So happy 3 year anniversary of Ranger Recaps, guys! It's been a heck of a ride so far. I'm looking forward to the next five or so years! In celebration of making it three years on this blog, we're doing something a little different. For this recap, we watched the first episode of Saban's VR Troopers.
I haven't watched this show since it aired. And now I remember why. Technology really doesn't work that way. It doesn't now, it didn't then, and I don't think it ever will or could. That pretty much sums up the episode. It's Tron meets Power Rangers, minus the coolness of Power Rangers and the super awesome subtle messages of Tron (for the record, I LOVE Tron, one of my favourite movies... did the technology storyline WAY better). It even has the Daddy-Stuck-In-The-Computer Angsty-Son thing, only done very very poorly. Oh, and JB is really super hot. That's about all I got out of this show.
In keeping with the chatlog theme, here's what we talked about during this episode.
TSB: This themesong is SUCH an earworm
QR: oh the theme song
TSB: also, Ryan Steele? STILL HOT
QR: really?
Oh look! We start off with Daddy Angst!
TSB: HE HAS SO MUCH
QR: He does.
He... is not really my type, actually. I don't find him exceptionally attractive.
Although, DOG! IN A DOJO!
TSB: I just approve of all the sparring
I am glad that this didn't end up a JDF vehicle, though!
QR: this is something all Saban's shows should have more of
there. HE is so my type
TSB: JB IS ALSO HOT
QR: THIS WHOLE CAST IS PRETTY
oh the fashion!!!!
TSB: YESSSSSSSSSSS
AHAHA WOODY
One day
I will convince someone to write me the fic where Kaitlyn hangs out with Lois Lane
and reporter!Kimberly
QR: she should!
that fic needs to exist
How old are these guys supposed to be?
TSB: college, I think
QR: nice bikes for college kids
TSB: it's never really explained
QR: piddly little protesters
I actually kind of like that skirt...
ARMS
Why is JB not showing his arms?
TSB: That... is not how demolition works, really
hi Ryan's arms
QR: poor iguana
they don't like being held like that
TSB: I love Zitkor and his ridiculous iguana
Speaking of things that don't work that way, VIRTUAL REALITY
QR: that... is not how virtual reality works
hah
OMG LOOK AT THE COMPUTER
TSB: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY? COMPUTERS
QR: shhhhhh
OH THE DRAMA
NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS OMG
TSB: NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENES
SENSE EVEN
Although I love Grimlord's design
QR: yes!
This is like Tron, only without the super clever subtle messages
it's like they tried to make Tron into Power Rangers, and it really failed horribly
TSB: I've never figured out how the monsters cross back and forth
like, I thought they were confined to virtual reality, mostly?
is virtual reality supposed to be an alternate dimension?
or?
QR: I have no idea
TSB: And who thought the dog was a good idea?
Also, who thought those SHORTS were a good idea, KAITLYN?
QR: the dog is clearly smarter than the rest of them
TSB: I approve of Ryan's hair
I just need to point that out
QR: ha
TSB: wait, if they had to cross the bridge, how did they find the gateway?
QR: portal or gateway? IT"S A BIG TRIANGLE
TSB: How has nobody else noticed the portal?
QR: It looks nothing like a portal or a gateway
TSB: WHY WOULD YOU WALK INTO A BIG TRIANGLE THING
QR: maybe part of a Stargate, but not a whole gate
WITH A DISEMBODIED VOICE
TSB: .... I want the Stargate AU
QR: the blinky lights! This is clearly scientifically advanced because there are LOTS OF BLINKY LIGHTS
TSB: Really, a guy in a computer is talking to you, and "WHERE'S MY DAD" is the first question?
QR: THIS IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS
TSB: my first question would be "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
Is this supposed to be the internet? Or something?
QR: this is... I don't know what this is supposed to be
TSB: if he's trying to break through the barrier, HOW IS HE ALREADY SENDING THINGS THROUGH?
And how did they know there would be 2 friends?
Those suits? Still the ugliest
QR: this show makes no sense
TSB: nope
but Ryan has great hair
it is floppy
QR: and JB is super hot
TSB: Yes
I really want one of those necklaces
QR: hahaha
TSB: they're pretty!
Man, he's a worse mentor than Zordon
QR: you'll know everything if you just know the morphing call!
he sucks
THIS IS RIDICULOUS
TSB: You know, when I was a kid, I didn't always notice the repeat footage in PR
But I REALLY noticed it in VR Troopers
QR: I rarely did
half the time I still don't, honestly
they were far less careful with this show, I think.
TSB: well, they were also combining 2 shows into 1
QR: were they really?
TSB: they did a much better job with Beetleborgs
yep!
QR: I was never as big into VR Troopers as I was with Power Rangers
my things were Power Rangers and Mystic Knights
TSB: Ryan came from a show with a solo hero, and JB and Kaitlyn were hero and sidekick, I think?
QR: wow
TSB: that's why they always split up
QR: I see
OMG THE COMPUTERS
It goes to show how boring that fight was if we spent the whole time talking about the origination shows...
oh no, cliffhanger!
TSB: Oh no!
QR: I'm sure he'll be fine
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Anniversary Recap 1 - Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episode 1
Three years ago today, and I decided that we should start recapping Power Rangers. We honestly didn't think we would finish the first season. But now, we have recapped 311 episodes, and we're midway through season SEVEN. Only 400 episodes and counting to go!
So today, we bring you something different.
The first episode of the 35th super sentai, Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger. (Which will hopefully be adapted in 2013? PLEASE????)
Since it hasn't aired in the U.S. yet, we'll place this behind a cut. You get two recaps with this - first, an actual recap, and then our chat log.
So, we open up on a GIANT INVASION OF EARTH. Epic fight is epic, okay? And 34 freaking teams are there. There are really not enough words to do this thing justice, so I'm just going to link you to the clip. Each team gets to show off, and I just... my love of this fight can't even be explained. And if you've been reading for a while, you know I usually don't care about fight scenes. BUT THIS. Anyway, we watch the 34 teams use their powers to defeat the invading Zangyack, but of course, evil never entirely goes away, and they eventually come back, except this time it doesn't look like there are any sentai to stop them.
Introducing, our crew of pirates!
Captain Marvelous: He who lives up to his name and has a great coat
Joe: the secretly sad inside first mate
Luka: Thief and badass
Doc: Needs hugs, fixes things, secretly awesome
Ahim: Is Batman. Also, a princess.
We find out that they're searching for the greatest treasure in the universe, which is apparently on Earth. On their way, they get attacked by the Zangyack advance fleet, and we get a great battle, which includes them cutting a ship in half. Also, the CGI is pretty damn impressive.
Oh, and the villains are all amazing. They don't do a ton in this episode, but they will. And we find out that the invasion fleet is being run by the emperor's son, and I'm just busy flailing about things that will happen later, because I have SO MANY FEELINGS about this season. Look, I have as many feelings about Gokaiger as I do about Always a Chance. FEELINGS.
The Pirates all land on Earth, and they and their awesome bullhorn start interrogating the people, who claim to know nothing about the treasure, which makes all the pirates sad inside. Marv forces Luka to sell one of her rings, and she is not happy about it, but it gives them a ton of money. Poor Doc is sad, because he wants to go out for a nice meal, but instead Marv decides that they should go eat some cheap curry rice in a place that has something to do with Sun Vulcan, but I still haven't watched that season, so I'm not really sure! I hope in the adaptation its at the youth center. Just when Marv is about to get his curry, the shop gets all blown up, and he has a sad.
They go outside to discover that Earth is being invaded, and the pirates all continue to have a sad about it, because they clearly have seen this happen before. But they don't do anything about it until the monster of the week is threatening some tiny children, and that is just not acceptable. They get to do a dramatic entrance with their awesome slow-mo walk and badass coats, and then they morph and we get some AMAZING weapons work (weapons switching, showing off their individual fighting styles) and then we get to see them use the powers of other teams.
BECAUSE THIS IS GREAT.
