Previously - COLLARS AND FORCED TO FIGHT EACH OTHER. Oh, and there's a new villain and some possessed evil zords, and I spent a while raging at Queenriley about how to handle special collections and generally had a librarian freakout about THAT IS NOT HOW YOU HANDLE RARE ITEMS, KENDRIX. I have a lot of feelings about it, okay?
Anyway, so there's some villain stuff with being a new general and the evil zords, and could we go back to Damon and Kai being collared and forced to fight each other? I'm just saying, this is pretty relevant to my interests.
Meanwhile, the Rangers are brainstorming about why they can't get the Zords to fight. They... are idiots. It is pretty obvious. Anyway, because Damon is the smartest, he has a plan. And Leo is all "So, we should blow shit up." Oh, Leo. Of course that is your plan. You are such a red.
Meanwhile, Kendrix is going to research. Come join my fictional researcher/librarian favorites list, Kendrix! Although take a class on archives, okay?
Maya is trying to reason with the Fugazords, but they ignore her, and the evil Zords start destroying the colony. The boys show up on their bikes, while Mike and his floppy hair are running around command. Kendrix continues to stare at the book. The boys get ambushed and Damon is all "you two go blow shit up, I will fight all the mooks."
Kendrix sends Mike to go help out while she continues to research, and this is why the teams usually do better when they have a tech! Clearly Billy should show up and be all "let me run everything because I am great at this." But really, I just want more Billy in everything, so. (He should hook up with Kendrix. They could be adorable geeks together!)
Kai blasts more monsters and he is injured, so it is up to Leo to go blow stuff up by himself. The fug zords are just standing there, staring at the evil zords. Meanwhile, Leo nearly gets ambushed, but Kendrix and Mike show up at the last minute, leaving him to drive off.
Meanwhile, Kendrix has FINALLY figured out that the evil zords are galactabeasts, because the fish must have finally stopped interfering with her thought processes. She knows she needs to stop them. Leo is about to drive his bike into the evil Zords to make it explode, but Kendrix throws herself into his path. She explains how the Zords are clearly under a spell and instead a plan is formed to take the evil remote control away from Deviot.
Deviot exposits some more about how he captured the Zords and brainwashed them and we get some more backstory from whatever happened 3000 years ago. Deviot teleports out, and we get some fun fighting as the Rangers try to get the remote away from this week's monster. There's a dramatic pushing the monster off the roof, and seriously, this monster looks like Swamp Thing. Leo finally gets the remote, but the monster destroys it.
The Rangers summon the fish of Orion, and then the monster grows. Of course, their Zords are busy fighting the other Zords, so we have a problem. They get the Zords to stop fighting and form the Megazords. I am not sure why we can see a sun setting, since they are ON A SPACE SHIP.
I also don't know why we can see the moon rising. Anyway, the Rangers are all "Remember who you aaaaaaaaaaaaaare" which is a thing I love. They keep yelling at them to remember that they're friends, and somehow that magically gets to them, and they turn into the nice versions of themselves! Now they have ALL the Zords, so the fight now consists of the new Zords showing off before they destroy the monster.
Deviot has a sad, because he wants to enter the cocoon. He then immediately decides what he should do is destroy Scorpius. I do love a scheming villain - go hang out with Darkonda, Deviot!
Anyway, the Zords have a sad, and we find out that they've gone 14 light years, but they couldn't get back to Earth even if they wanted to? So the most they could go is 27 light years? Although I am impressed that they managed to go 14 light years in 20 episodes! They've got a pretty great FTL drive!
Fish: 3.5! Boys, blowing stuff up might not always be the greatest plan.
Fic we want: LOOK, I know it is last episode, but I am just saying - someone should really write me some dubcon under a spell, Damon/Kai fic. JUST SAYING.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Episode 312- The Lost Galactabeasts Part 1
Uh... lost galactabeasts? Just the name of this episode sets me on edge for the quality of episode I'm about to see.
So we start out with a tugboat tugging a ship while both hover just above the ground. Okay? I can't tell anything about it. Then there is some bad guy stuff that is boring. Something about fearsome zords and promotions and I don't particularly care.
Then this show remembers that it's supposed to be a scientific mission! The scientists are examining the book Leo brought back from the derelict ship from the best episode ever. Kendrix sees what she thinks are Galactabeasts and then Maya is talking to the actual beasts. Damon is trying to fix Kai's borken car and Kai is frustrated because he has dinner on. Luckily Damon is SUPER AWESOME and fixed the car. He tries to be all "SEE HOW AWESOME I AM?" but Kai is in too much of a hurry to listen. Poor Damon. I would listen to your techno-mechanical babble!
Then there is a fight with wants-to-be-promoted-villain. It is boring and interrupted their bickering, so I am less than pleased. But then there are injuries! And kidnapping! This suddenly got WAY better. The boys wake up with collars and wrist shackles on some desolate planet. The collars are electronic and cause lots of pain and force them to fight each other. It's GREAT. Of course, the fighting is only to power Deviot's evil zords, but whatever. They are forced to attempt to kill each other and neither wants to. I really like this plot.
Kendrix is totally working late trying to figure this thing out with the torn page and the Galactabeasts (and she has NO IDEA how to handle old books). She is definitely a scientist because she won't stop until she figures it out. I really appreciate that this show made a FEMALE scientist! She is so awesome. She does find a piece of the page and has probably solved the puzzle, but she hides it from Maya when Maya comes in all "Do you KNOW what time it is?" because Maya luffs her.
Maya knows about the other three beasts. Because she is conveniently psychic. Leo then comes home to what he says smells great, except then he realizes dinner is burnt. Shouldn't that mean it smells bad? I've never had burnt, ruined food smell GOOD before. It takes them awhile to realize Kai has gone missing, and Damon as well.
Back on the planet, that looks suspiciously like Saturn when they show the orbit shot but is covered in rocks on the ground shots (NO NO NO NOT HOW IT WORKS), Damon and Kai are trying really hard to NOT hurt each other. Damon almost has the upper hand but he manages to throw his sword into the device controlling the collars. They tear them off dramatically and run away. Luckily Leo and the others figured things out in time, because Damon and Kai are exhausted from all the trying-not-to-kill-each-other they were forced to do.
The show then remembers Mike exists and we get really bad footage of him as the Magna Defender (not nearly dramatic enough for my liking) joining the fight. Then they get Shiny Toys of Orion and go after Wants a Promotion guy. The fight gives him the energy he needs and he calls forth his evil zords. They look halfway decent! Then the fug zords are called out and fight. Mike suffers Tommy Syndrome and grows three sizes that day. He joins with Torozord and then everything shuts down and the Megazord won't fight the evil zords. There are lots of men wearing plastic suits hitting each other and falling down a lot. Deviot laughs deviously and says the rangers are helpless as kittens in a tree which... dude doesn't know cats. Kittens in a tree? Not helpless. Terrified and likely to claw the shit out of you when you try to get them down? Yes. That is not helpless, though.
The zords leave and Deviot goes back and says "There was my super special resume. See, I'm a badass. I get to be second in command now, right?"
