Episode 34 - The Green Candle - Part 1

I am back from Dragon*con! I'm sorry for missing Saturday's recap, but I was busy having a fabulous time at the con. I went to a lot of panels including one where I talked about writing power rangers porn, and I did some shopping including buying two seasons of Power Rangers and basically I had a wonderful time. But now I am home, and mostly recovered, and it is time for a recap!

I've got to say, watching Power Rangers on the tv is so much better than watching it on youtube. Anyway, we open with Tommy and Zack sparring. Tommy is wearing the universe's most ridiculous shirt, although it is way better than some of his other outfits, and Zack has on those purple pants again. For some reason, Zack is encouraging Tommy to ask out Kimberly. Doesn't he know what will happen to her personality? And also, wait, they seriously aren't dating yet? Huh. (Also, the board that Tommy breaks during this conversation was clearly already broken.)

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita has a new plan to defeat the Power Rangers. Or at least get rid of Tommy. Apparently she has a candle made out of magic wax that will make him join her forever! She pulls out a tiny version of her wand and places it over a map of something that is definitely not California (seriously, Angel Grove is its own country) and tells it to locate Tommy.

While Rita is discussing her plans, Tommy is failing at sparring. Zack's cunning plan was to distract Tommy with thoughts of Kimberly! Tommy tells Zack that if it is so easy to ask someone out, why doesn't he try. Zack tries to impress Angela, and gets shot down, and I laugh a lot. Not that I'd be able to resist Zack. Oh, Zack, you can dance for me any time.

Bulk and Skull make fun of Tommy and Zack, reciting bad poetry about how no girl would ever go out with them. Then there is supposed wackiness that involves Bulk and Skull falling over and Zack and Tommy laugh at them, but seriously, why is it not season 2 yet so we can get some character development for those two?

Kimberly and Tommy are walking through the park. Tommy has changed shirts, but now the green of the shirt clashes with the green of his pants, so I'm not sure this is an improvement. Kim has a leotard on under her dress. (Look, there were some awesome cosplayers at the con, I am in a pay attention to the clothing type of place.) Tommy has just started to ask Kim a question, after a really awkward "Can I ask you a question?" "You can ask me anything, we're friends, right?" type conversation, when putties show up. Yay for cockblocking putties! As long as the one being cockblocked is Tommy, anyway.

There is a seriously awesome unmorphed fight scene, except somehow Kim's morpher gets dropped. Goldar shows up and takes Tommy to the dark dimension, and seriously, Kimberly is right there and has been separated from her morpher, and they just leave her? I know Rita is obsessed with Tommy, but I thought the point was to try and get rid of all the Rangers eventually. Evil is seriously dumb.

So Tommy is trapped in the Dark Dimension, with Kimberly still in the park screaming for Tommy, and Rita has apparently had Finster create a monster called Cyclops. I am really sad that it isn't Scott Summers. (You have no idea how badly I want the Power Rangers to fight the X-Men. I totally wrote a ridiculous AU fanfic where Billy and Kimberly turned out to be mutants when I was 11. It was awesome.) Instead the monster is a shape shifter with one eye. Not nearly as cool or as hardcore as Scott Summers.

After Tommy has been kidnapped, Zordon apparently managed to pay attention and the original five Rangers are in the Command Center, trying to locate the Dark Dimension. Seriously, didn't they manage to locate it during the Green With Evil Saga? Serious Zordon Fail.

Anyway, as they try to come up with a plan, the Dragon Zord starts attacking Angel Grove. Of course, since we were just told that Rita had a shape shifting monster 30 seconds ago, it is clearly not the Dragon Zord. Plus, Zordon says that it doesn't appear to be the Zord.

