Episode 64 - The Wanna-Be Ranger

This episode reminds me of why I love this show - it was completely ridiculous but totally awesome. And also it makes me want fanfic. Warning, there are spoilers for RPM in this recap, because Queenriley and I spent about half the episode discussing a ridiculous crossover. Also, this is our first Alpha centric episode! Oh, Alpha. We love you a whole lot, even if you are the whiniest robot ever. Also, please stop trying to be cool. This is only going to lead to Alpha Six, and I cannot deal with that.

Anyway, we open again with the new theme. We like the new theme. However, it just isn't the same without Rita yelling that she's free and it's time to conquer Earth. Plus, teenagers with attitude! We miss that! :(

Anyway, the actual episode starts with a basketball game. Frankly, we're amazed that they got Billy to play. We shouldn't be that surprised, since Billy has already proved he's awesome at basketball but we still think that Billy playing sports is out of character. Besides, he's supposed to sit on the sidelines and then get turned into a punk. Then their game is interrupted when a gorilla puts his hand on Kim's shoulder.

It is not a monster, but Zack in a monkey suit! Honestly, considering they live in Angel Grove and do get turned into monsters a lot, you would think that Zack would know better than to pull a stunt like that, but no. He gives some excuse about entertaining tiny children, which we assume is code for "spending time with Angela in the hopes that she'll think he's adorable and kiss him again." Zack, honey, we really don't think Angela is a furry. Jason tells him to get out of the suit and play some b-ball, and we aren't sure whether to laugh at the 90s slang, make fun of Jason's hair (I think you overdid it on the gel, Jason), make fun of Jason's ridiculously 90s jeans, or be pleased that Jason wants Zack to take off his clothes.

However, their communicators then go off, and the team goes to the Command Center, where Zordon tells them that he will temporarily de-ionize and be depowered. He also says that Alpha will be monitoring things and they should listen for his signal. We're not sure why this is such a big deal, I mean, Zordon Fails half the time anyway. He fades out and then the Rangers all leave, while Alpha starts to monitor things. He notices a little boy is lost in Angel Grove Park, and thinks he should call the Rangers. I love how apparently the Rangers rescue little children. I wonder if they also fetch cats out of trees. Someone should write that. However, he decides instead that it should be "Alpha Ranger to the rescue!" and he teleports out to go rescue the kid.

Alpha Ranger to the rescue is never going to stop being funny to me.

Anyway, to get on with the plot, Zedd decides to take advantage of the situation and create the Primator out of Zack's monkey suit. (I am still sad that monkey suit is not a tux. Zack in a tux would have been hot.)

At the park, Alpha finds the kid, who is named Dillon, and at that point Queenriley and I start plotting ridiculous insane crossover fic where the kid ends up actually being Dillon from RPM. He even looks (a little) like a baby Dillon! He's got the right color hair and eyes anyway! Look, we know that RPM technically takes place way in the future, but there is a way to make it work. And he tries to teach Alpha how to play soccer!

The Primator can apparently turn into any of the Rangers, and we're pleased that it's another evil twin episode. Especially because David Yost does a really good Evil Billy. How awesome would it have been if Billy had been the Evil Green Ranger? Seriously! Also, he's really hot when he's evil.

And evil!Billy says that Alpha is a naughty boy, and I die laughing.

Anyway, when evil!Billy sees himself reflected in Alpha's golden head, he turns back into the monster. But not before trying to make Alpha take him to the Command Center. Alpha activates his self destruct and baby!Dillon takes care of him. Oh, Alpha, you fail so hard.

The monster goes to the Youth Center and turns into Zack, where he tells Kimberly and Trini that Tommy got attacked by putties and is losing his powers and is failing a lot. They believe it, because it is the best excuse ever. Seriously, this monster totally gets Tommy. A++++ show! Also, Trini and Kimberly go right to the park without bothering to try and contact Tommy. They don't believe in communicators. Evil!Zack promises to look for Billy and Jason. I also love how they don't bother to question how Zack knows this - do they think he just left Tommy behind? Or what?

The girls get to the park, and when they don't see anything, they try and contact the guys, who are in Billy's garage with headphones on doing... something. We don't know. However, they can't hear their communicators. Apparently Jason can hear his over the sound of a motor bike but not with the earphones on. Also, I love how this is totally "listening for Alpha's signal". On the bright side, the girls get to fight putties and be awesome.

By the time they finish their fight, the guys have moved back to the Youth Center, and... well, that must have been a long fight. Otherwise, I've got nothing to explain how they moved so quickly. They looked pretty involved in Billy's lab. Just saying.

Kimberly and Trini start to yell at the guys for not being there. Can we say major secret identity fail? They just discuss it in the middle of the Youth Center! Oh, and then they use their communicators to try and contact Alpha. Still in the middle of the Youth Center. Of course, he doesn't answer because he is still lying in the middle of the park with baby!Dillon taking care of him. Longest self destruct sequence ever.

The Ranger teleport to the Command Center (luckily not from the middle of the Youth Center) and Zordon is back, just in time. He tells them about the new monster They figure out that it wasn't really Zack who told Kimberly and Trini to go to the park, and Kim apologizes.

The Rangers go to find the monster, which pretends to be Trini. They can't figure out which Yellow Ranger is the real one, so instead of having Kimberly Billy kiss her, Jason says that both of them should attack him. Because... I don't know. Fish. One Trini says that she can't because they're friends, and the other one attacks him. Gee, I wonder which one is the fake? (On the bright side, at least these evil Rangers have the right color gloves.)

Then the Primator turns into the Red Ranger, and Jason gets really pissed. He's all "No Red Ranger imitations allowed! Even Goldar knew that! Fake!Jason can totally shoot energy from his helmet, but regular Jason can't. At least we've never noticed that.

The Rangers retreat to the Command Center, and Zordon tells them to use a mirror to reveal the fake. Kimberly, of course, is carrying a giant mirror on her. I'm not really sure where she pulled it from because a) it's a fairly big mirror and b) she's morphed. Seriously, where was she carrying it?

Anyway, they teleport back to the fight, and for some reason only half of them are there, even though they all teleported in together. This will never be explained, just assume that they got hit by a fish. Somehow Kimberly's mirror is now blue and has a triceratops on it, we guess because Billy is carrying it. Tommy shows up and is all "this is too hard! We must surrender!" and for some reason Jason thinks that this is the monster (Oh, fine, we know Tommy probably wouldn't just want to give up) and hits him in the face, and then forces him to look in the mirror. Oh, it is a fake. (Also, why would they bother with the mirror once they figured out he's the fake?)

Then the monster grows and we have a long Zord sequence and it is so awkward, and I wish that I didn't know that the monster and the Zord were from different sentai seasons because so awkward.

After they win, the Rangers go to the park, where Billy deactivates the self destruct on Alpha. Longest self destruct ever. Baby!Dillon is all excited to see them, and he promises never to forget them. Sorry, Dillon, there's that whole Venjix thing in your future. Dillon's mom finally shows up. Took long enough. Seriously, her kid was alone for hours.

