Episode 90- Mirror of Regret

Today we see a rarity. Power Rangers, in it's natural habitat, performing the seldom observed Character Development. Come, let's observe.

So Adam and Rocky are showing off their pretty pretty talented selves. To a class of Small Children. Whom they are supposedly teaching martial arts to, except really they're just showing off and the kids do something completely different. I do like that they're all synchronized and matchy. It's cute. Anyway, one child is not so hot at the routine they're working on and he keeps bumping into the kid next to him. Despite being the same height, Slightly Chubby Boy (who is set up to look obviously chubby) insults Awkward Boy and calls him "shrimp" and "small fry". Adam and Rocky tell him to knock it off, that the kind of attitude Slightly Chubby Boy is demonstrating isn't a team attitude at all. Uh... since when is martial arts a team sport?

Adam offers to give Awkward Boy, aka Shawn, private tutelage in the park. They go off together and Adam gives him some useful advice like "feet apart". He then tells him not to let the bullies bother him, that he used to be small himself but then he grew. He really should have gone the route of there's nothing wrong with being small and then listed benefits to being small. Not all kids will grow and big and tall, and really there isn't anything wrong with being short. Anyway, there are about a million reasons NOT to pick on somebody and Adam addresses... um... none of them really.

So Awkward Boy does much better and then he heads off to the Youth Center by himself. Adam stays in the park for no discernible reason other than to be attacked by putties. You see, Zedd came up with a plan. He stalked Adam and realized he suffered from a lack of self confidence as a small child and he plans to make Adam relive all the teasing to wear him down and make him weak. So Zedd sent Goldar and a bunch of putties with the Mirror of Regret, a large mirror that shows Adam his past.

We see a terrible coach pick everybody for a team EXCEPT Tiny!Adam. We see him asking to play and other kids saying they don't want him on their team. Goldar brings Adam to his knees (and we figure it works since Jason is gone... he needed somebody to obsess over now...). We see Tiny!Adam being Emo. And so Big!Adam becomes Emo. And so it begins, the era of Emo Ranger! (not a knock, I love that Adam is Emo Ranger and he pulls it off SO WELL)

At the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull are tired from trying their martial arts from a book. They go to the bar and Ernie prompts young Shawn to abandon his homework and go show off his moves, thereby making Bulk and Skull feel like crap. They determine, however, that what they really need is MOAR SPACE. So off they go to practice.

Meanwhile, Zedd makes a monster that will laugh at all it's victims. He bases it off a laughing hyena, despite the fact that it looks nothing like a hyena, nor the skeletal structure of a hyena. It laughs like one though, and it's thematically appropriate, so I give her a pass. Zordon finally notices something is going on in Angel Grove, so he calls the other rangers, tells them what's going on with Adam, and then says they have to fight Skellerina without him. They go fight and lose horribly to... a group of putties.

Kim and Aisha manage to take out a putty together, but the rest of them seem to be doing pretty badly. Back in the park, Goldar is going to deliver the final blow to Adam by showing him Shawn and his lack of confidence. Instead, Adam sees Shawn proud of himself and sure he can do his routine. It gives Adam the strength the break the spell and regain his own confidence. He fights off the putties and then Goldar just vanishes.

Adam joins the others in the fight. Alpha has been working on a Plot Device Power Cannon and finishes it just in time for Adam to join the fight. Tommy tells him Skellerina is really powerful, yet they haven't fought her at all yet so I don't know where it came from. Alpha beams the Power Cannon to them, they all charge it up, they fire it, and it blows up Skellerina. Awesome! A non-Zord fight! We have too few of those. Zedd, pissed off his awesome plan failed so miserably, berates a groveling Goldar.

Back at the Youth Center, everyone is watching Adam and Rocky's class of Small Children do their routine. Only the class is all standing back and Shawn is the only one doing the routine. The others are in awe of his abilities and Slightly Chubby Boy apologizes for teasing him. They become friends (yeah, like THAT happens in real life). Shawn goes all doe-eyed and thanks Adam for all the help and encouragement. He's completely enamoured. Bulk and Skull come in from having practiced in the park and attempt to do their thing in the middle of the Youth Center. They knock each other over, however, and Shawn mocks them. Everybody laughs. Good job show, give an example of how bullying is bad and then turn around and bully people.

List time!
2 fish! It really was very consistent!

Billy speak: none, alas :(

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 89 - Goldar's Vice-Versa

Warning - potential triggers

Oh my God, you guys, I love this episode so much. I have so much fanon in regards to this episode, and I'm going to do my best to try and keep all of my ridiculous theories (Scorpina/Adam! Adam/Rocky/Aisha!poly relationship) to the point that they aren't entirely overwhelming the recap. Since you know, there's an actual plot. (Switching with wouldn't help, because I have just as much headcanon for Mirror of Regret.)

Anyway, we get a new opening, and there is much flailing as we take in the shots of the Stone Canyon Trio, and then some booing as we note that THAT SHOT of Kim is still in the opening. If I had any skill of editing vids, I would totally redo this opening so that the whole Kim fainting thing was not in there. But sadly I don't.

The actual episode begins, and apparently Rocky stole a pair of Jason's pants. Well, that isn't the important thing. The important thing is that Rocky and Adam are sparring, and I love them both so much. Seriously, so pretty. I would watch 22 minutes of them sparring.

Sadly, the demonstration is quickly over, and Billy shows up, and Adam and Rocky are disappointed that he missed their demonstration. Billy apologizes, saying he had a meeting with the vice-versa dance committee. Wait, Billy is on a dance committee? Really? Shouldn't that be Kim?

While we're boggling at that, Rocky explains the concept of a vice-versa dance, saying it's nice that the girls have to ask the guys. (Oh, honey, please stop trying to act. You're so lucky you're pretty.) We don't know why they didn't use the term Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Rocky says he's been invited to go by Jessica Peterson, who will never be mentioned again. Adam is sad, because nobody asked him to go to the dance and he doesn't expect anyone to. It is entirely possible that my response was "Oh honey, I would go to the dance with you." It is entirely possible that there were more caps involved. Billy tells him to cheer up, because nobody has asked him yet either. Cue an appearance of Laura from that really boring episode involving the Angelettes or whatever. We liked Marge much better. She asks Billy to the dance, and he is pleased. So tactless, Billy.

Bulk and Skull are hiding from the amazing female bullies, who want to ask them to the dance. We absolutely love the female bullies. Do they have names? Is there fic about them? We would like them a lot better if the show didn't show some fatphobia again, but we're going to ignore that, to go back to the drama about Adam's love life, which I find way more interesting.

Adam is still sulking about not having a date. But honestly, he just moved to Angel Grove a week before, so it isn't that unreasonable, especially since he's really shy. And since Aisha never has a date in this episode, I maintain that the only reason he doesn't ask her is because he and Rocky have both agreed not to, and Aisha seems really invested in finding him a date.

Up on the moon, Zedd has decided that HE will find a date for Adam. You know, Zedd's matchmaking service would actually be pretty awesome. I'm really not quite sure what his plan is, but in my head it basically goes "Have Adam hook up with Scorpina. Seduce Adam to dark side. Profit." Of course, the show fails in execution, but it is still so awesome that I don't even care.

The next day, Aisha (in a really adorable little yellow dress. The fashion is so much better this season) shows up at Adam's locker to ask Adam if he's found a date yet. He says no, and he'll probably just stay home and read. (I love that he's a bookworm. Also, so adorable. Also, they were so about to kiss.) Aisha tells him that is not acceptable, and asks if he knows Sarah Diaz. He says yes, she's on the volleyball team, and he is then instructed (Aisha is very good at bossing him around) to go to the park after school, and Sarah will ask him to the dance.

Meanwhile, over at Skull's locker, Bulk is all excited because someone slipped a note in his locker, telling him to meet after school, as the note writer has what he is looking for. Bulk asks Skull (who is inexplicably wearing an eyepatch) if he knows what this means, and Skull rightly says that someone has his locker combination. Bulk instead points out that it means that someone knows the true identities of the Power Rangers!