The first thing they use is Goranger, which was the first sentai, and I swear people have explained the football and trash compactor thing to me repeatedly, so let me see if I have this right. The thing is a pun? The football attack is supposed to be what they fear most, and the Gormin is a pun on trash, so it turns into a garbage truck and takes out the trash? Or something? Whatever. I am sure it will be an MMPR thing when it is adapted. And the Gorangers have great capes.
Then we get Shinkenger (Samurai!) and Magiranger (Mystic Force!) and with that we get our first genderswap, and it is all pretty great. The Gokaigers use the FINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE to destroy the monster, and everything is amazing.
Tiny children are all "thank you for saving us!" but Marv claims that he only did it because he didn't get to eat his curry rice and he was in a bad mood. The Gokaigers are all SO GREAT and I have ALL THE FEELINGS.
BEST EVER.
QR: I love how dramatic it is right off the bat.
OMG LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS
TSB: Seriously, this is how you start a season. Shit blowing up, invasion, and ALL THE FUCKING RANGERS
also, the design for the Gormin is great
SERIOUSLY, LEGENDARY WAR FOR A REASON. LIKE
QR: totally
TSB: I have watched this fight probably a dozen times or so?
it never gets old
QR: that's because it's epicly awesome
TSB: I remember the first time I watched it I was going "REV, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS TEAM. AND NOW THIS TEAM. AND HI THERE PEOPLE I RECOGNIZE"
QR: I love the bug eyes the best
TSB: :D
QR: SERIOUSLY, LEADER OF ALLLLLLLL THE RANGERS
TSB: Akaranger is great
I still haven't figured out the timeline for this
HI NAVI
QR: AND NOW SPACE PIRATES
TSB: SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE PIRATES
QR: timeline? SHHHHHH. Timelines don't exist for this show
TSB: And Navi's "hey listen! Hey!" So great
Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuka
QR: JOE'S HAIR
TSB: I have so many feelings about all of them
SO MANY FEELINGS
QR: DOC'S RIDICULOUS WARDROBE
TSB: THE COATS
QR: LUKA BEING ALL "SO SHINY"
TSB: I want Navi to hook up with Circuit
QR: HA
TSB: Also, that is an impressive fleet. :D
QR: Marv and his SUPER AMAZING FLUFFY HAIR
TSB: That's what it means to be a pirate <333333333333333
And I love the themesong
QR: ME TOO
I should stop all capsing, yeah?
TSB: Why would you do that?
QR: I just love this show so freaking much
TSB: I have yet to just yell FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS for ten lines or so
QR: that is true
I totally expect that
TSB: Let's go let's gokaiger!
QR: Can they just take that theme song and make it the theme song for the US version when they adapt it? I love it so.
TSB: I wish
QR: SPACE CANNONS
TSB: STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP
and then they fucking CUT THE SHIP IN HALF. It would be better if they did it with a sword hat
but
QR: Also, spaceships that look like sea-faring ships? TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE. It's not like you need to worry about aerodynamics in space.
TSB: I WILL TAKE IT
QR: SWORD HAT
TSB: I am still really impressed by the CGI
QR: mee to
me too even
and it all just folds up! Like a pocket.
TSB: I am going to go so broke buying all the toys
Marv's boots <3 they are almost as great as his coat
QR: haha, anchors away right in the middle of a building and THEY SO DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
TSB: I JUST LOVE THAT HIS NAME IS CAPTAIN MARVELOUS
LIKE
THAT IS JUST PERFECT
QR: His coat is almost as great as Joe's hair, so it all works.
TSB: and the bullhorn is great too
Ahim, you and your super polite self, keep on accidentally insulting people <3
QR: Ahim is so sweet! She's all "Lowly person, I will speak to you so sweetly you'll like me anyway. Now I can have allllll your treasure, right?"
TSB: She is great
QR: She is AMAZING
TSB: LUKA <3
She just needs to top Doc forever
QR: DOC'S SUSPENDERS ARE HANGING DOWN. How did I never notice this before?
Honey, EVERYONE needs to top Doc forever.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her ring <3
EXCEPT GAI. DOC TOPS GAI
QR: Okay, I will accept that.
Except sometimes when Doc lets Gai top. Because it makes him happy.
TSB: I love all the villains
Oh, Walz Gil, please continue throwing hissy fits forever
QR: I like that there is no easy fix for them either
TSB: Luuuuuuuuuka <3
QR: Marv is all "piddly amount, but whatever". Way to show disinterest over A FUCKTON OF MONEY
Doc is all about the food.
TSB: Doc just wants people to treat him right
QR: who can blame him?
TSB: Now I want curry
QR: HE'S ADORABLE AND THE BEST HOUSEWIFE EVER AND HE DESERVES RESPECT
mmmmcurry
dude, you don't interrupt Marv's lunch.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her money. Poor Luka
And Marv! I just. I love how clearly you see all of their personalities in this first episode
QR: yet they're not really pushed to the extreme either
this is how a show is made!
PM also, MAGNETS!
they just drop down to Earth. On magnets.
people dying!
sad but at least somewhat realistic
Do not threaten Tiny Children!
TSB: They all have so many feelings
QR: FEEEEEEELLLLIIIINNNGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSS
TSB: CREEPY MONSTER IS STILL CREEPY
QR: YES
Marv won't stand for this!
TSB: MARV, YOU ARE THE BEST
That is how you do a dramatic entrance. With the badass coats
QR: THEY ARE SO BADASS
and the fluffy hair
TSB: and the slow determined walk
Just
yes
QR: Ahim is so adorably polite
TSB: WHEN WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, WE WRECK IT
Because that's what it means to be a pirate
YESSSSSS
And I love the morphs. And the costumes. And the ridiculous poses
QR: YES
TSB: Especially Doc
Because
QR: AND THE SWORDS
TSB: Ahahahaha
QR: he totally feels himself up
yeah
I like Joe's because he's all "My feelings are too much to bear, so I must rest my forehead in my hand while I silently suffer."
he's EmoTastic
TSB: Switching weapons! \o/
QR: SO GREAT
TSB: GOOOOOOOOOOOORANGER
QR: and the change!!!!!!!!!
TSB: Oh man, this hurricane thing
Japan loves its puns
QR: it's ridiculous
TSB: it makes more sense after I had it explained to me
QR: is it still ridiculous?
TSB: yes
QR: haha, okay, good
TSB: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKENGER
NEEDS SWORD HATS
MAAAAAAAAGIRANGER
QR: Everything needs a sword hat
TSB: and our first gender swap! I really want to know what Chip and Maddy would think :D
QR: they would probably love it
Chip would be totally excited! He's all for girl power.
TSB: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE
TINY CHILDREN THANKING THEM
QR: SO CUTE TINY CHILD
TSB: Marv is like "pfft"
QR: Marv is all "yeah, whatever"
TSB: YOU WILL GET YOUR CURRY RICE ONE DAY, MARVELOUS
<3 <3 <3
QR: HAH
TSB: BEST EXCUSE
QR: LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH
TSB: Ahim and Doc are so proud of them
QR: They are so adorable
TSB: AND NOW WE GET A SENTAIRAP :D
QR: IT IS AMAZING
TSB: I am so proud of myself for knowing all the team names in order now
LET'S GO PIRATES
QR: you should be! That's quite a feat.
So today, we bring you something different.
The first episode of the 35th super sentai, Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger. (Which will hopefully be adapted in 2013? PLEASE????)
Since it hasn't aired in the U.S. yet, we'll place this behind a cut. You get two recaps with this - first, an actual recap, and then our chat log.
Introducing, our crew of pirates!
Captain Marvelous: He who lives up to his name and has a great coat
Joe: the secretly sad inside first mate
Luka: Thief and badass
Doc: Needs hugs, fixes things, secretly awesome
Ahim: Is Batman. Also, a princess.
We find out that they're searching for the greatest treasure in the universe, which is apparently on Earth. On their way, they get attacked by the Zangyack advance fleet, and we get a great battle, which includes them cutting a ship in half. Also, the CGI is pretty damn impressive.
