Episode 42 - Something Fishy

I'm really sorry I didn't get to Devon's Ghost yet. I've had a really hectic week. It is coming, I swear.

We've reached the reason this blog exists! This is the Billy is afraid of fish episode. And yes, he obviously gets over it at the end, but we still really doubt that he would move to a fish planet and then hook up with one. But the point is, our hatred of that particular plot point would be the reason that we have this blog and the rating scale that we do, so major love for this episode! (It is totally fitting that this is episode #42.)

Our episode begins with discovering that Jason is a licensed diving instructor, which also means that he wears really atrocious shorts. Jason, Zack and Trini are going to go scuba diving, and they invite Kimberly and Billy along. Kimberly says that she doesn't want to mess up a perfectly good hair day (which, it really isn't. Her outfit is pretty awful as well) and Billy says that he doesn't like fish. Instead, Billy and Kimberly are going on a picnic by a lake. Because they are adorable.

Bulk and Skull show up, and it looks like Bulk is wearing tights. Predictable hijinks ensue, where Skull harasses Trini (which is different. Shouldn't he be hitting on Ki instead?) and we find out that they're planning on going fishing. Also, Bulk's locker is disgusting. Seriously, there is no reason for that much trash to be in there. Ewww.

Later, Jason gives a lecture on diving safety, and we get some shots of them zipping up their wet suits. We approve of this. A lot. We have no idea when (or how at 16) Jason managed to become a licensed diving instructor, but at least later canon manages to remember this point.

While they're diving, Kimberly and Billy are having a lovely picnic. Apparently Billy's fear of fish extends to eating fish, (Kim packed fish and chips for lunch) and I'm sure that Cestria will have a major problem with this later. Kimberly asks Billy why he's so afraid of fish, and we get treated to a flashback of wee ickle Billy trying to apply what he learned of whirlpools to a pond, where a fish bit him! Seriously, he is so adorable. Kimberly giggles, and I really can't blame her. She also points out that at least it wasn't a piranha.

There's a disturbance, and they glance over to see Bulk and Skull fishing. Bulk has managed to catch a no fishing sign, along with a lot of other garbage. Apparently their Clean up club didn't do this section of the park. Bulk and Skull try and catch a fish, but all they manage to do is hook their lines to their belts and they end up throwing themselves in the lake.

After laughing at them, Kimberly suggests they go see the divers and then get some ice cream. Billy is all excited, and he asks if it can be chocolate chocolate chip. Now I'm craving ice cream. Which I don't have, but I think there are brownies. Mmmbrownies.

Before they get very far, putties attack! Rita was listening in on their date Billy's fear of fish, and now it is time for an attack. At first Kim and Billy are all "Oh no! Too many putties!" but they end up winning, and they are awesome. Plus, we get to see their gymnastics skills. The Kim and Billy fights are always way fun to watch.

After they defeat the Putties, they actually remember that they have communicators. They contact Zordon and find out that Rita has unleashed a new monster called the Goo Fish, which is the best name ever. The Goo Fish spits out a goo that basically immobilizes people. We should really start keeping track of how many monsters can glue people to the ground or freeze them, I'm guessing it's a lot.

Billy and Kim go and fight alone, while Zordon tries to contact the divers. Did they seriously not plan for this at all? Luckily, their communicators are waterproof, and the other three are just finishing up their swim. Unfortunately, Zordon calls them right before they were about to strip off their wet suits. *sadface*

As Kim and Billy fight the Goo Fish, who is voiced by Lord Zedd and we are both really weirded out by that, Rita places a spell on Billy to make his fear of fish even worse. He goes and cowers by a rock while Kimberly protects him, until the other Rangers show up. Goo Fish runs away, and the Rangers all go back to the Command Center, where they start complaining about how tough the mosnter was. SERIOUSLY? After the events of Doomsday they think this is tough?! Whatever.

They go fight the Goo Fish again, and the Divers get gooed. Billy is all afraid again, so Kimberly kicks some serious ass to protect her friends. Unfortunately, it isn't enough. But Billy's love of his friends gives him the strength to break the spell and (temporarily) face his fear of fish. Rita makes the monster grow, and wow, they were really running low on Sentai footage, because this is one long Zord sequence. The Goo Fish starts beating them up and then Zack (Zack!) comes up with the idea to convert the Goo to energy and somehow that lets them summon the Power Sword and beat up the Goo Fish. Whatever, at least we got 18 minutes into the episode before we had to call fish.

Back at the Youth Center, at a much later point in time, Billy returns from going fishing with Ernie. He claims he might actually like this sport. Ernie says they'll cook up what they caught. Bulk and Skull show up, saying they caught the big one. It turns out that Skull just bought a giant can of tuna. Oh, Skull. Skull says he doesn't know any other kind of fish. *pets him* Everyone laughs. Bulk wants to inspect what Billy caught, and it turns out that Billy caught a lobster. There is so much wrong with that we really don't know where to start. First, that was the most fake lobster ever. Second, there was no way that lobster was alive. And third, that was not a California Lobster. And there are regulations about getting those lobsters, and we doubt that Billy got a sports fishing license. (Yes, this is exactly the sort of thing we nitpick.) (This may just prove my point that Angel Grove is secretly its own country.)

Also, I wouldn't laugh if someone has a lobster attached to their nose. That is just mean.


Fish: This episode gets 2.5 fish. Mostly for the WTF of the Zord fight and the fact that we ended up spending 20 minutes discussing the lobster after.

Billy speak: "I have a regrettable dislike for fish"
"A carefully planned distance from any fish substance!"
"My intuition tells me that Rita is up to something."
(There was probably a lot more, but we were too busy yelling about him eventually marrying a fish)

Covered in: Bulk and Skull get covered in garbage, thrown in a lake, and then Bulk gets a lobster stuck to his nose.

Questions to ponder: What other crazy plot points from early seasons should have shown up later on?

Episode 41- A Pig Surprise

First, I'd like to apologize for this not being up yesterday. We were both incredibly busy and there was inclement weather which made internet not possible. So you're getting it today. And it's a Pudgy Pig episode! I LOVE Pudgy Pig. No rational reason why, I just do.

We start the episode with the ranger teens working at a pet adoption fair. They adopt out a bunny and puppy to children with no parents present (I shudder at the thought). Just as they are about to close up, an elderly woman comes up with a pig on a leash. She can't keep the pig and hopes they can find him a good home. His name is Norman. Kim is grossed out by him, but I just think he's the most adorable piggy ever. Dawwwww Norman.

We cut to Zack running through the forest, stopping long enough to check his watch. He's apparently very late. We suspect he's been taking lessons from Tommy. He stumbles across the old woman from before and she dances around and turns into a putty. He goes to attack, but the putty splits multiple times and Zack complains it's not a fair fight. It's never been unfair before, him versus multiple putties, but we won't complain too much because it makes for one awesome solo fight! He wins, picks up a spinny thing that fell on the ground, and then runs off.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull come running up to the pet adoption booth. They want a pet too! They want something cool and different. Trini hands them Norman's leash and they happily take him home. At school the following day, they're showing him off. They are so proud! It's great. Bulk tries to get Norman to do some tricks but Norman basically ignores him, so he says "Stand there and ignore me" which Norman does. It's pretty clever, actually.