After school, Adam looks at Sarah from atop a hill, trying to work up the courage to talk to her. He starts listing things about her "pretty, smart, athletic" and he seems calm enough, until he gets to "female" and then he panics. Oh, Adam. We know, you wanted to go with Rocky. Zedd is horrified, because if Adam gets a date, it will ruin everything. So he sends down a giant group of putties, and man, JYB is really good at this. This was an awesome unmorphed fight scene. There should be more of these. By the time Adam is done dusting all the putties, Sarah is gone, and he is sad.

At the school, Bulk and Skull nervously look out the door of detention, only to see the female bullies are standing there. They are both terrified, and they decide that they would rather not know the true identities of the Power Rangers than face the girls. Instead, they go out the window.

Later, Adam is sitting at a table, bitching to Kim and Aisha about his girl problems. I would totally read an entire fic of the three of them gossiping about their boy problems, why doesn't this exist yet? Kim is sympathetic, but then leaves, and there's a minor commotion, because there is a martial artist who is doing something, and you know how Angel Grove feels about martial arts! Adam and Aisha both fail to recognize the girl, and therefore assume that she's new, even though they've only been in Angel Grove for a week or so.

After she's done performing, the girl walks directly to Adam, introduces herself as Sabrina, and then shoves her gym bag in Aisha's face. She says she's new, and then goes on to compliment Adam's martial arts skills, in a blatant attempt to get in his pants. However, she's made one fatal miscalculation, and she's annoyed Aisha. Really, Scorpina should know - if you Adam's lover, you gotta get with his friends. Adam is totally taken in by her. He makes plans to go on a hike with Sabrina, but since Aisha doesn't seem convinced that she's acceptable, Adam invites her to go along.

Look, the thing is, this is a date. Adam is going on a date with Sabrina. And he invites Aisha along. There are only four possibilities here. 1-Adam is unaware this is a date. 2-Adam is too clueless to see that bringing along Aisha on a date is completely unacceptable behavior. Possibly because he's new to the idea of dating girls 3-Adam and Aisha (and Rocky) are in an open relationship that has all sorts of rules, one of them being that Aisha and Rocky have to approve all other potential partners. #4 Adam and Rocky were dating, but are just too nervous to go to a dance together, and that Aisha just wants both of her boys to be happy. (I would totally read fic about ideas #3 and #4)

While this drama is going on, Ernie hands Bulk and Skull a note saying that "We still have what you've been looking for" and that instructs them to wait five minutes. But almost immediately, the female bullies come in, and Bulk and Skull hide behind the counter rather than talk to them. Bulk and Skull completely fail to put two and two together, but we do get to hear the thin female bully refer to Bulk as her "hunka-hunka-Bulky-love" and then I fall over laughing. That was amazing.

On the actual date, Sabrina is all pissy that Adam brought Aisha along, and I honestly can't blame her. But Adam basically tells her that he and Aisha are a package deal and Sabrina sulks. Zedd, however, is completely pleased, because he gets two Rangers for the price of one! So Goldar goes down to attack them, and while I'm discussing fish, why is this episode called Goldar's vice-versa anyway? I mean, seriously.

So Goldar shows up, and Adam tells Sabrina to run, but she refuses, and instead laughs and turns into Scorpina, mocking him. (Have I mentioned that I kinda ship Adam/Scorpina, in a bad and wrong type way? Because I do, in the same way I ship Goldar/Jason. It is entirely possible that I've got a 20,000 word fic in the works. I don't even know.) Adam and Aisha get tied up with the glowing rope of bondagey doom, and they are unable to reach their morphers! Oh noes! So they are both tied to a tree while Goldar and Scorpina stand laughing over them. (I am going to write bad and wrong fic about what happens next. Unless someone else wants to.)

Anyway, at the Youth Center, Kim and Billy are preparing for the dance. Ms. Applebee shsows up, and Kim tells her how excited she is that Adam is going to the dance with the new girl. Why is she talking to the teacher about this anyway? But apparently Ms. Applebee knows everyone in school, even though we've determined that Angel Grove is its own country. Apparently the last new girl in school was Aisha, and Kimberly and Billy are suspicious. A few seconds later, Rocky and Tommy show up, asking if they know where Adam is, since he was supposed to be sparring with them, and he's late. Um. How long have they been gone? How long as Adam expecting the date to be? How has Zordon not noticed? Why are the fish suddenly attacking my amazing episode?

So yeah, they go to the Command Center, and Zordon checks in on them, only to discover that oops, they've been tied to a tree. Zordon FAIL. Rocky doesn't know who Scorpina is, but he is very concerned about his girlfriend and boyfriend. Tommy explains Sscorpina as being "bad news" and just saying that he's glad that they haven't had to encounter her before. The SCT have been Rangers for like a day, when were they supposed to encounter her?

Anyway, there's a big rescue attempt, and Rocky is very concerned for Adam and Aisha. Tommy fights Goldar and Scorpina by himself since he's a glory hog, and Billy uses his mighty lance to cut Adam and Aisha free. Aisha is really pissed at Scorpina, and she gets to say the Morphin call, which pleases me.

Zedd has Goldar and Scorpina grow, and there's a long Zord summoning sequence, and I don't actually care about any of this part. Can we get back to Adam's love life? No? Fine. They summon Tor, and the combination of that Zord makes no sense at all, but I'm just going to ignore it. I mean, I fail to see how standing on top of Tor gives extra power or whatever. But Scorpina and Goldar teleport out, and I'm fairly sure this is the last time we see Scorpina, which is sad. I want so much more fic about her and Adam. Or her and Aisha. I'm just saying, make this happen, internet!

At the dance, Adam is all by himself, as is Aisha. They should be going together. Adam says it's not as bad as he thought, being here alone, and Tommy makes a joke about how he could have been here with Scorpina. Also, Tommy can't dance.

Sarah shows up, and Adam asks where her date is. She says that she doesn't have one, and Aisha pokes at Adam and demands that he ask her to dance, which he does, and he's really dorky and adorable and I kinda love him. (But um, the point of this was for the GIRL to ask the BOY. That is NOT HOW IT WORKS.)

Ernie goes over to Bulk and Skull, and hands them another note, and tells them that he's not their assistant. This time, the note says to turn around, and directly behind them are the female bullies! Bulk and Skull ask them what they could possibly have that they want (and at this point I fall over laughing again) and the girls reply "true love!" and begin to dance with Bulk and Skull.

Somehow while this is going on, Billy and Rocky have ditched their dates so that they could stand by the other Rangers and laugh at Bulk and Skull.

I love this episode SO MUCH.

Fish - 3. A few things made us pause and rant, but overall this was amazing.

Fic people should write us - SO MUCH ADAM/SCORPINA. Also, Adam/Rocky/Aisha discussing this episode. And the Adam/Kim/Aisha gossip hour.

Episode 88- The Power Transfer Part 2

Ah, bondage. My favourite way to start a recap!

This episodes opens where the last one left off. The Stone Canyon Trio is tied to a tree... with chains. Heeee.

Adam immediately comes up with a plan. He tells Rocky to scoot around to the other side of the tree out of view while he attempts to grab a soccer ball with his foot. Rocky manages (and if he could slide around a tree, why couldn't he just slide out under the chains?) and Adam, ball in range, yells for him to run. A putty immediately comes over to investigate since he can't see Rocky. Adam kicks the ball at the z and destroys the putty, who drops the keys to the chain within reach of Adam's very limber and talented foot. They quickly unlock and untangle while all the other putties just kind of dance around and do nothing. They destroy a putty as a threesome (it's SYMBOLISM... or something) and then branch off into their own fights. They win, of course, and then use the soccer ball to kick back and forth before destroying the Disco Ball of Sleepy Doom. They then get very physical congratulating each other with high fives, groping of arms, and a hip bump.

Back on the abandoned planet. In the furthest galaxy. That's a few billion light years away. Ahem. Zedd is still destroying upside down pyramids and death stars while the rangers still try to pull the sword from the stone. Seriously guys, none of you are Arthur! You can't get the sword out! Tommy suggests Billy look at the map before they're all destroyed and Billy discovers there is a ring holding the map closed. He surmises the ring will fit on the statues finger, despite being the size of a small child's bracelet. The sword starts glowing and releases. Zedd destroys the entire planet (despite Goldar's warnings that they didn't have enough power last episode).

