Episode 109 - Storybook Rangers Part 2

Today on Power Rangers - one giant long masturbation joke. Look, I don't make this stuff up, I just report it. This episode might have been the most hilarious episode since the Oysterizer.

The episode begins with Adam, Aisha and Billy in the Command Center. Adam is all worried for Rocky, Kimberly and Tommy, while Aisha is determined. I feel that this pretty much sums up their personalities. I love them. Zordon tells them he's located the book, although he doesn't know what book it is, so the three of them head down to the book fair to see if they can find the book that has the three missing rangers in it.

Meanwhile, the storybook!Trio are in a snowy cave. Rocky is very cold, even though he is wearing more clothing than anyone else. Logic says that he is hoping that they remember that body heat will warm them up. They should share some.

Back in Bulk and Skull's TARDIS lab, they are bringing their monster to life. With some help from Rita and Zedd, although they don't know it yet. The monster does live, and it is a robo!Turkey. Bulk and Skull do the only thing they can - they run.

At the bookfair, the Rangers are somehow really frustrated by the amount of books. I... don't understand. How can you be frustrated by books? (Okay, a book called "Know Your Iguana" could be frustrating. But. But. BOOKS.) They were making fun of the Grumble book, when it starts to glow, and they open the book to see the Storybook!Trio in the book. I don't even know.

Back in the storybook, Grumble shows up in the cave, and tells them that the monster that had been chasing them has been stuck by the snow or something ridiculous like that. They realize they might not get to the end of the book, and Tommy comes up with a really good plan. I'm not even being sarcastic this time! He decides that they should backtrack to the beginning of the book, and have the Magician break the spell on Grumble so the story can end and they can all go home. (Grumble gets my favorite line of the episode - "Couldn't you have picked on Dr. Seuss?")

Zordon notices that there's a new monster, and tells him its name. The roboturkey is called the Turkey Jerk. At first we thought it was an accidental masturbation joke, but... um... well, here's a sampling of dialogue from the episode.

"That turkey's a little hard to swallow!"
"Billy just needs a moment to rest!"
"Go at him from all sides at once."
"Wherever he turns there's a Ranger in his face."
"I just hope our strength holds up!"
"You've launched your last berry!"

Look, it isn't quite as awesome as the Oysterizer, but we were both laughing hysterically through the whole thing.

Anyway, the monster thinks that Bulk and Skull are its parents. Aww! The Turkey Jerk has two daddies! I feel this is oddly appropriate. Skull is worried that if the monster defeats the Rangers it will be their fault, but Bulk has faith in the Rangers. Oh, Bulk! ♥ Anyway, the three remaining Rangers beat the turkey jerk with the power cannon.

Inside the book, the magician is an asshole. An oddly bondage themed asshole, but I guess that's how this show rolls these days. He refuses to help them, and the storybook!Rangers are defeated. However, Aisha, who is reading along in the Command Center, has a plan. But it is NOT a good plan. She DRAWS IN THE BOOK AND THERE IS MUCH SOBBING. So, she makes the toys, and Grumble delivers them, and the book is now DAMAGED and I am all only able to express how I feel in caps and emoticons. >:(

As soon as Grumble gives the toys to the children, the Rangers are free. But Rita and Zedd aren't done with the book yet, and they send the grumpy bondage magician to attack Angel Grove. The Rangers call their Zords, and there's a fight, and it was completely unnecessary to the plot.

Later, at the bookfair, Ms. Applebee is pleased because they've raised a lot of money for the library. Adam is all excited that they got to be in a book. Tommy doesn't like fairytales, which might explain my problem with him. Bulk and Skull return their books, and Kimberly offers up the Grumble book to them instead. However, it appears that the spell is still on the book and Grumble waves at Bulk and Skull, who run away. Don't make them be scared of books, Rangers! This is BAD FORM.

Fish: 3. It was pretty average.

Billy speak: "If I can just figure out a way to alter their molecular structure"

Fic people should write us: Body heat sharing in the cave.

Episode 108- Storybook Rangers Part 1

Today we squee over our mutual adoration of books. That's really the best part of this episode arch, I think.

So we start out in a book fair at the high school. Stone Canyon apparently never had book fairs because Aisha, Adam, and Rocky are all marveling at the mere idea. Adam is lost in a book when Billy runs over, all excited at having found Quantum Physics Can Be Fun, which he's apparently been trying to find for a number of months. Rocky has found a book on meditation, which he tells Tommy would be great for their martial arts, and Tommy just takes it right out of his hand while asking if he can read it. Poor Rocky is just left there with his hand in the air where the book once was going "uh..." and looking like a lost puppy.

Kim says she loves fairy tales while looking through the books on the fairy tale table, because she always wanted to be a princess and get rescued by her white knight in shining armour or something like that. Kim, honey, you could be SO much more than a damsel in distress, though I do admit to loving fairy tales myself. Tommy throws out a line about a white tiger instead of knight and I have to roll my eyes. But I can't hate Tommy too much in this episode, much as I want to. Kim has found a book she adored as a little girl, a book her father used to read to her every night at bedtime, called Grumble the Magic Elf (my father read me Jeremy Mouse... so I totally get where Kim is coming from here). She gets very nostalgic and Tommy immediately buys the book for her. That earns him about a billion points in my sight, but alas, he'll probably lose all those awesome points within the next few episodes.

