Episode 360 - The Chosen Path

Previously on Power Rangers, Joel is a douche. Kelsey has a super awesome Action Grandma. Ryan is no longer shirtless and also far far away and I have a sad. But today we have a Chad episode and that makes me happy!

So the Big Bads are having a dinner party. They're eating rodents and it makes me sad because rodents are cute and furry and sweet and oh so very smart! Well, rats are. And they say they're eating rats but they look like mice. ANYWAY. There is arguing and Big Bads being... well... rather like stupid frat boys.

Meanwhile, the rangers are doing actual TRAINING EXERCISES! Also, hello there Chad's Arms! It's so very nice to see you... can we see more of you? As the training exercise finishes, Chad's old mentor shows up. Out of the blue. In the middle of nowhere. For the sole purpose of chastising him for straying from the path he had set for Chad. Apparently Chad could really have Been Something. Because, y'know, BEING A POWER RANGER and SAVING THE WHOLE WORLD is such a waste, right?

Back at the base, Chad has a sad because his second daddy mentor is disappointed in him. Poor Chad! He tells his woes to Kelsey and it's super cute. But they get interrupted by a big orange cyclops guy who thinks he's the best. He's boring, but he does challenge them to hand to hand combat instead of hand to weapon combat. Except they still don't fight unmorphed. But whatever.

Chad's old Sensei thinks he can beat Cyclopter and challenges him to a fight. And manages to actually kick his ass. Everybody is super impressed. Chad attempts to introduce everybody, but Sensei is having NONE of that. He has no interest in the rangers. Because he has a stick up his rear end. Kelsey, luckily, is having none of his having none of them. She pleads Chad's case, but doesn't get very far.

I really kind of want to just smack this guy on the back of the head. Because he's throwing away something really awesome in Chad! Because he's too stuck in his idea of the way the world should work.

Meanwhile, Cyclopter goes to Chad's old Sensei. He has changed his ways and wants nothing more than to become his student. And the dude FALLS FOR IT. He agrees to teach Cyclopter. This will not end well. Which Chad tries to point out to him. But Cyclopter "gave his word of honour" and is apparently a better student than Chad because he's "more dedicated" or something. REALLY DUDE???? CHAD IS THE FREAKING BLUE RANGER! GET OVER YOURSELF.

Chad throws a bit of a fit back at the base and Kelsey tries to point out that his pride is getting in the way. His Sensei is in trouble and needs Chad's help. He should be out there helping him get away from the monster, not pouting. Though I can't really blame him for pouting. I would too. Anyway, he goes out to find Cyclopter. Who has already learned everything he can learn and has basically shoved Sensei away, as he deems him unnecessary. WHAT THE HELL DID HE EXPECT THOUGH? HE'S A FREAKING MONSTER!

Chad is determined to fix things, though, so he helps his Sensei recover before Carter calls him for help. Chad is ready to run off when Sensei says he can't go, that Cyclopter will know everything Chad has forgotten. Except Chad has not forgotten his training. Because he's Chad! And he's awesome! And dedicated! AND TOTALLY THE AWESOMESAUCE BLUE RANGER, OKAY? I guess this is all Sensei needed because he's all "Yeah, okay, go."

AND THEN WE GET AN UNMORPHED FIGHT! AND CHAD IS AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM. HE IS THE BEST THERE EVER WAS. Eventually there is morphing and monster growing and all the zords and whatever. I just want to watch that unmorphed fight again!

Back at the base, Chad and Mr. Tamashiro make up. He wants a tour of the Aquabase. Chad goes all goopy AW SURROGATE DADDY on him. It's syrupy cute. Resolved really fast and really easily, but whatever. Chad is adorable and I love everything about him.

5 fish. Because I spent the whole episode wanting to smack the old man with a frying pan and telling him that is NOT how one treats a student/surrogate son and goddamn just be proud of him for all the good he's doing in the world.

Episode 352 - Curse of the Cobra

Let's get down to business! To recap the show!

Previously, Ryan has angst! \o/ So, true story. When I was a teenager, I used to babysit every Saturday night. And being the worst babysitter ever, I would basically plop the kids in front of the TV, and watch something from their (fairly awesome) video collection.

Anyway, they had these two episodes, and we watched them a lot. (They were the only episodes of LR I'd seen, actually, since the Lost Galaxy airing schedule had gotten me out of PR for a while.)

Anyway! Let's talk about the possessed by an evil snake tattoo that's going to slither up his body and necessitate a lot of shirtless scenes. Show, how are you so great? (Why couldn't the whole season be about that?) (And I don't even HAVE a tattoo kink, but the hurt/comfort and the angst and the issues and this was tailor made for me, seriously.)

(My flail at the end of the last episode when he got the evil snake tattoo? Yeah, I love these episodes. A LOT.)

Anyway! We start with the villains gossiping and recapping previous events. Then Diabolico gives the monsters a new toy.

Back on the Aquabase, Captain Awesome is explaining to Ryan how great Ms. Fairweather is. And then he's all "there is actual training!" I appreciate that the team actually has to work on this whole being a Ranger thing. Captain Awesome tells Ryan how proud he is of him, and Ryan is all "yay!" but then as soon as his dad leaves he strips off his shirt and stares at the tattoo. Oh, Ryan. You need all the hugs. Don't worry, Carter will volunteer soon!

We get a flashback to Diabolico disintegrating Ryan's shirt and pushing him up against a pillar and giving him the cursed tattoo (yesssss) and then Carter spies on shirtless Ryan because he loves him. Carter is speechless at the sight of Ryan's body tattoo, but then instead of going to train, a monster attacks.

The team grabs their jackets and head out and morph. There's a fight and some cool gymnastics and then Ryan is in pain as the tattoo begins to slither up his body, and he falls off a building, writhing on the ground in agony, and seriously, best episode. Carter rushes to his side, but Ryan insists he's fine, but Carter can actually see the tattoo moving, even through his suit. Then the monsters use the new toy to make a copy of the villain.

... For a second I wasn't sure if I was writing hurt/comfort fic or recapping the episode. I love when that happens.

Anyway, fight happens, and then Carter shoots from the hip, which is pretty cool, and then some toys are brought out. The Rangers get knocked down, but they get up again, and then Ryan falls to his knees.

Carter realizes that if they hurt demonite, they hurt his clone also, and then Carter announces that he has a plan. Ryan forcibly demorphs and clutches at his back, while the monster mocks him.

The other Rangers keep running around and play hide and seek among the containers with the monster, and we see that they're on the roof of them.  The monsters realize this, and shoot at them, but it was a trick so that Carter can threaten the monster. The monster is all "at this distance, you'll blow yourself up, too." Then we flash to Ryan's agonized face, and then Carter decides not to blow up the monster? This makes no sense at all. Their whole purpose is to blow up monsters. Anyway, the monster is all "well, if you won't destroy me, I'll destroy you" and then Carter shoots him and blows him up anyway. So.... what was the point of that?

Everyone assumes that Carter is dead, and then Joel is all "look, he's fine!" He does have Red Ranger immunity, anyway. There are some hugs, and Dana holds the collapsing Carter.

Diabolico makes the destroyed Demonite  monster grow, and the zords are summoned. Could we go back to Ryan, please? Anyway, then they call the other zords. They blow up the monster. I do love that the Super Train Megazord is SO MUCH TALLER than the monster. Then they blow it up.

Diabolico is very upset that Demonite has been destroyed, but the other two villains are all "it's cool, we'll handle it."

Meanwhile, shirtless!Ryan is staring at his back in the mirror again, and Carter has come to see him. Carter is all "Ryan, I stared at your naked back." Ryan tells Carter its a going away present from Diabolico, and when Carter pushes, Ryan tells him the truth as long as he promises not to tell anyone. He doesn't want to be grounded, because being a Ranger is important to him.

Of course, it turns out that his dad is listening outside. he tells Ryan that until something is figured out, Ryan isn't to morph. His dad points out that he lost him once, and he can't lose him again.

BEST EPISODE. I mean, except for the part that makes no sense. STILL. BEST EPISODE.

Fish: 2! Okay, it probably deserves more than that, but we were pretty distracted and didn't care that much.

Episode 346 - Up to the Challenge

Hey, it's 2013! We live! Time for recaps and hopefully an actual schedule! So today we have an episode about Chad and Kelsey as BFFs! Yay!

we open with a lovely underwater diving scene, and then Chad waking up Kelsey for breakfast. He's an early riser, apparently, and she doesn't get it. She's grumpy, because morning. Although to be fair, I would also wake up early to swim with fish. But maybe not every day. That's overkill. And also I hate waking up early.

So Chad is going to teach Kelsey something new, and seriously, most adorable. Meanwhile, the villains are plotting something I don't particularly care about, because can we get back to how adorable Chad and Kelsey are?

