Oh hey! DragonCon is this weekend! If you happen to be at the con, I'll be on the Power Rangers Samurai panel, Friday at 4!
Right, so this episode. Everyone I've spoken to (hey, Mark!) has gone all "UGH, I AM SO SORRY" but... Ashley and Carlos go on a date. I can't hate this episode.
UM, I HAVE MENTIONED I SHIP ASHLEY/CARLOS, RIGHT?
We open in the park, when a taxi pulls up, and a woman in the most hideous outfit ever gets out. Seriously, green overalls, and a pink hat, and watermelon earings? She's Ashley's grandmother, who apparently takes fashion lessons from Claudia Kishi. She has a file with her that apparently contains info on Ashley's future husband.
Did I mention that the grandmother is a HORRIBLE ACTRESS?
Anyway, I don't actually have a problem with matchmaking plots, because.... seriously, most fanficcy trope ever, y/y? And frankly, Ashley's grandma is TOTALLY a Jewish grandmother. Seriously, I know her. I do find it a little creepy that her grandma is talking about kids while Ashley is in high school. (Okay, maybe not a Jewish grandmother - she's not pushing food on her.)
Ashley decides to get out of it by introducing Carlos as her boyfriend, and grandma immediately starts molesting him. She is so creepy.
LOOK, I DON'T EVEN CARE BECAUSE ASHLEY AND CARLOS ARE GOING TO GO ON A DATE AND MY SHIPPER HEART IS DELIGHTED.
Communicators go off, and Ashley and Carlos try to run off, but grandma follows them to ask about drink options. Meanwhile, the other Rangers are getting their butts kicked by a monster who lays really bad eggs. They destroy the monster, but she's laid her eggs all over the city.
Carlos is all "look, we can't just PRETEND forever" and TJ is all "SURE, GET MARRIED." TJ understands.
Carlos tells Ashley's grandmother the truth, and Grandma clearly sees that they are MFEO, so she decides they should go on a first date. The other Rangers think this is HILARIOUS, but to be fair, if someone tried to force me into those shirts, I would agree. They go to an amusement park with the other Rangers spying on them, and grandma constantly calling to interrupt and give bad advice and insist that they hold hands.
Also, she makes them share a milkshake.
LOOK, I AM JUST SAYING, THIS SHOULD END WITH CARLOS POINTING OUT THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO PRETEND BECAUSE HE REALLY DOES LOVE HER, AND THEN THEY MAKE OUT.
Anyway, the date gets interrupted by the bugs hatching and starting to eat the whole city, including BUILDINGS. Ashley's grandma refuses to leave without Ashley, so Ashley leaves with her while the others Morph to take care of the plague of locusts.
The weapons are eaten by the bugs, and clearly the bugs should be hanging out with Pudgy Pig. The bugs all combine into one monster which starts to beat them, so Alpha calls her to hurry up. Ashley calls out at her grandma for smothering her, and a random cop selects Ashley and her grandmother to escort out of the chaos, ignoring all the other people running around. Ashley shoves her grandmother at the cop and heads off to the battle, but grandma is not having it, so she flips the cop and steals his car.
You go, badass grandma!
Ashley is about to get beaten by the monster, when grandma hits him with a cop car. She tries to do it again but has somehow lost control of the car and... I don't even know. This stopped making sense a long time ago.
Grandma is all apologetic about interfering but Ashley tells her that no, she's great, and wonderful and she has a grandma just like her, and she wouldn't want her any other way. Ashley then defeats the monster, which grows after and we get a fight scene or whatever. The bugs try to eat the zord, so the new toy is summoned to shoot the bugs off them. Whatever. They they punch the bugs. The end.
As everyone carries grandma's stuff to the cab, we discover that grandma is now matchmaking for Adelle.
Fish: 4.
Fic we want: GEE, I WONDER IF THERE SHOULD BE ASHLEY/CARLOS OR SOMETHING.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Episode 264- The Barillian Sting
Today on Power Rangers- Carlos is hot. And there's a bug. But mostly, Carlos is hot.
So we start out in a forest that TJ calls "weird". It looks like any other forest they use for Angel Grove, so I don't see what's so weird about it. They're apparently looking for Zordon. Unfortunately, Ecliptor has laid a false distress signal. They're chasing ghosts. Also unfortunately, Ecliptor is interrupted by Darkonda. He wants to get involved in everything. Ecliptor doesn't like that plan. These two really don't like each other.
TJ finally figures out it's a trap. There is a fight with quantrons. At least it's unmorphed? Darkonda releases a bug that looks like a large bit of plastic dancing about on a string. It stings Carlos. TJ and Cassie take him back to the ship. Good thinking, because that was a freaking HUGE bug.
Carlos is then shirtless! MmmmmshirtlessCarlos. Unfortunately, he now has weird patterns running up his arm and across his chest, which are supposed to be his veins showing, but mostly they look like marker. I really don't care about that because he's shirtless. And have I mentioned that Carlos is freaking HAWT???
On Astronema's ship, there is infighting between Darkonda and Ecliptor. Astronema isn't quite sure what to think of this new guy. She is pleased, however, that Darkonda took out Carlos by using a Barillian bug. She is the smartest!
TJ and Andros run around the planet looking for the bug and they run into Darkonda instead. He likes to taunt them. I can't help but like this guy! They chase him on their galaxy gliders through the forest, and he releases the bug on them. Somehow this bug is insanely fast because the GALAXY GLIDERS, y'know, THOSE THINGS THAT TRAVEL LIGHTS YEARS IN MINUTES, can't outrun it. I really don't care about this bit, as I just want more shirtless Carlos.
Andros finally catches it and confirms that the bug is a Barillion bug and Carlos is turning into one. They have to go get an antidote. OH NOES! I'm guessing this is how they procreate? I dunno. Makes no sense. We DO end up with more shirtless Carlos, but unfortunately it's Carlos in bug form. Not nearly as pretty as Human Shirtless Carlos. He escapes. The others stalk the ship trying to find him. Lucky for them, he leaves a slime trail. I do wonder, who's going to clean up all that slime?
