Episode 359 - The Fifth Crystal

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Anyway, we are updating again without a super long hiatus? The world must be ending. Or something.

So we open with Vypra Mission Impossible Style hijjinks, including some music that is designed to evoke that particular feeling. It's all very dark, and I feel like somewhere the Leverage team is probably laughing their asses off. Man, I love Leverage. Anyway, Vypra steals some funky looking crystal, which is apparently the fourth one, and she looks very pleased with herself.

One of the monsters gives some exposition about how they need one more crystal and then they can destroy all the things. Cue themesong. (Which is still awesome.)

Back at the Aquabase, apparently the Rangers are going to investigate stolen crystals. Carter is totally confused, because um, they aren't the cops. But some special agent shows up to explain that they are starlight crystals, and only 5 of them exist in the world. They.... look vaguely like dilithium crystals. Dana is all "how are we going to find it?" but Kelsey tells them her grandmother has the last one. Apparently she hasn't spoken to her grandmother in years, because they don't get along. Her grandmother was apparently super awesome as a young woman, but now she apparently only cares about money.

Her grandmother is very stuck up, and assumes that Kelsey is only there to get money. Although to be fair, if you show up at a rich woman's house and are all "hey, I need some help" I... don't really blame you. Kelsey and Carter do a very bad job of explaining why they need the crystal. I love her grandmother a little bit. Her grandmother gives her the "this is super important to me" speech, and agrees to give Kelsey the crystal anyway. Kelsey promises to keep it safe. I sense disaster.

So they are transporting the crystal to... somewhere? With Kelsey handcuffed to the suitcase containing it. Vypra shows up in her car of doom and sends Batlings to over run the van. Kelsey uses the suitcase as a WEAPON, which is one of the most moronic things that Rangers have ever used as weapons, and Vypra then cuts  the handcuff off Kelsey, and takes the crystal. Luckily, this is when the Rangers all show up, and Carter manages to get all five crystals. Vypra and the Batlings vanish.

The Rangers hand the crystals off to the special agent, but its really the monster, who runs off with all the crystals. Kelsey's grandmother gives Kelsey the "I couldn't be more disappointed in you" speech. Carter then gives the grandmother the "all the money in the world can't buy you a decent personality" speech, and Kelsey starts crying about how all she ever wanted was for her grandmother to love her, and then she starts blaming herself. The grandmother (who frankly is allowed to be upset with them for losing her crystal) watches from the window.

Somehow Kelsey sees batlings driving around on a truck, and she rollerblades after them, and makes one of the most impossible jumps in the history of power rangers. They then go to an army base and nobody has noticed that Kelsey snuck in. They are not very smart.

Back in demon world, Queen Bansheera gives orders to Olympius and Loki to keep the Rangers from interfering. At Aquabase, Carter is looking for Kelsey. And then the alarm goes off.

Kelsey is still spying on the monsters at the abandoned warehouse/army base and the crystals are powering up the warp core, and then Kelsey gets noticed. There's a fight on rollerblades, which is awesome. I want Jubilee and Kelsey to be BFF now. They would totally get along. All the batlings fire at Kelsey, but she outskates them, but eventually she gets caught and they pull her rollerblades off her feet.

The other Rangers are on their way to rescue Kelsey when they notice Olympius, and there's a fight. And a really nice shot of Carter's ass. And also Chad gets pinned to the ground and starts moaning. This is totally relevant.

So the laser warp core is being moved into position, when ACTION GRANDMA comes to the rescue. Man, now I ship ACTION GRANDMA with Grandma Matchmaker. Or at least I want them to go and talk about their granddaughters the yellow rangers. And how they totally saved them. Because seriously. Old ladies being awesome! ACTION GRANDMA totally drives a forklift into the laser and laughs maniacally, and it is GREAT. Seriously, I think she is my favorite ever. The warp core laser explodes and the crystal is destroyed.

Kelsey asks what her grandmother is doing, and ACTION GRANDMA says she came to get the most precious thing in the world. Kelsey thinks her grandmother means the crystal, but it is OBVIOUSLY Kelsey.

Kelsey then heads over to help the other Rangers fight Olympius while ACTION GRANDMA is all "I'll be fine." She's probably destroying an entire army of Batlings herself. Anyway, the Rangers summon weapons and fight monsters and stuff happens, I guess. The monster gives the "you'll pay for ruining my plan" defeat flag, so Kelsey kicks his ass. They destroyed the monster without it growing.