So Tommy, Kim, and Rocky agree to go meet Aisha, Adam, and Billy at the Youth Center. On the way, Kim is looking through her new book when Rita, while Zedd is napping, decides to beat the rangers by sending three of them into Kim's storybook. So she zaps the book with her awesome wand and then zaps Tommy, Kim, and Rocky into the book. Kim recognizes where they are and they begin the trek to the end of the story.

Meanwhile, Billy is wandering around the Youth Center while reading his new quantum physics book and Adam is sitting behind a pile of books at a table. Oh boys! We completely understand. We're the same way. Aisha joins them and asks about what books they're reading while they wait for the other three.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have found a book for Skull's mother about how to cook a Thanksgiving feast, and a book for themselves about how to make monsters. So they hightail it back to Skull's garage/workroom/whatever it is from previous episodes so they can make their own monster to attract the Power Rangers. They forgot batteries, though, so Bulk puts Skull in charge of finishing the monster while he goes to the store. Skull gets ready but then has misplaced the book, so he runs all over the place, up and down some stairs, into drawers and cabinets, and good holy hell this garage is ENOURMOUS. It's bigger than the houses I grew up in, based just on this scene. We theorize that it's not actually a garage but rather a TARDIS, seeing as it's much bigger on the inside. Seeing as Skull has a TARDIS, we can only assume he's a Time Lord. I'm now completely in love with this idea and we both spent a good bit of the next scene yelling at the screen for Skull to just open his pocketwatch! Open your watch, Skull! You could do AMAZING things!

Anyway, he eventually finds the book, but accidentally grabs his mother's Thanksgiving feast book and uses it to finish building the monster. Bulk comes back, all gleeful and ecstatic at the opportunity to animate his monster. Clearly, Bulk is a direct descendant of Dr. Frankenstein.

Back in the storybook, the Transported Trio run across Grumble the Magic Elf who is really just Ticklesneezer in a Santa suit. He's a very grumpy elf and I ADORE him and his grumblings. He has to get toys to kids and he's NOT happy about it.

The Non-Transported Trio are beginning to wonder what's keeping the others. Aisha calls it perfectly when she says Tommy is always late but Rocky and Kim really ought to be there by now. They can't find them back at the book fair, nor can they raise them on the communicators, so Billy says they should go tell Zordon. I know I should be surprised Zordon hasn't noticed anything amiss yet, but frankly I'm so used to Zordon!Fail that I knew he wouldn't know what's going on.

Zedd, having woken from his nap, decides he needs to keep the story from ending so the rangers can't ever escape it. He sends some putties into the book to steal the toys. They're rather ineffective putties and not at all Punctual Putties, but they eventually get the job done and leave Grumble without any toys, which he proceeds to, well, grumble about. The Transported Trio push forward through the story anyway, where they end up in a frozen snowy wasteland with a big monster that looks suspiciously like the Primator. They discover the morphers won't work and Rocky surmises it's because of the cold. I didn't know morphers could freeze. *sigh*

Back at the Command Center, Billy takes charge of the situation and says he's going to locate their communicator signals. Zordon tells him it's a good idea and that's about all the use he is. Billy finds the signals, figures out they're in a book, but nobody can figure out where the book is. Billy also manages to pull them up on the viewing globe and frankly, Zordon and Alpha are just useless here. Billy figures out the morphers are frozen and they all watch as the Transported Trio get attacked by the Snow Monster that isn't Primator (but really he is).

Fade to black and To Be Continued!

Fish: 3.5 It wasn't too bad, but there is an awfully big school of fish just swimming right out of Zedd's lack-of-logic here.

Billy speak: "Their morphers are experiencing hypothermal malfunctioning." OMG WE GOT BILLY SPEAK!

Nothing else that we keep track of, really. Though now I'm totally enamoured with the idea of Skull being a Time Lord, and I so want fic where he opens his Chameleon device!

Episode 107 - Best Man For The Job

Today on Power Rangers - The exciting world of Angel Grove politics! The Geography makes even less sense than usual! Skull channels Bert from Mary Poppins and Tommy really can't get along with anyone!

Seriously, I love this episode.

We begin with the announcement that school elections are being held. Billy decides that Tommy would make a good president, and we wonder if Billy hit his head before the episode began. The slogan he comes up with for Tommy's campaign (Tommy Oliver - the best man for the job) just confirms this. Why would Tommy be good at being president? What are his qualifications? Has he expressed any interest in running for student council? I think not.

Aisha clearly has some sense, because she pulls Kim aside and tells her that sometimes the best man for the job is a woman, and that Kim should run for class president. This is slightly better. But do you know who would make an awesome class president? Aisha. You know, the one who already has control issues and wants to improve the community? Remember that? But instead Aisha decides that Kim should run and she'll manage the campaign.

Kimberly asks Tommy if he'd be okay with her running against him. He tells her it's fine, and I don't see why he has a say in it. *grumpy* But the fact is, he does support her in this, so he gets about a million points for that. The two of them agree to have a nice campaign since they're friends. Aww.

In an amazing nod to continuity, Skull would also like to be class president. He will get rid of homework, detention, and school if he's elected. Bulk ignores him for a minute, and then decides that he should run for president on a campaign promise of revealing the Rangers' secret identities. He seems to think these will be in the school files. ... Right. Skull sulks for a minute, and then supports Bulk. Don't worry, Skull, we're only a season and a half away from Bulk supporting you!