Oh, and the villains are all amazing. They don't do a ton in this episode, but they will. And we find out that the invasion fleet is being run by the emperor's son, and I'm just busy flailing about things that will happen later, because I have SO MANY FEELINGS about this season. Look, I have as many feelings about Gokaiger as I do about Always a Chance. FEELINGS.
The Pirates all land on Earth, and they and their awesome bullhorn start interrogating the people, who claim to know nothing about the treasure, which makes all the pirates sad inside. Marv forces Luka to sell one of her rings, and she is not happy about it, but it gives them a ton of money. Poor Doc is sad, because he wants to go out for a nice meal, but instead Marv decides that they should go eat some cheap curry rice in a place that has something to do with Sun Vulcan, but I still haven't watched that season, so I'm not really sure! I hope in the adaptation its at the youth center. Just when Marv is about to get his curry, the shop gets all blown up, and he has a sad.
They go outside to discover that Earth is being invaded, and the pirates all continue to have a sad about it, because they clearly have seen this happen before. But they don't do anything about it until the monster of the week is threatening some tiny children, and that is just not acceptable. They get to do a dramatic entrance with their awesome slow-mo walk and badass coats, and then they morph and we get some AMAZING weapons work (weapons switching, showing off their individual fighting styles) and then we get to see them use the powers of other teams.
BECAUSE THIS IS GREAT.
The first thing they use is Goranger, which was the first sentai, and I swear people have explained the football and trash compactor thing to me repeatedly, so let me see if I have this right. The thing is a pun? The football attack is supposed to be what they fear most, and the Gormin is a pun on trash, so it turns into a garbage truck and takes out the trash? Or something? Whatever. I am sure it will be an MMPR thing when it is adapted. And the Gorangers have great capes.
Then we get Shinkenger (Samurai!) and Magiranger (Mystic Force!) and with that we get our first genderswap, and it is all pretty great. The Gokaigers use the FINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE to destroy the monster, and everything is amazing.
Tiny children are all "thank you for saving us!" but Marv claims that he only did it because he didn't get to eat his curry rice and he was in a bad mood. The Gokaigers are all SO GREAT and I have ALL THE FEELINGS.
BEST EVER.
OMG LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS
TSB: Seriously, this is how you start a season. Shit blowing up, invasion, and ALL THE FUCKING RANGERS
also, the design for the Gormin is great
SERIOUSLY, LEGENDARY WAR FOR A REASON. LIKE
QR: totally
TSB: I have watched this fight probably a dozen times or so?
it never gets old
QR: that's because it's epicly awesome
TSB: I remember the first time I watched it I was going "REV, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS TEAM. AND NOW THIS TEAM. AND HI THERE PEOPLE I RECOGNIZE"
QR: I love the bug eyes the best
TSB: :D
QR: SERIOUSLY, LEADER OF ALLLLLLLL THE RANGERS
TSB: Akaranger is great
I still haven't figured out the timeline for this
HI NAVI
QR: AND NOW SPACE PIRATES
TSB: SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE PIRATES
QR: timeline? SHHHHHH. Timelines don't exist for this show
TSB: And Navi's "hey listen! Hey!" So great
Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuka
QR: JOE'S HAIR
TSB: I have so many feelings about all of them
SO MANY FEELINGS
QR: DOC'S RIDICULOUS WARDROBE
TSB: THE COATS
QR: LUKA BEING ALL "SO SHINY"
TSB: I want Navi to hook up with Circuit
QR: HA
TSB: Also, that is an impressive fleet. :D
QR: Marv and his SUPER AMAZING FLUFFY HAIR
TSB: That's what it means to be a pirate <333333333333333
And I love the themesong
QR: ME TOO
I should stop all capsing, yeah?
TSB: Why would you do that?
QR: I just love this show so freaking much
TSB: I have yet to just yell FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS for ten lines or so
QR: that is true
I totally expect that
TSB: Let's go let's gokaiger!
QR: Can they just take that theme song and make it the theme song for the US version when they adapt it? I love it so.
TSB: I wish
QR: SPACE CANNONS
TSB: STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP
and then they fucking CUT THE SHIP IN HALF. It would be better if they did it with a sword hat
but
QR: Also, spaceships that look like sea-faring ships? TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE. It's not like you need to worry about aerodynamics in space.
TSB: I WILL TAKE IT
QR: SWORD HAT
TSB: I am still really impressed by the CGI
QR: mee to
me too even
and it all just folds up! Like a pocket.
TSB: I am going to go so broke buying all the toys
Marv's boots <3 they are almost as great as his coat
QR: haha, anchors away right in the middle of a building and THEY SO DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
TSB: I JUST LOVE THAT HIS NAME IS CAPTAIN MARVELOUS
LIKE
THAT IS JUST PERFECT
QR: His coat is almost as great as Joe's hair, so it all works.
TSB: and the bullhorn is great too
Ahim, you and your super polite self, keep on accidentally insulting people <3
QR: Ahim is so sweet! She's all "Lowly person, I will speak to you so sweetly you'll like me anyway. Now I can have allllll your treasure, right?"
TSB: She is great
QR: She is AMAZING
TSB: LUKA <3
She just needs to top Doc forever
QR: DOC'S SUSPENDERS ARE HANGING DOWN. How did I never notice this before?
Honey, EVERYONE needs to top Doc forever.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her ring <3
EXCEPT GAI. DOC TOPS GAI
QR: Okay, I will accept that.
Except sometimes when Doc lets Gai top. Because it makes him happy.
TSB: I love all the villains
Oh, Walz Gil, please continue throwing hissy fits forever
QR: I like that there is no easy fix for them either
TSB: Luuuuuuuuuka <3
QR: Marv is all "piddly amount, but whatever". Way to show disinterest over A FUCKTON OF MONEY
Doc is all about the food.
TSB: Doc just wants people to treat him right
QR: who can blame him?
TSB: Now I want curry
QR: HE'S ADORABLE AND THE BEST HOUSEWIFE EVER AND HE DESERVES RESPECT
mmmmcurry
dude, you don't interrupt Marv's lunch.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her money. Poor Luka
And Marv! I just. I love how clearly you see all of their personalities in this first episode
QR: yet they're not really pushed to the extreme either
this is how a show is made!
PM also, MAGNETS!
they just drop down to Earth. On magnets.
people dying!
sad but at least somewhat realistic
Do not threaten Tiny Children!
TSB: They all have so many feelings
QR: FEEEEEEELLLLIIIINNNGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSS
TSB: CREEPY MONSTER IS STILL CREEPY
QR: YES
Marv won't stand for this!
TSB: MARV, YOU ARE THE BEST
That is how you do a dramatic entrance. With the badass coats
QR: THEY ARE SO BADASS
and the fluffy hair
TSB: and the slow determined walk
Just
yes
QR: Ahim is so adorably polite
TSB: WHEN WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, WE WRECK IT
Because that's what it means to be a pirate
YESSSSSS
And I love the morphs. And the costumes. And the ridiculous poses
QR: YES
TSB: Especially Doc
Because
QR: AND THE SWORDS
TSB: Ahahahaha
QR: he totally feels himself up
yeah
I like Joe's because he's all "My feelings are too much to bear, so I must rest my forehead in my hand while I silently suffer."
he's EmoTastic
TSB: Switching weapons! \o/
QR: SO GREAT
TSB: GOOOOOOOOOOOORANGER
QR: and the change!!!!!!!!!
TSB: Oh man, this hurricane thing
Japan loves its puns
QR: it's ridiculous
TSB: it makes more sense after I had it explained to me
QR: is it still ridiculous?
TSB: yes
QR: haha, okay, good
TSB: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKENGER
NEEDS SWORD HATS
MAAAAAAAAGIRANGER
QR: Everything needs a sword hat
TSB: and our first gender swap! I really want to know what Chip and Maddy would think :D
QR: they would probably love it
Chip would be totally excited! He's all for girl power.