They find him and he stings Cassie, leaving what looks like a nipple on her neck. Good job, show! They restrain her with something that clips together with car seatbelt latches. Really? THAT is going to hold her? Uh... okay then. TJ and Andros chute down to the planet to get the antidote. Darkonda confronts them and Andros sends TJ back with the antidote while he fights Darkonda alone. I... still don't really care about this at all. I still want more shirtless Carlos.
Cassie transforms as well and both she and Carlos go after Ashley. They're about to attack when TJ shoots them with the antidote. Good job, TJ! You have impeccable timing. They turn back into themselves and alas, Carlos is now fully clothed and no longer shirtless. I have a sad of Andros proportions.
There is a big morphed fight on the planet. I still don't care. Darkonda makes a big bug and he grows giant and they call out all the toys. They totally win. Duh. Then Andros is broody on the roof of the hospital, remembering his sister in those awful flashbacks with the poor bad-hair-styled children. I'm glad we aren't subjected to too much of that.
3 fish. It was a mediocre episode. And there wasn't nearly enough shirtless Carlos.
So we start out in a forest that TJ calls "weird". It looks like any other forest they use for Angel Grove, so I don't see what's so weird about it. They're apparently looking for Zordon. Unfortunately, Ecliptor has laid a false distress signal. They're chasing ghosts. Also unfortunately, Ecliptor is interrupted by Darkonda. He wants to get involved in everything. Ecliptor doesn't like that plan. These two really don't like each other.
TJ finally figures out it's a trap. There is a fight with quantrons. At least it's unmorphed? Darkonda releases a bug that looks like a large bit of plastic dancing about on a string. It stings Carlos. TJ and Cassie take him back to the ship. Good thinking, because that was a freaking HUGE bug.
Carlos is then shirtless! MmmmmshirtlessCarlos. Unfortunately, he now has weird patterns running up his arm and across his chest, which are supposed to be his veins showing, but mostly they look like marker. I really don't care about that because he's shirtless. And have I mentioned that Carlos is freaking HAWT???
On Astronema's ship, there is infighting between Darkonda and Ecliptor. Astronema isn't quite sure what to think of this new guy. She is pleased, however, that Darkonda took out Carlos by using a Barillian bug. She is the smartest!
TJ and Andros run around the planet looking for the bug and they run into Darkonda instead. He likes to taunt them. I can't help but like this guy! They chase him on their galaxy gliders through the forest, and he releases the bug on them. Somehow this bug is insanely fast because the GALAXY GLIDERS, y'know, THOSE THINGS THAT TRAVEL LIGHTS YEARS IN MINUTES, can't outrun it. I really don't care about this bit, as I just want more shirtless Carlos.
Andros finally catches it and confirms that the bug is a Barillion bug and Carlos is turning into one. They have to go get an antidote. OH NOES! I'm guessing this is how they procreate? I dunno. Makes no sense. We DO end up with more shirtless Carlos, but unfortunately it's Carlos in bug form. Not nearly as pretty as Human Shirtless Carlos. He escapes. The others stalk the ship trying to find him. Lucky for them, he leaves a slime trail. I do wonder, who's going to clean up all that slime?
They find him and he stings Cassie, leaving what looks like a nipple on her neck. Good job, show! They restrain her with something that clips together with car seatbelt latches. Really? THAT is going to hold her? Uh... okay then. TJ and Andros chute down to the planet to get the antidote. Darkonda confronts them and Andros sends TJ back with the antidote while he fights Darkonda alone. I... still don't really care about this at all. I still want more shirtless Carlos.
Cassie transforms as well and both she and Carlos go after Ashley. They're about to attack when TJ shoots them with the antidote. Good job, TJ! You have impeccable timing. They turn back into themselves and alas, Carlos is now fully clothed and no longer shirtless. I have a sad of Andros proportions.
There is a big morphed fight on the planet. I still don't care. Darkonda makes a big bug and he grows giant and they call out all the toys. They totally win. Duh. Then Andros is broody on the roof of the hospital, remembering his sister in those awful flashbacks with the poor bad-hair-styled children. I'm glad we aren't subjected to too much of that.
3 fish. It was a mediocre episode. And there wasn't nearly enough shirtless Carlos.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Episode 262 - The Great Evilyzer
So the professor is creating some new device that will turn people EEEEEEEEEVIL. I don't think that good and evil quite work that way, but I am seriously hoping that I will get evil Rangers out of this. Also, then the terrible trio gets attacked by an evil robot thing, so hey! Points. Ecliptor steals the evilyzer, and laughs evilly.
... So why would someone WANT to build an evilyzer anyway? No, seriously. WHY?
On the bright side, we should get some evil Rangers out of the deal!
Astronema tells Ecliptor to test it on the Rangers (YESSSSSSSSSSS) but she has a bigger plan.
Ashley and Andros are on some planet with really heavy gravity which causes Ashley to fall over. Once they're back on the Galaxy Glider, Ashley and Andros show off for each other, and... that is not how space works. Ashley's glider gets hit by the evilizer and tries to throw her off and AGAIN, THAT IS NOT HOW SPACE WORKS.
Apparently the gliders are programmed to be good. UM. THEY ARE GLIDERS, THEY ARE NOT SENTIENT. THEY DO NOT HAVE GOOD AND EVIL SETTINGS. Although I really wouldn't be surprised if my router was permanently set to evil. So you know. Maybe I could believe this.
CASSIE, YOUR HAIR. Is this a symbol of her going evil? Because HAIR.
The Rangers morph because there's some disturbance in Angel Grove, since there's some monster. They shoot at it, and then it vanishes, only to be met by TWO monsters. And then more monsters. Astronema makes one of them grow, while the others are apparently tough to defeat even while they're small.
