Friday, December 18, 2009

Episode 69- The Beetle Invasion

Today on Power Rangers, I am reminded of lots of things that aren't Power Rangers!

We start out in the Youth Center. Ernie is playing broomball. He's apparently agreed to a match against the Stone Canyon team. The only problem is Ernie and Angel Grove don't actually have a broomball team. We had to squee for a few minutes because, hello, Stone Canyon! Setting up early perhaps? :D So Ernie tries to talk to rangers into playing for his team. They're a little hesitant. Until, that is, the Stone Canyon team comes in to hang up fliers. Why they're plastering the neighboring city with fliers for their team I don't know, but roll with it. They're total jerks. So because of their dickwad-ish attitude, the rangers agree to play for Ernie's team.

Meanwhile, Zedd has been watching. He's OBSESSED with Tommy. I mean, like, Goldar and Jason level obsessed. So Zedd/Tommy is now the OTHER Love That Daren't Speak It's Name. He plans on using the mascot for the Stone Canyon team, a beetle, and making a monster out of it that will drain Tommy's power.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull come in with a giant pig nose. Bulk bought it off the back of a comic book. Aw, Bulk reads comics! Awesome. Anyway, they plan to use it to sniff out the power rangers. Not sure how that will work, but it's kind of cute, so I go with it. And here is where we meet Ritchie. He's the new kid in school and he wants to play for Ernie's team, but alas, the team is full. But Ernie says Ritchie can co-captain. And Trini swoons.

In the next scene, Tommy and Kim are running alone in the park. This means they'll be attacked by putties. It ALWAYS happens. So Zedd sends down some putties and they fight for a bit. They knock Tommy down a lot and Kim has taken lessons on how to vogue mid-fight. Instead of calling for backup, they morph and fight some more. Zordon is still apparently trying to sabotage Tommy because he doesn't alert the others until Kim calls for help. They morph and end up fighting the beetle monster who knocks Tommy down again and then drains his powers. While explaining that he's draining his powers.

They finally have to go to the Command Center where Billy analyzes some data and discovers that Tommy is just fine health wise. He agrees he feels fine, just weak. They then try to figure out what the beetle did to Tommy. Um. He drained Tommy's powers. He kind of explained that already. While he was doing it. It was really quite obvious, I assure you.

Then Alpha and Billy say some technobabble which I totally missed because I was too busy being distracted by the big school of fish swimming across the screen. I mean, by the explanation for power ranger energies and transducers and power replacement. It was really just a bunch of fish here. Billy tells Alpha to construct a transducer that can rebuild Tommy's powers, or something to that effect, and I swear Billy is very pretty and smart, but really all it sounded like was "Hey Alpha, take this fishing pole and go catch us a plot device, mkay?".

Morphed, they leave Tommy behind and go fight the beetle monster thing again. Zack takes him on by himself and the others just kind of stand back and watch. What were they doing this whole time? We're not sure. We do have a theory though. I believe they were distracted by his very lovely arse. I'm sure Jason was standing there saying "Hang on Zack, I'd love to jump in and help you here, but DAMN you're a fine piece of ass." which would totally explain why they... well... just stood there.

Jason then actually says they need to get the monster to leave the Conveniently Abandoned Rock Quarry so they can fight him on their own ground. So he runs off. And the others follow because they can't do anything else. Apparently they needed a big pile of fish to fight on.

Back at the Command Center, Tommy asks Alpha to explain the transducer. He sort of did, but I missed it because every time they mention the word transducer, I could only think of one thing. "This sonic transducer...it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device?"

Back at the fight, they end up in hill country. They call the power weapons and almost have the beetle monster, but Zedd makes him grow. I predict this before it even happens.
"and it grows
and they'll call the zords
and they'll form the thundermegazord
and they'll fight for a minute
and then they'll pull out the thunder sword
and the fight will be over"
And that's basically what happened. It grew. It knocked them over. They fell over in the cockpit. Billy and Zack made a Jason sandwich. They stand up. Jason tells them to get to battle stations, which always leads me to Captain Picard, even though I thought they already WERE at battle stations. They fight some more. They pull out the thunder sabre. The thunder sabre saves the day. End of fight. Surprise surprise surprise.

Zedd isn't upset he lost, though, because they drained Tommy's powers. He is really obsessed.

Back at the Youth Center, the Angel Grove team beats the pants off the Stone Canyon team. They're playing broomball in the very confined space of the Youth Center. And they're all wearing goggles. We can't help but to hope/imagine that they're slash goggles. Tommy makes the winning shot by possibly breaking the rules. And then they talk about Tommy losing his powers in the middle of the Youth Center. Way to go, guys. Because nobody will overhear you or anything.

List time!

5 fish. Solidly. I missed half the episode because that big school of fish kept taking over the screen.

Billy speak: "I thought there was a large coleoptera on that poster."

"Perhaps Alpha can construct a green energy transducer that will recapture Tommy's powers."

Covered in food: nobody

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Episode 68 - The Power Stealer

Today on Power Rangers - we link to a bunch of youtube clips and Kimberly's outfit is so awesome that even queenriley noticed. Plus, Tommy gets tied up a lot. (He and Dick Grayson should be friends. I feel that my Sims are going to need an update.)

Anyway, the actual episode begins with them having to clean up Angel Grove, even though we just did this thirty episodes ago. Man, Angel Grove must get dirty really fast. I guess that people don't bother to clean up unless people are organizing a whole big thing? Captain Planet does not approve!

This time the clean up club (not that they're calling it this, but we like to pretend that there's some continuity in the show) is being interviewed by a new reporter. For some reason, the Rangers in their civilian IDs are the ones that they're talking to. I guess Angel Grove is having a slow news day - maybe there haven't been any monster attacks yet this week? The reporter asks them if they think that there's any truth to the rumor that the Power Rangers will show up. The Rangers prove to be the worst liars ever.

Two questions arise from this - first, how did this rumor get started? The Rangers have clearly not said that they would go, and honestly, why would they bother? Superheroes never help clean things up. I read enough comics to know that. Second, why would they ask a random bunch of kids if they know the Rangers? Clearly, this means that the only people in Angel Grove who don't know their identities are Bulk and Skull, and honestly, I'm not that convinced that Skull doesn't know.

Also, they have a VCR and videotape. We are SO OLD.

Bulk and Skull come up with today's grand plan to unmask the Rangers - they are going to pull the rangers helmets off while they're on tv. Oh, boys, this isn't Scooby Doo. It doesn't work like that. Zedd also has a plan - he's going to unleash the Octophantom to capture the Rangers and drain their powers.

At the park, Tommy (in the most ridiculous pants ever) is being interviewed when Putties show up. Everyone runs away when Jason tells them to. Seriously, why is everyone following Jason's orders? Isn't anyone worried about him?

The camera keeps running while Tommy, Jason and Kim fight and then morph. This is clearly not going to end well. Tommy falls down a lot, and Tommy yells that it's a trap! and both of us fall over laughing. Tommy gets captured (and tied up - seriously, I'd forgotten how often that happens. Between this and Batman: The Animated Series, I apparently watched a lot of borderline inappropriate things as a child - Dic Grayson is the only character in existence who gets tied up more than Tommy does) and Jason and Kim teleport to the Command Center without destroying the tape. Bulk and Skull then take the camera to expose the Rangers identities.

You know, the fact that Zedd knows enough to try and remove Tommy first actually speaks well of him. It's easier to beat 5 Rangers than 6. Not a bad idea, really!

Lord Zedd decides to send his monster back down to vandalize Angel Grove (and ruin the Pacific Heritage monuments) in the hopes that the pollution will draw out the Rangers. No, Zedd, the people who should show up if you do that are Captain Planet and the Planeteers. But since they weren't available, the Rangers show up. Kimberly, Zack and Trini also get captured, and Billy figures out that the monster's weakness is that it is Gaston. In other words, it's weakness is mirrors. Again.

Billy needs to go build another mirror weapon, so Jason has to go fight the Octophantom (which is apparently a cross between an octopus and an elephant, although we feel this is wrong. It is actually Cthulhu.) Jason goes to fight by himself, and he tells the monster that he's not alone - his friends are with him in spirit and fights. Billy eventually shows up with a weird mirror shield (stopping the monster from catching Jason in the process. Because Billy is awesome.) and then rescues the others while Jason fights the monster. (Why the monster brought the captured Rangers with him, we don't know.) Tommy is so weak by this point that his green has faded to gray, and Billy forces Tommy to go to the Command Center. Because Tommy is useless.

Anyway, the monster grows, they summon the thunderzord, you know the drill.

Back at the Youth Center, we are reminded that Tommy's powers are failing. Bulk and Skull show up with their tape, which apparently they haven't bothered to watch themselves yet. Zack and Billy manage to switch the tapes, so when it goes on, they actually show a cartoon. Everyone laughs, and the Rangers mutter that this was a close one.

Fish: Two. Nothing really jumped out at us.

Questions: Why is this monster's weakness vanity? What does that have to do with an octopus?

Fic people should write us: Who would win in a fight? Captain Planet vs Lord Zedd
What would happen if Bulk and Skull had managed to expose the Rangers' identities?

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Episode 67- The Green Dream

Yay! We get to use the Tommy is better when he's evil tag again!

So we start the episode out at the end of class. The students are reminded that their essay is due on Friday. It needs to be 500 words long and about something that interests them. Clearly, the rangers are either in third grade or attend TSB's grad school and this is their final.

Bulk and Skull haven't started theirs yet, but they decide they're going to write about finding out the real identities of the Power Rangers. Oh boys. *pets*

In the hallway, Tommy doesn't hear Kim because he's thinking about the nightmare he's had three nights in a row now. He's dreaming about losing his powers. This is actually a completely normal and healthy response to something major in one's life and for all that I dislike the character, his wooby face makes me want to give him a hug. Meanwhile, they talk VERY LOUDLY about losing the green ranger powers in the middle of the hallway. Secret identities. They don't work like that.

Zedd overhears from the moon (but none of the kids standing next to them do?) and decides to take advantage of that little nightmare. Oh, Zedd! *dreamy fangirl sigh*

At the Youth Center, Billy explains a device he's created that scrambles electronic waves up to twenty feet. He's determined to build an even bigger version that can scramble Zedd's electronic waves from the moon. How that won't interfere with anything else, I'm not sure, but it's Billy and he's awesome so I'll go along with it. Tommy joins them and talks about how hard the paper is going to be and his nightmares and how he fails at being Emo Ranger. He's off to the library to find a book on mythology, as that's what he's decided to write his paper on. Before he can leave, however, Bulk and Skull come in with some sort of device. It's somehow going to find some specific signal to tell them who the rangers are. They almost hone in on our six heroes when Billy sets off his scrambler and directs Bulk and Skull to Ernie. Ernie's pretending is kind of cute, actually. Defeated, they leave and Tommy follows. At some point Jason was mocking Bulk and Skull, but I was too busy being distracted by his pretty pretty arms to notice what he said.