TSB: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE
TINY CHILDREN THANKING THEM
QR: SO CUTE TINY CHILD
TSB: Marv is like "pfft"
QR: Marv is all "yeah, whatever"
TSB: YOU WILL GET YOUR CURRY RICE ONE DAY, MARVELOUS
<3 <3 <3
QR: HAH
TSB: BEST EXCUSE
QR: LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH
TSB: Ahim and Doc are so proud of them
QR: They are so adorable
TSB: AND NOW WE GET A SENTAIRAP :D
QR: IT IS AMAZING
TSB: I am so proud of myself for knowing all the team names in order now
LET'S GO PIRATES
QR: you should be! That's quite a feat.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Episode 311- The Rescue Mission
I am steadfastly refusing to acknowledge the last episode even existed (because otherwise I feel dirty and wrong). It didn't happen. It wasn't there. Instead, I downed an entire glass of wine in 15 minutes. Probably not the best life choice, but it got me through that-which-shall-not-be-named.
So I get the not-really-power-rangers episode of power rangers.
There is a distress call! It's all static-y! Somebody somewhere is under attack! Commander Stanton is trying to figure out where they are because he is so going to help. Hey, it's like the start of all my favourite sci-fi movies!
(in the opening, Leo rips his shirt so beautifully... I really want to see that again, kthanks show)
So Kai tracks down the origination of the signal and the Commander and Mike take it to the upper decision making people. They have to decide if they should divert course to go help or continue on to the colony and ignore them. Mike is all about helping, because helping is second nature and they may be in trouble some day too and they wouldn't want to be ignored. I like Mike. He is a wise man.
He also gets to lead the mission! Because he is awesome, although not nearly dramatically swishy enough. He wants Leo to go with and finds him playing with a group of Tiny Children, which is utterly adorable. They board the ship which appears to be dead in space. Poor ship (is it wrong that the rescue mission ship looks like a fish and the first thing I thought was "OMG OUR SCALE IS CANON IN THIS SHOW TOO!"?).
There is video monitoring and tracking and things are covered in webs and OMG IT IS THE BEST SCI-FI HORROR MOVIE EVER! WHO WILL DIE FIRST? THIS IS THE GREATEST! I know, I know, the first guy to go will be the guy who steps in weird green goo. Or maybe not die, because this is Power Rangers. But they do find a dead crew member. And doors being eaten by the green goo.
This leads them to the bridge, where the distress call is broadcasting on repeat. The captain is long since dead, unfortunately. He was clinging tenaciously to a book of some sort so they take it back with them. Meanwhile, Kai spots movement that isn't their crew. It's rapidly approaching and all they can do is watch in horror while this otherworldly thing goes after their rescue crew. And the radio signal breaks up! THIS IS DELIGHTFUL! The THING got Jasper. The rest of the crew starts to freak out, as you do when you watch some unknown thing run away with your buddy.
Mike makes the executive decision to continue with the rescue mission, despite all the crew being long since dead (I guess he's going to find Jasper?). They trawl through the bowels of the ship, you guys! THE BOWELS OF THE SHIP!!!! It is here they find the unknown creature. It's clearly alien (duh) and it's attacking them with claws and things are chaotic and wires are torn and people go missing and IT CLIMBS ON THE CEILING GUYS! It wants to eat Leo. I can't blame it. I do, too.
They find the missing crew wrapped in cocoons and apparently being host to something or being stored for later food? It's AWESOME.
Kai is distraught because he can't get a signal on his boyfriend. Luckily Kendrix is brilliant and has an idea. She, Kai, and Maya morph and go start getting people off the ship. Leo and Mike have to buy some time to get the injured off the ship so they go after the unknown creature. They distract it and there is running and more ceiling running. But then they fire their guns and shoot it, poor thing, and somehow blow up a bunch of stuff. The creature kind of looks like a slightly overweight Terrian from Earth 2...
Leo and Mike continue to run away and find an airlock, that is jammed, so they blast it open with guns and step aside and somehow manage to avoid being sucked out into open space. Luckily the rescue ship shows up and they jump across... y'know, through open space without holding their breath or freezing or IMPLODING. Science does not work this way. Battlestar Galactica did this bit better (and they failed at a lot of things on that show).
Mike almost makes it but alien guy grabs his foot while Leo holds his hand and refuses to let go. Mike tries to make him let go, but Leo won't, not this time. It is touching brotherly love. He pulls Mike in and the ship blows up but everybody is safe and they go home all in one piece. Good job guys.
3 fish (because space really really really does NOT work even close to that). This episode is like the best of the wraith from Stargate Atlantis meets Alien meets Firefly meets Event Horizon meets Star Trek meets (yes, I had to include it) Starship Troopers and and and! THIS WAS THE BEST EPISODE OF POWER RANGERS I HAVE EVER SEEN.
So I get the not-really-power-rangers episode of power rangers.
There is a distress call! It's all static-y! Somebody somewhere is under attack! Commander Stanton is trying to figure out where they are because he is so going to help. Hey, it's like the start of all my favourite sci-fi movies!
(in the opening, Leo rips his shirt so beautifully... I really want to see that again, kthanks show)
So Kai tracks down the origination of the signal and the Commander and Mike take it to the upper decision making people. They have to decide if they should divert course to go help or continue on to the colony and ignore them. Mike is all about helping, because helping is second nature and they may be in trouble some day too and they wouldn't want to be ignored. I like Mike. He is a wise man.
He also gets to lead the mission! Because he is awesome, although not nearly dramatically swishy enough. He wants Leo to go with and finds him playing with a group of Tiny Children, which is utterly adorable. They board the ship which appears to be dead in space. Poor ship (is it wrong that the rescue mission ship looks like a fish and the first thing I thought was "OMG OUR SCALE IS CANON IN THIS SHOW TOO!"?).
There is video monitoring and tracking and things are covered in webs and OMG IT IS THE BEST SCI-FI HORROR MOVIE EVER! WHO WILL DIE FIRST? THIS IS THE GREATEST! I know, I know, the first guy to go will be the guy who steps in weird green goo. Or maybe not die, because this is Power Rangers. But they do find a dead crew member. And doors being eaten by the green goo.
This leads them to the bridge, where the distress call is broadcasting on repeat. The captain is long since dead, unfortunately. He was clinging tenaciously to a book of some sort so they take it back with them. Meanwhile, Kai spots movement that isn't their crew. It's rapidly approaching and all they can do is watch in horror while this otherworldly thing goes after their rescue crew. And the radio signal breaks up! THIS IS DELIGHTFUL! The THING got Jasper. The rest of the crew starts to freak out, as you do when you watch some unknown thing run away with your buddy.
Mike makes the executive decision to continue with the rescue mission, despite all the crew being long since dead (I guess he's going to find Jasper?). They trawl through the bowels of the ship, you guys! THE BOWELS OF THE SHIP!!!! It is here they find the unknown creature. It's clearly alien (duh) and it's attacking them with claws and things are chaotic and wires are torn and people go missing and IT CLIMBS ON THE CEILING GUYS! It wants to eat Leo. I can't blame it. I do, too.
They find the missing crew wrapped in cocoons and apparently being host to something or being stored for later food? It's AWESOME.
Kai is distraught because he can't get a signal on his boyfriend. Luckily Kendrix is brilliant and has an idea. She, Kai, and Maya morph and go start getting people off the ship. Leo and Mike have to buy some time to get the injured off the ship so they go after the unknown creature. They distract it and there is running and more ceiling running. But then they fire their guns and shoot it, poor thing, and somehow blow up a bunch of stuff. The creature kind of looks like a slightly overweight Terrian from Earth 2...
Leo and Mike continue to run away and find an airlock, that is jammed, so they blast it open with guns and step aside and somehow manage to avoid being sucked out into open space. Luckily the rescue ship shows up and they jump across... y'know, through open space without holding their breath or freezing or IMPLODING. Science does not work this way. Battlestar Galactica did this bit better (and they failed at a lot of things on that show).
