Episode 247- The Ranger Rivalry

Let me start by saying I HATE this trope. I HATE the "two people fight over the affections of one poor soul" thing. People are not prizes to be won and should not be literally fought over. Let the person decide who s/he wants to date, and accept that it might not be either of you!

So Ashley is teaching a group of little girls hip hop dancing. She ensures all the tiny children have a ride home and then Lt. Stone asks her if she's going to the dance later. She doesn't have tickets, nor a date, and really she should just ask Carlos! He'd definitely say yes and it would be romantic and fun. But instead she spies New Kid and Lt. Stone tells him New Kid (apparently Bobby) does not have a date. He is apparently Mandy's older brother, and Mandy is in Ashley's dance class. She is very obvious in her flirting, offering to teach him to dance.

But OH NOES! Bobby knows Cassie. And introduces them (ahhahahah), and they point out they're best friends. Both think he's totally cute. He's really not (or at least he's not my type). In school, all the girls go nuts over Bobby. He approaches Ashley and asks her to teach him how to dance. Bobby asks if tomorrow is okay because he's hanging out with Cassie that afternoon. Ashley says it's a date but she's totally not happy about Cassie having time with Bobby. So she recruits TJ to go play catch with her at the park. Where Cassie and Bobby are.

Cassie is playing guitar and Ashley throws a ball at Bobby. TJ apologizes and asks if they want to play and the girls are really violent with each other. I HATE THIS EPISODE. LET THE POOR MAN CHOOSE FOR HIMSELF! Fighting with each other will solve NOTHING. It's up to HIM if he wants to date either of them, not up to who wins the fights. TJ smartly suspects something is up.

Bobby has car trouble and Ashley jumps to the rescue. Bobby is very impressed and Ashley is all touchy feely while Cassie tries to ask Bobby to the dance. Carlos and Justin are in trouble and Cassie actually asks to stay behind with Bobby! REALLY CASSIE?!?!?!? Your FRIENDS NEED you and you're going to abandon them for a boy??? WHAT THE HELL SHOW? Major props to TJ for telling her off (in the nicest way possible, because this is Power Rangers). Cassie fights but when she gets back to the parking lot, Bobby is gone.

He approaches Ashley in school the next day. He asks if Cassie is okay and ASHLEY THROWS HER UNDER THE BUS! WHAT THE HELL ASHLEY?!?!??! She tells Bobby that Cassie is flaky and runs off all the time. SHUT UP! I HATE THIS EPISODE WITH A FIERY PASSION. Another girl ends up inviting herself to the dance lesson. Ashley asks Mandy about Bobby, and Mandy says Bobby likes a girl but she can't remember who it is.

Ashley flails a bit in front of Bobby and calls it dancing. They flirt a lot and suddenly by the end he's a Super Awesome Dancer (only not really). Her communicator beeps and she has to run off while he practices. She rushes off to fight Divatox, but she's really cranky and bitchy about it. And there is an underwater Zord fight and then BS shows up to save the day.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THEM THIS EPISODE?!?! Worst. Episode. EVER.

Carlos, TJ, and Justin buy tickets to the dance. Bobby comes up to ask for their advice about a girl he likes. Carlos tells him it's scarier to think about asking than actually asking. Ashley and Cassie come in and Bobby says he's going to go ask who he likes to the dance. He heads towards a large group of the girls. Ashley goes all giggly and weird but he walks right past her. Cassie goes all slick and weird and Bobby walks right past her. He ends up asking Glenda The Other Girl to the dance. GOOD FOR YOU, BOBBY! YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN BEING SOME GIRL'S TROPHY! Glenda will appreciate you for who you are, which Cassie and Ashley were apparently incapable of.

Cassie and Ashley apologize to each other and all is well.

The girls now need dates. TJ already has one. Carlos apparently does as well. Justin holds his hands out and says he'll take them both! And they agree. AWWWWWW.

5 fish. This was a HORRIBLE episode and I never ever EVER want to see it again.

Episode 213 - Bicycle Built for the Blues

Oh hey! It's Justin's birthday! We.... should have delayed this episode, but both of us have blocked out forgotten most of Turbo, or else we would totally have watched this next week.

The Rangers are plotting a surprise party for Justin, and I'm going to use this as an excuse to rant about how much I hate surprise parties. Mostly the ones that have the "and we're going to pretend all day that nothing special is going on" variety, but I guess they haven't learned anything from Zack's surprise party so long ago.

Divatox figures she'll give Justin a special gift too, and sends a bike that turns into a detonator that will explode after he bikes 25 miles. Justin (who is sad because the Rangers are all ignoring him/won't let him into the garage) assumes the bike is from his dad, and is apparently superglued to it instantly or something because he doesn't stop peddling/jump off the bike/crash into a tree like he should.

After all the Rangers leave the party set up because Dimitria actually noticed something was going on (SHOCKING) monkey!Bulk and Skull throw their own party, complete with a "Hey, hey, we're the monkees!" joke. I APPROVE.

While Tommy chases around the MOTW (named Big Burpa. Seriously) Adam, Kat and Tanya just stand there. Then they join in and chase after it some more. Then there's some more chase scenes. Justin still fails to crash into a tree. Oh, and the bike floats. When they suggest Justin stop peddling, he acts like he never thought of that, but yeah, he can't due to magic.

So Tommy summons his ZORD which starts driving and Tommy perches on the car and knocks Justin off the bike. Who was driving the Zord? If Justin was superglued to the bike, wouldn't that have seriously hurt? Who came up with this stupid plot???

They morph and fight the monster and it's really boring. Then everyone heads back to the garage, and aww, Justin's party is happening, and there's actually a bunch of kids! I guess the other people from the shelter? Bulk and Skull give Justin a banana. Justin is still sad, because his dad isn't there.

Except then his dad shows up for the party. And look, we totally understand having a breakdown after losing the wife - that makes sense. But he seems to be fairly recovered now, so why is he still leaving Justin in the shelter?

Justin needs ALL THE HUGS.

(Congrats, Justin, it only took a movie and 8 episodes to win us both over.)

Fish: 3.5 JUST JUMP OFF THE DAMN BIKE.

Episode 207 - Shift Into Turbo - Part 2

Previously on WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS - Bulk and Skull got turned into monkeys, and the Rangers are the worst friends ever. Also, it's time for them to graduate high school in their gender segregated robes.

This is going to be one of those multi-parters where they stretch it out way longer than they need to, isn't it? *checks* YEP.

I'm somehow the one who ends up commenting on theme song & costume changes. So. Theme song - I like it, QR doesn't. It's not quite as great as the original, but it's still catchy. I do miss the go go power rangers, though. :( As for the costumes, even with all of my reservations about this season, it's actually one of my favorite Ranger suit designs. It's a lot better than Zeo, anyway.

Okay, the episode. So, Adam and his awful hair are all concerned about Justin, who has not shown up to graduation. Adam, you've known Justin for 30 seconds, and he has a communicator. Stop it. So instead Adam WALKS OUT OF GRADUATION and then calls Zordon, who tells him that Justin was supposed to call if there's any trouble. Adam still has a bad feeling, so he pulls Kat and Tanya out of the ceremony right before Kat is about to give her valedictorian speech. Principal Caplan is all "... what are you three doing?" but since he totally knows they're Rangers, he lets them go and stalls until Kat can go and give her speech. I totally feel bad for the person who was talking before Kat, since they're totally ignoring her.

The Rangers barely make it into the parking lot, before Divatox shows up herself with some Pirahnatrons and there's an unmorphed fight, and it's GLORIOUS. You know JYB was thinking "THANK GOD. LAST SEASON WAS SO DULL FOR ME" because there's a ton of him showing off, and I am totally NOT complaining, although seriously, his HAIR. Adam volunteers to fight the Pirahnatrons himself, while the girls go and help Justin, and then I was randomly reminded that back in 97 I read a ton of Divatox/Adam, which I personally don't get, but it makes me sad that there is more Divatox/Adam bad and wrong fic than there is Scorpina/Adam bad and wrong fic. *pout*

Zordon calls Tommy for backup so that he can help Adam, and then all five Rangers end up at the power plant. The fight scene ends with the Rangers winning, but the detonator is still ticking. Just as I'm discussing with QR about how stupid it is that they're all looking together and they should split up, Tommy says they should split up, and man, I hate it when he agrees with me. So Adam and Tanya go off together, and so do Tommy and Kat, and Justin is sent to the Power Chamber to retrieve the Turbo Navigator so that they can find stuff.

Up in the Power Chamber, Alpha is all distracted by wormhole opening and is totally confused when Justin shows up. Yes, the wormhole is very important for them, but HI, THERE IS A FIGHT GOING ON. Stop failing so hard, Alpha and Zordon. Justin goes back with the navigator and Zordon summons Lerigot.

The Turbo Navigator finds the detonator, and Tommy plugs it into some car, which lets it explode safely or something.

Back at graduation, Kat delivers her speech and then Caplan pronounces them all graduated. They didn't walk at all! At the Youth Center, we find out Tanya has a summer internship working at a radio station, and Adam is going to be a stuntman at the amusement park.

Lt. Stone has taken charge of monkey!Bulk and Skull, and this ends with him being covered in both banana split and monkey.

Oh, and Divatox knows about the wormhole, and she's determined to prevent Zordon from going back to Eltar. To be continued...

Fish: 4.5. Honestly, if we gave this a 5, we'd have to increase the fish scale to 10!

Episode 205- A Season to Remember

For the record, this episode is entirely AU in our minds. Mkay?

So we couldn't move on to Turbo without doing this monstrosity of a holiday special. The great thing about this is? We're recapping it NOT during the holiday season this is supposed to be about. This would be a very grumpy recap indeed were I doing it anytime from October-January. But instead we're doing it really really close to Purim! Which is the best holiday EVER! So I'm HAPPY! Which made this far more tolerable than it is any other time of year.

So! We start off with an opening that pegs this as a 90's Christmas special. Blurred ornaments, a tree, close up of a Santa ornament, roaring fire, and finally an old man with The Grandson on his knee. He begins to tell The Grandson a story about his best Christmas. In Tommy's very bad old man voice.

