Episode 350 - Truth Discovered

Today on Power Rangers, Dana discovers her brother is still alive and we get a fine piece of Titanium Ass.

It's exposition time! Captain Mitchell flashes back to the car accident that supposedly took his son's life. He was driving them home from his mother's house, both children in the backseat, when a big rig runs them off the road. The children were playing with new toys in the backseat DISTURBINGLY UNRESTRAINED. Seriously, not a seatbelt in sight and frankly, both were small enough to be in boosters, even for that time period. Baby!Dana could even have been in a harness (by today's standards). Captain Mitchel manages to make it out of the car as it plummets over the cliff, and he's got both children clinging to him. He's holding tightly to a root and Dana is holding him tightly. Baby!Ryan is slipping, unable to hold to his leg. Ryan is about to fall and Spirit!Diabolico shows up, says he'll save the boys life, but the boy will belong to him. Captain Mitchell initially says no, but then Ryan lets go and falls, and Captain Mitchell cries out for Diabolico to save his son. He does so, but takes Ryan with him, promising Ryan will vanish until his twentieth birthday.

Back in present time, everybody has a sad over the heartbreaking story and really, poor Dana, what a way to find out your brother is still alive.

Meanwhile, Diabolico tells Ryan all about that night and how his father was going to let him die and Diabolico saved him. How Captain Mitchell only loved Dana and tossed Ryan away like trash. AND OMG THIS WHOLE STORY IS THE BEST THING EVER. MAJOR DADDY ISSUES FOR THE MOTHERFUCKING WIIIIINNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

So it's Ryan's twentieth birthday and that means he's back with a vengeance and a super nice Titanium Ass. Captain Mitchell is understandably distracted. He won't look at reports. Barely acknowledges his subordinates. Then disappears to look for Ryan. Ryan is super focused though, because he crumples up a picture he had of himself, Dana, and their father, then says Captain Mitchell will live to regret being such a crummy father. Oh Ryan! OH I LOVE YOU ALREADY YOU ANGRY, MISGUIDED HOT ASS!

Dana decides to go find them and leaves the other rangers behind. They are understandably not happy about it. She finds her brother and confronts him, surprised to discover his anger and misconceptions about their childhood. There is a pretty epic fight between the siblings and okay, so maybe I only care about it because of the awesome childhood angsty dialogue, but whatever. It's amazeballs.

Dana refuses to hurt him. She insists her father loved Ryan, tells him about their childhood and how he wanted to grow up to be a firefighter just like their dad, and then the others show up just as Ryan starts to remember. He runs off, unable to continue fighting his sister.

Monster of the week shows up and I don't care because HE doesn't have sibling angst and is therefor irrelevant to this episode (as far as I'm concerned). Fight fight, monster grows, all the toys, yada yada, you know how this plays out.

Back to Ryan! Just as it should be! He's having angst at the edge of the cliff where the car crashed. Captain Mitchell shows up and realizes Ryan doesn't remember. He tells him exactly what happened and Ryan struggles with the fuzzy memory he has of that night and what he's been told all these past twelve(ish) years by Diabolico. IT IS FULL OF ANGST AND WIN AND I LOVE IT SO VERY MUCH.

HE PUSHES HIS FATHER OVER THE EDGE. Because he is sure his father let him fall. They both go tumbling and Captain Mitchell grabs hold of that same root. Ryan clings to his hand and Captain Mitchell cries for him to hold on, that he can save him, and Ryan REMEMBERS. HE FINALLY REMEMBERS! And then he pulls himself up to grasp the root, too, but it can't support them both, so Captain Mitchell smiles and lets go. Ryan just got his Daddy back and he's having none of this sacrificial heroic shit, so he falls, morphs, and catches his father on the way down.

SHOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOW CAN YOU BE SO PERFECT??????