Billy and Trini are in Billy's garage trying to figure out the spinny device. Zack walks up and he can't offer much help, but he's curious how it's going. Billy suddenly remembers Zack said it was dropped by a putty that was disguised as an old woman, and it they FINALLY put two and two together. Maybe this device has something to do with Norman! Golly, you think?

They race to school, which is still in session by the way, so they were skipping. Jason and Kim haven't seen Bulk and Skull, so Billy and Trini go back to his garage and the other three look for the pig. Zack finds Bulk and Skull in the Youth Center with Norman just as the timer on the spinny thing counts down to zero. Norman turns into Pudgy Pig and everybody runs screaming. Skull tries to get him to remember that they are his parents, but he just wants to eat Bulk's sandwich. Zack, meanwhile, just kind of stands there. He doesn't call for help. He doesn't use the communicator. He doesn't run off and morph. He just... stands there.

Pudgy Pig has the munchies, which must mean it's 4:20, and he disappears from the Youth Center to who knows where, in hopes of finding food. Zack finally contacts Zordon and he says the other rangers are at the Command Center waiting for him. Zack AND Zordon!Fail.

The rangers all morph and run off to fight Pudgy Pig. Hey, look, it's the SAME sentai footage from Food Fight. Nice to see you there, familiar sentai footage. It is pretty cute how Pudgy Pig just kind of sits on the ledge of the roof though. He's just chilling, hanging out, still with the munchies. He teleports away, though, because the rangers are harshing his squee.

They find him at a pig farm. They hide expertly behind a pile of baled hay (because nothing says covert like bright red, yellow, blue, black, and pink spandex!) and discover he's dancing! Why is he dancing? Why, because he's trying to impress a lady pig, of course! Pudgy Pig is in love and it's the most ADORABLE THING EVER. No, seriously. I spent a few minutes just going "Daawwwwwww" and irritating TSB. The rangers think Pudgy Pig/Norman and Lady Pig would make beautiful bacon together (which is kind of morbid, when you think about it) and then say Pudgy Pig MUST be Norman because Rita's monsters can't fall in love. Way to stereotype, guys! Monsters can fall in love! *grumble grumble*

Zordon contacts them and we discover it was all a distraction. Rita really planned to send Goldar down to demolish the city. He's currently crushing things left and right in downtown Angel Grove. So the Rangers go fight him but end up being attacked by Scorpina instead. Goldar threatens to squish them like the little bugs he thinks they are and so they summon the zords in a really long sequence. Way to be out of sentai footage, guys!

We are then treated to a really long Goldar/MegaZord fight, with lots and lots of Rita reaction shots. Meanwhile, they call for the Mega Sword, which is supposed to be Power Sword, and it actually took me a minute to figure out they were saying Mega SWORD and not Mega ZORD and... yeah. Anyway. Goldar is pulled back by Rita just as the Rangers are about to slice him with the sword.

A short while later, they head back to the pig farm where Pudgy Pig/Norman is still trying to woo the lady pig. She seems rather unimpressed. Billy has fixed the spinny device and uses it to turn Pudgy Pig/Norman back into just Norman the pig. Lady Pig is duly impressed. Farmer agrees to adopt Norman so they can make beautiful (creepy and morbid) bacon together.

At school the following day, we discover Ms. Applebee is ill so Principal Caplan will be teaching her class. They're going to learn about farm animals and we have to remind ourselves this is supposed to be high school. Principal Caplan brings in a pig and poor Bulk and Skull, traumatized from what happened to the last pig they hung out with, freak out and run away. Poor Bulk and Skull.

List time!

Fish: 2.5 because it could have been worse, but it could have been better. And it's the most adorable episode.

Billy speak: "I was able to recalibrate the transformer so if my calculations are correct, it should reverse the process with no harm to Norman"

Question to ponder: Where did Rita get Norman from in the first place?

Fic we want: Angel Grove guidance counselors dealing with weird fears of the students due to Rita's wacky hijinks. "I was attacked by a rubber duck monster! Now I'm terrified to take a bath!" I nominate TSB to write it. Because I have too many fics in the works to add another "mundane daily life of Angel Grove residents" to my list.

Episode 40 - Doomsday Part 2

You know, considering how great part 1 of this episode was, you would think that part 2 would be awesome. And there are some good moments, but honestly we spent about half of it chanting fish at each other.

So, we open at the Command Center, and Zordon is going over the threat again, and he points out that Goldar hasn't brought out his awesome zord in 10,000 years. Of course Goldar hasn't brought it out in 10,000 years. He's been sealed in a can. While we're busy rolling our eyes at that, the next ridiculous statement is made. Apparently it requires 12 hours to charge back up the Megazord. Right now the Zords are only at half power. If they fight at half power and get destroyed, apparently it can destroy the grid. Wait, seriously? Since when does it take that long to charge up? And obviously they've fought at below half power before, considering that the Zords are currently charging. Fish fish fish.

So, they go, and promptly get beaten up. In fact, the Megazord gets its arm cut off. And seriously, that Zord has to be at least semi-sentient at this point, because while the Rangers are all freaking out (seriously, it's the best reaction shot ever) the Megazord manages to defend itself anyway. So they call in the Dragonzord, which promptly loses part of its tail. They keep getting beaten up, and then suddenly the Zords start to disintegrate, and seriously, that was pretty incredible. I mean, the special effects are ridiculous, but seeing the Zords get destroyed like that is pretty powerful.

The Rangers all abandon ship, and demorph back in the park. Apparently Rita is jamming the frequency of their communicators so they can't call the Command Center. Oh, and don't worry, because Billy's about to pull a Billy Ex Machina, and it turns out that the Zords have a failsafe where they teleport back to wherever it is they stay if they're about to be destroyed. If so, seriously, why haven't we heard about this before, and why was Zordon so busy going "blah blah destroy the grid" if you go?

So they head back to Billy's garage, and we get a shot of the Radbug. And I thought we've already established that if you can't contact the Power Chamber, you take the radbug. But Billy apparently has some wacky tool that will fix the communicators. Of course, there hasn't been enough drama in this episode yet, so Goldar and some putties show up to menace them.

Meanwhile, at the Command Center, Zordon is all "woe is me, I can't find the Rangers without their communicators", which is frankly bullshit. But Alpha tells us that since Rita's awesome moon palace is on Earth, apparently they can hack her systems now. I'm getting weird Independence Day flashbacks.

Back at Billy's garage, Goldar is still just standing there and being vaguely threatening. He hasn't even tried to attack yet. And he just watches as the Rangers teleport back to the Command Center.