Mike almost makes it but alien guy grabs his foot while Leo holds his hand and refuses to let go. Mike tries to make him let go, but Leo won't, not this time. It is touching brotherly love. He pulls Mike in and the ship blows up but everybody is safe and they go home all in one piece. Good job guys.
3 fish (because space really really really does NOT work even close to that). This episode is like the best of the wraith from Stargate Atlantis meets Alien meets Firefly meets Event Horizon meets Star Trek meets (yes, I had to include it) Starship Troopers and and and! THIS WAS THE BEST EPISODE OF POWER RANGERS I HAVE EVER SEEN.
Episode 310 - Stolen Beauty
I have been incredibly cranky for almost a week now, so I actually requested this episode. Why? Because if I'm going to be annoyed with something, I might as well be annoyed with something that deserves it. In case you can't tell, I do not like this episode. I could do a whole feminism 101 post and talk about the representation of women in media, but I really don't feel like it and you can google it anyway. The point is, I have a lot of feelings about this episode and everything is symbolizes, and I really fucking hate stealing beauty plots as if that is the only thing important about (cis) women. I am also not going to rant about beauty standards and what it is that beauty actually means, and especially whether we're talking about western ideals of beauty and seriously, everything about this is bullshit.
Disclaimer: I am going to try and talk about these things to the best of my ability, but if I screw up and say something ridiculous or offensive, please let me know and I will do my best to fix it.
So. Episode.
We open with Trakeena pulling an evil Queen from Snow White, and the mirror tells her that she's the most beautiful, except for a lot of other girls from Terra Venture, so she immediately orders the monster to steal all the beauty from the women (almost all white, thin and "conventionally attractive") which... makes their skin yellow and purple and turns the beauty into sand? There is really only so many times that I can loudly scream BULLSHIT, right?
The monster goes after some more women, and the Rangers show up to fight him, and I'm honestly spending most of this time ranting angrily because FEELINGS and RAGE. Also, I'm explaining to QR that this isn't a stealing inner beauty thing, this is basically all about physical appearances.
Trakeena is all happy that all the beauty has been stolen, but decides she will go see for herself. She turns herself into another thin white woman, and apparently she's so hot that all the men (because everyone on the station is straight apparently) can't control themselves and lose track of everything but how hot she is and just follow her around and this is SUPER DISTURBING AND WRONG, AND SHOW, WHAT SORT OF MESSAGE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING HERE.
Trakeena sees Mike and goes after him, and we see him in a bar which is apparently run by Bulk and the Professor. (Hey, they exist.) The two of them apparently got fired and now they're running a bar. Trakeena comes in and everyone immediately hits on her, and Mike appears to be the only one unaffected. Bulk gives Trakeena Mike's food, and she promptly puts a potion on it and returns it to him.
She flirts with him really badly, but he's also really bad at it. (Seriously, you live around here? On a space station? Worst ever.) He doesn't eat the burger because he's late to meet the others, but he invites her along. Back on Scorpius's ship, Scorpius is all excited about a cocoon that is being built for Trakeena.
Mike introduces Trakeena to the other rangers, and the boys are all immediately in love with her, but the girls are fine, because apparently there are no LGB people on Terra Venture. The boys are openly discussing how hot Trakeena is and the girls are clearly annoyed.
The monster shows back up, and starts to steal the beauty from the girls, but Trakeena is like "it's me, you idiot" so it only attacks Kendrix and Maya. Mike escorts Trakeena away, while the boys fight. Apparently losing their beauty has also made them unconscious.
Mike says he's escorting Trakeena home, but instead they go buy some drinks, and she spikes his.He drinks it and appears to pass out. The monster shows up and hands Trakeena the sand, but it turns out that Mike had switched the glasses when her back was turned, and the sand magically makes everyone white again.
FUCK THIS EPISODE. There are some serious unfortunate implications here, show. YOU ARE USUALLY BETTER ABOUT SUCH THINGS.
The Rangers all morph and fight. QR and I discuss how drunk we need to get to finish this episode. I'm seriously considering breaking out the vodka. And judging by the sentai footage, this was supposed to be an episode about Kendrix, so I can be cranky about how Kendrix should have had more to do as well. (So, in an episode about female beauty standards, all Kendrix and Maya have had to do are be annoyed with Trakeena and get knocked out. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.) The fugly zords get summoned and they destroy the monster.
Later, Mike does a magic trick, and Damon is really impressed. Because it's all an illusion, like Trakeena's beauty, apparently. WAIT, IS THAT THE MORAL OF THIS STORY? And then the boys are horrified by the girls' beauty regimens.
Show. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE WORDS.
Trakeena doesn't want to get put into the cocoon because she doesn't want to be ugly. Instead, she runs away.
Fish: FIVE. I AM SO PISSED OFF. This is wrong on so many levels, and frankly, incredibly fucking disturbing, and I am going to have some vodka and strike this episode from my personal canon.
Disclaimer: I am going to try and talk about these things to the best of my ability, but if I screw up and say something ridiculous or offensive, please let me know and I will do my best to fix it.
So. Episode.
We open with Trakeena pulling an evil Queen from Snow White, and the mirror tells her that she's the most beautiful, except for a lot of other girls from Terra Venture, so she immediately orders the monster to steal all the beauty from the women (almost all white, thin and "conventionally attractive") which... makes their skin yellow and purple and turns the beauty into sand? There is really only so many times that I can loudly scream BULLSHIT, right?
The monster goes after some more women, and the Rangers show up to fight him, and I'm honestly spending most of this time ranting angrily because FEELINGS and RAGE. Also, I'm explaining to QR that this isn't a stealing inner beauty thing, this is basically all about physical appearances.
Trakeena is all happy that all the beauty has been stolen, but decides she will go see for herself. She turns herself into another thin white woman, and apparently she's so hot that all the men (because everyone on the station is straight apparently) can't control themselves and lose track of everything but how hot she is and just follow her around and this is SUPER DISTURBING AND WRONG, AND SHOW, WHAT SORT OF MESSAGE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING HERE.
Trakeena sees Mike and goes after him, and we see him in a bar which is apparently run by Bulk and the Professor. (Hey, they exist.) The two of them apparently got fired and now they're running a bar. Trakeena comes in and everyone immediately hits on her, and Mike appears to be the only one unaffected. Bulk gives Trakeena Mike's food, and she promptly puts a potion on it and returns it to him.
She flirts with him really badly, but he's also really bad at it. (Seriously, you live around here? On a space station? Worst ever.) He doesn't eat the burger because he's late to meet the others, but he invites her along. Back on Scorpius's ship, Scorpius is all excited about a cocoon that is being built for Trakeena.
Mike introduces Trakeena to the other rangers, and the boys are all immediately in love with her, but the girls are fine, because apparently there are no LGB people on Terra Venture. The boys are openly discussing how hot Trakeena is and the girls are clearly annoyed.
The monster shows back up, and starts to steal the beauty from the girls, but Trakeena is like "it's me, you idiot" so it only attacks Kendrix and Maya. Mike escorts Trakeena away, while the boys fight. Apparently losing their beauty has also made them unconscious.
Mike says he's escorting Trakeena home, but instead they go buy some drinks, and she spikes his.He drinks it and appears to pass out. The monster shows up and hands Trakeena the sand, but it turns out that Mike had switched the glasses when her back was turned, and the sand magically makes everyone white again.
FUCK THIS EPISODE. There are some serious unfortunate implications here, show. YOU ARE USUALLY BETTER ABOUT SUCH THINGS.
The Rangers all morph and fight. QR and I discuss how drunk we need to get to finish this episode. I'm seriously considering breaking out the vodka. And judging by the sentai footage, this was supposed to be an episode about Kendrix, so I can be cranky about how Kendrix should have had more to do as well. (So, in an episode about female beauty standards, all Kendrix and Maya have had to do are be annoyed with Trakeena and get knocked out. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.) The fugly zords get summoned and they destroy the monster.