Alpha is teleporting them to the Command Center, but he's having a hard time with it. He gets Trini and Zack. Then he gets Kim and Jason. Finally he gets Billy, who immediately removes his helmet and shoves Alpha out of the way to recalibrate stuff and retrieve Tommy (who's missing in the ether of the teleportation device). Too bad he succeeds. Tommy shows up with the sword and Zordon tells them it is time to transfer the powers (despite the protests of a very bad Trini impersonator sandwiched in with dialogue from Thuy Trang's Trini and it was just bad). Billy, who just out-techied A ROBOT, can't for the life of him guess who is going to fill the three vacant spots. Gee. I wonder.

Rocky, Adam, and Aisha step out from the shadows and everybody puts helmets back on. Tommy holds up the sword and suddenly Rocky, Adam, and Aisha are morphed. Meanwhile Jason, Zack, and Trini are STILL morphed. They didn't demorph! They just handed over their powers and they didn't demorph! It's insanely fishy.

So the Unemployed Trio leave, never to be seen or heard from again, and the Stone Canyon Trio immediately have to jump into action when Zedd makes a redneck spikey monster out of sludge. Kim tells them they're on call 24 hours a day and we suddenly very badly want fic about a 3am monster attack the night before finals.

Anyway, Serpenterra is back on Earth now and Zedd makes his redneck monster grow. Rocky takes charge and very forcefully (damn, is it hot in here? No? Just me then.) insists he be the one to take care of it. SO HE DOES. Because he is awesome. Zedd calls them half-baked heroes and we dissolve into fits of giggles. We REALLY want fic about that now. Tommy has to go help Rocky at one point and then they call Tor and things get a little hairy, but they beat the monster in the end. Meanwhile the others just kind of stand around and do... what we aren't sure. My theory is Adam and Aisha are explaining the benefits of being in a polyamorous relationship to Kim and Billy so they can understand it's okay if Billy gets in on the Kim/Tommy action (what with his girlfriend going off to Torchwood Switzerland and all).

And before anybody can deal with Serpenterra, he runs out of power and the fight is over. I like that. More fights should end that way. We theorize that perhaps Billy put the battery in upside down, but we're pretty sure Zedd wouldn't let Billy near his precious Serpenterra, no matter how genius with Zords he is.

Later, in the Command Center, they watch Trini, Jason, and Zack leave via the viewing globe. That's right, they didn't even go to the airport to say goodbye. And this was back in the day when you could go right up to the gate and say goodbye! Some friends they are.

We are amazed they made it through the entire episode without once saying "Once a ranger, always a ranger."

List time:
5 fish. Just... five.

Billy speak: "I need to recalibrate the teleporter."

"Amplifying wavelengths."

Covered in food: nobody!

Fic we really really REALLY want: Half-baked rangers, why the Unemployed Trio didn't demorph in the power transfer, and the Unemployed Trio watching the first few fights as non-rangers from Torchwood base Switzerland.

Episode 87 - The Power Transfer - Part 1

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to say our goodbyes. Oh, Jason/Trini/Zack, we did love you, and we're sorry that the whole contract thing didn't work out, but your leaving us allowed us to know and love the Stone Canyon Trio, so it isn't all bad.

Anyway, in this episode we get proof that Angel Grove is its own country. Which I've been saying for a really long time now! The episode opens with a bunch of reporters from different countries (on payphones, we are so old) making calls to their editors to report a very big and important scoop - they have chosen the teens for the peace conference! Sadly, Clark Kent is not one of the reporters. Seriously, show, we couldn't get a single joke about this? You make me sad. :(

In Angel Grove, everyone (except for Jason/Trini/Zack) is watching tv at the Youth Center to hear about the announcement. Apparently 10,000 people countrywide applied for three spots. There is NO WAY that Angel Grove isn't its own country. Because otherwise they would never choose three teens from the same city. It doesn't work like that. Everyone seems really bored, except for Bulk and Skull who are all excited to be chosen so they can eat a bunch of Swiss chocolate. I don't really blame them, I want some chocolate. Mmmchocolate.

But of course, they aren't the ones chosen. In case you couldn't tell from the incredibly obvious foreshadowing, they call the names Jason Lee (Scott), Zack Taylor, and Trini Kwan. The three of them aren't there to celebrate, and Billy/Kim/Tommy seem really surprised by this. They run off to go see Jason/Trini/Zack in the park, and congratulate them. (This whole scene is in shadow. They weren't even trying.) Jason/Trini/Zack seem very surprised by this.

I'm going to take this opportunity to rant about this whole situation. Look, they keep talking about how maybe Billy will be chosen. Did Billy apply? Did they not know that Zack/Trini/Jason had applied? Why hadn't Zack/Trini/Jason been informed in advance that they had been selected? What if they decided not to go? Did nobody bother to discuss the situation with Zordon about maybe setting up replacements in case they were chosen? Did they have any say in the matter at all? Why does this episode have so many fish?

Anyway, I feel there should be fic about this whole process. Maybe we could sort out some of the fish in the process.

At the Command Center, they reuse old footage so that Zordon can lecture everyone for a while about what an honor this is and how now maybe Jason/Trini/Zack could save the world. Tommy is wearing Green, and it is driving me crazy.

So, they need to select new Rangers. Or rather, Zordon needs to select new Rangers. Nobody else has a say in the matter, and they seem to be all confused as to who the new Rangers will be. Hmm. Three teens, know how to fight, already know identities? Gee, I wonder. (Seriously, I know this is a kids' show, but how stupid do they think we are?!)

Anyway, this version of the Power Transfer is apparently wicked complicated. None of this just giving people the coin nonsense. Instead, they need to go to the Deserted Planet in the Farthest Galaxy and retrieve the Sword of Light. So they teleport out, and we rage in all caps for a while that even if they were traveling at the speed of light, if they were going billions of lightyears away it would take A VERY DAMN LONG TIME to get there. Also, Zordon makes a point of explaining Tor to them, except we met Tor yesterday, so IDEK.

Zedd sees that they are leaving, and announces that they will chase the Rangers with Serpenterra. My reaction was basically "Aww yeah, Serpenterra!" complete with victory arms. But since Zedd needs to distract Zordon while he chases after the Rangers (... um, sure) he sends Squatt and Baboo down to Angel Grove Park with a giant disco ball that squirts perfume that puts people to sleep. I'm not sure why Zedd didn't just, you know, TAKE OVER THE WORLD while the Rangers were away. Fail, Zedd! (At least he has the most awesome Zord ever.)

So, we get to the Deserted City on the Deserted Planet, and it is totally awesome, and I really expect The Doctor to be there, since it would be right up his alley. (Billy would be the best companion ever, y/y?) Anyway, the architecture of this city is awesome, including floating upside-down pyramids and mini death stars. Zordon has given them a map to the statue that holds the Sword of Light (why they couldn't just teleport to the statue, I have no idea) and the map is secretly a fire escape map with a drawing of a statue.

Back on Earth, the Stone Canyon Trio have officially transferred to Angel Grove! And they are wearing matching outfits, because they are all dating each other! And they don't stop touching each other, and I love them all so much, you have no idea.

Bulk is kinda cute, and offers to help Aisha open her locker. Seriously, Aisha, why are you giving him your locker combination? You should know better. (Rocky and Adam have lockers right next to each other, so at least they won't be disturbing others while they make out in front of them. Who wants to write me that fic?) As Bulk tries to get Aisha's locker open, the pink cloud comes in. Aisha's locker is apparently filled with balls and food, so the SCT bends down to pick it up, so the cloud passes right over them. Zordon teleports them out, and explains about the perfume squirting disco ball. He tells them he's sending them to the park, but he'll send them downwind of the gas. He doesn't bother to offer them gas masks or anything. They get down there, and Zedd (from a billion light years away) notices and demands they send down Putties. The SCT gets chained up. With chains. We both start giggling a lot.