Tommy and Goldar are fighting, and there isn't nearly as much inappropriate Goldar/Tommy subtext as there is Goldar/Jason. Goldar has to go leave for some reason, so he uses the worst special effects ever to bind Tommy's hands, and Tommy just stands there, because apparently if your hands are in shackles you can't move at all or try to blow out the damn candle or whatever. (They keep stressing that when the candle burns down Tommy will work for Rita. Now, if they mean that the candle has to go out, that is one thing. But why not just blow out the damn candle so it doesn't burn down? Or else be more clear. Seriously, episode.) Tommy is seriously useless.

The other Rangers summon the Zords in the longest sequence ever, and my roommate walks into the room and says "Look! It's Voltron!" and then I miss most of the fight scene to try and explain the difference.

Goldar comes back and Tommy manages to steal his sword and teleport back to the park. Seriously? How does he know how to use that magic? I don't even know what is with that. Tommy tries to call his zord, but apparently his powers are weakening already or something. They don't quite defeat the Cyclops, because it will totally be back next episode. Whatever.

At the Command Center, Alpha is scanning Tommy, because apparently you can be damaged crossing dimensions. Did they scan Jason when he came back from the Dark Dimension? I'm pretty sure they did not. Jason remembers Rita's Dark Dimension as being a bad place, and I cannot stop giggling. There's a bullshit explanation for how the candle works, but basically Tommy touched the wax or something while he worked for Rita and that is how they are going to make him evil again. Everyone is very sad, and they're going to have to get the candle back.

To be continued, but not until tomorrow.


Fish: 3.5. It isn't quite as out there, but the logic about how the candle works, and leaving Kim behind like that is pretty bad.

Billy speak: "He's scanning Tommy for internal damage due to crossing dimensions."

Nobody gets covered in food, but Bulk nearly chokes on his own jacket. I don't even know.

Episode 32 - A Star Is Born

The today on Power Rangers pretty much boils down to Tommy is scary and Scorpina is awesome. We are clearly in for a great episode

We open at Angel Grove High School, where Kimberly is asking Tommy if he's going to go to the beach with them the next day. Kimberly, sweetie, if you want to make out with him, stop inviting him to group events. Tommy says no, because he's going to try out for a karate commercial. Oh, Tommy. Don't you realize that commercials only lead to becoming a MMA fighter with a lot of scary tattoos? Why do you do this to us?

Zack is wearing red pants. Apparently Ranger Rule #23 (thanks foxtree!) is in effect. Kimberly just looks ridiculous, but she gets a better outfit later. (Trini has the best clothes this episode. We're not sure what alternate reality we've landed in.)

Bulk and Skull come wandering down the hallway. Apparently Bulk is also trying out for the commercial, with Skull as his manager. We're sure this is going to end well. Really. Tommy takes the opportunity to show off his martial arts skills, and seriously, how has he not been expelled for fighting in the hallway? I know Angel Grove only has one teacher and the principal, but O.o I used to teach high school, and if one of my students had been doing karate in the hallway, they'd be in for a world of trouble.

At the beach (so this is the next day, right? And Tommy couldn't go with them because he's going to the commercial thing?) the Rangers are all playing volleyball. Bulk and Skull show up so that Bulk can try to get a tan, and Skull starts rubbing suntan lotion on Bulk. (Apparently they are Cable & Deadpool, and you have no idea how hard I'm kicking myself that I don't have a scan of the sunscreen incident available.) Anyway, the sunscreen goes everywhere, so Skull ends up covering Bulk in mayonnaise. OW.

Later, at the auditions (which should be at the same time as the beach thing) Bulk shows up with the worst sunburn ever. I've officially lost the episode's timeline, and that isn't even trying to figure out how old the Rangers are supposed to be. The auditions are at the high school, so revieloutionne's theory that the Angel Grove economy runs on martial arts is totally true. Bulk makes a giant fool out of himself at the audition.

Rita is apparently fed up with everything, so she decides to take a day off and let Goldar run things. Goldar sends Scorpina down to harass the volleyball playing Rangers at the beach. Two seconds before the beach was filled with civilians, but the Rangers morph anyway. Worst secret identities ever! (Queenriley started flailing again about how Trini grabbed Billy's arm, so if I get any details wrong, that is totally why. I'll return the favor as soon as we get to any episodes that have Adam.)