Back at the Command Center, Alpha is grounded for a few thousand years.


Fish: 4.5 This episode was amazing but it was still filled with fish.

Fic we want: Seriously, that kid totally grows up to be RPM!Dillon, right?

Episode 63- The Mutiny Part 3

Previously on Power Rangers we discover both piranhas in Angel Grove and Zordon plans to profit.

We get the new opening! Trini looks beautiful. Kim looks adorable. Zack has awesome hair. Billy and Jason are just stunningly GORGEOUS. And Tommy's hair makes me laugh like a cruel, heartless evildoer (TSB disagrees and thinks he looks good... to each their own).

So the Zords stopped attacking for no reason. Then they get turned on the rally. So apparently the monster got smart for once and went after civilians.

The Rangers are still waiting on the signal blocker. Billy and Trini might be able to finish if Zordon would stop interrupting them every five seconds to see if they're done. Of course, it's also my theory that they took some time to relieve some of the intense stress by having a serious make-out session (or, y'know, happy fun naked time). Either way, it's taking awhile and Zordon is impatient. Tommy has to stay behind because his powers are failing him again. He tries to be Emo Ranger but fails miserably. Give it up, Tommy. That role is reserved for Adam.

We see Angel Grove through Lord Zedd vision and are DELIGHTED because it is AWESOME. Somehow the monster magics Bulk and Skull's four wheelers so they go crazy, and then the Tyrannosaurus Zord goes all crazy on the drivers at the rally. Evil controls it way better than Jason does because we had no idea the Tyrannosaurus Zord could do so much damage.

Meanwhile, Zedd makes sure his brilliance astounds everybody. Yes, Lord Zedd, it certainly does. Us included. *fangirl-like sigh of dreaminess*

Back at Billy's lab of Evil Simmering Liquids of Evilness (he's an evil genius, I'm telling you), he and Trini finally finish making out the signal blocker. Billy, who had been wearing his glasses during the building of this device, removes them (sad!) and they teleport to the scene of battle. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Did you check the batteries there, Billy? You seem to have a problem with that.

While Billy tries to figure it out, they blast the piranha monster with the awesome power blaster. It takes him out of the game for a few minutes, but the zords are still going after the rally. Meanwhile, Billy discovers he put the battery in upside down. Again. So he fixes it and they disrupt the signal and all is good, except then Zedd is awesome and glowing red and sends the zords into the pit of a volcano. Or rather, down a crack in the ground into molten lava. I have to wonder though, why is Kim's zord having problems? The darn thing flies OUT OF A VOLCANO! It shouldn't be bothered by being thrown into a pit of lava. Ought to feel like home, really.

So Zordon has Alpha work some impossible magic on the morphing grid and takes the old zords from the molten lava so they can be turned into the new zords. Nod and smile, people. It was a big steaming pile of fish for us too.

Is it can be new zords time nao? Why yes, yes it can! The monster grows, we get the new zords, they form an awesome megazord, and then they destroy the fish monster. Woohoo! Zedd gets mad, goes red again, blames everybody around him, and Finster is all pouty and sulking because Zedd wouldn't use one of his monsters instead.

At the Command Center, Jason is pretty and reassures Tommy that they'll always be friends. They somehow see into Rita's dumpster where she's lonely and singing 99 bottles of slime on the wall. Then everybody laughs at Bulk and Skull who are still trapped on out of control four wheelers. *sigh* There goes that bit of character development. Right out the window.

Back at the rally, Billy and Trini covertly use the signal blocking device to stop Bulk and Skull's four wheelers from going crazy. As they run away, Billy cops a feel. They send Tommy and Kim in to make sure Bulk and Skull are okay, which they are, and Tommy acts all impressed that Bulk and Skull met the Power Rangers. They make Bulk and Skull share a four wheeler while Tommy and Kim take the other one, whereupon Kim insists on driving. Good for her. Tommy would probably forget he's driving and try to kick a rock instead of avoid it, crashing the four wheeler by mistake.

They catch up quickly, but at least they didn't come in first in the race.

List time!
3.5 fish. A little ridiculous, but not too bad overall I suppose.

Billy speak: None. Again.

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 62 - The Mutiny - Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Lord Zedd shows up. The Rangers lose control of their Zords. Kimberly has stylish boots.

The episode begins with Rangers realizing that they still have one zord - Tyrannosaurus. So they send that Zord to attack the monster. I'm still not sure why they summoned it anyway since the monster hasn't grown, but who am I to argue with a fish episode? Anyway, Lord Zedd has the fish monster take control of Tyrannosaurus, and everyone flails around yelling that they need Tommy. We get a shot of Tommy's ass, and then we find out that Tommy's powers are being temporarily recharged by Zordon. He then goes to back everyone up, and summons Dragonzord. Because if this monster can take control of one Zord, there's no way they can take control of Tommy's either, right?

Wrong. Dragonzord gets controlled by the fish monster as well. After it was having trouble beating Tyrannosaurus, even though it has previously beaten the Megazord. IDK.

Meanwhile, Zordon is talking to Alpha about how it is a good thing that they anticipated Zedd's return. We're pretty sure that anticipated is actually code for "noticed it was happening and decided to claim they had been preparing for it." He tells Alpha to prepare for phase 2.

Zordon's plan according to us:
phase one: anticipate the worst case scenario
phase two: make new zords
phase three: ???
phase four: PROFIT!

The Rangers teleport back to the Command Center, and Zack sounds like he's about to cry when he says the Rangers are finished. Don't cry, Zack! There are still 16 more seasons to recap! Zordon tells them to follow Alpha, and there's an AMAZING slow motion walk outside, where Alpha shows them their new Zords.

Jason controls the red dragon thunderzord, his power is fierce and true. Trini controls the griffin, swift and accurate. Zack has the lion, courage and strength. Billy's unicorn has mythological powers and wisdom. Kim's firebird is powerful and agile. Tommy doesn't get a new Zord because his powers are failing. These are changed slightly from what their powers signified back in Day of the Dumpster. (Oh, Billy, stuck with a unicorn. We're sure that Kimberly Trini will be able to help you with that problem.)

Of course, for some reason, even though these new Zords were created to battle Zedd, they can't be used until they regain control of the old Zords. Because Billy is more awesome than a computer, he and Trini go to their lab to figure out how to reprogram them.

Bulk and Skull have an argument about which way to go, and then they get attacked by a monster. The only real thing of note there is that Bulk compares his instincts to that of a homing pigeon.

Oh, and the Rangers go and fight the monster, and they're getting their asses kicked while waiting for Billy and Trini to finish. Seriously, nothing much happens in this episode - just a lot of setup for the finale.

Fish: FOUR. I'm sorry, the thing about the needing the old zords is RIDICULOUS.

Billy Speak: "If we build a device that will interfere with Lord Zedd's signal, we should be able to release the Zords."