Back in the labs, Kendrix and Kai are being all sciency. Kai is failing at translating, but Kendrix is determined. Then we get a To Be Continued.
2.5 fish. Surprisingly low for a Lost Galaxy episode!
So we start out with a tugboat tugging a ship while both hover just above the ground. Okay? I can't tell anything about it. Then there is some bad guy stuff that is boring. Something about fearsome zords and promotions and I don't particularly care.
Then this show remembers that it's supposed to be a scientific mission! The scientists are examining the book Leo brought back from the derelict ship from the best episode ever. Kendrix sees what she thinks are Galactabeasts and then Maya is talking to the actual beasts. Damon is trying to fix Kai's borken car and Kai is frustrated because he has dinner on. Luckily Damon is SUPER AWESOME and fixed the car. He tries to be all "SEE HOW AWESOME I AM?" but Kai is in too much of a hurry to listen. Poor Damon. I would listen to your techno-mechanical babble!
Then there is a fight with wants-to-be-promoted-villain. It is boring and interrupted their bickering, so I am less than pleased. But then there are injuries! And kidnapping! This suddenly got WAY better. The boys wake up with collars and wrist shackles on some desolate planet. The collars are electronic and cause lots of pain and force them to fight each other. It's GREAT. Of course, the fighting is only to power Deviot's evil zords, but whatever. They are forced to attempt to kill each other and neither wants to. I really like this plot.
Kendrix is totally working late trying to figure this thing out with the torn page and the Galactabeasts (and she has NO IDEA how to handle old books). She is definitely a scientist because she won't stop until she figures it out. I really appreciate that this show made a FEMALE scientist! She is so awesome. She does find a piece of the page and has probably solved the puzzle, but she hides it from Maya when Maya comes in all "Do you KNOW what time it is?" because Maya luffs her.
Maya knows about the other three beasts. Because she is conveniently psychic. Leo then comes home to what he says smells great, except then he realizes dinner is burnt. Shouldn't that mean it smells bad? I've never had burnt, ruined food smell GOOD before. It takes them awhile to realize Kai has gone missing, and Damon as well.
Back on the planet, that looks suspiciously like Saturn when they show the orbit shot but is covered in rocks on the ground shots (NO NO NO NOT HOW IT WORKS), Damon and Kai are trying really hard to NOT hurt each other. Damon almost has the upper hand but he manages to throw his sword into the device controlling the collars. They tear them off dramatically and run away. Luckily Leo and the others figured things out in time, because Damon and Kai are exhausted from all the trying-not-to-kill-each-other they were forced to do.
The show then remembers Mike exists and we get really bad footage of him as the Magna Defender (not nearly dramatic enough for my liking) joining the fight. Then they get Shiny Toys of Orion and go after Wants a Promotion guy. The fight gives him the energy he needs and he calls forth his evil zords. They look halfway decent! Then the fug zords are called out and fight. Mike suffers Tommy Syndrome and grows three sizes that day. He joins with Torozord and then everything shuts down and the Megazord won't fight the evil zords. There are lots of men wearing plastic suits hitting each other and falling down a lot. Deviot laughs deviously and says the rangers are helpless as kittens in a tree which... dude doesn't know cats. Kittens in a tree? Not helpless. Terrified and likely to claw the shit out of you when you try to get them down? Yes. That is not helpless, though.
The zords leave and Deviot goes back and says "There was my super special resume. See, I'm a badass. I get to be second in command now, right?"
Back in the labs, Kendrix and Kai are being all sciency. Kai is failing at translating, but Kendrix is determined. Then we get a To Be Continued.
2.5 fish. Surprisingly low for a Lost Galaxy episode!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
So happy 3 year anniversary of Ranger Recaps, guys! It's been a heck of a ride so far. I'm looking forward to the next five or so years! In celebration of making it three years on this blog, we're doing something a little different. For this recap, we watched the first episode of Saban's VR Troopers.
I haven't watched this show since it aired. And now I remember why. Technology really doesn't work that way. It doesn't now, it didn't then, and I don't think it ever will or could. That pretty much sums up the episode. It's Tron meets Power Rangers, minus the coolness of Power Rangers and the super awesome subtle messages of Tron (for the record, I LOVE Tron, one of my favourite movies... did the technology storyline WAY better). It even has the Daddy-Stuck-In-The-Computer Angsty-Son thing, only done very very poorly. Oh, and JB is really super hot. That's about all I got out of this show.
In keeping with the chatlog theme, here's what we talked about during this episode.
TSB: This themesong is SUCH an earworm
QR: oh the theme song
TSB: also, Ryan Steele? STILL HOT
QR: really?
Oh look! We start off with Daddy Angst!
TSB: HE HAS SO MUCH
QR: He does.
He... is not really my type, actually. I don't find him exceptionally attractive.
Although, DOG! IN A DOJO!
TSB: I just approve of all the sparring
I am glad that this didn't end up a JDF vehicle, though!
QR: this is something all Saban's shows should have more of
there. HE is so my type
TSB: JB IS ALSO HOT
QR: THIS WHOLE CAST IS PRETTY
oh the fashion!!!!
TSB: YESSSSSSSSSSS
AHAHA WOODY
One day
I will convince someone to write me the fic where Kaitlyn hangs out with Lois Lane
and reporter!Kimberly
QR: she should!
that fic needs to exist
How old are these guys supposed to be?
TSB: college, I think
QR: nice bikes for college kids
TSB: it's never really explained
QR: piddly little protesters
I actually kind of like that skirt...
ARMS
Why is JB not showing his arms?
TSB: That... is not how demolition works, really
hi Ryan's arms
QR: poor iguana
they don't like being held like that
TSB: I love Zitkor and his ridiculous iguana
Speaking of things that don't work that way, VIRTUAL REALITY
QR: that... is not how virtual reality works
hah
OMG LOOK AT THE COMPUTER
TSB: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY? COMPUTERS
QR: shhhhhh
OH THE DRAMA
NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS OMG
TSB: NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENES
SENSE EVEN
Although I love Grimlord's design
QR: yes!
This is like Tron, only without the super clever subtle messages
it's like they tried to make Tron into Power Rangers, and it really failed horribly
TSB: I've never figured out how the monsters cross back and forth
like, I thought they were confined to virtual reality, mostly?
is virtual reality supposed to be an alternate dimension?
or?
QR: I have no idea
TSB: And who thought the dog was a good idea?
Also, who thought those SHORTS were a good idea, KAITLYN?
QR: the dog is clearly smarter than the rest of them
TSB: I approve of Ryan's hair
I just need to point that out
QR: ha
TSB: wait, if they had to cross the bridge, how did they find the gateway?
QR: portal or gateway? IT"S A BIG TRIANGLE
TSB: How has nobody else noticed the portal?