The Rangers are all discussing what happened, and how Kelsey is sad because her grandmother will never forgive her. But Kelsey shows up on rollerblades to say that she is going on a picnic with someone. And ACTION GRANDMA appears, also on rollerblades. None of the Rangers want to go on the picnic with them, and ACTION GRANDMA calls them chickens. They do fun rollerblading stunts together and skate off.

THIS WAS SO GREAT WHY ISN'T LIGHTSPEED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME???

Fish: 3. The science makes no sense, but WHATEVER. ACTION GRANDMA.

Fic we want: GRANDMA MATCHMAKER/ACTION GRANDMA. Or at least them hanging out and being awesome together. SERIOUSLY.

Episode 358 - The Omega Project

Previously... hell if I remember. Ryan was shirtless? I remember that much. And I got stuck with a Joel episode? REALLY? Ugh. (Whatever, I did miss this.)

So we start off with Joel and an inappropriately young friend using a telescope. The inappropriately young friend is named Simon, and he can join the list of future rangers. In fact, tiny child wants to work for Lightspeed. Joel tells the inappropriately young friend that working for Lightspeed is serious, but when he grows up, he'll be able to work wherever he wants.

Meanwhile, the villains are plotting to use an asteroid or something. I don't care. But the tiny child notices it right as his mother tells him to go to bed.

If Joel is not related to Simon, I am super assuming that he's sleeping with the kids mom.

Ms. Fairweather is explaining a new power up to the Rangers, and how she's created the Omega Megazord, which is the latest in Zord tech. I think she just wanted an excuse to make them say Omega Mega. Then Joel shows up with flowers, and she is all "late again." He tries to give her flowers, but is interrupted by a call. Simon the inappropriately young friend calls and apparently has hacked into the frequency because its super important, but Joel ignores him. Captain Awesome is all "What is going on?" and he ends up getting the flowers that Joel was going to present to Ms. Fairweather.

Simonagain is all "LOOK, I AM SMART. Have this binder of proof and math and I am WAY SMARTER THAN YOU." The kid is great. "I have the position, the velocity, EVERYTHING." Kid is totally a future Ranger and/or future tech. This time Joel believes him, and he goes to Lightspeed.

Ms. Fairweather ignores Joel, because frankly, Joel has cried wolf approximately 87 times at this point and she's running tests. So the kid simply hacks into the database because he is the most brilliant. By the time everyone else has figured out how to get into the office, Simon has proven his point. Ms. Fairweather is all "damn, this kid is great."

An alarm goes off, and the Rangers have to go form a zord to fight the asteroid. They... stand in the middle of the city and plan to blow it up? That is poor planning. All the debris will still destroy everything!

Olympius is all "well, I'll block the sun so they won't have any power." SCIENCE DOES NOT WORK THIS WAY. Did they learn nothing from earlier? Hell, MMPR stopped the solar power megazords after green with evil!

So the Rangers have to ignore the asteroid and go fight olympius and blah blah blah. Meanwhile, smart inappropriately young friend is doing science. He's all "whoops, thing is bigger than we thought." Ms. Fairweather recalls them to the base so they can initiate the omega project. God, I have been in fandom for so long I am so confused as to why a/b/o is involved, and that's not even my kink.

Inappropriately young friend is all worried as the Rangers dramatically enter their zords or whatever, and everyone in the base is super intensely watching. They take off, and the kid adorably salutes captain awesome.

So they go and fly in space and form a megazord and then try to land on the asteroid? They can't find a place to land, so Chad shoots stuff and then they land. The megazord like crab crawls or whatever, and then the whole episode turns into Armageddon as they start drilling into the asteroid. (I refuse to link to that piece of crap movie.) They insert some explosives. Apparently this giant asteroid will only need two of them. Bullshit. They insert the second explosive, and then the asteroid starts attacking them?

Ms. Fairweather starts yelling at them to pull out, and Carter is all "well, we'll have to detonate everything manually" so they fully form the omega megazord and then they get the omega missile, and then they hit the explosives with the sword, which makes everything explode? The kid yells very dramatically and seriously, who was watching Armageddon when they wrote this script? WHO DO I HAVE TO BLAME.  There is a giant explosion, but Carter's voice comes in and they are all alive and everything is destroyed.

The inappropriately young friend gives Joel the credit. Joel congratulates Ms. Fairweather, and she tells him that Simon did it. Joel tells the kid to ask Ms. Fairweather out, and the way he phrases it TOTALLY makes it sound like the kid should ask her out for himself. He lets the kid wear the hat and everything. She then agrees to take Simon to the planetarium. Kid is way better at this than you are, Joel. And he is not an ass.