Anyway, the new thing that Chad is teaching Kelsey is Tai Chi at the VR Troopers temple of Ryan angst. She's bad at it, and would much rather be skateboarding. He's all "well, inner calm! You could need it!" And then she blows up at him and he rambles apologies at her and MOST ADORABLE and they mock fight.

Then some asshat shows up on a motorcycle, who recognizes them as the Power rangers. Chad introduces them, and the guy is all "and I bet you suck" and challenges them to a fight. Kelsey encourages Chad to fight, but Chad is all "I don't need to prove myself to anyone" because he has inner calm and is also great.

So, totally a downside of public identities. I wonder how many barfights the public ID rangers get into when they get attacked by drunk assholes who just want to say they fought a Power Ranger. WHO IS WRITING ME THAT FIC.

Anyway, the guy attacks him, and Chad totally schools him and knocks him down. Asshole's girlfriend is not impressed at all, and then Chad and Kelsey have to run off to help a battle.

Some nonsense happens with zords and a rescue (and seriously, are there really no police or emergency workers at ALL in this city?) and Kelsey does some stunt that has Carter give her helmet a noogie. Then a monster shows up.

Asshat is on his bike somewhere and he sees the fight. The monster goes into some building and Kelsey is now "AND I SHOOT THINGS NOW" and Chad is all "USE YOUR BRAINS, KELSEY" and then the building explodes. Oops.

Kelsey is injured and is all "oh, is that what you meant by not getting over excited?" and then she passes out dramatically in Chad's arms. Meanwhile, asshole guy spies on the monsters and then he's all "I want to learn how to destroy the Blue Ranger from you" and then Vypra does some spell and he calls her MISTRESS and has glowy eyes and THIS IS GREAT. (He so has a crush on Chad.)

Kelsey is still unconscious and Chad is blaming himself. Joel points out that nobody can stop Kelsey. Because Kelsey.

Asshole guy (Brian, apparently) challenges Chad to a fight while the other three Rangers go to fight the monster.

Vypra watches Brian train, while Chad shows up and is like "I'm going to get you out of here" and Brian attacks Chad. We get some GREAT unmorphed fighting. (This is why you should hire martial artists, show. Didn't Chad train Jacob from Twilight or something?)

Meanwhile, Ms. Fairweather catches Kelsey trying to go help. She knows better than to try and stop Kelsey, and instead gives her a new toy. Kelsey hugs her and calls her Ms. F. (AND I SHIP THEM NOW) and Ms. Fairweather starts to tell Kelsey to be careful, and instead switches to "try and bring it back in one piece." BECAUSE SHE KNOWS KELSEY SO WELL.

Kelsey brings the new toy to rescue the other Rangers (who are tied up with tentacle things)  and we go back to the Chad vs Brian fight. WHICH IS GREAT. Vypra is all disappointed that Brian sucks. Chad extends his hand to Brian to get him away, but Chad is grabbed by Batlings instead. Brian suddenly has a crisis of conscience about fighting Chad (and seriously, Vypra, why not just kill Chad yourself?) and attacks the Batlings instead.

Chad and Brian become friends and Chad tells him he doesn't have to prove himself to anyone, and then Chad goes to show up to fight the monster. Monster blows up and... no zord fight? REALLY? YAY.

Later, Chad and Kelsey are doing tai chi again, and Brian is teaching little kids martial arts. Kelsey is impressed. Now Kelsey is all "I have to teach YOU something now" and then Chad is confronted by a hot girl (who hits a tennis ball at them). Kelsey decides she will teach Chad to talk to girls. Honey, I'm not so sure he's interested. STILL. ADORABLE.

Fish: 2!

Episode 335 - Escape the Lost Galaxy

So hey! DragonCon. That was a thing that happened. Did I see any of you at the Power Rangers panel on Saturday? But as I now owe TWO con reports, I guess I should talk about the recap instead.

Well. That last episode was super boring, right? I guess we know why all the fish abandoned that one, they were needed for this episode.

We start off with villain guy kidnapping people from Terra Venture to make them slaves. Because apparently what Lost Galaxy really needs is a slave AU. (I'm totally serious about this.) We'd also like to point out that villain guy has an amazing horned helmet, and somewhere Loki is super jealous.

Mike is very upset about the slave situation. Kai is playing... is that 3D chess? YES. Oh right, while we got distracted over that, Mike comes up with a plan for him to get kidnapped and taken and the others can go after him. He refuses to let Leo go with him. This plan seems to be working just fine, and Mutiny welcomes them to his slave camp, and we get Mike in chains. *____* (And at some point after he's chained, he removes some of his clothing to show off his nice arms.)

The slaves are all digging for jewels (which are all shiny immediately out of the ground), and some old man is being threatened for not working fast enough. Mike helps a woman who collapses, even though she tells him not to help her. Turns out if you help someone else out, you'll both get destroyed or something.

Mike gets beaten by the villain, but slave woman manages to help him since Mike had given his collected jewels to her grandfather.

Kai starts studying the book, and Leo suggests reading the spell backwards. MAYBE YOU SHOULD WAIT TO DO THIS UNTIL AFTER YOU HAVE MIKE BACK, YOU IDIOTS. Anyway, we get a lights show, and the two hide behind a couch, until they realize they did it. Everyone is very excited that the portal is open, and now they're about to leave. HEY, MIKE IS STILL A SLAVE, MORONS.

All the slaves are being led back to their cells, when Mike grabs random girl and tackles her. She tries to refuse to leave without her grandfather, which nearly gets them caught, so then her grandfather causes a distraction and gets put in a "special" cell.

Mike calls the others and tells them 30 minutes (how do they know they won't be through the portal by then?) and starts the escape. I don't know why he wanted the thirty minute delay, since getting all the Rangers there would HELP EARLIER. But planning is clearly not their strong suit. All the slaves start to board the Megaship, but the girl refuses to leave without her grandfather, who is still locked up. Shouldn't they have grabbed him earlier? Fish. So many fish.

Girl and Mike release the grandfather from the stockade, and then Mike morphs, sending the other two back to the ship. Girl and grandfather make it back to the ship, but Mike is still fighting. The rangers hand out blankets to everyone, and the girl figures out that Mike is still missing. Mutiny fires at the Rangers, but Mike distracts him long enough for the Rangers and former slaves to escape.

Instead, Mike gets hit and knocked out, and the villains decide to go to stop Terra Venture from reaching the portal. Mike is visiting by the spirit of the Magna Defender, who tells him that he has his most important mission ever. The portal is rapidly closing, and Mike in the Torozord shows up and holds the wormhole portal open, which somehow a) restores the wormhole (how has Terra Venture NOT gone through yet?) and b) blows Mike up? The amount of science doesn't work that way can't be stressed enough.

Both ships make it through the portal, and Mutiny follows them, but Trakeena is having NONE of it, and she blows them up, because she is GREAT and doesn't want the competition.

Leo goes searching for Mike, and he finds his UNMORPHED BODY floating in space. Leo's main concern is that his MORPHER has been destroyed, not that Mike should be DEAD. Of course, turns out that Mike is still alive, but he's lost his powers, and that's it. The Magna Defender's spirit shows up and thanks him for everything, but SPACE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

If he'd stayed MORPHED until Leo had got him, I would have bought that and it would have been super dramatic, etc. BUT SPACE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT. I will BUY THAT THEY CAN BREATHE ON THE MOON, BECAUSE REASONS. But I can't buy this. I'm sorry, that is RIDICULOUS.

Fish: FIVE. And this episode is lucky we can't redo the fish scale so I could give it TEN.

Fic we want: I wasn't kidding about the slave AU.

Episode 333 - Hexuba's Graveyard

Good morning, recapees! I am not entirely awake during this recap (I may have spent the previous one repeatedly saying Scorpina instead of Trakeena, but then again, Scorpina is my favorite.) ANYWAY. I am back from Morphicon, and at some point I will actually get my act together and post a con report here. (And maybe we'll do a DVD review at some point, since I purchased the shiny box set. Along with the VR Troopers box set. And a lot of toys. Morphicon was really expensive, okay?)

Speaking of things being posted, there won't be any recaps next week, because it's DragonCon weekend! There's a Power Rangers panel this year, so if you're going to DragonCon, hopefully I'll see you Saturday at 7!

So, we open up on Mutiny going to see Hexuba, who is in a graveyard somewhere, planning a spell to cast on the Rangers. I wonder if she's hung out with Rita before? Is this where Rita got the spell to turn Tommy evil? Did they go to evil Hogwarts?

Hexuba tells Mutiny she has a plan (that somehow involves gopher's guts, IDEK) that releases a bunch of old villains and send s them to Terra Venture. They immediately come upon jogging!Leo, who is very pretty and has really nice arms. Leo is like "wtf, I beat you already" and the monster attacks him.

