Episode 342 - Riding the Edge

Well, I was super bitter today because I woke up to find out that Power Rangers Samurai isn't on for some unknown reason that may have to do with Nick being the worst at promotion EVER.

Instead, I am recapping Kelsey/Nancy, which makes me happy.

Nancy the hot astronaut is out jogging with her dog when she stops to tie her shoe and drops the leash, making her the WORST DOG OWNER EVER. The dog runs into the middle of the street and then Kelsey does a dramatic flying leap on roller blades and gets the dog, although she then shows off and has to dive under a moving truck because of her showing off. Nancy and Kelsey flirt a lot, and Kelsey tells us that crazy is her middle name, and Nancy is VERY SAD when Kelsey has to go, because she has SUCH A CRUSH. (Have I mentioned that I ship them a LOT? Because seriously, girlfriends.)

Anyway, that was the most ridiculous puppy rescue scene I've ever watched, with the possible exception of Independence Day.

Back at Castle Greyskull, Diabolico is annoyed that the Rangers exist, and Vypra continues her bad acting. Jinxer is told to create a monster that will blow everyone away, and we meet Whirlin.

Later, NASADA is busy being pissed that Mariner Bay stole their shuttle design. Or did they open up a branch there? Watching TV Kelsey is SUPER EXCITED to see that her potential girlfriend is a shuttle pilot, because she's apparently been talking about Nancy nonstop since the rescue. And apparently the shuttle is only going in for four hours? FOUR HOURS?

While this is going on, the monster is a tornado going through the city, and tornadoes freak me out (I ended up getting a new roof back in 2008. SERIOUSLY, THEY ARE THE WORST.)

Diabolico introduces himself to the Rangers and monologues at them and then the tornado shows up again. Hey, could it take them to Oz? Rangers in Oz would be cool. Kelsey could flirt with Ozma!

Carter continues his shooting solves everything plans, and shoots the tornado, which brings the monster down to Earth.  The batlings (I keep wanting to call them batwings) show up, and we get a fight scene.

Meanwhile, Nancy is apparently done in space, and is heading back to Mariner Bay. Apparently they didn't check the weather to see that there's a tornado monster? Mission control fails forever. (Maybe NANCY could go to Oz! And then Kelsey has to go rescue her! Can someone write me that?)

... Also, space shuttles don't work like airplanes. QR is allcapsing that at me, so it should go in the recap.

They shoot the monster and it looks like everything should be fine, but then they find out that the shuttle is in danger. Kelsey is super distressed that her girlfriend is in danger of crashing, and instead of telling everyone what the plan is, she just tells them that they'll think she's crazy and calls the zords. We get a lot of stock footage of the train showing up, and everyone agrees that Kelsey should call the shots for this mission. Because her girlfriend is in danger.

Joel attaches some cable magnets which lets the shuttle level off, and then they clear the freeway by having everyone drive into Dana's car (really? REALLY? What is the size of that?) and then Nancy realizes that Kelsey is the yellow ranger and is SUPER HAPPY and agrees to try and land on her back. It's rough going at first, but they did it.

Because it wouldn't be power rangers without the monster growing, Whirlin grows and attacks the city. Good thing they already have the Zords out, right? So there's a fight. The Rangers win. Nancy is very impressed.

Kelsey takes off her helmet to see Nancy, and the two of them flail at each other  and Nancy winks, because she totally just got a date with Nancy. SERIOUSLY I SHIP THEM SO MUCH.

Fish: 3. It would have been more because of ALL the science fail, but we were too distracted by how adorable Kelsey and Nancy are to pay attention.

Fic we want: Rangers in Oz! ALL THE KELSEY/NANCY EVER. MOST ADORABLE.