Fish: 5. Anything that I have to compare to Armageddon is an AUTOMATIC FIVE FISH. On the other hand, the kid is super great, and I look forward to him being a Ranger/tech one day.

Fic we want: SERIOUSLY, THAT KID IS GREAT

Random thought that didn't fit into the recap: Man, all of their plans seem to involve DESTROYING EARTH. Or is the magic asteroid not going to totally destroy the planet? Where exactly are they planning on building their palace anyway, if an ASTEROID WIPES OUT EVERYTHING.

Episode 357 - The Queen's Return

WE'RE BACK! I know it's been, like, half a year. But we're back. For reals this time!

Okay, so part of the problem is that this season is so. Freaking. BORING. I just can't bring myself to care about... any of it. I actually had to go look up the episodes we'd already recapped because I'd forgotten pretty much everything except Ryan being shirtless.

We start off with villains! Who's names I can't remember! And don't even care enough about to go look up! So we'll just call them Symbol Guy, Horned Guy, Whingy Demon Bratling (who I almost called Fabulously Shiny Red Guy, because he is super fabulous), and Weasly Less Awesome The Count. Plus Lady Who Can't Act. They are planning plans. Or something.

So then we get to our intrepid heroes. Carter is driving. Joel is being a jackass in the back of the jeep and singing horribly to some old cd player (that probably wasn't that old when this aired). He is not wearing a seat belt. Carter slams on the brakes and Joel REALLY should have gone flying out of that Jeep and being horribly maimed by the road. If, y'know, physics existed in this universe. Chad and Kelsey are rollerblading and they stop at the same time as Carter. Because there is an Ominous Black Cloud in the sky.

Ryan knows about it and finally deems it the right time to tell them it's an evil ceremony. Something he could have mentioned, oh, I don't know, any other time prior to this point! So off go the Rangers to Stop Things. First they have to save people from a burning building, though, and once again I wonder what happened to the firefighters in Mariner Bay.

This leaves Ryan to go off and stop the summoning. He gets caught by Lady Who Can't Act, though, and thrown down to take part in the summoning. As a sacrifice, I suppose. Which is a bit dark for a kids show! Or maybe just to be tied up and look attractive. Symbol Guy pulls some Space Doesn't Work Like That and Lady Who Can't Act sounds less than excited that now her Queen can have a corporeal body again.

Luckily the Rangers finish with the building-on-fire and show up just in time to interrupt the ceremony! They free Ryan and fight the bad guys and I guess Ryan can morph now? Because he finally did and knocks out some underlings. I forgot how cute they are in this series! Why don't we get to see the little bat guys more often?

Oh well. Carter takes out Symbol Guy, or so they think. Instead he just get bigger. It looks like he has little Christmas lights dangling from his hat and it's also the first time I found him even remotely interesting. But he's big so that means all the zords must come out to play.

There is fire and brimstone and things shooting from the damaged building into space. Physics, show. This is not how it works. The ceremony is sort of complete and the Queen sort of shows up, but she's mostly just a big head floating in the sky, and everybody is really happy. She is clearly What's His Face's (Lokar) girlfriend. I wonder if he knows he has a whiny demon bratling? In celebration of her triumphant return, she plans to destroy the city herself. She sends a tsunami, but Ryan thrusts a sword into things and jams up the Evil Flow. She vanishes. The planets come out of alignment (SPACE DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT MKAY). Ryan appears to be No Longer With Us.

The rangers and all the zords beat the Symbol Guy. Whingy Demon Bratling is sad he won't see his mother again, except then she's totally there. Or something.

Ryan crawls out of the rubble apparently unharmed. LIKE MAGIC. Back at the base, Ryan decides to leave to figure out how to capture the bad guys again. It has Super Dramatic Music. Really it just reeks of "Making new footage is out of our budget now". TSB says, at least they didn't send him to a Peace Conference. AGREED. Although maybe he really went on some secret project for Torchwood...

The only thing that could make that ending more bearable would be if Ryan had been shirtless. Or Carter had been shirtless. Or Ryan and Carter had been making out. OR THEY HAD BEEN MAKING OUT SHIRTLESS! That's how the episode ended in my head.

Why so boring, season? WHY?

Episode 356 - A Face From the Past

Previously. Ryan is no longer shirtless every episode. Woe.