QR: It looks nothing like a portal or a gateway
TSB: WHY WOULD YOU WALK INTO A BIG TRIANGLE THING
QR: maybe part of a Stargate, but not a whole gate
WITH A DISEMBODIED VOICE
TSB: .... I want the Stargate AU
QR: the blinky lights! This is clearly scientifically advanced because there are LOTS OF BLINKY LIGHTS
TSB: Really, a guy in a computer is talking to you, and "WHERE'S MY DAD" is the first question?
QR: THIS IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS
TSB: my first question would be "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
Is this supposed to be the internet? Or something?
QR: this is... I don't know what this is supposed to be
TSB: if he's trying to break through the barrier, HOW IS HE ALREADY SENDING THINGS THROUGH?
And how did they know there would be 2 friends?
Those suits? Still the ugliest
QR: this show makes no sense
TSB: nope
but Ryan has great hair
it is floppy
QR: and JB is super hot
TSB: Yes
I really want one of those necklaces
QR: hahaha
TSB: they're pretty!
Man, he's a worse mentor than Zordon
QR: you'll know everything if you just know the morphing call!
he sucks
THIS IS RIDICULOUS
TSB: You know, when I was a kid, I didn't always notice the repeat footage in PR
But I REALLY noticed it in VR Troopers
QR: I rarely did
half the time I still don't, honestly
they were far less careful with this show, I think.
TSB: well, they were also combining 2 shows into 1
QR: were they really?
TSB: they did a much better job with Beetleborgs
yep!
QR: I was never as big into VR Troopers as I was with Power Rangers
my things were Power Rangers and Mystic Knights
TSB: Ryan came from a show with a solo hero, and JB and Kaitlyn were hero and sidekick, I think?
QR: wow
TSB: that's why they always split up
QR: I see
OMG THE COMPUTERS
It goes to show how boring that fight was if we spent the whole time talking about the origination shows...
oh no, cliffhanger!
TSB: Oh no!
QR: I'm sure he'll be fine
I haven't watched this show since it aired. And now I remember why. Technology really doesn't work that way. It doesn't now, it didn't then, and I don't think it ever will or could. That pretty much sums up the episode. It's Tron meets Power Rangers, minus the coolness of Power Rangers and the super awesome subtle messages of Tron (for the record, I LOVE Tron, one of my favourite movies... did the technology storyline WAY better). It even has the Daddy-Stuck-In-The-Computer Angsty-Son thing, only done very very poorly. Oh, and JB is really super hot. That's about all I got out of this show.
In keeping with the chatlog theme, here's what we talked about during this episode.
TSB: This themesong is SUCH an earworm
QR: oh the theme song
TSB: also, Ryan Steele? STILL HOT
QR: really?
Oh look! We start off with Daddy Angst!
TSB: HE HAS SO MUCH
QR: He does.
He... is not really my type, actually. I don't find him exceptionally attractive.
Although, DOG! IN A DOJO!
TSB: I just approve of all the sparring
I am glad that this didn't end up a JDF vehicle, though!
QR: this is something all Saban's shows should have more of
there. HE is so my type
TSB: JB IS ALSO HOT
QR: THIS WHOLE CAST IS PRETTY
oh the fashion!!!!
TSB: YESSSSSSSSSSS
AHAHA WOODY
One day
I will convince someone to write me the fic where Kaitlyn hangs out with Lois Lane
and reporter!Kimberly
QR: she should!
that fic needs to exist
How old are these guys supposed to be?
TSB: college, I think
QR: nice bikes for college kids
TSB: it's never really explained
QR: piddly little protesters
I actually kind of like that skirt...
ARMS
Why is JB not showing his arms?
TSB: That... is not how demolition works, really
hi Ryan's arms
QR: poor iguana
they don't like being held like that
TSB: I love Zitkor and his ridiculous iguana
Speaking of things that don't work that way, VIRTUAL REALITY
QR: that... is not how virtual reality works
hah
OMG LOOK AT THE COMPUTER
TSB: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY? COMPUTERS
QR: shhhhhh
OH THE DRAMA
NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS OMG
TSB: NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENES
SENSE EVEN
Although I love Grimlord's design
QR: yes!
This is like Tron, only without the super clever subtle messages
it's like they tried to make Tron into Power Rangers, and it really failed horribly
TSB: I've never figured out how the monsters cross back and forth
like, I thought they were confined to virtual reality, mostly?
is virtual reality supposed to be an alternate dimension?
or?
QR: I have no idea
TSB: And who thought the dog was a good idea?
Also, who thought those SHORTS were a good idea, KAITLYN?
QR: the dog is clearly smarter than the rest of them
TSB: I approve of Ryan's hair
I just need to point that out
QR: ha
TSB: wait, if they had to cross the bridge, how did they find the gateway?
QR: portal or gateway? IT"S A BIG TRIANGLE
TSB: How has nobody else noticed the portal?
QR: It looks nothing like a portal or a gateway
TSB: WHY WOULD YOU WALK INTO A BIG TRIANGLE THING
QR: maybe part of a Stargate, but not a whole gate
WITH A DISEMBODIED VOICE
TSB: .... I want the Stargate AU
QR: the blinky lights! This is clearly scientifically advanced because there are LOTS OF BLINKY LIGHTS
TSB: Really, a guy in a computer is talking to you, and "WHERE'S MY DAD" is the first question?
QR: THIS IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS
TSB: my first question would be "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"
Is this supposed to be the internet? Or something?
QR: this is... I don't know what this is supposed to be
TSB: if he's trying to break through the barrier, HOW IS HE ALREADY SENDING THINGS THROUGH?
And how did they know there would be 2 friends?
Those suits? Still the ugliest
QR: this show makes no sense
TSB: nope
but Ryan has great hair
it is floppy
QR: and JB is super hot
TSB: Yes
I really want one of those necklaces
QR: hahaha
TSB: they're pretty!
Man, he's a worse mentor than Zordon
QR: you'll know everything if you just know the morphing call!
he sucks
THIS IS RIDICULOUS
TSB: You know, when I was a kid, I didn't always notice the repeat footage in PR
But I REALLY noticed it in VR Troopers
QR: I rarely did
half the time I still don't, honestly
they were far less careful with this show, I think.
TSB: well, they were also combining 2 shows into 1
QR: were they really?
TSB: they did a much better job with Beetleborgs
yep!
QR: I was never as big into VR Troopers as I was with Power Rangers
my things were Power Rangers and Mystic Knights
TSB: Ryan came from a show with a solo hero, and JB and Kaitlyn were hero and sidekick, I think?
QR: wow
TSB: that's why they always split up
QR: I see
OMG THE COMPUTERS
It goes to show how boring that fight was if we spent the whole time talking about the origination shows...
oh no, cliffhanger!
TSB: Oh no!
QR: I'm sure he'll be fine
Anniversary Recap 1 - Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger Episode 1
Three years ago today, and I decided that we should start recapping Power Rangers. We honestly didn't think we would finish the first season. But now, we have recapped 311 episodes, and we're midway through season SEVEN. Only 400 episodes and counting to go!
So today, we bring you something different.
The first episode of the 35th super sentai, Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger. (Which will hopefully be adapted in 2013? PLEASE????)