Captain Mitchell apologizes. He would have given his life to save Ryan's, and that's true, that's so totally true, because I GET IT. I DO. He doesn't want to lose him, and it's all tearful and heartfelt and the others are there and THIS IS SO HARD GUYS. Ryan drops the Titanium Morpher and runs away. Because he's scared and hurt and so very very confused. But he'll be back. Because he's Sixth Ranger Titanium Ass.

He has to go confront Diabolico, because he remembers what happened. He knows how it all went down. It's glorious. And his revenge will be epicly sweet. Oh yes.

2 fish. And okay, so there is the off-the-fish-scale question of how Diabolico was able to save Ryan, what with being all IMPRISONED and all, but frankly, I really don't care about that big gaping school of fish. Because the rest of this episode is GOLD.

Episode 349 - From Deep in the Shadows

Power Rangers Megaforce on Saturday at 1 pm on Nick! You've all seen the promos, right? RIGHT? Because if not, you should go watch them immediately.

Anyway! We are up to the start of the best part of Lightspeed. (Yes, yes, feel free to argue with me. But I love this!) And this was the part of the season that actually made me interested in LR the first time I was watching. In fact, this was the only part I watched on TV when it was originally airing. (And the kids I babysat for totally had it on tape, and I watched it a lot with them. Priorities, I have them.)

So! Today, on Power Rangers, we get the first of the US only Power Rangers! Titanium Ranger, here we come!

We start at the Aquabase, where Joel is late again. Carter is being hooked up to all sorts of devices, including a new morpher, and everything is Super Serious. And Carter looks super hot. (Totally relevant.)

Carter dramatically touches the morpher and calls out "Titanium Power!" and then we get all sorts of wacky mad science effects, and he appears to be in pain, and show, if you'd like to linger more on his face, I'd be okay with that. Anyway, he manages to sustain a morph for a second, and everyone is super concerned about him. (Also, look, I know its the US's first time trying to design suits, but that thing is FUGLY.)

Later, Captain Mitchell and Ms. Fairweather discuss whether to continue testing the Titanium Powers. Ms. Fairweather says its too powerful for an ordinary human. Captain Mitchell agrees, but says it would have been fantastic. He then locks the morpher up in a safe.

Then, we get a dramatic shot of him staring at a photograph, and then Dana brings in a birthday cake! They have the most adorable relationship. We then find out that she has a big brother who would have been 20 today, and they blow out the candles in his honor, and I have ALL THE FEELINGS. Dana says that they wish for the same thing - that the car crash had never happened and that Ryan was still there. Captain Mitchell has a sad, and then says his wish is that Dana always knows that he loves her. BEST FATHER AND DAUGHTER EVER.

Then we get a series of jaws sound effects, and someone comes into the base. DUN DUN DUN. Everything is very dark and ominous. The mystery person makes their way through the base, and into the Captain's office. He breaks into the safe (and really, you leave the keys in a drawer? Without doing anything else?) and also glares at the photo of Captain Mitchell with his two children. Mystery person takes the morpher!

In the morning, Vypra is all "and now we destroy Mariner Bay!" and stuff starts blowing up. The Lightspeed team goes to investigate, and they start fighting. (She would be so much better if she just didn't speak. I'm sorry, but the actress is.... so not good.) The team threatens her, and then she's like "Fuck y'all, have the TITANIUM RANGER." His appearance is super dramatic and fucking AWESOME, even if that is still the ugliest suit design.

Evil!Ranger is all "I'm your worst nightmare" and the Captain finally realizes the morpher has been stolen. Sorry, Captain Awesome, you lost some points there for failure.

Anyway, evil!Ranger kicks their asses and its an absolutely great fight, and all American footage! I CANNOT STRESS HOW AWESOME I THINK THIS IS. Anyway, evil Ranger turns their weapons against them, and EVERYTHING HERE IS SO GREAT. Evil!Ranger has a great evil laugh. I APPROVE SO HARD.

Captain Awesome orders them to retreat, and the team does. Everyone is all "WTF."