Leo fights the monster (unmorphed) when the other Rangers show up. Kai helps Leo up, and everyone is like "wait, didn't we beat him already?" and then Leo breaks the fourth wall about it being his last appearance. Leo is also able to beat the monster on his own.

Leo explains that the monster appeared right after a colored streak of light went by, and Karone is like "you mean like that one?" So they follow the light and see ANOTHER monster that they've already defeated. Oh god, this episode is going to be all fighting, all the time, isn't it? DOOOM.

Mike lets them know there's another attack, so the Rangers summon some more weapons and blow up the monster. (We're trying to figure out if they've used those particular toys before. We don't think so, but then again, our recaps tend to include the phrase "and then they pull out some new toys and fight with them.") They go and fight the monster in the city dome, and then Mike shows up and is like "two more monsters."

Kai points out that they can't do this forever, and he has a plan. Leo is like "too dangerous!" but Kai is all "going to the source to stop them, k, bye!" There's some more fighting.

Kai makes his way to the space castle surrounded by space lightning, while back on Terra Venture the ghost of Treacheron threatens Mike, who chases after him. The Rangers are starting to get tired, and they have to split up to fight all the monsters. (And I'm sorry, Mutiny's mooks are so horrible looking. The putties are so much better.)

Kai sees Hexuba cast another spell, and he starts fighting her. We switch back to the Mike vs Treacheron fight, which ends really quickly. I guess Hexuba couldn't bring them back at full power. Leo and Mike fight another monster, while Damon and Karone take on another.

Have I mentioned how little I care about fighting unless there's some character development in it?

Kai tries to stop Hexuba from releasing another monster, but she binds him in magical rope. He manages to escape her and then destroys her crystal ball, which causes her magic castle to blow up.

Back on Terra Venture, the Rangers keep destroying monsters, and they're all exhausted. Just as they're losing, Kai shows up to save the day, because he is great! He blows up the monster, and then Hexuba shows up. Kai chases after her, and everyone else is like "wtf is going on?" But they follow him anyway!

Hexuba uses the combines powers of all the monsters, but the Rangers use the fish of Orion. That has no effect. So Leo summons his fugly battlizer. And I guess transformation is a free action, because while he's powering up, Hexuba just stands there. He shoots her, and then she grows, so they summon the zords.

The Zords don't seem to be doing very well, so they summon even MORE toys. And look, if you want to have this battle mean something, you need to introduce this villain WAY EARLIER IN THE SEASON.

They finally blow her up or whatever.

Back on the ship, the Commander goes to find Mike and Kai and takes them to see the woman in charge of the station. It turns out that the fuel reserves have been tainted, and the systems will start to shut down in 2 more days.

WORST CREW EVER. HOW DID THEY NOT FIGURE THIS OUT BEFORE NOW?

Dramatic reveals, you are DOING IT WRONG.

Fish: 4. Too much fighting, not enough characterization, and massively failing on dramatic reveals.

Episode 322 - The Chameliac Warrior

We start off with Mike showing off his really nice arms. We have to give the brothers credit - seriously, niiiiiiiiiiiiiice. He's jogging and stretching and then he hears some villains who have (once again) infiltrated Terra Venture. Man, this space ship has HORRIBLE security. I guess the same people who designed this also designed Corinth. Somehow he notices that the villains have dropped a disc and grabs it, but is noticed by the villains. The MotW not only knows Mike's fighting style (and has copied his blaster), but somehow knows it better than him. Mike and his swirly cape gets rescued by the other Rangers, and they decide to investigate what was on the disc to see what Villemax was up to. Mike is all bandaged (including one around his hair for some reason) but he looks fine. At least when Leo is in the hospital wing, he looks all beaten up. Seriously, we could use more beaten up Leo and Mike. Mike continues to explain how it seems like the monster knew exactly how he fought and was able to copy him. Up on Trakeena's ship, the monster is analyzing all of the Rangers moves so that he will be able to copy them. This scene goes on FOREVER. I guess they really had to fill some time in this episode. After what seems like FOREVER he is done copying their moves. The villains are constructing something (and seriously, worst security ever) and the villains are tipped off that the Rangers are on their way. Apparently the villains are constructing a laser, but Chameliac is going to distract them until its ready. The Rangers morph and fight the Stingwingers, and the Rangers each go up against Chameliac in turn and they get thoroughly beaten. The Rangers summon the fish of Orion, but Chameliac does the same, and turns the fish back against them. As Chameliac says, not only can he do anything they can do better, but he makes it look good. While they're discussing what's going on, Maya is cuddling Kendrix, and that is worth discussing. Kai is all "we need a plan" and he rambles on about computers, but Leo is all "ok, just feed them wrong information." Mike starts removing the useless bandages and is analyzing the laser data. (Although for some reason he leaves on the useless head bandage. I guess they just wanted to hide his hair, which is surprisingly not floppy.) The Rangers all go to investigate the laser and morph. They use each others fighting styles/supposed signature moves that we haven't really noticed before to confuse/destroy the monster (although of COURSE Leo has to show off his ridiculous motorcycle thing.) Chameliac grows and the fug zords get summoned, and Mike realizes that the big plan is for the laser to destroy the fug zords. However, he shows up just in time and shoots the laser, destroying it. The Fugazord gets formed but it seems Chameliac has also copied the Megazords moves, so they summon another Megazord and blow him up. Leo and Mike go jogging to show off their arms, and then the fugly Lion Zord shows up to thank them for saving him from being destroyed by the laser. Fish: 5. This was ridiculous.

Episode 315 - An Evil Game

Appropriate icon is appropriate!

So Deviot is still pissed because he doesn't get the cocoon, since Trakeena is having it locked away. She says she's powerful enough without it, but she should keep it around just in case. Trakeena is having a flashback to the events of last episode, with Leo killing her dad, and the tearful goodbye she had with her dad. Villemax is all "Hey, found the Red Ranger" and Trakeena demands that he be brought to her, so she can kill him slowly and painfully.

In some really dusty place on Trakeena's ship, Deviot is busy being angry, and then he hires some monsters to take out Trakeena. Kegler interrupts telling Deviot that Trakeena wants him to help Villemax.

AND THEN I GET DISTRACTED BECAUSE LEO AND KAI ARE SPARRING WITH SWORDS AND HIIIIIII. (Seriously, I have a ton of icons from this episode.) Sadly, instead of getting another 15 minutes of them sparring, Villemax interrupts to try and get Leo, and we get a fun instamorph. It's a pretty great fight scene! Kai manages to call for backup, but he gets blasted in the process. Then Deviot shows up and takes Kai hostage, and the other Rangers are ALREADY IN CHAINS. DID I MENTION THE CHAINS???

If Leo doesn't surrender, then the others will all be destroyed. The others yell for Leo not to do it, but Leo is not about to let his teammates be hurt, so he powers down, and tosses his sword and morpher away. (Kai is VERY ANGRY that they are putting their hands on his boyfriend.)

Leo gets teleported away, and Villemax is all "I gave my word, they go free." Because Villemax is GREAT. Deviot is all "fuck, you're LAWFUL EVIL?" Then we get a little distracted because Leo is all chained up again, and also his shirt has started ripping dramatically and he is being tortured and clearly there should be some comfort later.

Trakeena shows up and starts molesting Leo, and Leo is trying to explain why he did it, but Trakeena is all "now I will destroy everything, and I'm more powerful then my father was." She wants to throw Leo into a pit of lava (and um, Trakeena, please read the evil overlord handbook) and somehow Leo manages to capture a stingwinger and fly out of the lava pit? Sure. He starts running away, and Deviot points Villemax in the wrong direction. (Speaking of Villemax, I ship Villemax/Trakeena so hard.)

Deviot shows Trakeena the real direction, in the hope that Leo will destroy Trakeena like he destroyed her father, and of course, also sends his assassins after them.

Trakeena had somehow been planning for him to escape, because they both end up in a dome she prepared, and Leo DRAMATICALLY RIPS HIS SHIRT OFF AND IT IS THE MOST FANSERVICEY THING EVER but then they ruin it by having him morph. :-/ (He got his morpher back when he flew out of the lava pit.)

Anyway, the Trakeena vs Leo fight is pretty fun. The other Rangers are on their way, which is good for Leo, because Trakeena is kicking his ass. Trakeena is just about to kill him, when Deviot brings down the force field, and Trakeena gets attacked by the two monsters. Leo is all "crap, which side am I on?" Trakeena takes out one of the monsters, and right before she's about to find out from the other one who had hired them, Deviot blows them up. Gee, Trakeena, maybe this was a sign?