Tommy's alone in the park, which is never a good thing. Sure enough, he's attacked by putties, captured, and teleported to the Cave of Captivity where he's confronted by Goldar. Goldar is rather sad he had to get Tommy instead of Jason. Tommy swears he won't go evil again and then is promptly put under a spell and swears his allegiance to Lord Zedd. Oh Tommy. Good try there, honey.

He goes back to the Youth Center, his kidnapping and spell going completely unnoticed, and then Zordon calls them all to the Command Center. Apparently Zedd has sent down the Robogoat. Tommy wants to fight, they want him to conserve his powers, yada yada yada. He has a suggestion! Maybe the Convenient Plot Device, I mean, the Sword of Power (which I don't think we ever see again), can infuse him with enough power to fight now! They summon it, he reveals his evilness, and teleports away with the Convenient Plot Device. He gives it to the Robogoat and suddenly the spell is broken. Why? Why let him be good again? I can only assume the plan was intercepted by a large school of fish.

He fights, he falls, his power starts to fail, whatever. This whole time Zordon "can't locate his signal" so the rangers are just kind of standing around. As soon as Tommy is down for good, Zordon miraculously finds him. Now, he can analyze a monster in a matter of seconds, he can teleport people into a supposedly impenetrable dark dimension, and yet he can't find Tommy out in the open in the "we fight here every day" abandoned rock quarry. I'm beginning to think Zordon does this on purpose and it's all an evil plot to get rid of Tommy for good. He's purposely sabotaging Tommy. Or maybe he just got distracted by the fish. Either way.

So the others morph and go fight the Robogoat. He bleats evilly at them which really is more adorable than threatening. I just want to scritch him between his little horns.

The rangers, excluding Jason, fall into a hole and disappear. Jason fights the Robogoat for the Convenient Plot Device. Zordon manages to teleport it back to the Command Center, Robogoat lets the other rangers out of energy bubbles (but they fell in a hole in the ground! FISHY FISH FISH what?), and then they all summon zords and fight. Tommy is sad because he is almost out of power and even Dragonzord won't come fight. The other rangers use their spiffy sword to blow up the monster, and the fight is over. Darn.

Back at a very empty school, Tommy is sitting on the steps trying to be Emo Ranger. Kim is trying to comfort him and Jason either needs acting lessons or really actually doesn't care because he's more condescending than comforting.

List time:
3.5 fish... the Convenient Plot Device was the only glaring problem, but get enough little fish and it adds up.

Billy speak: "It's capable of scrambling electronic signals up to 20 feet away." I consider it borderline Billy speak, but it's all we get this episode, so there you go.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Episode 66 - Bloom Of Doom

Today on Power Rangers - Kimberly and Trini are totally girlfriends BFF, Bulk proposes the greatest crossover since we found out Batman exists in the Power Rangers Universe and Kimberly proves why she is my favorite female Ranger.

So, we open with a club fair. Apparently this is the last day to sign up for clubs. If you move in the middle of the year you aren't allowed to join. Sorry, Stone Canyon Trio! Also, it appears that you can only sign up for one club. Angel Grove makes no sense.

Zack is running a hip hop kido club, which means we get gratuitous shots of him dancing. *fans self* You know, they could just show us 22 minutes of that, I'd have no real problem. Jason, Tommy and Billy don't seem to have any clubs (really, Billy, you aren't running Young Scientists of America? And Jason and Tommy aren't doing something martial arts related? Okay, whatever, we guess they're busy joining the fishing club.) Trini is running the volleyball club, and the show remembered that Kimberly has an interest in flowers so points for continuity! Nobody seems to be interested in joining Kimberly's club, they're all signing up for Trini's. Poor Kimberly is a little bit jealous, which is a perfectly normal reaction. And really, how many high school students are going to sign up for a gardening club?

Zedd sees a sign of weakness among the Rangers, and decides to put a spell on Kimberly to magnify her jealousy and tear the team apart. At least that's what he says he's going to do - unfortunately it appears that a fish got in the way of his plans. Anyway, he sends a putty down to replace Kimberly's cactus with one that will put a spell on her, instead of just hitting it with something from space. The putty has long hair and a trenchcoat. Clearly, he's evil. And we lose a few minutes laughing hysterically.

Oh, and did we mention that Bulk and Skull are running the unsolved mysteries club? How much do we love them, seriously. Of course, we find out that they had to bribe people to join their club, and I just want to hug them both, even if they are horribly mean to Kimberly.

While the putty is stealing Kim's cactus, Ernie makes Kim a drink, and is very much the inappropriate friends, the older generation. Oh, Ernie, we know that you're just trying to make sure that the Rangers all stay emotionally stable.

Anyway, Kimberly talks to her cactus, and then is under a spell. Amy Jo Johnson does bitchy really well. Ernie suggests that Tommy give her some flowers to cheer her up, but really, it doesn't count if Tommy doesn't think of it himself. Kimberly bitches out both Trini and Tommy, and then goes off to her garden. Seriously, I love her so much.

Trini's first practice for volleyball club is apparently 15 minutes after the club fair ends, which makes me assume that she didn't help clean up. Fail, Trini! She's also not very good at teaching volleyball, but we'll forgive her. Especially because her hair is adorable. Soon after Jason and Tommy show up to discuss Kim, and Trini's practice must have been really short. They say that normally Kim wouldn't be upset about nobody signing up for her club, because Rangers aren't allowed to experience any sort of negative emotion, they must be happy and perky all the time. No wonder Tommy is so much better when he's evil.

While this is going on, Zedd creates the Bloom of Doom, which will give everyone bad allergies. Speaking as someone with horrible allergies, this is a perfectly good way to conquer the planet. Zordon notices the monster (although he hasn't yet realized that Kimberly is under a spell) and tells the Rangers to go to the cityside of the park. The cityside? How big is this park? How does the geography work? Is the other side the beach? Angel Grove geography makes no sense!

Trini is concerned that Tommy's powers will fail, but Zordon says it is up to Tommy, and Tommy is determined to go fight.

Meanwhile, in Kimberly's garden, her communicator beeps, and Kimberly does the best over the top perky voice ever when she answers. Oh, Kim, I ♥ you. Zordon comes up with a new weapon for her, which is a ribbon. It will... do something. IDK.

The Rangers all go to fight the monster and the fish take over the episode. What's the point of Zedd's plan again? Kimberly is still fighting the monster, and the other Rangers are concerned about her, but it isn't tearing the team apart, so I really don't know what Zedd was trying to accomplish. However, the Bloom of Doom spits its fire pollen at them, and they are so overcome by the allergens that they start doing flips. Kimberly almost manages to destroy the monster with her ribbon thing, but Trini tries to finish off the monster by hitting it, which temporarily shreds the ribbon, and Kim yells at her. That isn't really Trini's fault, nobody bothered to fill her in on the new weapon. Fail, Zordon! Anyway, somehow Kim gets stuck in another dimension, the other Rangers all miraculously recover from their allergy attacks, and they go back to the Command Center to discuss.

Billy's suggestion is that Trini needs to throw her daggers at a 90 degree angle and that will a) free Kimberly and b) break the spell.

... OH, SHOW. For real? Okay. I guess that isn't quite as bad as negative protons. Trini does so, and Kim is free, and then they all summon the power weapons and defeat the Bloom of Doom.

Back at the Youth Center, the club fair is still apparently going on, since there are a bunch of girls who were apparently sent to the wrong location to sign up. The principal apologizes for messing up the ad in the school paper (... the principal does the ad in the paper? Oh, Angel Grove. Fail harder.) and Kimberly says next time she'll call all the girls personally. But if she knew they wanted to sign up, why didn't she call them before she flipped out? Meanwhile, she apologizes to Trini for being a giant bitch, even though she was under a spell. Whatever.

Bulk and Skull show up and threaten to reveal the identities of the power rangers. They don't. For some reason the Rangers actually appeared worried.

Oh, and Bulk introduces himself as Indiana Bulk, and I demand that a crossover exist immediately

Fish: 3.5. Zedd's plan makes no sense.

Billy speak: "It's incendiary pollen, I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust."
"If you throw your daggers at a 90 degree directional course"

Questions: Describe the geography of Angel Grove. We'll give you a cookie if you can!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Episode 65- Putty on the Brain

So today's episode is one I've watched rather often. It's a good Billy AND Zack episode, and I've always loved it, fish-filled though it is.

We start off with Zack running up to Billy in the school hallway with some sunglasses on. They're 90'slicious, dear readers. Zack has a pair for Billy as well as apparently they are supposed to be the protective eyewear for science class. Okay then...

Zedd sees this little exchange and decides to shake things up amongst the rangers. He puts a spell on the glasses so Billy and Zack will see the others as putties. Goldar tries to throw some logic into the plan and points out that they could just take the glasses off, but Zedd scoffs at the mere thought, seeing as the rangers are "no mere humans", and continues on with his dastardly plan.

So Zack and Billy put on their glasses, in the hallway and not in science class at all, and get zapped by evil red light. Suddenly Tommy, at his locker across the hall, looks like a putty. And comments on how he almost overslept and is late (is he ever anything else?). Kim and Jason come up and also look like putties. Billy and Zack freak out, can't seem to tell the voices are coming from the "putties", and "rescue" Principal Caplan by knocking him down when he walks up. As he's wont to do to students who accidentally knock him over, he gives them detention.

Bulk and Skull are walking down the hall trying to figure out who the power rangers are when Mrs. Applebee corners them. She needs them to feed her pet iguana while she runs off some copies of the test. Why she has let the iguana reach a point of starvation that it must be fed right that minute and couldn't wait for her to finish the copies, I'm not sure, but as she's entrusting the job to Bulk and Skull and insists it must be done, the situation must be pretty dire for the poor iguana. Bulk dumps an entire box of iguana food, which looks suspiciously like Cheerios, into the tank. Skull says he'll grow big and strong, and then he does. Because Lord Zedd has turned him into a monster. And somehow gotten hold of a salamander to cross with iguana with to make the monster. I... got lost a bit there. Bulk and Skull, probably getting used to monsters appearing in front of them now, wait a beat before freakout.

Later, in detention, Bulk and Skull slip on Billy and Zack's sunglasses. They get zapped by evil red light and suddenly see Billy and Zack as putties. They drop the glasses and run out of the room in their second freakout in the span of about five minutes. We're pretty sure the spell wasn't supposed to affect normal humans at all, but maybe that just means Bulk and Skull should have been power rangers.