Back on the base, everyone is so confused as to what is going on. The Captain tells them they need to get the power back and fast. Meanwhile, the villains are being all smug about how they're going to win. Either the Rangers will be destroyed, or they will run, and either way they get the city. Diabolico is so happy to get his homeland back.

Later, in the city, everyone keeps repeating that its too quiet. And then Chad notices something weird, because he is the smartest.  Evil Ranger is back, and we get a gratuitous ass shot (not that I'm complaining) and when asked who he is, the Titanium Ranger says "it doesn't matter any more." BECAUSE HE HAS ISSUES AND I LOVE HIM.

They fight again, Titanium continues to win, and SERIOUSLY, HAVE I STRESSED HOW AWESOME THIS IS? Ms. Fairweather is busy creating something, and she says she hasn't finished testing it, but sends it out anyway. New toys! The V Lancers! They look ridiculous, but whatever. With the new toy they start to win the fight. The toys do a few new things, and they shoot him and he gets knocked down, but he gets up again. And the helmet opens, and we see that he's human, and Captain Mitchell let's out a "no."

The Rangers are about to shoot him, when Captain Mitchell orders them not to fire. Everyone is like "but we can get him!" and he tells them again not to shoot. And then the captain is all "please don't shoot." The team leaves, even though Titanium is all "I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET."

The Rangers are all "WTF, Captain." And then he says "because he's my son."

Oh, Dana, what a way to find out that your brother is alive.

SERIOUSLY, HOW IS THIS SO GREAT??????

Fish: 1.5 THIS IS SO GREAT. (But seriously, that is the worst security EVER.)

Episode 348 - Rising From Ashes

LESS THAN TWO WEEKS UNTIL MEGAFORCE! Which means we should take this time to plug !

Anyway. Apparently this episode is about Joel and trains. Well, at least its not a bus. Somewhere, Sheldon is clapping his hands in excitement. Of course, when I think of trains, I think of either Shining Time Station or Wee Sing Train. (You have no idea how many times my brother made me watch that.)

ANYWAY.  I guess I should talk about the actual episode instead of finding things to link on youtube.

The scientists are working on some sort of train, and they use a floppy disc, which is adorable, and somehow that completes a project. I'm not sure how the schematics being designed automatically create whatever train it is, but... sure. Meanwhile, the villains are all "Let's bring back some dead monsters." Isn't it a little early for that?

Joel hits on Ms. Fairweather, and she tells him she's off to go look at the volcano, and he tells her to relax. She's all "You mean with you" and he claims he doesn't mean that but... I doubt it. (He does have a point though, she is working really hard!)

Ms. Fairweather's team inspects the volcano, while the villains laugh maniacally. Apparently the volcano is still heating up, and something alive is coming up from under the ground. The team is called in to deal with a volcano, and they rush out in their train zords. Unfortunately, Ms. Fairweather gets trapped inside the volcano cave when the entrance collapses.

The Rangers fight the resurrected monster, and it snaps their sword. Bansheera demands another monster be resurrected, and Vypra is all pleased that the Queen's powers are growing.

Captain Awesome is not being quite as awesome, as he's failing to get that Ms. Fairweather is in trouble, and then the Megazord loses all power. The Captain orders an evacuation of the Zords so they can go rescue Ms. Fairweather, since that's the only way to save the zords. Um. Maybe there should be some redundancy in the job, like, other people to take over in emergency? What happens if she has the flu?

The Rangers find her team, and there's a lovely unmorphed fight against the cute little mooks, and Joel heads off to rescue Ms. Fairweather by himself. Which he manages to do.

Ms. Fairweather is all "reserve power should be back online by now" and then runs off in the jeep so that she can do the science thing and save the day. They just need to buy some time. Now that the Rangers are back in the Zords, that's the cue for the monsters to come back and fight some more.

She yells for the super train program to come online, which... creates the zords out of nothing? Was there a construction project? How did this happen so quickly? Why am I trying to apply logic to this? Anyway. The Rangers breaks the megazord back into parts and goes back to the rail rescues, and then they launch themselves into the air.