Episode 341 - Trial By Fire

Today on Power Rangers, we get our Red Learns to be a Leader episode. We start out with Kelsey taking everybody rock climbing. They mock each other and tell funny stories about stupid things they did when they were kids. Fireman Sam Carter says he didn't always want to be a firefighter and then starts to tell a story. It's apparently sad, because he stops before he really gets anywhere. They get called to the training field and have to be all military and saluting and stuff. So much for rock climbing, I guess. There is a big training montage that I just can't hate, even though it makes no sense for what these people were like as civilians. Like, seriously, vaulting so artfully over that wall? Not gonna happen. I do love that they really have to train hard though. Right down to rescuing civilians and medical care on babies. CPR is important to know, even for a Power Ranger! And their weapons training involves lots of paintball, which is always great. Carter apparently was the fastest but got the lowest score because he didn't use his brain, he just shot at the targets. I like this! He has to be able to see the safest way out of any situation and just shooting all the bad guys isn't always it. I can see the argument that Captain Mitchell should have told him why he basically failed. But honestly, given the fact that Carter is basically an adult, and not a cocky badass, frankly I think that wouldn't be giving him enough credit. Nor would it have been a lesson that would have really stuck with him. He needs to find the answer himself, with minimal guidance. He has to work through the steps on his own before he can figure out what he did wrong and what he'll need to do better next time. On the Bad Guy ship, baby creature is upset by... something the monsters are talking about? I don't get it. They decide to destroy things from the ground up and cause what appears to be an earthquake, except of course Lightspeed Rescue knows better. They confront Vypra who has her goons hammering... things?... into the ground in a warehouse. I do not see the point. Anyway, Vypra can't act to save her life so this scene just hurts. Like, wow. She's not just bland, she's BAD. Carter has to jump in to save the people shopping nearby from the bad acting. He puts himself between them and her, but doesn't take into consideration that this warehouse is full of explosive chemicals. Vypra does, and manages to set everything on fire. Carter is ordered to put the fire out first, but he wants to rescue the people from the collapsing ceiling. He does as he's told and saves things from exploding, but does not manage to save a Tiny Child from the falling concrete. Joel rushes in to take the kid to a hospital. Which was actually a bad idea. He should have immobilized the boy's spine and waited for the ambulance. You don't move people with head injuries. Carter rushes back to base and yells at the Captain. He insists he was wrong to listen and should have rescued them. It takes everything Captain Mitchell has to not point out all the explosive chemicals that would have killed everybody instead of just causing one little boy to get hurt. Carter will have to learn this for himself. He goes to visit the little boy in the hospital and apologizes. He tells him the story he started to tell before. He was trapped in a fire (school? apartment? I can't tell). The fireman comes in to rescue him, tries to get him out, and then stops a beam from falling on them. The fireman insists Carter runs away, out of the fire, and into the arms of another fireman. He knows he'll never be that good, but he wants to. He wants to be that strong. It's only then he goes back to the training room where he shot all the paintballs. It's only then he sees the explosive containers and realizes he shot one. It's only then he runs back to the warehouse and sees the containers of gasoline. Then he realizes what he could have done. Captain Mitchell gives a poor inspirational speech about being a leader. This guys is AMAZING. He knows how to teach the important lessons. Carter wouldn't have really learned it if he hadn't been able to puzzle it out for himself. He has to be able to apply that to every situation, not just the obvious one. I am seriously impressed. There is another fight, Carter questions his use as a leader, but leads anyway. It's kind of boring. Carter apparently really likes to shoot stuff. This seems to be his solution to everything. This is probably why it was so important he learn that shooting things is not always the best solution. They win. Duh. Carter goes back to visit the little boy. He's not in his bed and Carter is all sad thinking something really bad happened. But the little boy was just up and about having a walk and he stops Carter. Says thank you and tells him he's okay because of Carter. Then he says he wants to grow up to be just like Carter. My little heart melts. And apparently so does Carter's. 2 fish. Really not bad. I also approve of Captain Mitchell's teaching methods.

Episode 340 - Lightspeed Teamwork

Hey, we live! And we're recapping! Season 8! I never thought we'd make it here. Oh, and Alpha's Magical Fic Exchange is still open for signups! You should sign up! We have awesome prompts so far!

Right. So I get a Joel episode. Um.... it's entirely possible that he's in my top three least favorite Rangers list? (For the record, the other two are Sky and Dax.) And I know that his whole arc is how he learns to be less of a dick and less of a patronizing jackass, but I hate him. So I'm not particularly looking forward to this episode.

We start off in the demons Castle Greyskull, with Diabolico planning on destroying the Lightspeed base. Turns out that since the base is underwater, they can't do anything about it, because water weakens them. So Diabolico demands a monster.