In the Youth Center, many years prior to the previous scene (yet oddly with the same fashion sense...), everybody is setting up some sort of holiday decoration. Rocky brings in tamales made by his mother. He is looking forward to all the food. Raymond is there as the Token Jew and he has the BEST HAIR EVER. Oh Raymond, I LOVE YOU. They all miss Billy, who is apparently off at a family holiday reunion.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are being detectives wrapping presents. Skull wishes there were round wrapping paper as he's trying to wrap a bowling ball. They hide the presents quickly when Detective Stone comes in and mentions the latest caper. Skull mishears and thinks he's asking about capers and gets all excited. He wants a bagel with lox and onion. SKULL IS MY FAVOURITE. I would gift a limb for a good bagel with lox and red onion. Mmmmm. Now I'm hungry. And we're totally thinking Skull is Jewish now. Eugene Skullovitch? Could be! Bulk could be as well with the name Bulkmeier. Or he could not. But we think Power Rangers could use more than Token Jew Guest Star and Bridge so... we're going with Jewish!Skull. Anyway, they're supposed to find a missing fruitcake.

At the Power Chamber, it's all decorated for Christmas. Even the outside has lights. Zordon gives Alpha fuzzy ducky slippers. Alpha wrote a program that gives Zordon a Santa hat. WHY are they celebrating Christmas? They aren't even from Earth!

Meanwhile, Raymond is explaining Chanukah to everybody else. For all of ten seconds. He mentions the eight candles being lit, one per night, and that represents freedom for the Jews. And that is all he says, while everyone else is really patronizing with "That's really interesting" and "I had no idea there were so many different ways to celebrate.". Mkay then. On the plus side, Raymond puts on a kippah that looks just like my son's baby kippah, which he cannot wear anymore, alas. Then we get Tanya explaining Kwanzaa in great detail, which I think is awesome because usually Kwanzaa gets overlooked even more than Chanukah. Thank you, show! You win, at this part at least.

Anyway, Mondo doesn't like all this goodwill and cheer going around, so he and Sprocket decide to make everybody hate each other instead. Sprocket goes down to the Youth Center right after Ernie leaves and turns the rangers and Token Jew Raymond against each other. They start snipping and fighting. Tanya gets upset when they talk about Christmas and we get that she celebrates Kwanzaa, but it's not mutually exclusive! You can celebrate both Kwanzaa and Christmas! TANYA MOCKS TOMMY AND IT IS THE BEST EVER. And then Tommy orders Raymond to go get him a Christmas tree. Stupid Tommy. Raymond tries to leave. They're okay with that because they can't have the Jew getting in the way of their Christmas celebration. Y'know, this bit here? With the fighting and the My Holiday Is Better Than Yours and the Why Can't You All Shut Up So I Can Celebrate? THIS IS HOW REAL LIFE IS.

The only good part is there is at least some acknowledgment of Adam's history here. He is Korean-American. He snipes that not everybody even celebrates holidays at that time of year, LIKE IN KOREA. Atheist or Buddhist Adam? YES PLEASE. (and yes, I know many atheists that celebrate Christmas because they were brought up with it... I also know many that don't)

So there are no weapons that can fight this hatred. Only the kindness of their hearts can fight it. And they can't find any kindness right now. Then Sprocket steals all their stuff. A Tiny Child comes in with a poster of togetherness she wants to hang up. Everybody is still very angry at each other and are mean to the Tiny Child. Tiny Child says the greatest gift of all is love (which I agree with) and then sings a song her mother sings when she's angry or sad. Tiny Child cannot sing. The song makes no sense for the situation it's supposed to come from. It's about taking hands and being stronger. This breaks the spell. Everyone apologizes.

Bulk and Skull find a really huge fruitcake. It was made for them by Rito and Goldar. AWWWWW. That's so sweet. Skull has to call his Aunt Milly to get her to replace the missing fruitcake, because they can't take the one Rito and Goldar made for them. He uses his SHOE PHONE. SHOE PHONE PEOPLE.

At the Youth Center, they found Raymond's chanukiah. Kat asks him to show her how to light the candles. He agrees and then they walk off camera. Really? We can't even get that?

Back in Not Really Future Land, Old!Kat tells Old!Tommy to stop telling stories because it's late. Older The Grandson comes to pick up Younger The Grandson and they are clearly NOT in Angel Grove because he's brushing snow off his jacket. His "watch" beeps that old familiar calling, and he asks them to watch Younger The Grandson a little while longer. "Must run in the family". *barf*

And that's that, thank goodness it's over.

2 fish. Mostly because it's AU. Rage-inducing in a lot of places, yeah, but again... AU.

Episode 203 - Hawaii Zeo

Today on Power Rangers - Tommy is so bad at romance, it's hilarious. Seriously, Adam is better at talking to girls than he is. How the hell did Tommy get Kim and Kat to go out with him? SERIOUSLY.

Anyway, we open with a fight scene. Previous episodes have shown that this is almost never a good thing. High fight content usually equals more fish. But this time there's something different about it - Jason is having trouble fighting three cogs. But the other Rangers help, and Kat and Tommy support Jason when his powers are beginning to fail. Tommy should totally be sympathetic and honestly, I come out of the scene wanting a Tommy/Jason/Kat threesome. Up at the Power Chamber, everyone's really worried about Jason, and also there's some explanation about how Tommy hurt his face, that honestly just makes it sound like he's covering up some sort of abuse. (NGL, I would read that fic.) Zordon was apparently always secretly worried about Jason's powers. That's news to us!

While Sprocket tricks Gasket into working with him by promising to help him grow, Rocky pulls a Zack and takes advantage of Tommy watching a Pink Ranger to beat him at sparring. The others all mock Tommy for being bad at asking out girls, as Tommy tries and fails to ask out Kat. He is hilariously bad at this. Also, Tommy, don't try asking someone out in front of all your friends.

After Kat leaves, everyone mocks Tommy, and Adam is clearly thinking "DUDE, even I am smoother than that." Tanya basically tells Tommy that he's a moron, and of course Kat will go out with him, and Tommy says something about making it perfect. Of course, at this exact moment Ernie walks in, supposedly back from Hawaii, with grand plans to host a luau. Since Detective Stone's detective agency has a lot of bills, Bulk and Skull volunteer for security, and Tommy badly manages to ask Kat out to the luau. For the record, Tanya has clearly had a conversation with Kat beforehand as she's pretty blatantly encouraging him.

At the luau, everyone moves to sit with Tommy and Kat, but Tanya is just all "DO I NEED TO THINK OF EVERYTHING?" and moves them to another table. Bulk and Skull are in horribly offensive supposedly "native" costumes, and Tanya and Ernie both call them out for being awful. Good job, show!

Ernie calls for volunteers, and when Tanya asks him to, Adam dances. Of course, they are quickly interrupted by Cogs doing the hula, which is AMAZING. Gasket and Archerina grow, and Jason handles the hula cogs while the other Rangers all summon the Zords. Of course, they still need help, so Alpha remotely summons the other Zords. The Rangers look like they destroy Gasket and Archerina, except for some reason they only shrink, and then they run away when Mondo shows up. Too bad.

Ernie is planning another luau, and he's happy that someone cleaned up everything. (The other Rangers are so great.) Tommy and Kat show up, looking very happy. Apparently they went to a dinner and the movie date. Tommy calls the date boring. Kat, that's totally grounds for dumping him. Seriously, Tommy is the worst boyfriend ever.

Bulk and Skull show up, and they still have the ink on their faces from the bad stereotypes. Oh, BOYS. *bangs head on wall repeatedly*

Fish: 4. Gasket and Archerina aren't destroyed WHY?

Episode 180 - Song Sung Yellow

It's the Adam/Tanya show, live from Angel Grove!

I love this episode so freaking much. We begin with a music video for a song (sung by Tanya) that I actually kinda like. QR was mocking my taste, but when you've seen this episode as many times as I have, the song seriously starts to grow on you. It turns out that the video was directed by Adam, but frankly, even though they talk about how great it is and how he'll be a great director one day, he shouldn't quit his day job. (Speaking of how adorable Adam/Tanya is, Tanya says he's already a great director! Clearly, she is blinded by her love for him.)

Seriously, that video looks like one of the awful videos that plays at the karaoke place I visit when I'm home in New York. Or the most cheestastic bad 90s video. (If you look at it that way, it's pretty amazing.)

And Nakia has a great voice, so at least there's that!

Anyway, it turns out that they're screening the video at the Youth Center, and Tommy has been staring intently at it. They ask what's up, and Tommy says he thought he saw something, so they pause the video, and there's a Cog in the background.

.... Are they seriously suggesting that the Rangers filmed this video and didn't notice anything, and then spent hours editing it and still didn't notice? But TOMMY notices while watching the video for the first time? That is ridiculous. Everyone wonders how often the Cogs have been watching them.

Anyway, Ernie gives them some more free food, and it turns out that before this, the Youth Center was closed on the weekends, but now they're going to be open. Billy suggests that Tanya should get to sing Saturday nights, and Tanya is excited to be performing in front of a live audience for the first time. This leads to my personal fanon that when Tanya wins her first grammy, she thanks Ernie for letting her make a fool of herself on that stage. ♥ ♥ ♥

While the Rangers are setting up, the Cogs steal everything, and they completely fail to notice. They are so oblivious, it's ridiculous. What the hell was Zordon doing during all this? The Rangers chase after the cogs (after Rocky is done accusing Tommy of losing all of it) and there's a ridiculous fight that ends with a Cog getting pied. It's pretty awesome.

Of course, it turns out that it's Sprocket's Bar Mitzvah! He's going to become a man! Mazel Tov, Sprocket! Of course, to become a man he has to destroy the Rangers, so.... ahahahaha.

On a side note, how much do I love that the early villains mostly just exist to screw with the Rangers? It's so ridiculous, I love it.

Meanwhile, at Lt Stone's detective agency, Bulk and Skull are playing ping pong for the rights to be champion of the milky way and to rule as he sees fit. Sadly, before we find out who gets to rule the galaxy, Lt. Stone shows up, setting off the alarm system that they'd set off. I love them so much. It turns out that they have their first case, and it's to investigate a phony record producer. How much do I love this? Also, Skull uses the word scoundrels. Amazing.

At the Youth Center, Tanya is performing the same song, and when she finishes, she and Adam hug! Yay! Producer Vincent Nova shows up to tell Tanya she was awesome, and gives her a card and basically says he'll offer her a deal. She gives him a copy of the music video. She's all excited, and then people ask for her autograph. How adorable!!!!!