So then they get a GIANT NEW ZORD. It is very large. I mean, it towers over the monsters. I...well... it's a train? They are all really impressed.  It is pretty cool that the zord towers over the monsters. I mean, they should just step on the monster.

Unfortunately, when they try and shoot the guns there's a power overload, so they can't use the guns again. Instead, they supercharge turbines. If power overload was a problem, then using something supercharged might not be a good idea. (Yep!) And somehow that makes computers explode back at base. But it works and the monster blows up, and everyone is happy... until the fire nation volcano attacks. But the train has FREEZE MISSILES, so its going to freeze the volcano. My suspension of disbelief only goes so far, show, and you are seriously pushing it.

So Joel is sulking on a couch, when Ms. Fairweather comes in. She thanks him for saving her life. Then she makes a speech about getting wrapped up in her work, and then she invites him to dinner. He's all "YES, DATE." And it turns out he has a framed picture of her.

He shows up at the galley with roses and in an ugly suit, but she's invited everyone. I actually feel bad for him there, a little. That was way harsh.

Fish: Five. NOTHING WORKS LIKE THAT.

Episode 347 - Go Volcanic

Today on Power Rangers, Dana is smart!

So Dana has created a device that will measure volcanic activity. Apparently she is a geologist. And in med school. And a ranger. She is probably really really tired. Anyway, she needs a ride but the others are out with the only vehicle in the whole base, so she decides to utilize public transit.

Apparently Mariner Bay has really good public transport? She doesn't seem to have a long wait, the bus looks clean, and it's not crowded. Of course, there is a Shady Individual there. He has a bag full of money that he flashes and Dana is appropriately suspicious.

The bad guys are setting up shop in the core of the volcano. Seems like a good place. 

It's causing seismic activity all over the place, of course, and the bus driver taking Dana up there says they have to turn around. Shady Individual pulls a gun and hijacks the bus, though. Like, a GUN. It's surprising. Anyway, Dana attacks him because she is determined to get control back and bring the other passengers to safety. Because that's what you do when you're awesome. Bus Driver doesn't handle this well and manages to go half off the bridge, sending Shady Individual out the door and dangling over a long fall onto sharp rocks. Dana attempts to save him, because that's what you do, and her dad tries desperately to get in touch with her.

The other rangers head out to help because they know something is wrong. She tries to pull the guy back into the bus while the other passengers rush to the back of the bus in an attempt to level it out with weight. Dana can't hold him much longer, so a little old lady rushes in to help, then the bus driver. It is surprisingly suspenseful for Power Rangers! I am really actually excited for this bit. They get him back in, of course, but as they do so the bus starts to go right off the bridge. Luckily the other rangers show up just in time and Joel flies in to catch them and place them safely back on the road..

We have seen so little of the bad guys, I actually forgot there was a monster causing all this distress. Then the show reminds me. Dana's seismic activity monitor is going nuts and she says the volcano is about to erupt and they have to stop it. Apparently they have to take the bus up there? But the bus driver is injured and can't drive. Dana confirms. Nobody else apparently knows how to drive, except Shady Individual, who used to be a bus driver. He puts the gun back in the bag and slides it away and then takes the wheel, driving them all to safety. And is apparently redeemed.

The rangers morph and go fight the three-headed volcano monster that has had a total of 2 minutes air time in the whole episode. It's boring.

Shady Individual talks about his time as a bus driver. He used to enjoy it. He liked having people trust him. Old Lady gives him a thumbs up. Injured Bus Driver claps him on the shoulder reassuringly. Shady Individual manages to avoid crashing into a bunch of rocks. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A THING. SHOW. WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS?

Monster I Forgot About grows and all the toys come out and I'm kind of whatever about the whole thing. 