Episode 61- The Mutiny Part 1

OMG you guys! Guys! You guys! It's season 2! *bounces*

TSB remembers when this episode aired the first time because it aired in prime time and she made her dad tape it for her. I don't remember it airing in prime time, though I'm sure I was allowed to watch it, since I was OLD and didn't have an early bedtime anymore because did I mention that I was OLD? And yes, I'm older than TSB and CAN'T REMEMBER which is sad.

Anyway, we start off the wonderfulness that is season 2 with the original theme song! Aw. We then find the rangers at a motor bike race to raise money for the local Children's Hospital. It's a fundraiser, and it's NOT a martial arts competition! Angel Grove is branching out. TSB covets Kim's boots (I didn't even notice), Zack is wearing a ridiculous outfit, Bulk has the most awesome helmet ever with a rainbow mohawk, and Jason now has a nice silver hoop earring. And Billy isn't wearing his glasses. Billy. Isn't wearing. His GLASSES! They all look over the map of the racetrack.

Meanwhile, Rita is all ready to send down a monster when there is lots of lightning and thunder and shaking. There is a big muscle guy with no skin wearing gold armour in the sky. Why halo thar Lord Zedd! Rita freaks out. Lord Zedd has come to take over because Rita has failed at destroying the Power Rangers. We spend lots of time fangirling and sighing "OH ZEDD". Like, inordinate amounts.

Back in Angel Grove, Principal Caplan is in charge of the race. He reads off some rules, tells them to drive safe, and then waves the flag to start the race. He's also wearing a hideous brown sweatsuit. Whole sweatsuit. As in, sweat shirt with sweat pants. I'm all for sweat pants, so comfy, and sweat shirts, but not worn together... not in public anyway. So the racers all start their engines and take off. Very very slowly. Slowest start to a race ever, yes?

Back on the moon, Rita is flipping out and Zedd is being commanding and Goldar IMMEDIATELY betrays Rita and grovels in front of Lord Zedd. It is awesome. And we fangirlishly sigh "OH ZEDD" some more.

Jason hears some random thunder that NOBODY ELSE can hear and covertly motions for the others to pull off track. They join him on the side of the road and determine Rita is up to something, so they should listen for their communicators. I'm sure the discussion was important and plot moving, but Jason is pretty so I missed a lot of it. And earring! Did I mention the earring? Not like I have an earrings-on-men kink or anything. *whistles innocently*

On the moon, Zedd is present in his Z throne. Goldar comes into the throne room and Zedd remembers him as Goldar, The Groveling One. SO MUCH LOVE FOR ZEDD. Goldar balks at the snake and it turns into Zedd's staff and we spend a few minutes flailing at his awesomeness. Zedd then gives Goldar back that which he once lost. And his wings are back. We don't know how they were lost in the first place, but they're back now! Rita attempts (and fails) to grovel and beg for another chance while Squat and Baboo look on through peepholes.

At the race, Jason's communicator beeps very quietly, but he's special and oh so pretty so of course he hears it. They all join him off road and they go to the Command Center to talk to Zordon. They learn about Lord Zedd and how he's more powerful than Rita and yada yada yada, but mostly I'm distracted by Zack's ridiculous pink outfit and how constipated Jason looks. And Billy. Who is HAWT. Not just hot, not just pretty, not just drop dead gorgeous, he's downright HAWT with his hair all styled and no glasses (though I LOVE glasses too) and fashionable wardrobe. Oh Billy. *dreamy sigh* (though I do admit to missing the geek!Billy who I also thought was hawt and gorgeous and pretty)

Bulk and Skull get distracted by the unusual thunder and crash their bikes. Skull swears it's just a dent, but finds motor oil on a rock and then TASTES IT. EW. So they decide to take off on foot to see if they can finish the race.

On the moon, Zedd introduces us to his most awesome of awesome putties. Z Putties! They have the best intro ever where he just kind of conjures up a few and they, having apparently already met and taken lessons from Tommy, vogue. Rita wants to prove she can "finish the job" but Lord Zedd says no, shrinks her, and puts her back in that space dumpster. He has his putties toss her off the moon and she hurtles into space. Oh Zedd, honey, if only you knew the future. One day you'll want her to "finish the job"... and on a fairly regular basis I'm sure.

Bulk and Skull then stumble upon the rangers abandoned four wheelers. They decide to take some to get to the finish line, but before they can, they're attacked by putties. In actual character development, back at the Command Center, Trini gets very distraught at the fact that Bulk and Skull are in trouble. They are determined to get there BEFORE Bulk and Skull get hurt. Yay character development!

They morph and then teleport to stand in front of Bulk and Skull, allowing them to run away and hide. The putties are a hard fight, however, and Jason and Trini have some issues. Then Tommy and Billy tag team it, but Tommy's power starts to fail (from a putty fight? Really? Okay then) so he kind of collapses. In a true display of highest Bromance, Jason jumps in the line of fire and stops a putty from taking out Tommy. He then discovers their weak point is the BIG GLARING Z on their chest, so tells the others to aim for the Z. They make short work of the putties and, after checking that Bulk and Skull are okay, go back to the Command Center. Bulk and Skull, having heard the voices, are determined to discover the true identity of the Power Rangers. And so it begins!

Zedd *fangirlish sigh* takes a piranha from a river in Angel Grove (a piranha? In Angel Grove? Seriously now?) and turns it into a monster. The rangers are a little distraught at having to fight it and Zack makes a comment about it being "no Pudgy Pig" and we go AW, PUDGY PIG! Because we are weird.

So they go to fight this piranha monster and summon their zords. But wait! He's a Zedd monster which means he's more powerful and he FREEZES the zords mid-summon. That's right, mid-summon. As in, the pterodactyl zord is frozen in mid-air... and doesn't fall to the ground. OH NOES! Whatever will the rangers do?

Perfect time for a To Be Continued...

Lists:
1.5 fish. There was character development! There was concern for Bulk and Skull's safety! There was plot! There were Very Pretty People!

Billy speak: None. I don't think we get much anymore. *sadface*

Covered in food: nobody

Questions we'd like answered: How did Goldar lose his wings in the first place? He had them at the start of season 1...
And how did Jason hear the thunder in the first place when nobody else did? Does his earring have magical powers?

Season 1 round up

You guys, we're about to start marathoning season 2 right now, but we figured we should do an end of the season review. So, we present to you the Season 1 Round Up

Highlights:
The first kiss ever on Power Rangers was between Jason and Zack.

Goldar really was VERY VERY obsessed with Jason.

Scorpina. Just the fact that she exists.

When Tommy is evil he's really awesome.

Rita has the most awesome bicycle known to man.

Kimberly's clothes. (Shut up, TSB thinks they are awesome.) [QueenRiley really couldn't care less.]

Jason's arms.

Billy/Trini

Billy speak!

Kimberly being the first Ranger to destroy a monster individually.