And guess what? Apparently it must have been WAY MORE than 12 hours, because all of the Zords are just fine! Including Titanus, which must have been rescued from the sandpit by some flying sand-fish. Some other stuff might have happened at this point, but there was a long series of ????? and !!!!!! and flailing and screaming about fish and seriously, show, you could at least try to be consistent within the same episode. Zordon's big plan is that if they just keep changing Zord configurations, they can overwhelm Goldar's Zord. Which... apparently works. Big fight scene. Things blow up. Nothing to say about it really.

So after Cyclopsis blows up (it lost its head last time and still recovered!) Finster blames Goldar, and then Rita packs up her palace and goes back to the moon, and for some reason that makes the entire town reappear in the Park or wherever it was they were gathering.

Some little kids start arguing over which Ranger is the best. One boy likes the Red Ranger, another boy likes the Black Ranger, and a third boy likes the Blue Ranger. A little girl says she likes the Pink and Yellow Rangers, and seriously, couldn't you have gotten a second girl? Or maybe have one of the boys like one of the female Rangers? Is that too much to ask?! Of course, Tommy then makes an appearance (wearing all green, of course) and he tells them a secret - they are all the greatest. (I was really hoping he would say the Green Ranger is the greatest. Oh well.) So the Rangers show up and the all walk up and clap him on the shoulder, and seriously, how come nobody realizes Tommy used to be the Green Ranger?

The mayor makes a speech about how the Rangers are awesome, and that's the end of Power Rangers Day.

But wait, there's more! Back at the Command Center, Zordon says that while they haven't defeated Rita, they have dealt her a major blow. He then offers them the chance to quit. None of them do. Until they go off to a Peace Conference or move to a fish planet, anyway. That would be a great place to end the episode, except then Alpha says he caught a virus. A computer virus. GROAN.


Fish: Four fish. None of the Zord stuff made any sense.

Billy speak: "Rita's undoubtedly jamming the frequency"
"I'm adjusting the modulator to read an alternative signal"

Questions to be answered: What did the people in town experience while they were caught in the alternate dimension? What sort of events should happen at Power Rangers Day?

Episode 39- Doomsday Part 1

This episode starts with the news that it's going to be Power Ranger Day! There is going to be a big celebration in the park and the Rangers are going to make an appearance, all in celebration of the fantastic wonderful things they do to save the city.

Bulk and Skull hide in a corner and decide they want to pretend to be superheroes. They devise a plan to dress up and go to the celebration to reveal themselves as superheroes too. It's a pretty neat idea, but it's not going to go well because as we all know, Bulk and Skull just can't catch a break.

The park is set up with some really awesome, really wacky balloons. Jason and Zack are looking around for Billy, Kim, and Trini. They stumble upon Angela first and Zack asks her to hang out but she, per usual, turns him down. She does say she'd go on a date with him in a heartbeat if he were a Power Ranger! Oh Angela, if only you knew! They meet up with the others and have very loud conversations about wondering if it's time to morph into costume now. Secret identity: you're doing it wrong.

Bulk and Skull show up, change in a small photo booth, and then awesomely jump on stage. They look fantastic in their costumes! They introduce themselves as Bulkster and Super Skull: Boy Wonderful. I'm madly in love with them right now, Skull in particular. TSB has determined that Skull would make a great Robin one day and is intrigued by Skull/Dick Grayson. Hey, Batman exists in this universe. It could totally happen!

Rita plans to transport everybody to an alternate dimension and then take over Angel Grove. It's actually a really good plan. She starts with Bulk and Skull and within minutes, she's managed to teleport every single person except the Rangers. They contact Zordon and she takes her entire palace from the moon all the way to Earth. The palace is much bigger than it looks because underneath all that moon rock is what appears to be a skyscraper. She settles right in the middle of downtown Angel Grove. A prime location, I do believe.

The Rangers morph and call their Zords just in time to meet up with Goldar and HIS shiny new Zord! Yes, Goldar gets a Zord in this episode! It's name is Cyclopsis and it's insanely powerful. It's more powerful than Goldar is, which actually fits in continuity of the show, what with Zords generally being pretty badass compared to non-Zord-wielding Rangers.

The Rangers just can't beat this Zord, so with the MegaZord running on back-up battery power, they call in DragonZord. He is awesome, but still not powerful enough. The awesomeness that is Titanus shows up and lays the smackdown on Cyclopsis. It essentially BEHEADS him and that's the end of that fight!

Or is it? It's not! Rita sinks Titanus! She opens up a big hole in the ground and Titanus goes down! The MegaDragonZord tries to save him by grabbing him 'round his head and tugging, but Rita zaps them with her wand and Titanus is engulfed. It's really really sad. Poor Titanus, his little head poking out of the dirt while he sinks, crying in terror. Oh I could cry myself!

Rita summons Lokar and they know they're in trouble now. The Rangers, out of power, teleport back to the Command Center. Zordon tells them the residents of Angel Grove are safe in the alternate dimension, but they will be trapped there forever. Jason gets very emo and temporarily turns into Captain Obvious, stating that the Rangers are the only hope left for the residents of Angel Grove, but he look so wooby when he says it, I can't fault him for stating the obvious. Oh Jason, I just want to take you home and feed you cookies when you look like that. Zordon then basically tells them if they lose, the world is lost, and their friends and family will be trapped forever. No pressure or anything, though, right Zordon? Uh-huh.

We end with a To be continued.

That, dear readers, was an AWESOME episode.

List:

1 fish! Two episodes in a row we get only 1 fish.

Billy speak: "We can't allow him to gain a strategic advantage!"

A moment of silence, if you will, for Titanus.

Episode 38 - A Bad Reflection On You

First, l'shana tova to anyone on this community who celebrates. Queenriley and I decided to start the new year by watching an episode of Power Rangers, which we think worked out pretty well. Especially considering what a great episode this was. You guys, we've found our first ONE FISH episode. Not 1.5. Just ONE.

We open with Rita's best plan yet, and honestly, we're amazed it's taken her 38 episodes to think of it, because it is a great plan. Under the command of Scorpina (which is awesome in and of itself) and the new monster whose name we never actually caught, probably because we were too busy being pleased by the plan, a group of Putties are going to be turned into duplicates of the Rangers. We know that this same plot happens almost a dozen times (and we're going to count them!) throughout the show, but it is awesome, and we love evil twin episodes.

And we have to say, they are rocking the evil look. Billy in a wifebeater with his overalls rolled down? YUM. Seriously, David Yost has nice arms. They also have on sunglasses, because all of Rita's spells involve glowing eyes. She needs to work on that.

