Sunday, March 17, 2013

Episode 354 - The Cobra Strikes


Today on Power Rangers, we have even MORE Ryan angst. I approve of this, as it seems to be about the only interesting thing about this season thus far.

Ryan is still shirtless (more, please) in the medical ward. Ms. Fairweather is examining the cobra tattoo. I'm pretty sure she's not a medical doctor... but whatever.

Back in the city, there is a sudden darkness overtaking things. The rangers rush off and Ryan gets to pout because he gets told he can't go. Diabolico has brought down his freaky three-monster combo monster, Trika. It's boring. I didn't like these monsters when they were individuals. This weird three sided thing is just... blah.

Ryan can't seem to rest. He's anxious, so he watches the fight. The rangers aren't doing so hot, but he can't go morph. I think this fight would be way more interesting if it was all shot from Ryan's angsty point of view. The rangers were beat all to hell, unfortunately. Ryan feels useless because he couldn't help them, so he decides to figure out how to go stop the cobra himself.

Kelsey is upset because that monster is as strong as all three combined. Seeing as that monster IS all three combined, I'm not sure why this is so surprising. They decide to rush finishing the new project, the Battle Boosters, because it's going to be the only way to stop him. In other words, new toys. Trika goes back to Earth and starts attacking civilians because he wants the rangers to come play. They show up, the battle boosters are done right after they get thrown around a bit, and all of sudden everybody has a number keypad on their wrist. Apparently that's the battle booster? It's... whatever. It's another boring battle. Not even ten minutes in and we're two battles under our belt? This is not going to be the best episode.

Except then we get more Ryan angst! I love Ryan angst! He finds some ancient ruins and then he finds a cobra on a wall. He touches it and this apparently calls forth a cobra monster. He's going to fight it on his own.

Meanwhile, the rangers have destroyed Trika. Diabolico isn't happy about that, so he goes down to fight them himself. I still don't care about this fight. I think this is supposed to be some badass thing? But it's not. At least we get shots of Ryan's fight cut into the Diabolico/Zord fight. The Supertrain Megazord takes a big hit, gets a hole blasted through it, and this is the first time I DO NOT CARE ONE BIT that a megazord has been completely destroyed.

At the interesting fight, Ryan morphed to try to beat the cobra, but he couldn't maintain it. His cobra tattoo was too close to killing him. He demorphs, TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF (yay!!!), and then blasts a pillar of stone down on top of the cobra monster, destroying it. His tattoo fades (which how does he see it? It's on his back...) and he's free of the curse. And still shirtless. If he could just remain shirtless forever, that would be great.

He morphs, gets in his zord, and goes to join the other rangers while reassuring everybody that he broke the curse and the cobra is gone and yada yada yada. His zord and the rescue zords make some new megazord which completely negates any sadness we were supposed to feel over the destruction of the Supertrain megazord. Not that I felt anything anyway? But I think I was supposed to be upset by it. I just don't care. About any of this. This fight is the most boring ever. And I find most of the fights boring, so that says a lot.

Vypra continues to not be able to act and falls to the ground in despair that Diabolico is gone. The red glowy thing from Diabolico goes into the baby thing that really should be better supervised than it is. He ends up encased in a cocoon.

Everybody is celebrating back at the base. They think they're free, except then the alarms go off and they have to go fight something, because they don't have drills apparently. The rangers rush into the city and Queen Bansheera shows up in that glowy smoke thing she does. Ryan tells them about her and how badass she is. She won't be there to fight, but she says her son will be ready soon and he'll destroy them.

I really don't care. The only sad this episode gives me is the I-think-these-are-the-last-shirtless-Ryan-scenes sad.

Too boring for fish. No, really. It was. The only interesting parts of this episode were the Ryan-angst-shirtless parts and they were too few and far between. Even they weren't really INTERESTING... just... y'know... shirtless.

Episode 353 - Strength of the Sun

Long time no recap. Sorry?

So Queen bansheera is all "you have failed me for the last time" to Diabolico and "I will take away your star power." Diabolico is all "worst kid, I should kill him." Then all the other monsters show up before he can. Diabolico is all "just destroy them."

Villains, I wish you were more interesting. Can we get to Ryan being emo and taking off his shirt or something?

Back at the Aquabase, Ms. Fairweather is designing something new. But there is a problem, by the name with Ryan. The new toy is useless without him. Ryan overhears, and he has a sad. Sadly, the sad doesn't include him removing his shirt.

In the cafeteria, Joel and Chad don't get why Ryan isn't allowed to morph, because the monsters are still out there. UM, MAYBE BECAUSE HE WILL DIE? A monster alert goes off, and Ryan gives everyone the saddest look, because he is a puppy, and then they leave without him. Ryan, break the curse first, THEN morph.

Anyway, the Rangers fight the monsters and the monsters are winning. I guess some of the effects are cool? I am just not emotionally invested in the fight. Dana then suggests splitting them up, so she and Kelsey lead off one of the monster/demon things. Dana then announces there's a part 2 to the plan. The monster calls them "my little pretties" and then Kelsey and Dana shoot him. (We really need more of the girls bonding!)

Back at the base, Ryan is having a sad as he watches the other guys lose. Luckily, the girls have come to the rescue. The Rangers summon weapons, but no use, and they all collapse. The monster gives an incredibly lame pun, and the monster that the girls knocked out gets up again.

Supposedly though, this is part of Carter's plan, although I have no idea when they PLANNED this plan. The monster gets close to them, and they shoot him at point blank range. (Not a bad plan!)

Diabolico makes the destroyed monster grow, and Carter summons the toys. We get the LONG zord summoning sequence. I guess the episode ran a little short? Look, if you needed to kill time, there's plenty more shots of Ryan having a sad that you could have used.

Diabolico makes the second monster grow as well. Ms. Fairweather is all "we're fucked" and Captain Mitchell starts yelling about putting all the reserves. Ryan stares at his morpher, thinks about the cobra, and then leaves to activate the new zord, and he morphs. He's going to risk himself. ♥

I'm not really sure where he got the tech skills to activate the zord. Captain Mitchell tries to order his son back, but Ryan is all "they need my help." Nobody can really argue with that. Ryan to the rescue!

Ryan has to energize the solar panels so he has to change course and head to the sun, and the tattoo on his back starts to climb again. He goes into space, fully energizes, and the his zord jumps on the Rangers back. Ms. Fairweather gives a quick explanation, while everyone is busy being super concerned for Ryan instead.

Ryan does a lot of impressive stunts and destroys a monster, but the second one hits him, and he has to fight through the pain of the cobra climbing him to take out the other one.

Everyone congratulates Ryan, but he's passed out in his cockpit from the pain. We then cut to him shirtless in the infirmary. All he has to say is that the zord is totally awesome. Then he asks Dana if their dad will be mad. As soon as Dana sees their dad coming, she's all "BYE."

Captain Awesome tells Ryan that he's proud of him, and he would have done the same thing. Ryan then rolls over, and we see how high the tattoo has climbed. It's not good. The next time he morphs will probably be the one that kills him.

Meanwhile, Diabolico is all "what, you're not sick of these monsters yet? I'm totally going to bring them back again."

Fish: 2. How do you make an episode about Ryan angst this dull?