Up on the moon, Rita and Zedd start arguing over who could come up with a better plan to destroy the Rangers. Zedd goes off to plot, while Rita just pulls out the glowing rope of doom and puts a spell on Tommy and Kim to make them really try to beat each other. Because we need another lesson in learning to get along. (Common denominator of all of those spells - Tommy. HA.) As soon as they trip over the glowing rope of doom they begin to bicker, and clearly the writers' know exactly what Tommy's weaknesses are, because Kimberly hits the nail on the head with her insults.

The next day Tommy is drawing a mustache and a beard on Kimberly's poster. Billy shows up and is all horrified, but Tommy just then covers up his own handiwork with a sign of himself. Billy lets Tommy know that they're ahead in the polls by 15% (really? When was this poll? They just announced this earlier that day! And are we sure the polling data is accurate?) and Tommy tells him he wants to beat Kim by 50%. Kimberly and Aisha show up, and Kim and Tommy start arguing about who will win. They accost some random guy in the hall, and Tommy is all "You WILL vote for me, right?" except Kimberly grabs the same guy and informs Tommy he'll vote for her. "Win with Kim!" (Which is a much better slogan than the best man for the job. Anyway.) Billy walks off with Tommy, and Kimberly defaces Tommy's poster so that it says "Don't Vote For Dummy." *DEAD*

Bulk is campaigning in a top hat. How is he so awesome?

Rocky and Adam finally show up. We're pretty sure that they were off making out. Or they just didn't want to choose between their friends. I like the first theory better.

Tommy finds a note taped to his locker telling him to go to the park if he wants information on how to destroy Kimberly. He goes, and it is, of course, a trap. Goldar and some putties are waiting for him. There's a pretty awesome fight scene, but Tommy is quickly overwhelmed. Zordon actually notices something, and calls the other Rangers, who are busy confronting Kim about the negative campaign. Kimberly mocks Tommy for getting into trouble again, and then the five Rangers morph in the hallway. Secret identities? Really?

Kim and Tommy spend the whole fight arguing with each other. Goldar is totally confused, because they're completely ignoring him, trampling any putties who get in the way of their bickering. Goldar finally manages to get their attention by stealing Saba and Kimberly and Tommy continue to argue over whose fault it was.

Back at the Command Center, Billy has finally realized that maybe the two of them are under a spell. Zordon agrees, and says that smelling roses will fix it.

.....

Right. So they smell the roses and apologize to each other. Tommy stays behind to help Alpha build an electromagnet (I DON'T EVEN KNOW) to get Saba back, while the other Rangers go back to the park. Keep in mind they are at the park. This is important. Rita is actually on Earth (although we don't get to see her bicycle) and she uses Saba to summon the tigerzord. The other Rangers call the megazord and they fight. Except the fight scene keeps going between a fight at the lake and a fight in downtown. I'm pretty sure there aren't any giant buildings in the middle of Angel Grove park, except they clearly squash one during the fight. Angel Grove geography makes no sense at all.

Tommy shows up with the magnet and they get the sword back, and Rita teleports back to the moon. Everyone is happy.

Later, at the Youth Center the candidates are giving their speeches. Why this is being held at the juice bar and not in the school we.... have no idea. Kim is wrapping up a speech, where she has clearly outlined a plan and has done research. (Or Aisha has. I have a theory.) Tommy gets up to give his speech, and instead says that actually, Kim would be better at this than he would be, because she clearly has a plan, and he's just there to look pretty. So he forfeits.

Skull shows up, all one man band and announces Bulk. Bulk is all dressed up as Uncle Sam and makes his speech about the identity of the Rangers. Then the elections are held. I guess there are only 100 people in the whole school? But Kim wins. Bulk demands a recount, and the principal tells him that he only got one vote. Bulk glares at Skull, and Skull says that Kim made an awesome speech.

I am actually not too happy with this election - I would have liked Kim to win based on her awesome speech, and not just because Tommy dropped out and basically gave it to her. She did the research, and Tommy wasn't prepared. Basically, she won by default, and I'm just not okay with that.

Oh well.

Five episodes left in the season! We're getting there!

Fish: 3.5! Hey, we've gotten out of the high fish episodes!

Fic people should write us: President Aisha! And grownup!Skull/Kim!

Episode 106- Return of the Green Ranger Part 3

Today on Power Rangers, history STILL doesn't work that way!

This episode is all about Tommy's self esteem. He spends the whole thing beating himself up. Literally.

Anyway, we start off with Good!Tommy being all weak and fuzzy. His vision is blurry, he stumbles around, and at one point he falls down some steps. Meanwhile, Rita and Zedd are arguing about who's idea it was to send the rangers to the past.

Back in 17something, in Angel Grove That Should Not Exist, all the supposedly-British redcoats have very distinct Australian accents. They are looking for the witches and end up finding the really big rats instead. Everybody flees in terror.

Good!Tommy must morph and go fight Evil!Tommy. So they fight again. In their zords. DragonZord, in coming out of the water, manages to soak the entire warehouse district... and it's actually got people working in it! Alas, nothing gets destroyed.

Good!Tommy has to go back in time to get the other rangers, so he steals the wand from the freaky wizard guy and transports himself back. The other rangers want to stop the rat monster things, but he says there is no time and they have to go stop Evil!Tommy instead. So... they all just go. It's TIME TRAVEL, Dude. You can stop the rats and go back to your own time the exact second you LEFT IT. As in, the FUTURE can wait while you beat up some rats. But no. They all go back and stop Evil!Tommy.