Since it hasn't aired in the U.S. yet, we'll place this behind a cut. You get two recaps with this - first, an actual recap, and then our chat log.
So, we open up on a GIANT INVASION OF EARTH. Epic fight is epic, okay? And 34 freaking teams are there. There are really not enough words to do this thing justice, so I'm just going to link you to the clip. Each team gets to show off, and I just... my love of this fight can't even be explained. And if you've been reading for a while, you know I usually don't care about fight scenes. BUT THIS. Anyway, we watch the 34 teams use their powers to defeat the invading Zangyack, but of course, evil never entirely goes away, and they eventually come back, except this time it doesn't look like there are any sentai to stop them.
Introducing, our crew of pirates!
Captain Marvelous: He who lives up to his name and has a great coat
Joe: the secretly sad inside first mate
Luka: Thief and badass
Doc: Needs hugs, fixes things, secretly awesome
Ahim: Is Batman. Also, a princess.
We find out that they're searching for the greatest treasure in the universe, which is apparently on Earth. On their way, they get attacked by the Zangyack advance fleet, and we get a great battle, which includes them cutting a ship in half. Also, the CGI is pretty damn impressive.
Oh, and the villains are all amazing. They don't do a ton in this episode, but they will. And we find out that the invasion fleet is being run by the emperor's son, and I'm just busy flailing about things that will happen later, because I have SO MANY FEELINGS about this season. Look, I have as many feelings about Gokaiger as I do about Always a Chance. FEELINGS.
The Pirates all land on Earth, and they and their awesome bullhorn start interrogating the people, who claim to know nothing about the treasure, which makes all the pirates sad inside. Marv forces Luka to sell one of her rings, and she is not happy about it, but it gives them a ton of money. Poor Doc is sad, because he wants to go out for a nice meal, but instead Marv decides that they should go eat some cheap curry rice in a place that has something to do with Sun Vulcan, but I still haven't watched that season, so I'm not really sure! I hope in the adaptation its at the youth center. Just when Marv is about to get his curry, the shop gets all blown up, and he has a sad.
They go outside to discover that Earth is being invaded, and the pirates all continue to have a sad about it, because they clearly have seen this happen before. But they don't do anything about it until the monster of the week is threatening some tiny children, and that is just not acceptable. They get to do a dramatic entrance with their awesome slow-mo walk and badass coats, and then they morph and we get some AMAZING weapons work (weapons switching, showing off their individual fighting styles) and then we get to see them use the powers of other teams.
BECAUSE THIS IS GREAT.
The first thing they use is Goranger, which was the first sentai, and I swear people have explained the football and trash compactor thing to me repeatedly, so let me see if I have this right. The thing is a pun? The football attack is supposed to be what they fear most, and the Gormin is a pun on trash, so it turns into a garbage truck and takes out the trash? Or something? Whatever. I am sure it will be an MMPR thing when it is adapted. And the Gorangers have great capes.
Then we get Shinkenger (Samurai!) and Magiranger (Mystic Force!) and with that we get our first genderswap, and it is all pretty great. The Gokaigers use the FINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE to destroy the monster, and everything is amazing.
Tiny children are all "thank you for saving us!" but Marv claims that he only did it because he didn't get to eat his curry rice and he was in a bad mood. The Gokaigers are all SO GREAT and I have ALL THE FEELINGS.
BEST EVER.
QR: I love how dramatic it is right off the bat.
OMG LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS
TSB: Seriously, this is how you start a season. Shit blowing up, invasion, and ALL THE FUCKING RANGERS
also, the design for the Gormin is great
SERIOUSLY, LEGENDARY WAR FOR A REASON. LIKE
QR: totally
TSB: I have watched this fight probably a dozen times or so?
it never gets old
QR: that's because it's epicly awesome
TSB: I remember the first time I watched it I was going "REV, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS TEAM. AND NOW THIS TEAM. AND HI THERE PEOPLE I RECOGNIZE"
QR: I love the bug eyes the best
TSB: :D
QR: SERIOUSLY, LEADER OF ALLLLLLLL THE RANGERS
TSB: Akaranger is great
I still haven't figured out the timeline for this
HI NAVI
QR: AND NOW SPACE PIRATES
TSB: SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE PIRATES
QR: timeline? SHHHHHH. Timelines don't exist for this show
TSB: And Navi's "hey listen! Hey!" So great
Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuka
QR: JOE'S HAIR
TSB: I have so many feelings about all of them
SO MANY FEELINGS
QR: DOC'S RIDICULOUS WARDROBE
TSB: THE COATS
QR: LUKA BEING ALL "SO SHINY"
TSB: I want Navi to hook up with Circuit
QR: HA
TSB: Also, that is an impressive fleet. :D
QR: Marv and his SUPER AMAZING FLUFFY HAIR
TSB: That's what it means to be a pirate <333333333333333
And I love the themesong
QR: ME TOO
I should stop all capsing, yeah?
TSB: Why would you do that?
QR: I just love this show so freaking much
TSB: I have yet to just yell FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS for ten lines or so
QR: that is true
I totally expect that
TSB: Let's go let's gokaiger!
QR: Can they just take that theme song and make it the theme song for the US version when they adapt it? I love it so.
TSB: I wish
QR: SPACE CANNONS
TSB: STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP
and then they fucking CUT THE SHIP IN HALF. It would be better if they did it with a sword hat
but
QR: Also, spaceships that look like sea-faring ships? TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE. It's not like you need to worry about aerodynamics in space.
TSB: I WILL TAKE IT
QR: SWORD HAT
TSB: I am still really impressed by the CGI
QR: mee to
me too even
and it all just folds up! Like a pocket.
TSB: I am going to go so broke buying all the toys
Marv's boots <3 they are almost as great as his coat
QR: haha, anchors away right in the middle of a building and THEY SO DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
TSB: I JUST LOVE THAT HIS NAME IS CAPTAIN MARVELOUS
LIKE
THAT IS JUST PERFECT
QR: His coat is almost as great as Joe's hair, so it all works.
TSB: and the bullhorn is great too
Ahim, you and your super polite self, keep on accidentally insulting people <3
QR: Ahim is so sweet! She's all "Lowly person, I will speak to you so sweetly you'll like me anyway. Now I can have allllll your treasure, right?"
TSB: She is great
QR: She is AMAZING
TSB: LUKA <3
She just needs to top Doc forever
QR: DOC'S SUSPENDERS ARE HANGING DOWN. How did I never notice this before?
Honey, EVERYONE needs to top Doc forever.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her ring <3
EXCEPT GAI. DOC TOPS GAI
QR: Okay, I will accept that.
Except sometimes when Doc lets Gai top. Because it makes him happy.
TSB: I love all the villains
Oh, Walz Gil, please continue throwing hissy fits forever
QR: I like that there is no easy fix for them either
TSB: Luuuuuuuuuka <3
QR: Marv is all "piddly amount, but whatever". Way to show disinterest over A FUCKTON OF MONEY
Doc is all about the food.
TSB: Doc just wants people to treat him right
QR: who can blame him?