Scorpina apparently has a pet worm that immediately envelops the Rangers in a silk cocoon. Zordon was paying attention for once, and he tried to call Tommy. However, Tommy had taken off his communicator for the audition, so he doesn't hear it. His audition is pretty awesome. Tommy has skills. Also, the two women who are running the audition clearly want to sleep with him, and my chat with Queenriley pretty much deteriorated into all caps yelling about how he is still in high school and they are supposed to be professional adults and why are they looking at him like that?

Meanwhile, Goldar and Scorpina are doing a great job kicking the Rangers asses, and they dump the giant cocoon off a cliff, even though they were at the sandy edge of the beach two seconds ago. Angel Grove geography makes no sense.

The Rangers do manage to rescue themselves, which is awesome. They shoot their laser guns at the walls of the cocoon and get out. Now, if the villains had thought it out, the walls would have reflected their blasters back at them and they would have all shot themselves. Also, doesn't Jason have a sword?

The monster of the week (well, the first one) is named Babe Ruthless.

Let's just take a minute to ponder that. BABE RUTHLESS. I honestly cannot believe they went there. Also, you would think they would save that monster for a baseball themed episode! We were so busy being baffled by the name that we almost missed that Tommy answered his communicator in the middle of the hall that is randomly devoid of people, even though there were plenty of other people auditioning.

He morphs and goes to help out the Rangers, and they form the MegaDragonzord or the Dragonzord in Fighting Mode, and I don't even know, they use both terms, and what follows is seriously the most confusing Zord fight ever. Somehow Jason is piloting his own zord and he's in the cockpit of the MegaDragonzord? We determine that clearly FISH are piloting Jason's zord. They beat Babe Ruthless and then Scorpina shows back up with her worm which is also now giant and for some reason they go back to the regular Megazord and Tommy has returned his Zord to the ocean? We're guessing Tommy had a hair appointment or something. The Megazord gets trapped in another giant cocoon and the dragonzord cuts them out with its tail, and there's a convenient blank spot in the middle of the city for the cocoon to fall without crushing anything.

Anyway, there was a lot of fighting and we're done trying to explain it. Lots of fish in that fight. Rita yells at Goldar for screwing it up, and Goldar promptly blames Finster's monsters for sucking. Poor Finster. He's too awesome for this.

Back at the Juice Bar, one day later. The Rangers are all watching the Random Reporter Guy (who we're going to have to make a tag for, we guess) talk about how awesome they are. Apparently there was property damage! We're amazed they admit it. Ernie also goes on about how awesome they are.

Then the commercial airs. Bulk is the before, and Tommy is the after. Apparently they just used the audition footage? So we're guessing the Angel Grove Karate Center is in the actual school? And how did the commercial go up so quickly? Did they ever sign a contract? And how did they not get sued by Bulk's family?


Lists:
Fish: 4.5. Four for the ridiculous zord fight, and another half for the sheer WTF of the commercial
Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in mayonnaise.

Questions: So, why didn't Jason try out for the commercial? Did he and Tommy flip a coin or something?

Episode 26 - Gung Ho!

You know, for an episode about Tommy and Jason, this one actually wasn't that bad! That is probably because a) most of the episode features them showing off their mad martial arts skills and b) they're shirtless for a lot of it. All good things, as far as we're concerned.

Anyway, like the last Jason centric episode, this one is about Jason (and Tommy!) learning the importance of cooperation and teamwork. And like the last one, we have no idea why they chose that particular moral for the episode. I mean, yes, Jason and Tommy need to learn to get along. But they weren't really having any problems with it in the last few episodes, and it doesn't work in context.