So eventually Good!Tommy manages to break the spell on Evil!Tommy. And BUZWHA????? Under a spell? Since when? How? He's a clone of ONLY THE EVIL PARTS OF TOMMY. If that's a spell, his entire BEING is a spell. But whatever. So now Evil!Tommy is Good!Green!Tommy. Good!White!Tommy tries to get the rangers to stop fighting the DragonZord and Good!Green!Tommy manages to deactivate him just in time.

Tommy Squared go back in time by themselves and beat up the rats. White Ranger Tommy comes back to the present but leaves Green Ranger Tommy in the past... where they somehow accept him into their town instead of burning him at the stake.

Back in Present Day Might-Potentially-Exist Angel Grove, the rangers are trying to cheer Adam up because he's sad they had to leave Marissa behind (he invited her to join them but she refused, and then Rocky literally DRAGGED him away). A girl nearby drops all her books and Adam helps her pick them up, only to come face to face with a present day Marissa. Show? Genetics doesn't work like that.

The only good part of the whole episode? Not-Really-There 17something Angel Grove Redcoat Skull says Green Ranger Tommy can join his... "regiment". Just like that. His [long pause] regiment. Oh show. *smishes it so so much*

List time!
5 fish. Just... no.

Other things we keep track of? Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Fic we really want? Ms. Applebee telling the class about the legend of the Giant Rats that terrorized the Angel Grove that really oughtn't exist.

Episode 105- Return of the Green Ranger - Part 2

Today, on the Tommy show, we continue to butcher history!

We open in 1760ish Angel Grove, where a very Australian girl (named Marissa) is hiding the Rangers in a wheelhouse. She is undisturbed by their clothes, their speech, and the fact that they claim to be from 200+ years in the future. (They keep claiming it is only 200 years in the past, but that doesn't work, unless Angel Grove was another British protectorate and not part of America. And, you know, at that point in time California was Spanish. Of course, the entire timeline is completely screwed up, so I don't know why it's bothering me as much as it is. But really, history doesn't work like that.)

The Rangers attempt to explain things to Marissa (including Kimberly and Aisha trying to explain the mall to her) and Billy gives her an actual explanation. We don't really get to see her reaction, because we cut back to the present, where good!Tommy is standing around glaring at evil!Tommy. We are rooting for evil!Tommy. (I'm sure you're surprised by this.) Tommy claims that his dark side vanished, and we just have to laugh. (Also, I'm a big supporter of Ellen Brand's Tommy has MPD theory, so I love this episode more than is probably healthy.)

In the cutest scene of the episode, Bulk and Skull are sleeping on the grass, cuddling together. When they wake up, Bulk immediately remembers the wizard and starts asking Skull about it. Skull is confused, and asks Bulk if he ate beans for lunch, because he always has weird dreams after eating beans. Oh, BOYS. *pets them*

Zordon has finally noticed that something is going on. We nearly fall off the couch in surprise.

And now for the highlight of the episode - TOMMY VS TOMMY. They morph (good!Tommy calls it out, and evil!Tommy is all "I was hoping you'd say that") and then they fight. For some reason there are sparks between them (literally) whenever they touch. (We assume it's the contact of so many fish, they cause sparks) You guys, we missed the shield of cheap bling. It is so nice to see it again. The wizard guy is all "mwahaha, Tommy, I'm surprised you're still fighting" and good!Tommy says something about the human spirit, but it's been like 30 seconds, we don't know why he's so pleased with himself. Still, Tommy ends up falling to his knees (that happens to him a lot) and he gets his powers drained (... that also happens to him a lot) and the wizard sends evil!Tommy off to annoy Zordon, while he goes back in time to annoy the other Rangers.

Back in 17whatever, Kimberly is claiming that Tommy will save them, and I'm saved from my disgust by the appearance of the chief redcoat - someone who appears to be Skull's ancestor! Aww, Skull! Kimberly is all confused. They try to explain things to ancestor!Skull, but he isn't listening and tries to arrest them. Oh, and for some reason, they can't call Zordon on their communicators. The fish must be jamming them. (Why they aren't just trying to walk to the Command Center we.... really don't know.)

At the Command Center, evil!Tommy is there to taunt Zordon in some very familiar footage. Except this time he doesn't short circuit Zordon. Clearly, a pale imitation of the original. But he does tell Zordon that wherever the Rangers are, history is repeating itself. Somehow, Zordon deduces that this means they've been sent back through time and now they have to work backwards and scan for their genetic markers, and look, I'm not making this up, I only report it.

On the moon, Rita and Zedd are dancing to celebrate! They are so adorable, I love them so much. Zedd's big plan for once they've officially destroyed the Rangers? He and Rita should have a baby! There is much squealing from us, but Rita is disgusted, and runs away to make Finster make a new potion to make Zedd get over that idea. Finster is all "ooh, a baby!" but he starts trying to do what Rita tells him. Zedd wants the baby to have Rita's looks and his brains, but sadly the eventual spawn will be the other way around.

