Spoilers - the whole thing is a dream. I'm getting that out of the way now, so I can talk about what it says about Adam's psyche. Because clearly, that is why I love this episode. Also, there will probably be ALL THE CAPS. (You think I'm bad now, just wait until we get to Always a Chance.)
So. Let us begin.
It was a dark and stormy night. Adam and Tanya were having a "study session" after hours at the school. For some reason, the school is open and they haven't been kicked out yet. I have no idea why. Tanya is ready to give up, but Adam says he wants to stay at the school and study some more. Really, Adam? Cram sessions are not good for you. Go home
Bulk and Skull are supposedly on night patrol of the school, and we're briefly wondering if they even go to school any longer. We're guessing no, and they graduated. They offer to escort Tanya home because of the storm, but she sees right through them and instead offers to walk them home, while Adam stays at school without letting his parents know what's going on.
A few hours later, he needs a break and turns on the tv, where what looks like an amazing bad movie is playing - The Bride of Hackensack. It apparently features a witch, a vampire and a werewolf teaming up to stop a mad doctor and his evil bride, and I would watch the hell out of this movie. He falls asleep while watching the movie, only to wake up when a black cat jumps on him. Awww, kitty!
He follows the cat and immediately runs into Rita and Zedd. They inform him that while he was asleep, Mondo and Machina have conquered the Earth and captured all the other Rangers. This sucks for them, because they can't win, and they don't think that's fair. Oh, and all of his friends have been transformed, and his zeonizers and communicators are missing. DUN DUN DUN.
I love that Adam's worst nightmare is that he wasn't there to help save the world. Oh, Adam, you have so much angst, and I love you so much for it.
Anyway, if he goes to find some powerful wizard and gives him the cape of a vampire, a catseye, the hair of a werewolf and the wrapping of a mummy, he can convince the wizard to fix things. It's like the plot of Into the Woods, but BETTER.
As the scene changes Adam finds himself in the juicebar, but all the color has vanished, leading to the best line. "Who turned off the color?" Oh, Adam, you are my favorite forever. He immediately recognizes Tommy, who offers him a drink (served by Ernie). Adam turns it down, and ahahah TOMMY IS A VAMPIRE. HE WANTS TO DRINK FROM ADAM.
Um. Here's the thing. Vampires are a metaphor for sex. SO YEAH. ADAM/TOMMY FOREVER, YOU GUYS.
... alternately, Adam thinks that Tommy sucks. Take your pick.
Mondo shows up and sends down some cogs, and we get one of the few unmorphed fight scenes of the season. Oh, Adam. You are so awesome. He easily beats the cogs, and then tries to steal Tomacula's (no, seriously) cape. Tomacula lunges after him, but suddenly a rope appears, and Rocky's voice calls down "make haste, lad!"
Um. Rocky should talk like that all the time. And I would like to thank whoever filmed the gratuitous ass shots as Adam climbed up the rope. A++++ good job.
So Rocky is in a suit and is really hot and calls Adam "old chap." He's apparently Lord Henry of Henry Hall, and I want this to exist as a bad romance novel so badly.
They get chased by wolves, but Rocky is obviously a werewolf. There is shirt ripping, but not nearly enough of it. Fail, show!
Werewolves are also a metaphor for sex. And masculinity. And passion. And wolves mate for life.
Yeah. *has a ship*
Rocky!Wolf runs off, and Adam grabs some of his hair (and I'm not even going to comment on that, okay? I'm being good) and then Lt. Stone shows up with the worst accent I've ever heard claiming to be the Burgermeister, which allows Adam to figure out that he's in the movie. The Burgermeister tells him there's a professor who might be able to help him, so Adam goes off in search of Billy.
Except it isn't Billy. It's Skull. Because deep down Adam totally knows that Skull is smart. This is more proof that Skull should totally have been the mentor in DT. Professor Skull is about to cast a magic spell, but the mummy of Prince Bulkenhotep awakens.
This is so freaking amazing I can't even comment.
Anyway, the mummy gets unwrapped, and Adam steals a piece of the wrapping, and Professor Skull and the Mummy are clearly going to be together forever, and I am dying forever.
The next room contains the mad scientist, who is Billy. Or rather, William Von Hackensack. Who has created his bride - Tanya.
This actually really works for me. In a really creepy way. Tanya replaced Billy so in some weird way could be a creation. Look, apparently this makes sense in my head, and Adam's, and the writers.
Of course, the part that really works for me is when Billy asks Adam if he likes Tanya. GEE, I WONDER WHAT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO SIGNIFY.
*has another ship*
Adam follows the cat out and the cat transforms into, well, Kat. The witch.
Possibly Adam has some unresolved issues about the whole park cat thing. He takes her catseye necklace, and ends up in the Wizard's Chamber, and the episode turns into a giant Wizard of Oz parody, and it is everything I love. Oh, and all the Rangers are encased in the tubes where the Mighty Morphin suits usually are. AMAZING.
So, Zordonicus, the great and powerful, lets Adam know that there's more to the test, and he has to choose one of his friends to fight a monster, since I guess we have to use some sentai footage.
In the stupidest line of the episode, Adam actually asks "What would Tommy do?" I guess so he could figure out what not to do? But instead, this counts as him choosing Tommy.
At least he didn't choose something that could never ever possibly destroy us.
Long boring fight featuring Tommy follows, and wow, am I glad this episode exists, because otherwise we would have had another one that just featured Tommy. So Tommy wins, but it turns out that Zordonicus was actually Mondo, and Adam's REAL nightmare is that he accidentally did something wrong and helped bring about the end of the world.
Oh, ADAM. SO MANY HUGS. SO MANY.
Tanya wakes him up, and it turns out that he was there all night. I guess his parents really don't care where he is at night, which I'm sure that Rocky and Tanya appreciate.
The movie is still on, and Adam has the and you were there moment, and the other Rangers are all excited for the movie and suggest they watch it at Tanya's later. (Except um, isn't she living with Kat?)
Adam says no, he's had enough of horror movies, and then the cat shows up, since it's apparently been living in school for weeks.
How Adam does on the test, we will never know.
Fish: 1. It was all just a dream, the fish do not count.
Fic we want: ROMANCE NOVEL.
BEST EPISODE EVER.
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