And Leo has taken advantage of the situation to escape. Good Leo. As he's being chased again, the other Rangers all come to the rescue. Trakeena blasts them with green energy and is about to destroy them, when the monster that Deviot has "destroyed" shows up and has grown. Trakeena leaves, and the Rangers summon the Fugazord to fight. Easy victory

Trakeena shows up again to swear dramatically that she will destroy them.

Villemax gives Deviot a present for coming to Trakeena's aid, because Villemax is totally in love with Trakeena and also his honor. He should hang out with some Klingons. Then Deviot is all "yes, we are friends" and then he destroys the dagger as soon as Villemax is out of sight. But WAIT. Someone is watching!

Fish: Leo ripping his shirt off dramatically automatically makes it a one fish episode. We've decided to institute that as a new rule.

Fic we want: VILLEMAX/TRAKEENA. Also, the comfort part of the hurt/comfort with Leo/everyone.

Episode 309 - Destined For Greatness

So Mike and his beautifully floppy hair are back!

Everyone is toasting Mike (oooh, champagne, want some) and Leo tells Mike that he knew he had survived. Mike has SUCH A SAD about it and recaps the whole Magna Defender arch again, because... it isn't like we just watched it? Okay, admittedly there was like four months between episodes or something. But now EVERYONE has a sad about the Magna Defender. Mike wonders how he is going to explain where he was, and everyone laughs, except for Leo, who has a sad.

Trakeena is sulking about how she can't battle the Rangers, and how her dad never lets her do anything. But he has a new plan, that is going to involve kidnapping, so you know I am all over this.

Leo is staring at the Quasar saber and having a sad, and Kendrix drives over in the cute little car. Leo is apparently waiting for Mike, and Kendrix isn't sure why Leo has a sad, when he has his brother back. Luckily, she is smart, and figures out that he's having the sad about which one of them is destined to use the saber, since Mike DID pull it from the stone and all.

Mike is all "life is short, smell the flowers, life needs to mean something" etc, and Leo is about to tell him about all the feelings, when there's an attack. We get some unmorphed fighting, which makes me really happy, and then the other four Rangers get kidnapped and caught in some mirrors or something. Leo gets injured (but one that sadly does not result in shirtlessness) and Mike forces them to retreat. He is totally protecting his little brother. ♥

Leo yells at Mike for making them retreat, but Mike is all "don't worry, my dog tags are magic tracking devices and I put one on a stingwinger" because apparently they're made out of a special metal and are the only ones on the station. Mike and Leo track down the monsters while the Rangers' energy is being used to make finger puppets that grow. We get some more unmorphed fighting!

During the fight, the saber gets knocked out of Leo's hands, and Mike picks it up, and hands it to him. Leo tells Mike that Mike deserves it, but Mike is all "no, you are the red ranger now." They argue about destiny and who is the one that deserves the sword, and it's pretty sweet and touching, and awww, boys!

Leo uses the saber to destroy one of the skeleton things, and Mike is all "there is no other red ranger" and while I'm sure there are 17 others who would argue with that, it is a very sweet moment.

Mike and Leo continue the unmorphed fighting for a while, and then the monster yells "you don't know who you're dealing with" and Leo replies "neither do you" and then shoots fireballs at him. It is so DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY and I love it. The other Rangers are able to escape, and it looks like Kendrix and Leo are about to make out. The five Rangers morphs and Mike is all "my brother and his friends are awesome" and he keeps fighting anyway, because his floppy hair is all the protection he needs.

The Rangers summon the fish of orion, and then the monster grows. The fugly megazord is having some trouble against the monster, and it gets trapped, and suddenly the Magna Defender shows up, and presents his sword to Mike. Now Mike can be a Ranger too! (Yes, I am on team Magna Defender is a Ranger, just so you know.) He transforms and gets the dramatic flowy cape and summons Torozord and saves the day!

Everyone is like "cool" and then Damon insults his zord choice, because Damon is great. Torozord does not agree. (Damon, I'm sorry, but it looks way less ridiculous then your zord does.)

There's a meeting of the Terra Venture higher up council of something, and we find out that they have traveled 5.6 lightyears and apparently that's almost to the next galaxy or something, because they fail to understand how space works. Mike shows up and interrupts the meeting to try to explain where he was (and fails miserably) and all of the ruling council people are just "I'm sure he has an explanation" because they are NOT STUPID and understand how sixth rangers work.

Fish: 2! Good job, Lost Galaxy! Please keep up the ridiculous cheesy brothers being awesome and what... wait... what episode is next? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Episode 302- The Magna Defender

Today on Power Rangers, it's Sixth Ranger Time! Wow, that was fast.

So Henchman Guy has found the Fish of Orion. Leo shows up in the cave. There is a fight. It's kind of boring, until the bad guy decides if he can't have the Fish, nobody can, so he BLOWS UP THE CAVE. He hugs Leo and blows up the whole freaking cave. It's kind of epic!

And then a new hero walks out of the smoke carrying now-demorphed Leo. He has horns. He's kind of awesome. Nevermind that he just saved Leo's life. It's all about the horns here.

Later, Leo is in hospital. With Alpha attending him and omg it's so adorable and hot at the same time (more shirtless!Leo please!). Leo wakes up and imagines it was his brother carrying him out of the cave, so Leo takes off. Shirtless! Any episode that starts off with Leo shirtless and horribly traumatized is a good episode in our book. I would totally be happy with a topless Damon and Kai, too, but I'll settle for just Leo.

Leo goes back to the cave and finds somebody mining something in the rocks, but he runs away when Leo calls out to him. Using his Plastic Sword of Swishyness, he breaks apart some rocks and finds what looks like a stone egg. Being smart and trusting his team, he takes it to Kendrix to examine. Because Kendrix is the smartest person on the team and totally knows Things.

On her way to examine the stone egg further, she gets attacked by a squat monster thing who tries to steal the stone egg, which turns out to be the Fish of Orion. The Magna Defender shows up to stop him and Kendrix is able to escape with the Fish. Good teamwork, guys! Except he asks for the fish from her (by holding out his hand) and then all the other rangers attack him. The squat monster thing attacks, Kendrix throws the Fish, and he runs away with it. Magna Defender really does NOT want to talk to them, so he stalks off in dramatic slow motion to dramatic music. With his cape swishing dramatically in the smoke. It's very dramatic, guys.

All the bad guys are now having a Fish of Orion party. They are doing EVERYTHING they can to break that rock open and having NO LUCK. Because the Fish totally aren't ready to come spilling forth from that rock yet. Most of the monsters hide while Big Hammer Guy takes on the rangers. The fight is interrupted by the Magna Defender, though! He comes on the scene in dramatic slow motion with dramatic music. It's all kinds of dramatic.

He's such a badass he totally wins it. He just kind of looks askance at the Sting Wingers and they all fall down. Because they know he'll just beat the crap out of them if they try. Leo keeps seeing his brother in everything the Magna Defender does, but he doesn't want to believe it. Because Mike is supposed to be dead and all. Poor Leo and his dead-brother-angst wishful thinking.

The Magna Defender then beats Hammer Guy with dramatic cape flowing and dramatic jumping and dramatic theme music and super dramatic big explosions. He also manages to split the rock and yet no Fish come pouring out. Because it's a fake! Which means now it's story time! Because 3,000 years ago, the Magna Defender released the Fish of Orion. He ended up trapped in a hole by Scorpius and his minions and now there is going to be an epic battle because he is Dramatic, in case you hadn't noticed.

Squat monster grows and the rangers call out the zords and there is a boring and, frankly, very fugly battle. Let's get back to Super Dramatic and Awesomely Horned Magna Defender, shall we? He's about to end his fight. Without weapons. Because he's just THAT much of a badass. Kai, being super awesome, suggests they work together. Kendrix points out they're working for the same thing and the Magna Defender gets REALLY angry, shoves her away, and says she has no idea what he's fighting for. Which, technically, is true. Leo realizes he's not Mike, logically this time, and has another sad.

3 fish. It wasn't fishy, just terribly dull.



(before anybody gets upset, I know the Magna Defender has a really really good reason for being all dramatic and angry. I would be too, and it's a trigger of mine, which is why TSB explained it in advance and is recapping that episode. I just love all the over-the-top effects)
(also, thank you, Rev, for remembering I have that particular trigger and giving the heads up that we are at that point)

Episode 292 - Countdown to Destruction

OH MY GOD, IT IS FINALE TIME.

So we start with Dark Specter telling Astronema that it is time for the FINAL BATTLE. EPIC FINALE IS EPIC, RIGHT? Astronema is talking to a giant army about how there will only be evil left and SERIOUSLY, EPIC. We get to see ALL THE OLD VILLAINS. The Machine Empire is there (and wow, I missed them) and then we see the forces of Divatox fighting the Aquitian Rangers (and where is Billy?) and Astronema yelling at Rita and Zedd (and they both sass her until Dark Specter's name is dropped) and HOW SO GREAT, SHOW. HOW SO GREAT.