In the park, Billy and Zack are confused about their sexuality. Zedd has determined that they're going to "finish each other off". Oh show, you and your slashy goodness, you just make it so EASY. Zack figures out that some putties on the playground equipment are not, in fact, their friends and they fight for a bit. The others teleport in and Zack and Billy can't figure out who is ranger and who is putty. They fight anyway. Zack accidentally attacks Trini and only then do they decide maybe, just maybe, they ought to contact Zordon about this little vision problem of theirs.

Zordon tells them of more pressing matters with the Salamander Iguana Monster Thing. Apparently it can breathe fire. The brilliant plan is for Billy to create an ice device to cool it down and this will beat the monster. They apparently forget just what luck Billy has with monster-beating devices.

Tommy says he has to stay behind because he forgot to recharge his powers again and the others wait anxiously to go fight. Billy and Zack go to Billy's awesome garage to build the ice device and it seems to take no time at all. Trini teleports in and tries morphing to see if she still looks like a putty when morphed. She doesn't. She looks "like the yellow ranger" and the only thing I could think of was "only with breasts!". Problem temporarily solved! They have to rush off and fight with the device untested, of course. Why do I sense a "science doesn't work that way" coming up?

So they go fight and somehow Billy and Zack end up separated from the others. They try Billy's ice device but, unsurprisingly, it doesn't work. Why am I not surprised? Billy discovers it's missing an extra computer chip that he just so happens to have on him... somewhere... and he slides it into place. Magically, that solved everything and the device now works. This stalls the Salamander Iguana Monster Thing long enough for the others to... come from wherever they'd been hiding. They blast him with the power weapons and almost destroy him but Zedd makes him grow. We're treated to a really long zord summoning sequence and oh I didn't miss these at all. They pull out the Thunder Sword, which I can only assume is the Power Sword: The Next Generation, because it does the exact same thing as the power sword. It magically saves the day and destroys the monster.

Back at school, the iguana appears in the middle of class. Jason, Kim, and Tommy come running in with the sunglasses in hand. Apparently Alpha was able to use some special energy beam and reverse the spell. And if you buy that as proper science, I have some amazing ocean front property in Arizona I'd love to sell you. It works and Billy and Zack can see their friends as normal again. Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have discovered the iguana and make adorable iguana faces at him while trying to get him to sniff out the power rangers. The rest of the class runs screaming for some reason.

I'm left wondering why Bulk and Skull don't still see Billy and Zack as putties. After all, they were affected by the spell and never received the counter-spell to negate the evil magic. So shouldn't they still see Billy and Zack as putties? They must have run into some fish interference.

List time:
3 fish. Not too bad, but there were some glaring contradictions.

Billy speak: "The lenses and frames seem especially sturdy. They should be more than adequate to protect our eyes during our lab experiment."

Covered in food: Nobody, but Skull was covered in iguana, and adorably so I might add.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Episode 64 - The Wanna-Be Ranger

This episode reminds me of why I love this show - it was completely ridiculous but totally awesome. And also it makes me want fanfic. Warning, there are spoilers for RPM in this recap, because Queenriley and I spent about half the episode discussing a ridiculous crossover. Also, this is our first Alpha centric episode! Oh, Alpha. We love you a whole lot, even if you are the whiniest robot ever. Also, please stop trying to be cool. This is only going to lead to Alpha Six, and I cannot deal with that.

Anyway, we open again with the new theme. We like the new theme. However, it just isn't the same without Rita yelling that she's free and it's time to conquer Earth. Plus, teenagers with attitude! We miss that! :(

Anyway, the actual episode starts with a basketball game. Frankly, we're amazed that they got Billy to play. We shouldn't be that surprised, since Billy has already proved he's awesome at basketball but we still think that Billy playing sports is out of character. Besides, he's supposed to sit on the sidelines and then get turned into a punk. Then their game is interrupted when a gorilla puts his hand on Kim's shoulder.

It is not a monster, but Zack in a monkey suit! Honestly, considering they live in Angel Grove and do get turned into monsters a lot, you would think that Zack would know better than to pull a stunt like that, but no. He gives some excuse about entertaining tiny children, which we assume is code for "spending time with Angela in the hopes that she'll think he's adorable and kiss him again." Zack, honey, we really don't think Angela is a furry. Jason tells him to get out of the suit and play some b-ball, and we aren't sure whether to laugh at the 90s slang, make fun of Jason's hair (I think you overdid it on the gel, Jason), make fun of Jason's ridiculously 90s jeans, or be pleased that Jason wants Zack to take off his clothes.

However, their communicators then go off, and the team goes to the Command Center, where Zordon tells them that he will temporarily de-ionize and be depowered. He also says that Alpha will be monitoring things and they should listen for his signal. We're not sure why this is such a big deal, I mean, Zordon Fails half the time anyway. He fades out and then the Rangers all leave, while Alpha starts to monitor things. He notices a little boy is lost in Angel Grove Park, and thinks he should call the Rangers. I love how apparently the Rangers rescue little children. I wonder if they also fetch cats out of trees. Someone should write that. However, he decides instead that it should be "Alpha Ranger to the rescue!" and he teleports out to go rescue the kid.

Alpha Ranger to the rescue is never going to stop being funny to me.

Anyway, to get on with the plot, Zedd decides to take advantage of the situation and create the Primator out of Zack's monkey suit. (I am still sad that monkey suit is not a tux. Zack in a tux would have been hot.)

At the park, Alpha finds the kid, who is named Dillon, and at that point Queenriley and I start plotting ridiculous insane crossover fic where the kid ends up actually being Dillon from RPM. He even looks (a little) like a baby Dillon! He's got the right color hair and eyes anyway! Look, we know that RPM technically takes place way in the future, but there is a way to make it work. And he tries to teach Alpha how to play soccer!

The Primator can apparently turn into any of the Rangers, and we're pleased that it's another evil twin episode. Especially because David Yost does a really good Evil Billy. How awesome would it have been if Billy had been the Evil Green Ranger? Seriously! Also, he's really hot when he's evil.

And evil!Billy says that Alpha is a naughty boy, and I die laughing.

Anyway, when evil!Billy sees himself reflected in Alpha's golden head, he turns back into the monster. But not before trying to make Alpha take him to the Command Center. Alpha activates his self destruct and baby!Dillon takes care of him. Oh, Alpha, you fail so hard.

The monster goes to the Youth Center and turns into Zack, where he tells Kimberly and Trini that Tommy got attacked by putties and is losing his powers and is failing a lot. They believe it, because it is the best excuse ever. Seriously, this monster totally gets Tommy. A++++ show! Also, Trini and Kimberly go right to the park without bothering to try and contact Tommy. They don't believe in communicators. Evil!Zack promises to look for Billy and Jason. I also love how they don't bother to question how Zack knows this - do they think he just left Tommy behind? Or what?

The girls get to the park, and when they don't see anything, they try and contact the guys, who are in Billy's garage with headphones on doing... something. We don't know. However, they can't hear their communicators. Apparently Jason can hear his over the sound of a motor bike but not with the earphones on. Also, I love how this is totally "listening for Alpha's signal". On the bright side, the girls get to fight putties and be awesome.

By the time they finish their fight, the guys have moved back to the Youth Center, and... well, that must have been a long fight. Otherwise, I've got nothing to explain how they moved so quickly. They looked pretty involved in Billy's lab. Just saying.

Kimberly and Trini start to yell at the guys for not being there. Can we say major secret identity fail? They just discuss it in the middle of the Youth Center! Oh, and then they use their communicators to try and contact Alpha. Still in the middle of the Youth Center. Of course, he doesn't answer because he is still lying in the middle of the park with baby!Dillon taking care of him. Longest self destruct sequence ever.

The Ranger teleport to the Command Center (luckily not from the middle of the Youth Center) and Zordon is back, just in time. He tells them about the new monster They figure out that it wasn't really Zack who told Kimberly and Trini to go to the park, and Kim apologizes.

The Rangers go to find the monster, which pretends to be Trini. They can't figure out which Yellow Ranger is the real one, so instead of having Kimberly Billy kiss her, Jason says that both of them should attack him. Because... I don't know. Fish. One Trini says that she can't because they're friends, and the other one attacks him. Gee, I wonder which one is the fake? (On the bright side, at least these evil Rangers have the right color gloves.)

Then the Primator turns into the Red Ranger, and Jason gets really pissed. He's all "No Red Ranger imitations allowed! Even Goldar knew that! Fake!Jason can totally shoot energy from his helmet, but regular Jason can't. At least we've never noticed that.

The Rangers retreat to the Command Center, and Zordon tells them to use a mirror to reveal the fake. Kimberly, of course, is carrying a giant mirror on her. I'm not really sure where she pulled it from because a) it's a fairly big mirror and b) she's morphed. Seriously, where was she carrying it?

Anyway, they teleport back to the fight, and for some reason only half of them are there, even though they all teleported in together. This will never be explained, just assume that they got hit by a fish. Somehow Kimberly's mirror is now blue and has a triceratops on it, we guess because Billy is carrying it. Tommy shows up and is all "this is too hard! We must surrender!" and for some reason Jason thinks that this is the monster (Oh, fine, we know Tommy probably wouldn't just want to give up) and hits him in the face, and then forces him to look in the mirror. Oh, it is a fake. (Also, why would they bother with the mirror once they figured out he's the fake?)

Then the monster grows and we have a long Zord sequence and it is so awkward, and I wish that I didn't know that the monster and the Zord were from different sentai seasons because so awkward.

After they win, the Rangers go to the park, where Billy deactivates the self destruct on Alpha. Longest self destruct ever. Baby!Dillon is all excited to see them, and he promises never to forget them. Sorry, Dillon, there's that whole Venjix thing in your future. Dillon's mom finally shows up. Took long enough. Seriously, her kid was alone for hours.

Back at the Command Center, Alpha is grounded for a few thousand years.


Fish: 4.5 This episode was amazing but it was still filled with fish.

Fic we want: Seriously, that kid totally grows up to be RPM!Dillon, right?

Friday, November 27, 2009

Episode 63- The Mutiny Part 3

Previously on Power Rangers we discover both piranhas in Angel Grove and Zordon plans to profit.

We get the new opening! Trini looks beautiful. Kim looks adorable. Zack has awesome hair. Billy and Jason are just stunningly GORGEOUS. And Tommy's hair makes me laugh like a cruel, heartless evildoer (TSB disagrees and thinks he looks good... to each their own).

So the Zords stopped attacking for no reason. Then they get turned on the rally. So apparently the monster got smart for once and went after civilians.