Tommy and Jason are preparing for the Team Ninja Finals, even though they just had a Martial Arts Expo just a few episodes ago. Angel Grove has a lot of martial arts competitions. One of these days I will post my theory about how Angel Grove is secretly a country, and this episode just backs up that theory. It would explain the wacky geography, maybe.

The boys are sparring against each other, and apparently this is preventing them from cooperating. No shit. They're sparring AGAINST each other. Unless they were doing an intricate kata, they shouldn't really be cooperating at that exact moment. I mean, for real. If they were practicing against two others, then yes, it would work, but they're both trying to beat the other person at that exact moment, so I have no idea what they're going on about.

The other Rangers are all watching them spar (and honestly, we can't blame them. They're both quite pretty at this point in time) and Trini gives them a lecture about how Gung Ho is Chinese for working together. A quick google search will point out that while the two characters in that phrase do mean "work" and "together" but they don't count as an official phrase. (So speaks wikipedia, but the librarian in me cries typing that sentence.) It is however a motto for the Chinese Industrial Cooperative Society. We'll totally give the show credit for it anyway.

Before Jason and Tommy can roll their eyes too much, Bulk and Skull show up in ridiculous outfits. Bulk is all pimped out, and Skull is a referee. Apparently they're sponsoring their own team of ninjas in the competition, and we get to watch the two ringers spar. They're not bad, and Tommy and Jason look nervous. Then Bulk gets knocked over. *sigh* But we have a few questions. This is supposedly the finals, so how come Jason and Tommy are just seeing these guys now? If they were having trouble working together before, how come it didn't affect them getting to the finals? And if they need to be sponsored to be in the competition, who is sponsoring the Rangers?

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita is all excited for her super putties, and we're incredibly excited, because they remembered what happened last episode! Except wait, it looks like the Frankenstein monster they blew up in an extremely gory fashion is alive and well. So close, show! So close!

We switch to Trini and Kim walking in the park, and Trini starts talking about how Zack is helping the boys train, and... well, isn't Trini supposed to be a martial artist herself? Isn't that her big defining characteristic? Apparently she can't be bothered, or else the show just doesn't want to showcase her skills. They get attacked by the all new super putties, and promptly get their asses kicked. In a rare moment of actually remembering what the communicators are for, Kimberly calls Zordon and asked for help. Zordon immediately pages the other Rangers (and I briefly need to point out how ANCIENT Billy's laptop is. OMG we are SO OLD) and they run out of the Youth Center to go help the girls.

Queenriley immediately flails because Billy went to protect Trini. OTP, y'all. OTP. (Even if Trini should be able to take care of herself. I mean, really.)

Back at the Command Center, the Rangers demand some answers from Zordon. Putties haven't kicked their asses since episode 1. Zordon explains about the Super Putties, and then tells Tommy and Jason that they must go retrieve new weapons to defeat the putties, while the others go morph and fight them. Apparently Tommy and Jason retrieving new weapons involves tearing the map in half so that they can learn to cooperate. We get that learning to cooperate is important, but maybe they could do that at a time where the rest of the team isn't in danger? I mean, seriously. We have to admit that the Super Putties are pretty awesome. If they get broken, they reform into two new putties! How awesome is that?

While four of the Rangers are getting beaten up by a bunch of clay goons, Tommy and Jason discover a rock, and Jason is all "Look at me! I found a rock!" and Tommy is "not without my half of the map, you didn't!" and for real, just get over it. We're assuming that they're still on Earth, but the geography of this makes no sense, although we supposed we shouldn't be surprised by that. Apparently there's some shrine to dinosaurs (Sabre-toothed tigers and Mastodons still ARE NOT DINOSAURS) that nobody has discovered. Jason comments that it's too easy, and apparently he's never seen a movie in his life, because he doesn't know that means they're about to get attacked.