Bulk and Skull spy on the producer, which involves Bulk getting covered in garbage.

At school, Tanya is all excited about getting the contract, and her friends are all excited about it, but they do remind her that she'll have to quit school and stop Rangering if she goes. This would have been a great time to bring up Kimberly and point out that it isn't the first time someone has left the Rangers to follow a dream, but they don't bring it up.

The next Saturday, Tanya is singing again (a different song this time!) and the producers are watching her! The Rangers all get called away when a monster attacks, but Tommy gestures for Tanya to stay and finish her song. That's actually really sweet of him. You go, Tommy! Anyway, there's a fight scene and the Rangers win even without Tanya, and the only important thing is that Kat's individual weapon is totally a kamehameha! Epic. Sprocket gets to become a man anyway.

Later, the producers are talking to Tanya about limos and things, when Bulk and Skull burst in to try and save Tanya from a fake producer. She tells them that she's turned them down, and they tell her that a) she would have been an awesome diva and b) they'll wait for a talent like hers. She totally signs the contract the day she stops being a Ranger. Also, she lets Bulk and Skull know that they're real producers, and the two chase after the producers in the hopes of getting a deal.

Tanya tells her friends that she figured out what was really important - them. And school. And being a Ranger. But of course, she can sing any time. Kim was doing something that was way more dependent on age.

In conclusion - Tanya is awesome, and she and Adam are adorable. Also, Tanya grows up to win a bunch of Grammys and probably an Oscar for best song. I am also totally writing fic about this.

Fish - 2! Just for the nonsense with the cogs at the beginning.

Fic we want - All the schmoopy Adam/Tanya in the world. And you know, Tanya and her recording contract. :D

Episode 179- Bulk Fiction

OMG YOU GUYS! THIS EPISODE YOU GUYS! I want to give it milk and cookies and snuggle it close forever and ever.

Bulk is in LOVE, guys! He and Skull are chasing a remote controlled car, because it's speeding you see, when Lt. Stone introduces the newest cadet. Her name is Connie and she is the Captain's daughter. Skull thinks she's a little weird. But Bulk? Bulk has a HUGE crush already. It's adorable!

They chase the car back to the Youth Center, where they give Billy a ticket for driving it over the speed limit. He says he was just testing it out before donating it to the kids toy charity. There is a dance that night and the admission is a donated toy. Good idea, actually!

Meanwhile, Sprocket throws a temper tantrum because he wants a new toy too. So Mondo makes a new toy and he gets to take it down and mess with the rangers.

So Bulk wants to woo this new girl. Skull suggests he go to a love expert and the first person he thinks of is Tanya. Aw, Bulk asking Tanya for love advice! She tells him to be himself but poor Bulk just doesn't have the confidence. So he asks Tanya what she likes in a guy and she says sophistication. Bulk thinks he can do that! He attempts to be English with an intentionally not-so-good accent, old slang, and a pot of tea. Aw, Bulk, you'd totally win me over with that one! The Captain intervenes, however, and says there will be no fraternizing, particularly with his daughter. Poor Bulk.

So Billy is almost finished with the Zeo Cannon, but he has to get a part from his garage lab. Instead of teleporting there and back, as he's done many times before, he walks home and back. I suppose he wanted the exercise and sunshine? Anyway, he's running the remote controlled car again when Cogs attack. He, of course, outwits them using the car and his device, because he's Billy and he's AWESOME and this TOTALLY counts as an unmorphed fight. Because he defeats 6 cogs, the monster, AND SPROCKET all on his own without being a ranger, using only his brains. Smart is SO SEXY, you guys. He hightails it back to the Power Chamber (though he asks Alpha to teleport him to the Command Center, heeeee) where he finishes his Zeo Cannon.

Meanwhile, Rocky mocks Tommy. It is awesome. He wouldn't be all mushy and write poetry! Of course not! (and now I totally want fic where he runs home and writes a million sappy poems to Adam, even though he knows Adam is dating Tanya now, because Rocky loves him and can't move on... I have a thing... sorry)

This gives Bulk and idea and he writes a poem for Connie. He and Skull show up AS BEATNIKS to woo her. BEATNIKS! I love this show so much. He wrote her the most awesome poem ever and if he hadn't had me at the fake English, he'd totally have me with the offbeat poetry. SHE IS THE MISSING SOCK IN HIS LAUNDRY PILE YOU GUYS! SUNNY SKIES AND WINDY WIND! *hearts explode everywhere* I'm totally doing the big googly anime eyes, too.

Unfortunately the Captain doesn't like this so much. He fires Lt. Stone and Bulk and Skull leave the force with him because they totally love their fake!Daddy.

Then there is a fight with the rangers and the monster and the Zeo Cannon which gets handed straight to Tommy even though they all have to use it. Either Billy really likes Tommy or he keeps hoping one of his devices will backfire and explode, taking Tommy out in the process and leaving his morpher free for Billy to assume the role of leader. Me? I lean towards the latter. Far far FAR towards the latter. Anyway, they monster grows and they're all SHOCKED! Shocked, I tell you. I still don't know why. Anyway, they beat the monster with the sword, as if we didn't see that coming.

At the dance, they're all dressed as their favourite decade. Billy is way, way into the future. Tanya is a flapper. Kat picked the 50s. Adam is the 60s. Rocky is the 70s. Tommy comes strutting in with an epic entrance and totally shows up Rocky. Rocky is NOT HAPPY. Lt. Stone is Sherlock Holmes while Bulk and Skull are policemen. It's adorable. They agree to open up a detective business with Lt. Stone.

Connie comes in and Bulk starts to apologize for the way he acted. She shushes him and tells him there is no need. Her father is overprotective and she quit the force, which she only joined to please her dad, so she can be with Bulk. She asks him to dance and he says he'd like that and they go dance and I EXPLODE FROM TEH CUTE! Seriously, most adorable thing EVER on Power Rangers.

1.5 fish. It was low fish! Mostly because Billy was so damn sexy while he was being so damn smart. And Bulk being in love with somebody who appreciates him as well is ALWAYS 100% AWESOME!

Fic we want: TSB demands a Watchmen AU where Billy is Ozymandias.
I just want Rocky writing sappy and Emo-rific love poetry for Adam. He totally should have gone as the 80s. He'd make a really hot Robert Smith... Okay, somebody needs to write that for me. I need this fic like I've never needed any other.

(I should totally mention that it was hard to decide if I should go with John Travolta Walk of Epicness or BeeGees Stayin Alive video of Epic Hair and Tight Pants for Tommy... so I went with both. And if the comments turned into a Cure video linking lovefest... well... it just might make my week)

Episode 145 - I'm Dreaming of a White Ranger

Hey, it's Kim!

Wait, what is she doing here? Kim is in Florida! (Although it is really nice to see her. Kim!)

Ok, we know that a lot of fandom is under the impression that Kim has come back from Florida to spend Christmas with the Rangers, leading to approximately 87,000 Tommy/Kim fics from this time period and it's referenced in every single fic ever that deals with the breakup about how everything was fine at Christmas and she didn't mention any other guy, and you know what?

Because this episode takes place before she goes to Florida. Air date orders are weird but we had a long discussion (read: rant) about it during the episode, and we came to the decision that it is a flashback. It's still better than the other Christmas episodes. (One day, Queenriley and I will hang out, have a lot to drink and recap Alpha's Magical Christmas. This is not that day.)

So! It's time for the Holiday Special! Mostly Christmas, but they remember that Hannukah exists! (No other holidays are celebrated in Angel Grove.) The episode begins with Aisha conducting a choir of tiny children who can't lip sync, while Kimberly plays the guitar.

Somewhere in the background, Ashley is standing at a crafts table behind some guy.

The party at the youth center is apparently to help the underprivileged kids in Angel Grove. In Angel Grove speak, this apparently means that sometimes parents are too busy working to attend a kid's recital.

Tommy walks in with a poinsettia. Then he notices our inappropriately young friend of the week, so he asks her to help him. She can't act. She really can't act.

Kim has a sad. This is her first Christmas away from her mom, but she's really glad that she's staying with Aisha. Aww, they are such BFF, I love them.

Bulk and Skull come in, and we find out that they're going to be Santa and helper for the party. That is adorable! Bulk will make a great Santa. Although he seems to be seriously lacking in Christmas spirit.

Kim is trying to jump to hang up the mistletoe. Kim, honey, there's this thing called a ladder. We short people have to use one. Of course, that would prevent Tommy from coming to her rescue, and we can't have that. Tommy leans in to kiss Kim, when Skull walks by, interposes himself between Kim and Tommy, and kisses Kim on the cheek.

My Skull/Kim shipper heart is torn between thinking that is adorable and being really pissed at Skull for kissing her without permission. I am leaning towards being pissed at him. Not acceptable, Skull! Bulk also clearly considers kissing Kim, but a glare from Tommy stops him.

Up on the moon, Zedd is ranting about the evils of Christmas. Considering that Zedd has already been coded as Jewish once before, this has... really unfortunate implications. Especially when his plan to destroy Christmas apparently consists of sending evil dreidels down to brainwash children.

Hey, marketing department? If you want to start selling evil dreidels, I will totally buy one.

Plus, we get to find out that not only does Batman exist in Angel Grove, but so does Santa. (As Santa also exists in the DCU, I should not be surprised.) Man, kids in Angel Grove must need serious therapy. On the other hand, the parents have some seriously amazing threats to work with to get kids to eat veggies.

A bunch of the tiny children sing O Hannukah, except for the inappropriately young friend, who also has a sad. As previously mentioned, all she wants for Christmas is for her dad to come hear her sing. He is too busy working. Kim gives her advice on how to handle her dad (tell him how much she loves him so that he'll come watch her show! Because he has no way of knowing otherwise!)

And um, I'm not really sure if the show considered how it looks to have Kim solving the problems of an African American family? But it's a little bit on the fail side.

Up at the North Pole, we have the most annoying elves ever. Rito shows up and ties up Santa, and informs the Elves that they will all make Evil Dreidels instead. The main elf has a really annoyingly high pitched voice. It's awful.