The Rangers are still waiting on the signal blocker. Billy and Trini might be able to finish if Zordon would stop interrupting them every five seconds to see if they're done. Of course, it's also my theory that they took some time to relieve some of the intense stress by having a serious make-out session (or, y'know, happy fun naked time). Either way, it's taking awhile and Zordon is impatient. Tommy has to stay behind because his powers are failing him again. He tries to be Emo Ranger but fails miserably. Give it up, Tommy. That role is reserved for Adam.

We see Angel Grove through Lord Zedd vision and are DELIGHTED because it is AWESOME. Somehow the monster magics Bulk and Skull's four wheelers so they go crazy, and then the Tyrannosaurus Zord goes all crazy on the drivers at the rally. Evil controls it way better than Jason does because we had no idea the Tyrannosaurus Zord could do so much damage.

Meanwhile, Zedd makes sure his brilliance astounds everybody. Yes, Lord Zedd, it certainly does. Us included. *fangirl-like sigh of dreaminess*

Back at Billy's lab of Evil Simmering Liquids of Evilness (he's an evil genius, I'm telling you), he and Trini finally finish making out the signal blocker. Billy, who had been wearing his glasses during the building of this device, removes them (sad!) and they teleport to the scene of battle. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Did you check the batteries there, Billy? You seem to have a problem with that.

While Billy tries to figure it out, they blast the piranha monster with the awesome power blaster. It takes him out of the game for a few minutes, but the zords are still going after the rally. Meanwhile, Billy discovers he put the battery in upside down. Again. So he fixes it and they disrupt the signal and all is good, except then Zedd is awesome and glowing red and sends the zords into the pit of a volcano. Or rather, down a crack in the ground into molten lava. I have to wonder though, why is Kim's zord having problems? The darn thing flies OUT OF A VOLCANO! It shouldn't be bothered by being thrown into a pit of lava. Ought to feel like home, really.

So Zordon has Alpha work some impossible magic on the morphing grid and takes the old zords from the molten lava so they can be turned into the new zords. Nod and smile, people. It was a big steaming pile of fish for us too.

Is it can be new zords time nao? Why yes, yes it can! The monster grows, we get the new zords, they form an awesome megazord, and then they destroy the fish monster. Woohoo! Zedd gets mad, goes red again, blames everybody around him, and Finster is all pouty and sulking because Zedd wouldn't use one of his monsters instead.

At the Command Center, Jason is pretty and reassures Tommy that they'll always be friends. They somehow see into Rita's dumpster where she's lonely and singing 99 bottles of slime on the wall. Then everybody laughs at Bulk and Skull who are still trapped on out of control four wheelers. *sigh* There goes that bit of character development. Right out the window.

Back at the rally, Billy and Trini covertly use the signal blocking device to stop Bulk and Skull's four wheelers from going crazy. As they run away, Billy cops a feel. They send Tommy and Kim in to make sure Bulk and Skull are okay, which they are, and Tommy acts all impressed that Bulk and Skull met the Power Rangers. They make Bulk and Skull share a four wheeler while Tommy and Kim take the other one, whereupon Kim insists on driving. Good for her. Tommy would probably forget he's driving and try to kick a rock instead of avoid it, crashing the four wheeler by mistake.

They catch up quickly, but at least they didn't come in first in the race.

List time!
3.5 fish. A little ridiculous, but not too bad overall I suppose.

Billy speak: None. Again.

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 62 - The Mutiny - Part 2

Previously, on Power Rangers - Lord Zedd shows up. The Rangers lose control of their Zords. Kimberly has stylish boots.

The episode begins with Rangers realizing that they still have one zord - Tyrannosaurus. So they send that Zord to attack the monster. I'm still not sure why they summoned it anyway since the monster hasn't grown, but who am I to argue with a fish episode? Anyway, Lord Zedd has the fish monster take control of Tyrannosaurus, and everyone flails around yelling that they need Tommy. We get a shot of Tommy's ass, and then we find out that Tommy's powers are being temporarily recharged by Zordon. He then goes to back everyone up, and summons Dragonzord. Because if this monster can take control of one Zord, there's no way they can take control of Tommy's either, right?

Wrong. Dragonzord gets controlled by the fish monster as well. After it was having trouble beating Tyrannosaurus, even though it has previously beaten the Megazord. IDK.

Meanwhile, Zordon is talking to Alpha about how it is a good thing that they anticipated Zedd's return. We're pretty sure that anticipated is actually code for "noticed it was happening and decided to claim they had been preparing for it." He tells Alpha to prepare for phase 2.

Zordon's plan according to us:
phase one: anticipate the worst case scenario
phase two: make new zords
phase three: ???
phase four: PROFIT!

The Rangers teleport back to the Command Center, and Zack sounds like he's about to cry when he says the Rangers are finished. Don't cry, Zack! There are still 16 more seasons to recap! Zordon tells them to follow Alpha, and there's an AMAZING slow motion walk outside, where Alpha shows them their new Zords.

Jason controls the red dragon thunderzord, his power is fierce and true. Trini controls the griffin, swift and accurate. Zack has the lion, courage and strength. Billy's unicorn has mythological powers and wisdom. Kim's firebird is powerful and agile. Tommy doesn't get a new Zord because his powers are failing. These are changed slightly from what their powers signified back in Day of the Dumpster. (Oh, Billy, stuck with a unicorn. We're sure that Kimberly Trini will be able to help you with that problem.)

Of course, for some reason, even though these new Zords were created to battle Zedd, they can't be used until they regain control of the old Zords. Because Billy is more awesome than a computer, he and Trini go to their lab to figure out how to reprogram them.

Bulk and Skull have an argument about which way to go, and then they get attacked by a monster. The only real thing of note there is that Bulk compares his instincts to that of a homing pigeon.

Oh, and the Rangers go and fight the monster, and they're getting their asses kicked while waiting for Billy and Trini to finish. Seriously, nothing much happens in this episode - just a lot of setup for the finale.

Fish: FOUR. I'm sorry, the thing about the needing the old zords is RIDICULOUS.

Billy Speak: "If we build a device that will interfere with Lord Zedd's signal, we should be able to release the Zords."

Episode 61- The Mutiny Part 1

OMG you guys! Guys! You guys! It's season 2! *bounces*

TSB remembers when this episode aired the first time because it aired in prime time and she made her dad tape it for her. I don't remember it airing in prime time, though I'm sure I was allowed to watch it, since I was OLD and didn't have an early bedtime anymore because did I mention that I was OLD? And yes, I'm older than TSB and CAN'T REMEMBER which is sad.

Anyway, we start off the wonderfulness that is season 2 with the original theme song! Aw. We then find the rangers at a motor bike race to raise money for the local Children's Hospital. It's a fundraiser, and it's NOT a martial arts competition! Angel Grove is branching out. TSB covets Kim's boots (I didn't even notice), Zack is wearing a ridiculous outfit, Bulk has the most awesome helmet ever with a rainbow mohawk, and Jason now has a nice silver hoop earring. And Billy isn't wearing his glasses. Billy. Isn't wearing. His GLASSES! They all look over the map of the racetrack.

Meanwhile, Rita is all ready to send down a monster when there is lots of lightning and thunder and shaking. There is a big muscle guy with no skin wearing gold armour in the sky. Why halo thar Lord Zedd! Rita freaks out. Lord Zedd has come to take over because Rita has failed at destroying the Power Rangers. We spend lots of time fangirling and sighing "OH ZEDD". Like, inordinate amounts.

Back in Angel Grove, Principal Caplan is in charge of the race. He reads off some rules, tells them to drive safe, and then waves the flag to start the race. He's also wearing a hideous brown sweatsuit. Whole sweatsuit. As in, sweat shirt with sweat pants. I'm all for sweat pants, so comfy, and sweat shirts, but not worn together... not in public anyway. So the racers all start their engines and take off. Very very slowly. Slowest start to a race ever, yes?

Back on the moon, Rita is flipping out and Zedd is being commanding and Goldar IMMEDIATELY betrays Rita and grovels in front of Lord Zedd. It is awesome. And we fangirlishly sigh "OH ZEDD" some more.

Jason hears some random thunder that NOBODY ELSE can hear and covertly motions for the others to pull off track. They join him on the side of the road and determine Rita is up to something, so they should listen for their communicators. I'm sure the discussion was important and plot moving, but Jason is pretty so I missed a lot of it. And earring! Did I mention the earring? Not like I have an earrings-on-men kink or anything. *whistles innocently*

On the moon, Zedd is present in his Z throne. Goldar comes into the throne room and Zedd remembers him as Goldar, The Groveling One. SO MUCH LOVE FOR ZEDD. Goldar balks at the snake and it turns into Zedd's staff and we spend a few minutes flailing at his awesomeness. Zedd then gives Goldar back that which he once lost. And his wings are back. We don't know how they were lost in the first place, but they're back now! Rita attempts (and fails) to grovel and beg for another chance while Squat and Baboo look on through peepholes.

At the race, Jason's communicator beeps very quietly, but he's special and oh so pretty so of course he hears it. They all join him off road and they go to the Command Center to talk to Zordon. They learn about Lord Zedd and how he's more powerful than Rita and yada yada yada, but mostly I'm distracted by Zack's ridiculous pink outfit and how constipated Jason looks. And Billy. Who is HAWT. Not just hot, not just pretty, not just drop dead gorgeous, he's downright HAWT with his hair all styled and no glasses (though I LOVE glasses too) and fashionable wardrobe. Oh Billy. *dreamy sigh* (though I do admit to missing the geek!Billy who I also thought was hawt and gorgeous and pretty)

Bulk and Skull get distracted by the unusual thunder and crash their bikes. Skull swears it's just a dent, but finds motor oil on a rock and then TASTES IT. EW. So they decide to take off on foot to see if they can finish the race.

On the moon, Zedd introduces us to his most awesome of awesome putties. Z Putties! They have the best intro ever where he just kind of conjures up a few and they, having apparently already met and taken lessons from Tommy, vogue. Rita wants to prove she can "finish the job" but Lord Zedd says no, shrinks her, and puts her back in that space dumpster. He has his putties toss her off the moon and she hurtles into space. Oh Zedd, honey, if only you knew the future. One day you'll want her to "finish the job"... and on a fairly regular basis I'm sure.

Bulk and Skull then stumble upon the rangers abandoned four wheelers. They decide to take some to get to the finish line, but before they can, they're attacked by putties. In actual character development, back at the Command Center, Trini gets very distraught at the fact that Bulk and Skull are in trouble. They are determined to get there BEFORE Bulk and Skull get hurt. Yay character development!

