Episode 329 - Beware the Mutiny

Previously on Lost Galaxy - FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH.

Or, in other words, the writers remembered the title of the season and were like "SHIT, we need to actually have the title be relevant to what's going on. Um. Crap."

So somehow they're in some lost galaxy, which doesn't actually make any sense, because how do you LOSE AN ENTIRE GALAXY especially when a) people can get in with a book and b) people are already living there. What the hell, writers. Just send Daniel Jackson and SG-1 to investigate, okay?

Trakeena is all "they've entered the lost galaxy" which apparently a) everyone knows about and b) is the most mysterious place. Trakeena doesn't want to enter the galaxy, and I've decided that the galaxy is secretly inside the M'Kraan Crystal, mostly because I feel like linking to X-Men stuff.

Apparently there are no stars to navigate by or something, and I'm pretty sure this means that there are no FAMILIAR stars to navigate by, because we can clearly see stars. Also, apparently everyone can breathe in space or whatever. The commander and Mike get a vision of some old man warning them never to look back, except it seems Mike and the Commander never left the ship, and the fish are strong with this one. Even the clocks are wrong, and it seems like time is moving backwards. I'm sure that the MMPR kids can sympathize, but at least it doesn't seem like we're getting baby!Galaxy Rangers, although I would be totally in favor of that.

Somewhere else, we meet Captain Mutiny and his ship of Pirates. I approve of Space Pirates, and I'm already shipping him with Divatox on general principle. For some reason they're referring to their own galaxy as lost, but they live there and clearly know where they are, so I don't know why they're calling it that. I'll give Mutiny credit, his ship is pretty damn cool. And we get a bunch of pirate jokes.

The Commander and the executive board of the ship are talking about how to get out of there, when Mike is all "um, there's a castle on a dinosaur coming towards us" which may be the greatest sentence ever said in the history of this show. Seriously, that is why I watch Power Rangers, because we get castles on the backs of Dinosaurs. Anyway, the pirates are rowing in space and apparently they can breathe in space, The Starship Trooper armor is out in full force, which is nice.

Mutiny is all "I come in peace" which is clearly bullshit, but he gives them a gift of sparkling coins. Stanton tells everyone to be at ease, because he's a moron.

Seriously, why are they still calling it the Lost Galaxy. THEY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. Mutiny offers a way to send them home, but they have to go to his planet. BECAUSE IT IS CLEARLY A TRAP, but Stanton is all "we have no other choice" so he sends Mike to go retrieve the machine.

Karone is all "everyone is an idiot, this is too easy" because she is the greatest. The Rangers go to spy as Mike picks up the package, and they decide to investigate. And we find out that Mutiny keeps slaves. You guys, canon slavery. I will totally take all the bad and wrong fic where the Rangers are slaves. They figure out that whatever is in the box will make Terra Venture slaves. However, they get spotted by another slave, who begs them for help, giving away their position.

Cue monster attack. Fight, Zords, etc. The amount that I don't care can't be expressed in words. Could we instead talk about the AU where the Rangers get captured as slaves? WAY more interesting and if anyone wants to write a bad and wrong fic that would be great.

Oh, and Deviot shows up and drains the energy from the nearly defeated monster or whatever.

On Terra Venture, they open the box that was given to them by Mutiny even though they know NOTHING ABOUT IT, because they are idiots and even as the Rangers are running and yelling them not to open it, it is too late and a GIANT UGLY MONSTER that somehow fit in a box that is clearly smaller then him shows up and burrowed underground. WORST SECURITY EVER.

I guess that's supposed to be a cliffhanger or something. Whatever.

Fish: FIVE. LOGIC DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT.