TSB: Now I want curry
QR: HE'S ADORABLE AND THE BEST HOUSEWIFE EVER AND HE DESERVES RESPECT
mmmmcurry
dude, you don't interrupt Marv's lunch.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her money. Poor Luka
And Marv! I just. I love how clearly you see all of their personalities in this first episode
QR: yet they're not really pushed to the extreme either
this is how a show is made!
PM also, MAGNETS!
they just drop down to Earth. On magnets.
people dying!
sad but at least somewhat realistic
Do not threaten Tiny Children!
TSB: They all have so many feelings
QR: FEEEEEEELLLLIIIINNNGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSS
TSB: CREEPY MONSTER IS STILL CREEPY
QR: YES
Marv won't stand for this!
TSB: MARV, YOU ARE THE BEST
That is how you do a dramatic entrance. With the badass coats
QR: THEY ARE SO BADASS
and the fluffy hair
TSB: and the slow determined walk
Just
yes
QR: Ahim is so adorably polite
TSB: WHEN WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, WE WRECK IT
Because that's what it means to be a pirate
YESSSSSS
And I love the morphs. And the costumes. And the ridiculous poses
QR: YES
TSB: Especially Doc
Because
QR: AND THE SWORDS
TSB: Ahahahaha
QR: he totally feels himself up
yeah
I like Joe's because he's all "My feelings are too much to bear, so I must rest my forehead in my hand while I silently suffer."
he's EmoTastic
TSB: Switching weapons! \o/
QR: SO GREAT
TSB: GOOOOOOOOOOOORANGER
QR: and the change!!!!!!!!!
TSB: Oh man, this hurricane thing
Japan loves its puns
QR: it's ridiculous
TSB: it makes more sense after I had it explained to me
QR: is it still ridiculous?
TSB: yes
QR: haha, okay, good
TSB: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKENGER
NEEDS SWORD HATS
MAAAAAAAAGIRANGER
QR: Everything needs a sword hat
TSB: and our first gender swap! I really want to know what Chip and Maddy would think :D
QR: they would probably love it
Chip would be totally excited! He's all for girl power.
TSB: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE
TINY CHILDREN THANKING THEM
QR: SO CUTE TINY CHILD
TSB: Marv is like "pfft"
QR: Marv is all "yeah, whatever"
TSB: YOU WILL GET YOUR CURRY RICE ONE DAY, MARVELOUS
<3 <3 <3
QR: HAH
TSB: BEST EXCUSE
QR: LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH
TSB: Ahim and Doc are so proud of them
QR: They are so adorable
TSB: AND NOW WE GET A SENTAIRAP :D
QR: IT IS AMAZING
TSB: I am so proud of myself for knowing all the team names in order now
LET'S GO PIRATES
QR: you should be! That's quite a feat.
So today, we bring you something different.
The first episode of the 35th super sentai, Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger. (Which will hopefully be adapted in 2013? PLEASE????)
Since it hasn't aired in the U.S. yet, we'll place this behind a cut. You get two recaps with this - first, an actual recap, and then our chat log.
Introducing, our crew of pirates!
Captain Marvelous: He who lives up to his name and has a great coat
Joe: the secretly sad inside first mate
Luka: Thief and badass
Doc: Needs hugs, fixes things, secretly awesome
Ahim: Is Batman. Also, a princess.
We find out that they're searching for the greatest treasure in the universe, which is apparently on Earth. On their way, they get attacked by the Zangyack advance fleet, and we get a great battle, which includes them cutting a ship in half. Also, the CGI is pretty damn impressive.
Oh, and the villains are all amazing. They don't do a ton in this episode, but they will. And we find out that the invasion fleet is being run by the emperor's son, and I'm just busy flailing about things that will happen later, because I have SO MANY FEELINGS about this season. Look, I have as many feelings about Gokaiger as I do about Always a Chance. FEELINGS.
The Pirates all land on Earth, and they and their awesome bullhorn start interrogating the people, who claim to know nothing about the treasure, which makes all the pirates sad inside. Marv forces Luka to sell one of her rings, and she is not happy about it, but it gives them a ton of money. Poor Doc is sad, because he wants to go out for a nice meal, but instead Marv decides that they should go eat some cheap curry rice in a place that has something to do with Sun Vulcan, but I still haven't watched that season, so I'm not really sure! I hope in the adaptation its at the youth center. Just when Marv is about to get his curry, the shop gets all blown up, and he has a sad.
They go outside to discover that Earth is being invaded, and the pirates all continue to have a sad about it, because they clearly have seen this happen before. But they don't do anything about it until the monster of the week is threatening some tiny children, and that is just not acceptable. They get to do a dramatic entrance with their awesome slow-mo walk and badass coats, and then they morph and we get some AMAZING weapons work (weapons switching, showing off their individual fighting styles) and then we get to see them use the powers of other teams.
BECAUSE THIS IS GREAT.
The first thing they use is Goranger, which was the first sentai, and I swear people have explained the football and trash compactor thing to me repeatedly, so let me see if I have this right. The thing is a pun? The football attack is supposed to be what they fear most, and the Gormin is a pun on trash, so it turns into a garbage truck and takes out the trash? Or something? Whatever. I am sure it will be an MMPR thing when it is adapted. And the Gorangers have great capes.
Then we get Shinkenger (Samurai!) and Magiranger (Mystic Force!) and with that we get our first genderswap, and it is all pretty great. The Gokaigers use the FINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE to destroy the monster, and everything is amazing.
Tiny children are all "thank you for saving us!" but Marv claims that he only did it because he didn't get to eat his curry rice and he was in a bad mood. The Gokaigers are all SO GREAT and I have ALL THE FEELINGS.
BEST EVER.
OMG LOTS OF EXPLOSIONS
TSB: Seriously, this is how you start a season. Shit blowing up, invasion, and ALL THE FUCKING RANGERS
also, the design for the Gormin is great
SERIOUSLY, LEGENDARY WAR FOR A REASON. LIKE
QR: totally
TSB: I have watched this fight probably a dozen times or so?
it never gets old
QR: that's because it's epicly awesome
TSB: I remember the first time I watched it I was going "REV, TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS TEAM. AND NOW THIS TEAM. AND HI THERE PEOPLE I RECOGNIZE"
QR: I love the bug eyes the best
TSB: :D
QR: SERIOUSLY, LEADER OF ALLLLLLLL THE RANGERS
TSB: Akaranger is great
I still haven't figured out the timeline for this
HI NAVI
QR: AND NOW SPACE PIRATES
TSB: SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE PIRATES
QR: timeline? SHHHHHH. Timelines don't exist for this show
TSB: And Navi's "hey listen! Hey!" So great
Luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuka
QR: JOE'S HAIR
TSB: I have so many feelings about all of them
SO MANY FEELINGS
QR: DOC'S RIDICULOUS WARDROBE
TSB: THE COATS
QR: LUKA BEING ALL "SO SHINY"
TSB: I want Navi to hook up with Circuit
QR: HA
TSB: Also, that is an impressive fleet. :D
QR: Marv and his SUPER AMAZING FLUFFY HAIR
TSB: That's what it means to be a pirate <333333333333333
And I love the themesong
QR: ME TOO
I should stop all capsing, yeah?