They morph and then teleport to stand in front of Bulk and Skull, allowing them to run away and hide. The putties are a hard fight, however, and Jason and Trini have some issues. Then Tommy and Billy tag team it, but Tommy's power starts to fail (from a putty fight? Really? Okay then) so he kind of collapses. In a true display of highest Bromance, Jason jumps in the line of fire and stops a putty from taking out Tommy. He then discovers their weak point is the BIG GLARING Z on their chest, so tells the others to aim for the Z. They make short work of the putties and, after checking that Bulk and Skull are okay, go back to the Command Center. Bulk and Skull, having heard the voices, are determined to discover the true identity of the Power Rangers. And so it begins!

Zedd *fangirlish sigh* takes a piranha from a river in Angel Grove (a piranha? In Angel Grove? Seriously now?) and turns it into a monster. The rangers are a little distraught at having to fight it and Zack makes a comment about it being "no Pudgy Pig" and we go AW, PUDGY PIG! Because we are weird.

So they go to fight this piranha monster and summon their zords. But wait! He's a Zedd monster which means he's more powerful and he FREEZES the zords mid-summon. That's right, mid-summon. As in, the pterodactyl zord is frozen in mid-air... and doesn't fall to the ground. OH NOES! Whatever will the rangers do?

Perfect time for a To Be Continued...

Lists:
1.5 fish. There was character development! There was concern for Bulk and Skull's safety! There was plot! There were Very Pretty People!

Billy speak: None. I don't think we get much anymore. *sadface*

Covered in food: nobody

Questions we'd like answered: How did Goldar lose his wings in the first place? He had them at the start of season 1...
And how did Jason hear the thunder in the first place when nobody else did? Does his earring have magical powers?

Season 1 round up

You guys, we're about to start marathoning season 2 right now, but we figured we should do an end of the season review. So, we present to you the Season 1 Round Up

Highlights:
The first kiss ever on Power Rangers was between Jason and Zack.

Goldar really was VERY VERY obsessed with Jason.

Scorpina. Just the fact that she exists.

When Tommy is evil he's really awesome.

Rita has the most awesome bicycle known to man.

Kimberly's clothes. (Shut up, TSB thinks they are awesome.) [QueenRiley really couldn't care less.]

Jason's arms.

Billy/Trini

Billy speak!

Kimberly being the first Ranger to destroy a monster individually.

Lowlights:
Tommy. Just... Tommy.

Angel Grove has the worst public education I've ever seen. And they need to hire another teacher. Or three.

The fatphobia. The Ranger's bullying.

The dwindling Billy speak. It's the start of the end of his techno-babble. :(

Questions for you:
What would you like to see in this blog in the future?

What were your favorite moments of the season? Least favorites?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Episode 60 - An Oyster Stew

You guys, we have reached the end of season 1. It's amazing! When we started this blog back in March, it was mostly just for fun and because we were hanging out. But since then it's become something more, and I'm thankful to each and every one of you who reads and comments, and of course my co-recapper, queenriley. We're planning on putting up a season discussion post (of some sort) later on this week, but for now, let's just talk about this episode. Which we have a guest recapper for - my roommate doctoraicha was in the room while I was watching, and her comments need to be included. (She's responsible for the subtitle. She's never really seen Power Rangers before.)

And after a string of disappointing episodes, we got an amazing one today. In fact, this episode necessitated a change in the livejournal setting to adult concepts, because um, this monster was vaguely NC-17 and the recap is going to reflect that. queenriley and I were cackling through the entire thing. Seriously. AMAZING.


Godzilla and Voltron vs the Peen Monster

First, we have a Zack episode today! We love Zack. We also love Angela. In no way am I writing a ridiculous AU where Angela ends up a Ranger. Plus, Bulk and Skull get to be awesome. When we first see them, they are practicing for an audition. Aww, Bulk and Skull have musical talent! And they just want to be famous! This is pleasing to us. Meanwhile, Kimberly makes fun of them, leading my roommate to ask why the girl in pink is being such a bitch to them.

Zack, meanwhile, is trying to figure out how to impress Angela for her birthday. Because his previous "dates" with her have gone so well. So Zack tries to come up with ways, and his first thought is to buy her pearl earrings. What? Oh, ZACK. Honey. That just... is not going to end well. He's also planning on getting her a singing telegram and going on a double date with Tommy and Kimberly to a french restaurant. Zack, she hasn't even agreed to go out with you yet, this is not going to end well. *pets him* Maybe he should ask Jason instead? Jason would say yes.

Zack manages to ask out Angela, and when she hears "French cafe" she agrees to go along. Zack trying to work up the courage to ask her out is really adorable. We just want to hug him.

Rita has nothing better to do than spy on them, and when she hears that Zack wants to buy pearls for Angela, she creates an oyster monster, who possible beat out both the Terror Toad and the Pudgy Pig as our favorite monster. Seriously, this thing is amazing. It... well, it has a vulva for a head and a giant phallic thing that shoots pink goo out of it. We started laughing at this point and just did not stop. Especially when this episode features such dialogue as "I can take it!" or "Feeling a bit tied up? Let me help you unwind" followed by the monster shooting off a load of pink goo. There are not enough words to describe how amazing this is.




Anyway, Zack tries to find pearls for Angela, but everything is out of his price range. As he runs through the park a shady looking guy stops him, and offers to sell him some jewelery out of his trench coat. Zack is all "it isn't stolen, is it?" and the guy is all "No! It will help whoever you give it to fall in love" and oh, Zack, you are such an idiot. But Zack buys them (and doesn't even try to negotiate on the price, he's just all "is this enough?" and gives money to the guy) and we find out that the guy was actually a putty, who skips away. Also, the pearls that he bought are actually magical pearls of stillness. I want some.

At the restaurant, the menu turns out to be all in French. Zack orders for everyone. Oh, Zack, don't you remember what happened last time there was French cooking on this show? And you know, the name of the restaurant translates to "Snail's Head" which is amazing. Zack ends up ordering frog's legs. Oh, Zack. Then Bulk and Skull show up. Apparently they nailed their audition and now they do singing telegrams. Tommy makes fun of them, but at least they have jobs! They're adorable, honestly.

Zack gives Angela the pearl earrings, and now that he's given her expensive stuff, she loves him. Just as they are about to kiss, Bulk and Skull get knocked over, and food falls all over Zack and Tommy, who go to clean up. Meanwhile, in the park, Trini, Billy and Jason get attacked by putties, and they find out about the Oysterizer and the pearls, and realize that Zack is being used. Instead of using their communicators, they run to the restaurant. While Zack and Tommy are cleaning up, Angela puts on the clip on pearl earrings (oh, Zack, so cheap.) which causes everyone to freeze.

Tommy and Zack (unaffected, because they were in the bathroom, making me wonder what the point of Rita's plan is) go to the Command Center only to discover that the monster is more powerful underwater, so really, they should just use the Dragonzord to fight it, since we KNOW that Zord works underwater.

And then they go fight the Oysterizer, and... our conversation deteriorated really fast.
queenriley: Does that look like a penis?
TSB: yes, that does look like a penis
queenriley: hehehehe
OMG IT EVEN SHOOTS OUT GOO
OMG OMG OMG OMG
TSB: AMAZING
queenriley: alsdjfasldfjalhgoiaewgh
I LOVE THIS MONSTER
TSB: ME TOO
queenriley: AND MORE GOO
OMG I'M FALLING OUT OVER HERE THIS IS WONDERFUL
TSB: IT HAS A VULVA ON ITS HEAD

At some point during the fight while we were busy mocking the monster, Zack ended up wearing Tommy's Shield of Cheap Bling. Which was awesome, and it looks better on him than it does on Tommy. Zack did something and then the monster fell in the water and this broke the spell. We don't know how.

Back at the restaurant, everyone unfreezes, and the earrings disintegrates. Angela yells at Zack and leaves. Apparently Zack left Tommy behind at the beach. We don't know why he does that either. Zack pays for their meal (amazing!) and then the Rangers all morph. They summon the Megazord underwater, and then there are amazingly bad special effects and epic 80s hair band music. We're in love. Then the megazord destroys the monster's pearl.

TSB: I AM INTERPRETING THE DESTROYED THE PEARL IN THE WORST WAY EVER YOU HAVE NO IDEA
queenriley: OH I THINK I DO, I THINK I DO
TSB: THIS IS GOING TO BE AN R RATED RECAP
queenriley: IT SO IS
TSB: WE WILL HAVE TO CUT IT
HA. CUT IT
queenriley: AL:SKJALSDJFSLDFJSDLG
YES

Anyway, then they summon Dragonzord, because that can fight, and my roommate asks why Godzilla and Voltron are fighting a peen monster, and I fell off the couch laughing. The megazord cleans all the goo off of the Dragonzord, and then they destroy the Oysterizer. With teamwork!

Back at the Youth Center, Zack talks about learning a lesson about not spending money or something, because he's broke, but we're not sure what lesson he actually learned. Because really, Angela was only interested when he bought her stuff. But then he sings to Angela with help from Bulk and Skull, and then Angela kisses him. Awwww.

Basically, this was the best episode ever.

Fish: ONE. BECAUSE AMAZING.

Covered in food: Bulk, Skull, Tommy and Zack. Plus everyone gets covered in goo. Shot from the phallic thing.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Episode 59- Mighty Morphin' Mutants

As I was wandering the aisles of the grocery today, buying my bread, my milk, my kitchen sponges, I stopped at the beer aisle. You see, we're out of beer and while we don't drink often, we do occasionally enjoy a nice cold one. I stood there, pondering my choices. Was it a Shiner kind of week? Would Guinness be more fitting? Oh, but there was a new Canadian import on sale that I'd wanted to try, so maybe that. And while I thought about which to purchase, I remembered the episode scheduled for viewing and recapping tonight. As I remembered this episode, I immediately turned away from the beer, paid for my groceries, and headed next door to the liquor store. This episode requires something far harder than a grocer could provide. And that, dear readers, should tell you everything you need to know about tonight's episode.

It's a Tommy episode and we start off with Tommy running down the school hallway. He's late. Again. Kim asks him what's going on and he tells her he's late for Mrs. Applebee's class. I wonder why she's not also late for class, and why she's not in the same class with him as they seem to share every class, but then I remember Mrs. Applebee teaches English, and Science, and Social Studies, and who knows what else. So... yeah. Anyway. He's late.

He sneaks in just in time for Mrs. Applebee to give them their assignment. And before we're even ONE MINUTE into the episode, I teeter on the verge of blackout rage. But I have artificial means of calming my nerves and that's the only thing that saves this episode and has kept this recap out of all caps.

