Episode 261- The Delta Discovery

Did you know we just hit 100 followers? That's right, 100 of you read our craziness. And not just because you have to, but because you want to! You guys are so awesome! I never thought we'd reach this point. Thank you, all of you, for taking the time to read our recaps. It means a lot!

And hey guys! We get Divatox again! And today I link to Star Wars instead of Star Trek. For a change.

So Divatox has Zordon in his tube thingy and he's being consumed by lava. LAVA IS EATING HIM. It's... special. But we get to see Divatox again so that's all good! The Phantom Menace Ranger is observing. He sends a recorded transmission out. "Help me, Power Rangers. You're my only hope!" Yeah, he's totally Leia.

So the Rangers go to his coordinates, where he has confronted Divatox. But then Astronema comes in and takes Zordon away, sending her goons to attack. The Rangers are all concerned about Zordon but really guys? You met him all of once! We're of the opinion Tommy and Adam kept in touch, because they're totally addicted and couldn't just give up the power, and have spoon fed the new Rangers stories of Zordon and his epic fails.

Meanwhile, Divatox must grovel to Maligore Dark Specter for her job, while Astronema gets all the credit. She runs off in the ship with Zordon. Phantom continues to fight. It's all very dramatic. Or not. Mostly because I don't like Phantom. Ecliptor shows up to take out Phantom (YAY!) but then the Rangers show up and stop him (SAD!). He runs away.

But then there is a crocodile monster thingy in the lake on Earth. It's totally stalking random guys on the beach. This episode is all over the place. The Rangers go back to Earth instead of chasing after Zordon, except Andros has to go get something by himself. Phantom hands him an iPod and Andros goes off on his own. Phantom collapses, badly damaged, with wires and circuitry and stuff hanging out. So... is he a robot? Or is that just his suit? In which case he isn't all that damaged after all.

On Earth there is a random fight with the crocodile monster thing. It molests the boys a little and then grows big and there are zords and WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???? Suddenly there are two crocodile monster things and they decide they need some help. They ought to be able to handle this on their own, but since when has this show been terribly consistent? Oh well.

Somehow Andros has caught up to the Delta Megaship. He was on his GALAXY GLIDER. AND HE CAUGHT UP TO THE SHIP. IN DEEP SPACE. He traveled light years in seconds WHILE ON A SURFBOARD. The lack of even attempting science in this BOTHERS ME.

Andros must insert a tiny cd from the iPod into a slot, but he doesn't know which one and Phantom won't respond. He picks one and there are red flashy lights and it was apparently just scanning it? That... is special. Now the Delta Megaship is his and he takes it to Earth to fight off the two crocodile monster things. It transforms as it enters the atmosphere. And it has a lot of guns. Which is also... special. They totally win. Are we surprised? I didn't think so.

Dark Specter yells at Astronema for failing him. He threatens to crush her in her sleep if she fails again. It's all good. She has a PLAN.

The Rangers head back to where they left Phantom, hoping to help him. He left another communication for them to let them know he's left to follow Dark Specter. Cassie has a sad because her imaginary boyfriend left. She ought to try to focus on a REAL boyfriend who can be PRESENT in her life. Except Phantom won't let her because he totally left her a message all her own, letting her know he's okay and please don't forget him. LET THE GIRL MOVE ON, DUDE.

3 fish. The science fail is strong with this one.

Episode 234 - Clash of the Megazords

Seriously, is this arch over yet?

Previously, the only thing worth mentioning is the Monster Tour. And also the Rangers got some new zords, General Havoc serves them tea, Cassie is not a sparklepire, and maybe the Phantom is going to die? Whatever.

Justin is searching for the space base and everyone is concerned about Divatox using the ruby. TJ and Cassie (\o/) go to the spot where the Phantom's tunnels were, and then ask to be teleported into the tunnel. Cassie is SO not dressed for sewer work. They easily find the Phantom and his ship, but he's unconscious.

Porto and his goons are working on the Megazord and Divatox talks more about her plan. We get distracted by talking about how Phantom could be Billy, and the reason he needs the ruby is because it's what's keeping him young. It's a theory, anyway. (And one we would like better if it didn't mean Billy/Cassie.)

TJ comes up with a plan to attract Divatox's space base with a magnet. This plan makes no sense, but TJ is such an awesome red, and we adore him. More of TJ! Also, I enjoy that Ashley is good at tech stuff.

Porto has installed some batteries on the Turbo Megazord for some reason. IDEK. Megazord vs Megazord fights are usually fun, though, so I'm looking forward to that.

The Rangers use their device to lock onto the space base, and Divatox fires at them in return. Also, Elgar gets hit with a frying pan. Divatox sends down a monster, who breaks the magnet with his face. Divatox then launches the Turbo Megazord.

The monster is piloting the Turbo Megazord, and so the Rangers call the Village People Zords. It's Zord vs Zord! (For some reason the monster tells the Rangers that the ruby is in the battery pack.)

Alpha warns them not to destroy the Zord or they risk destroying the Phantom Ranger. There's a pause in the fighting because the batteries need to recharge because apparently they took lessons from Serpenterra or something.

TJ decides to go use lightning cruiser to get the battery, which is a pretty decent plan, although it causes Carlos to point out that TJ is either the bravest guy or the craziest. Or both.

Just as the Turbo Zord was about to destroy the Village People Zord, TJ shows up and fights the monster inside the Turbo Megazord, and then on top of the battery pack. See, if TJ hadn't been all "one person only" then TJ could have fought the mosnter while someone else grabbed the ruby. But TJ manages to win and grab the ruby anyway, and the Turbo Megazord is returned to their control.