In 17whatever, Adam grabs Marissa and drags her with them, as they run away. She clearly only believed them because the power of Adam's hotness compelled her to. To be fair, we can understand why. They start running through town, and Rocky jumps over a sheep. AMAZING. Marissa ends up leading them to her uncle's carriage that will carry them to safety (good thing Adam is so pretty, although how she summoned her uncle we.... really don't know.) and it turns out her uncle is Bulk's ancestor! Aww, Bulk! On Bulk's farm, Adam is making googly eyes at Marissa, while Rocky and Aisha are by the barn wall. Aisha tells Rocky his foot is tickling her, and it turns out that it isn't his foot (although, Rocky and Aisha playing footsie? yesplease.) but some rats. Aisha screams. (Wouldn't you?)

Then the wizard guy shows up, and turns the rats into rat monsters. The Rangers try to morph, but they can't, because they're 200 years before they met Zordon. WHAT. Look, they shouldn't have LOST their morphers just because they went into the past. It's also 200 years before they got those clothes - should they be wearing them? Also, the morphers tap into a morphin grid that is STILL THERE, so they should have been able to tap in anyway.

Back in the present, evil!Tommy has out his dragon dagger, and he is summoning the dragonzord. We are pleased. On the moon, Zedd has an evil laugh.

To be continued.

Fish: 4.5 (We needed a break from the 5 fish.)

Other things we usually keep track of: None!

Fic people should write us: I really would read the wacky adventures of time traveling Rangers. But I did just get fic where Kimberly tries to save Abraham Lincoln for my birthday, so you should all go read that.

Episode 104- Return of the Green Ranger Part 1

As if we didn't know already, today we learn that this show is secretly The Tommy Show.

So we start out in class where the only teacher in Angel Grove is giving an assignment. Over the three day weekend, they are supposed to write a paper on what time period in history they'd like to have lived in. Later, around what looks to be a patio table with a large umbrella, they talk about the assignment. Kim would like to live last year when she missed an awesome sale because she was sick. I'm not so happy with this new direction for Kim's character (or rather, taking her previous personality quirk to this extreme). Rocky would like to be a Viking. Too bad they'd probably try to kill him instead. Tommy would like to live in the time of King Arthur, probably because he doesn't know anything about it and can't tell fact from fiction. Adam is ADORABLE and wants to live in the Renaissance because it seems very ROMANTIC. Oh Adam. Be more adorable. I dare you. Aisha is conspicuously left out on our viewing of this discussion, because the last we ever hear of it Billy wants to be Albert Einstein's assistant. Oh Billy, you and Adam are about tied for adorableness here.

Adam mentions that he can come up with much better things to do with his three day weekend and Rocky agrees very enthusiastically (and with quite a lecherous glance). We're sure they've spent many a three day weekend doing... ahem... OTHER things. Like each other.

Zedd comes up with a plan, but he's going to have to butter up his wife to do it. Wifey Management Skills (TM my Spousal Person)? Zedd has them! At least until he says no wife will ever fail him. That's less with the Wifey Management and more with the Fail the Wifey. Zedd's plan is to get Rita to talk to her old creation that can manipulate time. He wants to send the rangers back in time so they'll be nothing but a memory. Except if he sends them back in time and they can't find a way to get back, they won't have existed in the current time to even be a memory. Then they wouldn't exist for Zedd to send them to the past. So... uh... wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff. Just go with it, I suppose, because that's the only way time travel doesn't give me a headache.

So Rita goes and talks to the evil lords and complains about her husband making her do all the work on his evil plans, and the evil lords totally feel her pain and agree to let her call on her time manipulator dude. But she has to get rid of Tommy or the time travel thing won't ever work, because apparently Tommy is a quick thinker and good at leading or something. Time Dude is a FREAKY looking beast consisting of pretty much just black robes, a very bad black wig, and a face mask from HELL. I'm a full grown adult with Small Children of my own and this thing could easily give ME nightmares. Anyway, Time Dude finds Bulk and Skull and immediately puts them under a spell. He asks that they bring him a lock of Tommy's hair. Frankly, I don't know why he needs it. He has all of Tommy's hair in that atrocious black wig on his big scary head.

Bulk and Skull freak Tommy out and fail at getting the lock of hair. Meanwhile, Tommy and Kim don't notice Bulk and Skull are under a spell. As the past season and a half of under a spell has shown us, nobody EVER notices when somebody else is under a spell. It's like they are unintentionally blind to it.

Tommy and Kim part ways, and Tommy is met by the Time Dude. He actually remembers he has a communicator though and calls Zordon, who conveniently didn't notice the monster until Tommy alerted him to it's presence, despite it having been on Earth for quite some time. Fail!Zordon... or maybe just part of his evil plan to get rid of Tommy. We're not quite sure. The other rangers go to Tommy's aide and jump right into a putty fight. Billy is super pretty and Rocky looks like a cheesy 90's gay porn star with his half-undone shirt and floppy hair. Not that I've watched cheesy 90's gay porn and would know what to look for or anything. Ahem.

So the putties manage to get Tommy mostly captured and the Time Dude knocks him out so they can take a lock of hair. LJ user doctoraicha makes the best quote of the night. "HE JUST CUT OFF SAMSON'S HAIR!" Tommy wakes up with a wicked headache while Time Dude, off to the side, creates and Evil Green Tommy. Full of Light And Goodness White Tommy goes to lay down because of his headache. Evil Green Tommy calls the other rangers to the city limits sign on the outskirts of town... and then chews a toothpick. The rangers show up and we see Angel Grove has a population of 376,000. Evil Green Tommy meets them there and nobody notices anything amiss. Nobody stops to say "Hey, what's with the suddenly going all Green again, Bro?" and they agree to not call Zordon to figure out what the heck they're doing there. Instead, they get sucked into a swirling wind vortex by the Time Dude, while Evil Green Tommy cackles evilly and they all lament his return to evilness.