The Rangers are all brandishing tools of some sort (and there's a minor moment of serious fail when you realize that Zack is the one with the crowbar. At least he doesn't menace anyone with it) which they use to take apart a water fountain and add laundry detergent into it. We're just going to say this once and move on - science doesn't work like that. But there are some amazing moments, and Amy Jo Johnson and David Yost are clearly having fun reviving their Power Punks personas. We also get a repeat of the Skull asking out punk!Kim, and her doppelganger agrees to go out with him. Oh, Skull, we feel so bad for him. Because Kimberly keeps saying yes and then breaking the dates. We almost can't blame him for continuing to ask her out, because she does say yes sometimes. Also, twin!Billy totally shoves one of his geek friends up against a locker, and is it hot in here or is it just me? *fans self*

Anyway, Principal Caplan is the one to use the water fountain, and he ends up covered in foam, and I guess we aren't retiring the covered in [whatever] category any time soon. The fake!Rangers take credit and get thrown in detention, and they leave. The real Rangers get out of class right after, and they try to help the Principal, but are thrown into detention anyway. They're all confused, it is pretty adorable.

And can we just say, that is not how detention works. What they are actually describing is in-school suspension. And even in-school suspension you get supervised the whole time, and you have to do the work that you're missing by not being in class. But Principal Caplan just leaves them there. Angel Grove should really hire a second teacher.

Bulk tells Jason to get out of his seat. Jason asks him if his name is on it, and Bulk says yes. "Buulk." I'm really hoping that this is how his last name is actually spelled, or else seriously, how did nobody ever test Bulk and Skull for some sort of learning disability? Kimberly breaks the date with Skull, and at this point the Rangers should realize that there's some sort of spell going on. Kimberly just ignores it and pulls out a book with a pink cover. Oh, Kim, I really hope you're reading a trashy romance.

Bulk has a detention survival kit, which includes an enormous lunch sent by his mother. We get it, show, you think that the only reason people are fat is because they can't stop eating. Shut up already. We're totally creating a fatphobia tag now. *rage*

On the plus side, at least Bulk appears to have parents who actually care. We could try to do some analysis, but we're afraid it would just be depressing. Meanwhile, poor Skull has no lunch, and we're now convinced that Skull has a lousy home life. He asked Bulk for some of his food, and Bulk gives him the soda.

The soda promptly explodes, and everyone laughs at Skull. I guess this episode is getting the Rangers are Bullies tag. And then Skull aims the soda at Bulk, who also gets covered in soda, and Bulk retaliates by throwing a pie at Skull. Oy. Skull even THANKS him for it.

Meanwhile, stage 2 of Rita's plan is in full swing. Since the Rangers are otherwise occupied in detention, Rita has her evil Rangers morph and start attacking a very Japanese section of Angel Grove. (Hi there, sentai footage!) Fake!Jason even yells out "No mercy!" as they leap into the square. And they start firing on school children. Wow. Pretty great way to ruin the Rangers' reputations quickly.

Back in detention, Bulk has pulled out a tv. He and Skull are watching cartoons before it is interrupted with live footage of the Power Rangers destroying Angel Grove. This is how the Rangers find out. Can we say epic Zordon fail? The Rangers are compared to the same hoodlums that they used to fight. I'm not really sure that monsters count as hoodlums. Bulk and Skull think this is awesome. We really can't wait for season 2 and their endless quest to figure out who the Rangers are.

The Rangers realize they need to get out of detention, and just walking out doesn't work. Apparently they can't just teleport either, but they're going to need to immediately morph. Zack comes up with the idea of a magic trick (which is consistent with his character at least! He'll pull this trick again later) that will make them disappear. Bulk and Skull have to cover their eyes, put their fingers in their ears, and count backwards from 10. The Rangers morph and teleport out.

Okay, look, I said it earlier, but Bulk and Skull really need to be tested for dyscalculia right now. Or something. They should be able to count backwards from ten. Also, with Jason's new enthusiasm at yelling "It's Morphin Time!" they should still have been able to hear them. Teleportation is quiet. Do that first, THEN morph.

Anyway, the Rangers go to the square and fight their doubles. The fake!Pink one actually pulls off a pretty good plan, yelling for Trini to help her. Of course, it turns out to be the real Kim that Trini hits, but Kim fights back, and they hit the fake!Kim and she transforms back into a putty. The same thing happens with the other fake Rangers, except it turns out that fake!Jason is actually a monster. And we get a great fight - this time they use their blade blasters and the power weapons. No Zords at all! We missed this stuff. It's been a while since we've had a non-zord fight!

The people of Angel Grove come to see the Power Rangers and tell them that they saw the whole thing and they knew the Rangers would never betray them. Riiiiiiiiight.

Back in detention, Bulk and Skull are trying to figure out where the Rangers have gone. Giving up, they figure they can rat them out to Caplan. Just as they bring him in, the Rangers teleport back in, and they totally throw Bulk and Skull under a bus. The Rangers are forgiven for 'their' prank, and there's no mention of anyone ever calling their parents. Right.


Lists!
One fish. The only complaint we have about the episode is the ridiculous science. But really, most of the nitpicky stuff we have to say is so consistent with earlier episodes that we can't really complain as much, because that is just how this universe operates. We'll still point it out, of course. And we have to congratulate Rita on an excellent plan.

Covered in food: Caplan gets covered in foam. Skull gets covered in pie and a soda. Bulk gets covered in soda.

Billy speak: "Not even Skull is that mentally deficient"
"What a remarkable display of early neanderthal socio-contact."

Evil Billy speak: Pasta la pizza.

Kimberly speak: "And to think I always liked mirrors"

Episode 37- Clean-Up Club

Today on Power Rangers we are, once again, reminded that Angel Grove lacks quality education. And that we're old.

We start out in Ms. Applebee's class. She is the only teacher employed by Angel Grove High School and there is, apparently, only one very large classroom. Today they are doing video documentaries. On VHS tapes. Oh god we are so OLD.

Skull is filming Bulk. That is apparently going to be their documentary.

Trini does a documentary on pollution. Ms. Applebee agrees it's a disturbing trend and Trini proposes a Clean-Up Club to get cracking on all that pollution in Angel Grove. The other rangers immediately volunteer to join the club.

Meanwhile, Rita is spying on them. Per usual. She decides to foil their recycling plans by creating and sending down the Polluticorn monster. It's a unicorn with claws that... pollutes. Really? On Power Rangers? Okay, he's kind of lame here, but we think he would be ten times more awesome as a Captain Planet monster. He would totally work there. Here, not so much.

We then see them all at the Youth Center later that day. They're wearing matching green shirts that say Clean-Up Club. Those got made awfully fast. Jason and Zack karate chop some cans and Billy is painting some recycle bins for the Juice Bar. Apparently nobody has ever recycled in Angel Grove before. Ever. Despite the last attempt at cleaning up pollution.

The kids all head to a park to do some clean up and it is absolutely TRASHED. I've never seen anything look that bad, even with horrible litter, unless a tornado just hit. Or it was my kids' bedroom. Either way, their park has NEVER looked this bad. Billy takes a soil sample and puts it in some solution in a test tube and it immediately turns green, which means the park is totally polluted. First of all, soil samples don't work that way. Second of all, SCIENCE does not work that way.

Lots of acrobatics ensue while the rangers clean up the gigantic mess, and all without wearing gloves. I shudder at the thought. Mostly it seems to be just paper lying about, so it fills up a bunch of trash bags, but doesn't take that long to clean. Billy then immediately tests the soil again (not how it works, Billy) and magically it comes out clean, all pollution gone. NOT HOW IT WORKS, SHOW!

