what's happened in the past TWO YEARS.

They totally win and get back on board to see Zhane boasting to Alpha. Andros corrects his story and there is happy boyfriend smiles and hugs and DAW! BOYS! Ashley is smitten with Zhane, which hello, you were just macking on Andros the past episode, and she is really bad at picking up on the BOYFRIENDS thing. Andros drags him off to his bunk to make out catch up on old times.

2.5 fish. It was pretty solid. Also, BOYFRIENDS.

Episode 266- Flashes of Darkonda

So I was going to try to do something really awesome this past weekend while TSB was at DragonCon. I thought about recapping the first episode of Gokaiger or VR Troopers. Then I thought I'd go way back and really hit my nostalgia button and do the first episode of Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog. Instead, I read books two and three of A Song of Ice and Fire and alas, you all suffered the loss. Sorry? Only not really because new obsession.

Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.

TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?

So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*

Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.

Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.

4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).