Later, Mike does a magic trick, and Damon is really impressed. Because it's all an illusion, like Trakeena's beauty, apparently. WAIT, IS THAT THE MORAL OF THIS STORY? And then the boys are horrified by the girls' beauty regimens.
Show. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE WORDS.
Trakeena doesn't want to get put into the cocoon because she doesn't want to be ugly. Instead, she runs away.
Fish: FIVE. I AM SO PISSED OFF. This is wrong on so many levels, and frankly, incredibly fucking disturbing, and I am going to have some vodka and strike this episode from my personal canon.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Episode 309 - Destined For Greatness
So Mike and his beautifully floppy hair are back!
Everyone is toasting Mike (oooh, champagne, want some) and Leo tells Mike that he knew he had survived. Mike has SUCH A SAD about it and recaps the whole Magna Defender arch again, because... it isn't like we just watched it? Okay, admittedly there was like four months between episodes or something. But now EVERYONE has a sad about the Magna Defender. Mike wonders how he is going to explain where he was, and everyone laughs, except for Leo, who has a sad.
Trakeena is sulking about how she can't battle the Rangers, and how her dad never lets her do anything. But he has a new plan, that is going to involve kidnapping, so you know I am all over this.
Leo is staring at the Quasar saber and having a sad, and Kendrix drives over in the cute little car. Leo is apparently waiting for Mike, and Kendrix isn't sure why Leo has a sad, when he has his brother back. Luckily, she is smart, and figures out that he's having the sad about which one of them is destined to use the saber, since Mike DID pull it from the stone and all.
Mike is all "life is short, smell the flowers, life needs to mean something" etc, and Leo is about to tell him about all the feelings, when there's an attack. We get some unmorphed fighting, which makes me really happy, and then the other four Rangers get kidnapped and caught in some mirrors or something. Leo gets injured (but one that sadly does not result in shirtlessness) and Mike forces them to retreat. He is totally protecting his little brother. ♥
Leo yells at Mike for making them retreat, but Mike is all "don't worry, my dog tags are magic tracking devices and I put one on a stingwinger" because apparently they're made out of a special metal and are the only ones on the station. Mike and Leo track down the monsters while the Rangers' energy is being used to make finger puppets that grow. We get some more unmorphed fighting!
During the fight, the saber gets knocked out of Leo's hands, and Mike picks it up, and hands it to him. Leo tells Mike that Mike deserves it, but Mike is all "no, you are the red ranger now." They argue about destiny and who is the one that deserves the sword, and it's pretty sweet and touching, and awww, boys!
Leo uses the saber to destroy one of the skeleton things, and Mike is all "there is no other red ranger" and while I'm sure there are 17 others who would argue with that, it is a very sweet moment.
Mike and Leo continue the unmorphed fighting for a while, and then the monster yells "you don't know who you're dealing with" and Leo replies "neither do you" and then shoots fireballs at him. It is so DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY and I love it. The other Rangers are able to escape, and it looks like Kendrix and Leo are about to make out. The five Rangers morphs and Mike is all "my brother and his friends are awesome" and he keeps fighting anyway, because his floppy hair is all the protection he needs.
The Rangers summon the fish of orion, and then the monster grows. The fugly megazord is having some trouble against the monster, and it gets trapped, and suddenly the Magna Defender shows up, and presents his sword to Mike. Now Mike can be a Ranger too! (Yes, I am on team Magna Defender is a Ranger, just so you know.) He transforms and gets the dramatic flowy cape and summons Torozord and saves the day!
Everyone is like "cool" and then Damon insults his zord choice, because Damon is great. Torozord does not agree. (Damon, I'm sorry, but it looks way less ridiculous then your zord does.)
There's a meeting of the Terra Venture higher up council of something, and we find out that they have traveled 5.6 lightyears and apparently that's almost to the next galaxy or something, because they fail to understand how space works. Mike shows up and interrupts the meeting to try to explain where he was (and fails miserably) and all of the ruling council people are just "I'm sure he has an explanation" because they are NOT STUPID and understand how sixth rangers work.
Fish: 2! Good job, Lost Galaxy! Please keep up the ridiculous cheesy brothers being awesome and what... wait... what episode is next? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Everyone is toasting Mike (oooh, champagne, want some) and Leo tells Mike that he knew he had survived. Mike has SUCH A SAD about it and recaps the whole Magna Defender arch again, because... it isn't like we just watched it? Okay, admittedly there was like four months between episodes or something. But now EVERYONE has a sad about the Magna Defender. Mike wonders how he is going to explain where he was, and everyone laughs, except for Leo, who has a sad.
Trakeena is sulking about how she can't battle the Rangers, and how her dad never lets her do anything. But he has a new plan, that is going to involve kidnapping, so you know I am all over this.
Leo is staring at the Quasar saber and having a sad, and Kendrix drives over in the cute little car. Leo is apparently waiting for Mike, and Kendrix isn't sure why Leo has a sad, when he has his brother back. Luckily, she is smart, and figures out that he's having the sad about which one of them is destined to use the saber, since Mike DID pull it from the stone and all.
Mike is all "life is short, smell the flowers, life needs to mean something" etc, and Leo is about to tell him about all the feelings, when there's an attack. We get some unmorphed fighting, which makes me really happy, and then the other four Rangers get kidnapped and caught in some mirrors or something. Leo gets injured (but one that sadly does not result in shirtlessness) and Mike forces them to retreat. He is totally protecting his little brother. ♥
Leo yells at Mike for making them retreat, but Mike is all "don't worry, my dog tags are magic tracking devices and I put one on a stingwinger" because apparently they're made out of a special metal and are the only ones on the station. Mike and Leo track down the monsters while the Rangers' energy is being used to make finger puppets that grow. We get some more unmorphed fighting!
During the fight, the saber gets knocked out of Leo's hands, and Mike picks it up, and hands it to him. Leo tells Mike that Mike deserves it, but Mike is all "no, you are the red ranger now." They argue about destiny and who is the one that deserves the sword, and it's pretty sweet and touching, and awww, boys!
Leo uses the saber to destroy one of the skeleton things, and Mike is all "there is no other red ranger" and while I'm sure there are 17 others who would argue with that, it is a very sweet moment.
Mike and Leo continue the unmorphed fighting for a while, and then the monster yells "you don't know who you're dealing with" and Leo replies "neither do you" and then shoots fireballs at him. It is so DELIGHTFULLY CHEESY and I love it. The other Rangers are able to escape, and it looks like Kendrix and Leo are about to make out. The five Rangers morphs and Mike is all "my brother and his friends are awesome" and he keeps fighting anyway, because his floppy hair is all the protection he needs.
The Rangers summon the fish of orion, and then the monster grows. The fugly megazord is having some trouble against the monster, and it gets trapped, and suddenly the Magna Defender shows up, and presents his sword to Mike. Now Mike can be a Ranger too! (Yes, I am on team Magna Defender is a Ranger, just so you know.) He transforms and gets the dramatic flowy cape and summons Torozord and saves the day!
Everyone is like "cool" and then Damon insults his zord choice, because Damon is great. Torozord does not agree. (Damon, I'm sorry, but it looks way less ridiculous then your zord does.)
There's a meeting of the Terra Venture higher up council of something, and we find out that they have traveled 5.6 lightyears and apparently that's almost to the next galaxy or something, because they fail to understand how space works. Mike shows up and interrupts the meeting to try to explain where he was (and fails miserably) and all of the ruling council people are just "I'm sure he has an explanation" because they are NOT STUPID and understand how sixth rangers work.
Fish: 2! Good job, Lost Galaxy! Please keep up the ridiculous cheesy brothers being awesome and what... wait... what episode is next? NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Episode 308- Redemption Day
So I was told I should recap this episode tonight, because it is relevant to my interests. Those being the Magna Defender being dramatic and having a dramatically swishy cape. And seeing as those are my pretty much all things holding my interest right now, yes, yes this is a good episode for me to recap.