Andros summons his new toy and Astronema uses the evilyzer to turn it evil. Look, I don't care about evil Zords, I wanted EVIL RANGERS. HOW DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT THIS WITH NO EVIL RANGERS.
The Delta Megazord starts destroying the city, and man, the space rangers are going to have a lot to explain. They should call Tommy for some tips. Andros decides that the smartest way to fight an evil Zord is to summon the OTHER zord. Andros orders the Delta Megazord to stop being evil, and it looks like it works, but the evil!Zord is smarter then they are and it shoots them a lot. You go, evil!Zord.
They hit the Delta Megazord with some frequency that should jam the evil although it is overheating the Zord. The Delta Megazord heads to space and the Rangers follow it and try to link with it to find out if it's still evil. THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLAN. But for some reason it works.
The combined Megazord beats ALL the monsters by punching them. What were the monsters doing while the two Megazords were fighting? I mean, they should have helped the evil!Zord.
Astronema threatens to destroy Elgar for talking too much, which would have redeemed the episode. Sadly, it doesn't happen. Andros and Ashley find Ashley's EEEEEEEEEVIL glider, which she then fixes. The terrible trio is still running from the evil toy.
Fish: 5! WHAT A WASTED PLOT DEVICE.
Fic we want: NO SERIOUSLY, WHY WERE THEY NOT EVIL?????
... So why would someone WANT to build an evilyzer anyway? No, seriously. WHY?
On the bright side, we should get some evil Rangers out of the deal!
Astronema tells Ecliptor to test it on the Rangers (YESSSSSSSSSSS) but she has a bigger plan.
Ashley and Andros are on some planet with really heavy gravity which causes Ashley to fall over. Once they're back on the Galaxy Glider, Ashley and Andros show off for each other, and... that is not how space works. Ashley's glider gets hit by the evilizer and tries to throw her off and AGAIN, THAT IS NOT HOW SPACE WORKS.
Apparently the gliders are programmed to be good. UM. THEY ARE GLIDERS, THEY ARE NOT SENTIENT. THEY DO NOT HAVE GOOD AND EVIL SETTINGS. Although I really wouldn't be surprised if my router was permanently set to evil. So you know. Maybe I could believe this.
CASSIE, YOUR HAIR. Is this a symbol of her going evil? Because HAIR.
The Rangers morph because there's some disturbance in Angel Grove, since there's some monster. They shoot at it, and then it vanishes, only to be met by TWO monsters. And then more monsters. Astronema makes one of them grow, while the others are apparently tough to defeat even while they're small.
Andros summons his new toy and Astronema uses the evilyzer to turn it evil. Look, I don't care about evil Zords, I wanted EVIL RANGERS. HOW DO WE HAVE AN EPISODE ABOUT THIS WITH NO EVIL RANGERS.
The Delta Megazord starts destroying the city, and man, the space rangers are going to have a lot to explain. They should call Tommy for some tips. Andros decides that the smartest way to fight an evil Zord is to summon the OTHER zord. Andros orders the Delta Megazord to stop being evil, and it looks like it works, but the evil!Zord is smarter then they are and it shoots them a lot. You go, evil!Zord.
They hit the Delta Megazord with some frequency that should jam the evil although it is overheating the Zord. The Delta Megazord heads to space and the Rangers follow it and try to link with it to find out if it's still evil. THAT IS NOT A GOOD PLAN. But for some reason it works.
The combined Megazord beats ALL the monsters by punching them. What were the monsters doing while the two Megazords were fighting? I mean, they should have helped the evil!Zord.
Astronema threatens to destroy Elgar for talking too much, which would have redeemed the episode. Sadly, it doesn't happen. Andros and Ashley find Ashley's EEEEEEEEEVIL glider, which she then fixes. The terrible trio is still running from the evil toy.
Fish: 5! WHAT A WASTED PLOT DEVICE.
Fic we want: NO SERIOUSLY, WHY WERE THEY NOT EVIL?????
Episode 261- The Delta Discovery
Did you know we just hit 100 followers? That's right, 100 of you read our craziness. And not just because you have to, but because you want to! You guys are so awesome! I never thought we'd reach this point. Thank you, all of you, for taking the time to read our recaps. It means a lot!
And hey guys! We get Divatox again! And today I link to Star Wars instead of Star Trek. For a change.
So Divatox has Zordon in his tube thingy and he's being consumed by lava. LAVA IS EATING HIM. It's... special. But we get to see Divatox again so that's all good! The PhantomMenace Ranger is observing. He sends a recorded transmission out. "Help me, Power Rangers. You're my only hope!" Yeah, he's totally Leia.
So the Rangers go to his coordinates, where he has confronted Divatox. But then Astronema comes in and takes Zordon away, sending her goons to attack. The Rangers are all concerned about Zordon but really guys? You met him all of once! We're of the opinion Tommy and Adam kept in touch, because they're totally addicted and couldn't just give up the power, and have spoon fed the new Rangers stories of Zordon and his epic fails.
Meanwhile, Divatox must grovel toMaligore Dark Specter for her job, while Astronema gets all the credit. She runs off in the ship with Zordon. Phantom continues to fight. It's all very dramatic. Or not. Mostly because I don't like Phantom. Ecliptor shows up to take out Phantom (YAY!) but then the Rangers show up and stop him (SAD!). He runs away.
But then there is a crocodile monster thingy in the lake on Earth. It's totally stalking random guys on the beach. This episode is all over the place. The Rangers go back to Earth instead of chasing after Zordon, except Andros has to go get something by himself. Phantom hands him an iPod and Andros goes off on his own. Phantom collapses, badly damaged, with wires and circuitry and stuff hanging out. So... is he a robot? Or is that just his suit? In which case he isn't all that damaged after all.