Kelsey is rollerblading through the Aquabase, because she is a) apparently not very good at it, and b) a failbot. I mean, I like her. But that is super irresponsible.

Captain Awesome then tells them that he has an important assignment - they need a day off! Which, hey! Is good. Because all work and no play makes them a very dull team. Or something.

Everyone decides to go to the beach, and Joel is busy being an asshat in a wifebeater, Chad and Kelsey go surfing, and Dana decides to bury her brother. Dana, unbury him so we can ogle. Carter, on the other hand, is going to go train. Captain Awesome is all "I told you to take a day off" but Carter is all "from training? Never." So Captain Awesome offers to be his sparring partner.

Captain Awesome is all "don't go easy on me just because I'm an old man" and he ends up flipping Carter. Then they go jogging. Carter offers to slow down for him, but Captain Awesome is all "you're too slow."

The villains then decide to knock out the power to Mariner Bay, which should also shut down the Aquabase. Because they don't have backup generators or something.

Captain Mitchell is all "when I was your age" to Carter, and he tries to convince Carter to take a day off. SERIOUSLY BEST DADDY, EVEN TO KIDS WHO AREN'T HIS.

Carter tells Captain Awesome about the fireman who saved his life as a kid. Carter wants to be as good as him, even though he doesn't know who the mysterious firefighter is. He has such issues. But it is an adorable bonding moment that is sadly interrupted by monsters.

Carter and Captain Awesome show up at the burning power plant, (which was being visited by a field trip of tiny children) and Carter morphs, and Captain Awesome dons firefighter gear and they both go in to help. Because apparently there are just spare uniforms lying around. and the firefighters aren't going to notice or care.

Captain Awesome and Carter make a good team. The rest of the Rangers all show up to help, and Ms. Fairweather calls in to say another power plant is under attack. Captain awesome sends all the Rangers to help that one, saying that he'll handle things here. The tiny children just huddle in the burning building, when Captain Awesome, who is apparently the only firefighter, shows up. Unfortunately, one of the tiny children forgot her bear, so she goes back for the bear.

Meanwhile, the Rangers fight the monster and beat it. (Seriously, super dull.) Then they go back to the fire, and discover Captain Awesome has gone back for the girl and her bear. Carter runs in after them, and Carter realizes that Captain Awesome is the one who saved him years ago. And as he has his realization he just STANDS THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIRE, before Captain Awesome yells at him to run, and Carter gets the girl out.

A fireball comes out of the building, and Dana flips out, assuming her dad is dead, but he has managed to escape unharmed. Then there are hugs. Unfortunately we have to cut away from the heartwarming moment because zords and monsters growing. Luckily, the fight is over quickly, and the villains go talk more about the planets aligning or whatever. Vypra's acting is pretty bad, as usual.

Back on the Aquabase, Carter walks in on Ms. Fairweather patching up Captain Mitchell, and he sees a burn pattern on the Captain's back. The Captain confirms that he was the one who saved Carter all those years ago. And then he's been stalking him ever since. It's both creepy and sweet.

Carter is all "I'm going to train even harder to make you proud!" The Captain again tells him to go take a day off.

And now I ship them. I AM GOING TO HELL.

Anyway, back at the beach, Carter shows up with his shirt unbuttoned. Everyone is like "Carter can have fun? What?" So he decides to spray them with a super soaker while Captain Awesome looks on approvingly.

Fish: 3. It was super cliche, but in a good way.

Today on Power Rangers, the Cocoon of Evil kicks some ass.

So the Cocoon of Evil has made it's way to the city. It has lasers! And is impervious to the Rangers blasters! There is a whole plethora of bad guys just lined up waiting and they are not disappointed. The blasters cause a big explosion and the Cocoon of Evil bursts open, tearing a large crater in the concrete. An evil laugh emerges from the rubble.

Olympius rises from the smoke and ash All Grown Up. He's cocky. And apparently rightfully so because he first throws Carter under his boot and then manages to take down the other four rangers in one blow. He kidnaps them and then suffers some kind of migraine. He is forced to retreat.

The bad guys are very boring. Olympius monologues about his plan and restoring his powers and blah blah blah. It's boring. Apparently monsters lose their power in water, so they can't infiltrate the Aqua Base. Except Olympius can totally change his shape to look like the rangers he has trapped in his little star thingy.

Ryan knows an awful lot about Olympius and the Star Power and he explains everything. Meanwhile Olympius approaches as Chad. Chad looks really good evil. He should be evil more often. He throws some dirt on himself and stumbles out to Carter. Carter buys it hook, line, and sinker and takes him straight home. He's not the brightest crayon in the box.