Lowlights:
Tommy. Just... Tommy.

Angel Grove has the worst public education I've ever seen. And they need to hire another teacher. Or three.

The fatphobia. The Ranger's bullying.

The dwindling Billy speak. It's the start of the end of his techno-babble. :(

Questions for you:
What would you like to see in this blog in the future?

What were your favorite moments of the season? Least favorites?

Episode 60 - An Oyster Stew

You guys, we have reached the end of season 1. It's amazing! When we started this blog back in March, it was mostly just for fun and because we were hanging out. But since then it's become something more, and I'm thankful to each and every one of you who reads and comments, and of course my co-recapper, queenriley. We're planning on putting up a season discussion post (of some sort) later on this week, but for now, let's just talk about this episode. Which we have a guest recapper for - my roommate doctoraicha was in the room while I was watching, and her comments need to be included. (She's responsible for the subtitle. She's never really seen Power Rangers before.)

And after a string of disappointing episodes, we got an amazing one today. In fact, this episode necessitated a change in the livejournal setting to adult concepts, because um, this monster was vaguely NC-17 and the recap is going to reflect that. queenriley and I were cackling through the entire thing. Seriously. AMAZING.


Godzilla and Voltron vs the Peen Monster

First, we have a Zack episode today! We love Zack. We also love Angela. In no way am I writing a ridiculous AU where Angela ends up a Ranger. Plus, Bulk and Skull get to be awesome. When we first see them, they are practicing for an audition. Aww, Bulk and Skull have musical talent! And they just want to be famous! This is pleasing to us. Meanwhile, Kimberly makes fun of them, leading my roommate to ask why the girl in pink is being such a bitch to them.

Zack, meanwhile, is trying to figure out how to impress Angela for her birthday. Because his previous "dates" with her have gone so well. So Zack tries to come up with ways, and his first thought is to buy her pearl earrings. What? Oh, ZACK. Honey. That just... is not going to end well. He's also planning on getting her a singing telegram and going on a double date with Tommy and Kimberly to a french restaurant. Zack, she hasn't even agreed to go out with you yet, this is not going to end well. *pets him* Maybe he should ask Jason instead? Jason would say yes.

Zack manages to ask out Angela, and when she hears "French cafe" she agrees to go along. Zack trying to work up the courage to ask her out is really adorable. We just want to hug him.

Rita has nothing better to do than spy on them, and when she hears that Zack wants to buy pearls for Angela, she creates an oyster monster, who possible beat out both the Terror Toad and the Pudgy Pig as our favorite monster. Seriously, this thing is amazing. It... well, it has a vulva for a head and a giant phallic thing that shoots pink goo out of it. We started laughing at this point and just did not stop. Especially when this episode features such dialogue as "I can take it!" or "Feeling a bit tied up? Let me help you unwind" followed by the monster shooting off a load of pink goo. There are not enough words to describe how amazing this is.




Anyway, Zack tries to find pearls for Angela, but everything is out of his price range. As he runs through the park a shady looking guy stops him, and offers to sell him some jewelery out of his trench coat. Zack is all "it isn't stolen, is it?" and the guy is all "No! It will help whoever you give it to fall in love" and oh, Zack, you are such an idiot. But Zack buys them (and doesn't even try to negotiate on the price, he's just all "is this enough?" and gives money to the guy) and we find out that the guy was actually a putty, who skips away. Also, the pearls that he bought are actually magical pearls of stillness. I want some.

At the restaurant, the menu turns out to be all in French. Zack orders for everyone. Oh, Zack, don't you remember what happened last time there was French cooking on this show? And you know, the name of the restaurant translates to "Snail's Head" which is amazing. Zack ends up ordering frog's legs. Oh, Zack. Then Bulk and Skull show up. Apparently they nailed their audition and now they do singing telegrams. Tommy makes fun of them, but at least they have jobs! They're adorable, honestly.

Zack gives Angela the pearl earrings, and now that he's given her expensive stuff, she loves him. Just as they are about to kiss, Bulk and Skull get knocked over, and food falls all over Zack and Tommy, who go to clean up. Meanwhile, in the park, Trini, Billy and Jason get attacked by putties, and they find out about the Oysterizer and the pearls, and realize that Zack is being used. Instead of using their communicators, they run to the restaurant. While Zack and Tommy are cleaning up, Angela puts on the clip on pearl earrings (oh, Zack, so cheap.) which causes everyone to freeze.

Tommy and Zack (unaffected, because they were in the bathroom, making me wonder what the point of Rita's plan is) go to the Command Center only to discover that the monster is more powerful underwater, so really, they should just use the Dragonzord to fight it, since we KNOW that Zord works underwater.

And then they go fight the Oysterizer, and... our conversation deteriorated really fast.
queenriley: Does that look like a penis?
TSB: yes, that does look like a penis
queenriley: hehehehe
OMG IT EVEN SHOOTS OUT GOO
OMG OMG OMG OMG
TSB: AMAZING
queenriley: alsdjfasldfjalhgoiaewgh
I LOVE THIS MONSTER
TSB: ME TOO
queenriley: AND MORE GOO
OMG I'M FALLING OUT OVER HERE THIS IS WONDERFUL
TSB: IT HAS A VULVA ON ITS HEAD

At some point during the fight while we were busy mocking the monster, Zack ended up wearing Tommy's Shield of Cheap Bling. Which was awesome, and it looks better on him than it does on Tommy. Zack did something and then the monster fell in the water and this broke the spell. We don't know how.

Back at the restaurant, everyone unfreezes, and the earrings disintegrates. Angela yells at Zack and leaves. Apparently Zack left Tommy behind at the beach. We don't know why he does that either. Zack pays for their meal (amazing!) and then the Rangers all morph. They summon the Megazord underwater, and then there are amazingly bad special effects and epic 80s hair band music. We're in love. Then the megazord destroys the monster's pearl.

TSB: I AM INTERPRETING THE DESTROYED THE PEARL IN THE WORST WAY EVER YOU HAVE NO IDEA
queenriley: OH I THINK I DO, I THINK I DO
TSB: THIS IS GOING TO BE AN R RATED RECAP
queenriley: IT SO IS
TSB: WE WILL HAVE TO CUT IT
HA. CUT IT
queenriley: AL:SKJALSDJFSLDFJSDLG
YES

Anyway, then they summon Dragonzord, because that can fight, and my roommate asks why Godzilla and Voltron are fighting a peen monster, and I fell off the couch laughing. The megazord cleans all the goo off of the Dragonzord, and then they destroy the Oysterizer. With teamwork!

Back at the Youth Center, Zack talks about learning a lesson about not spending money or something, because he's broke, but we're not sure what lesson he actually learned. Because really, Angela was only interested when he bought her stuff. But then he sings to Angela with help from Bulk and Skull, and then Angela kisses him. Awwww.

Basically, this was the best episode ever.

Fish: ONE. BECAUSE AMAZING.