TSB: Why would you do that?
QR: I just love this show so freaking much
TSB: I have yet to just yell FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS for ten lines or so
QR: that is true
I totally expect that
TSB: Let's go let's gokaiger!
QR: Can they just take that theme song and make it the theme song for the US version when they adapt it? I love it so.
TSB: I wish
QR: SPACE CANNONS
TSB: STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP
and then they fucking CUT THE SHIP IN HALF. It would be better if they did it with a sword hat
but
QR: Also, spaceships that look like sea-faring ships? TOTALLY PLAUSIBLE. It's not like you need to worry about aerodynamics in space.
TSB: I WILL TAKE IT
QR: SWORD HAT
TSB: I am still really impressed by the CGI
QR: mee to
me too even
and it all just folds up! Like a pocket.
TSB: I am going to go so broke buying all the toys
Marv's boots <3 they are almost as great as his coat
QR: haha, anchors away right in the middle of a building and THEY SO DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
TSB: I JUST LOVE THAT HIS NAME IS CAPTAIN MARVELOUS
LIKE
THAT IS JUST PERFECT
QR: His coat is almost as great as Joe's hair, so it all works.
TSB: and the bullhorn is great too
Ahim, you and your super polite self, keep on accidentally insulting people <3
QR: Ahim is so sweet! She's all "Lowly person, I will speak to you so sweetly you'll like me anyway. Now I can have allllll your treasure, right?"
TSB: She is great
QR: She is AMAZING
TSB: LUKA <3
She just needs to top Doc forever
QR: DOC'S SUSPENDERS ARE HANGING DOWN. How did I never notice this before?
Honey, EVERYONE needs to top Doc forever.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her ring <3
EXCEPT GAI. DOC TOPS GAI
QR: Okay, I will accept that.
Except sometimes when Doc lets Gai top. Because it makes him happy.
TSB: I love all the villains
Oh, Walz Gil, please continue throwing hissy fits forever
QR: I like that there is no easy fix for them either
TSB: Luuuuuuuuuka <3
QR: Marv is all "piddly amount, but whatever". Way to show disinterest over A FUCKTON OF MONEY
Doc is all about the food.
TSB: Doc just wants people to treat him right
QR: who can blame him?
TSB: Now I want curry
QR: HE'S ADORABLE AND THE BEST HOUSEWIFE EVER AND HE DESERVES RESPECT
mmmmcurry
dude, you don't interrupt Marv's lunch.
TSB: Luka is so upset about her money. Poor Luka
And Marv! I just. I love how clearly you see all of their personalities in this first episode
QR: yet they're not really pushed to the extreme either
this is how a show is made!
PM also, MAGNETS!
they just drop down to Earth. On magnets.
people dying!
sad but at least somewhat realistic
Do not threaten Tiny Children!
TSB: They all have so many feelings
QR: FEEEEEEELLLLIIIINNNGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSS
TSB: CREEPY MONSTER IS STILL CREEPY
QR: YES
Marv won't stand for this!
TSB: MARV, YOU ARE THE BEST
That is how you do a dramatic entrance. With the badass coats
QR: THEY ARE SO BADASS
and the fluffy hair
TSB: and the slow determined walk
Just
yes
QR: Ahim is so adorably polite
TSB: WHEN WE DON'T LIKE SOMETHING, WE WRECK IT
Because that's what it means to be a pirate
YESSSSSS
And I love the morphs. And the costumes. And the ridiculous poses
QR: YES
TSB: Especially Doc
Because
QR: AND THE SWORDS
TSB: Ahahahaha
QR: he totally feels himself up
yeah
I like Joe's because he's all "My feelings are too much to bear, so I must rest my forehead in my hand while I silently suffer."
he's EmoTastic
TSB: Switching weapons! \o/
QR: SO GREAT
TSB: GOOOOOOOOOOOORANGER
QR: and the change!!!!!!!!!
TSB: Oh man, this hurricane thing
Japan loves its puns
QR: it's ridiculous
TSB: it makes more sense after I had it explained to me
QR: is it still ridiculous?
TSB: yes
QR: haha, okay, good
TSB: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKENGER
NEEDS SWORD HATS
MAAAAAAAAGIRANGER
QR: Everything needs a sword hat
TSB: and our first gender swap! I really want to know what Chip and Maddy would think :D
QR: they would probably love it
Chip would be totally excited! He's all for girl power.
TSB: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIINAL WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE
TINY CHILDREN THANKING THEM
QR: SO CUTE TINY CHILD
TSB: Marv is like "pfft"
QR: Marv is all "yeah, whatever"
TSB: YOU WILL GET YOUR CURRY RICE ONE DAY, MARVELOUS
<3 <3 <3
QR: HAH
TSB: BEST EXCUSE
QR: LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH
TSB: Ahim and Doc are so proud of them
QR: They are so adorable
TSB: AND NOW WE GET A SENTAIRAP :D
QR: IT IS AMAZING
TSB: I am so proud of myself for knowing all the team names in order now
LET'S GO PIRATES
QR: you should be! That's quite a feat.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Episode 311- The Rescue Mission
I am steadfastly refusing to acknowledge the last episode even existed (because otherwise I feel dirty and wrong). It didn't happen. It wasn't there. Instead, I downed an entire glass of wine in 15 minutes. Probably not the best life choice, but it got me through that-which-shall-not-be-named.
So I get the not-really-power-rangers episode of power rangers.
There is a distress call! It's all static-y! Somebody somewhere is under attack! Commander Stanton is trying to figure out where they are because he is so going to help. Hey, it's like the start of all my favourite sci-fi movies!
(in the opening, Leo rips his shirt so beautifully... I really want to see that again, kthanks show)
So Kai tracks down the origination of the signal and the Commander and Mike take it to the upper decision making people. They have to decide if they should divert course to go help or continue on to the colony and ignore them. Mike is all about helping, because helping is second nature and they may be in trouble some day too and they wouldn't want to be ignored. I like Mike. He is a wise man.
He also gets to lead the mission! Because he is awesome, although not nearly dramatically swishy enough. He wants Leo to go with and finds him playing with a group of Tiny Children, which is utterly adorable. They board the ship which appears to be dead in space. Poor ship (is it wrong that the rescue mission ship looks like a fish and the first thing I thought was "OMG OUR SCALE IS CANON IN THIS SHOW TOO!"?).
There is video monitoring and tracking and things are covered in webs and OMG IT IS THE BEST SCI-FI HORROR MOVIE EVER! WHO WILL DIE FIRST? THIS IS THE GREATEST! I know, I know, the first guy to go will be the guy who steps in weird green goo. Or maybe not die, because this is Power Rangers. But they do find a dead crew member. And doors being eaten by the green goo.