On Earth there is a random fight with the crocodile monster thing. It molests the boys a little and then grows big and there are zords and WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???? Suddenly there are two crocodile monster things and they decide they need some help. They ought to be able to handle this on their own, but since when has this show been terribly consistent? Oh well.
Somehow Andros has caught up to the Delta Megaship. He was on his GALAXY GLIDER. AND HE CAUGHT UP TO THE SHIP. IN DEEP SPACE. He traveled light years in seconds WHILE ON A SURFBOARD. The lack of even attempting science in this BOTHERS ME.
Andros must insert a tiny cd from the iPod into a slot, but he doesn't know which one and Phantom won't respond. He picks one and there are red flashy lights and it was apparently just scanning it? That... is special. Now the Delta Megaship is his and he takes it to Earth to fight off the two crocodile monster things. It transforms as it enters the atmosphere. And it has a lot of guns. Which is also... special. They totally win. Are we surprised? I didn't think so.
Dark Specter yells at Astronema for failing him. He threatens to crush her in her sleep if she fails again. It's all good. She has a PLAN.
The Rangers head back to where they left Phantom, hoping to help him. He left another communication for them to let them know he's left to follow Dark Specter. Cassie has a sad because her imaginary boyfriend left. She ought to try to focus on a REAL boyfriend who can be PRESENT in her life. Except Phantom won't let her because he totally left her a message all her own, letting her know he's okay and please don't forget him. LET THE GIRL MOVE ON, DUDE.
3 fish. The science fail is strong with this one.
And hey guys! We get Divatox again! And today I link to Star Wars instead of Star Trek. For a change.
So Divatox has Zordon in his tube thingy and he's being consumed by lava. LAVA IS EATING HIM. It's... special. But we get to see Divatox again so that's all good! The Phantom
So the Rangers go to his coordinates, where he has confronted Divatox. But then Astronema comes in and takes Zordon away, sending her goons to attack. The Rangers are all concerned about Zordon but really guys? You met him all of once! We're of the opinion Tommy and Adam kept in touch, because they're totally addicted and couldn't just give up the power, and have spoon fed the new Rangers stories of Zordon and his epic fails.
Meanwhile, Divatox must grovel to
But then there is a crocodile monster thingy in the lake on Earth. It's totally stalking random guys on the beach. This episode is all over the place. The Rangers go back to Earth instead of chasing after Zordon, except Andros has to go get something by himself. Phantom hands him an iPod and Andros goes off on his own. Phantom collapses, badly damaged, with wires and circuitry and stuff hanging out. So... is he a robot? Or is that just his suit? In which case he isn't all that damaged after all.
On Earth there is a random fight with the crocodile monster thing. It molests the boys a little and then grows big and there are zords and WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS???? Suddenly there are two crocodile monster things and they decide they need some help. They ought to be able to handle this on their own, but since when has this show been terribly consistent? Oh well.
Somehow Andros has caught up to the Delta Megaship. He was on his GALAXY GLIDER. AND HE CAUGHT UP TO THE SHIP. IN DEEP SPACE. He traveled light years in seconds WHILE ON A SURFBOARD. The lack of even attempting science in this BOTHERS ME.
Andros must insert a tiny cd from the iPod into a slot, but he doesn't know which one and Phantom won't respond. He picks one and there are red flashy lights and it was apparently just scanning it? That... is special. Now the Delta Megaship is his and he takes it to Earth to fight off the two crocodile monster things. It transforms as it enters the atmosphere. And it has a lot of guns. Which is also... special. They totally win. Are we surprised? I didn't think so.
Dark Specter yells at Astronema for failing him. He threatens to crush her in her sleep if she fails again. It's all good. She has a PLAN.
The Rangers head back to where they left Phantom, hoping to help him. He left another communication for them to let them know he's left to follow Dark Specter. Cassie has a sad because her imaginary boyfriend left. She ought to try to focus on a REAL boyfriend who can be PRESENT in her life. Except Phantom won't let her because he totally left her a message all her own, letting her know he's okay and please don't forget him. LET THE GIRL MOVE ON, DUDE.
3 fish. The science fail is strong with this one.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Episode 260 - The Wasp With a Heart
QR wants me to let everyone know that wasps are evil creatures who should all be destroyed. Considering that bugs in general freak me the hell out, I am TOTALLY OKAY WITH THIS PLAN.
Of course, I also love monsters with a heart of gold episodes, so yay for this!
Still, I'd much rather be talking about alien strippers.
So we open with the wasp prancing around in the flowers and shaking his ass at the camera, when his brother shows up to yell at him for wanting to smell the flowers. He tries to be evil to please his brother.
The professor insists a beehive is an alien pod, even after Skull calls him on it. (QR thinks I should link to My Girl, but I am going to SPARE ALL OF YOU, BECAUSE NO.) Skull starts to yell at the professor when the wasp shows up to skip after them.
Seriously, do bulk and Skull have monster-attraction or something? Cassie is sent to check on the disturbance. The Wasp is REALLY BAD AT THIS, and we get pantsless Bulk, Skull and the Professor.
Cassie fights the stupid wasp, who is like "Why are you fighting me?" and she's all "MONSTER, DUH." He almost manages to beat her, but then his conscience gets the better of him. He doesn't destroy her even when he has the chance, and in exchange, Cassie stops the other Rangers from destroying him.
The wasp dreams about being evil, but he can't hurt an old man. He's very conflicted about this. Ecliptor reminds him that he doesn't have a heart and tells him to attack a birthday party that Cassie is at. Some kid is really upset that Quantrons are letting her balloons go and the wasp feels guilty about it. Cassie gets a pretty nice unmorphed fight, but she's outnumbered by a LOT. The Wasp is told to destroy her, but he can't do it, blasting the Quantrons instead.
