Episode 32 - A Star Is Born

The today on Power Rangers pretty much boils down to Tommy is scary and Scorpina is awesome. We are clearly in for a great episode

We open at Angel Grove High School, where Kimberly is asking Tommy if he's going to go to the beach with them the next day. Kimberly, sweetie, if you want to make out with him, stop inviting him to group events. Tommy says no, because he's going to try out for a karate commercial. Oh, Tommy. Don't you realize that commercials only lead to becoming a MMA fighter with a lot of scary tattoos? Why do you do this to us?

Zack is wearing red pants. Apparently Ranger Rule #23 (thanks foxtree!) is in effect. Kimberly just looks ridiculous, but she gets a better outfit later. (Trini has the best clothes this episode. We're not sure what alternate reality we've landed in.)

Bulk and Skull come wandering down the hallway. Apparently Bulk is also trying out for the commercial, with Skull as his manager. We're sure this is going to end well. Really. Tommy takes the opportunity to show off his martial arts skills, and seriously, how has he not been expelled for fighting in the hallway? I know Angel Grove only has one teacher and the principal, but O.o I used to teach high school, and if one of my students had been doing karate in the hallway, they'd be in for a world of trouble.

At the beach (so this is the next day, right? And Tommy couldn't go with them because he's going to the commercial thing?) the Rangers are all playing volleyball. Bulk and Skull show up so that Bulk can try to get a tan, and Skull starts rubbing suntan lotion on Bulk. (Apparently they are Cable & Deadpool, and you have no idea how hard I'm kicking myself that I don't have a scan of the sunscreen incident available.) Anyway, the sunscreen goes everywhere, so Skull ends up covering Bulk in mayonnaise. OW.

Later, at the auditions (which should be at the same time as the beach thing) Bulk shows up with the worst sunburn ever. I've officially lost the episode's timeline, and that isn't even trying to figure out how old the Rangers are supposed to be. The auditions are at the high school, so revieloutionne's theory that the Angel Grove economy runs on martial arts is totally true. Bulk makes a giant fool out of himself at the audition.

Rita is apparently fed up with everything, so she decides to take a day off and let Goldar run things. Goldar sends Scorpina down to harass the volleyball playing Rangers at the beach. Two seconds before the beach was filled with civilians, but the Rangers morph anyway. Worst secret identities ever! (Queenriley started flailing again about how Trini grabbed Billy's arm, so if I get any details wrong, that is totally why. I'll return the favor as soon as we get to any episodes that have Adam.)

Scorpina apparently has a pet worm that immediately envelops the Rangers in a silk cocoon. Zordon was paying attention for once, and he tried to call Tommy. However, Tommy had taken off his communicator for the audition, so he doesn't hear it. His audition is pretty awesome. Tommy has skills. Also, the two women who are running the audition clearly want to sleep with him, and my chat with Queenriley pretty much deteriorated into all caps yelling about how he is still in high school and they are supposed to be professional adults and why are they looking at him like that?

Meanwhile, Goldar and Scorpina are doing a great job kicking the Rangers asses, and they dump the giant cocoon off a cliff, even though they were at the sandy edge of the beach two seconds ago. Angel Grove geography makes no sense.

The Rangers do manage to rescue themselves, which is awesome. They shoot their laser guns at the walls of the cocoon and get out. Now, if the villains had thought it out, the walls would have reflected their blasters back at them and they would have all shot themselves. Also, doesn't Jason have a sword?

The monster of the week (well, the first one) is named Babe Ruthless.

Let's just take a minute to ponder that. BABE RUTHLESS. I honestly cannot believe they went there. Also, you would think they would save that monster for a baseball themed episode! We were so busy being baffled by the name that we almost missed that Tommy answered his communicator in the middle of the hall that is randomly devoid of people, even though there were plenty of other people auditioning.

He morphs and goes to help out the Rangers, and they form the MegaDragonzord or the Dragonzord in Fighting Mode, and I don't even know, they use both terms, and what follows is seriously the most confusing Zord fight ever. Somehow Jason is piloting his own zord and he's in the cockpit of the MegaDragonzord? We determine that clearly FISH are piloting Jason's zord. They beat Babe Ruthless and then Scorpina shows back up with her worm which is also now giant and for some reason they go back to the regular Megazord and Tommy has returned his Zord to the ocean? We're guessing Tommy had a hair appointment or something. The Megazord gets trapped in another giant cocoon and the dragonzord cuts them out with its tail, and there's a convenient blank spot in the middle of the city for the cocoon to fall without crushing anything.

Anyway, there was a lot of fighting and we're done trying to explain it. Lots of fish in that fight. Rita yells at Goldar for screwing it up, and Goldar promptly blames Finster's monsters for sucking. Poor Finster. He's too awesome for this.

Back at the Juice Bar, one day later. The Rangers are all watching the Random Reporter Guy (who we're going to have to make a tag for, we guess) talk about how awesome they are. Apparently there was property damage! We're amazed they admit it. Ernie also goes on about how awesome they are.

Then the commercial airs. Bulk is the before, and Tommy is the after. Apparently they just used the audition footage? So we're guessing the Angel Grove Karate Center is in the actual school? And how did the commercial go up so quickly? Did they ever sign a contract? And how did they not get sued by Bulk's family?


Lists:
Fish: 4.5. Four for the ridiculous zord fight, and another half for the sheer WTF of the commercial
Covered in food: Bulk gets covered in mayonnaise.

Questions: So, why didn't Jason try out for the commercial? Did he and Tommy flip a coin or something?