Episode 45- Crystal of Nightmares

Just a note: We were previously using the Ranger Central episode list and they have just recently updated their order. We were out of order. So now we're trying to get it back in sync. Oh, and I has a TSB! In person! At my place of residence! So this is LIVE capping. :D

So we're up to Crystal of Nightmares now. The best part of this episode is the homoerotic pillow fight between Jason, Zack, and Billy. Aw, boys.

So we start off with Trini and Kim stressing over an upcoming major science test. Billy, Jason, and Zack, however, are relaxed and have sly smiles. They've plotted something. Cheating off Billy perhaps? They certainly look like they have nefarious plans. But no, actually it's just that Billy's uncle has given them use of two of his cabins for the weekend and the rangers are going to spend all of it studying. (TSB says "studying" is clearly code for something else.)

Bulk and Skull snoop on the rangers and then get covered in bird poop. It's more than a little disgusting.

So they go up to the cabin and spend some time lounging around studying. Eventually they decide to take a break and have dinner. The show FAILS by having Jason want a big burger, Trini want Chinese food, and Kim requesting only a salad. Way to stereotype, show! Zack throws us for a loop by asking if they can have liver. Liver? Really?

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull dress up in drag and put on maid uniforms to sneak into the rangers rooms. They're looking for the science notes. Bulk starts digging through bags while Skull actually cleans. We learn Bulk is allergic to dust, and then the rangers come back. Bulk and Skull hide under Jason's bed. The boys bid the girls goodnight (immediately after dinner? What are you, two?) and then Zack shows off. He dances. For Billy and Jason. It can only be described as he's putting on quite a show for his boyfriends. Billy sits with a pillow on his lap (ahem ahem) and then throws it at Zack. The most homoerotic pillow fight ensues. It's spectacular.

Then they all just... go to bed. We can't complain too much, however, because Zack is wearing the tiniest of tiny shirts and Jason is shirtless. Mmmmboys. I, uh, could pause it right there for awhile. But alas, the recap must go on, despite the pretty pretty boys (and Jason's really nice arms).

Goldar is in a cave while everyone sleeps and he's using the Crystal of Nightmares, all glowy and covered in lightning, to give the rangers nightmares. He's going to use the nightmares to take away the confidence of all the rangers. Although we question the viability of this plan. I mean, Billy never really had self confidence in the first place? But okay, we'll go with it, because we're still happy about the homoerotic pillow fight. Though we are forcibly reminded of the Mirror of Regret. Yes, we know it technically hasn't happened yet in canon. We don't care. Wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. Nod and smile.

The nightmares consist of flashbacks. Billy flashes back to the Terror Toad. Zack flashes back to his birthday and the Nasty Knight. Kim dreams about being trapped in a bottle during her Really Bad Day (but at least they cut out her screaming for Tommy). Jason's nightmare is being trapped in the dark dimension where Goldar did inappropriate things to him. Trini's nightmare is the rangers getting covered in something that looks like silly string and we cannot for the life of us figure out which episode it's from. Any ideas?

Bulk and Skull, meanwhile, are asleep under Jason's bed and they dream about being food-related superheroes (enough with the fatphobia show) and they pilot the MegaZord. Then they crash. And somehow this is a nightmare.

Then all the rangers have a communal dream that Zordon takes their powers away. They freak out and in the morning they act as if they're still terrified. Kim is even hesitant to open the door for the boys. You would think they'd all be relieved to wake up and realize it was just dreams? But apparently not. Zordon, now that it's morning, FINALLY notices Goldar is using the Crystal of Nightmares. Zordon!Fail! He contacts the rangers and tells them the only way to regain their confidence is to destroy the crystal. They all freak out and he teleports them to the cave anyway. We get the shot from my icon (aw, icon!) and then they all have to fight a bunch of putties. They suck. It's like Day of the Dumpster all over again.

Billy cops a feel on Trini and then Jason runs for the mouth of the cave. He gets in and is confronted by Goldar. He fights him and manages to destroy the crystal and suddenly they're all confident again. That's it? Really? Wow was that easy. Although I won't complain too much because Jason looks really good in that shot. Austin St. John? You were a very attractive young man.

They beat the putties and then Goldar and Scorpina go after them. They don't even get a hit in before Rita makes them grow and then we get yet another extremely long Zord summoning sequence. They get their asses handed to them but then Jason calls on the Power Sword and, withing two or three hits, Goldar and Scorpina go running.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are awoken by the real maid and they start screaming because it's time for the test. They take off at a run and then we see everybody the following day. Mrs. Applebee is sick so Principal Caplan is handing out the graded tests. Seriously, Angel Grove High, hire another teacher okay? Having two AND a principal won't kill you, I promise.

The rangers all get A's, of course, and then Bulk and Skull get called to the front of the classroom. Principal Caplan humiliates them in front of the entire class by showing everybody their F's. He then gives them detention forever. Um... wow. If any staff member did that to MY kid, I'd take it to the highest authority I had to in order to get an apology and action taken against said staff member. That's just not okay. But we're supposed to think it is, and then Bulk sneezes and blows off Principal Caplan's toupee. Oh show. Fail a little harder.

List time!
2.5 fish. It was overall relatively consistent, but we couldn't identify Trini's nightmare episode, Billy never HAD self confidence in the first place, and then the outrageous behaviour of Principal Caplan in regards to Bulk and Skull.

Billy speak: none really... he had a few lines that were borderline, but nothing I considered overly intellectual.

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull get covered in bird poop, which isn't food, but it had to go somewhere. Ew.