Tommy and Kim are about to kiss under the mistletoe when Zordon calls. Hey, Zordon just cockblocked Tommy and Kim! That totally makes this episode worth it. The Rangers all head to the Command Center where Zordon explains the problem, and everyone is horrified that Santa is being messed with. Then Zordon spouts some nonsense about a cross current of holiday magic up at the North Pole will prevent them from morphing, but they decide to go anyway.

They are all seriously underdressed for the North Pole, even if Aisha pulled a jacket out of thin air. Rocky complains that he's cold. Don't worry, Rocky! Adam and Aisha will be glad to warm you up.

Santa is tied up in the center of the workshop with a giant bow stuck in his mouth. Everyone is concerned about Santa. This is ridiculous.

Back in Angel Grove, inappropriately young friend tells Bulk and Skull that Kimberly is missing. They pat her on the head and tell her not to worry. She is clearly not buying it.

The Rangers figure out that if they can't use their powers, then neither can Rito. Because apparently only good can win here at the North Pole? But in that case, why can't the Rangers morph? And how did Rito win in the first place?

The fight in this episode might be the most amazing thing ever. Kim and Aisha recruit the annoying elves to help, and then they lure Rito outsider. (Goldar has joined them for some reason). Did I mention that Rito is wearing a santa hat? Because it's awesome.

And then the Rangers beat them in a snowball fight. This might actually be the greatest thing ever. SNOWBALL FIGHT. And then they chase them into the workshop and the elves scatter marbles on the floor and they tie them up. This is possibly the most ridiculous thing ever. I love it. Rito and Goldar get tied up, and then returned to the moon. Why the Rangers don't just destroy them, I have no idea. (Right. Kids show. Destroying monsters of the week = ok, killing Goldar and Rito = not.)

Then the Rangers help Santa finish making presents. I think some other stuff might have happened in this scene, but Adam had suspenders that were falling off him and it was really hot and possibly there was a lot of capslock.

On the moon, Rito gave Goldar a present, and I ship those two so much it's ridiculous.

At the Youth Center, Bulk is actually a fairly good Santa! And Skull is his reindeer! Some really greedy kid has a whole list of stuff he wants, including an autographed picture of the Rangers. Don't we all, tiny child. Don't we all.

The Rangers all come in and pass out the toys that Santa gave them.

Inappropriately young friend's father shows up, and he tells her he loves her and will spend time with her, and then tells her that they should have hot chocolate, but she tells him to hold on so she can go thank Santa for getting her dad to come. Bulk's heart grows three sizes larger and he returns all the presents and oops, wait, wrong story!

Speaking of parents, Kim's mom and the step-artist show up as well. They got a last minute flight. Awww.

They sing one final Christmas Carol, and then break the fourth wall to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

Fish: 2.5. Holiday magic, what?

Fic we want: How the Bulk stole Christmas. SERIOUSLY.

Episode 142- Master Vile and the Metallic Armour Part 3

Oh show. The opening once Kat joins has always SEEMED very Kat heavy, but I wasn't sure if it was just a bias or if it really was skewed THAT far in her favour. So today I checked. Breaking it down shot by shot we have:
1 shot each- Zedd, Goldar, zords, Bulk and Skull, and Toy (now with pasted on fire, yay!)
2 shots- Rocky (the only two being his morphing shot and his name/character title shot) and the logo
3 shots each- Rita, Rito (with Tengas), Billy, Aisha, and Adam (counting their morhping and title shots)
5 shots- morphed team (two of which are shark cycle shots, so not the whole team), Tommy (two with Kat and counting his morphing and title shots)
and coming in at a whopping 8 UNMORPHED shots- Kat. Yes, that's EIGHT shots for her, and I'm NOT including the two shots she has with Tommy. So, if we add those two shots into her grand total (as I did with Tommy), she comes in at a whole TEN shots of the opening sequence. Ten. And people wonder where we get the idea that this season had a weeeee bit of a Kat bias?

Anyway, onto the episode.

This really didn't need to be a three parter. No, it really really didn't. This so could have been resolved last episode. So. We start out with the rangers in the Command Center being all weak and power-drained. Poor Rocky is almost falling over from lack of energy. Zordon pulls out his Magic Power Restoration Fish and zaps them all so they regain their energy.

At the Youth Center, there is much dancing! And monsters showing up for the party! And the Vulva Monster arrives in a limo! Bulk and Skull are dancing, as are a few other humans. There's a guy at a dj table and kids are taking orders and serving food. Either this is a whooolllleeee lot of "under a spell" or Angel Grove residents are just really desensitized to monsters by this point. We vote for the latter. Master Vile throws the BEST parties ever.

Back at the Command Center, the rangers need to wait for their sparklepowers metallic armour to recharge. Billy thinks he can hurry it along, but he needs Adam and Aisha's help. The others demorph and go to the Youth Center to keep an eye on the party. Bulk and Skull are surprised to see them, assuming they'd been lost the whole time. But they're not worried. They are SURE the Rangers will come back and save them. Because they have faith in the Power Rangers and are just awesome like that. Goldar interrupts and once again wonders why he bothers since Tommy isn't Jason and really makes a poor substitute. Mostly he just talks about how they own the Earth now and the Rangers can't save the humans, though. Frankly, they've barely taken Angel Grove. The only way taking ONE city would constitute ruling the whole world is if we're talking RPM and that one city is Corinth. But then, Venjix had killed all the other billions of people on Earth before trying to take Corinth, so that one city really WAS all of Earth at that point. ANYWAY! I digress.

They make their way back to the Command Center where Zordon tells them they need to go to another planet in another galaxy to get the zords back. The atmosphere is highly corrosive to metal so they can't use their metallic armour there, but are determined to try. They find some heavily corroded zords and Billy says they need to find the podiatal emergency egress. He clarifies it's the Big Toe Emergency Exit and starts blasting away at the corroded and unstable zord. He finds the door and Rocky charges in first. They climb a ladder and manage to fire some lasers which destroy a building... a building that appears to be in Angel Grove and NOT on the deserted distant planet in another galaxy they happen to be on. Uh... what? The fish are working their powers here and confuse the heck out of me. It... really doesn't work that way.

Moving on! So they find the engine room and the Zeo Crystal and manage to break Master Vile's connection to the crystal by clutching their stomachs and grunting a lot. The Rangers go to Earth and Master Vile sends his goo monster thing to beat them. The zords (all clean and corrosion free now! darn those fish and their effective cleaning procedures!) show up and they fight for awhile, even though the goo monster is still tied into Ninjors powers. Alpha waits until they are close to losing and then pushes a few buttons to break Master Vile's spell of darkness, which breaks his hold on Ninjor and weakens the monster enough to be destroyed. Alpha apparently has a flair for the dramatic. So they win and drive Master Vile away.

But he's determined to beat them eventually and then yells at Rita a lot. MAJOR family issues there. Wow.

In order to keep the Zeo crystals from falling into the wrong hands again, the rangers break the crystal into five pieces and scatter them. Zordon has built a TARDIS created a temporary hole in time and space.

With things all settled down, the rangers are back with Lt. Stone and Bulk and Skull on their horseback riding outing. They gallop off and Kat looks semi-comfortable (though she's sitting English style in a Western saddle which CAN'T be comfortable) and Skull still looks like the only experienced horseman in the bunch.

Fish: 4.5 The fish were the only thing that DID make sense in this episode
Billy speak: "We have to find the podiatal emergency egress."
"It seems the layer of corrosion is much thicker than I anticipated."

Episode 141 - Master Vile and the Metallic Armor Part 2

Hi! I am back from Morphicon where I got some important pieces of my personal fanon confirmed (Aisha becomes a politician, y'all. I win at life) and got to listen to Catherine Sutherland complain about how all she did was scream for Tommy. I love this ridiculous show and that absolutely amazing con. But you aren't here for my con report, you're here for a recap. SO.

Previously, on Power Rangers - The Rangers become Sparklepires. This somehow makes Tommy even more stupid than usual.

So, the episode begins with the Shogunzord getting the crap kicked out of it. Poor Shogunzord. It's only been a few episodes since we got you! And they're all abandoning it for the other Ninjazords, which I like way better than the Shogunzords anyway. The Rangers all hope that Tommy and Kat are doing their job.

Oh, poor delusional Rangers. Up on the moon, Kat is not doing that good a job at pretending to be evil this time, I guess since her natural self is all pure and good and all that. Rita and Zedd don't really believe her, so they decide to put her in a reverse caring meter which will turn her completely evil. Instead of Tommy going off to go get the crystal, he just stands there watching Kat and not doing anything. Because he is a moron. Either go rescue her immediately and forget the plan, or go do your damn job! Luckily, Zordon sees fit to inform Tommy that if they find the Zeo Crystal it will suck the evil from her, so no big deal! Yay plot device!

Tommy goes into the caves where he is confronted by the other Rangers who claim that Master Vile has won, and they were spared along with their families if they stop fighting. You guys, I want the AU where this is true. *puppy dog eyes* Obviously, Tommy realizes that this is a test and ignores them (as Rangers don't give up. Insert bitchy comment about the OO team here and keeps going. Hmm. Illusions. he's then confronted by evil Kat and Rita, but he also realizes that these are illusions, and ignores them.

THEN Kat shows up and claims she escaped because she didn't think he was ok, and that made me laugh a whole lot. She tells him to attack Master Vile who is standing by the Zeo Crystal, but Tommy isn't sure, and somehow that shows it's another illusion. Then Tommy goes up to get the crystal, and fake!Kat reminds him that he's evil and we get a glorious flashback to Green With Evil, but it is countered by his awesomeness of being the White Ranger, or some nonsense like that. So he manages to get the crystal.

For the record, if they needed a truly GOOD Ranger, they should have used one of the SCT. Or KAT. Her whole thing is that she's pure and good!

So Tommy gets the crystal and sucks the evil from Kat and then steals the Falconzord, and we get the world's longest freaking fight scene. The Rangers are all losing and they're getting the shit kicked out of them and Tommy and his falconzord shows up. They appear to be defeating the monster, except then it combines with Ninjor's powers (if you count the N on its chest and the shoulder pads) and starts draining their energy again. The Rangers have angst about how they can't hurt Ninjor, and they get beaten up, and longest freaking fight scene ever, I really do not care. Am I a bad fan if I really don't watch this for the Megazord fights? Because I don't. Bored now.

On the bright side, then they fall out of the Zords and Rocky's falling noises are hilarious.