Covered in food: Bulk, Skull, Tommy and Zack. Plus everyone gets covered in goo. Shot from the phallic thing.

Episode 59- Mighty Morphin' Mutants

As I was wandering the aisles of the grocery today, buying my bread, my milk, my kitchen sponges, I stopped at the beer aisle. You see, we're out of beer and while we don't drink often, we do occasionally enjoy a nice cold one. I stood there, pondering my choices. Was it a Shiner kind of week? Would Guinness be more fitting? Oh, but there was a new Canadian import on sale that I'd wanted to try, so maybe that. And while I thought about which to purchase, I remembered the episode scheduled for viewing and recapping tonight. As I remembered this episode, I immediately turned away from the beer, paid for my groceries, and headed next door to the liquor store. This episode requires something far harder than a grocer could provide. And that, dear readers, should tell you everything you need to know about tonight's episode.

It's a Tommy episode and we start off with Tommy running down the school hallway. He's late. Again. Kim asks him what's going on and he tells her he's late for Mrs. Applebee's class. I wonder why she's not also late for class, and why she's not in the same class with him as they seem to share every class, but then I remember Mrs. Applebee teaches English, and Science, and Social Studies, and who knows what else. So... yeah. Anyway. He's late.

He sneaks in just in time for Mrs. Applebee to give them their assignment. And before we're even ONE MINUTE into the episode, I teeter on the verge of blackout rage. But I have artificial means of calming my nerves and that's the only thing that saves this episode and has kept this recap out of all caps.

You see, their assignment is to ask their friends to choose something about said person that needs a little work. And then they have to go about trying to fix that problem. So basically they have to go ask all their friends "Hey, what's wrong with me?" and then try to fix it. Um... that's not cool. Yeah, acknowledge your flaws and all that. But to ask teenagers to go around asking other teenagers what's bad about themselves? That's... a disaster waiting to happen. I would have WEPT had I been given such an assignment in school. I also know there would have been a large handful of people jumping at the chance to tell me the fact I existed at all was what was wrong with me... so yeah. This assignment fills me with rage. Bad horrible awful soul-crushing assignment.

Moving on. Bulk is actually rather astute in that he goads Tommy that he'll be lucky if he can even remember what the assignment is. Because Tommy is forgetful. And this episode points it out with startling consistency.

We cut to Goldar conducting a putty training session. It's ADORABLE! I love it. Poor Number 6 just isn't cutting it though, so Goldar sends him back to the clay factory. Goldar then hands out five discs and we discover the putties are going to morph and become ranger clones. We have black, pink, yellow, blue, and green. No red because Number 6 couldn't cut it. Of course he couldn't. Goldar wants the real thing. He'll settle for nothing less than Jason himself. No putty would have been able to pass the Goldar Jason-obsession test.

Tommy asks what his flaws are. First he borrows a towel and some water from Jason because he forgot his, and Jason tells him he's forgetful. He gets a little offended and is all "C'mon man!" but Jason has walked off. Then he asks Kim and Trini and they agree, he's forgetful. He has to agree with them after he buys a soda, puts a straw in it, and then forgets it on the counter. He then says he forgot he was forgetful. *headdesk*

We then see Tommy and Kim walking through the park together and they come across the green and pink Putty Rangers. Tommy tells Kim not to morph and they get their rear-ends handed to them. They wait until the fight is over and the Putty Rangers are gone to contact Zordon and let him know what's up. They discover there is no red Putty Ranger because Rita has sent down Commander Crayfish in it's place (and poor Putty Number 6 couldn't get Goldar's Jason-obsessed approval).

The next day, as Tommy forgets just about everything else, Billy gives him a device he worked on the night before. It's a little memory device that has everything Tommy needs to do programmed into it and sounds an alarm at the required time. Billy was actually helpful! Except then they talk about taking their minds off Rita's evil rangers in the middle of the very crowded Youth Center and seriously, secret identities don't work that way. While at school, Kim just ties a bunch of ribbons on Tommy's wrist and tells him that will help him remember. The memory device short circuits just in time for Tommy to realize he's forgotten his notebook, the one with all his homework and notes in it that Trini worked so hard helping him organize. And goodness knows what else he's forgotten (aside from a soda he just bought, a towel, his water for after working out, what attacks he's using during sparring, etc etc etc).

It's at this point that I begin to wonder if Tommy has a brain tumor because seriously, this goes way beyond just forgetful. This is disturbing serious mental damage levels of forgetfulness. TSB's theory is that it's something Rita did to him when he was evil and while I never put much stock in that beforehand, the end of this episode gives us a plausible theory. More on that later.

So Tommy leaves his morpher in his locker and skips class to run home and get his homework folder. Meanwhile, the other five are called away before reaching class, so they end up skipping as well. They go fight Commander Crayfish and the Putty Rangers. They do okay, but not too terribly well. Tommy finally gets back and hears his morpher, so he goes to join the fight. La de da. Fight scenes aren't my favourite, sorry. Zordon gives them new weapons after they get their asses handed to them AGAIN, and they look just like the old weapons, but are supposedly way more powerful. They blast the Putty Rangers into the air and then Rita makes them grow. Even the putties grew. This happened before when Tommy was evil. Rita made him grow. I had forgotten, but TSB reminded me, and it cleared up some things. Perhaps Tommy really did suffer brain damage from the massive growth and then shrinking down. Surely it would have adversely affected his internal anatomy.

Anyway, they call the zords, they fight, they call Titanus, they win. End of fight, yay!

Back at school the following day, poor Tommy is still forgetful. The others make him feel better about it, telling him it's okay because nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws and that's what make you special and your real friends will love you despite your shortcomings. Which is a good lesson, sure, but falls flat after the whole "ask everyone you know what they think is WRONG WITH YOU" assignment. *sigh* Not to mention that the level of forgetfulness Tommy exhibited was downright FRIGHTENING and worrisome. Like, what is physically wrong with him, get him into a doctor asap, kind of worrisome.

Bulk and Skull show up to school dressed as gentlemen. They are cleaned up nicely, hair washed and styled, wearing suits. They look pretty darn good! They even brought a present for Mrs. Applebee, but she refuses to open it and insists they open it for her. It ends up shooting silly string all over Bulk and his nice suit. Mrs. Applebee then turns to the rangers and says, and I quote, "Well, I suppose some of us will never change." and then LAUGHS. WORST. TEACHER. EVER.

So yes, I needed that hard liquor to keep me calm through this episode, mostly because of the assignment. Seriously, I would have had a freaking mental breakdown had I been assigned that in school. That's... just not okay.

Lists:

5 fish. It kept some continuity and all, but that assignment! I can't get past it. And Tommy's disturbing level of forgetfulness without being called on it. Myocardial infarction was less worrisome than this mess.