Astronema talks to Zordon, and is all "mwahaha, running out of energy" and Zordon tells her she won't get away with it. We see another flash of Phantom and Blue Senturian being overrun by the Machine Empire and then Rita and Zedd and their putties and a TON of old monsters fighting on Triforia and HOLY CRAP, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A FINALE.

Even KO-35 (with Zhane back there) is again being destroyed. Zhane heads to Earth to find more Rangers to help, but of course he's attacked on his way back to Earth. Luckily for him, the Astro Megaship shows up to save the day at the last minute.

Andros and the others tell Zhane that it's not just the KO-35 rebels, it's ALL OVER the universe. Apparently there's a whole galaxy that has no defenses at all? Really? And of course, Earth is under attack. I wish they'd managed to bring back some old Rangers for this, because you KNOW that they were busy fighting during it. (I choose to believe that it happened and we just didn't get to see them.)

And I mean, seeing the GIANT ARMY of fighters show up in the sky is freaking amazing. Again, this is the finale that I judge all other finales by. Because WOW.

From space we can see that it isn't just Angel Grove - all over it being attacked, although it looks like things are concentrated in Angel Grove, of course. We're surprised that the rest of the world hasn't abandoned Angel Grove by now.

There's a decent space battle as they get ready to land, and Zhane offers to handle the space battle part as the Rangers fight on Earth. We get to see a LOT of buildings get destroyed, including some familiar sights.

Even still, the Rangers are TOTALLY OVERWHELMED. There are just SO MANY of them. They keep trying to evacuate people as they go, but like, where are they supposed to evacuate them to?

Andros goes all Battlizer in his ugly toy, and blows up a ton of stuff. Until Eclitpor knocks over his ugly toy, and Ashley and Andros get forcibly demorphed by Ecliptor and Darkonda. Once their powers fail, they run away.

Zhane isn't having much luck either, and then for some reason he just LEAVES THE MEGASHIP to launch his own zord? I guess Alpha is piloting the Megaship? He does get to smash a bunch of fighters with his fists though, and that's pretty cool. Of course, there are so many fighters that he falls over. Bad plan, Zhane!

the remaining Rangers also get demorphed and ugh, Carlos's arms. SO NICE. TJ calls for a retreat and they get chased by a bunch of Quantrons. The Rangers are all pretty beaten up, with Carlos trying to carry Cassie.

The citizens of Angel Grove appear to have been captured and are being escorted somewhere by Quantrons, and the Rangers (minus Zhane) all regroup. Darkonda is all pissed because he only has one life left, and then he launches his own ship to do something.

Astronema is talking to Dark Specter, when Darkonda attacks Dark Specter and BLOWS HIM UP, although Darkonda is destroyed (by Dark Specter) in the process. The forces of good would like to thank you, Darkonda, for doing everyone a favor.

Alpha contacts the Rangers to let them know that Dark Specter has been destroyed, and Ecliptor tells the universe that now Astronema is in charge. Divatox is SO PISSED OFF ABOUT IT. I love her. And then the whole universe bows to Astronema.

A little kid is told by his mother that they shouldn't worry, the Rangers will save them. Zordon tries to get through to Astronema, now that her programming should be failing, but her programming reasserts itself. At least Zordon's power is no longer being drained?

And just as Astronema gives the order to invade for real, we get the to be continued. THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS, SHOW.

Fish: 1.5 THAT IS HOW WE DO THIS.

Questions/fic we want: So, the other Rangers are doing WHAT during all this?

Episode 291- A Line In The Sand

So we knew, the minute we started this whole thing, that there would be some episodes that one or the other of us would be recapping, no questions asked, no matter what. Sometimes because it's an episode we love so very very much (like TSB gets all the Adam episodes, but Billy was mine), and sometimes because it's something the other hates so much they can't bear to recap it. This is the latter. I knew I would do this episode because it's the Andros/Ashley date episode. TSB hates them. I am ambivalent. So to save you from a capslocked recap of NO NO NO BAD, you'll get my rather lackluster "and the point of that was?"

We start the episode out with Andros and Ashley on a date. They walk hand in hand and have fancy leather jackets that apparently Andros just bought for Ashley and there are compliments and romance. Then Tiny Children let them play hopscotch and it's ADORABLE. Although why Tiny Children are out playing on the street in the dark clearly at night, I don't know. My kids would be in bed sleeping by that time, yo.

But then! Oh noes! A big SUV tries to run them over. On the sidewalk. And then they run away, round a corner, and decide to look for the SUV behind some boxes... because SUVs are often found hiding behind cardboard boxes. I have no clue what's going on. Hopefully they'll explain it (but I'm not holding my breath). The SUV drives off at 88 miles per hour. My theory is the SUV only acts this way because it read the script, realized it made no sense, argued with the writers, caved and did it's job anyway, and then never worked in the entertainment industry again. Poor SUV. It tried to make sense of this episode.

Back on the Megaship, Cassie tries to convince them it was just a crazy driver. Carlos is off having really nice arms while playing soccer instead of being concerned for them, and I definitely approve. We needed far more Carlos-plays-soccer this season than we actually got. He wanders off to get a wayward ball and then he gets sucked into a vortex by the big SUV. Clearly he's concerned about this SUV thing now. Somehow the rest of the team totally doesn't care that he vanished into the trees and never returned. And I thought the rangers were bad friends!

The SUV then comes for Cassie and TJ. There is morphed fighting the SUV (which kind of looks like half a Hummer? I don't know) and it's RIDICULOUS. Like, incredibly ridiculous. The vehicle is clearly trying to kill them and they just run from it instead of, I don't know, teleporting away. They get sucked into the red vortex and meet up with Carlos who explains the situation and lack of sense of this plot.

Apparently the car is named Tankenstein. Astronema hired it to capture the rangers. Clearly Andros and Ashley should be contacting Justin to come save them, but instead they go off to fight it on their own. In Ashley's car from Turbo (seriously show? You choose THIS episode to go with the whole continuity thing? Well okay, I won't look a gift horse in the mouth). There is more ridiculous morphed fighting with the SUV. Andros even has to call out his Super Ugly Stupid Muscle Suit to beat the darn thing. And they still manage to get sucked into the stupid vortex. Now all five of them are trapped on some weird desert world.

The Cocky Badass comes to the rescue AGAIN. There is no explanation of how he got there, how he knew where they were, where he came from, how he knew what was going on, why he knew to fight the SUV. He just comes in and does it because he's a Cocky Badass. Seriously, he's worse than Tommy.

There is a zord fight. They win. It's boring, until the big SUV manages to blow up MORE TOYS (dude, WORSE THAN TOMMY, guys... that's not a good thing!). All they have left is the Astro Megaship. They're all dirty and smoking and damaged, except for Cocky Badass, who is perfectly coiffed.

4.5 fish. The only thing saving this episode was Carlos and his pretty pretty arms playing soccer.

Episode 284 - Five of a Kind

So we open with Dark Spectre being all "Astronema, go be HBIC and attack Earth." That is totally the best way to start an episode.

The Rangers break out the awesome chess set again, and take off the Psycho Pink. Then TJ is all "WAIT. I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT." He realizes that if they keep fighting same colors, they are screwed. Just mix up the colors! Because TJ is brilliant and proving how he is an awesome blue, and doing the strategy thing. GO TJ. This is why he was such an awesome Red Ranger.

So an alarm goes off and they head to fight the Psycho Rangers, with their plan to switch colors on them. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop the Psychos from still going after their counterparts, and soon the battle goes back to color vs color. Then Zhane shows up, late as always. Is this a sixth ranger thing or something?

Psycho Blue scores a lucky hit on TJ, who goes down hard, and it's only Zhane showing up at the last minute that prevents him from getting his head chopped off.

Luckily for TJ, Dark Spectre is all "SOMEONE IS DRAINING MY POWERS NOW" so Astronema has to pull the Psychos back.

TJ wakes up in the med lab, and damn, nice arms. TJ is very sad that his plan didn't work, but everyone is like "YOU STAY IN THE MED LAB. YOU ARE HURT." Also, Cassie looks very worried about him, hovering over his bed, and I ship them so hard.

The Psychos are arguing about why they got pulled back, and they're planning on going after the Rangers with or without Astronema. She is so pleased by this.

CASSIE BRINGS TJ BREAKFAST IN BED AND THERE IS A FLOWER. SHIP THEM SHIP THEM SHIP THEM. ALL THE HURT/COMFORT. ALL OF IT.

Except TJ isn't in bed, he's busy watching the battle to figure out new strategies. Except on the recording, the color suddenly goes out, and TJ comes up with ANOTHER new plan, because he is brilliant. He spraypaints all the pieces on the chess board blue, so they won't know their true colors.