The Rangers decide to Sparklepire up or activate their Twilight Armor or unleash their inner Edward Cullen. Tommy mentions that they should hurry up since they left the Zeo Crystal in the Zord. TOMMY. YOU IDIOT.

Master Vile shows up and thanks him for getting the crystal for him. The Rangers use their remaining power to dazzle the monster and make it run away, but they are pretty much out of power.

HOWEVER, there is one good point to the episode. Bulk and Skull show up at Ernie's, and Ernie asks why they're outside since the monster sirens have gone off. (Yet Ernie is outside sweeping, because he's that awesome.) Except they get interrupted by the arrival of all the monsters, who are ready to Party at the Youth Center! They all dance the conga and it is amazing.

So yeah, the episode ends and everyone is worried about losing. But MONSTER PARTY. Awesome!

Fish: 4.5 RIDICULOUS.

Fic I want: MASTER VILE WINS! and the Rangers give up! Best AU ever!

Note: As of now, we are not moving to dreamwidth. We do have an account there, but we're not moving in the immediate future. (Ask us again next week.)

Episode 136 - A Different Shade of Pink Part 3

Before the recap, a little bit of housekeeping. We are hopefully going to settle into a Wednesday/Saturday schedule for the recaps. However! I will be going to Morphicon in 2 weeks, and the weekend after that is Dragon*Con, so... who knows when we're going to update? It should be interesting, anyway.

If you're at Morphicon, you should come find me and say hi!

Anyway. Previously, on Power Rangers - Amy Jo Johnson uses these last few episodes to audition for ER, and Rita wants to send Ninjor as a message in a bottle.

The episode opens with the Rangers angsting about the choice they've been given - they can hand over Kat or Ninjor will be drowned. Zordon says that this is the toughest choice they've ever faced. Really? What about the time they had to choose between their power coins or the teens at the world peace conference? Or their coins or their parents? Basically, they have been in this situation before.

Up on the moon, Zedd and Rita are bickering. The honeymoon is over. Awww. And on Earth, Kat is showing how she is ridiculously insightful, as we get another long explanation of her backstory. It's really touching, and Kat clearly knows what is best for Kim as she gets her to admit to being scared. Then she runs off to go offer to sacrifice herself to save Ninjor, and Queenriley and I both start shipping Rocky/Kat at the same time.

In the park, the Rangers bring Kat to trade for Ninjor. However, they have Kat protected in a force field, and Rita cheated anyway - no Ninjor in the jar. There's a nice fight scene, until one of the Tengas breaks the force field projected, and Kat gets kidnapped. And she screams for Tommy. :( :( :( Billy is blaming himself for Kat being captured. Awww.

Up on the moon, Zedd and Rita decide that they're going to throw Kat in the jar with Ninjor and wash them both out in the Sea of Sorrows, except they can't do anything until the tide comes in. So Kat is locked up in a cell, where she tries to steal the keys from Squatt and Baboo. She almost succeeds, but the guard changes. She massages Rito (making an amazing face in the process) until he falls asleep, and she escapes. She grabs the pink power coin (in a glowing pink box) which alerts Alpha that the coin is in the hands of good again. Kat taunts Rita for a bit, until she's teleported out by Billy's amazing insta-tech. Kim is very glad to have her coin back.

At Angel Grove community pool, a stunt person who is supposed to be Kat does an awesome dive, showing Kim that conquering your fears is possible. Kim decides to participate in the competition, and does an awesome job. Also, Aisha clings to Rocky. This important for everyone. Kim's routine is pretty great, and she gets a high schore. At the youth center, Ernie throws her a party, and the coach offers her a spot at his gym in Florida so he can train her properly for the Pan Globals.

This is not an offer you turn down.

At the Command Center, Kim tells the other Rangers she isn't going to accept because she has her responsibilities as a Ranger, and they all encourage her to go. Zordon even tells her that when she comes back she will be a greater Ranger than before. WHEN SHE COMES BACK. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Even Tommy encourages her, and some of my objections to the ship fade away, because he's being ridiculously sweet.

Kim was clearly hoping that the Rangers would tell her to go, because she had made arrangements for Kat to take over if they'd convinced her to go. The power is transferred to Kat, and really, there needs to be so much more Kim/Kat fic in the world. Make it happen!

Also, Adam wonders if Kat is really free of the spell, and then there is epic sadface on my part. Adam! Not cool! Especially when TOMMY is on the team. JUST SAYING.

Fish: 1.5. Only because we aren't sure why Rita just didn't grab Kat in her sleep.

Fic we want: KAT/KIM. And Kat/Rocky!

Episode 127 - The Potion Notion

After the fail that was the last episode, we make up for it with the rarest of creatures, the ONE FISH episode. You guys, this episode was adorable and we love it and SO AWESOME. Whenever we need to be happy, this is going to be one of the episodes we watch.

(In case you were ever wondering about the difference between me and - she rewrites the recaps so that all the caps are removed, while I just go CAPS YAY!)

So, the episode begins with Bulk and Skull trying to butter up Tommy and Kim by saying how adorable they are. Turns out that they are trying to sell tickets for the Junior Policeman Ball. Tommy and Kim think this is a great idea, and Tommy buys tickets. Awww. Basically, Bulk and Skull are adorable, and Tommy and Kim are being really cute together. And you know my opinions on Tommy/Kim.

Up on the moon, it appears that being really cute is the theme of the episode, as Rita and Zedd are preparing for their second honeymoon. Goldar is acting like he's going to be sick, but we think that they're cute! Zedd tells Goldar that he's in charge and that Finster's monster had better be ready by the time they get back. When Rito goes to check on it, he finds out that Rita put a love spell on Zedd, and he sends the Cupid Monster thing down to Earth to spread looooooooove. And, you know, cause chaos.

Kim is the first victim of our invisible cupid monster, as she immediately falls in love with Skull. She plays lovestruck REALLY well. We feel really bad for Skull, because this is not the first time this has happened, but it is so adorable. Especially the look on Tommy and Bulk's face as Kim starts talking about how wonderful Skull is. *SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS SHIPS*

The next victim is Lieutenant Stone, who falls for Ms. Applebee. Hey, it's another pairing I can TOTALLY get behind. ADORABLE.

Bulk is mocking Skull for what Kimberly was saying, when he gets hit with the spell, and falls for Aisha, who immediately thinks something is up. The Rangers all gather in the park, and Aisha asks if they noticed anything weird, and Tommy points to Kim. Billy wonders if it's a spell. GEE, YOU THINK?

The Tengas and Goldar show up, and there's a fight, and Kim is all "MUST PROTECT SKULL" and then they head back up to the Command Center, where Kimberly ponders different variations of her name with Skulls, and has a whispered conversation with Aisha that may or may not be about how she hooked up with Skull in the janitor's closet.

On Serpenterra, apparently Rito failed to charge the batteries, so Rita and Zedd are heading home. Goldar finds out that Rita had placed Zedd under a spell. Uh oh. Finster has to go around cancelling the love spell on everyone on Earth (including on Principal Caplan, who was also hitting on Ms Applebee.)

Poor Skull is sad when Kim runs back to Tommy. :( Aww, Skull. Don't worry, you'll find someone eventually!

Up on the moon, Rita accidentally gets hit with the love spell, and she falls for Goldar, who is freaked out. Finster quickly cancels it, and then Goldar tells Zedd that Rita had put him under the spell and Finster cancels it. but Zedd STILL LOVES RITA and makes Goldar apologize. ADORABLE.

Later, at the police dance, the BOYS ARE WEARING SUITS. SUITS. You may have noticed how we feel about this, but it is something AWESOME. AND THEN. Kim feels horrible about what she did to Skull so she goes to dance with him and tells him that they're friends, and it is the CUTEST THING EVER.

Aisha and Billy go off to dance, Ms. Applebee dances with Lt. Stone, and Rocky hits on some random girl, and then Adam and Tommy make out in a corner. I may have made that last part up. OR DID I?

Fish: ONE. CUTEST EPISODE EVER!!!!

Fic we want: SKULL/KIM. Also, Adam and Rocky being under the spell and not noticing.

Episode 89 - Goldar's Vice-Versa

Warning - potential triggers

Oh my God, you guys, I love this episode so much. I have so much fanon in regards to this episode, and I'm going to do my best to try and keep all of my ridiculous theories (Scorpina/Adam! Adam/Rocky/Aisha!poly relationship) to the point that they aren't entirely overwhelming the recap. Since you know, there's an actual plot. (Switching with wouldn't help, because I have just as much headcanon for Mirror of Regret.)

Anyway, we get a new opening, and there is much flailing as we take in the shots of the Stone Canyon Trio, and then some booing as we note that THAT SHOT of Kim is still in the opening. If I had any skill of editing vids, I would totally redo this opening so that the whole Kim fainting thing was not in there. But sadly I don't.

The actual episode begins, and apparently Rocky stole a pair of Jason's pants. Well, that isn't the important thing. The important thing is that Rocky and Adam are sparring, and I love them both so much. Seriously, so pretty. I would watch 22 minutes of them sparring.

Sadly, the demonstration is quickly over, and Billy shows up, and Adam and Rocky are disappointed that he missed their demonstration. Billy apologizes, saying he had a meeting with the vice-versa dance committee. Wait, Billy is on a dance committee? Really? Shouldn't that be Kim?

While we're boggling at that, Rocky explains the concept of a vice-versa dance, saying it's nice that the girls have to ask the guys. (Oh, honey, please stop trying to act. You're so lucky you're pretty.) We don't know why they didn't use the term Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Rocky says he's been invited to go by Jessica Peterson, who will never be mentioned again. Adam is sad, because nobody asked him to go to the dance and he doesn't expect anyone to. It is entirely possible that my response was "Oh honey, I would go to the dance with you." It is entirely possible that there were more caps involved. Billy tells him to cheer up, because nobody has asked him yet either. Cue an appearance of Laura from that really boring episode involving the Angelettes or whatever. We liked Marge much better. She asks Billy to the dance, and he is pleased. So tactless, Billy.

Bulk and Skull are hiding from the amazing female bullies, who want to ask them to the dance. We absolutely love the female bullies. Do they have names? Is there fic about them? We would like them a lot better if the show didn't show some fatphobia again, but we're going to ignore that, to go back to the drama about Adam's love life, which I find way more interesting.