Back at the station, Shady Individual has brought the bus safe and sound to where it belongs. Everybody congratulates the rangers and Dana says Shady Individual is a hero too. He doesn't think so but the passengers all think so. Meanwhile the cops come rolling in because they want to arrest Shady Individual. Dana speaks up for him and Old Lady hands over the bag and the cops agree to take that into account during sentencing. At least he's still arrested and he agrees he should pay for his crimes and he'll be okay after that.

5 fish. This episode was just ridiculous. I am glad we got a less monster-centric/fight-centric episode. But it was an odd episode.

Episode 346 - Up to the Challenge

Hey, it's 2013! We live! Time for recaps and hopefully an actual schedule! So today we have an episode about Chad and Kelsey as BFFs! Yay!

we open with a lovely underwater diving scene, and then Chad waking up Kelsey for breakfast. He's an early riser, apparently, and she doesn't get it. She's grumpy, because morning. Although to be fair, I would also wake up early to swim with fish. But maybe not every day. That's overkill. And also I hate waking up early.

So Chad is going to teach Kelsey something new, and seriously, most adorable. Meanwhile, the villains are plotting something I don't particularly care about, because can we get back to how adorable Chad and Kelsey are?

Anyway, the new thing that Chad is teaching Kelsey is Tai Chi at the VR Troopers temple of Ryan angst. She's bad at it, and would much rather be skateboarding. He's all "well, inner calm! You could need it!" And then she blows up at him and he rambles apologies at her and MOST ADORABLE and they mock fight.

Then some asshat shows up on a motorcycle, who recognizes them as the Power rangers. Chad introduces them, and the guy is all "and I bet you suck" and challenges them to a fight. Kelsey encourages Chad to fight, but Chad is all "I don't need to prove myself to anyone" because he has inner calm and is also great.

So, totally a downside of public identities. I wonder how many barfights the public ID rangers get into when they get attacked by drunk assholes who just want to say they fought a Power Ranger. WHO IS WRITING ME THAT FIC.

Anyway, the guy attacks him, and Chad totally schools him and knocks him down. Asshole's girlfriend is not impressed at all, and then Chad and Kelsey have to run off to help a battle.

Some nonsense happens with zords and a rescue (and seriously, are there really no police or emergency workers at ALL in this city?) and Kelsey does some stunt that has Carter give her helmet a noogie. Then a monster shows up.

Asshat is on his bike somewhere and he sees the fight. The monster goes into some building and Kelsey is now "AND I SHOOT THINGS NOW" and Chad is all "USE YOUR BRAINS, KELSEY" and then the building explodes. Oops.

Kelsey is injured and is all "oh, is that what you meant by not getting over excited?" and then she passes out dramatically in Chad's arms. Meanwhile, asshole guy spies on the monsters and then he's all "I want to learn how to destroy the Blue Ranger from you" and then Vypra does some spell and he calls her MISTRESS and has glowy eyes and THIS IS GREAT. (He so has a crush on Chad.)

Kelsey is still unconscious and Chad is blaming himself. Joel points out that nobody can stop Kelsey. Because Kelsey.

Asshole guy (Brian, apparently) challenges Chad to a fight while the other three Rangers go to fight the monster.

Vypra watches Brian train, while Chad shows up and is like "I'm going to get you out of here" and Brian attacks Chad. We get some GREAT unmorphed fighting. (This is why you should hire martial artists, show. Didn't Chad train Jacob from Twilight or something?)

Meanwhile, Ms. Fairweather catches Kelsey trying to go help. She knows better than to try and stop Kelsey, and instead gives her a new toy. Kelsey hugs her and calls her Ms. F. (AND I SHIP THEM NOW) and Ms. Fairweather starts to tell Kelsey to be careful, and instead switches to "try and bring it back in one piece." BECAUSE SHE KNOWS KELSEY SO WELL.