Billy speak: none really

Covered in food: none

Episode 58 - Football Season

Hi everyone I am back from San Francisco! I am totally jet lagged and operating on caffeine and willpower, so my apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense. But seriously, I haven't watched Power Rangers in over a week* so it only makes sense that the first episode I watch is a Tommy episode, right? This episode actually starts off really well (and man, it is pretty) but unfortunately it then deteriorates into a large pile of fish, and even the pretty cannot save it. Also, I do not care about football (BASEBALL. Why are they not playing baseball???) so I'm sure there are plenty of football references that I just missed or whatever.

The episode begins with Tommy and Jason in the hallway admiring their nice arms. Well, Jason has nice arms. Tommy's arms are kinda scrawny. But actually they're talking about football, and Jason is encouraging Tommy to try out for the team, possibly so they can wrestle and pat each other on the butt. Bulk is also trying out for the team, and Skull is his coach. Bulk charges down the hallway, crashes into the principal, and then they get more detention. We think they might still be there, since they have to be up to at least 20 years at this point.

Later, in the Youth Center, Tommy is sulking about how he doesn't understand football, and he's worried about being rejected. This is almost endearing. Almost. It's just that Adam does it so much better than Tommy does. Ernie offers to coach Tommy, since apparently Ernie was awesome at football in college. That's so sweet of him! It's inappropriately young friends, the older generation! Bulk wanders into the Youth Center in a tutu, and Skull mispronounces ballet. Those two are oddly endearing in this episode. We're getting closer to them getting character development, yay! Trini and Kim ask Tommy if he wants to go to the park with them to play flag football, but he says no so that Ernie can train him. Whatever.

Tommy fails at grasping the concept of football. You are not supposed to kick people in the head, Tommy! That is not a very hard concept to grasp! It is not karate. (Okay, I do approve of the scene where he does push ups. I am shallow. Whatever.) Oh, and there are more hijinks of Bulk in his tutu in detention. Whatever. (Amazingly, there are other students! Maybe they got a bigger budget?)

Meanwhile, in the park, David Yost is really pretty. Seriously, we chat during the recaps and it pretty much deteriorated into "OH HI THERE DAVID'S ARMS" for a while. For the record, both of us would watch a show where they just played sports. (Also, if Billy can play football, Tommy should be able to play football. I guarantee you that Billy just decided to read a book on it that morning and then was all "I know football" and proceeded to beat everyone.)

Anyway, Rita decided she wanted a football team of her own, so she sends Putties down into the park. Billy is an awesome gymnast, the girls kick ass, and for some reason Zack is wearing a shirt. They go to the Command Center where Zordon tells them that as they can tell from the attack, Rita wants her own football team. Really? Because Rita's attacked them while they play basketball and volleyball, and Rita hasn't had that themed monsters yet. Maybe a fish told them.

So they go and fight Rita's monster, who is a rhino or something? But he isn't that important, because there are FOOTBALL PUTTIES. AMAZING. Except then the monster sends them to an alternate dimension, so Zordon needs to call Tommy. Tommy leaves his training while Ernie is on the phone (I hope that's a long phone call, Ernie, because Tommy didn't leave a note) and there's a long fishy explanation about how if Tommy throws his daggers through the mist of the alternate dimension and Jason catches them that the Rangers will be freed? So Tommy fakes surrendering and I don't even know, because this was about the point where our chat deteriorated again, but instead of yelling about Billy's arms, we were yelling about fish. Oh, and Tommy's powers are starting to go out, because it adds drama. Or something.

Especially because then the Megazord appears out of nowhere (seriously, did they summon it in the dimension?) and then it turns out that Tommy's daggers are a boomerang, and also Tommy recovers from his power loss as soon as he sees the Megazord. Fish fish fish.

Back at the Youth Center, Principal Caplan is announcing the football team. Jason, Billy and Zack all make the team. Billy? Seriously? I still can't picture him agreeing to play this sport. Although the boys look really pretty in the uniforms. And I can't think its a good idea for them to be all on a team - what happens when Rita attacks? Does she just know not to attack during their practices and games? Will this ever be referenced again? Anyway, a bunch of other people are on the team, and Kimberly and Trini are sad because Tommy appears not to make it. Zack sees that Caplan dropped a sheet of paper, and calls Bulk's name. Trini and Kim clap half-heartedly, and Bulk comes out in a uniform + a tutu. And then Caplan calls Tommy's name. Apparently Tommy is the Star quarterback.

That sound you just heard is a combination of hysterical laughter and yelling. Okay, first of all, they haven't played any games yet. Second, Tommy did not deserve this which is what they say repeatedly. Sure, let him make the team. Fine. Whatever. But he's been playing for a day and he knows nothing about any of the strategies or anything else. (I do watch Friday Night Lights, although even that show has failed to explain football to me. Except I would like Jason Street to be a superhero.)

Anyway. This episode gets 5 fish. It started out really well and then fell apart. Even the pretty cannot save it.



*This is not true. I visited ryuutchi while I was there, and I was horrified to find out that she hadn't yet seen Ranger Blue, and she was horrified that I'd never seen any of Jungle Fury, so we watched some episodes. Theo and RJ are totally awesome, just so everyone knows. And Flynn is still my favorite. Well, except for Adam. But Flynn is my favorite for RPM! So.** Also, my friends who I went on vacation with very nicely put up with my babbling about my apocabigbang even though neither of them are in this fandom, as they are awesome. ♥ ♥ ♥

**I did mention that I was running on pure caffeine and willpower, right?

Episode 57- Fowl Play

To start with, TSB will be going on vacation next week, so there will be no recaps. Alas.

Finally we get the Zack episode I lamented at missing due to the mislabel! Even better than that, it's a Tommy-less Zack episode! Yay!

So we start off with Angela breaking up a fight between two kids while Zack, in a stunning display of actual continuity, puts on a magic show. He's pretty good. Bulk and Skull interrupt, however, and make fools of themselves in attempting to upstage him. All while Bulk has a Twinkie in his mouth. *sigh* Zack is then really mean and surprises them with some fake snakes. Snakes. I thought he was afraid of snakes. But I guess he got over it. Or they forgot.

So Angela tells him that was brilliant (really? Seemed more mean to me...) and then kisses him on the cheek. Okay, so that part was adorable. She walks off and the other rangers walk up and make fun of Zack for it. They're kind of mean about it, but it's borderline between playful and cruel, so I'll let it slide. Jason seems somewhat jealous and tells Zack not to do anything that he wouldn't do and we're left with the unsaid "Like kiss a girl" hanging in the air. They go to the park and Zack stays behind to hit on Angela. Meanwhile, Rita also seems to want to get in on the Zack action and swears she'll show him what a real peck on the cheek is like. Man, Zack is quite the hot commodity here!

In the park, Jason says something about putty and suddenly they are surrounded by putties. Kim poses a lot, Jason has very pretty arms, Trini is awesome, and David Yost is very pretty and obviously a gymnast.