They end of in PRE-REVOLUTIONARY WAR Angel Grove. Y'know, Angel Grove CALIFORNIA. Which CAN NOT have existed in pre-revolutionary times. Those redcoats? Shouldn't be there. That population 124 sign? Shouldn't be there. The town? Shouldn't exist. HISTORY DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. Nevermind the fact there is not a Latino face amongst the whole crowd! Really show? Really? Not a single Spaniard? No Mexicans? Nobody with an ounce of Spanish in their dialogue at all? CALIFORNIA with pasty white people with bad British accents? You REALLY went there show?

Uh, so, um, we figure this is just more evidence for Angel Grove being it's own country and it was under British rule during a much different time than the United States and so it's cool for them to be there in the late 1700's. And stuff. Ahem.

So people run and call them witches and then some random girl with an accent helps them hide from soldiers. Meanwhile, Full of Light And Goodness White Tommy is looking for Kim. He can't find her. He does find Evil Green Tommy who is still chewing on a toothpick, which I suppose is supposed to represent evil. Or something. Which isn't cool, show, but whatever.

List time!
5 fish. History... it makes no sense... and the time travel... and the... the... the... just, 5 fish.

No Billy speak, though he was gleefully excited at the mere thought of being Einstein's assistant.

Episode 103 - The Wedding - Part 3

Just so everyone knows, there won't be a recap this weekend, because I'm going to a SCA event. Your regularly scheduled recaps will start up again next week. (... Our schedule says we're supposed to be in season 3 by now. Oops.)

Anyway, the wedding. You guys, this is the greatest thing in the history of the show so far. If the entire episode had been the wedding, it would have been amazing. Finster performs the ceremony! Goldar didn't bother to get musicians because he's trying to sabotage the wedding it was such short notice! One of the monsters ends up playing the wedding march! Speaking of, Rita's version of the wedding march is "Here comes the queen, ain't that a scream." ILU, Rita. BE MORE AWESOME, I DARE YOU. And Goldar speaks up when Finster asks if there's a reason why they shouldn't wed, and Rita hits him with her bouquet. Zedd calls Rita his little prickly pear, and she doesn't want to kiss him!

I have a thing for ridiculous wedding related hijinks, and this is pretty much amazing.

Also, there are fireworks on the moon. And then they dance to hava nagila. (HAVA NAGILA FIGURE SKATING, YOU GUYS. I LOVE YOUTUBE.) We're not really sure why Zedd and Rita chose to play Hava Nagila at their wedding, since it wasn't a Jewish ceremony, but we don't really care, because it is awesome. And the putties and monsters were dancing, and seriously, LOVE.

... Oh, right. There's a plot that isn't about Rita and Zedd. Um, Alpha is still evil, and we adore him. The Rangers are trapped in the abandoned theater, supposedly without their powers even though they're still morphed. Rocky punches the ground and that causes a mini earthquake. I guess that wasn't part of the random power loss. And then they throw a net over the monster that was guarding them and run out the abandoned mine shaft again.

Rita and Zedd are honeymooning on Serpenterra (Rita is sitting on Zedd's lap and they are singing 99 bottles of slime on the wall, and did I mention that Serpenterra has a just married sign?) when Goldar calls to let them know that the Rangers escaped. They tell him to deal with it.

The Rangers make it back to the Command Center, and they pull the disc out of Alpha, and his normal personality reappears, which means no more evil!Alpha. That is a tragedy. Billy figures out some way to get Zordon back, and Alpha feels guilty. Then they go summon Zords and fight a bunch of monsters. Tommy shows off a lot.

At the end, they go back to Australia, and their chaperone is impatient because they it's been two hours and they have to head to a museum now. That was only two hours? Really? ... Right. The Rangers go off to the museum, and Alpha realizes that he left Bulk and Skull in the middle of the outback, so he brings them back, dumping them on their asses in the process. Whatever.

This... did not have a lot of plot. Sorry!

Fish: 5. It doesn't matter how much I love this episode, it was still completely ridiculous.

Episode 102- The Wedding Part 2

I'd like to thank everybody for the awesome birthday wishes yesterday! I had a fantastic day. Today, however, I'm being attacked by spawning Triffids intent on killing me (with their pollen, not the venomous tentacles). We'll see how that goes.

So the best part about this episode? Monsters in love! It's adorable.

So the Rangers are still trapped in this weird abandoned theatre being attacked by a gaggle of monsters (a murder of monsters? A school of monsters? A pack of monsters? What would a large family group of monsters be called?... we both vote for murder of monsters, like a murder of crows). They fight, while still morphed, and do surprisingly well considering they AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANY POWERS. Ahem. Anyway. They eventually run away and try to find a way out of the abandoned theatre. They can't get out the front and find a very convenient hidden stairwell. It leads to a basement, which leads to an Old Abandoned Mine Shaft. This Old Abandoned Mine Shaft leads them right out of the power-blocking theatre.

Meanwhile, Rita wakes Zedd on the moon. He's completely smitten with her and they make plans for the immediate wedding. It's freaking ADORABLE. Squat wants to be the Flower Beast and Baboo wants to be the Monkey of Dishonour! Seriously, the MONKEY OF DISHONOUR! Oh folks, I think I'M in love here! Goldar stomps off after being named the Best Man and we assume it's because he's jealous (and terrified for his treacherous treacherous life).