Rita, however, interrupts. She sends down some putties and a really awesome fight scene takes place amidst the trash. Billy is really improving his fighting skills here. They also let David Yost show off his mad gymnastics skills and I am very impressed. I wish they'd let him show off like that more often. They do a pyramid of awesome and Kim and Trini tag team some putties. Then Jason has really nice arms. And a nice ass. But mostly nice arms.

Goldar and Scorpina head down with Polluticorn and the rangers morph. Jason has gotten really good at his "It's morphin time!" exclamations and we assume he's taken some lessons from Tommy. Tommy is good at getting Jason enthusiastic about things. They fight and then end up going back to the Command Center, where Zordon is running an analysis on the Polluticorn.

Billy is asked to decipher the results, calls Zordon "Sir", and then they waste a lot of paper. All for Billy to discover they need to cut off the Polluticorn's horn to stop him. So they morph and go fight him at a recycling plant. I have to wonder though... if there wasn't any recycling in Angel Grove before, why do they have a huge recycling plant? While I ponder these pressing questions, Jason goes to fight Polluticorn on his own while the others go after Goldar and Scorpina. It's a pretty impressive fight, actually.

Jason has to pull out the Shield of Cheap Bling and then Rita makes Polluticorn grow, lest Jason and his Shield of Cheap Bling stop him. They have the shortest Zord summoning sequence ever and then beat him with just the MegaZord. It's really pretty cool to see them beat a monster with just the MegaZord again. I missed it's awesomeness.

After the fight, back at the Youth Center, they watch Reporter Guy report on the latest monster attack. They sure do watch themselves a lot. Deciding it's time to get working, they go down and start adding to large stacks of papers, plastic bottles, and soda cans. Whomever thought it was a good idea to stack 500 soda cans needs to be smacked upside their head. We suspect it was Billy, as he's the only one stacking, but we can't be sure. This, of course, will not end well.

And right on cue, in walk Bulk and Skull. Skull is still filming Bulk, who's trying to appear helpful. Skull falls into the papers and bottles and Bulk, laughing, trips over a tire and knocks down the entire soda can tower. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

In school the following day, in the only class run by the only teacher, she very rudely tells Bulk it's his turn. Skull hands over the VHS tape (OMGwearesoOLD) and it's a video that makes Bulk look really really bad. Ms. Applebee, apparently gunning for the Worst Teacher of the Year award, laughs at them. Bulk then attempts to chase Skull out of the classroom but can't get out of his desk because he is, apparently, too fat. Everyone laughs some more. Way to go with the fat jokes, Power Rangers.

All in all, we give this episode only 1.5 fish. It's pretty consistent overall and the only real glaringly obvious problem with it is the science. Science does not work how Billy pretends it works.

Billy Speak: "I'm deeply concerned about the ecological ramifications of ozone depletion, acid rain, deforestation and the loss of our top soils."

"I'm using a special mixture of totally organic paint, pigmented with various natural substances."

"This kind of wanton disregard is so destructive to such a fragile ecosystem."

"My analysis shows that the Polluticorn derives its power from its horn."

Covered in food: nobody (though Bulk is covered in recycling and garbage bags, but not food)... we may have to retire this category soon.

Discussion question: Why was there a large recycling plant if nobody recycled before Trini started the Clean-Up Club? Also, if they only intend to recycle one day a week (as stated with the club), what do they do the rest of the time?

Episode 36 - Birds of a Feather

Today on Power Rangers we get our first real taste of All-About-Tommy syndrome, in which an episode that looks like it will be about one character turns out to be about another character. Of course, since Tommy lost his powers last time, it isn't actually about him. This episode just looked like it was going to be all about Zack, but then turned out to be mostly about Jason. Which is still good, it's just that we want Zack to have more episodes! He is awesome!

While the credits were rolling, we actually had a discussion about why we think Rita is awesome. In the words of Queenriley, it is because she's in a cramped little space dumpster for 10,000 years and the first thing she wants to do is conquer Earth... not have a pee, not have a drink, not even have a cheeseburger. She just wants to rule the world. Seriously, Rita, we salute you and your total awesomeness.

The actual episode opens with a martial arts lesson, and miracle of miracles it isn't Jason teaching the class! No, they've remembered that Zack has his own style, and we get to see Zack teach a hip hop kido lesson. Not in the park this time, either! He's been promoted to being allowed to teach in the Youth Center. Anyway, Zack and his inappropriately young friend, Cameron, do a kata for the class, and then Cameron falls down. Zack tells him not to worry, and if he just concentrates he'll be great at the competition coming up.

Of course, it wouldn't be time for an encouraging moment between a teacher and a student without Bulk and Skull showing up to try and destroy a child's self-esteem. They have apparently sponsored their own kid in the competition, the appropriately named Biff. Biff shows off, and we're too busy being surprised that actual parents are in the background to pick up their kids from karate class. We didn't think such a thing was possible in Angel Grove.

At the competition, the first thing you need to do is to pay attention to the Rangers' outfits. This isn't just us on another making fun of the fashion thing, although we do enjoy that. It isn't even that Zack has apparently moved on from Jason to Billy (probably because Jason dumped him for Tommy) based on the color of his pants. No, it's that they are going to randomly change clothing in a few minutes and it makes no sense.

Just as the competition is about to start, Jason's communicator goes off. They all need to go fight a monster. Seriously, I'm amazed that Rita didn't pull things like this more often. She could easily ruin them if she made them cut out of tests and competitions and things. And you know, I'm not quite sure why they need Zack immediately anyway. Let him watch his student, for real. They can call him if they desperately need him. That's what they do with Kim later on!

So they go fight the Hatchosaurus and we're barely 5 and a half minutes into the episode, and this is going to be really high fight, isn't it. Jason also summons the dragonzord, since he has Tommy's powers now. And they blow up the monster. There's still 12 minutes left, how does this happen? So we go back to the command center, and seriously, they have all changed outfits.

Rita has apparently devised a spell where she can weaken the Dragonzord. No idea why she never did this before, but apparently it can drain energy from the Zord and also make its arms not move? In other words, she put a giant ring of energy around it or something.

Back at the Command Center, we find out that the reason that the monster is not yet destroyed is because they have to blow up the heart computer, aka the cardiotron. The show gets points for the name, I'll give it that much. They morph again and summon the Megazord to fight the Hatchosaurus, and promptly get beaten up. To help, they summon Dragonzord, but it's taking a while to show up, and they manage to blow up the monster again anyway, but it almost immediately reforms. Also, the Dragonzord falls down without hitting any buildings. We're wondering if the city planners left space for a monster fight or something.