Back on the base, Joel catches sight of a woman, and is like "hoooooooot." He knocks her over and spills all the things.

Themesong! I love this themesong! It's catchy and fun and pretty awesome. You know what else is pretty awesome? The costume design. I seriously love it. I also have nothing else to say about it, because both are fun.

Anyway, the woman puts her glasses back on. He tries to impress her, and is all being a GIANT ASS in his attempt to flirt. He shows off his morpher, and is trying to use his status to impress her, and is basically a giant ass.

So, Captain Mitchell (who is AWESOME) is giving them a tour of the base.  And oh, turns out that the woman (Ms. Fairweather, who is probably ABD) is the genius behind all the tech. BECAUSE SHE IS GREAT. Seriously, I think she's my favorite.

Their zords are trains. Which.... I agree with Kelsey. Trains?

Meanwhile, Joel has ditched the training so he can go buy flowers for Ms. Fairweather. The city is being attacked by a lava monster, and the Rangers aren't sure if they're ready for this. Ms. Fairweather explains that they're programmed to assist him.

Joel gets yelled at for being late, and if he's this much trouble and this much of an ass, why did they choose him? (He even tries to convince Captain Mitchell that he was on a top secret mission that even the captain didn't know about.) And like, I like cocky assholes? I HATE JOEL.

Anyway, the trains launch, and it is a pretty cool sequence, even though I keep thinking about Shining Time Station. I'm not really sure that bridges can move like that? And the fact that there's a volcano in Mariner Bay MIGHT be a longterm problem.

From the GIANT train they were in, they split off into smaller zords (.... so what was the point of the train?)  and Carter picks up that there are people trapped in a building. So all the Zords go to stop them. Joel is all "I can do this alone" but Ms. Fairweather is all "NOPE." Joel is sulky about it, but agrees anyway. Instead they need to combine into part of the Megazord, and this sequence isn't nearly entertaining enough for the amount of time they spend on it. Blah blah blah, rescue mission for three people in the elevator. Isn't there a monster running lose in the city? JUST SAYING.

I mean, the city clearly has regular fire departments and all that. They're supposed to be FIGHTING THE MONSTER. THAT IS THEIR PURPOSE. The fire department can handle this! They CAN'T handle the monster. DO YOUR JOB AND FIGHT THE MONSTER, RANGERS. LET THE CIVILIAN FORCES DO THEIR JOB.

Instead, they get a new toy. (This early in the season?) This allows Carter to open the busted elevator where Kelsey, Dana and civilians are stuck. Bah.

... And then Dana and Kelsey have to go take the civilians to safety while the guys fight the monster. UM. Yeah.

Joel once again attempts to disobey the order because he has a better idea, and Ms. Fairweather ends up screaming at him to obey the order. And her plan works because she is smart. And he is an ass who didn't bother going to the briefing.

Then they combine into the Megazord, and there is way too much zord fighting in this episode. I so don't care. It is too early in the season for me to be all "I don't care!" But seriously, 80% of this episode has been Zords, and the other 20% has been Joel being an ass.

So the Megazord punches things and they throw the monster into the volcano which blows him up? WHATEVER.

Back on the base, Carter is all stressing the importance of teamwork, which Joel agrees to, until he sees Ms. Fairweather, and then he runs off to hit on her some more. He wonders if she's allowed to be in here, because he's a patronizing jackass. Then he manages to insult her and computer geeks in general and she yells at him that next time she'll just let him explode. YOU DO THAT, MS. FAIRWEATHER. And then the rest of the team mocks him, which I'm okay with.

Fish: 3. It would have been 5 because of how Joel is an ass, but QR says we can't rate like that. So instead all the fish are from seriously, monster right there! Let the civilians do their jobs and FIGHT THE MONSTER.