OH MY GOD HE HAS NICE ARMS. Those jackets hide them. BUT DAMN, NICE ARMS.

So all the Rangers go down disguised as blue rangers, and I wonder how they managed to make all their costumes blue. And it's not like they disguise the voices. And with color theory and all, I wonder if the others are uncomfortable wearing blue. And like, how did the girls ditch the skirts? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Yellow Psycho is like "whatever, I'm not even trying. I'll wait until they're done."

Then Silver Psycho appears or something, and he attacks the Rangers, and the Psychos are SO ANNOYED with that. So they attack Psycho Silver, and then Psycho Blue blasts Psychos Red and Black in the back.

Psycho Silver is revealed as Zhane, and the five blue rangers all assemble and Zhane and TJ blast Psycho Blue. Why is Zhane getting to be all awesome? This is TJ's moment of glory! So Psycho Blue gets to grow and the toys show up to battle. And then it's snowing or something? Are they still in California? Why so cold?

(SERIOUSLY, WHY SO COLD. I hate cold.) (QR is mocking me, she loves the cold. She's also wrong.)

Apparently Psycho Blue is trying to freeze them, so they just turn up the heat and the ice melts off the zord, and could I get that system, because SO COLD. I am going to freeze when I go home to NY for two weeks.

So they destroy blue and call Zhane a Psycho and Astronema is like "pfft, one is enough to destroy the Rangers." Astronema threatens the Psychos and is all "Here is the plan" and they are so terrified of her. So great.

The Rangers are all prepping for battle and doing something technical. Whatever it is, it should be awesome.

Andros is busy having a sad about Karone. Look, she's all Of Borg at the moment. And he's being emo. If QR was doing this recap, she'd be a lot more sympathetic. But I am not.

Fish: 2! TJ has a plan! He is great!

Fic we want: TJ is so badass. TJ/Cassie! Lasting effects of wearing the wrong color!

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 224 - Passing the Torch - Part 2

After an actual decent cliffhanger (Seriously, why wasn't THIS the cliffhanger episode instead of the boring one?) the three park Rangers morph (and Tanya gets to say it, which is seriously so awesome) and Adam temporarily defeats the monster by throwing water on him.

Cassie and TJ have come to Kat's rescue and they are so ridiculously awesome, I can't even stand it. The other Rangers show up and get the rest of the Pirahnatrons out of the way, and convince TJ and Cassie to leave, while TJ practically has a fangasm and Cassie is all concerned about Kat.

Meanwhile, Tommy is all tied up and suspended (and I approve so hard), while Mama D opens up the Vortex of Eternal Doom and Sorrow. UM, HOW AWESOME IS MAMA D? I love that she's clearly the head of the family and when Divatox is all "I think I hear Dad in there" she's just all "He asked for it." I would frankly read millions of words about the crazy awesome of Mama D. (And seriously, I love that all the villains in power this season are women. Rita was great, but we never saw her MOM.) So Divatox leaves Tommy suspended over the Vortex with rats chewing through the ropes. Oh, honey, no, haven't you ever read the villain handbook? Don't just leave him there to swing, just THROW HIM IN.

Dimitria is telling the other Rangers some nonsense about time running out and their most important mission ever, and nope, still can't find Tommy. They go fight the monster that's apparently recharged since Adam threw water on it.

TJ is telling Cassie about how he wanted to be a Ranger when he was a kid, and our brains start to hurt from timeline issues. We eventually decided that he was either a) talking about from when the Aquitians were there or b) meant when he was a kid he wanted to be a superhero and then just changed it to Power Rangers when he was like 12. Cassie wanted to be Tina Turner instead. TJ discovers a trail of slime, and assumes it leads to Tommy, but Cassie is all "Nope, bus. Sorry." Of course, she promptly comes back to kick some ass and save him, because she is awesome, and her parents told her never to leave a friend behind, and they're friends now, right? I SHIP THEM SO HARD.

Meanwhile, in Angel Grove, Adam and Tanya (morphed) tell Carlos and Ashley to get all the kids to safety. For some reason the Youth Center has cots set up in it. I guess in case the battle extends into the night or something? Maybe this is how the Youth Center makes its money - it gets a stipend from the city for being a monster shelter.

TJ and Cassie then go rescue Tommy!!!! Because they are awesome and wonderful and I love them. (Suddenly, Cassie is totally going "... why did my bus ticket just magically change itself to Angel Grove?") Tommy thanks them and then goes and morphs and the Rangers all beat the monster and seriously, the Zord fight is not the important thing about this episode.

Because back at the Power Chamber time is running out. We're assuming this is the countdown until the first of the Rangers has to leave for college or something. But more importantly, Zordon and the REAL Alpha are there to see them off!

Tommy passes his power to TJ, Kat passes hers to Cassie, Tanya to Ashley, and Adam to Carlos.

You know us. We're usually not the best with power transfers, as in usually we spend the whole recap complaining about it. But this time we were all "YAY IT'S TJ AND CASSIE DAY!!!!!!" And it isn't because we don't love the characters who were leaving - hi, Adam is my FAVORITE EVER and Tanya is in my top 5. But the dynamic of the Turbo team really just didn't work. And besides, Tommy has to go off and race cars and then get a PhD in 7 years so we can get the DT team, and Kat can go do that ballet thing, while Adam and Tanya get married and Tanya becomes super famous and Adam opens a dojo with Rocky.

So basically - YAY NEW TEAM. And I am going to thoroughly enjoy my season of Carlos/Ashley before Andros comes along.

Fish: 2! This is a good sign for the rest of the season, right?

Fic we want: Conversations with the senior rangers explaining the situation to the new team.

Episode 204- Good As Gold

Today on Power Rangers- Rita and Zedd have a good plan, Bulk and Skull make their Fake!Daddy sad, and Rocky can't win life.

Subplot first because it doesn't really fit in with the rest. Bulk and Skull are cleaning because, for some reason, Detective Stone doesn't trust them with their own case. GEE I WONDER WHY. They get a note inside a balloon to meet somebody in the park at 4pm. They go in drag and Bulk's old lady voice is PURE GOLD. There is a random bad-French inspector who offers them a job. They take it, and go to Detective Stone to quit. Skull is very sad. Detective Stone is even more sad. HIS SADFACE, I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU. It broke my heart. Fake!Daddy will miss them.

We start off the main plot with Tommy teaching some teenagers in the Youth Center. I was unaware he was still teaching. Adam is too, apparently, and Jason must have started because everybody keeps wondering where he is. Even Emily shows up looking for him! He was supposed to meet her to show her some martial arts move but never showed. This kind of bothers me, actually. Why must ALL the girlfriends "learn some martial arts"? Can't one of them, at some point in time, just say "Hey, I really love watching your moves. But martial arts just isn't for me, sorry." and then go play soccer or read a book or something? GIRLS HAVE THEIR OWN INTERESTS OUTSIDE OF THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS INTERESTS SHOW. Seriously. Does everything have to revolve around martial arts in Angel Grove?

Ahem. Anyway. So Jason is apparently fighting a bunch of cogs in the forest. Mondo is there. Then Rita and Zedd are there. Then there are Tengas there, too. I'm beginning to wonder if this is a dream. Jason never uses his communicator. Zordon never notices something is amiss and calls for backup. JASON IS LEFT TO FIGHT ALL OF THAT ON HIS OWN. FAIL ZORDON. Major fail. Luckily, there is fighting between the Tengas and the Cogs which gives Jason a chance to run away. He makes it to the Youth Center, barely, where he promptly passes out on the floor. Everyone crowds around him. Ernie says he'll call an ambulance. YES. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN AN OTHERWISE HEALTHY YOUNG MAN COLLAPSES IN YOUR BUSINESS ESTABLISHMENT. Tommy tells him not to bother and they take Jason away. NO TOMMY. YOU CALL THE AMBULANCE AND DEAL WITH THE FALLOUT LATER.

Zordon and Alpha analyze Jason, showing off his very, very pretty arms, and discover the powers are leaving him and draining him of his life force in the process. They must contact Triforia and get the Treys there to fix things. Except Trey hasn't been able to form back into one. He cannot take the powers. Zordon knows of a way he can bounce a communication beam off a specific spot on Triforia, Aquitar, and Earth and it can restore Trey to one. Luckily that spot happens to be in Angel Grove. Except that makes no sense and really wouldn't work. Not in any way, shape, or form.