We are curious about something here. Rita has the Power Rangers tied up with all the monsters in the Old Abandoned Theatre of Power Blocking Ability because she doesn't want them interfering with her wedding. Why would they in the first place? How would they even KNOW she was getting married? I mean, it's not like Zordon actually pays attention to what Zedd is doing up on that moon anyway (and Zordon is totally still wearing the awesome graffiti Evil!Alpha put on him last episode).

But back to the show, the Rangers find their freedom thanks to the Old Abandoned Mine Shaft and they find themselves in an abandoned city where they have to fight all the monsters that are now grown. We'd just like to take a moment to say Evil!Alpha is awesome and should have gotten an entire season of his own as the Big Bad. He'd have been PHENOMENAL. Anyway, there is a zord fight and they all fail really really hard. Alpha then teleports them back to the Old Abandoned Theatre of Power Blocking Ability and they just SIT AROUND on the staircase. They don't try to get out. They don't leave out the UNGUARDED front door. They don't backtrack their way down the Old Abandoned Mine Shaft. They just kind of... sit there. And wait. For... whatever they are waiting to happen.

Frankly, it makes me want to call in Scooby Doo and Mystery, Inc. because seriously? They'd have this figured out and taken care of in about two seconds flat, and then Billy could hit on Velma. I kind of have a thing, sorry.

On the moon, Zedd has called all his monsters to him, all but two which he sends back to guard the rangers. They come bearing gifts and discuss how weddings always make them cry. Aw, the big softies. There is a wedding cake with ADORABLE Rita and Zedd cake toppers. Zedd calls his monsters closer and calls them his mutant sons, and then says they are one big evil family. I am ded of adorable!

And that's it. We end with me being Ded of Adorable.

List time!
5 fish. OMG 5 fish. These episodes are just swimming in schools of fish.

No Billy speak nor covered in food. But there was lots of adorable monsters in love!

Fic we want? Evil!Alpha- what if he'd been evil all along and Zordon was (failing) at brainwashing him? Or just Evil!Alpha in general, because he is awesome.

Episode 101 - The Wedding - Part 1

So, episode 101 is the end of an era. Billy is losing his glasses, Aisha's hair is in braids, and Rita has made her glorious return! Oh, and for some reason we're headed to Australia. But don't despair, , even though we're in Australia, there is no sign of Kat yet!

The reason that the Rangers are in Australia is ridiculous, btw. Apparently schools in Angel Grove don't just go on class trips - no, they are selected to be teen exchange speakers, so they head off to Australia. I assume the fish picked them, because really? Angel Grove is letting Bulk and Skull go on this trip? Aren't they worried about an international incident? (Skull wonders if they're going to take a train to Australia. I can't even comment on that. Also, why are there no teachers going along?)

Luckily, the Rangers are going on the trip anyway, because the trip miraculously coincides with Zedd's 100 year recharge of evil energies. He just needed a beauty nap or something. Which means that Rita, who has apparently recruited all the fish to help her pilot her dumpster, is returning to the moon with a new sinister plan - she's going to marry Zedd and rule the universe!

In Australia, we guess they ended up in Sydney, because the show realizes that the only landmark Americans would know is the Sydney Opera House. Kimberly is all excited about shopping, and the Rangers are all really damn pretty. Even Tommy! What the hell? Anyway, first it's time for lunch, and Bulk and Skull are all confused by the menu. First they order burgers, and then they change their mind and try to order lobster, but they specify extra fresh. This apparently means live lobster. ..... I can't even comment.

Back at the Command Center, Alpha is really bored because the Rangers are gone. Alpha, you were all alone for 10,000 years! What did you do for that? Crosswords? Sudoku? Write bad romance novels? It doesn't matter, because Zordon tells him to go for a walk.

On the moon, it is time for hugs! Finster is all sad that he is useless now, and he misses Rita. Luckily, Rita is there! He makes her grow, and makes her a potion to make her beautiful, and a potion to make Zedd fall in love with her. Oh, and he goes down to Earth and puts a virus in Alpha. For the record, evil!Alpha is the best thing in the history of this show.

In Australia, the teens are given two hours to go shopping, which is apparently not enough time (well, for Kimberly and Aisha.) I'm sure that important things happened here, but it is entirely possible that there was a really long discussion about their hair, so I have no idea. (Adam did... something, I don't know. I'm not a fan. But I am a fan of Rocky's floppy hair. And floppy hair in general. Whatever.) Alpha comes over the communicator, and tells them that they need to teleport to some abandoned theatre in Angel Grove. Zordon is yelling at Alpha, asking him what's happened, and Alpha lets loose with a bunch of amazing insults and a hilarious evil laugh. (Baldy! He calls Zordon BALDY. AMAZING.) The Rangers are all nervous, but they go anyway.

So while this is going on, Finster has completed the potion to make Rita beautiful, but... really, all it does is make her sparkle. Rita is clearly a sparklepire! She then dumps the love potion in Zedd's sleep machine thing, and waits for the Rangers to teleport into the theatre, which apparently contains some sort of magical vortex thing that will prevent them from using their powers. Except they're still morphed. Whatever.

The most important thing to know about this episode is that evil!Alpha decided to draw on Zordon's warp tube, so Zordon goes around with a blue mustache and giant blue hair. It was exactly as amazing as it sounds.