Adam is still sulking about not having a date. But honestly, he just moved to Angel Grove a week before, so it isn't that unreasonable, especially since he's really shy. And since Aisha never has a date in this episode, I maintain that the only reason he doesn't ask her is because he and Rocky have both agreed not to, and Aisha seems really invested in finding him a date.

Up on the moon, Zedd has decided that HE will find a date for Adam. You know, Zedd's matchmaking service would actually be pretty awesome. I'm really not quite sure what his plan is, but in my head it basically goes "Have Adam hook up with Scorpina. Seduce Adam to dark side. Profit." Of course, the show fails in execution, but it is still so awesome that I don't even care.

The next day, Aisha (in a really adorable little yellow dress. The fashion is so much better this season) shows up at Adam's locker to ask Adam if he's found a date yet. He says no, and he'll probably just stay home and read. (I love that he's a bookworm. Also, so adorable. Also, they were so about to kiss.) Aisha tells him that is not acceptable, and asks if he knows Sarah Diaz. He says yes, she's on the volleyball team, and he is then instructed (Aisha is very good at bossing him around) to go to the park after school, and Sarah will ask him to the dance.

Meanwhile, over at Skull's locker, Bulk is all excited because someone slipped a note in his locker, telling him to meet after school, as the note writer has what he is looking for. Bulk asks Skull (who is inexplicably wearing an eyepatch) if he knows what this means, and Skull rightly says that someone has his locker combination. Bulk instead points out that it means that someone knows the true identities of the Power Rangers!

After school, Adam looks at Sarah from atop a hill, trying to work up the courage to talk to her. He starts listing things about her "pretty, smart, athletic" and he seems calm enough, until he gets to "female" and then he panics. Oh, Adam. We know, you wanted to go with Rocky. Zedd is horrified, because if Adam gets a date, it will ruin everything. So he sends down a giant group of putties, and man, JYB is really good at this. This was an awesome unmorphed fight scene. There should be more of these. By the time Adam is done dusting all the putties, Sarah is gone, and he is sad.

At the school, Bulk and Skull nervously look out the door of detention, only to see the female bullies are standing there. They are both terrified, and they decide that they would rather not know the true identities of the Power Rangers than face the girls. Instead, they go out the window.

Later, Adam is sitting at a table, bitching to Kim and Aisha about his girl problems. I would totally read an entire fic of the three of them gossiping about their boy problems, why doesn't this exist yet? Kim is sympathetic, but then leaves, and there's a minor commotion, because there is a martial artist who is doing something, and you know how Angel Grove feels about martial arts! Adam and Aisha both fail to recognize the girl, and therefore assume that she's new, even though they've only been in Angel Grove for a week or so.

After she's done performing, the girl walks directly to Adam, introduces herself as Sabrina, and then shoves her gym bag in Aisha's face. She says she's new, and then goes on to compliment Adam's martial arts skills, in a blatant attempt to get in his pants. However, she's made one fatal miscalculation, and she's annoyed Aisha. Really, Scorpina should know - if you Adam's lover, you gotta get with his friends. Adam is totally taken in by her. He makes plans to go on a hike with Sabrina, but since Aisha doesn't seem convinced that she's acceptable, Adam invites her to go along.

Look, the thing is, this is a date. Adam is going on a date with Sabrina. And he invites Aisha along. There are only four possibilities here. 1-Adam is unaware this is a date. 2-Adam is too clueless to see that bringing along Aisha on a date is completely unacceptable behavior. Possibly because he's new to the idea of dating girls 3-Adam and Aisha (and Rocky) are in an open relationship that has all sorts of rules, one of them being that Aisha and Rocky have to approve all other potential partners. #4 Adam and Rocky were dating, but are just too nervous to go to a dance together, and that Aisha just wants both of her boys to be happy. (I would totally read fic about ideas #3 and #4)

While this drama is going on, Ernie hands Bulk and Skull a note saying that "We still have what you've been looking for" and that instructs them to wait five minutes. But almost immediately, the female bullies come in, and Bulk and Skull hide behind the counter rather than talk to them. Bulk and Skull completely fail to put two and two together, but we do get to hear the thin female bully refer to Bulk as her "hunka-hunka-Bulky-love" and then I fall over laughing. That was amazing.

On the actual date, Sabrina is all pissy that Adam brought Aisha along, and I honestly can't blame her. But Adam basically tells her that he and Aisha are a package deal and Sabrina sulks. Zedd, however, is completely pleased, because he gets two Rangers for the price of one! So Goldar goes down to attack them, and while I'm discussing fish, why is this episode called Goldar's vice-versa anyway? I mean, seriously.

So Goldar shows up, and Adam tells Sabrina to run, but she refuses, and instead laughs and turns into Scorpina, mocking him. (Have I mentioned that I kinda ship Adam/Scorpina, in a bad and wrong type way? Because I do, in the same way I ship Goldar/Jason. It is entirely possible that I've got a 20,000 word fic in the works. I don't even know.) Adam and Aisha get tied up with the glowing rope of bondagey doom, and they are unable to reach their morphers! Oh noes! So they are both tied to a tree while Goldar and Scorpina stand laughing over them. (I am going to write bad and wrong fic about what happens next. Unless someone else wants to.)

Anyway, at the Youth Center, Kim and Billy are preparing for the dance. Ms. Applebee shsows up, and Kim tells her how excited she is that Adam is going to the dance with the new girl. Why is she talking to the teacher about this anyway? But apparently Ms. Applebee knows everyone in school, even though we've determined that Angel Grove is its own country. Apparently the last new girl in school was Aisha, and Kimberly and Billy are suspicious. A few seconds later, Rocky and Tommy show up, asking if they know where Adam is, since he was supposed to be sparring with them, and he's late. Um. How long have they been gone? How long as Adam expecting the date to be? How has Zordon not noticed? Why are the fish suddenly attacking my amazing episode?

So yeah, they go to the Command Center, and Zordon checks in on them, only to discover that oops, they've been tied to a tree. Zordon FAIL. Rocky doesn't know who Scorpina is, but he is very concerned about his girlfriend and boyfriend. Tommy explains Sscorpina as being "bad news" and just saying that he's glad that they haven't had to encounter her before. The SCT have been Rangers for like a day, when were they supposed to encounter her?

Anyway, there's a big rescue attempt, and Rocky is very concerned for Adam and Aisha. Tommy fights Goldar and Scorpina by himself since he's a glory hog, and Billy uses his mighty lance to cut Adam and Aisha free. Aisha is really pissed at Scorpina, and she gets to say the Morphin call, which pleases me.

Zedd has Goldar and Scorpina grow, and there's a long Zord summoning sequence, and I don't actually care about any of this part. Can we get back to Adam's love life? No? Fine. They summon Tor, and the combination of that Zord makes no sense at all, but I'm just going to ignore it. I mean, I fail to see how standing on top of Tor gives extra power or whatever. But Scorpina and Goldar teleport out, and I'm fairly sure this is the last time we see Scorpina, which is sad. I want so much more fic about her and Adam. Or her and Aisha. I'm just saying, make this happen, internet!

At the dance, Adam is all by himself, as is Aisha. They should be going together. Adam says it's not as bad as he thought, being here alone, and Tommy makes a joke about how he could have been here with Scorpina. Also, Tommy can't dance.

Sarah shows up, and Adam asks where her date is. She says that she doesn't have one, and Aisha pokes at Adam and demands that he ask her to dance, which he does, and he's really dorky and adorable and I kinda love him. (But um, the point of this was for the GIRL to ask the BOY. That is NOT HOW IT WORKS.)

Ernie goes over to Bulk and Skull, and hands them another note, and tells them that he's not their assistant. This time, the note says to turn around, and directly behind them are the female bullies! Bulk and Skull ask them what they could possibly have that they want (and at this point I fall over laughing again) and the girls reply "true love!" and begin to dance with Bulk and Skull.

Somehow while this is going on, Billy and Rocky have ditched their dates so that they could stand by the other Rangers and laugh at Bulk and Skull.

I love this episode SO MUCH.

Fish - 3. A few things made us pause and rant, but overall this was amazing.

Fic people should write us - SO MUCH ADAM/SCORPINA. Also, Adam/Rocky/Aisha discussing this episode. And the Adam/Kim/Aisha gossip hour.

Episode 77 - White Light - Part 1

First, a bit of housekeeping. We changed the tag "Green Ranger era" to "Tommy era." Just in case anyone is wondering.

So. Tommy. Yeah. I hate this episode. I loved it when I was ten. But the thing that actually is going to cause the rage blackout happens in part 2, so I'll try not to rant about it that much.

The episode opens with Bulk and Skull (who are decked out as explorers on a safari, IDEK) demand to know where their sandwiches are. Trini snarkily calls them out on their rudeness, as she is awesome.

Kimberly bounces in, all excited because Tommy has sent her a letter (I guess he remembered which Ranger he's actually dating) telling her that he'll be back at the end of the week. I have no idea what happens next, because we held an all caps conversation about this.

second_batgirl: SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS HE?
queenriley: okay, WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO IN THE FIRST PLACE????? Does he not have SCHOOL???
second_batgirl: APPARENTLY NOT
queenriley: I can't imagine school gives sabbatical for "I lost my ranger powers"

So we finally decided that they have to be on summer vacation or something. We already know that Miss Applebee teaches everything, so I guess that works? (Alternately, the administration knows that they're Rangers and does give a sabbatical for "I lost my powers.")

Anyway, at the Command Center it turns out that Zordon and Alpha are going to work on a project, so they shut down the Command Center without telling the Rangers. Do they not remember what happened the last time Zordon shut down? (I guess since Alpha isn't going to go rescue baby!Dillon this time, they didn't feel the need to call them.) Zedd, who is as awesome at surveillance as Rita was, immediately notices something weird, and then gives us a fish filled explanation about how the Morphin Grid is maintained by a balance of Zedd and Zordon. Right. I guess it's also supported by some giant fish. So Zedd decides this would be a great time to a) capture Tommy again and b) send down a monster named Nimrod.

Back on Earth, Zack, Curtis and Jasosn are playing sports and damn, Jason has nice arms. Then Rita's garbage pail crashes on Earth, and Bulk and Skull decide this is the sign that will tell them who the Power Rangers are. Right. I'm not entirely sure why it took 17 episodes for her to land on Earth. Maybe some fish were blocking her path.