This leads them to the bridge, where the distress call is broadcasting on repeat. The captain is long since dead, unfortunately. He was clinging tenaciously to a book of some sort so they take it back with them. Meanwhile, Kai spots movement that isn't their crew. It's rapidly approaching and all they can do is watch in horror while this otherworldly thing goes after their rescue crew. And the radio signal breaks up! THIS IS DELIGHTFUL! The THING got Jasper. The rest of the crew starts to freak out, as you do when you watch some unknown thing run away with your buddy.
Mike makes the executive decision to continue with the rescue mission, despite all the crew being long since dead (I guess he's going to find Jasper?). They trawl through the bowels of the ship, you guys! THE BOWELS OF THE SHIP!!!! It is here they find the unknown creature. It's clearly alien (duh) and it's attacking them with claws and things are chaotic and wires are torn and people go missing and IT CLIMBS ON THE CEILING GUYS! It wants to eat Leo. I can't blame it. I do, too.
They find the missing crew wrapped in cocoons and apparently being host to something or being stored for later food? It's AWESOME.
Kai is distraught because he can't get a signal on his boyfriend. Luckily Kendrix is brilliant and has an idea. She, Kai, and Maya morph and go start getting people off the ship. Leo and Mike have to buy some time to get the injured off the ship so they go after the unknown creature. They distract it and there is running and more ceiling running. But then they fire their guns and shoot it, poor thing, and somehow blow up a bunch of stuff. The creature kind of looks like a slightly overweight Terrian from Earth 2...
Leo and Mike continue to run away and find an airlock, that is jammed, so they blast it open with guns and step aside and somehow manage to avoid being sucked out into open space. Luckily the rescue ship shows up and they jump across... y'know, through open space without holding their breath or freezing or IMPLODING. Science does not work this way. Battlestar Galactica did this bit better (and they failed at a lot of things on that show).
Mike almost makes it but alien guy grabs his foot while Leo holds his hand and refuses to let go. Mike tries to make him let go, but Leo won't, not this time. It is touching brotherly love. He pulls Mike in and the ship blows up but everybody is safe and they go home all in one piece. Good job guys.
3 fish (because space really really really does NOT work even close to that). This episode is like the best of the wraith from Stargate Atlantis meets Alien meets Firefly meets Event Horizon meets Star Trek meets (yes, I had to include it) Starship Troopers and and and! THIS WAS THE BEST EPISODE OF POWER RANGERS I HAVE EVER SEEN.
So I get the not-really-power-rangers episode of power rangers.
There is a distress call! It's all static-y! Somebody somewhere is under attack! Commander Stanton is trying to figure out where they are because he is so going to help. Hey, it's like the start of all my favourite sci-fi movies!
(in the opening, Leo rips his shirt so beautifully... I really want to see that again, kthanks show)
So Kai tracks down the origination of the signal and the Commander and Mike take it to the upper decision making people. They have to decide if they should divert course to go help or continue on to the colony and ignore them. Mike is all about helping, because helping is second nature and they may be in trouble some day too and they wouldn't want to be ignored. I like Mike. He is a wise man.
He also gets to lead the mission! Because he is awesome, although not nearly dramatically swishy enough. He wants Leo to go with and finds him playing with a group of Tiny Children, which is utterly adorable. They board the ship which appears to be dead in space. Poor ship (is it wrong that the rescue mission ship looks like a fish and the first thing I thought was "OMG OUR SCALE IS CANON IN THIS SHOW TOO!"?).
There is video monitoring and tracking and things are covered in webs and OMG IT IS THE BEST SCI-FI HORROR MOVIE EVER! WHO WILL DIE FIRST? THIS IS THE GREATEST! I know, I know, the first guy to go will be the guy who steps in weird green goo. Or maybe not die, because this is Power Rangers. But they do find a dead crew member. And doors being eaten by the green goo.
This leads them to the bridge, where the distress call is broadcasting on repeat. The captain is long since dead, unfortunately. He was clinging tenaciously to a book of some sort so they take it back with them. Meanwhile, Kai spots movement that isn't their crew. It's rapidly approaching and all they can do is watch in horror while this otherworldly thing goes after their rescue crew. And the radio signal breaks up! THIS IS DELIGHTFUL! The THING got Jasper. The rest of the crew starts to freak out, as you do when you watch some unknown thing run away with your buddy.
Mike makes the executive decision to continue with the rescue mission, despite all the crew being long since dead (I guess he's going to find Jasper?). They trawl through the bowels of the ship, you guys! THE BOWELS OF THE SHIP!!!! It is here they find the unknown creature. It's clearly alien (duh) and it's attacking them with claws and things are chaotic and wires are torn and people go missing and IT CLIMBS ON THE CEILING GUYS! It wants to eat Leo. I can't blame it. I do, too.
They find the missing crew wrapped in cocoons and apparently being host to something or being stored for later food? It's AWESOME.
Kai is distraught because he can't get a signal on his boyfriend. Luckily Kendrix is brilliant and has an idea. She, Kai, and Maya morph and go start getting people off the ship. Leo and Mike have to buy some time to get the injured off the ship so they go after the unknown creature. They distract it and there is running and more ceiling running. But then they fire their guns and shoot it, poor thing, and somehow blow up a bunch of stuff. The creature kind of looks like a slightly overweight Terrian from Earth 2...
Leo and Mike continue to run away and find an airlock, that is jammed, so they blast it open with guns and step aside and somehow manage to avoid being sucked out into open space. Luckily the rescue ship shows up and they jump across... y'know, through open space without holding their breath or freezing or IMPLODING. Science does not work this way. Battlestar Galactica did this bit better (and they failed at a lot of things on that show).
Mike almost makes it but alien guy grabs his foot while Leo holds his hand and refuses to let go. Mike tries to make him let go, but Leo won't, not this time. It is touching brotherly love. He pulls Mike in and the ship blows up but everybody is safe and they go home all in one piece. Good job guys.
3 fish (because space really really really does NOT work even close to that). This episode is like the best of the wraith from Stargate Atlantis meets Alien meets Firefly meets Event Horizon meets Star Trek meets (yes, I had to include it) Starship Troopers and and and! THIS WAS THE BEST EPISODE OF POWER RANGERS I HAVE EVER SEEN.
Episode 310 - Stolen Beauty
I have been incredibly cranky for almost a week now, so I actually requested this episode. Why? Because if I'm going to be annoyed with something, I might as well be annoyed with something that deserves it. In case you can't tell, I do not like this episode. I could do a whole feminism 101 post and talk about the representation of women in media, but I really don't feel like it and you can google it anyway. The point is, I have a lot of feelings about this episode and everything is symbolizes, and I really fucking hate stealing beauty plots as if that is the only thing important about (cis) women. I am also not going to rant about beauty standards and what it is that beauty actually means, and especially whether we're talking about western ideals of beauty and seriously, everything about this is bullshit.
Disclaimer: I am going to try and talk about these things to the best of my ability, but if I screw up and say something ridiculous or offensive, please let me know and I will do my best to fix it.
So. Episode.