The Rangers are all in the abandoned theatre thing, and there are really freaky clownheads, and seriously, clowns are creepy.

Rita sends a bunch of monsters (Eye Guy, Snizard, Grumble Bee, peckster, soccadillo, rhinoblaster, Saliguana and Invenusable Fly Trap) down to attack the Rangers in the theatre. They realize that they can't summon their weapons, but they are still morphed. Oh noes!

To be continued...

Fish: Five! We're on a streak of high fish episodes. Oh, show!

Episode 100- Rangers Back In Time Part 2

It's the 100th episode! Happy 100th episode, everybody!!! It's only fitting that the 100th episode is also FULL of fish. Like, full to overflowing with fish.

Last time on Power Rangers, our rangers were adorable Tiny Children that had been captured in a photograph. Because the monster of the day captures people inside photographs. Remember that fact. It'll be important later. Goldar is sent down to get the picture but the wind blows it away before he can grab it. Blows it right into Bulk's eagerly waiting hands, that is. And, like the TOTALLY AWESOME Tiny Child that he is, Bulk starts to run off so he can give the photograph to a grown up. Because that's just what you do when you see six children disappear into a photograph. Or, at least, it's what you SHOULD do.

Zordon and Alpha are working on some kind of molecular descrambler to both get the rangers out of the photo AND turn them back into teenagers. Frankly, molecular descrambling just doesn't sound healthy to me, no matter how you slice it. Now, keep in mind that Zordon could have teleported the photograph directly to the Command Center. Barring that, he could have teleported Bulk and Skull with the photograph to the Command Center and then their memories would have been erased when the world was put back in it's rightful time. That would have been the smart thing to do. So did Zordon do that? Of course not! Instead, he sends Alpha to go rescue Bulk and Skull from Goldar and retrieve the photo. That's right, ALPHA is going to beat Goldar. Somehow.

Fish take over here and Alpha uses a freeze ray to stop not only Goldar, but the camera monster thing too. Bulk and Skull run off in fear and end up in the high school, where they bump into Principal Caplan who has Very Bad Hair (but not as bad as Tiny!Rocky). They tell Caplan the kids were caught in the photo, but he doesn't believe them. Caplan gives them detention and we're left wondering why a bunch of 8 year olds ran to a high school, why a high school teacher is giving obviously non-high school students detention, but most importantly, why in the world did nobody manage to come up with one tiny shred of a logical idea in regards to time travel for this episode? Seriously? Five minutes of an episode of Doctor Who could have given them something to make it even the slightest bit believable. But no. We get... this mess.

But I digress. Having dealt with the Fail!Principal, Skull is now sitting in detention drawing faces on the Tiny!Rangers in the photograph. Bulk takes it from him and draws something himself. I am blown away by how much Tiny!Skull looks like Pretending-To-Be-A-Teenager!Skull. It was about the only good casting of this whole episode. Alpha teleports into the room and both boys freak out thinking he's a martian. I would just like to take this moment to say I LOVE TINY BULK AND SKULL! Seriously, they were spot on AWESOMELY ADORABLE.

Alpha takes the picture and Bulk and Skull get put to sleep while Alpha gets the kids out of the picture. They have mustaches. It's great. We are only subjected to Rocky's horrible horrible hair for a moment because Alpha convinces them to let him SCRAMBLE THEIR MOLECULES so they'll be teenagers again. Science SO does NOT work like that.

They have to morph quickly and go fight Goldar and the camera monster. The camera monster grows and Tommy orders Rocky to go fight it ALONE. So he does. Because Rocky is awesome and capable like that, and he even does it without bragging about it, because he's not a smarmy bastard. Ahem. Anyway. Tommy takes on Goldar and a bunch of putties on his own. The others are off doing... um... something. We don't know what. Exchanging fashion tips? Discussing science projects? Doing each others makeup? Each others hair? Each other? We have our theories. They eventually show up and call their zords to go help Rocky.

Because, you see, the camera monster has taken a picture of Rocky's zord. And it didn't capture the zord. It just made a copy of the zord. Which... we think the fish switched something inside the monster or something because this monster? Soooo didn't work like that earlier. Anyway, they beat the monster and Tommy knocks out ALL the putties (while being a smarmy bastard about it). They threaten Goldar and he runs away, per usual.

Meanwhile, the planet's foundation is destabilizing... yes, I wrote that right. The planet's foundation is DESTABILIZING because of the EVOL Rock of Time. Oh show. Can you make any less sense? So the rangers go find the EVOL Rock of Time and have to fight some old monsters to get to it. They fight the Venus Fly Trap monster thing and the Mole Monster thing, and best of all, Billy tries, and FAILS, to take on the VULVA MONSTER! Adam has to help him. Guys, we totally missed everything else about this fight because we were all capsing about the Vulva Monster. I LOVE the Vulva Monster (take from that what you will). The only other thing I got about this fight is the Kim is the only person capable of handling the Vulva Monster.

The EVOL Rock of Time is destroyed, Earth is returned to it's normal time, and the rangers go back to school where Bulk and Skull are still in detention. Caplan asks them how their essays are coming along and they don't remember being given detention or essays. We're not sure why Caplan remembers. Except then he forgets what they were supposed to be doing and then makes them write stuff on the board because they practically live in detention anyway.

Oh show.

5 fish. Yeah...

No Billy speak. Nobody covered in food.