I... don't think there are enough words to express how much I love this movie. I saw it in theatres. Twice. And I clearly remember forcing my parents to tape the Access Hollywood segment about the movie. (At least I think that was what it was? Whichever one of those shows covered it.) I owned this movie on VHS. It fills me with glee. So, yeah. (I later would use my little brother as an excuse to see Turbo in theatres, but we are not discussing that yet.)
ANYWAY, I have been looking forward to recapping this movie pretty much since we started the blog. And here we are.
The movie opens with some scrolling exposition text. While it is sadly not the most awesome text of exposition ever, it is still pretty cool! Dulcea narrates some basic history about how Zordon is in a time warp and he recruits teenagers to fight monsters.
CUT TO - a plane. Apparently the teens are all going sky diving for some unknown reason. To be fair, I think the whole scene is awesome. I have no idea when learned to sky dive, or who thought it would be a good idea to have Bulk and Skull go with them, and why there isn't an instructor.
Bulk and Skull prepare to jump when Kim points out that they don't have their parachutes on. *bangs head on wall* So, yeah. While they start preparing, it's time for the Ranger teens to jump. For some reason, Tommy is sky surfing. Because he's special. IDEK. This is the most completely gratuitous scene ever, but I so do not care. They do skydiving acrobatics! Honestly, I just love them. So, they all hit the target (although Adam and Rocky almost miss, which makes me sad) and we find out that the reason they're all sky diving is to try and raise money to save the observatory. The plot point comet will be passing over in 2 days.
The inappropriate young friend of the movie, Fred Kelman, makes fun of his dad for missing the target, and has a giant crush on Tommy. It's totally adorable, and I ship future!Fred/future!Justin. I want someone to write fic where they talk about their crush on Tommy from when they were 12 and how that helped them realize that they liked boys. Seriously, someone should get on this.
Also, they say that the Angel Grove team was 6 for 6, except... Bulk and Skull are on the team as well! So... yeah. Way to forget about them. (Aisha suggests that they landed on the roof trying to get to Ernie's dessert. We are... not pleased.)
Because it's me, I need to comment on the clothing. Like, seriously, I know that they all need to be color coded, but was it really necessary to put Tommy in all white? That might be the stupidest thing ever. He looks ridiculous. (I appreciate Kimberly's fanservice outfit.) And we'll be saying this a lot when we get to Zeo, but the costumer needs to cut it out with the sweatshirts. Who wears sweatshirts with shorts, anyway? I mean, besides college boys. So really, I think Aisha's outfit is ridiculous. But everyone has really nice arms, so there is that!
After sky diving, we guess that the Rangers decided it was time for a different activity, so they go roller blading to get lunch. At least they aren't chasing after a stroller this time. As they do complicated flips on rollerblades by a construction site, Bulk and Skull finally land. They have... amazing hats. And they try to get out of trouble for landing in the construction zone by claiming to be inspecting it. (Asking about proper foot protection. Oh, boys.) Luckily, they are saved, because the construction guys have uncovered a sewer cover! Which nobody has noticed before! And even though they live in Angel Grove, instead of calling the monster squad or something, they just decide to open it themselves. From an underground chamber, a giant purple Easter egg comes out. The foreman touches it (because that's totally a great idea) and he ends up being shocked by it.
Since we are in an alternate reality, Zordon is actually paying attention, and he summons the Rangers. It's still really light out, which will be relevant in a second. The new Command Center is pretty shiny, I've got to admit. We get some backstory on Ivan Ooze.
Back in Angel Grove, it's dark out. There's some warning tape up around the giant egg, and two security guards watching the egg. It's nice to know that Angel Grove has some sort of police force. However, this won't matter, because Rita and Zedd are showing up! Zedd is... a lot more menacing in this movie. His voice is different, and the brain pulsates, and it's really freaky. Goldar's face is different, and Squatt & Babboo have been replaced by a stupid pig. Zedd uses his staff to open up the egg, and Rita dips her finger in, yelling about how Zedd spent 2,000 years looking for a tub of snot. Then the giant egg filled with purple snot morphs into Ivan. (For the record, we both ship Rita/Ivan like crazy. Ivan is so awesome.) The important question is, what part of Ivan was Rita touching?
The villains have a conversation, and Zedd asks Ivan to destroy Zordon, which he agrees to do. Rita and Zedd leave, and Ooze starts to sniff the air. Apparently he can smell teenagers coming. And it's the Rangers, not some group of kids out at night.
So, even though they're teleporting in to investigate, the Rangers aren't morphed. They get caught by a security guard, and Kimberly asks if he's seen a Morphological being anywhere. Secret identities! You are... so very bad at them. Of course, the security guard is secretly a shape shifting Ivan anyway so their identities are mostly safe. Ivan creates his team of ooze monsters, and it's time for an unmorphed fight scene!
It's a pretty epic fight scene. Adam kicks a can and slams a door into a monster, Aisha flips two of them at a time, Kimberly does a lot of back flips, but these guys are too strong for them. The Rangers are all backed into a corner, and they decide it's time to morph.
Okay, let me get this out of the way. The movie costumes are stupid looking. The end.