So something BAD is going down on Scorpius' ship. They're leaking fuel and it's bad. Trakeena doesn't want to drift and freeze. She is so melodramatic. It's okay though because they know where Terra Venture is and they can totes go steal the fuel there.
Speaking of, Maya and Leo are traipsing around "the mountain dome" in the happiest little car ever (seriously, it's SMILING. I want one now.) This makes Maya think of home and be happy, and then she's suddenly vaguely telepathic again. Just in time to see Scorpius' ship approach. Leo shoves her away from the "window" just as they're attacked. They manage to outrun the fireball instead of being SUCKED INTO SPACE WHICH IS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD SOMETHING PUNCHED A BIG GIANT HOLE IN THE SHIP. Leo and Maya dash through the airlock just in time to be saved.
Scorpius is draining the power from the mountain dome. The rangers are going to stop him because they are pretty. The Magna Defender overhears and it totally going to get his revenge. So he goes to the volcano in an attempt to blow it up and he's all dramatically emotive. He doesn't care that it will take out the colony as well as Scorpius' ship. Dude has some drama issues.
Then we meet Freaky Tiki and I really... have no words for that. I think I'd rather focus on the Magna Defender being dramatic with his dramatically swishy cape and theme music. He is damaged and injured and has a sad, and then Leo fights off sting wingers to help him and nearly dies defending him. Magna Defender is sort of confused, but brings up Mike, how well he knows him, and how they met at the bottom of the crevice. After 3,000 years, Magna Defender finally had somebody to talk to! He stole Mike's spirit (huh?) and escaped (again... huh?). Basically it boils down to Mike is alive for now but he'll die unless the Magna Defender is destroyed and Leo has to do it. But he doesn't want to because somewhere down inside Magna Defender, the honourable man still exists and Leo only destroys evil, not good guys.
(And this is where I am REALLY confused. How did they switch spirits? How will destroying Dramatic MD save Mike? Won't they both die if Mike only lives in him? What about Mike's body? It's still trapped in the Crevice of Doom. This is super fishy, even for this season)
Magna Defender has honour. He remembers his Tiny Child WHO FOR SOME REASON MUST DIE ON SCREEN AGAIN. REALLY SHOW???? At least it means we get more dramatic swishy cape and Super Sad Dramatic Theme Music? But anyway, Leo won't destroy him and then they go fight the monster-I-refuse-to-talk-about.
Scorpius runs away. The volcano is about to blow. There is lots of dramatic music and fire and falling down. Leo refuses to give up. But they can't make it and force demorph and still try. So Dramatic Magna Defender MONOLOGUES AND IT IS BRILLIANT AND OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO. I love him so much I can even deal with seeing Tiny Child die AGAIN. Which is triggery, by the way, so that should tell you just how much I love this storyline that I'm willing to risk watching it.
Magna Defender sees the spirit of his Tiny Child and he convinces him to be the hero. Because to Tiny Child, his father always was and always will be the warrior hero. With pretty flowers to save his father's soul. AND OH MY HEART. So Magna Defender pulls himself together, picks up the pretty soul-saving flowers his Spirit Tiny Child dropped for him, and DRAMATICALLY STUMBLES HIS WAY TO THE TOP OF THE VOLCANO. And saves the day. Because he is the most dramatic ever and it's wonderful. Leo tries to stop him, but he puts them in a bubble and does it anyway. I LOVE THIS GUY SO FREAKING MUCH, YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA. He only makes it because Spirit Tiny Child appears and takes his hand, and together they go the rest of the way, until he goes into the volcano and stops it erupting. With his life. It is AMAZING.
Leo assures them he's not gone, that he'll live forever, and the temperature stabilizes. And out of the dust comes Mike. Stumbling dramatically. Too bad he doesn't have a cape. He does have dramatically floppy hair, though, so it's okay.
And there is a hug! Leo runs and hugs him! And they cling to each other and tell them how much they missed them and how they're never going away again and it's all super dramatic and lovely.
3.5 fish. The story was GREAT and I love the Magna Defender arc and it's all so dramatically delightful. Except that it makes no sense. But I love it anyway.
So something BAD is going down on Scorpius' ship. They're leaking fuel and it's bad. Trakeena doesn't want to drift and freeze. She is so melodramatic. It's okay though because they know where Terra Venture is and they can totes go steal the fuel there.
Speaking of, Maya and Leo are traipsing around "the mountain dome" in the happiest little car ever (seriously, it's SMILING. I want one now.) This makes Maya think of home and be happy, and then she's suddenly vaguely telepathic again. Just in time to see Scorpius' ship approach. Leo shoves her away from the "window" just as they're attacked. They manage to outrun the fireball instead of being SUCKED INTO SPACE WHICH IS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD SOMETHING PUNCHED A BIG GIANT HOLE IN THE SHIP. Leo and Maya dash through the airlock just in time to be saved.
Scorpius is draining the power from the mountain dome. The rangers are going to stop him because they are pretty. The Magna Defender overhears and it totally going to get his revenge. So he goes to the volcano in an attempt to blow it up and he's all dramatically emotive. He doesn't care that it will take out the colony as well as Scorpius' ship. Dude has some drama issues.
Then we meet Freaky Tiki and I really... have no words for that. I think I'd rather focus on the Magna Defender being dramatic with his dramatically swishy cape and theme music. He is damaged and injured and has a sad, and then Leo fights off sting wingers to help him and nearly dies defending him. Magna Defender is sort of confused, but brings up Mike, how well he knows him, and how they met at the bottom of the crevice. After 3,000 years, Magna Defender finally had somebody to talk to! He stole Mike's spirit (huh?) and escaped (again... huh?). Basically it boils down to Mike is alive for now but he'll die unless the Magna Defender is destroyed and Leo has to do it. But he doesn't want to because somewhere down inside Magna Defender, the honourable man still exists and Leo only destroys evil, not good guys.
(And this is where I am REALLY confused. How did they switch spirits? How will destroying Dramatic MD save Mike? Won't they both die if Mike only lives in him? What about Mike's body? It's still trapped in the Crevice of Doom. This is super fishy, even for this season)
Magna Defender has honour. He remembers his Tiny Child WHO FOR SOME REASON MUST DIE ON SCREEN AGAIN. REALLY SHOW???? At least it means we get more dramatic swishy cape and Super Sad Dramatic Theme Music? But anyway, Leo won't destroy him and then they go fight the monster-I-refuse-to-talk-about.
Scorpius runs away. The volcano is about to blow. There is lots of dramatic music and fire and falling down. Leo refuses to give up. But they can't make it and force demorph and still try. So Dramatic Magna Defender MONOLOGUES AND IT IS BRILLIANT AND OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO. I love him so much I can even deal with seeing Tiny Child die AGAIN. Which is triggery, by the way, so that should tell you just how much I love this storyline that I'm willing to risk watching it.
Magna Defender sees the spirit of his Tiny Child and he convinces him to be the hero. Because to Tiny Child, his father always was and always will be the warrior hero. With pretty flowers to save his father's soul. AND OH MY HEART. So Magna Defender pulls himself together, picks up the pretty soul-saving flowers his Spirit Tiny Child dropped for him, and DRAMATICALLY STUMBLES HIS WAY TO THE TOP OF THE VOLCANO. And saves the day. Because he is the most dramatic ever and it's wonderful. Leo tries to stop him, but he puts them in a bubble and does it anyway. I LOVE THIS GUY SO FREAKING MUCH, YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA. He only makes it because Spirit Tiny Child appears and takes his hand, and together they go the rest of the way, until he goes into the volcano and stops it erupting. With his life. It is AMAZING.
Leo assures them he's not gone, that he'll live forever, and the temperature stabilizes. And out of the dust comes Mike. Stumbling dramatically. Too bad he doesn't have a cape. He does have dramatically floppy hair, though, so it's okay.
And there is a hug! Leo runs and hugs him! And they cling to each other and tell them how much they missed them and how they're never going away again and it's all super dramatic and lovely.