Back on the Deserted Planet, Jason summons all the Zords to fight Serepenterra. We're not really sure how, we guess the fish brought them along. Honestly, I still don't know how they even got the Zords there. So many fish. Anyway, then he's getting his ass kicked, so they call Tor, and Tor nearly gets squashed. Why Zedd is attacking the whole Deserted City, I have no idea. Tor nearly gets squashed again, but Zedd stops attacking. I don't even know.

Meanwhile, Tommy finds a statue, and wonders if it is the statue they're looking for. Gee, a statue with a sword? Could it BE? Tommy tries to pull off the sword, but he fails. Because he's not King Arthur. Seriously, show, don't you know this? Jason shows back up, and tells them how he got his ass kicked. They all shoot at the statue, and all together try to pull out the sword. As they try, Zedd decides he will blow up the whole planet. Now we know who actually destroyed Vulcan!

In conclusion, Tommy is impotent and Zedd is menacing. We'll continue this tomorrow!

Fish - FIVE. SO MANY FISH.

Episode 86- Zedd Waves

Oh man I love this episode. The monster, thematically, makes no sense. But he's just so great that I don't care!

So we start off with a LOVELY shot. It's the Stone Canyon Triathlon happening in what looks like Angel Grove Park. So either they share the park on their borders or Stone Canyon doesn't have a park of it's own. Or it's a plot device. I'm leaning towards fishy plot device. Anyway, back to the awesome scene. So it's the Stone Canyon Triathlon. And of course our SCT (Stone Canyon Trio) are taking place in the SCT (Stone Canyon Triathlon). And first up is the swimming portion. So our lovely lads and lady peel off their shirts and we ogle appreciatively.

It took us awhile to notice the storyline here. Ahem. Apparently at some point they talked about the peace conference and how only really smart kids get to go. They think Billy is a shoe in but don't know what they'll do with one ranger down.

So Bulk and Skull are sitting in a boat on the middle of the lake and using some energy reader thing to detect the energy readings of the athletes. Bulk's hypothesis is Power Rangers will emit more energy than regular humans, so his device should pick them up. Not sound logic, there, Bulk, but you're adorably excited about it so I'll let it slide. Skull, meanwhile, is fishing. He's caught something big, he thinks, and Bulk ends up distracted from his energy readings by the potential of a whale. They both fail at bringing in anything and end up in the water. Meanwhile, Zedd steals Bulk's energy reading device and Skull's fishing pole. Upon resurfacing, Bulk comments on the missing pole and notes that Skull's dad is going to kill him... again. Skull apparently would rather drown himself than face his father so he slips below the surface. And now I just want to bring him to my home and give him cookies and take care of him forever. Poor Skull.

So Zedd turns the energy device into a kind of radio mind control monster. It has nothing to do with reading energy waves nor does it use a fishing pole in any way. A radio would have made more sense, but whatever. He's an awesome monster that speaks as if he's a dj at a radio station, so I'm all for him in this (or any) episode.

He mind controls everybody at the park. Zordon calls for Jason, Trini, and Zack who have just come out of the ocean after scuba diving in footage that is clearly old (and from the Billy is afraid of fish episode, I should point out). Meanwhile, the ranger trio are being attacked by some putties. Rocky, Adam, and Aisha see their distress and immediately abandon the Triathlon (they're on the cycling portion at this point) in order to offer assistance. It puts them way behind, but it's worth it. While the Ranger Trio are fighting alongside the Stone Canyon Trio, the Not On The Payroll Anymore Trio fight the Beamcaster. They are quickly put under his spell and Goldar, on the moon, is giddy with delight at the thought of Jason calling him Master.

The Stone Canyon Trio, after the awesomely synchronized putty fight (synched on the part of the putties, that is), rejoin the race. The Ranger Trio head to the Command Center where Zordon fills them in on the already brainwashed Unemployed Rangers Trio. Tommy is all worried about Jason and Zack but Billy jumps in and pretty forcefully yells "TRINI!" And my little heart goes all aflutter at pretty much the last hint at my OTP.

In the park Bulk and Skull come across a large group of mindless people. They are stumbling around chanting "Lord Zedd" but not really being very productive in... anything. Bulk is then turned by the mind control waves, but Skull is unaffected. He takes a second hit and succumbs but he's all failbot at it and chants "Lord Fred" (Kelman? The Gold Ranger? Nah). So our Ranger Trio find some device of Billy's they can use to block the mind control. They morph (out of order, oddly) and then end up surrounded by the citizens. Billy drops his device and people start stepping on it. Instead of pushing them out of the way, because they aren't DOING anything really, he just lets them destroy it. Then Beamcaster turns his waves on THEM. Billy and Kim succumb to the mind control and suddenly we are faced with an entire team of Zombie Rangers. Tommy is the lone holdout.

He fights Beamcaster and the fakest looking apple that turns out to be a bomb, but even he gets brainwashed. And seriously, I would have pegged him as first to go! After all, when voting for Most Likely to Be Placed Under a Spell, Tommy gets my vote hands down. So our Stone Canyon Trio finally come upon this scene and discover the device. Which Rocky picks up. This draws the attention of the citizens who are now intent on... slowly walking towards them with outstretched arms. The Stone Canyon Trio look on in horror and fear. And then they are promptly teleported out in the first real Zordon win of the season.

Aisha say she can fix the device because she worked at a radio station over the summer. She never mentions this again nor does she ever show her techie talent in any other episode. That job eventually falls to Adam. She fixes it and she and Rocky stand in front of the viewing globe and direct a beam of energy at it. It somehow goes through the viewing globe and breaks the mind control of everybody in the park. I don't know how. It really doesn't work like that. Anyway. The Rangers teleport to the Command Center and thank the SCT. Rocky puts on his HILARIOUS Serious Face and hands the device to Billy. I don't know entirely what happened next because I was too busy laughing at the Serious Face.

Anyway, the Rangers pull out random power weapons and beat Beamcaster.

Bulk and Skull are free and adorable and determined to find out who the Power Rangers are.

The Stone Canyon Trio comes in last in the triathlon. The Ranger Trio, sans the Unemployed Trio, apologize for making them lose and Aisha, while groping Rocky's arm, says it's okay... FINISHING is what's important. Heeee. Meanwhile Adam just stands around being adorable.

List time:
3.5 fish, mostly for thematically inappropriate (yet still awesome!) monster.

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: none, but Bulk and Skull fell in the lake

Episode 85- A Monster of Global Proportions

Now, today's episode is off the wall. It's Angel Grove hosting the World Peace Summit! It's blatantly obvious on the lack of Jason, Trini, and Zack, and even more obvious on the clearly older footage for the five seconds they were shown.

So we start out with our Ranger Trio (Billy, Kim, and Tommy) getting ready to start the World Peace Summit. For teenagers. That is being held in Angel Grove. That place that is plagued by violence and monster attacks. Yeah. GREAT place to hold a PEACE summit.

Our Trio is joined by our New Trio. Rocky and Adam apologize for the workout that went a little longer than planned and Aisha just looks cute and claps for Billy up on stage. Billy first makes mention of the sculpture created by the art students at Angel Grove High and then introduces the teens from the summit. I cringed through the whole thing. They couldn't have gotten more stereotypical if they'd TRIED. First we have Themba (Tamba) from South Africa. Followed by Charlie from Australia (and I could have wept for the wrongness of it all... he was wearing a leather vest and a cowboy hat! I'm so sorry Australia). Pablo from Mexico (and I'd like to apologize to you, as well, Mexico). Boris from Russia (at least he wasn't blond? But that's not saying much...) Chun Mei from China (sigh, I give up, show). And the chairperson. Blonde haired fair skinned Tamara from Israel (and yes, I know Israel is very diverse, but they went all uber-stereotype with everybody else and they give us a blonde fair middle eastern female with a Russian name? Tamar I would believe. Noa would have been even more stereotypical).

Chairperson Tamara says she looks forward to spending time in their fine country and we both choose to view this as her confirming TSB's theory that Angel Grove is, in fact, it's own country.

Bulk decides the six teens from Other Places must surely be the Power Rangers. Despite the fact that they've just arrived in Angel Grove and the Power Rangers have been around for a year now. Logic clearly has no place in this how.