At his uncle's lake, we see Tommy getting out of the lake. Wow, for a moment both of us thought he was naked. Those swim trunks were remarkably close to the color of his skin. Anyway, gratuitous shirtless soaking wet Tommy is gratuitous. And then he gets teleported out by someone in a flash of white light. Hmmm.

Zack wanders over to get a football, and he finds the statue covered in slime, so he calls the others. They are all concerned by the slime, but none of them bother to inspect the back of the statue, which has the monster's head on it. The Rangers soon discover that Zordon isn't answering their communicators, so they teleport to the Command Center which is totally shut down. However, Billy manages to access what we're guessing is the footage from the security cameras, so they teleport down to his lab to check it out.

While in the lab everything starts to shake, so they realize that a monster is attacking. It's Nimrod, and it's two helpers AC and DC. I love this show so much. Midway through the battle Billy teleports to the Command Center to go figure out what Zordon and Alpha are up to. He enters the same code he saw Alpha put in, and falls through the door of light. Instead of ending up in the main room where Alpha and Zordon are, he lands in the room above them, which conveniently has a grate for him to look through. Zordon and Alpha fail at noticing his presence, but Billy is able to see that there's another Ranger....

To be continued. Tomorrow.

Fish: 3.5 The fish sure nudged a lot of plot points into place today.

Billy speak: There was a lot of borderline comments, but the only thing of note was "The activity disc is showing the combination of controls that Alpha coordinated."

Covered in: I did mention soaking wet Tommy and the lake, right?

Episode 25- Life's a Masquerade

We got the opening theme on this episode and I have to say, we get such a delight when we get the opening theme. Season 1 MMPR had the best opening theme in my opinion. Maybe it's just nostalgia talking, but I just get a warm fuzzy feeling when I hear the theme song and see those cheesy effects.

Apparently there is a costume party at the Youth Center and a rather large group of teenagers is helping set up. All the Rangers are there plus probably twenty other kids. Bulk and Skull are there too and Kim mocks their wardrobe without provocation. Way to be mean, Kim, way to be mean. Zack chases after Angela, Jason is left hanging, Tommy offers to help Kimberly and somehow a bucket of paint gets tossed on Bulk. Everybody laughs and we cut to Rita.

She wants a nasty monster to invade the costume party so Finster makes her a Frankenstein Monster. I'm a little sad at this fact. The Frankenstein Monster was really a pretty nice guy. He didn't want to hurt anybody, he just couldn't help it, and I hate that he's been turned into a bad guy... and given his creator's name. Anyway, my rant aside, Rita's Frankenstein Monster agrees to go attack the Power Rangers.

We then get to see all the Ranger costumes, except Tommy's. Billy is Sherlock Holmes, Kim is a princess, Trini is Pocahontas, Zack is King Tut, and Jason is Robin Hood... complete with tights. They actually look pretty good (Zack especially... that man is BUILT) and aside from Kim's entirely pink dress, nobody is decked out in entirely their Ranger colour! In fact, Jason isn't wearing any red AT ALL. We're impressed and wish we could see more of this.

In another house in another part of town we see Bulk and Skull. It appears to be Bulk's very messy bedroom and it is huge. They're trying to figure out what to use as their costumes, no doubt still stinging from Kim's thoughtless comment on their normal attire. First they try Skull as Captain Hook and Bulk as Peter Pan. Then they try Bulk as the back end of a horse and Skull as the front. The best costume idea comes last... Skull as young!Elvis and Bulk as older!Elvis. Bulk throws out his back, however, and they apparently do the same to the costume idea. Tis a pity. They both looked really good as Elvis.

Later, at the party, Zack tries to get Angela to dance with him and she flat out refuses. He laments that even a king isn't good enough for her and Jason comforts him affectionately. We discover Bulk and Skull decided to come as punks and Ernie shows up as a vampire. Alpha then shows up. Yes, Alpha. In public. At a party. At least it's a costume party and he can get away with it for now. The Frankenstein monster comes in right behind him and Billy theorizes it might be Tommy. Tommy hasn't shown up yet because his costume wasn't ready so, despite the very noticeable height and build difference, people just assume he's Tommy. Way to be bad friends, guys. In the meantime, girls swarm around Alpha and Zack again complains about his lack of luck with women. Seriously, Zack, stop hanging around your boyfriend and maybe the girls would look twice at you.

A girl drags the Frankenstein Monster on the floor to dance and he gets mad and lifts her high in the air. She screams and everybody basically just stares at them. Skull, however, jumps into action and shoots the monster with a suction cup dart. It was ineffective, but at least he did something about it! Good for you, Skull.

The monster leaves and Billy, realizing it may not actually be Tommy, chases after him. He is led into the now familiar Cave of Captivity. The only cave Rita ever uses for anything. In this cave we discover Rita (hanging out on Earth!) is having her henchmen build a Super Putty. It's going to be twice as strong and nearly invincible. They are building the Super Putties by making a very big ball of clay. No shape, no form, just a big ball of clay. Rita opens the Earth and flies the big ball of clay out of the ground and up into the air. She promises to come back and destroy all of humanity, cackling evilly the whole time.

Meanwhile, Billy is battling the Frankenstein Monster in the cave. The monster disappears and he runs back to the Youth Center. You have a communicator, Billy. Heck, you CREATED the communicators, Billy. USE THEM FOR THEIR INTENDED PURPOSE! Sorry for the all caps there but this really irritates me. To date Zack is the only Ranger who used the communicator in a time of need. Fail, Rangers!

Billy tells the others what is going on and they teleport to the Command Center to ask Zordon. He shows them the monster and they try to contact Tommy but are, as usual, unsuccessful. At least it's consistent for his character! They morph and go to fight the monster, but Rita makes him grow almost immediately. So they summon the Zords almost immediately.

Meanwhile, Tommy is attacked by a group of putties in front of the Youth Center. He beats them off and finally realizes he has a communicator. Zordon tells him to morph and go help the others. MegaZord has been knocked down, but Tommy shows up just in time to help. Rita flies away, thinking she's likely won at this point, and they form the MegaDragonZord. They beat the Frankenstein Monster relatively easy and it, as usual, gives poor Rita yet another headache.

Back at the party, they discover it's time to find out who won the costume contest. Tommy is in his regular clothes and tells them he'll be right back, he has to go put on his costume. Tommy shows up about 15 seconds after he leaves. He's managed to change clothes, put on a mask/hat, and paint the rest of his skin blue. He looks just like Rita's Frankenstein Monster, only considerably shorter and less bulky. Everybody jumps, Tommy removes the hat, and the whole bunch get a hearty laugh. Ernie then hands the blue ribbon to Alpha, who insists his identity must remain a mystery and leaves.

Overall, this is a pretty low fish episode! It's consistent, it's not too terribly ridiculous, and it even has foreshadowing for later episodes! The Rangers aren't glaringly obvious by wearing outfits consisting entirely of their designated colour. Rita is on Earth! And foretells of evil things to come in the future! Alpha is in public, but in the believable setting of a costume contest. And we get to see the Cave of Captivity again. All in all, we give it 2.5 fish.

Covered in food: Nobody, but Bulk gets covered in paint

Billy Speak: "My deductive reasoning tells me you're not Tommy."
"It's time for molecular transmutation!"

Episode 15- Peace, Love, and Woe

I'd like to start this recap off by saying a high fish episode CAN be an awesome episode. It's just a ridiculous episode. Our first five fish episode is both.

We start with some teens decorating the Youth Center for an upcoming dance. Other teens, mainly the Rangers, continue with normal Youth Center activities anyway. Jason is instructing Trini in some martial arts move, Kim is doing gymnastics, and Bulk is skateboarding. In the Youth Center. I wasn't sure that would be allowed, but apparently Ernie has no rules for his business establishment. Trini doesn't pay attention, kicks Bulk, and he goes straight for Ernie who is carrying a cake. Ernie really ought to know better than to carry a cake around the Youth Center by now. Just as every time before, Bulk runs into him and they get covered in cake. Surprise surprise surprise. Or not.

Rita orders Squat and Baboo to get back to work but we're not entirely sure what they do for her other than praise her. Finster agrees to make her Madame Woe and we cheer. Madame Woe is awesome!

Meanwhile, back at the Youth Center, the Rangers are razzing Billy about his lack of date to the dance. Zack tells Billy he'll teach him some dance moves to impress the ladies and Billy replies with Billy speak. He's not interested in using dance moves to attract women. He has his massive and beautiful brain for that. Trini knows that's what real women find attractive and says as much. "Billy doesn't want to dance JUST to attract girls." She really stresses that JUST. Billy then runs into a girl, quite literally. She is absolutely adorable and they both use the same sophisticated manner of speech. Aw. The other Rangers look on approvingly. They are so invested in his love life, it's almost unnerving! Billy and Adorable Smart Girl see her dropped Necklace of Extreme Significance and bump heads attempting to get it. Aw, cliche romantic interest move! We discover she was also a graduate of the Accelerated Baby Genius program and the adorable factor just went up by about ten points. She asks Billy to the dance and it's so freaking cute I can hardly stand it.

I should mention that a lot of dirty innuendos get thrown around:
Billy: "I'm not really interested in engaging feminine attentions through bodily gyrations"
Adorable Smart Girl: "I'm afraid neither one of us was monitoring our designated entrance or exit"
Plans to "discuss the weather"
And Zack is hanging ALL OVER Jason. No, really, he is. He's resting his hand on Jason's shoulder and is DRAPED across his back. I think this is the most action any Ranger has ever gotten, including Tommy. They were like this the entire 2 minute scene!

Rita calls Madame Woe to her and tells her one Ranger will be in the park that afternoon and should be taken, that the rest will follow. She totally PWNS Zordon on monitoring the Rangers. She knows about their dates and Zordon can't even be bothered to figure out if they're under a spell before 24 hours has passed! Madame Woe goes to said park and, instead of finding Billy, finds Adorable Smart Girl. Her Necklace of Extreme Significance falls to the ground as she is captured. Shortly thereafter, Billy shows up with flowers. Aw, he brought her flowers! He is distraught to discover no Marge (she finally has a name! And we found out before the episode ended too!). He is attacked by putties, however, and calls the other Rangers over. Apparently four putties can hold off five Rangers for a few minutes, or long enough for Billy to discover the Necklace of Extreme Significance on the ground. He's about to explain when Zordon calls them to the Command Center. He was unusually timely this episode and I must applaud him for his first ever lack of fail. I love Zordon but wow does he fail at monitoring them most of the time.