Jason comes up with the brilliant idea of jumping down the monster's throat so he can fight the cardiotron inside it. The cardiotron is pretty creepy (it actually reminds us of a Dalek and has a lot of tentacles. Seriously, Jason, you have a sword. Why are you not slashing at the tentacles? Are you into tentacles? Instead, he just summons Dragonzord repeatedly, but it's still weak, so he summons the Shield of Cheap Bling and Dragonzord wakes up, and the Cardiotron is destroyed and they summon Titanus and hey, everything is fine now!

The next day (supposedly, we're not quite sure how it's the next day especially when they're still wearing the same outfits they change into earlier) they find out that Cameron has made it to the highest martial arts level. Or as normal people call it, the finals. He's up against Biff. surprise, surprise. Zack apologizes to Cameron, who forgives him, and then Cameron wins the competition. Biff tells Bulk and Skull he's getting a new coach, because he doesn't cheat. We like that kid. He looks kinda like the kid who plays young!Rocky.

Anyway, Cameron tells Zack that it's all okay because as long as he made Zack proud, and wow, that line comes off as so inappropriate. Oh, Power Rangers. You worry us, because we know where the inappropriately young friends thing is going. But don't worry, we love you anyway.


Fish: 3. And this is mainly the fault of the wardrobe department. We literally spent more time trying to figure out why they had changed clothes than anything else. Fail, wardrobe department!

Billy speak: "We must disconnect the cardiotron"
"Something is interfering with his mega receptors"

Episode 35- The Green Candle Part 2

Today on Power Rangers, Tommy tries his hand at being the Emo Ranger. He fails miserably, leaving that spot open to be claimed (quite successfully) at a later date.

We left off with a candle made of "special" wax burning down in Rita's Dark Dimension. It's going to steal Tommy's powers when it burns down completely. Nobody has thought to just blow it out.

In a matter of about five seconds of trying, Alpha has located the door to the dark dimension. Billy has also managed to somehow, in the span of said five seconds, build a machine that will create a portal that will take them through said door of the dark dimension. Okay then.

Jason and Tommy argue over who gets to go and Tommy eventually caves. There's a whole spiel about trusting your friends and stuff, but the dialogue is so awkward and the acting is so bad, I really kind of just glazed over during that part as a coping mechanism. Tommy wishes his friends good luck (after they've left, mind) in the most insanely melodramatic line of the series up to this point. Emo Ranger attempt? Emo Ranger FAIL.

So the five original rangers teleport to the park in the exact spot the putties kidnapped Tommy last time. Billy's machine is a molecular tracking machine and will follow the path of the molecules of the putties. Or something. It's ridiculous looking and works just like the third gym in Pokemon. Seriously.

Before they can activate it, however, Bulk and Skull climb an insanely steep hill that was never there before and has the most ridiculous sideways plants (seriously, sideways). They taunt the rangers a bit and even Billy tries to get in on the action. Zack gets Bulk to charge straight into a trash can which then rolls down said steep hill and Skull, in a moment of adorable sweetness, goes tumbling after of his own free will. He helps Bulk out of the trash can with great care and concern. Dawwwwww.

Meanwhile, Tommy has another over-dramatic conversation with Zordon about how he knows Jason will save him, except Jason totally won't. Emo Ranger attempt 2, Emo Ranger FAIL 2. He then has to go fight the Cyclops monster all on his very own because the original team mission is too important to pull them away... and the whole Cyclops thing is totally a distraction anyway. Tommy's use of 'git' instead of 'get' really irritated me this scene, but all is forgiven when he says "It's Morphin Time!" because he says it with such unbridled enthusiasm. He's much better at the call than Jason.

So Tommy calls on the DragonZord and fights Cyclops, who has taken the form of the MegaZord. It's mostly just filler, but Cyclops at one point shoots a laser out of his eye and we squee like the hopeless fangirls we are. If only it had been red...

Anyway, back at the park, Billy gets his invention all lined up, they activate it, and Jason goes through. Alas, he finds Goldar guarding the Green Candle which sparks ominously. They have a bit of a fight and really, we think Goldar just wants to grope Jason inappropriately. Jason may not be entirely against this because, well, he doesn't even try to morph... he just kind of dances around.

I'm curious here, though. The portal closed behind him so how is he supposed to get back? When the scene goes back to the park, the others are just standing around with inactive poles of whatever it is that Billy invented. And they expect Jason to come back how? I don't even know, but they have to reactivate it so Zack can go through and rescue his boyfriend because Jason is taking way too long to just grab a candle and run. Zack tells Jason they have the choice of getting the candle and saving Tommy's powers, or going back and fighting to save Tommy's life. Goldar just... lets them go? What? I don't... what? He lets them choose and just... walk out. Um... FAIL!

The original five morph and join the battle. They immediately summon Titanus to form the UltraZord, knock out Cyclops, and then teleport to... the Command Center? What? Why not just go back to the park to go through the portal to get the candle? I don't even know.

But it doesn't matter because mid-fight the candle burnt out anyway. Tommy is still morphed, however. The candle, tied to his POWERS, is burnt OUT and Tommy is STILL a ranger. Zordon convinces Tommy to surrender his power coin to Jason as it's apparently the only way to save himself. Jason then acquires the gold foamy-looking shield and Dragon Dagger. And Tommy is STILL MORPHED. What the hell, show? No really? You've driven me to foul language, show, and that just saddens me. So the POWER that was supposed to be GONE when the candle BURNT OUT is now with Jason. And it doesn't go away and it doesn't turn him evil and it doesn't do anything. And Tommy, finally, force demorphs. It's about damn time. He attempts to be Emo Ranger again and, because he desperately needs some acting lessons, FAILS yet again. Attempt and fail 3.

About one day later, Kim finds Tommy in the park. Tommy is showing off some of his moves, per usual. They have a very sad and emotional (Emo Ranger attempt 4, Emo Ranger FAIL 4) conversation in which we discover everybody misses Tommy a lot. Kim especially misses him. Uh, guys? It's been, like, a day. You go to the same school. You have ALL the same classes (as it's not like his schedule changed as soon as he lost his power or anything). HOW IN THE WORLD can you miss him THAT much???

Tommy is overcome with emotion. He leans in, kisses Kimberly in the first on-the-lips-intended-for-romance kiss of the show, and then they act all happy and relieved. He asks her to the dance, she freaks him out by turning away, and then says of course she will. It's just painful to watch.

List time!

Fish: 5. FIVE fish. We gave it five because that's our max limit, but really this episode deserved 87.

No Billy speak

Nobody covered in food either, though Bulk ends up rolling down a hill in a trash can.

Episode 34 - The Green Candle - Part 1

I am back from Dragon*con! I'm sorry for missing Saturday's recap, but I was busy having a fabulous time at the con. I went to a lot of panels including one where I talked about writing power rangers porn, and I did some shopping including buying two seasons of Power Rangers and basically I had a wonderful time. But now I am home, and mostly recovered, and it is time for a recap!