Episode 339 - Operation Lightspeed

Yay new season! I think I've seen one or two episodes of this season? I don't remember anything about it though, so maybe I didn't. I might just have absorbed it via osmosis. So I'm going into this knowing NOTHING. I can tell you this. I may not exactly like the theme song, but I dig the opening because it shows everybody being a badass OUTSIDE of being rangers. So we start off a brand new season in the desert. There are a bunch of stereotypes walking along with a camel. They find some ruins. These ruins do some Suspicious Ancient Magic-y Things. This bothers me and is not a good way to start out a brand new season. Our Walking Stereotypes end up in some tomb where they are raiding it for treasure. They open a chest and it starts shaking. One of them wants to run in terror. The other convinces them to stay and take what they can. The chest emits a blue light that knocks them out, then spirits fly around and basically kill them. Somehow the flying spirits make it from Stereotypical Middle Eastern Desert to Generic American Oceanside City. In what appears to be a secret military organization, a young woman reports that "they have escaped" and suddenly Guy In Charge, Captain Mitchell, decides to "bring them in". He is apparently her father. We meet Joel first. He is left-handed! Yay lefties! He is apparently a cowboy stunt pilot. Secret Military Men in Black bring him in. Then we meet a rock climber, who I am informed is called Kelsey. She is wearing bright yellow pants. Gee, I wonder what colour she'll be. She is pretty badass. Men in Black are waiting for her at the top and tell her she's going with them. She cops an attitude and will have none of it. Next we meet Chad. He is a whale trainer! He is already my favourite. Because I have a thing for whale trainers. He's also adorable. We'll see if he has a personality or not. Last but not least we meet Fireman Carter. He rushes into a burning building, grabs a little girl, and sees one of those spirit things. It shoots fire at them. He manages to dive out of a window with the kid, saving her life. He is recruited by the young woman from before, with her own Men in Black guard. Clearly he will be the Red Ranger. Also, y'know, fireman. He should totally be Captain America. So they're all shoved in a little helicopter and flown over the ocean to a submarine. I kept expecting the soundtrack to Jurassic Park to start playing. Then they go to an underwater colony where the secret military organization is based. It's almost as cool as Seaquest. But not nearly as cool as the Helicarrier. Joel accuses Captain Mitchell of kidnapping him and is irritating. He kind of grates on my nerves here. I hope he gets better. I don't dig the cowboy thing, but I like greens so... maybe. We'll see. Captain Mitchell convinces them all to sit down and tells them about how 5,000 years ago the world was inhabited by demons, capture, entombed, and buried. They have prepared for the escape of the demons by creating ranger powers and sitting on them for awhile. They hand picked these kids to combat the demons. Joel thinks it's crazy and goes to leave again. Carter speaks up that he saw something. Joel sits back down. There is a report of the city being attacked and suddenly everybody is all "Yeah, okay, I'll be a Lightspeed Power Ranger". I kind of dig that they all had a choice to volunteer for this thing? Then Captain Mitchell's daughter gets the pink morpher. He's apparently been training her for this HER WHOLE LIFE. And that kind of bothers me a little? Because, well, what if she didn't want it? Did he allow her to cultivate her own interests or just push her to Super Secret Military Stuff? Poor kid. She was groomed, not reared. They take their morphers and leave the underwater base in a HUMMER. They had to be flown in, but they can just leave in a Hummer? What was the point of the dramatic helicopter ride? Whatever, there are people being attacked by black spandex wearing goons wearing TINY ADORABLE BAT WINGS. I think I like these guys. I also like that all the rangers TOTALLY FAIL AT FIGHTING. Because they aren't fighters. They're just strong personalities. So they morph and it's kind of... well different I guess. Boring, but different. Yellow does not have a skirt on her morphed suit, but pink does. Was yellow male in Sentai? I know nothing. There is a fight. It is boring. They win, though, and that's nice. They demorph in front of a bunch of people. So I'm guessing this is NOT a secret identity thing? Captain Mitchell kind of kills their buzz because he warns them there are more monsters to come and they'll be fighting for a long time. He's pretty bad at the whole "inspirational" thing. Everybody awkwardly salutes, except his daughter, because I get the feeling she's been saluting him her whole entire life. I have a lot of questions about this episode, but I will let them mostly slide because it's first episode of a brand new season. Like, how did they know about the demons? What made them decide to create the morphers when they did? If this was 5,000 years ago, this was post Zordon. So what was he doing? Also, who the hell opens a cursed chest? And keeps opening it when it does weird crazy things that chests should not be able to do? Also, if Dana has been trained for this for the past 18 YEARS, why is she not red? Carter has no training whatsoever to be a Ranger. Dana was freaking GROOMED FOR THE JOB. She should be red. 2 fish. Not bad for an opener.