Episode 306- Orion Returns

Today on Power Rangers, things are ominous and... fishy.

We start off in the dark of night. Night? Dark? IT'S A SPACESHIP. Maya senses... something. It's convenient psychic powers again! She gets Kendrix and then they meander down to the boys room, where they sleep on delightful bunks and I adore it. Damon is grumpy because she woke him up. It's adorable. Suddenly there is a bright flash of light! Could it be the fish? Of course it is. Oh power rangers, so predictable. See? Conveniently slightly psychic, as the script calls.

EVERYBODY sees the Fish of Orion, of course, including the bad guys. Trakeena is delightfully bitchy when other people take credit for something she JUST SAID. Scorpius goes after the Fish. The Rangers go after the Fish. Is there ANYBODY not going after the Fish at this point? Frankly, this season is so full of them, these guys could probably just cast out a little net and get plenty...

The Rangers hop on the teeny little race-car spaceships that make no sense in a world with actual physics (meanwhile, Andros is somewhere yelling STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP OMG YOU GUYS! and I don't really blame him for that) and then there is fighting with sting wingers... who apparently can breathe in space. It is terribly boring and the Fish head for Terra Venture, so of course everybody else does too. Even though the Rangers JUST came from there. They could have just hung out, slept a little longer, and been fine. But whatever. I'm sure Damon will point this out later, even if it's behind the scenes.

MD enters the scene, with intense pain in his heart and a dramatically loud heartbeat. His cape swishes dramatically in the wind. He is so wonderful.

Bad guys catch the Fish in a clay jar. There are more bad guys fighting over this. Why so many bad guys, show? This gets confusing. Trakeena has the best plan. Shapeshifters ftw!

MD has a dramatic fight. It's very dramatic. He kind of fails at it, though, but at least he loses very dramatically! The Fish get away and there is more bad guy talk, where they plan to test the lights. It's not going to go well for the poor sod who believed Scorpius wants him to test the lights. These bad guys, numerous as they are, really aren't very bright. MD is terribly upset and just oozes the drama with his lack of facial expression.

The Rangers lose a fight, far less dramatically than MD does, and they force demorph. Which is fine because this allows for unmorphed fighting with sting wingers! I heartily approve. They are determined not to let the bad guy destroy all the things, though, and he's making a valiant effort to do so. Trakeena uses this time to point out to her dad that he doesn't have the Fish yet, even though he was supposed to, and manages to get a general ousted from the ship for treason. Her plan worked brilliantly. She is clearly the smartest.

Then the Rangers morph again (sad) and fight and it's terribly boring. It's supposed to be dramatic? Except Magna Defender isn't there so it can't possibly be awesomely dramatic. They're about to lose horribly when Trakeena sends her shapeshifting monster down to stop the bad guy. She starts to take the Fish back, and then MD shows up so the scene can be appropriately dramatic. Thank goodness! He manages to destroy everybody with super dramatic monologues and dramatically swishy cape. Oh MD. This show would just be too cheesy without your awesomeness.

He goes for the Fish, but Leo stops him, insisting he has too much anger in his heart. The Fish are apparently sentient and decide the Rangers are more worthy than MD, so they choose the Rangers instead, shining over them and just handing over the power. Why the Fish didn't just go "You guys totes deserve my shiny awesome powers, here, have them" from the start, I don't know. Apparently the Fish of Orion only gave the Rangers shinier plastic swords, gold arm bands, and big claws. Whatever works.

Magna Defender dramatically pouts behind a tree and then flees to go be alone with his pain. This is the only part of this episode that makes ANY sense whatsoever.

5 fish. Because... yeah. I still can't tell you what the heck this episode was about.