"Kelsey" comes running up and says everybody is back safe and sound and they can call off the search party Captain Awesome ordered. Carter is suspicious but goes with it anyway. "Kelsey" tries to break into the computer. Unsuccessfully. She breaks into Captain Awesome's office instead and, upon being nearly caught, switches to "Dana" instead. "Joel" even manages to fool Ms. Fairweather and gets the doors open. Seriously lady! He didn't hit on you! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A DEAD GIVEAWAY!

This is not actually a bad plan on the part of the bad guys! It seems to be working, mostly because it seems the Aqua Base is full of idiots.

Of course, then Ms. Fairweather figures out there's a problem and tries to stop Joel. It's only when he attacks her that anybody figures out he's not Joel. Olympius changes back into himself and grabs Ms. Fairweather to use as a shield. Yes, let's put the woman in  danger. Great job show.

Ryan attacks from behind. Carter throws Olympius into the water and manages to avoid getting electrocuted despite the massive surge of electricity going all over the place, and then they both end up on the beach. The other rangers are released from the star and the bad guys have to retreat so Olympius can recover from the water issue. One guy stays behind.

There is a fight. It is boring. The rangers win. I can't even remember this bad guy's name.

Olympius beats himself up over losing the rangers. The other villains mock him for being so young.

The other rangers get on Carter about Olympius getting in. They are really mean about the fact that he couldn't tell the difference between Olympius and his friends. They back him up until he falls in the water again. Poor Carter. That wasn't very nice.

5 fish. Oh god show. This was awful. Just... seriously. I cannot wait for this season to be over. It's so god awful boring.

Episode 354 - The Cobra Strikes

Today on Power Rangers, we have even MORE Ryan angst. I approve of this, as it seems to be about the only interesting thing about this season thus far.

Ryan is still shirtless (more, please) in the medical ward. Ms. Fairweather is examining the cobra tattoo. I'm pretty sure she's not a medical doctor... but whatever.

Back in the city, there is a sudden darkness overtaking things. The rangers rush off and Ryan gets to pout because he gets told he can't go. Diabolico has brought down his freaky three-monster combo monster, Trika. It's boring. I didn't like these monsters when they were individuals. This weird three sided thing is just... blah.

Ryan can't seem to rest. He's anxious, so he watches the fight. The rangers aren't doing so hot, but he can't go morph. I think this fight would be way more interesting if it was all shot from Ryan's angsty point of view. The rangers were beat all to hell, unfortunately. Ryan feels useless because he couldn't help them, so he decides to figure out how to go stop the cobra himself.

Kelsey is upset because that monster is as strong as all three combined. Seeing as that monster IS all three combined, I'm not sure why this is so surprising. They decide to rush finishing the new project, the Battle Boosters, because it's going to be the only way to stop him. In other words, new toys. Trika goes back to Earth and starts attacking civilians because he wants the rangers to come play. They show up, the battle boosters are done right after they get thrown around a bit, and all of sudden everybody has a number keypad on their wrist. Apparently that's the battle booster? It's... whatever. It's another boring battle. Not even ten minutes in and we're two battles under our belt? This is not going to be the best episode.

Except then we get more Ryan angst! I love Ryan angst! He finds some ancient ruins and then he finds a cobra on a wall. He touches it and this apparently calls forth a cobra monster. He's going to fight it on his own.

Meanwhile, the rangers have destroyed Trika. Diabolico isn't happy about that, so he goes down to fight them himself. I still don't care about this fight. I think this is supposed to be some badass thing? But it's not. At least we get shots of Ryan's fight cut into the Diabolico/Zord fight. The Supertrain Megazord takes a big hit, gets a hole blasted through it, and this is the first time I DO NOT CARE ONE BIT that a megazord has been completely destroyed.

At the interesting fight, Ryan morphed to try to beat the cobra, but he couldn't maintain it. His cobra tattoo was too close to killing him. He demorphs, TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF (yay!!!), and then blasts a pillar of stone down on top of the cobra monster, destroying it. His tattoo fades (which how does he see it? It's on his back...) and he's free of the curse. And still shirtless. If he could just remain shirtless forever, that would be great.

He morphs, gets in his zord, and goes to join the other rangers while reassuring everybody that he broke the curse and the cobra is gone and yada yada yada. His zord and the rescue zords make some new megazord which completely negates any sadness we were supposed to feel over the destruction of the Supertrain megazord. Not that I felt anything anyway? But I think I was supposed to be upset by it. I just don't care. About any of this. This fight is the most boring ever. And I find most of the fights boring, so that says a lot.