I've got to say, watching Power Rangers on the tv is so much better than watching it on youtube. Anyway, we open with Tommy and Zack sparring. Tommy is wearing the universe's most ridiculous shirt, although it is way better than some of his other outfits, and Zack has on those purple pants again. For some reason, Zack is encouraging Tommy to ask out Kimberly. Doesn't he know what will happen to her personality? And also, wait, they seriously aren't dating yet? Huh. (Also, the board that Tommy breaks during this conversation was clearly already broken.)

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita has a new plan to defeat the Power Rangers. Or at least get rid of Tommy. Apparently she has a candle made out of magic wax that will make him join her forever! She pulls out a tiny version of her wand and places it over a map of something that is definitely not California (seriously, Angel Grove is its own country) and tells it to locate Tommy.

While Rita is discussing her plans, Tommy is failing at sparring. Zack's cunning plan was to distract Tommy with thoughts of Kimberly! Tommy tells Zack that if it is so easy to ask someone out, why doesn't he try. Zack tries to impress Angela, and gets shot down, and I laugh a lot. Not that I'd be able to resist Zack. Oh, Zack, you can dance for me any time.

Bulk and Skull make fun of Tommy and Zack, reciting bad poetry about how no girl would ever go out with them. Then there is supposed wackiness that involves Bulk and Skull falling over and Zack and Tommy laugh at them, but seriously, why is it not season 2 yet so we can get some character development for those two?

Kimberly and Tommy are walking through the park. Tommy has changed shirts, but now the green of the shirt clashes with the green of his pants, so I'm not sure this is an improvement. Kim has a leotard on under her dress. (Look, there were some awesome cosplayers at the con, I am in a pay attention to the clothing type of place.) Tommy has just started to ask Kim a question, after a really awkward "Can I ask you a question?" "You can ask me anything, we're friends, right?" type conversation, when putties show up. Yay for cockblocking putties! As long as the one being cockblocked is Tommy, anyway.

There is a seriously awesome unmorphed fight scene, except somehow Kim's morpher gets dropped. Goldar shows up and takes Tommy to the dark dimension, and seriously, Kimberly is right there and has been separated from her morpher, and they just leave her? I know Rita is obsessed with Tommy, but I thought the point was to try and get rid of all the Rangers eventually. Evil is seriously dumb.

So Tommy is trapped in the Dark Dimension, with Kimberly still in the park screaming for Tommy, and Rita has apparently had Finster create a monster called Cyclops. I am really sad that it isn't Scott Summers. (You have no idea how badly I want the Power Rangers to fight the X-Men. I totally wrote a ridiculous AU fanfic where Billy and Kimberly turned out to be mutants when I was 11. It was awesome.) Instead the monster is a shape shifter with one eye. Not nearly as cool or as hardcore as Scott Summers.

After Tommy has been kidnapped, Zordon apparently managed to pay attention and the original five Rangers are in the Command Center, trying to locate the Dark Dimension. Seriously, didn't they manage to locate it during the Green With Evil Saga? Serious Zordon Fail.

Anyway, as they try to come up with a plan, the Dragon Zord starts attacking Angel Grove. Of course, since we were just told that Rita had a shape shifting monster 30 seconds ago, it is clearly not the Dragon Zord. Plus, Zordon says that it doesn't appear to be the Zord.

Tommy and Goldar are fighting, and there isn't nearly as much inappropriate Goldar/Tommy subtext as there is Goldar/Jason. Goldar has to go leave for some reason, so he uses the worst special effects ever to bind Tommy's hands, and Tommy just stands there, because apparently if your hands are in shackles you can't move at all or try to blow out the damn candle or whatever. (They keep stressing that when the candle burns down Tommy will work for Rita. Now, if they mean that the candle has to go out, that is one thing. But why not just blow out the damn candle so it doesn't burn down? Or else be more clear. Seriously, episode.) Tommy is seriously useless.

The other Rangers summon the Zords in the longest sequence ever, and my roommate walks into the room and says "Look! It's Voltron!" and then I miss most of the fight scene to try and explain the difference.

Goldar comes back and Tommy manages to steal his sword and teleport back to the park. Seriously? How does he know how to use that magic? I don't even know what is with that. Tommy tries to call his zord, but apparently his powers are weakening already or something. They don't quite defeat the Cyclops, because it will totally be back next episode. Whatever.

At the Command Center, Alpha is scanning Tommy, because apparently you can be damaged crossing dimensions. Did they scan Jason when he came back from the Dark Dimension? I'm pretty sure they did not. Jason remembers Rita's Dark Dimension as being a bad place, and I cannot stop giggling. There's a bullshit explanation for how the candle works, but basically Tommy touched the wax or something while he worked for Rita and that is how they are going to make him evil again. Everyone is very sad, and they're going to have to get the candle back.

To be continued, but not until tomorrow.


Fish: 3.5. It isn't quite as out there, but the logic about how the candle works, and leaving Kim behind like that is pretty bad.

Billy speak: "He's scanning Tommy for internal damage due to crossing dimensions."

Nobody gets covered in food, but Bulk nearly chokes on his own jacket. I don't even know.

Dragon*Con Update

Since TSB is off at Dragon*Con this weekend, there won't be a recap today. The next recap will go up next week, possibly as late as Thursday, 10th of September. It depends on when TSB gets back and catches up on life.

But, never fear! We still have a post today. In honor of Sterling Knight, one of the many genetic experiments from the Disney farm, being a Power Rangers fan, we give you our dream casting for the inevitable Disney Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Reboot. (Okay, we actually asked TSB's BFFs at Tweenage Wasteland for help, and they offered a lot of suggestions. Also, thanks to lj user jedinewsie")

Zack: Dances while doing a completely unrelated sport and looks really good without a shirt? Look, there's only one Disney star who pulls all of those off, and that is the ever fabulous Corbin Bleu.

Another possible option for Zack is Chris Warren Jr. What say you?

Kimberly: The initial suggestion was Demi Lovato (and queenriley is very sad that she knew how to spell that without having to look it up), followed by Selena Gomez. Neither of those suggestions really worked, so then we thought of Jennette McCurdy and her awesome hair. However, the best suggestion is Ashley Tisdale, who has proven that she can work valley girl like nobody else, but still have a major heart.

Billy: We're going to give this one to Sterling Knight, because he totally needs to be in this, considering he loves the show. And also we can't think of anyone else. Plus, he's totally adorkable and nerdy, so he does work for Billy.

Trini: Brenda Song. She is awesome and has a black belt. Automatic in.

Jason: David Henrie! This one was actually the hardest one to cast, until queenriley pointed out that David Henrie is actually really built, and then we were both disturbed, but since he has really nice arms, he can be Jason. (queenriley says: He looks all small and normal until he takes off his shirt and then, BAM! Wow! It's a little freakish, actually, how nice his arms really are. So distracting... oh yeah, totally Jason)

Tommy: Zac Efron. Troy Bolton and Tommy Oliver were clearly separated at birth.

Bulk: Andrew Caldwell, the guy who plays Thor from Hannah Montana. He was born for this role. Plus, he totally plays well off Jason Earles (see below). Those two have genius comedic timing.