And they are! It's Titanus, although we don't know that yet. They morph, and then fall down a hill. Apparently to solve all their teamwork problems, Jason gives his sword to Tommy and Tommy gives his shield to Jason, and then Jason runs up the hill and grabs the new weapons. We're not quite sure how a sword is a long distance weapon, but apparently Tommy uses it to fire some sort of energy, but we've seen him do that before with his Dragon Daggers, so IDK. They teleport to the other Rangers and give them the new weapons, which are weird slingshot shaped guns, and then they blow up the putties. The end. Hey, there wasn't an actual monster this episode! Wacky! And we've still got... a lot of time left!

We then return to the Youth Center, for the highlight of the episode. More sparring! Except shirtless this time. Right before the competition begins, Zordon rings them, and they answer their communicators in the middle of the Youth Center, and nobody notices. Seriously, Zordon is drugging the water or something. He tells them Titanus was the guardian and will be an ally.

Jason and Tommy win the competition, and then Bulk gets covered in water. We still have no idea why they chose this episode to be Jason's second "learn to work together" episode. We can't wait until Jason gets an episode that isn't about that.

Lists!

This episode gets 4 fish. It isn't quite as ridiculous as the Bench Pressing one, and we feel that we should be nicer because it actually mostly remembers what happens in the episode before, but it's pretty ridiculous. Amazingly, we didn't actually mind Tommy in this episode. This was pretty necessary for his involvement in the team, but the execution was pretty flawed.

Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in water. Surprise, surprise.

Meta - Our Thoughts on Tommy

We thought that it might be a good idea to discuss our issues with Tommy before we marathon Green With Evil tomorrow. Look, the thing is, we actually really want to like Tommy. We think that in theory, he is a really interesting character. In fact, we like Green With Evil and we're mostly looking forward to watching it!

But Tommy has some serious flaws that really bother us. It isn't so much his actual flaws - those are the things about him that are interesting. It's the way the show wants to portray him. So we thought we'd give you a numbered list.

1-We hate how Tommy drains the sheer awesome out of his girlfriends. Kimberly is awesome. As it stands now, she is the only ranger to have defeated a monster by herself, and she's done it twice. But once Tommy shows up, we know we're in for lots of screaming of his name as Kimberly (and later Kat) will not be able to handle herself anymore and will need to be rescued all the time. We're also really not looking forward to her fainting at the sight of his glorious majesty or whatever in White Light.

2-Every single episode is about him. Everyone has their favorite character. TSB's is Adam. QueenRiley's is Billy. We like seeing episodes about them. But we also enjoy episodes about the others. It is an ensemble show. It's not "The Amazing Adventures of Tommy Oliver with Occasional Guest Appearances by the Other Rangers." So it is really annoying when you're watching an episode that from the summary looks like it should be about Adam, and it turns out to be secretly about Tommy. Or when Tommy is always the one to solve the problem, even though you know that others on the team should be able to figure it out.

3-It is Tommy's flaws that make him interesting, but the show pretends he is perfect. To be fair, it takes a little while before we get to the guiding white light heart of the team nonsense. But look at Tommy. He was placed under a spell and did a lot of awful things. Now, we aren't saying that he should be the angstiest ever (especially because when he is angsty, he drives us even crazier) but the show could have set up a way better redemption arc than it did. In fact, most of what TSB does like about Tommy could be termed "Fanwank" for how his drive to be perfect really comes out of his need to atone for what he did, and also this is why he's addicted to the power. Unfortunately, that is mostly fanwank. In the show, Tommy is basically portrayed as being the perfect Ranger, and he is almost always right. It is annoying.

4-Lastly, we're pretty sure Tommy faked his doctorate. We could totally buy Billy having a doctorate by age 24, but Tommy? Who didn't even go to college immediately so he could go race cars or whatever? Hell no. Plus, the one flaw he does have is a lousy memory. No way in hell did he earn it.

We really do want to like Tommy, and in her younger days TSB even thought he was cute, but basically he drives us crazy. We know that lots of people in fandom love him and judge him to be the greatest Ranger ever, but we disagree. You should all write us fanfic to convince us otherwise. Or argue with us in the comments. Whichever works.