You see, their assignment is to ask their friends to choose something about said person that needs a little work. And then they have to go about trying to fix that problem. So basically they have to go ask all their friends "Hey, what's wrong with me?" and then try to fix it. Um... that's not cool. Yeah, acknowledge your flaws and all that. But to ask teenagers to go around asking other teenagers what's bad about themselves? That's... a disaster waiting to happen. I would have WEPT had I been given such an assignment in school. I also know there would have been a large handful of people jumping at the chance to tell me the fact I existed at all was what was wrong with me... so yeah. This assignment fills me with rage. Bad horrible awful soul-crushing assignment.

Moving on. Bulk is actually rather astute in that he goads Tommy that he'll be lucky if he can even remember what the assignment is. Because Tommy is forgetful. And this episode points it out with startling consistency.

We cut to Goldar conducting a putty training session. It's ADORABLE! I love it. Poor Number 6 just isn't cutting it though, so Goldar sends him back to the clay factory. Goldar then hands out five discs and we discover the putties are going to morph and become ranger clones. We have black, pink, yellow, blue, and green. No red because Number 6 couldn't cut it. Of course he couldn't. Goldar wants the real thing. He'll settle for nothing less than Jason himself. No putty would have been able to pass the Goldar Jason-obsession test.

Tommy asks what his flaws are. First he borrows a towel and some water from Jason because he forgot his, and Jason tells him he's forgetful. He gets a little offended and is all "C'mon man!" but Jason has walked off. Then he asks Kim and Trini and they agree, he's forgetful. He has to agree with them after he buys a soda, puts a straw in it, and then forgets it on the counter. He then says he forgot he was forgetful. *headdesk*

We then see Tommy and Kim walking through the park together and they come across the green and pink Putty Rangers. Tommy tells Kim not to morph and they get their rear-ends handed to them. They wait until the fight is over and the Putty Rangers are gone to contact Zordon and let him know what's up. They discover there is no red Putty Ranger because Rita has sent down Commander Crayfish in it's place (and poor Putty Number 6 couldn't get Goldar's Jason-obsessed approval).

The next day, as Tommy forgets just about everything else, Billy gives him a device he worked on the night before. It's a little memory device that has everything Tommy needs to do programmed into it and sounds an alarm at the required time. Billy was actually helpful! Except then they talk about taking their minds off Rita's evil rangers in the middle of the very crowded Youth Center and seriously, secret identities don't work that way. While at school, Kim just ties a bunch of ribbons on Tommy's wrist and tells him that will help him remember. The memory device short circuits just in time for Tommy to realize he's forgotten his notebook, the one with all his homework and notes in it that Trini worked so hard helping him organize. And goodness knows what else he's forgotten (aside from a soda he just bought, a towel, his water for after working out, what attacks he's using during sparring, etc etc etc).

It's at this point that I begin to wonder if Tommy has a brain tumor because seriously, this goes way beyond just forgetful. This is disturbing serious mental damage levels of forgetfulness. TSB's theory is that it's something Rita did to him when he was evil and while I never put much stock in that beforehand, the end of this episode gives us a plausible theory. More on that later.

So Tommy leaves his morpher in his locker and skips class to run home and get his homework folder. Meanwhile, the other five are called away before reaching class, so they end up skipping as well. They go fight Commander Crayfish and the Putty Rangers. They do okay, but not too terribly well. Tommy finally gets back and hears his morpher, so he goes to join the fight. La de da. Fight scenes aren't my favourite, sorry. Zordon gives them new weapons after they get their asses handed to them AGAIN, and they look just like the old weapons, but are supposedly way more powerful. They blast the Putty Rangers into the air and then Rita makes them grow. Even the putties grew. This happened before when Tommy was evil. Rita made him grow. I had forgotten, but TSB reminded me, and it cleared up some things. Perhaps Tommy really did suffer brain damage from the massive growth and then shrinking down. Surely it would have adversely affected his internal anatomy.

Anyway, they call the zords, they fight, they call Titanus, they win. End of fight, yay!

Back at school the following day, poor Tommy is still forgetful. The others make him feel better about it, telling him it's okay because nobody is perfect and everybody has flaws and that's what make you special and your real friends will love you despite your shortcomings. Which is a good lesson, sure, but falls flat after the whole "ask everyone you know what they think is WRONG WITH YOU" assignment. *sigh* Not to mention that the level of forgetfulness Tommy exhibited was downright FRIGHTENING and worrisome. Like, what is physically wrong with him, get him into a doctor asap, kind of worrisome.

Bulk and Skull show up to school dressed as gentlemen. They are cleaned up nicely, hair washed and styled, wearing suits. They look pretty darn good! They even brought a present for Mrs. Applebee, but she refuses to open it and insists they open it for her. It ends up shooting silly string all over Bulk and his nice suit. Mrs. Applebee then turns to the rangers and says, and I quote, "Well, I suppose some of us will never change." and then LAUGHS. WORST. TEACHER. EVER.

So yes, I needed that hard liquor to keep me calm through this episode, mostly because of the assignment. Seriously, I would have had a freaking mental breakdown had I been assigned that in school. That's... just not okay.

Lists:

5 fish. It kept some continuity and all, but that assignment! I can't get past it. And Tommy's disturbing level of forgetfulness without being called on it. Myocardial infarction was less worrisome than this mess.

Billy speak: none really

Covered in food: none

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Episode 58 - Football Season

Hi everyone I am back from San Francisco! I am totally jet lagged and operating on caffeine and willpower, so my apologies in advance if this doesn't make sense. But seriously, I haven't watched Power Rangers in over a week* so it only makes sense that the first episode I watch is a Tommy episode, right? This episode actually starts off really well (and man, it is pretty) but unfortunately it then deteriorates into a large pile of fish, and even the pretty cannot save it. Also, I do not care about football (BASEBALL. Why are they not playing baseball???) so I'm sure there are plenty of football references that I just missed or whatever.

The episode begins with Tommy and Jason in the hallway admiring their nice arms. Well, Jason has nice arms. Tommy's arms are kinda scrawny. But actually they're talking about football, and Jason is encouraging Tommy to try out for the team, possibly so they can wrestle and pat each other on the butt. Bulk is also trying out for the team, and Skull is his coach. Bulk charges down the hallway, crashes into the principal, and then they get more detention. We think they might still be there, since they have to be up to at least 20 years at this point.

Later, in the Youth Center, Tommy is sulking about how he doesn't understand football, and he's worried about being rejected. This is almost endearing. Almost. It's just that Adam does it so much better than Tommy does. Ernie offers to coach Tommy, since apparently Ernie was awesome at football in college. That's so sweet of him! It's inappropriately young friends, the older generation! Bulk wanders into the Youth Center in a tutu, and Skull mispronounces ballet. Those two are oddly endearing in this episode. We're getting closer to them getting character development, yay! Trini and Kim ask Tommy if he wants to go to the park with them to play flag football, but he says no so that Ernie can train him. Whatever.

Tommy fails at grasping the concept of football. You are not supposed to kick people in the head, Tommy! That is not a very hard concept to grasp! It is not karate. (Okay, I do approve of the scene where he does push ups. I am shallow. Whatever.) Oh, and there are more hijinks of Bulk in his tutu in detention. Whatever. (Amazingly, there are other students! Maybe they got a bigger budget?)

Meanwhile, in the park, David Yost is really pretty. Seriously, we chat during the recaps and it pretty much deteriorated into "OH HI THERE DAVID'S ARMS" for a while. For the record, both of us would watch a show where they just played sports. (Also, if Billy can play football, Tommy should be able to play football. I guarantee you that Billy just decided to read a book on it that morning and then was all "I know football" and proceeded to beat everyone.)

Anyway, Rita decided she wanted a football team of her own, so she sends Putties down into the park. Billy is an awesome gymnast, the girls kick ass, and for some reason Zack is wearing a shirt. They go to the Command Center where Zordon tells them that as they can tell from the attack, Rita wants her own football team. Really? Because Rita's attacked them while they play basketball and volleyball, and Rita hasn't had that themed monsters yet. Maybe a fish told them.

So they go and fight Rita's monster, who is a rhino or something? But he isn't that important, because there are FOOTBALL PUTTIES. AMAZING. Except then the monster sends them to an alternate dimension, so Zordon needs to call Tommy. Tommy leaves his training while Ernie is on the phone (I hope that's a long phone call, Ernie, because Tommy didn't leave a note) and there's a long fishy explanation about how if Tommy throws his daggers through the mist of the alternate dimension and Jason catches them that the Rangers will be freed? So Tommy fakes surrendering and I don't even know, because this was about the point where our chat deteriorated again, but instead of yelling about Billy's arms, we were yelling about fish. Oh, and Tommy's powers are starting to go out, because it adds drama. Or something.

Especially because then the Megazord appears out of nowhere (seriously, did they summon it in the dimension?) and then it turns out that Tommy's daggers are a boomerang, and also Tommy recovers from his power loss as soon as he sees the Megazord. Fish fish fish.

Back at the Youth Center, Principal Caplan is announcing the football team. Jason, Billy and Zack all make the team. Billy? Seriously? I still can't picture him agreeing to play this sport. Although the boys look really pretty in the uniforms. And I can't think its a good idea for them to be all on a team - what happens when Rita attacks? Does she just know not to attack during their practices and games? Will this ever be referenced again? Anyway, a bunch of other people are on the team, and Kimberly and Trini are sad because Tommy appears not to make it. Zack sees that Caplan dropped a sheet of paper, and calls Bulk's name. Trini and Kim clap half-heartedly, and Bulk comes out in a uniform + a tutu. And then Caplan calls Tommy's name. Apparently Tommy is the Star quarterback.

That sound you just heard is a combination of hysterical laughter and yelling. Okay, first of all, they haven't played any games yet. Second, Tommy did not deserve this which is what they say repeatedly. Sure, let him make the team. Fine. Whatever. But he's been playing for a day and he knows nothing about any of the strategies or anything else. (I do watch Friday Night Lights, although even that show has failed to explain football to me. Except I would like Jason Street to be a superhero.)

Anyway. This episode gets 5 fish. It started out really well and then fell apart. Even the pretty cannot save it.



*This is not true. I visited ryuutchi while I was there, and I was horrified to find out that she hadn't yet seen Ranger Blue, and she was horrified that I'd never seen any of Jungle Fury, so we watched some episodes. Theo and RJ are totally awesome, just so everyone knows. And Flynn is still my favorite. Well, except for Adam. But Flynn is my favorite for RPM! So.** Also, my friends who I went on vacation with very nicely put up with my babbling about my apocabigbang even though neither of them are in this fandom, as they are awesome. ♥ ♥ ♥

**I did mention that I was running on pure caffeine and willpower, right?

Monday, November 9, 2009

Episode 57- Fowl Play

To start with, TSB will be going on vacation next week, so there will be no recaps. Alas.