Skull: In the tradition of Skull having serious acting chops, we're going for the "how the hell is he older than the both of us, no really", amazingness of Jason Earles. Who also has decent chemistry with the guy we've cast as Bulk (see above). (queenriley says: and besides, I found/find Jason Narvy totally adorkably hot, and I find Jason Earles totally adorkable, so it works for me.)

Rita: The mom from Suite Life, Kim Rhodes (queenriley says= Yay! I actually had to look something up for this post, finally!). She's pretty great at acting shrill and being exasperated because of annoying teenagers.

We'd like to make a point that we have purposefully left out all three of the Jonii and both Cyrus "actors". There will be no Jonii in this and I (being queenriley) wouldn't want either Miley or Billy Ray to even LOOK at this askew. Keep them away. *hiss* (second_batgirl does not have as much of an objection to Miley Cyrus, mostly because she really wants the inevitable crossover where it turns out that Miley Cyrus is a mutant. Look, the writer of Cable has been joking about her being the mutant baby, it is totally possible. OTOH, please keep the Jonii FAR away from this.)

It has also been requested that queenriley let it be known that she is a Mean Mom. Having finally watched and caught up on RPM (omg so much love), she spent an hour this afternoon holding the television hostage. The Spawn, being Drama Queen and Emo Kid, were deprived of some of their Saturday cartoons. You see the things I do for Power Rangers, dear readers? The poor traumatized, deprived children. (also, Drama Queen says she might actually want to watch Power Rangers with me if it featured Corbin Bleu... will wonders never cease? ... and yes, that whole paragraph was really just a way to sneak in more Corbin pictures)

Episode 33- The Yolk's On You

I'd like to take a moment to thank the lovely ladies at Tweenage Wasteland for bringing this to our attention. It's a video and the point of interest starts about a minute in. Apparently one of the Disney Tweeny Bopper stars grew up watching Power Rangers and he totally geeks out about it. His name is Sterling Knight, which I hope is a stage name, because otherwise... well... did his parents really hope he'd grow up to work in a gay strip club? Seriously? Sterling Knight... of all the things to name your kid. Anyway, I don't know much about him other than he's twenty years old and looks like he's twelve, and he rants about the cast change in season two. And he thinks Tommy is awesome when he's evil and Saba was cool. So there you go. Power Rangers in the mainstream.

As for tonight's episode, well, they probably should have just called it Monsters Addicted to Drugs and been done with it. Instead they bogged it down with this whole superfluous plot about the rangers being in a talent show.

First we see Jason and Tommy walking down a hallway that looks like the hallway outside of the Youth Center. They enter a room that looks suspiciously like the Youth Center. Except a stage has been added. This is apparently the theatre of Angel Grove High. That looks JUST LIKE the Youth Center. And Ernie is there for some reason. They were really short on sets first season, yeah? Anyway, Jason looks as if he's been thoroughly... um... enjoyed by Tommy. Tommy regretfully informs him that he's forgotten their karate belts and must go back and get them so once again, off he runs. Alone. Through the park. This... isn't going to end well, is it?

Meanwhile, Finster creates a monster and sends it to Earth. Rita flips out because she didn't know about it and didn't authorize it. It's okay though! It's Rita's birthday and the monster is Finster's present to her. AWWWWWWW! So freaking adorable.

Tommy runs through the park, alone, and sure enough, it doesn't end well. After doing some random martial arts against the leaves of a tree, Tommy is attacked for real by putties! Four of them! Oh no, whatever will he do! Uh... get beaten, of course. Despite being the best martial artist in all of Angel Grove, he can't handle four putties. He ends up tied up, yet again, by a hanging net with one putty holding his communicator and another holding his morpher. We assume he lost so easily because he's overtired and distracted by having just made hot, manly love to Jason. It's really the only logical explanation.

And here we get to the real meat of the story. The monster, named Fang, is in search of his gooney bird eggs. He needs them, you see. Unfortunately, Squat and Baboo have eaten them all. Fang FLIPS OUT. He goes ballistic and starts yelling and fighting. Goldar tells him the Power Rangers have his eggs and he goes running off looking for his fix.

Back at the talent show that is being held in the not-the-Youth Center, Billy is wearing a cowboy hat (and I am TRAUMATIZED by it I tell you, traumatized) and Bulk and Skull are adorably punk. Principal Caplan yells at them a lot and then the rangers run out to the not-the-Youth-Center-Hallway and answer their communicators. They learn that Tommy is all tied up AGAIN and they have to morph and go fight a monster. I'm wondering why anybody is surprised by Tommy getting tied up by putties anymore. It seems to happen on a fairly regular basis. He really ought to learn to carry a pocketknife or something.


The Rangers try to fight the monster, but Goldar is still there and he blasts them with some fire something and throws them off a cliff. They weren't standing near a cliff, but Angel Grove geography makes no sense and off they go. In Jason's case, twice. Yes, Jason got thrown off the top of the cliff twice. He's just talented like that.

We see Tommy again and he's trying to get out of the net. I was bothered by it earlier, but now I just want to yell. He needs to get himself to his hairstylist. What he's sporting now? It's atrocious. I don't give a rat's tuches about hair and even I know that boy needs some serious help. It's so... distractingly bad.

Rita shows up on Earth and talks to Fang. She promises to get him some eggs if he'll do her bidding and he's going through such withdraw pains right now that he would lick her feet if she told him there was gooney bird egg goo on them. She makes him grown and reveals that he is secretly Wolverine! His adamantium claws grow with him and we squee with delight. Since Batman already exists in the Power Rangers universe, now it is Marvel's turn (which makes sense since Disney just bought Marvel) this totally works. The Rangers call their Zords, wonder where Tommy is, and after what seems to be the longest MegaZord sequence in existence, they attempt to fight Fang. Poor guy just wants his fix, however, and can't stop talking about those darn gooney bird eggs.

Tommy gets out of the net and shows up to the fight, late as usual, and they call Titanus just in time to stop Fang from destroying the dam. Where the dam came from, we don't know. Why they thought Fang wanted to destroy the dam, we also don't know. Fang just wants his gooney bird eggs. This whole mess could have been avoided if they'd just given him some eggs or checked him into rehab. It would have been much easier than summoning three zord combinations and then blowing him up. Which is what they had to do.

Back at the talent show they discuss the fight backstage with Ernie standing right there. Secret identity FAIL, Rangers! Anyway, Tommy and Jason do some coordinated martial arts and everybody oohs and aahs as if they've never seen Jason and Tommy do martial arts before. They walk off stage with Tommy's arm around Jason's waist. Luckily Zack doesn't seem to mind. Perhaps he's moved on. Bulk and Skull get a turn next. They do a pretty decent punk routine, and I actually really liked it, but the rest of the audience... doesn't. Surprise surprise. Kimberly claps for them, at least.

Overall, this was a pretty consistent episode! Only 2 fish for this one.

List time:
covered in food- Nobody!
Billy speak- none, but at least he didn't sing country *shudder*, so I can live without the Billy speak.