Meanwhile, Zedd is stalking Tommy and decides he wants super SMART evil rangers, so he's going to kidnap the six foreign teens from the World Peace Summit. Good plan, Zedd!

Later, in the park, Tommy, Rocky, and Adam are showing the Torchwood recruits World Peace Summit teens some martial arts. Billy is off to the side with Chairperson Tamara having a picnic. He's super smooth and asks if all the girls in Israel are so pretty. She flirts back and randomly looses her accent.

Then they're all attacked by putties! Billy sends Tamara off to the Youth Center while he goes to fight off the putties with the Tommy, Kim, and the Stone Canyon Trio. They send the WPS kids running for safety. Clearly these kids need to read the Torchwood training manual a newspaper, because they have no idea what putties are. As they flee to safety, Goldar snatches them.

Our Ranger Trio must go to the Command Center, so the SCT are sent to look after the WPS teens. Lord Zedd has them, however, and demands the power coins. They contact Jason, Trini, and Zack (in the five seconds of old footage with Zack's season 1 hair) and everybody morphs. Goldar is waiting for them and they hand over a box of power coins. Goldar is apparently too stupid to realize that they can't be real coins because the rangers are STILL MORPHED. Apparently he didn't learn from the last time they handed over their coins. They demand he release the teens and he, of course, says no. JUST LIKE LAST TIME. Seriously.

Anyway, Billy laughs maniacally because of course they didn't hand over the real power coins. Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull end up walking along a cliff above this little confrontation, and we both cackle for reasons that cannot be stated at this point in time. Goldar eventually teleports away and the teens are rescued. They all know the Power Rangers of course and are delighted to have been saved by them. *eyeroll*

Bulk and Skull then fall off the cliff and pick up the discarded box of coins. Bulk is sure they know who the rangers are now and hands the box to Skull, who promptly begins to eat one of the coins. Because it's gelt. And gelt is tasty (and now I wish we hadn't eaten all the Chanukah chocolate).

There is a VERY RANDOM fight scene where Zedd makes a monster out of the sculpture from the beginning and they all have to get their zords and fight. It's incredibly out of place and I'd hate it except that we get introduced to Tor! I love Tor. He's awesome in his own right and shouldn't be carrying around the other Zords... he can beat monsters all on his own! Hell, to beat this monster, he SQUISHES IT. Seriously he lands on top of it and squishes it flat. Awesome, Tor!

Back at the Youth Center, we're at the end of the World Peace Summit. Damn but that was short. There wasn't time to learn anything! Though Chairperson Tamara would have us believe otherwise apparently. Anyway, the SCT talk about the Ranger Trio being, y'know, POWER RANGERS in the middle of the audience. I'm not sure they fully understood the meaning of secret in that secret identity promise. Billy totally macks on Tamara one last time and then wishes the world could live in peace.

List time!
4.5 fish. It would have made more sense if they'd said it was Torchwood recruiting, even before RTD had created Torchwood.

Billy speak: none, but hot damn did he look really good AND smooth talk the ladies. I miss my awkward geek. :(

Covered in food: nobody, but there was some tasty gelt!

Episode 84 - The Ninja Encounter Part 3

Previously, on Power Rangers - absolutely nothing happened. Really, I've seen these episodes a dozen times (this is what happened when I decide to write 10,000 words of fic about them) so I've looked for something that happens in them. It's like they used up all the actual plot and dialogue for the first part, and then they realized that this was supposed to be a three parter, and put something together at the last second.

Adam/Rocky/Aisha are still in the cave. And you know, I love them all so much, but man, the acting in this is so bad. And we get some more ridiculous dialogue "I never imagined I'd use my abilities for evil." Really, Rocky? That's even more cheesy than Adam's earlier line. I choose to believe that Rocky is making fun of Adam.

Meanwhile, Bulk is playing with baby Jacob in the park, making silly faces at him and asking him "who's a punky monkey?" Skull arrives with like 10 boxes of diapers, and was going to explain the advantages of cloth diapers or whatever, but I will spare you the lecture. :P We get a really long sequence of Bulk ripping the diapers as he tries to change Jacob, and they eventually uses Skull's bandanna. Oh, and Bulk gets squirted in the face. With water from Jacob's bottle. ;)

Back at the Command Center, Billy manages to unfreeze everyone, so they go fight the monster and summon the zords again. But now they're nearly too late, as the snake is about to infuse Aisha with the venom of evil, so Zordon decides that it is finally more important to rescue the three teens and their teacher, so he pulls everyone but Jason and Zack away from the fight. So, they can operate the Zord with two people? And why didn't they just take the thirty seconds earlier? Why are there so many fish in this episode? Why isn't Rocky shirtless? These are the important questions we need to ponder right now!

Kim and Tommy go fight the putties while Trini and Billy go rescue my OT3. Aisha, despite having been told not to make any sudden movements, whirls around to yell that the Power Rangers are there, but the snake doesn't bite her. It's a failbot, that snake. Billy pulls the snake off of them, and wrestles around with it on the ground. Trini shoots the chains that are tying them up, and then teleports out Mr. Anderson, while Rocky/Adam/Aisha go join the fight with the putties. (Why she doesn't teleport the three of them as well? We guess the fish told her not to.)

Kim tells them to aim for the Z, and then the three of them immediately begin to beat up the putties, because they are awesome. And I would seriously just watch more of them fighting. I love how Aisha is told to aim for the Z and carefully aims her fist at a putty that is jumping at her so he destroys himself. I love how awesome Adam is at fighting. I love that Rocky isn't wearing a shirt under his vest. So, all the Putties are destroyed, and they realized Billy still hasn't emerged from the cave. Because he is rolling around on the ground with the snake, talking about how it can't bite him.

Kimberly shouts Billy's name, and she and Tommy run over to him. Kimberly shoots the snake, and it vanishes, and for some reason Billy can't breathe, so they take off his helmet. We don't know why. But we do know that Billy seems remarkably better after his face ends up in her lap.

But oh no! The Stone Canyon Trio has seen Billy's face (and you know, heard Kim call his name.) The other two take off their helmets, and everyone is shocked! SHOCKED! (On a related note, I love how you could clearly see that Tommy's hair was not tucked into the helmet. Fail!

Meanwhile, Zack and Jason destroy the monster. And Trini leaves Mr. Anderson at the bottom of a hill, telling him that baby!Jacob is up at the top.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells the Trio that he has investigated their backgrounds, and he trusts them as they are all wholesome and good, and are clearly used to keeping secrets since they're all dating each other. They swear upon the forces of goodness not to reveal the Rangers' identities.

Back at the Park, Bulk and Skull are telling Mr Anderson about how the Rangers once saved them. Aisha winks at Kim and says the Power Rangers saved them too. Subtle, Aisha. Real subtle. Bulk and Skull want to interview everyone, but then they run away after Mr. Anderson asks them to babysit.

Fish: 4. Not quite as ridiculous as part 2, but still pretty bad. Seriously, if it only lived up to the awesomeness that was part 1...

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water. At least they didn't go for the obvious joke.

Billy speak: "I've boosted the stimulator to maximum capacity, but it's not working."

Episode 83 - The Ninja Encounter Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Bulk and Skull take care of a tiny child, and I have an OT3. Luckily for all of you, I am recapping the middle part in which absolutely nothing happens, and that means that I will not be allcapsing at you about my love of Adam nearly as much as I would if I'd had the first part. But seriously, we could skip this episode, because absolutely nothing happens in it. It is boring and stupid and filled with fish, and also Adam is only in it for like 30 seconds.

So, the Stone Canyon Trio are being held in the cave. Zedd sends down a monster, and the footage of him summoning it looks remarkably like the Spit Flower. So Jason/Zack/Trini go use some new form of teleportation called Jetting (which is just flying, whatever) to go fight the Terror Blossom, while Kim/Tommy/Billy go rescue the Stone Canyon Trio. It is very important that the trio is rescued, because Zordon points out that they are very talented. I am sure they are. (I love them so much, have you noticed?)

