Previously on Power Rangers, Joel is a douche. Kelsey has a super awesome Action Grandma. Ryan is no longer shirtless and also far far away and I have a sad. But today we have a Chad episode and that makes me happy!
So the Big Bads are having a dinner party. They're eating rodents and it makes me sad because rodents are cute and furry and sweet and oh so very smart! Well, rats are. And they say they're eating rats but they look like mice. ANYWAY. There is arguing and Big Bads being... well... rather like stupid frat boys.
Meanwhile, the rangers are doing actual TRAINING EXERCISES! Also, hello there Chad's Arms! It's so very nice to see you... can we see more of you? As the training exercise finishes, Chad's old mentor shows up. Out of the blue. In the middle of nowhere. For the sole purpose of chastising him for straying from the path he had set for Chad. Apparently Chad could really have Been Something. Because, y'know, BEING A POWER RANGER and SAVING THE WHOLE WORLD is such a waste, right?
Back at the base, Chad has a sad because his second daddy mentor is disappointed in him. Poor Chad! He tells his woes to Kelsey and it's super cute. But they get interrupted by a big orange cyclops guy who thinks he's the best. He's boring, but he does challenge them to hand to hand combat instead of hand to weapon combat. Except they still don't fight unmorphed. But whatever.
Chad's old Sensei thinks he can beat Cyclopter and challenges him to a fight. And manages to actually kick his ass. Everybody is super impressed. Chad attempts to introduce everybody, but Sensei is having NONE of that. He has no interest in the rangers. Because he has a stick up his rear end. Kelsey, luckily, is having none of his having none of them. She pleads Chad's case, but doesn't get very far.
I really kind of want to just smack this guy on the back of the head. Because he's throwing away something really awesome in Chad! Because he's too stuck in his idea of the way the world should work.
Meanwhile, Cyclopter goes to Chad's old Sensei. He has changed his ways and wants nothing more than to become his student. And the dude FALLS FOR IT. He agrees to teach Cyclopter. This will not end well. Which Chad tries to point out to him. But Cyclopter "gave his word of honour" and is apparently a better student than Chad because he's "more dedicated" or something. REALLY DUDE???? CHAD IS THE FREAKING BLUE RANGER! GET OVER YOURSELF.
Chad throws a bit of a fit back at the base and Kelsey tries to point out that his pride is getting in the way. His Sensei is in trouble and needs Chad's help. He should be out there helping him get away from the monster, not pouting. Though I can't really blame him for pouting. I would too. Anyway, he goes out to find Cyclopter. Who has already learned everything he can learn and has basically shoved Sensei away, as he deems him unnecessary. WHAT THE HELL DID HE EXPECT THOUGH? HE'S A FREAKING MONSTER!
Chad is determined to fix things, though, so he helps his Sensei recover before Carter calls him for help. Chad is ready to run off when Sensei says he can't go, that Cyclopter will know everything Chad has forgotten. Except Chad has not forgotten his training. Because he's Chad! And he's awesome! And dedicated! AND TOTALLY THE AWESOMESAUCE BLUE RANGER, OKAY? I guess this is all Sensei needed because he's all "Yeah, okay, go."
AND THEN WE GET AN UNMORPHED FIGHT! AND CHAD IS AMAZING AND I LOVE HIM. HE IS THE BEST THERE EVER WAS. Eventually there is morphing and monster growing and all the zords and whatever. I just want to watch that unmorphed fight again!
Back at the base, Chad and Mr. Tamashiro make up. He wants a tour of the Aquabase. Chad goes all goopy AW SURROGATE DADDY on him. It's syrupy cute. Resolved really fast and really easily, but whatever. Chad is adorable and I love everything about him.
5 fish. Because I spent the whole episode wanting to smack the old man with a frying pan and telling him that is NOT how one treats a student/surrogate son and goddamn just be proud of him for all the good he's doing in the world.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Episode 359 - The Fifth Crystal
Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange is now open for sign-ups!
Anyway, we are updating again without a super long hiatus? The world must be ending. Or something.
So we open with Vypra Mission Impossible Style hijjinks, including some music that is designed to evoke that particular feeling. It's all very dark, and I feel like somewhere the Leverage team is probably laughing their asses off. Man, I love Leverage. Anyway, Vypra steals some funky looking crystal, which is apparently the fourth one, and she looks very pleased with herself.
One of the monsters gives some exposition about how they need one more crystal and then they can destroy all the things. Cue themesong. (Which is still awesome.)