Astronema and the Wasp's brother show up and they fight, and Cassie is very concerned for her new wasp boyfriend. First a Phantom, now a wasp - Cassie, honey, TJ is still available. Cassie morphs angrily after glaring daggers at Astronema. Of course, as soon as she morphs, Astronema runs away, and they have to chase after the evil!wasp on their spaceboards while the city gets blown up.
Somehow, Cassie's gun thing is sonar? Or something? She locates it by randomly shooting and then that knocks the evil wasp back to Earth. Evil!Wasp summons bees and this is why I will never be a Ranger, because I would RUN THE HELL AWAY. CREEPY.
Evil!Wasp grows and there's a fight and I got distracted because one of my friends was talking about Amy Jo Johnson's tattoos on flashpoint and also blue rangers, which is WAY more exciting than fight scenes, frankly. The Rangers win.
Cassie bonds with her wasp boyfriend and she tells him that being nice isn't a failure, and he wishes that he was human. The little girl from earlier is still crying, and the wasp starts crying as well. He turns himself into a wasp and flies away, and somehow locates the little girl's balloons. Everyone is sure he'll be good forever, but um, clearly at some point someone will unknowingly KILL HIM.
Because he is a WASP. UGH.
Fish: 2. More wasps then fish this time.
Of course, I also love monsters with a heart of gold episodes, so yay for this!
Still, I'd much rather be talking about alien strippers.
So we open with the wasp prancing around in the flowers and shaking his ass at the camera, when his brother shows up to yell at him for wanting to smell the flowers. He tries to be evil to please his brother.
The professor insists a beehive is an alien pod, even after Skull calls him on it. (QR thinks I should link to My Girl, but I am going to SPARE ALL OF YOU, BECAUSE NO.) Skull starts to yell at the professor when the wasp shows up to skip after them.
Seriously, do bulk and Skull have monster-attraction or something? Cassie is sent to check on the disturbance. The Wasp is REALLY BAD AT THIS, and we get pantsless Bulk, Skull and the Professor.
Cassie fights the stupid wasp, who is like "Why are you fighting me?" and she's all "MONSTER, DUH." He almost manages to beat her, but then his conscience gets the better of him. He doesn't destroy her even when he has the chance, and in exchange, Cassie stops the other Rangers from destroying him.
The wasp dreams about being evil, but he can't hurt an old man. He's very conflicted about this. Ecliptor reminds him that he doesn't have a heart and tells him to attack a birthday party that Cassie is at. Some kid is really upset that Quantrons are letting her balloons go and the wasp feels guilty about it. Cassie gets a pretty nice unmorphed fight, but she's outnumbered by a LOT. The Wasp is told to destroy her, but he can't do it, blasting the Quantrons instead.
Astronema and the Wasp's brother show up and they fight, and Cassie is very concerned for her new wasp boyfriend. First a Phantom, now a wasp - Cassie, honey, TJ is still available. Cassie morphs angrily after glaring daggers at Astronema. Of course, as soon as she morphs, Astronema runs away, and they have to chase after the evil!wasp on their spaceboards while the city gets blown up.
Somehow, Cassie's gun thing is sonar? Or something? She locates it by randomly shooting and then that knocks the evil wasp back to Earth. Evil!Wasp summons bees and this is why I will never be a Ranger, because I would RUN THE HELL AWAY. CREEPY.
Evil!Wasp grows and there's a fight and I got distracted because one of my friends was talking about Amy Jo Johnson's tattoos on flashpoint and also blue rangers, which is WAY more exciting than fight scenes, frankly. The Rangers win.
Cassie bonds with her wasp boyfriend and she tells him that being nice isn't a failure, and he wishes that he was human. The little girl from earlier is still crying, and the wasp starts crying as well. He turns himself into a wasp and flies away, and somehow locates the little girl's balloons. Everyone is sure he'll be good forever, but um, clearly at some point someone will unknowingly KILL HIM.
Because he is a WASP. UGH.
Fish: 2. More wasps then fish this time.
Episode 259- The Craterite Invasion
This whole recap is one big link to Star Trek. Just fair warning.
It's the Boy Who Cried Wolf episode! I wondered when we'd get one of those.
Patrick is a Tiny Child who tells tall tales. He lives in the only apartment complex in all of Angel Grove. This is making me RAAAGGGGGEEEEE. Because Patrick is black and all the white kids we see live in super nice houses. FAIL SHOW. We also never see nor hear mention of a father. FAIL AGAIN SHOW. And his mother clearly works long hours and he's a latchkey kid. FAIL HARDER SHOW, I DARE YOU.
On the MegaShip, the rangers are training! On the holodeck! I love that they train. Good for them, staying on top form! Unfortunately, there is a space wave that causes some major computer malfunctions. It even screws up theholodeck simudeck. The craterites they were training with are suddenly real and can leave the simudeck. They jump off the ship and parachute down to Earth. With big swirly white parachutes. The craterites are fabulously horribly PINK. And I HATE pink. Especially Pepto Pink, which is what these are. Gives me heartburn just watching.
Patrick sees them and hides under his blanket. In the morning his mother has made his lunch and must rush off to work, so neighbor lady will take him to school. At least we're getting to see a parent? She does seem like a good mom, which is two times as awesome as this show usually is.
Patrick gets himself ready and knocks on the door, but neighbor lady doesn't answer. Patrick looks in the window and sees a craterite family. He runs out and everywhere he goes he sees more craterites. He tries to go tell the police officer, who doesn't believe him, because Copper is a craterite too! Patrick is the only one who can see them for what they are apparently. Of course nobody believes him and Tiny Child has a Sad that could rival Andros.
Meanwhile the Professor and Bulk and Skull are trying to track down all the aliens. They are kind of failing. Cassie and Carlos aren't having much more luck even though THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY THEM. Cassie and Carlos try to find out what's wrong with Patrick and His Sad, so they walk him home. What happened to school? He asks if they'll come in, but they have stuff to do, and Carlos reassures him with the Power Rangers looking out for him. Patrick totally doesn't believe him. I DO NOT BLAME YOU, PATRICK.