Finally we get the Zack episode I lamented at missing due to the mislabel! Even better than that, it's a Tommy-less Zack episode! Yay!

So we start off with Angela breaking up a fight between two kids while Zack, in a stunning display of actual continuity, puts on a magic show. He's pretty good. Bulk and Skull interrupt, however, and make fools of themselves in attempting to upstage him. All while Bulk has a Twinkie in his mouth. *sigh* Zack is then really mean and surprises them with some fake snakes. Snakes. I thought he was afraid of snakes. But I guess he got over it. Or they forgot.

So Angela tells him that was brilliant (really? Seemed more mean to me...) and then kisses him on the cheek. Okay, so that part was adorable. She walks off and the other rangers walk up and make fun of Zack for it. They're kind of mean about it, but it's borderline between playful and cruel, so I'll let it slide. Jason seems somewhat jealous and tells Zack not to do anything that he wouldn't do and we're left with the unsaid "Like kiss a girl" hanging in the air. They go to the park and Zack stays behind to hit on Angela. Meanwhile, Rita also seems to want to get in on the Zack action and swears she'll show him what a real peck on the cheek is like. Man, Zack is quite the hot commodity here!

In the park, Jason says something about putty and suddenly they are surrounded by putties. Kim poses a lot, Jason has very pretty arms, Trini is awesome, and David Yost is very pretty and obviously a gymnast.

Moving on, Angela asks Zack why he never told her he was so good with kids and Ernie's reaction to his response is PRICELESS. Zack says he doesn't like to brag and Ernie nearly chokes on his drink and walks away mumbling about how something has affected his hearing. Hehehhe. Angela tries to ask him out and Ernie keeps trying to get his attention. They finally look over and there is a news report about a giant monster bird thing attacking downtown. Ernie clearly knows Zack is a power ranger. The kids all gather 'round and Zack reassures them, but they don't look all that worried actually. One little girl says she's not worried because she knows the power rangers will save them. Awwwww.

So in order to get away, Zack has the brilliant (actually so, this time) plan to have Bulk make him disappear. It's awesome and works, except he's really mean and tells Bulk the magic words are "Iamag Oon" so when he says it, Bulk calls him a goon. Douchebag of the Day awarded to Zack! Grrr.

So Zack disappears and Zordon calls him with impeccable timing just as he reaches the hallway and is completely out of sight and earshot. He ends up having to fight the bird monster by himself because the others are tied up with the putties... still. We discover the monster's name is the Peckster. And I spend approximately five minutes giggling. The Peckster (teehee) runs away undefeated and Zack goes to the Command Center, where he discovers he must go back to the Youth Center because the (completely calm and not at all worried) children need him. Um... okay then.

So he gets back just in time for Bulk, who has up to this point refused to say "Zack" lest he bring him back from whence he sent him (where he saw lots of beans, I'm sure), get goaded into saying "Zack". One kid was very pouty. Everybody oohs and ahs as if it were real magic. Even the adults/teens. Mmkay.

At the part the putties disappear and the rangers go to the Command Center. They have to go fight the Peckster (teehee) and are told Zack will join them when he can and Tommy will not be called, lest his powers fail. And that is blissfully the only mention we get of him this episode.

So they're fighting, and the kids and Zack are watching on the tv, and Zack spies a bunch of balloons. Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend is sure the power rangers will save the day and Zack, in reassuring him (why? he was fine), spies some balloons. He sees Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend's black ball and gets an idea.

He teleports, morphed, into the fight and somehow talks the Peckster (teehee) into popping all the balloons in his hand. The last one, a black one, is really the ball in disguise (that looks nothing like a ball until the bird goes after it and then it looks nothing like a balloon) and the Peckster (teehee) gets his beak stuck. Oh show. I just. Okay, I'll be honest. I dissolved into audible fits of giggles and missed a lot of the ensuing fight. Because the Peckster gets his mouth stuck on a ball. I'm still giggling.

Basically, the Peckster grows (guffaw!), the zords are summoned, we see two things we've never seen before and will never see again (the Mammoth Shield and some laser that comes out of their head), and then the Power Sword Saves Them All. Again. Per usual. Whatever. Oh, and somewhere in there Zack gives a motivational speech about not giving up. I was still too busy laughing. Sorry.

Pouting Inappropriately Young Friend says the black power ranger used his head before his fists, JUST LIKE ZACK, and clearly this is a very smart Inappropriately Young Friend. Clearly he, like Ernie, knows Zack is the black ranger.

Later, Zack comes in all dressed up. He cleans up nice! It's a goofy suit and he even manages to make it look good! He's got grand plans to take Angela out for dinner and dancing, but she shows up with a gaggle of kids and tells him they're going to a 5 hour Woody Woodpecker review at the local cinema. Zack is upset, obviously, but goes along. We also discover I'm apparently the only person in the world who, as a tiny child, would have gladly sat through 5 hours of Woody Woodpecker. What? I loved him! And Underdog. Don't judge me!

List time!
4.5 fish. It was ridiculous, I'm sorry! It managed to both do a massive call back continuity nod AND ignore continuity altogether at the same time! But at least it was AWESOMELY ridiculous!

Billy speak: "What an effusive display of affection."

"Look at the abundance of feathers on that overstuffed ornith!"

Covered in food: Nobody!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Episode 56 - Enter the Lizzinator

At this point we've given up going by the order as posted, and we're just going by the way these episodes are on our shiny dvd sets. So even though this episode claims it is Fins and Needles, we're actually watching a Cheerleading episode.

So, we start off watching tryouts for the Angel Grove Junior High Cheerleading Squad. A random redhead is being focused on (I approve of all random redheads, just for the record) and wow, they are such bad cheerleaders. The cheer itself is horrible, and they also all suck. The random redhead sucks more than the rest of them, and ends up being late for the final word. Awkward. The random redhead turns out to also be a random relative. She is, in fact, Kimberly's cousin. Raise your hand if you're surprised that Kimberly was a cheerleader. Anyone? Bueller?

Apparently Kimberly was so awesome, that the Junior High still talks about her a few years later. So is Kimberly still cheering now, or did she quit when she got to high school, and honestly, who cares about Middle School Cheerleaders anyway? Perhaps Angel Grove High just doesn't have cheerleaders because a) they only have one teacher, so there's nobody to coach the cheerleading squad, and b) martial arts competitions don't have cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, on the moon, Rita decides what her life is lacking is her own personal cheerleader. So instead of capturing a good cheerleader, she decides to go after Kelly. Personally, I feel she should have just trained Squatt and Baboo.

Anyway, Random Relative (Kelly) is all sad that she is not as awesome as Kimberly, and Kim offers to help her. Kim is actually pretty lousy at cheerleading herself, honestly. Plus, when you teach these things you're supposed to mirror the person, so no wonder Kelly is messing up. Kelly gets frustrated and runs away.

Ernie asks Jason (and hi there, Jason's arms!) to go pick up a delivery across town, since some truck broke down. I hope you're paying him for that, Ernie. Or is Jason just trying to work off everyone's bill? That probably makes more sense.

Kimberly and Tommy find Kelly at the playground, and Kimberly gives what I assume is supposed to be an inspiring speech, while Tommy stands around looking creepy. Then they get attacked by putties, and I'm pretty sure we spent the whole fight scene discussing how I still think Kimberly's fashion sense is awesome. Just as the fight ends, Squatt and Baboo kidnap Kelly, and drag her off to the cave of captivity. Kimberly and Tommy forget they have communicators, and they run over to the Youth Center to get Zack, Trini and Billy.

Meanwhile, Jason is picking up Ernie's delivery, when he gets attacked by the Lizzinator. At first we're totally confused as to why he's called the Lizzinator, and then he starts to talk. It's actually a Terminator joke, or really a governator joke. Oh, show. Sometimes I love you so much. (The monster still looks nothing like a lizard. Seriously.) Anyway, the monster beats Jason up, and then tells him it was too easy, and maybe more Rangers will present more of a challenge, and then he runs away.

At the Command Center, Zordon tells them that the Lizzinator is incredibly powerful, and Alpha presents Billy with a grocery scanner readout that says that the monster is really powerful. Nothing can penetrate its skin. Kimberly is all upset because apparently if they can't defeat it, they'll never find Kelly. Also, if they can't defeat it, then Rita will, you know, take over the world. I feel that Kimberly's priorities are skewed. Tommy says he'll go with them to fight, but they suddenly all remember that Tommy's powers are limited. Continuity! It's a miracle!

They go to the Inexplicably Abandoned Rock Quarry, and there are a lot of putties. Including a driving!putty, and we start talking about how probably thinks this scene is awesome. However, we've also decided that it would be even better if it was a driving!pumpkinhead!putty. This should happen. Plus, the driving!putty punches Jason in the face. This is hilarious to us.

Anyway, Jason is getting beaten up, when Tommy shows up to save his boyfriend, even though Jason is all "no! you're so weak!" and then Jason promptly swoons. Booooooooyfriends. (I only find Tommy tolerable when he's dating Adam Jason.) There's a fight, and other things, but honestly, I'm not so much in this for the fight scenes. Oh, and at some point they summon Zords, the Dragonzord gets thrown around in a way that made us start yelling about how physics doesn't work like that (The Lizzinator held the DragonZord completely upright over his head by gripping the end of his tail), and eventually the Rangers summon Titanus and win. At least it wasn't just the power sword this time.

In the Cave of Captivity, Kelly is just sitting on a rock, thinking of what Kimberly would do. She remembers that Kimberly told her to have faith in herself, and comes up with a plan. Um, I am fairly sure that Kimberly was talking about cheerleading, not fighting monsters. Idiot child! Kelly's grand plan involves writing the worst cheer ever and teaching it to Squatt and Baboo, who are talking about cheeseburgers. It is even worse than the Pumpkin Rapper. (Okay, not quite. But it is close.) Along with teaching them a cheer (that doesn't rhyme) about how Rita always loses to the Power Rangers, Kelly makes them spin around repeatedly, and they get dizzy. Squatt and Baboo then teleport out of the cave, leaving Kelly alone.

Now that Kelly is safe, the Rangers show up, and Kelly is very unenthusiastic about being rescued. Seriously, kid, I would be milking this for weeks! But no, she's just all "oh, hi there!" Maybe she knows that Kimberly is a Ranger and she doesn't want to look dorky in front of her cousin.

Then the episode ends. It was pretty good!

... Okay, that isn't actually what happened. What happens next is that the episode veers straight into high fish territory. Even though the tryouts were supposed to be that same afternoon, everyone is wearing different clothes. A group is doing a cheer, and then it's Kelly's turn. She doesn't cheer, but she instead does a dance, so I have no idea why she was practicing the cheer anyway, since all she had to do was dance.