We open with Trakeena pulling an evil Queen from Snow White, and the mirror tells her that she's the most beautiful, except for a lot of other girls from Terra Venture, so she immediately orders the monster to steal all the beauty from the women (almost all white, thin and "conventionally attractive") which... makes their skin yellow and purple and turns the beauty into sand? There is really only so many times that I can loudly scream BULLSHIT, right?
The monster goes after some more women, and the Rangers show up to fight him, and I'm honestly spending most of this time ranting angrily because FEELINGS and RAGE. Also, I'm explaining to QR that this isn't a stealing inner beauty thing, this is basically all about physical appearances.
Trakeena is all happy that all the beauty has been stolen, but decides she will go see for herself. She turns herself into another thin white woman, and apparently she's so hot that all the men (because everyone on the station is straight apparently) can't control themselves and lose track of everything but how hot she is and just follow her around and this is SUPER DISTURBING AND WRONG, AND SHOW, WHAT SORT OF MESSAGE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING HERE.
Trakeena sees Mike and goes after him, and we see him in a bar which is apparently run by Bulk and the Professor. (Hey, they exist.) The two of them apparently got fired and now they're running a bar. Trakeena comes in and everyone immediately hits on her, and Mike appears to be the only one unaffected. Bulk gives Trakeena Mike's food, and she promptly puts a potion on it and returns it to him.
She flirts with him really badly, but he's also really bad at it. (Seriously, you live around here? On a space station? Worst ever.) He doesn't eat the burger because he's late to meet the others, but he invites her along. Back on Scorpius's ship, Scorpius is all excited about a cocoon that is being built for Trakeena.
Mike introduces Trakeena to the other rangers, and the boys are all immediately in love with her, but the girls are fine, because apparently there are no LGB people on Terra Venture. The boys are openly discussing how hot Trakeena is and the girls are clearly annoyed.
The monster shows back up, and starts to steal the beauty from the girls, but Trakeena is like "it's me, you idiot" so it only attacks Kendrix and Maya. Mike escorts Trakeena away, while the boys fight. Apparently losing their beauty has also made them unconscious.
Mike says he's escorting Trakeena home, but instead they go buy some drinks, and she spikes his.He drinks it and appears to pass out. The monster shows up and hands Trakeena the sand, but it turns out that Mike had switched the glasses when her back was turned, and the sand magically makes everyone white again.
FUCK THIS EPISODE. There are some serious unfortunate implications here, show. YOU ARE USUALLY BETTER ABOUT SUCH THINGS.
The Rangers all morph and fight. QR and I discuss how drunk we need to get to finish this episode. I'm seriously considering breaking out the vodka. And judging by the sentai footage, this was supposed to be an episode about Kendrix, so I can be cranky about how Kendrix should have had more to do as well. (So, in an episode about female beauty standards, all Kendrix and Maya have had to do are be annoyed with Trakeena and get knocked out. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.) The fugly zords get summoned and they destroy the monster.
Later, Mike does a magic trick, and Damon is really impressed. Because it's all an illusion, like Trakeena's beauty, apparently. WAIT, IS THAT THE MORAL OF THIS STORY? And then the boys are horrified by the girls' beauty regimens.
Show. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE WORDS.
Trakeena doesn't want to get put into the cocoon because she doesn't want to be ugly. Instead, she runs away.
Fish: FIVE. I AM SO PISSED OFF. This is wrong on so many levels, and frankly, incredibly fucking disturbing, and I am going to have some vodka and strike this episode from my personal canon.
Disclaimer: I am going to try and talk about these things to the best of my ability, but if I screw up and say something ridiculous or offensive, please let me know and I will do my best to fix it.
So. Episode.
We open with Trakeena pulling an evil Queen from Snow White, and the mirror tells her that she's the most beautiful, except for a lot of other girls from Terra Venture, so she immediately orders the monster to steal all the beauty from the women (almost all white, thin and "conventionally attractive") which... makes their skin yellow and purple and turns the beauty into sand? There is really only so many times that I can loudly scream BULLSHIT, right?
The monster goes after some more women, and the Rangers show up to fight him, and I'm honestly spending most of this time ranting angrily because FEELINGS and RAGE. Also, I'm explaining to QR that this isn't a stealing inner beauty thing, this is basically all about physical appearances.
Trakeena is all happy that all the beauty has been stolen, but decides she will go see for herself. She turns herself into another thin white woman, and apparently she's so hot that all the men (because everyone on the station is straight apparently) can't control themselves and lose track of everything but how hot she is and just follow her around and this is SUPER DISTURBING AND WRONG, AND SHOW, WHAT SORT OF MESSAGE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVING HERE.
Trakeena sees Mike and goes after him, and we see him in a bar which is apparently run by Bulk and the Professor. (Hey, they exist.) The two of them apparently got fired and now they're running a bar. Trakeena comes in and everyone immediately hits on her, and Mike appears to be the only one unaffected. Bulk gives Trakeena Mike's food, and she promptly puts a potion on it and returns it to him.
She flirts with him really badly, but he's also really bad at it. (Seriously, you live around here? On a space station? Worst ever.) He doesn't eat the burger because he's late to meet the others, but he invites her along. Back on Scorpius's ship, Scorpius is all excited about a cocoon that is being built for Trakeena.
Mike introduces Trakeena to the other rangers, and the boys are all immediately in love with her, but the girls are fine, because apparently there are no LGB people on Terra Venture. The boys are openly discussing how hot Trakeena is and the girls are clearly annoyed.
The monster shows back up, and starts to steal the beauty from the girls, but Trakeena is like "it's me, you idiot" so it only attacks Kendrix and Maya. Mike escorts Trakeena away, while the boys fight. Apparently losing their beauty has also made them unconscious.
Mike says he's escorting Trakeena home, but instead they go buy some drinks, and she spikes his.He drinks it and appears to pass out. The monster shows up and hands Trakeena the sand, but it turns out that Mike had switched the glasses when her back was turned, and the sand magically makes everyone white again.
FUCK THIS EPISODE. There are some serious unfortunate implications here, show. YOU ARE USUALLY BETTER ABOUT SUCH THINGS.
The Rangers all morph and fight. QR and I discuss how drunk we need to get to finish this episode. I'm seriously considering breaking out the vodka. And judging by the sentai footage, this was supposed to be an episode about Kendrix, so I can be cranky about how Kendrix should have had more to do as well. (So, in an episode about female beauty standards, all Kendrix and Maya have had to do are be annoyed with Trakeena and get knocked out. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.) The fugly zords get summoned and they destroy the monster.
Later, Mike does a magic trick, and Damon is really impressed. Because it's all an illusion, like Trakeena's beauty, apparently. WAIT, IS THAT THE MORAL OF THIS STORY? And then the boys are horrified by the girls' beauty regimens.
Show. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE WORDS.
Trakeena doesn't want to get put into the cocoon because she doesn't want to be ugly. Instead, she runs away.
Fish: FIVE. I AM SO PISSED OFF. This is wrong on so many levels, and frankly, incredibly fucking disturbing, and I am going to have some vodka and strike this episode from my personal canon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)