Jason is determined to try, however, so Tommy and Adam support him while Kat and Rocky lead with the map Alpha gave them. The Treys just kind of follow along. They are attacked by cogs, however, and everybody runs as fast as they can towards the right spot. Jason calls on the Gold Ranger staff and uses it to beat cogs about the head. He is too weak to fight, though, and Rocky has to teleport in right in front of him to take the blows meant for him. OH ROCKY. I COULDN'T LOVE YOU MORE THAN I DO RIGHT NOW. (the whole jumping in front to take the beating meant for somebody else? Yeah, it's a thing I love) Jason makes it to the correct spot and, surrounded by the Treys, manages to catch the beam bouncing back from the planets. Y'know, the planets that are millions of light years away. SCIENCE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS. NOT EVEN CLOSE TO LIKE THIS.

The powers transfer to a newly unified Trey and Jason sits out the rest of the fight. The fight where Mondo is HUGE and then the rangers grow HUGE as well. They win the fight and Mondo runs away. Whereupon he finds Rita and Zedd waiting to deliver a present to them after stoking their ego a lot. Sprocket takes it, Zedd says he'll "catch them on the flipside" (awwwwKim), and they run far far away. The present explodes. The rulers of the Machine Empire are in pieces. Literally.

Back on Earth, Jason is semi-emo on a hill. Tommy comes to talk to him and is very bad at the "Losing your powers sucks, but we'll always be friends" speech. At least he tries, though. Jason says it's okay. Things aren't that bad. He has Emily. They walk off into the sunset together, so ten years down the line they can have their only son and name him Schuyler, but everybody will call him Sky.

Poor Rocky. Once again, left behind by his boyfriend for a girl.

4.5 fish. The science fail was overwhelming in this episode.

Fic we want: A GOOD Tommy and Jason powers/it's okay talk.

Episode 195- Where in the World is Zeo Ranger 5

Today on Power Rangers... Tommy is Super Awesome and Everything to Everyone. Sprocket is whiny and has jealousy issues with Gasket. Rito and Goldar are put in charge of fixing the RV (and we all know how that will turn out). And Bulk and Skull win back Detective Stone's trust in guarding his expensive machines thanks to Gasket.

We start off with a very long Tommy-is-awesome montage. Because clearly this show has not had enough of them up to this point. He's on a wave runner in the lake and Kat is really nervous for some reason. Jason and Emily admire Tommy. Jason is very pretty and hot damn does he have some nice arms. Jason, be on my screen more often, please.

Bulk and Skull are put in charge of Detective Stone's wave runner. This is also not going to end well (and doesn't, because Gasket turns it into the monster of the week). Luckily it is restored in better working order, so Bulk and Skull finally gain Detective Stone's trust. FINALLY.

Mid-ride, and just at the end of the Tommy-is-awesome montage, Tommy is kidnapped! I missed that tag. This happens to him rather a lot. Kat and Jason run off to a random wave runner and go searching the lake. Tommy is nowhere to be found and in a shout out to the name of this episode, they wonder where in the world he's gone. Kat uses her brain and contacts Zordon immediately. Clearly she is the smarts of this episode. Unfortunately, Billy is on Triforia being an Intergalactic Spy, so he's not going to be able to help. Alpha discovers Tommy has been teleported off planet, however the fish are blocking his signal. With a barcode scanner with flashy lights detection device, they can find the remnants of the signal and trace it back.

So, as TSB put it, "The fish are blocking everything, but maybe you can find the right fish in the lake." This... makes a weird sort of sense for Power Rangers...

Anyway, Jason and Kat get attacked by cogs while searching for this signal. They do not call the other rangers. Adam and Tanya must be busy doing... each other. Rocky is probably busy wondering why Jason is hanging out with Kat instead of studying anatomy with him. Poor Rocky gets left out of everything now. So the cogs break the scanner and then Kat screams for Tommy Jason. Tommy Jason rushes to her side, a cog sticks his tongue out at them, and then they vanish. Kat and Jason are left wondering what's going on.

Gasket sends down a monster, whom Sprocket is sure is not powerful enough to beat the rangers (but Gasket doesn't believe him, because what does Sprocket know... he's just an inexperienced kid... I have sibling issues as well). The monster knocks people unconscious by spraying them with a water hose. ALL the rangers go after him this time and he likes to taunt them, apparently. He calls Jason a second rate substitute for a leader. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA NO. Jason did it first and Jason did it BETTER. Sprocket is subtlely cheering the rangers on. I love that about him.

Apparently the monster proves too tough because he sprays them, they get disoriented, and then the rangers pull a Sir Robin and bravely run away. Alpha gives them some weed medication in an oxygen mask and Rocky totally hits that up. Then they all go back to fight some more.

This monster has a boomerang. Which he threatens to use a lot, but then charges at the rangers instead of, y'know, THROWING IT. Gasket makes him grow and Tanya is all "We need Tommy!" But no! Alpha, in a rare burst of continuity, remembers the remote for the white falcon zord, and says there is one of the zeo zords as well and they can use that. Tanya should have been upset by this, seeing as they could have used it when she was called away from rescuing her parents, but whatever. Anyway, as expected, the rangers win. Sprocket pulls an "I told you so" to his big brother. *pats Sprocket*

Back at the lake, Kat and Jason are trying to see if there are still fish. And there ARE! Are we at all surprised? OF COURSE NOT. They take the data back to Alpha who uses it to track down Tommy. Except he's getting "unusually high brainwaves" from Tommy. This would be because normally he doesn't get ANY brainwaves from Tommy. :P

We end this episode with a gratuitous shot of Tommy, morphed (why... he was kidnapped off his wave runner in a bathing suit and life jacket), a device on his head, his legs spread wide, and in clearly what is a lot of pain. I'm sure there is bad and wrong fic about this somewhere (no, I don't want to read it).

This episode had far too little Rocky-and-Jason on the same screen, and no Billy. This makes me sad.

3 fish. They were all in that barcode scanner device.

Episode 164- Invasion of the Ranger Snatchers

So this episode is the trippiest episode EVER. Like, it's even trippier than A Clockwork Orange, okay? And I'm glad we did this tonight, a day late, instead of last night, when we usually do, because I'm not sure I could have handled this supremely awesome and yet uber-WEIRD episode on the last night of Chanukah (in which there were piles of latkes and roast chicken and beer and gelt and dreidel and presents and very pretty candles and my new favouritest holiday story EVER, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming).

I... don't know if I can explain this episode.

Rocky, Tanya, and Kat are going to be extras in some movie/tv show/filming production of some sort. Rocky wants to be the star, though, and swears up and down he can act, he really really can, and I can't help but combine character and actor here because, no, Steve, honey, you can't. You really really can't. But you're VERY pretty in your blue not-really-a-toga and you have VERY lovely arms, so I can forgive the horrendous overacting. I'd watch him walk around in a toga any day of the week. Ahem.

Moving on. Bulk and Skull get placed on guard duty for said film production. Skull wants to be in the show, but Bulk keeps him on the straight and narrow. Daw. Sprocket, in his ever annoying whine, wants to make a movie of HIS OWN. So, despite the nails-on-a-chalkboard-grating whine, he comes up with a really good plan. He's going to make a movie, and trap the rangers in it! Good thinking, kid. Drop the entitled whinging, and I might actually like you.

Cogs end up at the production site to kidnap Rocky, Tanya, and Kat. Except everybody mistakes them for extras in costume and, despite Rocky trying to warn them, Director Guy puts them on set. They try to take out the main actor hero guy, but Rocky steps in and saves the day. Because he's AWESOME like that. He calls for Kat and Tanya, who have remained completely oblivious during all this (I maintain they were back behind one of the trailers "getting to know each other"). They run off set and morph, really failing at that secret identity thing.

Meanwhile, at the Youth Center, Billy has been super sweet and created a workout program for Adam and Tommy, using their biorhythms or something like that. It gets increasingly difficult based on what their bodies tell his program. There is lots of gratuitous rolling and sparring and then they get called to help the others. Billy goes to the Power Chamber to investigate while Adam and Tommy go to fight cogs.

Except somehow they get sucked into Sprocket's movie. Where they sit on a weird Alice in Wonderland room for awhile. Nothing can get in, and nothing can get out. They agree to play along with Sprocket's plan because, well, nothing else is working I guess? But it's just... ODD. Like, I can't even begin to explain what happens.

Somehow there is a room where things happen. Then Tommy and Tanya have to go do something through a doorway in another section of Sprocket's "movie studio". Billy gets a message through, and Adam declares that he must find Tommy and Tanya in order to live happily ever after. And a new threesome ship is born. So they all find each other.

But then they find chickens! Which came through a portal of some sort. Because a bus in the "real world" pushed them through. So the rangers all go through the portal. Into the "real world". Where they end up on horses chasing the bus. There are children crying in the bus, except there are no passengers on the bus whatsoever, which we discover when they all jump through the bus windows. They jump OUT of the bus holding onto adult passengers that came out of nowhere, and the bus goes over a cliff and explodes. The people vanish. But they're in the real world now? Or they think they're in the real world? I don't... um... yeah.

