Episode 30 - The Rockstar

Hey, there's no Tommy in this episode! Of course, there's also no Tommy in this episode with no explanation at all! They don't even bother to say Tommy is at a tournament" or "Tommy is visiting family" or "Tommy is at the salon getting his hair done." He just... doesn't exist for the purposes of this episode.

We open with a shot of the Radbug, which is always awesome. Apparently Zack, Kimberly, Billy and Trini are all going on some weekend getaway, and seriously, how OLD are they? I know conventional wisdom has them being 15 in this season since they don't graduate until after Zeo, but they're going away for the weekend and they can drive. Jason is apparently not going with them because his cousin Jeremy, who is not quite as dumb as Cousin Sylvia, but is still pretty ridiculous, is coming to visit.

Somehow the four Rangers manage to pack all of their luggage (Kimberly, I am impressed by how well you pack) and themselves into the Radbug, and Billy tells Jason there would still be room in the backseat, and QueenRiley and I both start giggling. We're both big fans of Mallrats, okay?

Trini is apparently taking a gourmet cooking class, and she brought them brownies for the trip. Since it's a French cooking class, you know exactly where this joke is leading up to. Yes, those are snail brownies. Eww.

Rita is very excited because the Rangers are all going out of town, so she can go look for the Mirror of Destruction, which can blow things up with the light reflected off of it! It can even destroy super putties.

Meanwhile, at the Park, Bulk is eating a sloppy joe pizza, and watching him eat it is gross. Show, please stop with the fatphobia. For real. At least we're halfway through the Bulk and Skull as crazy bullies season (and we are halfway through the first season as of this recap! It only took us nearly six months!) and then Bulk and Skull can start having character development. *sigh*

Jason and his annoying cousin show up, and words are exchanged, and Jeremy asks if these are the famous bullies that Jason told him about. The way it is said makes me believe that Jason was making fun of them to his younger cousin, so this episode totally gets a The Rangers Are Bullies tag. Bulk tries to provoke a physical fight (he's getting better, but he should really know better, since you know Jason is the winner of every tournament in Angel Grove before Tommy showed up) and Jason tricks him into falling on his face.

Leaving Bulk and Skull (also covered in pizza) to themselves, Jason goes to teach cousin Jeremy martial arts on the beach. Cousin Jeremy unfortunately has Jason's fashion sense. Jason tries to teach some more advanced moves to the cousin, and the cousin fails, and Jason tells him he was once insecure, but martial arts helped him get better. Aww, Jason and Adam have so much in common! Jason repeats the "brains over brawn" motto that is the theme of this episode.

Jason and Jeremy get attacked by Super Putties, and the two of them hold their own. Let me repeat that. The things that beat up Four morphed Rangers are now defeated by a twelve-year-old. Talk about Badass Decay.

Jeremy tells Jason he's so excited that this is happening, and both of us start rolling our eyes. Jeremy is all excited about things related to Power Rangers, but he doesn't even question being attacked by putties. I guess that is just the reputation Angel Grove has, although have we ever seen Putties attack Non Rangers at this point? I can't think of anyone.

Miraculously, cousin Jeremy finds a message in a bottle, and they open it. Crazy yellow sparks start shooting out of the bottle, and an Earthquake begins. Jason tells Jeremy to stay there (on top of a cliff, WTF) and jumps down to call Zordon. He gets points for calling Zordon, at least. He knows what his communicator is there for. We get a glimpse of the Radbug driving and hear them go "Earthquake!" and they keep going. I guess someone must have reminded Kimberly that Not All Earthquakes are Rita Related. Although in this case, that isn't true.

Jason and Jeremy look at what was in the bottle, and it's a map that is clearly no place in California. I am telling you, Angel Grove is it's own country, that is the only thing that makes sense. A monster shows up, and Jason tells the kid to run. Instead of morphing, Jason just gets hit by some rocks and is knocked over so he can't move, and Zordon miraculously was paying attention and calls the other Rangers over to help, by telling them to teleport to the beach. I guess the Country of Angel Grove only has one of those.

The Rangers all go off to look for Jeremy in the woods next to the beach, and they are the worst searches ever. Before they get very far, Zordon lets them know that Scorpina and the Rockstar (the monster that shoots rocks at people) are attacking. Billy volunteers to keep looking for Jeremy, and we have some questions. Does Jeremy know Billy? Why isn't Jason doing this, when his cousin is his responsibility? And doesn't Zordon's viewing globe locate people?

All five of them morph (and why Billy morphs we have no idea) and they find Scorpina next to a swimming pool/stadium thing by the beach. Trini and Zack get hit with giant rocks and knocked into the pool, and how they still manage to float considering they have giant rocks attached to them is beyond me.

Jeremy uses the map and finds a rock. He picks up the rock, and under it is a mirror. Worst buried treasure ever. A solitary putty is stalking him, and he opens the mirror and then the putty explodes. Not only does the putty explode, but part of a cliff explodes. Unless that cliff has eyes, the Mirror does not require eyes to blow things up. That is important for later. Anyway, Jeremy is weirded out by the exploding mirror, so he throws it away.

Somehow, Billy has joined in the battle. I guess he wasn't really looking for Jeremy after all. Scorpina now has the mirror since Jeremy threw it away, and Rita makes her grow. Somehow the Rangers manage to summon the zords and bring them together before anything else happens. I guess transformation really is a free action.

Once the Megazord is assembled, Scorpina opens the mirror, and the Rangers all sheild their eyes, so nothing happens. Except that isn't how the mirror works, as it was established three minutes earlier. Whatever. Goldar shows up, and the Rangers manage to get him inbetween them and Scorpina, so Scorpina throws the mirror away so that it won't hurt Goldar. We are really sad that we don't get more of them together in this show. Apparently they even had a cute baby in Zyuranger!

Anyway, the Rangers blow up the mirror, and then (still morphed) they talk to Jeremy. They are seriously bad at this secret identity stuff, because Trini totally pats Jason on the shoulder when Jeremy says he wonders where his cousin is.

We go back to the Youth Center. I guess the others never get their vacation. Jeremy is telling Jason all about his adventures, including parts that there was no way he had seen, because he was busy looking for the mirror while Trini and Zack got thrown into the pool. The Rangers are all excited to hear this kid talk about how awesome they are. I guess the novelty hasn't worn off yet. Jeremy asks Jason where he was, and instead of saying the smart thing or telling Jeremy that he was looking for him Jason just totally blows off the question and says he has to teach a class. The lack of quality education in Angel Grove rears its angry head again.

Lists!
Five fish. If the episode had given us an explanation for where Tommy was, we'd totally have knocked off half a fish for the lack of Tommy, but since it made us wonder where he is, five fish. Also, this episode was totally ridiculous.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in sloppy joe pizza.

Billy speak: "An exemplary motto."
"How idiosyncratic."