Billy is sad, they attempt to cheer him up, and then discover that they can combine their Power Coins to focus all the power into one Ranger. It has never been mentioned before and never mentioned since, so we like to call this Captain Plot Device. They go and fight and are almost immediately sucked into a Madame Woe's alternate dimension. Wait. What? We call FISH and move on. Billy is all "Oh look it's my girlfriend!" and she's all "Oh look it's the Power Rangers and I totally don't recognize your voice Billy the Blue Ranger."

Somehow Madame Woe can control the elements as well. We're scratching our heads but call fish and move on yet again. Twice in under a minute. That doesn't bode well for this episode. Billy determines they need to get back to their own dimension and they... combine their powers into one ("Morph to the power of one!" reminds us very much of "By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!") and give it all to Billy. He... breaks free of the alternate dimension. We're not sure how, he just did. He somehow manages to YELL across to the alternate dimension and THEY HEAR HIM. Um... what the what what? Fish again, and moving on.

Billy grabs Madame Woe by the neck and pulls the Big Blue Crystal off her forehead. He CRUSHES it in his hand as if were made of fine powder and suddenly the alternate dimension fades and the Rangers and Marge are brought back to their own dimension. What? He can crush crystals in his hand? It brought them back? What? We yell FISH FISH FISH a lot and beg for the fight to be over already. The Rangers all fight, yet their power is still all in Billy, so we're not sure how. We just want it end, preferably sooner rather than later.

Thankfully it is over and we're brought to the Youth Center for the dance. The Rangers are decked out in atrocious outfits consisting entirely of their individual Ranger colours. Because that's not conspicuous or anything. Marge tells Billy all about the wonderful, heroic Blue Ranger and Billy is looking very boastful for somebody who's Ranger identity is supposed to be a secret. Billy gets the first heterosexual kiss of the show here (Jason and Zack having gotten the first kiss overall in Episode 13.)

We are then treated to horrible comic relief in the form of Bulk grossing us out by paying Ernie (for the cake he destroyed earlier) with money from his overly smelly feet. Ernie passes out into the new cake and, when revived by the Ranger teens, takes the smelly money and goes dancing. On the plus side, it's one of the few times we ever see anybody pay for anything in this show.

And that's the end of that.
Lists:

This is a solid FIVE fish episode. First ever. The morphed scenes are just too ridiculous to even consider going lower.

Billy Speak: "I'm not really interested in engaging feminine attentions through bodily gyrations"
Trini Translation: "Billy doesn't want to dance JUST to attract girls."

Billy Speak: "My priority is to complete my experimental weather analyzing device in my laboratory."

Marge Speak: "I'm afraid neither one of us was monitoring our designated entrance or exit."

Billy Speak: "It's Marge. She never reached the primary destination point we assented to."
Trini Translation: "Marge never showed up here as planned."

Billy Speak: "With alacrity."
Trini Translation: "He means we've got to move fast."

Covered in food: Bulk in cake once at the beginning, and Ernie in cake once at the end.

Episode 12 - Happy Birthday Zack

Hey, it's a Zack centered episode! It only took 12 episodes before he got an episode all to himself. We're surprised it took so long, because Zack is awesome.

Anyway. It's Zack's birthday. We have no idea how old he's supposed to be turning, but the other Rangers have decided to throw him a surprise party, and because Angel Grove is totally centered around them, Ernie is letting them take over the Youth Center the night before to decorate for Zack's party. I hope they're paying Ernie handsomely for this, but considering they rarely remember to pay for their food most of the time, I doubt it.

The episode opens with Billy dancing (apparently he got over the dancing thing with help from the young deaf girl) while the Rangers decorate. Billy apparently built a cake-o-matic, because apparently Billy is impatient for replicators to be invented in the 24th century, or whatever. Of course, the cake-o-matic promptly explodes, and Billy and Ernie get covered in something sticky and blue, while Kimberly and Trini look on without actually trying to help them. They are clearly the best friends ever.

After they get cleaned up, we get possibly my favorite moment in the show, and an excuse for me to at some point write an epic Batman/Power Rangers crossover. Ernie is talking to the four Rangers, and he tells them he's heard things about the Power Rangers. They pretend they don't know who he is talking about, because apparently that is their way of deflecting attention from themselves, when it instead makes them sound like morons, because the Power Rangers have been on tv at this point, and since people call them Power Rangers, they've clearly had to have given at least one press conference at this point. But I don't really care, because it lets Ernie say that "Maybe the Power Rangers will do for Angel Grove what Batman has done for Gotham City."

GOTHAM CITY EXISTS IN THE POWER RANGERS UNIVERSE. IT IS CANON.

I apologize for the all caps, but I felt that the amazingness of that needed to be pointed out incredibly strongly. (Look, I love comic books even more than I love Power Rangers, and I love Power Rangers a LOT.)

Ernie continues to tell Jason and Billy what he's heard about the Power Rangers - namely, that they're ordinary humans. This is clearly a hint from Ernie saying "Hey, I know who you guys are. I'm not that stupid." However, Jason is an idiot, and he instead tells Ernie that he heard the Rangers were really space aliens. Because that thought is supposed to be comforting. Look, Jason, people aren't stupid. Did you not see how the deaf girl ran right over to you? People know. Also, space aliens defending people from other space aliens is not at all comforting. One of the nice things about Power Rangers is that these are normal humans, albeit ones who were given the ability to morph by aliens, but most of the martial arts skills are theirs. (Can you tell I have a problem with later series where suddenly they all have special abilities when they're demorphed?)

Jason's attempt at lying and Ernie's pretending to go along with it is interrupted by Bulk and Skull, because the rangers apparently can't remember to lock the door. Nice job, everyone! This is actually the worst we've seen Bulk and Skull - they're downright cruel in this episode, and Skull's sexual harassment of Trini is not at all okay, although the Rangers were still jackasses with some of their comments. (Comparing people to animals is not okay.)

Even after Bulk and Skull leave, the Rangers apparently still don't quite grasp the concept of 'locking the door' because Zack wanders in. Apparently Trini failed to tell her mother this was going to be a surprise party, because she told Zack where they would be hanging out. Zack is very sad that people have apparently ditched him, but we were a bit distracted at this point because damn, his shorts were short. He has seriously nice legs.

Moving on, Rita has also remembered that it is Zack's birthday. Well, it isn't so much that she remembered, it's that all she does is spy on them. Honestly, if she went off and tried to conquer some other city, nobody would notice. But instead she keeps concentrating on Angel Grove. Whatever. She decides to send down a Nasty Knight, and uses an awesome spell to summon him from her big book of monsters.

The next morning, Zack approaches Kimberly at school, and is totally passive-aggressive about his birthday. Seriously, he asks "Do I look any older to you?" Kimberly pretends that she did forget a birthday, and Zack looks really happy, until Kimberly hints that she forgot her pet poodle's birthday, and she hopes the dog won't be mad at her. I'm not quite sure what is more amazing - the fact that this is the excuse she came up with, or the fact that Zack totally buys it as a plausible excuse. Seriously, Kim, be more awesome. I dare you. *hearts* When Zack wanders off, the rest of the Rangers walk over and ask Kim if everything is okay. Kimberly says she hated lying to Zack. Note: Jason is wearing one of his ridiculous tank tops. We're pretty sure it isn't appropriate for school. This will come up again later.

Zack has apparently cut school, or else he just never hinted at his birthday until the end of the day, which we doubt, because he is an attention whore. He's hanging out in a quarry, because... that is where you go when you're cutting school because your friends forgot your birthday? I've got nothing else to offer at that. Rita shows up with Zack's gift, and we're sure that Zack wishes that Rita had forgotten his birthday too. He morphs and fights both the Nasty Knight and Goldar. Zordon is totally oblivious for a while, and then summons the other rangers. Jason is now wearing something else over his shirt. Seriously, he totally got in trouble because of the dress code.

Upon arriving at the quarry, they find that the Knight has the ability to ruin their weapons with one hit, so the Rangers use their blade blasters and shoot him. Rita grows the monster, and there is an exceptionally long Zord summoning sequence, during which we came up with a few theories. First, the Rangers never sound at all excited about Zord summoning. It's silly. Also, we have to wonder how many people end up dying from the volcano every time Kimberly summons her Zord. (I'd also desperately love fic about someone studying that particular volcano.)

The Mega Sword also gets ruined by the Knight, and it looks like all hope is lost for the Rangers, until Zack has the bright idea to reflect energy back at the Knight. Apparently 'reflect energy' is code for 'shoot it with laser beams' and we're really impressed that there were only 3 minutes left in the episode before we had to yell fish! The Mega Sword miraculously repairs itself, and then the Nasty Knight is dusted.

After their victory, the Rangers lead Zack back to the Youth Center, which is completely dark. They turn on the lights and a whole bunch of random extras are there! There was no sign of Angela, which is sad, because she makes episodes more awesome. Zack is excited and he hugs his friends a lot, and then the rangers all dance except for Billy, because his cake-o-matic explodes again and he and Ernie get covered a second time. Except this time the frosting is pink. Whatever.

Rating: Two fish! The rangers actually act like normal teenagers in this episode. And there is BATMAN. You can never go wrong with Batman!

Billy speak: "You're right, Kimberly, the performers assembled to create this harmonious tune transcend all predecessors to this genre of music"
Trini translation: "He likes the music."

Billy speak: "I fail to ascertain why this appliance isn't working, I mean the molecular mix re-arranger is still intact"
Ernie translation: The cake-o-matic that Billy built for Zack's surprise party - it went on the warpath.

Billy speak: "Her proficiency with complex illustrated characterizations is quite impressive, isn't it?"
Kimberly commentary: "Don't look at me, I don't speak Billy."
Trini translation: "He said I draw a good cartoon."

Rita's spell: "Moon of ivory, stars of old, candlelight that's spun of gold. Sky of fire, wind of fright, bring to me a Nasty Knight."

Covered in food: Ernie and Billy (twice!), Skull