Speaking of the Stone Canyon Trio, Aisha apparently sucks at picking locks, because she's still working on it. (Her ability to pick locks in this episode is totally why I put her on the criminal career track in the Sims. She lives in a house with Rocky and Adam, and all three of them are in love with each other, which is a problem because the Sims 2 doesn't let you have poly!relationships, so every now and then one of them will catch the other two making out and then they'll slap each other and I have to make them all be in love again. Anyway.) But Mr Anderson tells them not to do anything, because they'll just antagonize the monsters. So instead of being proactive and trying to escape, they should just wait around to be turned evil. Great advice, teacher man!

Anyway, it is very clear that Jason/Trini/Zack are gone, because they get their asses kicked really quickly, as the Terror Blossom summons the hatchosaurus. So just as Kim/Billy/Tommy arrive at the Cave of Captivity/Despair/whatever they're calling it this week, they have to all three leave Adam/Rocky/Aisha behind to go help the other Rangers, even though one of them could clearly have stayed behind to rescue the Stone Canyon Trio. But no.

There is a ridiculously long Zord sequence, and this entire episode is so unnecessary, I can't even deal. They fight and blow up the Hatchosaurus, but wait! It still has the cardiotron thing, just like last time, so it reforms! I am so shocked that they remember that this monster existed. But why is this even happening? It is entirely unnecessary. And why does Zedd keep recreating Rita's monsters, anyway? Weren't they inferior to his?

Back at the cave, Aisha finally finishes picking the lock, and the Trio attacks the putties. They are so awesome, I can't even tell you. But then Goldar teleports back in and ties them back up with the golden glowy rope of bondage doom, and he makes a note to tie them tightly and then he leaves behind a wooden serpent that is going to fill them with the venom of darkness, and I am just saying - there should totally be more porn in this fandom. (I am refraining from copying my all caps insanity, you can thank me later.) Oh, and Rocky hates snakes.

So, the Rangers destroy the Cardiotron, and it is way easier than last time. A fish must have helped them out or something. They head back to the Command Center instead of immediately going to rescue the Stone Canyon Trio. And oh look, Zedd has sent down another monster, so everyone splits up again. And right before Billy/Kim/Tommy are about to go into the cave to rescue Adam/Rocky/Aisha, Trini/Jason/Zack are frozen by the Terror Blossom, so they need to go off and save them first. This ENTIRE EPISODE is unnecessary. They quickly teleport the frozen Rangers back to the Command Center, and then Kim and Tommy just stand around while Billy tries to figure out the science stuff.

Back at the cave, the wooden serpent is come to life and is coiled around Aisha, who is freaking out. They are running out of time, but at least the episode ends on a look of concern on Adam's face. He is so pretty.

I would just like to point out that I kept my flailing down to a minimum for this. HA.

Fish - FIVE. SO MANY FISH. WHY DOES THIS EPISODE EXIST AT ALL?

Episode 82- The Ninja Encounter Part 1

OMG IT'S STONE CANYON TRIO TIME! I am very much going to miss Jason, Zack, and Trini, of course. But I adore Rocky, Adam, and Aisha too much to not love these episodes. And I think we all know 's feelings on the subject.

So we open on Angel Grove Park with our group of six rangers. They're hanging out and jamming to some music on a huge radio. I feel old. Even more telling, Tommy is wearing green. How very random and not at all a cover for using old footage due to no longer having Thuy Trang, Walter Jones, and Austin St. John on the payroll. *cough* Ahem.

Anyway, so then we see some wholesome looking teenagers rollerblading down the sidewalk. They stop and say hello to Mr. Anderson. No, not THAT Mr. Anderson, but rather a middle aged teacher from Stone Canyon High. Mr. Anderson is pushing his son in a stroller and discuses the upcoming ninja tournament. Later, on a park bench, Mr. Anderson is sitting with Jacob, his son. His toddler son. His roughly 18 months to 2 years old son. And he's just... sitting. On the bench. Quietly. Who is this toddler and what drugs did they give him to sit still for that long? Drama Queen and Emo Kid both could never sit still for that long at that age... heck, at 8 and 4 they still can't. So Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler Jacob pushes his stroller and it runs into some motorcycles. The trio of Bad Teens confront Mr. Anderson (and dear lord, I will never hear that name without hearing it in Hugo Weaving's voice), who then puts Jacob in the stroller and apologizes for what happened, despite the fact that flimsy plastic stroller rolling at about 2 miles an hour down a hill does NO DAMAGE to a freakin motorcycle.

And I think we all know what happens next. The stroller, with Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler gets bumped and takes off rolling down the sidewalk! Unattended! Oh noes! Whoever will save the freakishly quiet toddler?!?! Who will stop him as he careens down... grassy hills? Seriously? Has anybody on set ever bothered to push a stroller, particularly over grass? They don't move well, quickly, or easily. It takes a lot of effort. But despite, the stroller runs away and we are wondering who will ever save this poor not-of-this-world baby? Why, Rocky, Adam, and Aisha will give it a go! They hear Mr. Anderson scream for Jacob and take off blading towards the runaway stroller. Luckily, Kim, Billy, and Tommy also hear the screams for help and they take off running too. As the stroller goes shooting past Bulk and Skull, with the Stone Canyon Trio knocking into Skull who hits a hot dog vendor who squirts something all over Bulk, Bulk and Skull realize a baby is in distress and THEY join the chase as well. There is lots of physically impossible stunts from both the actors and the stroller (seriously, they don't come with a steering wheel... they can't just veer around trees like that). Aisha and Kim both get launched into the air and grab hold of the stroller just as it gets ready to careen off a cliff. They pick up Jacob and hand him over to Mr. Anderson, who has finally caught up. Bulk and Skull, satisfied the child is safe, collapse onto a picnic table, out of breath from the chase.

Mr. Anderson takes Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler away and our Ranger Trio get to know the Stone Canyon Trio. Adam and Aisha alternately hold hands, when Adam isn't staring at Kim's breasts. But frankly, we can't blame him. Who wouldn't want to stare at her breasts? The Ranger Trio ask if the Stone Canyon Trio are there to watch the Ninja Competition and they are not even remotely subtle when they answer "Something like that". They then make fun of Bulk and Skull some and that makes me sad because y'know, they were just trying to help and did literally nothing to provoke it. It's not nice to make fun of people who are genuinely trying to HELP.

We jump ahead to the actual ninja competition and we see the back of people who are obviously not Thuy Trang, Walter Jones, and Austin St. John. It's like they didn't even TRY. The ninja competition is more a case of martial arts in a ninja suit than ninja-like. I would have expected a test on stealth or ability to silently scale walls or something, but instead it's just a lot of jumping around and kicking with their faces covered. The team in black plays really dirty and the team in white is wholesome and rule abiding and they win. Of course, our wholesome ninjas just happen to be our wholesome rollerblading Stone Canyon Trio! Mr. Anderson stands up and hands Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler over to Bulk so he can cheer for his students. Mind, why he can't cheer while holding his kid I don't know, but whatever. The Stone Canyon Trio are very excited and hold their trophy high while Rocky gropes Adam in the middle of the ring. He's totally thinking "I'm going to pounce on you in the locker room." and Adam seems quite pleased with this plan.

Outside, our Ranger Trio are congratulating the Stone Canyon Trio and they all agree to hang out together sometime VERY VERY SOON. The Ranger Trio heads out while Mr. Anderson puts Jacob in the car and the Stone Canyon Trio get ready to leave with him. But wait! Zedd wants to capture these awesome ninja teens and use them for his own nefarious purposes, so he sends down Goldar to wrap them all up in the Glowing Rope of Doom (and bondage)! The Ranger Trio turns to help but then get attacked by a pyramid of putties. So they fight the putties while Goldar grabs Mr. Anderson and then disappears. Bulk and Skull, having seen this, immediately go to make sure "the baby" is okay. He is fine, but sitting in the most atrocious carseat ever. I know 90's safety was lax compared to what we have today, but Holy Internal Decapitation Risk Batman! Jacob is sitting in a shield booster, which is deadly, and no harness. For a kid who is supposed to be under 2, that's... frightening. Emo Kid was 4 before he turned forward facing and he's still in a harness. Drama Queen was over 6 before getting out of a harness and into a booster, and she's still in a high back booster at nearly 9. And in the early 90's, it was appropriate to put toddlers in what amounts to a death trap (though for the record, I was in a harness until I was 4... in the very early 1980's... so it's not like the safe seats weren't available, it's just that most people didn't know better). I feel really really old now.