Moving on, Angela asks Zack why he never told her he was so good with kids and Ernie's reaction to his response is PRICELESS. Zack says he doesn't like to brag and Ernie nearly chokes on his drink and walks away mumbling about how something has affected his hearing. Hehehhe. Angela tries to ask him out and Ernie keeps trying to get his attention. They finally look over and there is a news report about a giant monster bird thing attacking downtown. Ernie clearly knows Zack is a power ranger. The kids all gather 'round and Zack reassures them, but they don't look all that worried actually. One little girl says she's not worried because she knows the power rangers will save them. Awwwww.

So in order to get away, Zack has the brilliant (actually so, this time) plan to have Bulk make him disappear. It's awesome and works, except he's really mean and tells Bulk the magic words are "Iamag Oon" so when he says it, Bulk calls him a goon. Douchebag of the Day awarded to Zack! Grrr.

So Zack disappears and Zordon calls him with impeccable timing just as he reaches the hallway and is completely out of sight and earshot. He ends up having to fight the bird monster by himself because the others are tied up with the putties... still. We discover the monster's name is the Peckster. And I spend approximately five minutes giggling. The Peckster (teehee) runs away undefeated and Zack goes to the Command Center, where he discovers he must go back to the Youth Center because the (completely calm and not at all worried) children need him. Um... okay then.

So he gets back just in time for Bulk, who has up to this point refused to say "Zack" lest he bring him back from whence he sent him (where he saw lots of beans, I'm sure), get goaded into saying "Zack". One kid was very pouty. Everybody oohs and ahs as if it were real magic. Even the adults/teens. Mmkay.

At the part the putties disappear and the rangers go to the Command Center. They have to go fight the Peckster (teehee) and are told Zack will join them when he can and Tommy will not be called, lest his powers fail. And that is blissfully the only mention we get of him this episode.

So they're fighting, and the kids and Zack are watching on the tv, and Zack spies a bunch of balloons. Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend is sure the power rangers will save the day and Zack, in reassuring him (why? he was fine), spies some balloons. He sees Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend's black ball and gets an idea.

He teleports, morphed, into the fight and somehow talks the Peckster (teehee) into popping all the balloons in his hand. The last one, a black one, is really the ball in disguise (that looks nothing like a ball until the bird goes after it and then it looks nothing like a balloon) and the Peckster (teehee) gets his beak stuck. Oh show. I just. Okay, I'll be honest. I dissolved into audible fits of giggles and missed a lot of the ensuing fight. Because the Peckster gets his mouth stuck on a ball. I'm still giggling.

Basically, the Peckster grows (guffaw!), the zords are summoned, we see two things we've never seen before and will never see again (the Mammoth Shield and some laser that comes out of their head), and then the Power Sword Saves Them All. Again. Per usual. Whatever. Oh, and somewhere in there Zack gives a motivational speech about not giving up. I was still too busy laughing. Sorry.

Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend says the black power ranger used his head before his fists, JUST LIKE ZACK, and clearly this is a very smart Inappropriately Young Friend. Clearly he, like Ernie, knows Zack is the black ranger.

Later, Zack comes in all dressed up. He cleans up nice! It's a goofy suit and he even manages to make it look good! He's got grand plans to take Angela out for dinner and dancing, but she shows up with a gaggle of kids and tells him they're going to a 5 hour Woody Woodpecker review at the local cinema. Zack is upset, obviously, but goes along. We also discover I'm apparently the only person in the world who, as a tiny child, would have gladly sat through 5 hours of Woody Woodpecker. What? I loved him! And Underdog. Don't judge me!

List time!
4.5 fish. It was ridiculous, I'm sorry! It managed to both do a massive call back continuity nod AND ignore continuity altogether at the same time! But at least it was AWESOMELY ridiculous!

Billy speak: "What an effusive display of affection."

"Look at the abundance of feathers on that overstuffed ornith!"

Covered in food: Nobody!

Episode 56 - Enter the Lizzinator

At this point we've given up going by the order as posted, and we're just going by the way these episodes are on our shiny dvd sets. So even though this episode claims it is Fins and Needles, we're actually watching a Cheerleading episode.

So, we start off watching tryouts for the Angel Grove Junior High Cheerleading Squad. A random redhead is being focused on (I approve of all random redheads, just for the record) and wow, they are such bad cheerleaders. The cheer itself is horrible, and they also all suck. The random redhead sucks more than the rest of them, and ends up being late for the final word. Awkward. The random redhead turns out to also be a random relative. She is, in fact, Kimberly's cousin. Raise your hand if you're surprised that Kimberly was a cheerleader. Anyone? Bueller?

Apparently Kimberly was so awesome, that the Junior High still talks about her a few years later. So is Kimberly still cheering now, or did she quit when she got to high school, and honestly, who cares about Middle School Cheerleaders anyway? Perhaps Angel Grove High just doesn't have cheerleaders because a) they only have one teacher, so there's nobody to coach the cheerleading squad, and b) martial arts competitions don't have cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita decides what her life is lacking is her own personal cheerleader. So instead of capturing a good cheerleader, she decides to go after Kelly. Personally, I feel she should have just trained Squatt and Baboo.

Anyway, Random Relative (Kelly) is all sad that she is not as awesome as Kimberly, and Kim offers to help her. Kim is actually pretty lousy at cheerleading herself, honestly. Plus, when you teach these things you're supposed to mirror the person, so no wonder Kelly is messing up. Kelly gets frustrated and runs away.

Ernie asks Jason (and hi there, Jason's arms!) to go pick up a delivery across town, since some truck broke down. I hope you're paying him for that, Ernie. Or is Jason just trying to work off everyone's bill? That probably makes more sense.

Kimberly and Tommy find Kelly at the playground, and Kimberly gives what I assume is supposed to be an inspiring speech, while Tommy stands around looking creepy. Then they get attacked by putties, and I'm pretty sure we spent the whole fight scene discussing how I still think Kimberly's fashion sense is awesome. Just as the fight ends, Squatt and Baboo kidnap Kelly, and drag her off to the cave of captivity. Kimberly and Tommy forget they have communicators, and they run over to the Youth Center to get Zack, Trini and Billy.

Meanwhile, Jason is picking up Ernie's delivery, when he gets attacked by the Lizzinator. At first we're totally confused as to why he's called the Lizzinator, and then he starts to talk. It's actually a Terminator joke, or really a governator joke. Oh, show. Sometimes I love you so much. (The monster still looks nothing like a lizard. Seriously.) Anyway, the monster beats Jason up, and then tells him it was too easy, and maybe more Rangers will present more of a challenge, and then he runs away.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them that the Lizzinator is incredibly powerful, and Alpha presents Billy with a grocery scanner readout that says that the monster is really powerful. Nothing can penetrate its skin. Kimberly is all upset because apparently if they can't defeat it, they'll never find Kelly. Also, if they can't defeat it, then Rita will, you know, take over the world. I feel that Kimberly's priorities are skewed. Tommy says he'll go with them to fight, but they suddenly all remember that Tommy's powers are limited. Continuity! It's a miracle!