Episode 328 - Enter the Lost Galaxy

Oh hey! The show FINALLY remembered it's title! We start off with some guys wearing glasses, clearly meant to be scientist/geeks, analyzing a bit of the book. They translate some text and start chanting, but it sparks some blue energy that wipes out ALL power in the entire colony. ALL OF IT. You'd think once they realized they were causing the pretty blue sparks with the chanting, they'd STOP SAYING IT. But no, they had to cut off power instead. Mike says they're replacing transformers as fast as they possibly can and OH SHOW! OH SHOW! Space travel does NOT work like that. At one of the sites of the transformer, an ancient dude wakes up from a cave. He morphs into one of the power workers and manages to pull a yellow hard hat out of his ass (not literally, but it came out of NOWHERE and he just nonchalantly puts it on his head). The Head Honchos are discussing Plans. Ancient Shapeshifter Guy is wandering around and nobody questions why he's poking in the science area and not out fixing transformers (oh show... transformers... really?). He goes to take the book, but Kai and the Space Colony Police stop him. Worst. Security. EVER. Seriously. They take him to the Head Honchos instead of straight to a holding cell and I have NO IDEA why. Because they are clearly vying for that golden Worst Security award, I guess. They eventually take him to a holding cell and he tells Kai that he needs help to recover the book, because it doesn't belong. Kai is all "Uh, dude? Really?" and the guys is all "Cause you're the blue ranger, duh". Apparently the guards standing RIGHT THERE didn't hear. Whatever. Clearly they had their training in Angel Grove. Kai learns it is his destiny to help return the Galaxy Book to where it belongs and he takes that information to the other rangers. They think it's a Trakeena plot. Kai believes him. Especially when he takes him breakfast and finds him sweating thick blue... something. Question. Why is NOBODY wondering where this guy came from? How did this ancient guy get awoken from a long hibernation ON A NEWLY BUILT SPACE COLONY????? Clearly I am throwing too much logic into this. Kai leaves with the guy in R.A.L.F.. The guy gives him some protection trinket things and runs away. Kai STEALS THE FREAKING BOOK AND NOBODY NOTICES. This really is the worst security ever. Geez. And of course, Kai gets attacked. Because Deviot knows everything? Or something. But it's okay! Because Ancient Guy gives Deviot an intense smack down. Except he really can't live long outside of his galaxy/book/wherever the heck he came from, and dies in Kai's arms. The job of guarding the book has now passed to Kai. And he fails in his first two seconds, because Deviot has the book and starts calling forth all manner of dark things. His plan is to lose the galaxy? Except there is already a lost galaxy so... is this a second galaxy he wants to lose? Can you really lose two galaxies? Or is he trying to make sure the first lost galaxy stays lost? And how does one even go about losing a galaxy in the first place? It's not like your car keys or spare change or that darned coupon that you know is about to expire and you want to use but can't remember where you put it. It's a freaking GALAXY. And can it really be lost if there is both a book giving directions to said galaxy (and people know where this book is) AND there are people living in this galaxy? I mean, clearly it's not lost to THEM. They know right where they are. Anyway Deviot is now really powerful and strong and looks kind of creepy and Predator like. There is a boring fight where the rangers basically get their asses handed to them, even with all the shiny toys. And I really don't care about the fight, okay? They do manage to take him out in the end, but the book is going all kinds of crazy with the wind and the blue lightning and it's kind of weird. When it all dies down, the book is intact, but there are black scorch marks all over the ground. Kai picks it up and starts to read it but had to be pulled away by Leo. He hears voices. They start to take the book back, when they are suddenly surrounded by space and galaxies they don't know and nobody knows what's going on. So Kai recites a poem. Because he knows where they are, now that he has all that super book knowledge. They're in the lost galaxy. Oh hey look! The lost galaxy! Guess it isn't lost anymore! Or is it? Can they still call it lost if they are there? Existential questions of life, brought to you by Power Rangers. 5 fish. OMG SO MANY FISH. How did the guy get on Terra Venture? How did the guards not hear that Kai is the blue ranger? How did nobody see Kai steal the book? Why continue chanting when it's clearly blowing out your power? WHY DOES A SPACESHIP RUN ON TRANSFORMERS? THE FISH, YOU GUYS, I COULD NOT SEE MOST OF THIS EPISODE BECAUSE THE FISH JUST KEPT GETTING IN THE WAY.