Uh, anyway, my rant aside, we move on to Bulk and Skull walking off with Jacob to keep him safe. It's freaking ADORABLE. The Ranger Trio see that everybody has been taken and immediately contact Zordon. They appear in a very bad combination of new footage where they look off screen at the non-existent Jason, Zack, and Trini and old footage where everybody is on screen. Except there is a huge discrepancy in quality between the old footage and the new footage so... yeah. Anyway. The Stone Canyon Trio and Mr. Anderson are all chained up in a cave. Rocky doesn't know who Lord Zedd is and Adam says they'll (atrocious dialogue alert!) never use their powers for evil. Rocky is wearing a vest with no shirt underneath. I feel his removing this vest would vastly help the escape plan they are formulating. Not that I'm biased or anything...

In the park, Bulk and Skull are trying to entertain Unnaturally Calm and Quiet Toddler. He is... unnaturally calm. And quiet. Skull tells him to go fetch a squishy cube, but he is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Bulk pulls out a grocers worth of food from a bag, but he is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Skull pulls out a bottle and squirts milk all over Bulk on accident and Jacob is... unnaturally calm and quiet. Bulk and Skull sing I'm a little teapot and it's ADORABLE! But Jacob is still unnaturally calm and quiet. Seriously, this little kid is freaking me out. It's just... toddlers don't sit still! Toddlers don't have a volume control! This kid is FREAKY.

Back in the cave, the Stone Canyon Trio have come up with a plan. Before they can do anything, Aisha must pull a Very Convenient bobby pin from her hair and pick the lock. She PICKS THE LOCK people. Because she is AWESOME. And somehow knows how. And as she's doing so, we get a big To Be Continued...

List time!

Good lord that was a lot of "plot" for one episode.
2 fish. It was consistent! It had plot! It was Very Very Pretty!

Billy speak: none

Covered in food: Bulk in something from a hot dog stand and milk

Episode 81 - Zedd's Monster Mash

Do you know what Saturday is? Saturday is going to be Stone Canyon Trio day! That's right, we have officially reached the point where Zack/Trini/Jason are gone, and we're going to meet their replacements, including my favorite. (Okay, so I momentarily debated asking if we could skip this episode, just so we could get to Stone Canyon earlier. I have a favorite, okay?) If Saturday's posts are filled with all caps flailing.... well, you've been warned in advanced. (Luckily for everyone, will be writing two of them.)

Anyway, it's a good thing we didn't skip this episode, because it was actually really awesome. It's Halloween again. Okay, so this is the first one that officially references Halloween, but costume parties and pumpkin themed tv shows totally scream Halloween to me. But the important thing is to talk about the costumes - Kim is a jester (so glad she's not a princess. SO GLAD), Billy is a mad scientist, and Tommy is a pirate. Ernie is a crazy 20s gangster, and Bulk and Skull are soldiers of some sort. And there are a bunch of tiny children dressed as Power Rangers. I mean, if you lived in Angel Grove, wouldn't you go as Power Rangers? (I would totally go as a Power Ranger now, so I may not be the most biased person in the universe. In fact, I am totally going to be the Pink Ranger this year, and nothing will stop me.)

In important things that are setting up for the Stone Canyon Trio, Billy and Kim have a discussion about the Torchwood World Peace Conference. They are both excited for it, except they worry what would happen if one of them gets selected for it. Aww, foreshadowing, so cute.

An amazing event occurs! We see the actual parent of a tiny child, who talks about how exciting it is that the teens are going to chaperone their kids on Halloween. I'm just amazed that the show is remembering that parents exist.

Up on the moon, Zedd is all excited about the holiday! It is right up his alley, except something is missing. He needs Tommy. Zedd is totally trying to beat out Goldar for the creepy obsession with the Ranger thing. Except while Goldar drove Jason off to join Torchwood, we're stuck with Tommy a while longer. So Zedd decides to throw his own Halloween party (and Baboo wants to be Little Bo Peep, which is so amazing I don't even have words for it) and invite Tommy.

Bulk and Skull show up, and for a minute we're afraid that they're going to be chaperones, but instead Bulk is going to eat some really hot candy, and then bob for apples. He then gets an apple stuck in his mouth, and we get a pig comparison, complete with sound effects, and I guess it's been a while since we've used the fatphobia tag. Thanks, show!

Zedd's plan is to have a bunch of putties turn into children and then separate Tommy from everyone else. The Putties turn into BABY RANGERS and I am overcome by the SHEER CUTE. Tommy takes them out (although I have some nitpicks about the plan. How did they know that Tommy would be the one to be assigned them? Didn't they make a point of saying that the parents had to sign the kids in and out?) but considering some of the fish that the show gives us, I really shouldn't be nitpicking.

Bulk and Skull see the tiny Rangers, and wonder if maybe the Rangers can shrink. This is so stupid I don't want to acknowledge it. However, they go around pulling off the helmets of the kids, and we see that there's a female red, and I start all capsing out of the sheer awesome. And then Bulk and Skull get covered in silly string, and honestly, they totally deserved that one.

Goldar shows up, and the putty!children turn into regular putties, and there's a fight scene. After Tommy beats them all, Goldar just teleports him to the Dark Dimension. I have no idea why they bothered with the plan and the fake children at all if Goldar could just do that. But Tommy ends up in a graveyard, and there's a really stupid new monster, and then Zedd decides to finally take our advice and just have a whole bunch of monsters. First we get the Pumpkin Rapper which means that we are totally going to subject you to this monster's horrible rhymes. Oh, and he steals Tommy's morpher.

Meanwhile, Kim and Billy have noticed that Tommy is missing, and that these children don't actually exist. Zordon hasn't bothered to call them, so they go to the Command Center and realize that yeah, he's actually been kidnapped. Again. Oh, Tommy. They manage to locate him on the viewing globe, and Billy wonders why Tommy isn't morphed. Kim immediately says it's because he's lost his Power Coin. I love that this happens often enough that Kim doesn't need to think about it. Some leader you are, Tommy!

The Pumpkin Rapper gets some allies in The Snizard (who also showed up in Island of Illusion), the Primator, the Robogoatthe Invenusable Fly Trap and the Rhinoblaster. With all these monsters, the Rangers should be doomed!

But no, because Kim and Billy show up, and they help Tommy get his morpher. Still, they're pretty outnumbered, so Alpha says that he will go and watch the children that Trini/Jason/Zack are supposedly escorting, reusing his costume excuse. So we get the shortest Zord summoning sequence in a while, yet only the Pumpkin Rapper bothers to grow. I mean, what was the point of summoning all those monsters? Oh, Zedd. You should hire us to explain the evil overlord rules to you. The Pumpkin Rapper is easily defeated, again.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull ate too much candy and everyone laughs at them.


Fish: 2.5 Mostly nitpicks. They just all added up!

Covered in: Bulk gets covered in water and Bulk and Skull both get covered in silly string.

Pumpkin Rapper Speak: "maybe you did, but it's time to get sad. Because of Lord Zedd's power we're back and we're bad!"
"Hey don't play, he's getting away"
"You better just quit or you'll get hit"
"rangers this aint no play, 'cause you're going down today"
"It's so cool that is hot, rangers in a real spot?"
"I can't believe you dare to try and make this fair"
"I get bored with tinhead zords"
"that was uncool, so take this fool"
"we're going to fight to say goodnight"
"On the ground, clown."
"You brats! What's with that?"

Episode 80- Opposites Attract

So this is not the most memorable episode. It's already fading from my memory and we JUST watched it.

We start off with Billy speak. He's sitting at a table in the Juice Bar with Trini discussing his latest invention. He created some kind of polarity something to observe a storm they're supposed to have later that day. Kim interrupts with a single serving friend of hers named Laura. They are going to take a group of Angelettes out to the park/woods/whatever for a badge. Billy is completely smitten with Single Serving Friend. She is just as smitten with him and Trini comments on it after they leave, but Billy won't even attempt anything. He's sure they'd have nothing to talk about, what with her being the outdoorsy type and Billy being into science magazines. I kind of want to shake him a little here. Trini reads science magazines! Trini never needs a translation of his normal speech! Trini is taken with his big beautiful blue eyes and she never cared about him wearing overalls! You have the perfect girl right in front of you, Billy! Alas, she runs off in a few episodes to go to Torchwood a peace conference.