Kelsey brings the new toy to rescue the other Rangers (who are tied up with tentacle things)  and we go back to the Chad vs Brian fight. WHICH IS GREAT. Vypra is all disappointed that Brian sucks. Chad extends his hand to Brian to get him away, but Chad is grabbed by Batlings instead. Brian suddenly has a crisis of conscience about fighting Chad (and seriously, Vypra, why not just kill Chad yourself?) and attacks the Batlings instead.

Chad and Brian become friends and Chad tells him he doesn't have to prove himself to anyone, and then Chad goes to show up to fight the monster. Monster blows up and... no zord fight? REALLY? YAY.

Later, Chad and Kelsey are doing tai chi again, and Brian is teaching little kids martial arts. Kelsey is impressed. Now Kelsey is all "I have to teach YOU something now" and then Chad is confronted by a hot girl (who hits a tennis ball at them). Kelsey decides she will teach Chad to talk to girls. Honey, I'm not so sure he's interested. STILL. ADORABLE.

Fish: 2!

Episode 345 - Cyborg Rangers

Welcome back, dear readers! We've had a (mostly) refreshing break and are excited to get back to regular recapping!

We start right off with an attack. Usually that doesn't bode well for an episode, but considering this deals with Cyborgs (I'm going off the title here), I'm going to remain hopeful.

So the rangers fight the most adorable little bad guys ever (TINY WINGS OMG I LOVE THESE GUYS) and a big spikey monster thing. It's like a hedgehog on crack. The Rangers lie defeated, injured and in pain, when suddenly a NEW set of Rangers walks up and starts fighting. Their suits are a little different and there are pneumatic noises on the soundtrack every time they move.

The human rangers walk up to their colour counterparts and try to introduce themselves, but get ignored. A snivly little mostly bald man steps out of a car and says his rangers are cyborg rangers. He's snooty and I don't like him. Especially since he's WRONG. These are not cyborgs. Cyborgs contain both biological and artificial parts, usually robotic but sometimes not. These beings are NOT biological at all. They are strictly mechanical/robotic. Therefore they are ROBOT Rangers, not cyborg Rangers.

Captain Awesome Mitchell is wondering who made them when General McKnight says he commissioned them as a secret to replace the "kids". The "kids" don't take too kindly to that idea and I can't really blame them. They are asked to hand over their morphers and Chad initially resists, because he is awesome, but he relents his silent protest. General McWrong is very sure of himself.

At the Bad Guy ship, the bad guys can't quiet the sad little alien baby who needs his mother. I still kind of like this kid.

Ms. Fairweather is impressed with the cyborgs ROBOTS, but she is certain they will fail because they lack Heart. Somewhere, Ma-Ti is pumping his fists in triumph.

And she's right, of course. They take on their next fight and initially do well, but we all know how this will turn out.

I'm not entirely sure why snivly guy needs to stand so close to the fight. Surely if he has the technology to build such impressive robots, they would have the technology to use long range networking or radio control. They really should have had a gamer work on this script...

The robots go up in an epic explosion and Chad, Carter, and Dana want to go help. Because that's what heroes DO! Joel (I hate him) says they shouldn't go because it isn't their job anymore. I want to smack him. Meanwhile, the robot rangers get up and turn on their snivly creator. Even the self destruct button won't work. They are intent on destruction. Luckily the rangers didn't listen to Joel because they show up just in time to save snivly doctor guy. And Captain Awesome Mitchell shows up to throw them their morphers.

The robots assure them resistance is futile but they refuse to listen and kick ass. Meanwhile, the bad guys do nothing to attack the city or the rangers in their distracted state, proving they are the worst at being bad guys. No, they wait until all the robot rangers have been defeated and THEN they go attack the rangers. Who win because they have the most toys. (and okay, I do sort of love that the red zord attaches itself by grabbing hold and just kind of sitting on top, almost like he's pulling on a pair of trousers)

Back at the base, General McWrong apologizes for underestimating them and their HEART. He says Captain Mitchell made five wise choices (daawwwww)

2.5 fish. Aside from the constant calling them cyborgs when they CLEARLY ARE NOT, this wasn't too bad.