Kimberly and Kelly are both horrible to Bulk and Skull, and there's more fatphobia, and I cannot even deal.


Fish: If it had ended before the last few minutes, I would have given it 2, maybe 2.5 because of the ridiculous monster name. But since the last few minutes happened, it's being bumped up to a 4.

Fanart that needs to exist: Squatt and Baboo: I can has cheezburger?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Episode 55- Second Chance

This was an incredibly boring and pointless episode. It... ugh. Should have had a beer. Would have made it easier. I think I'd rather suffer through Devon's Not-Actually-A Ghost again than watch this episode one more time.

So we start out in the Youth Center with Jason and Zack on a date. It's adorable, but that's the last interesting thing that happens. A bunch of kids run off all happy to have made Ernie's soccer team. Why Ernie is running a soccer team, we have no idea. There is one little boy who is very sad. Or rather, we suspect he's supposed to be very sad, but really he's just wooden and expressionless. I think the kid from Phantom Menace could act better than this kid. Anyway, Boy Who Can't Act, also named Roger, didn't make the soccer team. Jason suggests he practice. Ernie says if it was up to him, he'd hold another try-out (why this will help, I have no idea). Zack throws logic into an episode that lacks any and says it IS up to Ernie, who then says "Oh yeah" and sets up for a second try-out.

At school the following morning, Zack wants to do soccer tricks in the hallway. Bulk and Skull take the soccer ball. Kim is mean to Bulk (something about nobody seeing him on a soccer field... it was cruel, we'll just leave it with that). Bulk manages to kick the ball right into Ms. Applebee as she comes around the corner. She gives them detention. Zack chastises them for doing soccer tricks in the hall... which he was just about to do too... and I want to bang on the keyboard, but won't because I like my computer and don't want to break it.

Oh, and somewhere in there, Tommy slammed his wrist and communicator against the wall and broke it. He goes to first period, which he doesn't have with the other rangers but does have with Bulk and Skull (and what in the world do their timetables actually look like? I can't figure it out). His communicator keeps beeping and Ms. Applebee takes away his "pager", yet doesn't question that it looks like a watch and not the little heavy boxes with the tiny screen that pagers used to be. Oh goodness. Pagers. Dear readers, we feel very old right now.

After school that day, Jason and Zack practice soccer in the park with their Inappropriately Young Friend, aka Boy Who Can't Act. The kid is bad. They encourage him and instead of actually showing him how to do things, they just keep throwing the ball at him. So then they get attacked by putties. And then they get attacked by Rita's not-fully-charged Soccadillo. Oh show. The best part is the putties get together and start playing soccer with the Soccadillo. That was actually really cool. Not as cool as pumpkin!putties, but still pretty neat.

Zordon calls the other rangers in and Trini goes to stand by Boy Who Can't Act while Billy and Kim go after the putties. I'm a little confused as to the logic here. I mean, I know Trini is mostly Informed Ability, and she's only shown as being awesome in her (very very few) focus episodes, but I certainly doubt a novice and a girl with no martial arts training would be more skilled fighters than somebody who takes specialized martial arts classes with her own personal trainer.

Anyway, they get their rear-ends kicked by the Soccadillo (okay, so I know everywhere else lists it with only one c, but since it's a word smush and soccer has two c's, I'm going with that). They teleport to the Command Center and we're left wondering what they did with the kid. We can only assume they gave him some fish and went about their merry way.

They morph and go fight in the Inexplicable Abandoned Rock Quarry again. They blast and blast and apparently forget it's an ARMOURED mammal, so the firepower really isn't going to work against it. Meanwhile Tommy is trying to get his communicator back from Ms. Applebee and is surprised to discover it did not, in fact, magically fix itself while locked in her desk drawer all day. Zordon teleports him into the fight and they call Zords. Yada yada yada, Power Sword Saves Them All, explosion, the end.

Back at the Youth Center we discover every kid made it onto the soccer team because Ernie couldn't bear to let anybody down and made a second team. Bulk and Skull tell Boy Who Can't Act that he really didn't have to practice after all and he says he did, but frankly, they're kind of right. He would have made the team regardless of his actual skill level because EVERYBODY made the team no matter what. But Skull decides to show off, has something sticky on his hand, gets the soccer ball stuck, knock both Bulk and himself over, and then get covered in milkshake.

And I'm just glad it's over.

4.5 fish. It made little sense and was just BORING.

Billy speak: "Looks like a member of the dasypodidae family. [beat] An armoured mammal."

Covered in food: Bulk and Skull in milkshake.

Times I had to go back and edit out where I accidentally typed football instead of soccer and didn't catch it until the end: twice

Friday, October 30, 2009

Episode 54 - Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween! In honor of tomorrow's festivities, we're watching a Halloween episode! (Okay, so it was next on the list anyway.)

Today on Power Rangers - Kimberly and Skull participate in the world's most ridiculous game show, nobody knows what a trick question is, and everyone tries to rap!

The episode opens with Kimberly on the balance beam, and her outfit is adorable and so incredibly early 90s. She's got a giant pink headband and a pink hoodie and leggings. Oh, Kimberly. Never change. ♥ She gets off the beam when she sees Trini and Tommy and tells them that she has some news for them. I honestly thought her news was going to be that the three of them should all hook up, but instead Kimberly tells them that she's going to be on a game show called Trick or Treat. This is apparently the highest rated game show in the country Angel Grove is so its own country and millions of people will see her. Apparently if she wins, she'll get a new car.

The show will apparently be next Saturday, and Tommy sadly tells Kimberly that he won't be there, because there's an inter-city karate tournament. I guess he needs to do his part to support Angel Grove's economy, but his girlfriend is going to be on a gameshow! He should go support her! Tommy is a faily!boyfriend.

Kimberly wonders who her opponent will be, and Bulk and Skull walk in. Apparently she'll be up against Skull. If I was Kimberly, my reaction would be "yay! The car you win as a prize is totally mine!" but she doesn't say that. However, Skull ends up covered in guacamole.

Up on the moon, Goldar suggests to Rita that they grow a Pumpkin Rapper monster. I start getting flashbacks to the Almost Got 'Im episode of Batman: The Animated Series. Which is possible, since Batman exists in the Power Rangers universe. (If I point this out often enough, will someone eventually write crossover fic?)

Apparently while Rita is planting pumpkins without Zordon noticing, it's Saturday! Trick or Treat is the weirdest game show ever. The rules make no sense. Everyone is in costume (the Rangers have all gone Ren Faire, although the SCA would be horrified by their costumes). Skull is a prisoner escaped from detention, and it says 24601 on his chest, and I start flailing. Oh, SKULL. The point of the game is to ask trick questions, except nobody has ever heard of trick questions. Instead it's really just stump the host.

Kimberly's first question is "Can you tell me the identity of the Power Rangers?" Since the host obviously cannot, she gets a pumpkin point and then gets to participate in a bonus game, which involves getting strapped to the Wheel of Misfortune, which has nothing to do with the episode of the same name. Really, I don't think spinning her around on a wheel is the best idea when she's wearing a skirt.

Skull's turn. His question is "What is the name of my best friend?" Seriously, how is this a trick question? I feel that they don't know what that phrase means. The worst part is that Skull needed Bulk's help with that! He was cheating to come up with that question. Seriously, Skull, if you can make a Les Mis joke, you can do better than this. But he gets his pumpkin point, and then does some weird mini game involving a spider.

Meanwhile, Tommy is walking through the park to get to his karate tournament, and he comes upon a field of pumpkins. He gets attacked by putties. How awesome is the Green Ranger themesong? If only Tommy was as awesome as his song. He actually calls Zordon on his communicator after, and is told to go onto his tournament, and the Rangers will call him if they need him.

Alpha is sad, as he was cheering on Kimberly. If Kimberly gets one more point, she wins the game. Unfortunately, she looks into the audience and sees the other Rangers tapping their communicators urgently, so instead of just asking her last question and then winning, she fakes fainting and then the others carry her off. Skull wins the car. Amazingly, nobody tries to call a doctor after Kim faints, they just let her leave.

Okay. Here's the thing. They could have left her there to win and then called her in later, like they were doing for Tommy. Or they could have given her another 30 seconds to win the game. There was no need for her to forfeit. Fail, show!

Anyway, the Rangers all teleport to the Command Center, and Zordon fills them in about the Pumpkin Rapper. They go to the pumpkin patch, and as soon as they pick pumpkins up, four of the Rangers get pumpkins over their heads! Billy and Jason use that opportunity to end up in a fairly compromising position. Kimberly, who was unaffected by the pumpkins, shoots Jason in the head, and the pumpkins fall off. Jason makes a comment about cutting his off, and I fall over laughing.

Meanwhile, we get a fight with pumpkin putties! They are so awesome. More putties like this! After beating the pumpkin putties, they find a giant pumpkin, which they assume will be the pumpkin rapper, and they decide to wake it up. With the worst rap I've ever heard.

Kim: "T-t-t-trick or treat"
Billy: "You're incomplete"
Jason: "Til the Power Rangers you can beat"
Trini: "All you are"
Zack: "is pu-pu-pu-pumpkin meat"

Owwwwwwww.

This wakes up the Pumpkin Rapper, who I really feel should have been more like Jack Pumpkinhead. The Rangers need help, so they call Tommy just as he's about to participate in the tournament finals. Instead, he leaves, forfeiting his match to go help. Too bad for the economy. He charges at the Pumpkin Rapper while the other Rangers summon their weapons, and then they blow him up. I do love the power weapons.

The next day (we guess) Kim is sad about the car. I would be sad too! Tommy is also sad about it, we assume because he wanted to spend time in the backseat. Bulk and Skull drive up in their new car I will not make a joke about them being boyfriends when someone from the show comes and busts them for cheating. They lose the car. Part of Bulk's mummy costume gets stuck in the door. You can guess how this ends.


Fish: 4.5 I love this episode, but it makes no sense. I mean, just the rules (and I use the word loosely) for the game show. And then Kimberly not getting to finish. Seriously, fish.

Billy speak: "She seems to have experienced a slight cardiac infarction"
"It sounds as though they are devoid of any internal substance"

Covered in food: Skull gets covered in guacamole. Also, the spider spits something on him.

Pumpkin Rapper speak: "Oh you rangers make me mad, waking me up with a rap that bad"
"You think that's something you can do? Well I've got some friends who'd like to meet you!"
"Welcome to my pumpkin patch, perhaps you'd like to play some catch?
"Be the first ones on your block to feel the mega pumpkin shock"
"You cut my vine, but you're still mine"
"Better run fast or you'll feel the blast"

Quotable quotes: "Hasta la pumpkin, squash brain."