Without parental supervision, a gaggle of Tiny Female Children come into the Youth Center and help Kim and Single Serving Friend carry boxes of food stuffs outside. They are both adorable AND polite. I approve of these Tiny Children. Ernie has supplied their outdoor hiking/exploring trip at apparently no cost. Billy warns them of the impending storm. We then get a very random shot of Tommy, Jason, and Zack lifting weights. It makes no sense in context of the show, but it shows Austin St. John AND Walter Jones flexing their deliciously rippling muscles so I, being the shallow person that I am, can't really complain about the scene.

In the woods/park/wherever they happen to have gone, Kim and Single Serving Friend are explaining the goal of the trip to the girls. They are to stick with the buddy system and go exploring, but not too far, and if they get lost or in trouble they are to sit down and scream for help. Kim is actually really cute when she's explaining it, especially since she's barely taller than the kids themselves (and I can say this without it being mean because I am shorter than Amy Jo Johnson).

Meanwhile, in other parts of the park, Bulk and Skull have set up some kind of system to contact the power rangers. It looks like Christmas tree decorations. Also in other other parts of the park, Billy has moved half his lab outside. For some reason. He's fiddling with his device when Goldar and a bunch of putties show up. He shows off his awesome gymnastics abilities and beats the crud out of some putties. It lured him away from his device however, which was the main goal, and Goldar grabs it. He vanishes and leaves a very surprised putty looking around astonished until Billy vaults himself over there and destroys it.

Goldar goes back to the moon and Zedd turns Billy's device into a magnet monster. There is some confusing discussion of reversing the planet's polarity and it really doesn't make sense because, well, once again, science doesn't work like that. So this monster does his thing and all of a sudden the Earth starts shaking and people start flipping out and there is some weird little points of light in all the shots that nobody else notices. It makes no sense. Zack, Jason, and Tommy cling tenaciously to each other as they try to get far enough out of the Youth Center to contact Zordon without anybody overhearing. Bulk and Skull rejoice thinking they've contacted the rangers until they see a man in a bear suit bear, and then they run in terror. Kim has the Tiny Children stay with Single Serving Friend while she goes to "contact the park ranger". But really she just wanders a few feet away and uses her communicator to contact Zordon.

At the Command Center, they all discover the monster. They also find Goldar and some putties near the Angelettes. Billy wants to take care of Goldar on his own, to protect the girls, but Zordon won't let him. Tommy gets to do that while the others go after the monster.

All the girls swoon over Tommy while he fights some putties. He beats a few and chases Goldar away. The other rangers, downtown, confront the magnet monster thing. He does his reverse polarity trick again and knocks them all over. Polarity... he keeps using that word. I do not think it means what he thinks it means. Anyway, they don't even TRY with the voice actors and it's horrible, so I'm not terribly upset when they call the power weapons, nearly beat the guy, summon the zords, and immediately pull the thunder sword on him. I swear that fight lasted all of about thirty seconds.

Zedd, in the best line in the whole episode, laments that science and monsters don't mix.

Back at the Youth Center, the Tiny Children are still swooning over the white ranger after Kim and Laura give them bravery badges. Bulk and Skull come in muttering about a bear following them and, in a surprising amount of empathy for this show, the Tiny Children rush to comfort them. Billy then walks in with his device and Laura asks if she can see more of his inventions. We get more Billy speak than we've gotten in every episode this season combined, and then Billy gets the girl.

List time:
3 fish. Science really really doesn't work that way.

Billy speak (hold onto your butts): "It's a polarizing gauge. Scientists have predicted a rare solar storm for today."

"That would be an accurate evaluation, Trini."

"I'm collecting data on the geo-magnetic field."

"An electromagnetic phenomenon has been predicted. It could have unexpected results on the atmosphere."

"Zedd's turned my polarizer into a monster with colossal repercussions!"

"I'd be honoured. If you'd like I can start with my latest. It's a unique method of observing protons and ionized oxygen atoms."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 79 - Two For One

Hey, there's a thread on to celebrate the awesome women of Power Rangers, and you should all go and post on it.

You know, I was checking earlier, and Tommy has had more episodes about him than any other Ranger. Sadly, we are continuing that trend today, although Kimberly also takes top billing.

We open at the Juice Bar, where Kim is prancing about in an absolutely ridiculous dress. She asks Trini what she thinks, and Trini tells her that it's adorable, and asks if it's for her date with Tommy. First of all, Trini, don't lie to her. That dress is awful. Second, don't encourage her. Before Trini can continue to lie to her, Richie brings over their (diet) soda, and we both sulk about that for a minute, and then Richie is ridiculously adorable and asks Trini to go study with him later. Study. Sure. Is that what they were calling it?

Anyway, Kim tells us a little bit more about her purse. Apparently it's the purse her mom took on her first date with her dad. There is so much wrong here I don't know where to start. 1-It isn't Kimberly's first date with Tommy. 2-Kimberly's parents are divorced, so this isn't a good sign for her continued relationship with Tommy. 3-That purse is FUGLY.

Bulk and Skull walk in, with a Power Rangers detector that was created by Bulk's cousin Waldo who goes to Angel Grove Tech. I'm going to refrain from a Where's Waldo joke, or trying to figure out where Angel Grove Tech is. And it is seriously the best detector ever - it has two settings "Power Rangers" and "Not Power Rangers". And it has smiley faces! Amazing!

So, Tommy shows up, all sweaty because he's been sparring with Jason. Kim asks if he's ready, and he tells her that it's only three, so he's got time. Of course, it's after four by this point, but whatever. Kim borrows Trini's lipstick, and waits for Tommy to finish showering.

Zedd and Goldar decide to ruin their date, and they'll turn Kim's purse and the stuff in it into two monsters, because Goldar wants one of his own. Now, I know we've been saying that they should have multiple monsters attack, but um, this was ridiculous. So they send putties down to attack Kim and Tommy, and Tommy is actually really adorable and romantic, asking Kim "May I have this dance?" and spinning her around before they go beat up some putties. They beat them, and then the purse gets turned into a monster. They morph, and the purse monster freezes them.

Zordon was apparently paying attention, because he calls the others. Jason and Zack were having a slap fight. It was pretty adorable. They actually spend most of the episode looking like they're about to make out, which pleases me greatly. Zordon explains that there are two monsters, and Trini and Billy are told to stay behind and figure out what piece of equipment will be able to unfreeze them. Jason asks Zack to go rescue Tommy and Kim, and they gaze soulfully into each others' eyes. Jason, meanwhile, will fight the lipstick monster with the giant phallic symbols by himself.

Zack immediately also gets frozen, and Jason calls his zord and starts to get his ass kicked. Billy and Trini eventually figure out how to free everyone, and they defreeze everyone else. While this is going on, Bulk and Skull follow their Ranger detector into the lake. After they get unfrozen, Tommy fights the purse monster by himself, while everyone else runs off to help Jason. He promptly gets tied up, so Saba saves the day and somehow the monster is destroyed. IDEK.

Meanwhile, the other Rangers all summon their zords, and it turns out that their zords have wacky powers! The unicorn zord can move boulders, the griffon shoots fire, and the firebird creates whirlwinds. (It's possible that the lion does something also, but we were too busy trying to figure out why Billy's zord was telekinetic.) Anyway, instead of forming the megazord, it turns out that Jason's zord just needed a ride? It jumps off of the others and hits the lipstick monster with its staff.

Kim gets her purse back, but there's no sign of the lipstsick. And Bulk and Skull find a bunch of kids. Pretty weak ending.

Fish: 4.5 Everything about this episode was ridiculous.

Billy speak: "The multiple arsenal must come from the paraphernalia from the receptical from which it was created."
"If only I could get the right coordinates on the refractor shield"

Covered in: Bulk and Skull fall in the lake