Ashley finds a construction worker tied up in a van. She calls TJ and Andros and they figure out all the workers are craterites. They are holograms with personality! It's only then they figure out they've all taken human form. YOU THINK? THEY ARE HOLOGRAMS. THEY CAN TAKE ANY FORM THEY WANT. There is a fight and it is boring and we spend most of it talking about how this episode is just an excuse to link to ALL the Star Trek (did you know TOS, TNG, Voyager, and Enterprise are streaming on Netflix? You do now. Now go watch some).
The rangers figure out Patrick really was telling the truth and rushes to his aid. They get him out of the apartment only to be attacked by more craterites. Luckily his mother drives up in their minivan and ushers him inside to drive him to safety. And then, somehow, Andros and Cassie mysteriously end up in a forest. The others manage to save them with some spiral sword thingy. It's supposed to send the craterites back into their holodeck program, but it doesn't work. It just makes them turn into one really big craterite and they have to call the Astro MegaZord. DO NOT ASK. I DO NOT KNOW EITHER. They manage to take it apart like Santa does to Oogie Boogie. However, while Oogie Boogie is made of bugs, the craterites are made of FISH. Entirely of fish. It's the only explanation.
Back at the Surf Spot, Bulk and Skull use the SPACE ALIEN STRIPPER to turn the aliens back into humans. Except all it does is take off their clothes and leave them in their underwear. Everyone laughs. Oh show. SPACE ALIEN STRIPPER! SERIOUSLY SHOW! We want fic of this now... Zhane hires one. And then Andros hires one because it's tradition okay? AND THERE IS LOTS OF STRIPPING AND IT'S FUN.
3.5 fish. Because science doesn't work that way, Pepto Pink is gross, and... giant craterite what the hell???
Fic we want: Space. Alien. STRIPPER. 'Nough said.
It's the Boy Who Cried Wolf episode! I wondered when we'd get one of those.
Patrick is a Tiny Child who tells tall tales. He lives in the only apartment complex in all of Angel Grove. This is making me RAAAGGGGGEEEEE. Because Patrick is black and all the white kids we see live in super nice houses. FAIL SHOW. We also never see nor hear mention of a father. FAIL AGAIN SHOW. And his mother clearly works long hours and he's a latchkey kid. FAIL HARDER SHOW, I DARE YOU.
On the MegaShip, the rangers are training! On the holodeck! I love that they train. Good for them, staying on top form! Unfortunately, there is a space wave that causes some major computer malfunctions. It even screws up the
Patrick sees them and hides under his blanket. In the morning his mother has made his lunch and must rush off to work, so neighbor lady will take him to school. At least we're getting to see a parent? She does seem like a good mom, which is two times as awesome as this show usually is.
Patrick gets himself ready and knocks on the door, but neighbor lady doesn't answer. Patrick looks in the window and sees a craterite family. He runs out and everywhere he goes he sees more craterites. He tries to go tell the police officer, who doesn't believe him, because Copper is a craterite too! Patrick is the only one who can see them for what they are apparently. Of course nobody believes him and Tiny Child has a Sad that could rival Andros.
Meanwhile the Professor and Bulk and Skull are trying to track down all the aliens. They are kind of failing. Cassie and Carlos aren't having much more luck even though THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY THEM. Cassie and Carlos try to find out what's wrong with Patrick and His Sad, so they walk him home. What happened to school? He asks if they'll come in, but they have stuff to do, and Carlos reassures him with the Power Rangers looking out for him. Patrick totally doesn't believe him. I DO NOT BLAME YOU, PATRICK.
Ashley finds a construction worker tied up in a van. She calls TJ and Andros and they figure out all the workers are craterites. They are holograms with personality! It's only then they figure out they've all taken human form. YOU THINK? THEY ARE HOLOGRAMS. THEY CAN TAKE ANY FORM THEY WANT. There is a fight and it is boring and we spend most of it talking about how this episode is just an excuse to link to ALL the Star Trek (did you know TOS, TNG, Voyager, and Enterprise are streaming on Netflix? You do now. Now go watch some).
The rangers figure out Patrick really was telling the truth and rushes to his aid. They get him out of the apartment only to be attacked by more craterites. Luckily his mother drives up in their minivan and ushers him inside to drive him to safety. And then, somehow, Andros and Cassie mysteriously end up in a forest. The others manage to save them with some spiral sword thingy. It's supposed to send the craterites back into their holodeck program, but it doesn't work. It just makes them turn into one really big craterite and they have to call the Astro MegaZord. DO NOT ASK. I DO NOT KNOW EITHER. They manage to take it apart like Santa does to Oogie Boogie. However, while Oogie Boogie is made of bugs, the craterites are made of FISH. Entirely of fish. It's the only explanation.
Back at the Surf Spot, Bulk and Skull use the SPACE ALIEN STRIPPER to turn the aliens back into humans. Except all it does is take off their clothes and leave them in their underwear. Everyone laughs. Oh show. SPACE ALIEN STRIPPER! SERIOUSLY SHOW! We want fic of this now... Zhane hires one. And then Andros hires one because it's tradition okay? AND THERE IS LOTS OF STRIPPING AND IT'S FUN.
3.5 fish. Because science doesn't work that way, Pepto Pink is gross, and... giant craterite what the hell???
Fic we want: Space. Alien. STRIPPER. 'Nough said.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Episode 258 - When Push Comes to Shove
JOHNNY YONG BOSCH HUGGED ME AND EVERYTHING IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.
Oh right, recap. So.
Cassie, your HAIR.
I love that she scrapbooks. Or has a diary. Or whatever. It is very charming, I'll give her that.