They go to the Inexplicably Abandoned Rock Quarry, and there are a lot of putties. Including a driving!putty, and we start talking about how probably thinks this scene is awesome. However, we've also decided that it would be even better if it was a driving!pumpkinhead!putty. This should happen. Plus, the driving!putty punches Jason in the face. This is hilarious to us.

Anyway, Jason is getting beaten up, when Tommy shows up to save his boyfriend, even though Jason is all "no! you're so weak!" and then Jason promptly swoons. Booooooooyfriends. (I only find Tommy tolerable when he's dating Adam Jason.) There's a fight, and other things, but honestly, I'm not so much in this for the fight scenes. Oh, and at some point they summon Zords, the Dragonzord gets thrown around in a way that made us start yelling about how physics doesn't work like that (The Lizzinator held the DragonZord completely upright over his head by gripping the end of his tail), and eventually the Rangers summon Titanus and win. At least it wasn't just the power sword this time.

In the Cave of Captivity, Kelly is just sitting on a rock, thinking of what Kimberly would do. She remembers that Kimberly told her to have faith in herself, and comes up with a plan. Um, I am fairly sure that Kimberly was talking about cheerleading, not fighting monsters. Idiot child! Kelly's grand plan involves writing the worst cheer ever and teaching it to Squatt and Baboo, who are talking about cheeseburgers. It is even worse than the Pumpkin Rapper. (Okay, not quite. But it is close.) Along with teaching them a cheer (that doesn't rhyme) about how Rita always loses to the Power Rangers, Kelly makes them spin around repeatedly, and they get dizzy. Squatt and Baboo then teleport out of the cave, leaving Kelly alone.

Now that Kelly is safe, the Rangers show up, and Kelly is very unenthusiastic about being rescued. Seriously, kid, I would be milking this for weeks! But no, she's just all "oh, hi there!" Maybe she knows that Kimberly is a Ranger and she doesn't want to look dorky in front of her cousin.

Then the episode ends. It was pretty good!

... Okay, that isn't actually what happened. What happens next is that the episode veers straight into high fish territory. Even though the tryouts were supposed to be that same afternoon, everyone is wearing different clothes. A group is doing a cheer, and then it's Kelly's turn. She doesn't cheer, but she instead does a dance, so I have no idea why she was practicing the cheer anyway, since all she had to do was dance.

Kimberly and Kelly are both horrible to Bulk and Skull, and there's more fatphobia, and I cannot even deal.


Fish: If it had ended before the last few minutes, I would have given it 2, maybe 2.5 because of the ridiculous monster name. But since the last few minutes happened, it's being bumped up to a 4.

Fanart that needs to exist: Squatt and Baboo: I can has cheezburger?

Episode 55- Second Chance

This was an incredibly boring and pointless episode. It... ugh. Should have had a beer. Would have made it easier. I think I'd rather suffer through Devon's Not-Actually-A Ghost again than watch this episode one more time.

So we start out in the Youth Center with Jason and Zack on a date. It's adorable, but that's the last interesting thing that happens. A bunch of kids run off all happy to have made Ernie's soccer team. Why Ernie is running a soccer team, we have no idea. There is one little boy who is very sad. Or rather, we suspect he's supposed to be very sad, but really he's just wooden and expressionless. I think the kid from Phantom Menace could act better than this kid. Anyway, Boy Who Can't Act, also named Roger, didn't make the soccer team. Jason suggests he practice. Ernie says if it was up to him, he'd hold another try-out (why this will help, I have no idea). Zack throws logic into an episode that lacks any and says it IS up to Ernie, who then says "Oh yeah" and sets up for a second try-out.

At school the following morning, Zack wants to do soccer tricks in the hallway. Bulk and Skull take the soccer ball. Kim is mean to Bulk (something about nobody seeing him on a soccer field... it was cruel, we'll just leave it with that). Bulk manages to kick the ball right into Ms. Applebee as she comes around the corner. She gives them detention. Zack chastises them for doing soccer tricks in the hall... which he was just about to do too... and I want to bang on the keyboard, but won't because I like my computer and don't want to break it.

Oh, and somewhere in there, Tommy slammed his wrist and communicator against the wall and broke it. He goes to first period, which he doesn't have with the other rangers but does have with Bulk and Skull (and what in the world do their timetables actually look like? I can't figure it out). His communicator keeps beeping and Ms. Applebee takes away his "pager", yet doesn't question that it looks like a watch and not the little heavy boxes with the tiny screen that pagers used to be. Oh goodness. Pagers. Dear readers, we feel very old right now.

After school that day, Jason and Zack practice soccer in the park with their Inappropriately Young Friend, aka Boy Who Can't Act. The kid is bad. They encourage him and instead of actually showing him how to do things, they just keep throwing the ball at him. So then they get attacked by putties. And then they get attacked by Rita's not-fully-charged Soccadillo. Oh show. The best part is the putties get together and start playing soccer with the Soccadillo. That was actually really cool. Not as cool as pumpkin!putties, but still pretty neat.

Zordon calls the other rangers in and Trini goes to stand by Boy Who Can't Act while Billy and Kim go after the putties. I'm a little confused as to the logic here. I mean, I know Trini is mostly Informed Ability, and she's only shown as being awesome in her (very very few) focus episodes, but I certainly doubt a novice and a girl with no martial arts training would be more skilled fighters than somebody who takes specialized martial arts classes with her own personal trainer.

Anyway, they get their rear-ends kicked by the Soccadillo (okay, so I know everywhere else lists it with only one c, but since it's a word smush and soccer has two c's, I'm going with that). They teleport to the Command Center and we're left wondering what they did with the kid. We can only assume they gave him some fish and went about their merry way.

They morph and go fight in the Inexplicable Abandoned Rock Quarry again. They blast and blast and apparently forget it's an ARMOURED mammal, so the firepower really isn't going to work against it. Meanwhile Tommy is trying to get his communicator back from Ms. Applebee and is surprised to discover it did not, in fact, magically fix itself while locked in her desk drawer all day. Zordon teleports him into the fight and they call Zords. Yada yada yada, Power Sword Saves Them All, explosion, the end.

Back at the Youth Center we discover every kid made it onto the soccer team because Ernie couldn't bear to let anybody down and made a second team. Bulk and Skull tell Boy Who Can't Act that he really didn't have to practice after all and he says he did, but frankly, they're kind of right. He would have made the team regardless of his actual skill level because EVERYBODY made the team no matter what. But Skull decides to show off, has something sticky on his hand, gets the soccer ball stuck, knock both Bulk and himself over, and then get covered in milkshake.

And I'm just glad it's over.

4.5 fish. It made little sense and was just BORING.

Billy speak: "Looks like a member of the dasypodidae family. [beat] An armoured mammal."

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull in milkshake.

Times I had to go back and edit out where I accidentally typed football instead of soccer and didn't catch it until the end: twice