So they all think they've rewritten Sprocket's script and they get a happy ending and they're free. Except they're attacked in really bad splicing by four monsters. And they call the zords, which they shouldn't be able to do if they were in the movie world, but then what happened with the bus couldn't have happened in the real world so... fish? Definitely fish. Oceans and oceans FULL of fish.

I just call really bad FISH trip for the whole rest of the episode.

At some point the four monsters end up being a train, which they defeat by destroying the tracks. And that destroys Sprocket's plan and they win for the episode. Somehow.

Look, I said I didn't know how to explain this episode! And I meant it. It's seriously like they were all on a really bad acid trip when they tried to write it. We're just writing it off as a lot of fish and the rangers changed the plot of the episode. So there.

So back on the actual movie set, Rocky is all excited to do his first stunt. But this is where Rocky learns about stuntmen. Because he doesn't get to do it. His stand-in does. Meaning Skull. AWWWWWWWW.

I... am not quite sure what I just watched. But it was fun!

Fish: 5. 5 5 5 5 5. I haven't seen such a confusing, bad trip in... um... ever.

Episode 149 - The Alien Trap

Previously, on Power Rangers - Delphine and the Aquitian Rangers are awesome. Billy is an adult again, so we get some eye candy. There is angst over lack of water.

I do like the credits for this miniseason, except why don't the Aquitian Rangers get to be in the credits? That is ridiculous.

The episode opens with Tommy and Kat standing over Billy's science experiment. There's a ton of exposition, and frankly, I have no idea how Tommy is able to pronounce all of that stuff anyway. The device is going to do something to turn Earth water into Aquitian water. It's a vaguely freaky looking device, but this in no way makes what happens next ok.

Crazy grandma comes over and starts deciding that tiny children (and they're like 10) should not be allowed to be playing with science experiments. She starts ranting about handing them (and the experiment) over to the proper authorities and starts going on about irresponsible parenting. I think she needs a copy of Free Range Kids.

Luckily, a confrontation is prevented by the arrival of Billy! Who tells the annoying grandma that Tommy and Kat are his little brother and sister and he told them to stop playing with his experiments. Then he threatens to take away their allowance. It is pretty much the best thing ever.

Then we pause to wonder how they explained the disappearance of baby!Billy. The fish are strong with this one.

There's a lot more exposition (mostly delivered by Ms. Accent Fail) and we ignore it because we're distracted by Billy's arms. Nice arms.

Up at the Command Center, Cestro needs to rehydrate. For some reason the only place this will work is at the abandoned part of Angel Grove lake? Look, IDEK, fish.

Everyone is at the lake, and the Aquitian Rangers have discovered ice pops. Then they wander over to the lake where they discover Bulk and Skull fishing. They're horrified by this and attack Bulk and Skull, knocking them into the water.

Um. They're from a water planet. Are there really no predators on the water planet? Do they just eat plankton? Or do they just eat the water? I...I... FISH.

Zedd sends Rito and Goldar down to bother the Rangers, and they easily beat them. Zedd then realizes that the flaw in his plan is that they keep relying on Rito and Goldar, so he instead sends down surfer monsters. Who are going to put Lunar Toxins in the lake.

They're going to dump space shit into the lake, you guys. I don't even KNOW.

The Aquitians fly (WHY DO THEY FLY? THEY ARE FROM A WATER PLANET) and stand on the water (WHY? They are supposed to be ABSORBING IT. Shouldn't they be IN IT?) and start to rehydrate when the water gets all polluted by the space shit.

It turns purple, and we realize what they were really dumping. They were poisoning the lake with leftovers from Ivan Ooze.

Rita then delivers the best line in the episode - "look at the little fish squirm." Indeed they do, Rita. Indeed they do. Because the Rangers are about to steal back the device keeping the Aquitians in the poisoned water by playing tag. And Rito falls for it.

Then Zordon contacts the Aquitian Rangers telepathically and they have to go off and fight, even though they're weak. Because they are Rangers.

Sorry, just got something in my eye. There is a thing that I love, ok?

(Speaking of things I love - David Yost in a wetsuit. Hi there.)

The Aquitian Rangers morph, and then combine their powers to summon Captain Aquitar, and we're straight to a very long Zord fight. It's cool, just because I still like the telepathically controlled Zords, but they summon the Shogun Zords and then the fire sword, and yeah, dead monsters.

The episode ends with Billy saying he can't rebuild the device (... even though he built the original in like, a day, and he already has the plans for it) and the Aquitians have to go back to Aquitar. But they promise that they will be back.

Fish: FIVE. One fish for each Aquitian Ranger!

Episode 138- Another Brick In The Wall

Today is apparently the start of Kat being a Very Special Snowflake on the Ranger team. I don't dislike Kat, but this episode starts to show why I never actively sought out her episodes after the first run on tv. It's the first in the migration from team-oriented episodes, or at least attempting to showcase the others in a ranger-specific episode.

We start with Adam and Tommy sparring. Kat comes up with a model home in her hands. It's apparently a model for a restoration project she's taking part in and she designed it herself. It's a very small, modest house, with a HUGE three to four car garage (seriously, two equal sized garage doors and the garage itself is the same size as the entire house). We theorize this project creates houses for people who have been displaced by monster attacks.

Rita is disgusted at how goody-goody Kat has become. Goldar makes some snide comments and Rita defends Rito, saying what a big help he's been and how he's done more for her than Goldar and Zedd combined. Aw, Rita loves her brother! That's sweet.

Back on Earth, Kat has taken lessons from Aisha in How To Run Things. She is wearing a pink hard hat (in the Youth Center) and ordered about thirty people around. Apparently there is nobody to paint, however, and I have to wonder... what is wrong that not one of these thirty people can pick up a paintbrush or roller? Really? That's a lot of people for just landscaping. I won't complain too much. We get some nice shots of Adam and Billy's arms, though the episode is sadly lacking in flexing Rocky.

Anyway, everybody gets to work on this big brick wall and gardening and the place looks great. Kat is going to stay behind to take pictures, but meet up with everybody later. She's not worried about things because she has Bulk and Skull (covered in soap and goodness knows what else, and currently knocked unconscious under a tree, which nobody seems concerned either) to protect her, and I bristle. Don't tease the poor boys. It's cruel.

As soon as everybody leaves, Tengas and Rito show up. They wake up Bulk and Skull and chase them away while destroying as much of the work as possible. Kat fights for awhile but then remembers she has a communicator and calls Zordon. He sends the others in and they fight for a bit. I love the Ninja powers, but I really miss the unmorphed fights. Rito and the Tengas go away as Rita calls down a new monster. She takes a section of the brick wall and turns it into the monster, just another brick in the wall.

They morph and fight, but the brick monster turns first Aisha and Adam, and then Tommy and Rocky into bricks. Kat and Billy are the last ones standing. We can only assume Rocky is not the last one standing because the rangers were not turned into balls this time, unlike... well... all the other times. Kat and Billy collect the bricks and teleport to the Command Center while the monster runs around eating building supplies.

Zordon discovers the rangers are not actually bricks, but rather have been shrunken and encased in bricks. Billy suggests they erode the bricks away to release their teammates and Kat, having learned about erosion in architecture class (not science? In like, second grade? Really?), agrees to help. But alas, the monster is terrorizing Angel Grove and so Billy goes to fight it, leaving Kat to do all the science-y stuff.

Now here's my thing. Billy is the science-guy. Billy is the genius. Billy is the chemist. Shouldn't Billy have been the one to stay and free the others? But no. KAT gets to do it because KAT is super special and knows all about erosion and Kat had a random moment of guilt so she has to absolve herself of... I'm not sure what. She and Alpha manage to use pollution to erode the bricks (OMG they're all going to die of cancer now... what, wouldn't WATER have worked???) and release the other rangers.

But wait! She's too late. Because Billy is a BADASS and manages to defeat the monster ALL ON HIS OWN. He is now on fighting-level-AWESOME with Kim. Go Billy! And... all the others thank Kat profusely and only remember to say "Hey, good job, Buddy" when Kat talks up Billy's awesomeness.

Back at the restoration sight, everybody is standing around waiting on the mayor. Lt. Stone comes up wondering what's taking so long, having sent Bulk and Skull to find out who stole all the building materials (because he didn't believe a monster took them... what, is he new to Angel Grove or something?). Just then, Bulk and Skull come up having restrained a woman in a nice suit carrying a golden shovel. They insist she's the thief even though she says she's the mayor, and Lt. Stone turns about four shades of red in anger because, uh, she actually is the mayor. They release her and apologize while she tells Kat what a great job she did. Kat is handed the useless golden shovel.

And that was a short episode clocking in at only 19 minutes. Wow.

4 fish. The pollution thing? Just flat out ridiculous. And dangerous.