Meanwhile, the professor is showing off his new fuel, with which he is going to send Bulk and Skull to find aliens. Look, for the millionth time, ALIENS ATTACK THE CITY EVERY WEEK. Meanwhile, some reporter is causing a panic about the fuel exploding, which of course the professor nearly knocks over, but then BULK SAVES THE WORLD. Astronema is then thinking about knocking over the building that the professor's lab is in. Astronema, bb, I love you, but why not just shoot Bulk so he drops the bottle? (Not that I want her to shoot Bulk! BULK IS AWESOME.)
Ashley and Cassie are discussing their dreams, when Cassie suddenly realizes that she lost her diary, (Ashley tells her to calm down) which contains a picture of her as the pink ranger (and then Ashley tells her IN THAT CASE, DON'T CALM DOWN), and this is where I have a RAGE BLACKOUT. She's bothered by two guys named George and Lenny (REALLY SHOW) who then blackmail Cassie into a date.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.
Lenny does not look comfortable with this whole situation, but WORD OF ADVICE. IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE, BLACKMAILING THEM IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DO IT.
George is really obsessed with talking about how great Lenny is. I am shipping George/Lenny a bit. George is monopolizing the date so Cassie makes him go get her a soda. Cassie is all "I WILL FIX LENNY" which is frankly stupid, because HE BLACKMAILED HER INTO GOING ON THIS DATE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIX A BLACKMAILER. HE IS NOT JUST SOME CHARMING MISUNDERSTOOD AND MISGUIDED GUY. HE BLACKMAILED YOU WITH YOUR DIARY. THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF DOUCHEBAGGINESS.
This episode would be much improved if the "push came to shove" part was Cassie shoving them off a cliff.
Lenny promises to give Cassie her diary back at the end of the date. IF HE WANTED TO BE A DECENT PERSON THEN HE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DIARY BACK WITHOUT MAKING HER GO ON THE DATE AT ALL.
Anyway, the restaurant that they're eating in turns out to be the same building that the Professor's lab is in, so of course Astronema is knocking it over with some elephant monster. Lenny refuses to leave without Cassie, but then he gets knocked out by falling debris.
Carlos and Andros are flirting over chess when they get summoned to fight.
Somehow Cassie and Lenny get locked in with the radioactive plutonium reactor.
Andros summons the new toy to get them. Cassie is about to morph to get out of there, when the Rangers finally show up. The Rangers defeat the monster.
Lenny and George show up, and Lenny says he can speak for himself and offers Cassie back the diary, and Cassie says he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. He says then she wouldn't have gone out with him, and she says all he needed to do was ASK. NO CASSIE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUT WITH EVERYONE WHO ASKS YOU, AND YOU ESPECIALLY DO NOT NEED TO REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR WITH A DATE.
And then she makes Ashley go out with George.
NO. NO NO NO NO NO. YOU ARE A BAD FRIEND. Lenny may have learned not to be an asshat, but GEORGE HAS NOT, AND YOU DO NOT SET UP FRIENDS WITH ASSHOLES. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH BOY TROUBLES.
Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.
Oh right, recap. So.
Cassie, your HAIR.
I love that she scrapbooks. Or has a diary. Or whatever. It is very charming, I'll give her that.
Meanwhile, the professor is showing off his new fuel, with which he is going to send Bulk and Skull to find aliens. Look, for the millionth time, ALIENS ATTACK THE CITY EVERY WEEK. Meanwhile, some reporter is causing a panic about the fuel exploding, which of course the professor nearly knocks over, but then BULK SAVES THE WORLD. Astronema is then thinking about knocking over the building that the professor's lab is in. Astronema, bb, I love you, but why not just shoot Bulk so he drops the bottle? (Not that I want her to shoot Bulk! BULK IS AWESOME.)
Ashley and Cassie are discussing their dreams, when Cassie suddenly realizes that she lost her diary, (Ashley tells her to calm down) which contains a picture of her as the pink ranger (and then Ashley tells her IN THAT CASE, DON'T CALM DOWN), and this is where I have a RAGE BLACKOUT. She's bothered by two guys named George and Lenny (REALLY SHOW) who then blackmail Cassie into a date.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.
Lenny does not look comfortable with this whole situation, but WORD OF ADVICE. IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH SOMEONE, BLACKMAILING THEM IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO DO IT.
George is really obsessed with talking about how great Lenny is. I am shipping George/Lenny a bit. George is monopolizing the date so Cassie makes him go get her a soda. Cassie is all "I WILL FIX LENNY" which is frankly stupid, because HE BLACKMAILED HER INTO GOING ON THIS DATE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIX A BLACKMAILER. HE IS NOT JUST SOME CHARMING MISUNDERSTOOD AND MISGUIDED GUY. HE BLACKMAILED YOU WITH YOUR DIARY. THAT IS THE HEIGHT OF DOUCHEBAGGINESS.
This episode would be much improved if the "push came to shove" part was Cassie shoving them off a cliff.
Lenny promises to give Cassie her diary back at the end of the date. IF HE WANTED TO BE A DECENT PERSON THEN HE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DIARY BACK WITHOUT MAKING HER GO ON THE DATE AT ALL.
Anyway, the restaurant that they're eating in turns out to be the same building that the Professor's lab is in, so of course Astronema is knocking it over with some elephant monster. Lenny refuses to leave without Cassie, but then he gets knocked out by falling debris.
Carlos and Andros are flirting over chess when they get summoned to fight.
Somehow Cassie and Lenny get locked in with the radioactive plutonium reactor.
Andros summons the new toy to get them. Cassie is about to morph to get out of there, when the Rangers finally show up. The Rangers defeat the monster.
Lenny and George show up, and Lenny says he can speak for himself and offers Cassie back the diary, and Cassie says he shouldn't have taken it in the first place. He says then she wouldn't have gone out with him, and she says all he needed to do was ASK. NO CASSIE, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUT WITH EVERYONE WHO ASKS YOU, AND YOU ESPECIALLY DO NOT NEED TO REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR WITH A DATE.