By the time they've finished morphing, flipping, and posing, all the monsters have disappeared. They head into a building to go look for them, and we cut to the Command Center, where Zordon has discovered that Ooze is trying to enter the Command Center. Alpha says not to worry, because nobody can enter without a Power Coin, except for the times where someone has. Ooze soaks his way through the door.
He immediately starts in on Zordon, yelling about how uncomfortable it is to be locked up in an egg. Zordon might not know anything about being locked in an egg, but he's been stuck in a time warp for even longer! But Ooze will have none of it, and instead he starts ranting about the thing he has missed - the Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition!! The Brady Bunch Reunion! Then he totally destroys the Command Center. Ivan is totally more awesome and more effective than Rita and Zedd.
Back at the construction site, the Rangers go looking for the monsters. Aisha apparently has a really weak flashlight in her helmet, which does... nothing. Rocky also apparently has a scanner in his helmet, which... points out that there are monsters right in front of them. Cue fight scene!
It's a pretty cool fight. Adam and Rocky team up and rescue each other, there are some silly one liners, Kimberly gets a thunder whip, and for some reason Billy gets a Stega Stinger. Billy is the TRICERATOPS Ranger, not the STEGOSAURUS. (The Stegosaurus Ranger is totally everyone's OC from when they were 10, right? Or was that just me?) Adam.... doesn't get anything. Totally not fair. Tommy totally thinks he's Liu Kang. Just as they finish squashing all the ooze creatures, their powers fail.
Somehow they make it back to the Command Center and force the doors open. I know this is an AU, but I don't understand how Zordon's warp tube being destroyed leads to him dying, but whatever. If this was our universe, they would have just lost contact with him, but I guess this isn't our universe, so it instead causes Zordon to start dying. Or something. While the Rangers all make sad faces, Alpha tells them there's a way to still save Zordon, which they instantly agree to do. They have to go to the distant planet of Phaedos and seek the Great Power there. Even with Ivan on the loose, the Rangers go. Because they love Zordon a lot. ♥
On the moon, Rita is being a crazy stalker, and knows the Rangers are going after the Great Power. She starts yelling at Ivan, who flings purple ooze over her mouth. He then decides that he should be the leader, and traps Rita and Zedd in a snow globe. (I want that snow globe.) He creates some Tengu, and sends them to Phaedos to stop the Rangers from getting to the Great Power. He also plans to recruit the parents of Angel Grove to do something. Why the parents... I have no idea. I guess there are no childless adults in Angel Grove.
We are 33 minutes in, and the plot has just started. Wow.
Phaedos is really pretty. I wonder what part of Australia they were filming in? It vaguely reminds me of the opening beach scene from Grease. However, there's a skeleton on the beach, and it freaks them out. And then the Tengu show up. It's been almost 10 minutes since we've had a fight scene! I love the Tengu, and this is a pretty awesome fight. Kimberly does get captured, but at least she doesn't scream for Tommy. Yet. But the Rangers are getting their asses kicked, again.
Dulcea shows up to rescue them! Leaping off a cliff, she strips off her cloak and stands there in her fan service green bikini, and does some stick twirling. The sticks make a whistling noise, which bothers all of the Tengu, and they fly off. Dulcea then starts beating on Tommy when he tries to explain that they're going after the Great Power. Aisha is smarter than he is, and she invokes Zordon's name in an attempt to negotiate, and Dulcea changes her tune instantly, deciding to help them. She leads them to the ruins of the Ninjetti temple, and I desperately want fic about how the Ninjetti temple ended up in ruins. The only one I've found is Holding True (which is awesome). My point is, there should be more.
Back on Earth, Ivan dresses up as a creepy looking wizard, and passes out jars of purple ooze to children. The ooze will somehow brainwash the parents. Look, the plan makes no sense at all. But Fred takes a jar of the ooze, and brings it home. His father drives in (and the street is empty) and opens the jar. The second he touches the ooze, he is brainwashed. He goes outside not even 15 seconds later, and the street is filled with parents. How did all of the adults get brainwashed at the same time? how come nobody noticed? Why are the citizens of Angel Grove so filled with fail?
On Phaedos, Dulcea begins the ceremony, and in a burst of sparkles, the Rangers transform into their ninjetti outfits. Aisha is the bear, fierce and unstoppable. (This is totally true, Aisha is such a Mama Bear. Rocky is the ape, powerful and smart. (Take that, people who say Rocky isn't that smart! Although I'm surprised the smart thing didn't go to Billy.) Billy is instead the wolf, cunning and swift. Kimberly is the crane, and she only gets one trait. She's agile. Okay then!
BUT ADAM. Oh, Adam. He looks so disappointed. Because he is a FROG. And I love him and seriously, it is my favorite part of the movie. I'm so glad the director let JYB adlib that, because it is without a doubt the most memorable line of the movie. Anyway, Dulcea kisses Adam, and tells him he's a handsome prince, and then the universe wrote a million Adam/Dulcea fics. Which I don't actually ship, but I understand where it's coming from! Oh, ADAM. Anyway, basically that is my favorite scene from the movie, and the first PR icon I ever had. *points*
Oh, right. Tommy is the Falcon, the winged lord of the skies. Whatever that means. Dulcea tells them she isn't going with them, and then she turns herself into an owl. It's time.
TO BE CONTINUED.
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