Vypra continues to not be able to act and falls to the ground in despair that Diabolico is gone. The red glowy thing from Diabolico goes into the baby thing that really should be better supervised than it is. He ends up encased in a cocoon.

Everybody is celebrating back at the base. They think they're free, except then the alarms go off and they have to go fight something, because they don't have drills apparently. The rangers rush into the city and Queen Bansheera shows up in that glowy smoke thing she does. Ryan tells them about her and how badass she is. She won't be there to fight, but she says her son will be ready soon and he'll destroy them.

I really don't care. The only sad this episode gives me is the I-think-these-are-the-last-shirtless-Ryan-scenes sad.

Too boring for fish. No, really. It was. The only interesting parts of this episode were the Ryan-angst-shirtless parts and they were too few and far between. Even they weren't really INTERESTING... just... y'know... shirtless.

Episode 353 - Strength of the Sun

Long time no recap. Sorry?

So Queen bansheera is all "you have failed me for the last time" to Diabolico and "I will take away your star power." Diabolico is all "worst kid, I should kill him." Then all the other monsters show up before he can. Diabolico is all "just destroy them."

Villains, I wish you were more interesting. Can we get to Ryan being emo and taking off his shirt or something?

Back at the Aquabase, Ms. Fairweather is designing something new. But there is a problem, by the name with Ryan. The new toy is useless without him. Ryan overhears, and he has a sad. Sadly, the sad doesn't include him removing his shirt.

In the cafeteria, Joel and Chad don't get why Ryan isn't allowed to morph, because the monsters are still out there. UM, MAYBE BECAUSE HE WILL DIE? A monster alert goes off, and Ryan gives everyone the saddest look, because he is a puppy, and then they leave without him. Ryan, break the curse first, THEN morph.

Anyway, the Rangers fight the monsters and the monsters are winning. I guess some of the effects are cool? I am just not emotionally invested in the fight. Dana then suggests splitting them up, so she and Kelsey lead off one of the monster/demon things. Dana then announces there's a part 2 to the plan. The monster calls them "my little pretties" and then Kelsey and Dana shoot him. (We really need more of the girls bonding!)

Back at the base, Ryan is having a sad as he watches the other guys lose. Luckily, the girls have come to the rescue. The Rangers summon weapons, but no use, and they all collapse. The monster gives an incredibly lame pun, and the monster that the girls knocked out gets up again.

Supposedly though, this is part of Carter's plan, although I have no idea when they PLANNED this plan. The monster gets close to them, and they shoot him at point blank range. (Not a bad plan!)

Diabolico makes the destroyed monster grow, and Carter summons the toys. We get the LONG zord summoning sequence. I guess the episode ran a little short? Look, if you needed to kill time, there's plenty more shots of Ryan having a sad that you could have used.

Diabolico makes the second monster grow as well. Ms. Fairweather is all "we're fucked" and Captain Mitchell starts yelling about putting all the reserves. Ryan stares at his morpher, thinks about the cobra, and then leaves to activate the new zord, and he morphs. He's going to risk himself. ♥

I'm not really sure where he got the tech skills to activate the zord. Captain Mitchell tries to order his son back, but Ryan is all "they need my help." Nobody can really argue with that. Ryan to the rescue!

Ryan has to energize the solar panels so he has to change course and head to the sun, and the tattoo on his back starts to climb again. He goes into space, fully energizes, and the his zord jumps on the Rangers back. Ms. Fairweather gives a quick explanation, while everyone is busy being super concerned for Ryan instead.

Ryan does a lot of impressive stunts and destroys a monster, but the second one hits him, and he has to fight through the pain of the cobra climbing him to take out the other one.

Everyone congratulates Ryan, but he's passed out in his cockpit from the pain. We then cut to him shirtless in the infirmary. All he has to say is that the zord is totally awesome. Then he asks Dana if their dad will be mad. As soon as Dana sees their dad coming, she's all "BYE."

Captain Awesome tells Ryan that he's proud of him, and he would have done the same thing. Ryan then rolls over, and we see how high the tattoo has climbed. It's not good. The next time he morphs will probably be the one that kills him.

Meanwhile, Diabolico is all "what, you're not sick of these monsters yet? I'm totally going to bring them back again."

Fish: 2. How do you make an episode about Ryan angst this dull?