3.5 fish. The story was GREAT and I love the Magna Defender arc and it's all so dramatically delightful. Except that it makes no sense. But I love it anyway.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Episode 307 - Shark Attack
I remember nothing about this episode. Although the title sounds like a bad SyFy original movie. (Hey, when IS the bad JDF original movie One Warrior thing coming out? I'm still waiting for that.)
So Treacheron is moping around in prison, when the Shark brothers show up to rescue him. They tell him that Trakeena set him up (DUH. I mean, I love her, but she is very obvious with her scheming.)
Trakeena shows up to taunt him, and he tells her that he is loyal to Scorpius and he would like to prove his loyalty. He gives her a map to give to Scorpius that he says will prove his loyalty. (Um, why does he still have a map on him? Really?) Trakeena, of course, is all "mwahaha, I will go find the gauntlet that this map leads to myself."
Treacheron then escapes, and we cue the themesong. Why is it such an earworm?
For some reason this map leads to stuff buried on Terra Venture? Trakeena is all "this shiny thing is mine" and then Treacheron shows up and tells her that the goblet is worthless, and then it disintegrates. When did Treacheron have time to plant the goblet there? Why would he plant it on Terra Venture? When did he draw the map? How does this plan make any sense?
Treacheron and Trakeena taunt each other, and then Treacheron destroys a bunch of stingwingers. Treacheron is about to fight Trakeena when the Rangers show up, and there's a fight scene, and Trakeena runs away, with Treacheron chasing after her. Except Leo keeps getting in his way, because Leo is great. The Shark Brothers leave the other Rangers alone to continue to chase after Trakeena, except she runs into the Magna Defender. We get another flashback to the Magna Defender's son, and he says that he will kill Scorpius's only child in revenge for Scorpius doing that to him. But then Magna Defender appears to have a crisis of conscience and we hear Mike's voice telling him not to give into vengeance. Leo hears it as well, and he totally gets beaten up. Trakeena escapes, and the villains all run off.
Treacheron then is all "will prove my loyalty by destroying the Rangers" and we find out that they can't activate the fish without all of them together.
Leo, meanwhile, is all shirtless in the hospital and I approve so hard. He is pretty. The others all run off to the Forest Dome to fight the Shark Brothers (who really don't look like Sharks.) Also, their grammar is horrible. I hate it that they're all "You'se Guys!" The Rangers find out that the Lights won't work, and then we get a fight scene where the Rangers are not doing well.
Leo is still in the medbay being all beaten up prettily, and then Mike starts talking to him again. He has a vision of Mike and his lovely floppy hair, and ghost!Mike tells him that his friends are being beaten up. Leo wakes up and is still pretty and shirtless and he leaves the infirmary. Alpha is like "DAMN IT, WILL SOMEONE PUT THOSE REDS ON A LEASH."
Treacheron is all "end of the Rangers" and then Leo shows up. The others are all "Yeah, we knew you would get here!" except they're the ones who told him to stay in the hospital in the first place. Kendrix shows some concern, but he insists he's fine.
They summon the fish, and I swear the music sounds like Return to Oz. Treacheron is all "I will destroy them all, starting with the red" Treacheron keeps going on about his honor, and there's some more fighting. I wonder what the other Rangers are doing during this. Standing around and talking? Gossiping about how great Leo looked without his shirt on? Wondering where Leo got his random fire powers from? Swapping cookie recipes? Wondering how Leo is fighting so well when he was in the hospital five minutes ago? Anyway, then Leo breaks Treacheron's sword. Treacheron goes on about how he hates decency, but the man is obsessed with honor. Leo then destroys Treacheron, and we should probably create a Dragon Death tag or something.
The Shark Brothers then grow to get their revenge and they summon the fugly zords. The Zords also get a Fish power-up. The monster is quickly destroyed.
Trakeena is practicing her fighting. I love that she's trying to better herself. For some version of better, anyway. She is determined to be a warrior, and she decides that she needs a trainer to make her rule the universe. Girl has ambition! I approve so hard.
Back on Terra Venture, Leo and Maya discuss how they think Mike and his floppy hair are still alive.
Fish: Five. Just. This season. I can't even.
(Hey Mark, please note that I did NOT end this recap with "and then they have an orgy." BUT THEY STILL COULD.)
So Treacheron is moping around in prison, when the Shark brothers show up to rescue him. They tell him that Trakeena set him up (DUH. I mean, I love her, but she is very obvious with her scheming.)
Trakeena shows up to taunt him, and he tells her that he is loyal to Scorpius and he would like to prove his loyalty. He gives her a map to give to Scorpius that he says will prove his loyalty. (Um, why does he still have a map on him? Really?) Trakeena, of course, is all "mwahaha, I will go find the gauntlet that this map leads to myself."
Treacheron then escapes, and we cue the themesong. Why is it such an earworm?
For some reason this map leads to stuff buried on Terra Venture? Trakeena is all "this shiny thing is mine" and then Treacheron shows up and tells her that the goblet is worthless, and then it disintegrates. When did Treacheron have time to plant the goblet there? Why would he plant it on Terra Venture? When did he draw the map? How does this plan make any sense?
Treacheron and Trakeena taunt each other, and then Treacheron destroys a bunch of stingwingers. Treacheron is about to fight Trakeena when the Rangers show up, and there's a fight scene, and Trakeena runs away, with Treacheron chasing after her. Except Leo keeps getting in his way, because Leo is great. The Shark Brothers leave the other Rangers alone to continue to chase after Trakeena, except she runs into the Magna Defender. We get another flashback to the Magna Defender's son, and he says that he will kill Scorpius's only child in revenge for Scorpius doing that to him. But then Magna Defender appears to have a crisis of conscience and we hear Mike's voice telling him not to give into vengeance. Leo hears it as well, and he totally gets beaten up. Trakeena escapes, and the villains all run off.
Treacheron then is all "will prove my loyalty by destroying the Rangers" and we find out that they can't activate the fish without all of them together.
Leo, meanwhile, is all shirtless in the hospital and I approve so hard. He is pretty. The others all run off to the Forest Dome to fight the Shark Brothers (who really don't look like Sharks.) Also, their grammar is horrible. I hate it that they're all "You'se Guys!" The Rangers find out that the Lights won't work, and then we get a fight scene where the Rangers are not doing well.
Leo is still in the medbay being all beaten up prettily, and then Mike starts talking to him again. He has a vision of Mike and his lovely floppy hair, and ghost!Mike tells him that his friends are being beaten up. Leo wakes up and is still pretty and shirtless and he leaves the infirmary. Alpha is like "DAMN IT, WILL SOMEONE PUT THOSE REDS ON A LEASH."
Treacheron is all "end of the Rangers" and then Leo shows up. The others are all "Yeah, we knew you would get here!" except they're the ones who told him to stay in the hospital in the first place. Kendrix shows some concern, but he insists he's fine.
They summon the fish, and I swear the music sounds like Return to Oz. Treacheron is all "I will destroy them all, starting with the red" Treacheron keeps going on about his honor, and there's some more fighting. I wonder what the other Rangers are doing during this. Standing around and talking? Gossiping about how great Leo looked without his shirt on? Wondering where Leo got his random fire powers from? Swapping cookie recipes? Wondering how Leo is fighting so well when he was in the hospital five minutes ago? Anyway, then Leo breaks Treacheron's sword. Treacheron goes on about how he hates decency, but the man is obsessed with honor. Leo then destroys Treacheron, and we should probably create a Dragon Death tag or something.
The Shark Brothers then grow to get their revenge and they summon the fugly zords. The Zords also get a Fish power-up. The monster is quickly destroyed.
Trakeena is practicing her fighting. I love that she's trying to better herself. For some version of better, anyway. She is determined to be a warrior, and she decides that she needs a trainer to make her rule the universe. Girl has ambition! I approve so hard.
Back on Terra Venture, Leo and Maya discuss how they think Mike and his floppy hair are still alive.
Fish: Five. Just. This season. I can't even.
(Hey Mark, please note that I did NOT end this recap with "and then they have an orgy." BUT THEY STILL COULD.)
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