And then she makes Ashley go out with George.
NO. NO NO NO NO NO. YOU ARE A BAD FRIEND. Lenny may have learned not to be an asshat, but GEORGE HAS NOT, AND YOU DO NOT SET UP FRIENDS WITH ASSHOLES. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH BOY TROUBLES.
Fish: FIVE. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.
Episode 257- A Ranger Among Theives
And we're back, ladies and gentlemen!
We start out on theholodeck Simudeck doing some fighting against a holographic monster. Hey look! They actually PRACTICE! AND the kids have to take tests in school. Andros wanders the halls while they go to class. I can't believe they remembered they were actually in school!
At the Surf Spot, a greasy sleazy kid is wandering around taking money out of women's purses. Andros is sitting there trying to eat a banana. A girl, hanging with the sleazy boys, offers him the advice of peeling it first. Let's see... the greasy boy is dressed all in black, the girl is snarky, and the other boy is background scenery. They are defiant and rude. Could they BE any more obvious? Andros shows his mad physics skills by telling them how to play pool.
Outside, they are trying to break into a car. Andros sees them and offers to help them get into their car. We meet Chuck (greasy boy), Suzie (snarky chick), and David (background boy). You can tell they are Bad Seeds because they give Andros bubble gum. What naughty awful kids. Who get an eyeful when Andros jumps out the car, stops a purse thief, gives the old woman her purse back, and refuses a reward. Because Andros is clearly the GOOD GUY. He gets back in the car and tells his new "friends" that he hates thieves. OH ANDROS. Can you BE any more dense? I'm not sure it's possible, but the season is still young...
A monster is doing something at the power plant and Andros must stop him. I totally LOVE the morphing sequence for this season. It just... I just... yeah. There is a small fight I pay very little attention to and then the monster runs away.
It is here that Andros realizes his new friends are the thieves. Oh Andros! I've spent most of this episode saying that. He's so clueless. He's even upset that they tried to be his friends and yet they steal cars. He storms off in a fit of Glorious Emo Sadness and David tries to go after him, but Chuck stops him. Which is a good thing because the monster then attacks and Andros has to jump in, unmorphed, and save his new Bad Guy friends. Chuck is ready to completely abandon him and just runs off. David and Suzie go back to help fight. So apparently we're getting the Misunderstood Bad Guy episode.
Ecliptor confronts Andros. Suddenly he's not at the power plant but out in a field somewhere near power lines. Ecliptor kicks his ass. Because Ecliptor is AMAZING. Lucky for Andros his Good Guy Friends show up and Carlos uses DECA's new weapon to get rid of Ecliptor. Then they have to go fight the big monster. Whom I really don't care about. I think we all know what's going to happen next right?
Chuck is trying to hotwire a red Jeep, but the cops get him first. The Rangers are looking over their test scores and Andros decides to tell Adele about her stolen van (the thieves, of course). She tells him to wait because there are two other people who need to talk to her first. It's David and Suzie, the Misunderstood Bad Guys. They give the van back and she forgives them. They offer to help her clean and she GIVES THEM JOBS. Because she is awesome (although I still miss Ernie *tear*)
3 fish, mostly because Andros is Mr. Oblivious.
We start out on the
At the Surf Spot, a greasy sleazy kid is wandering around taking money out of women's purses. Andros is sitting there trying to eat a banana. A girl, hanging with the sleazy boys, offers him the advice of peeling it first. Let's see... the greasy boy is dressed all in black, the girl is snarky, and the other boy is background scenery. They are defiant and rude. Could they BE any more obvious? Andros shows his mad physics skills by telling them how to play pool.
Outside, they are trying to break into a car. Andros sees them and offers to help them get into their car. We meet Chuck (greasy boy), Suzie (snarky chick), and David (background boy). You can tell they are Bad Seeds because they give Andros bubble gum. What naughty awful kids. Who get an eyeful when Andros jumps out the car, stops a purse thief, gives the old woman her purse back, and refuses a reward. Because Andros is clearly the GOOD GUY. He gets back in the car and tells his new "friends" that he hates thieves. OH ANDROS. Can you BE any more dense? I'm not sure it's possible, but the season is still young...
A monster is doing something at the power plant and Andros must stop him. I totally LOVE the morphing sequence for this season. It just... I just... yeah. There is a small fight I pay very little attention to and then the monster runs away.
It is here that Andros realizes his new friends are the thieves. Oh Andros! I've spent most of this episode saying that. He's so clueless. He's even upset that they tried to be his friends and yet they steal cars. He storms off in a fit of Glorious Emo Sadness and David tries to go after him, but Chuck stops him. Which is a good thing because the monster then attacks and Andros has to jump in, unmorphed, and save his new Bad Guy friends. Chuck is ready to completely abandon him and just runs off. David and Suzie go back to help fight. So apparently we're getting the Misunderstood Bad Guy episode.
Ecliptor confronts Andros. Suddenly he's not at the power plant but out in a field somewhere near power lines. Ecliptor kicks his ass. Because Ecliptor is AMAZING. Lucky for Andros his Good Guy Friends show up and Carlos uses DECA's new weapon to get rid of Ecliptor. Then they have to go fight the big monster. Whom I really don't care about. I think we all know what's going to happen next right?
Chuck is trying to hotwire a red Jeep, but the cops get him first. The Rangers are looking over their test scores and Andros decides to tell Adele about her stolen van (the thieves, of course). She tells him to wait because there are two other people who need to talk to her first. It's David and Suzie, the Misunderstood Bad Guys. They give the van back and she forgives them. They offer to help her clean and she GIVES THEM JOBS. Because she is awesome (although I still miss Ernie *tear*)
3 fish, mostly because Andros is Mr. Oblivious.
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