TJ is all "great job pretending to be helpless!" and Carlos is "... yeah! That was totally the plan!"

Divatox makes the monster grow, and we get more fight scenes. This is super long, and super high fight content. But wow, that's a lot of artillery that they're using on that monster.

They restore the Phantom Rangers ruby, and he's fine. He only thanks Cassie. What a jerk. He leaves and is all "I go where I'm needed."

Cassie is all "So if we need you again?" and he responds with "I will always remember you." She smiles. THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION. Can we please get back to TJ/Cassie now?

Fish: 4. Mostly because it was high fight and SUPER BORING.

Episode 233 - The Fall of the Phantom

Previously on power Rangers - that was really boring. Oh, and they're going to try and kill the Phantom ranger.

We begin with Cassie sitting on the steps in the high school, blocking everyone's path, and dreaming about the Phantom Ranger. She's interrupted by Principal Caplan, who tells her that she should be studying, especially since she apparently asked Ms. Appleby if she could take a test at a later date since she was busy with other interests. Yeah, they totally know that she's a Ranger, and that's the only way she's getting away with this nonsense, even though Caplan is all "maybe you should take an interest in school."

Meanwhile, Divatox and Havoc are plotting to kill the Phantom by stealing his ruby.

Cassie and Ashley are both worried about a test, but then Cassie gets a note in her locker telling her to meet at the park, and she immediately realizes its from the Phantom Ranger and ditches to go meet him. Of course, it wasn't actually the Phantom, and she ends up kidnapped by havoc and tied up with vines. \o/ We're totally counting this as tentacle porn, y'all.

Bulk and Skull are trying to convince Carlos, Ashley, and TJ to be Rangers for the tour. Then they mock Justin, telling him that he's way too short to be a Ranger. I cannot stop laughing. Really, this whole monster tour arc is the best ever.

The Rangers are totally concerned about Cassie missing, because she's not Tommy. Havoc calls the Power Chamber and tells them that he has Cassie under a sleeping spell but he'll trade her for the Phantom. Justin easily locates Cassie, but Dimitria warns them that it might be a trap. They ignore her and head out anyway.

See, TJ really just needs to kiss Cassie so she'll wake up. Instead, there's some sparkles sprinkled on her to turn her into stone. SHE'S A SPARKLEPIRE!!!!! TJ is so distressed.

Phantom shows up too late, and he pulls out his power ruby and somehow by shining its power over her it brings back her color or something. Except it turns out that it wasn't actually Cassie, by Havoc in disguise! Havoc captures Phantom and his ruby, and the Rangers are still missing Cassie and now they've lost the Phantom as well.

Divatox is totally in love with the ruby, and it is hilarious. Divatox is about to unmask the Phantom, when Cassie escapes. She starts fighting, but Phantom yells at her to escape, and she does, crashing into Angel Grove Lake, where the Monster Tour is hanging out, and they see some fake Power Rangers who were clearly taken from a retirement home or something.

The Metallsaurus is back and all the Rangers morph and summon the Village People Zords. Havoc has the Phantom in a cage. There's a fight. Cassie is all "Phaaaaaaaaaantom" and she lets him out of the cage, and the Rangers combine into the Megazord.

The Phantom is dying without his ruby, and people are sad.

Fish: 5. This arc should be WAY more interesting, I'm just saying.

Episode 229 - Vanishing Act

This episode begins with Bulk and Skull meeting with the godfather and lying about their resumes. Sadly, it all goes downhill from there. Science does not work like that.

IF SOMEONE WANTS TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN THIS EPISODE, YOU WIN SOME SORT OF PRIZE. I don't know WHAT PRIZE, but you win SOMETHING.

So instead of soccer, this time we're playing basketball. Then suddenly everyone vanishes. Nico gets an extra special all by himself vanishing, because he's special to the Rangers.

At the Youth Center, Cassie and Ashley are discussing boys, and that's ridiculously adorable, and they are so BFF, and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed like pink rabbits to deliver cake, and then they vanish. Except first we see them in their underwear.

The Rangers try to go to the Power Chamber, but there are only ROCKS where the power Chamber is supposed to be. And then we see Alpha and Dimitria in the Power Chamber, except now there are ROCKS IN THE POWER CHAMBER and the Rangers are walking through consoles and through Alpha and apparently the city is intangible as well as invisible? Except the Power Chamber isn't IN Angel Grove and I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

So the Rangers go to the lake and then they get attacked by invisible Pirahnatrons, and they morph, and I hope nobody was around but invisible. Except they can see the Pirahnatrons' footprints? And they get beaten up and one of the invisible Pirahnatrons gropes Justin and that's just wrong.

So the Phantom shows up and saves them and he's very protective of Cassie and CASSIE, TJ IS RIGHT THERE. THERE IS NO CONTEST. (Shipping is serious business.)

Somehow they can see the reflection of Angel Grove and the Pirahnatrons in the lake, and there's more fighting, and they split up and it's all REALLY BORING and we spend most of our time shouting about HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK and then they're driving around looking for the monster but only Cassie can see him and she keeps giving TJ bad directions and WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Were the writers HIGH? Did the fish actually materialize and just WRITE THIS?

Then Ashley decides they should use the gun function of the Turbo navigator, and then she combines her gun function with TJ's and somehow that makes Angel Grove reappear and then there's a Zord fight.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Back at the Youth Center, Ashley is all "So you have a crush on the Phantom Ranger" and Cassie is all "I wish I knew his name" (which is totally Billy Cranston, for the record) and then Bulk and Skull come in dressed as superheroes to sing happy birthday to Cassie, except then they end up in their underwear again.

Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL EVEN HAPPENED.