Back at the Aquabase, apparently the Rangers are going to investigate stolen crystals. Carter is totally confused, because um, they aren't the cops. But some special agent shows up to explain that they are starlight crystals, and only 5 of them exist in the world. They.... look vaguely like dilithium crystals. Dana is all "how are we going to find it?" but Kelsey tells them her grandmother has the last one. Apparently she hasn't spoken to her grandmother in years, because they don't get along. Her grandmother was apparently super awesome as a young woman, but now she apparently only cares about money.
Her grandmother is very stuck up, and assumes that Kelsey is only there to get money. Although to be fair, if you show up at a rich woman's house and are all "hey, I need some help" I... don't really blame you. Kelsey and Carter do a very bad job of explaining why they need the crystal. I love her grandmother a little bit. Her grandmother gives her the "this is super important to me" speech, and agrees to give Kelsey the crystal anyway. Kelsey promises to keep it safe. I sense disaster.
So they are transporting the crystal to... somewhere? With Kelsey handcuffed to the suitcase containing it. Vypra shows up in her car of doom and sends Batlings to over run the van. Kelsey uses the suitcase as a WEAPON, which is one of the most moronic things that Rangers have ever used as weapons, and Vypra then cuts the handcuff off Kelsey, and takes the crystal. Luckily, this is when the Rangers all show up, and Carter manages to get all five crystals. Vypra and the Batlings vanish.
The Rangers hand the crystals off to the special agent, but its really the monster, who runs off with all the crystals. Kelsey's grandmother gives Kelsey the "I couldn't be more disappointed in you" speech. Carter then gives the grandmother the "all the money in the world can't buy you a decent personality" speech, and Kelsey starts crying about how all she ever wanted was for her grandmother to love her, and then she starts blaming herself. The grandmother (who frankly is allowed to be upset with them for losing her crystal) watches from the window.
Somehow Kelsey sees batlings driving around on a truck, and she rollerblades after them, and makes one of the most impossible jumps in the history of power rangers. They then go to an army base and nobody has noticed that Kelsey snuck in. They are not very smart.
Back in demon world, Queen Bansheera gives orders to Olympius and Loki to keep the Rangers from interfering. At Aquabase, Carter is looking for Kelsey. And then the alarm goes off.
Kelsey is still spying on the monsters at the abandoned warehouse/army base and the crystals are powering up the warp core, and then Kelsey gets noticed. There's a fight on rollerblades, which is awesome. I want Jubilee and Kelsey to be BFF now. They would totally get along. All the batlings fire at Kelsey, but she outskates them, but eventually she gets caught and they pull her rollerblades off her feet.
The other Rangers are on their way to rescue Kelsey when they notice Olympius, and there's a fight. And a really nice shot of Carter's ass. And also Chad gets pinned to the ground and starts moaning. This is totally relevant.
So the laser warp core is being moved into position, when ACTION GRANDMA comes to the rescue. Man, now I ship ACTION GRANDMA with Grandma Matchmaker. Or at least I want them to go and talk about their granddaughters the yellow rangers. And how they totally saved them. Because seriously. Old ladies being awesome! ACTION GRANDMA totally drives a forklift into the laser and laughs maniacally, and it is GREAT. Seriously, I think she is my favorite ever. The warp core laser explodes and the crystal is destroyed.
Kelsey asks what her grandmother is doing, and ACTION GRANDMA says she came to get the most precious thing in the world. Kelsey thinks her grandmother means the crystal, but it is OBVIOUSLY Kelsey.
Kelsey then heads over to help the other Rangers fight Olympius while ACTION GRANDMA is all "I'll be fine." She's probably destroying an entire army of Batlings herself. Anyway, the Rangers summon weapons and fight monsters and stuff happens, I guess. The monster gives the "you'll pay for ruining my plan" defeat flag, so Kelsey kicks his ass. They destroyed the monster without it growing.
The Rangers are all discussing what happened, and how Kelsey is sad because her grandmother will never forgive her. But Kelsey shows up on rollerblades to say that she is going on a picnic with someone. And ACTION GRANDMA appears, also on rollerblades. None of the Rangers want to go on the picnic with them, and ACTION GRANDMA calls them chickens. They do fun rollerblading stunts together and skate off.
THIS WAS SO GREAT WHY ISN'T LIGHTSPEED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME???
Fish: 3. The science makes no sense, but WHATEVER. ACTION GRANDMA.
Fic we want: GRANDMA MATCHMAKER/ACTION GRANDMA. Or at least them hanging out and being awesome together. SERIOUSLY.
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