Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Episode 282 - Carlos on Call

Psycho Rangers! Epic storyline is epic, yes?

So, previously: Astronema is HBIC with the best plans ever, the Psycho Rangers are terrifying and awesome and kicked the Rangers' butts, and palm pilots are the height of technology or something.

We start off at the Surf Spot, where Carlos and his very nice arms are playing video games. A tiny child watches him. Her mom says hi to Carlos, and apparently she was one of Carlos's teacher. Carlos hangs out with the tiny child while the mom goes to get soda, and she (Silvy) totally creams him in videogames.

Carlos's communicator goes off, and he can't find a place to answer it, so for SOME INSANE REASON he goes into a photobooth and morphs THERE and even though there was NO MONEY IN THE BOOTH, it takes a picture anyway.

SO MANY POINTS for a Ranger finally having a hard time finding a place to morph. SO MANY POINTS.

So apparently the camera went off EXACTLY while Carlos was morphing, and Silvy takes the photos. DUN DUN DUN.

The Rangers battle some monster, and then Andros shoots it and it runs away. Astronema of Borg watches the battle and it turns out that the monster was busy just scanning the Rangers for weaknesses. Astronema lectures the Psychos for underestimating the Rangers strength, but Psycho Yellow is all "nope, you underestimate us."

Carlos gets email from someone saying they know he's the Black Ranger. He assumes its from the Psycho, which is a pretty good guess. Silvy shows up there and is all adorably "What's up? You're slow. I totally know who you are." Then she shows him the picture and Carlos is all FML.

She makes him buy her a ton of shit, and I want her to grow up to be a Power Ranger SO BADLY. She also makes him play a ton of stuff with her. Then she hands him a pager and is all "You'll do what I tell you" and threatens to tell everyone in the park.

Up on the Megaship, everyone is all "you need to put your foot down" but... she has blackmail material. So he goes with her to the carnival. It's a good thing Carlos is honorable and doesn't just STEAL THE PHOTOS BACK. If this took place a few years later, nobody would ever believe her due to photoshop.

She tells him she wants a moon rock, which SHOULDN'T BE THAT HARD FOR YOU, CARLOS, but instead he throws a complete hissy fit. I'm definitely not saying blackmail is right, but this is within your power and it would make her stop and she's 10.

Ashley tells Carlos that there's something he should know, and takes him to see some doctor, who tells them all about Silvy's family, where apparently she had an older brother who DIED, and they ACTUALLY SAY DIED ON POWER RANGERS. WHAT. A CHILD. TWELVE YEARS OLD. THEY SAY A CHILD DIED. Apparently Silvy and her brother wanted to be astronauts, and they were going to get a moon rock. Carlos flips out and immediately goes to get a moon rock, and Silvy pages them because a monster has shown up.

YOU GUYS, THIS SHOW USED DIED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW. POWER RANGERS, FOR REAL. Also, Silvy is the smartest, and I still want her to be a Power Ranger.

The Rangers all show up and fight the monster and it grows so they shoot it some more. That's pretty great. Then they get the other Zords to come fight and blow up the monster.

Astronema is annoyed because the Psychos are going after the Rangers, and she doesn't want them to destroy the Rangers until SHE wants them to. But Psycho Red grabs Silvy and there's a pretty great fight scene of Rangers vs Psycho Red. (Silvy watches from behind the tree, and is pretty great). Psycho Red is about to kill Andros, but Psycho Black shows up to attack Psycho Red because he wants to be the leader. Good thing too.

Astronema is pissed at the Psychos for letting their dick swinging contest get in the way of her plan. Her new plan is to have them attack one Ranger at a time, with pink going first.

Carlos walks Silvy home, and she gives him the photos back. She apologies, and is a very smart child. They agree to be friends (and one day she asks him for advice when she's the black ranger) and he gives her a moon rock. THEN he gives her a ride in space. CUTEST EVER.

HOW DOES SHE BREATHE IN SPACE, WHAT.

Silvy says she doesn't want to be an astronaut anymore, she wants to be a Power Ranger. I APPROVE, TINY CHILD.

Fish: 3. So seriously, how does she breathe in space? And why did the photobooth go off with no money in it?

Fic we want: can we get an entire episode of Carlos just holding babies and hugging tiny children or something?

Episode 281 - Rangers Gone Psycho

Today on Power Rangers,

So we start off with a battle. There is screaming. And a weird owl monster thing. It's... not pretty. Nor is it exciting. Nor does it bode well for this episode. They win, of course.

Back on the ship, Andros has a sad. He can't stop staring at his locket. Because he misses his sister. Again. He flash backs to talking to her about missing her, and getting to know her, and how they have all the time in the world. Except they don't because she's evil again. Poor Andros. Ashley manages to talk him into taking a break back on Earth. Adelle gives them heaps of food, but Carlos is awesome and remembers to say "thank you".

They overhear a girl playing with her little electronic organizer. It sounds just like the communicators and all I could think was how super awesome it was at the time, and how super clunky and huge it looks compared to today's tech. Then they get distracted by a news report. There was an attack at a building and the news reporter sees the rangers, and asks them what happened. Except it's not the rangers! They attack the reporter.

The real rangers end up on the scene and there is an epic battle of ranger vs ranger. This is super awesome! The Psycho Rangers are GOOD. It is one amazing battle. They end up wearing really cool armour before introducing themselves. Faster, stronger, BETTER. And EVIL. It's super intense.

Zhane does not have a psycho ranger equivalent, though, and rushes in just in time to save them. The Psycho Rangers vanish, but not before taking some energy from the real rangers. Astronema is sure this is the only way to beat the real rangers. This is actually a really good plan of hers.

The real rangers can't figure out what's going on. They don't know who the psycho rangers are, where they came from, how to find them. They don't know how to beat them. And it's really clearly bothering them.

The Psycho Rangers are taken in by the sound of the little address storage device. They keep attacking humans to no avail. The real rangers can't figure out why random people are being attacked. Luckily Zhane is still on Earth. Or not so luckily, because the Psycho Rangers find him and capture him. Oh Zhane, you're so pretty when you're tied up.

They've taken him to the old library (apparently there is a new one?) and it's a total disaster. Seriously. Wouldn't they have moved all that stuff to the new library? Anyway, Zhane is still tied up and is very pretty. The real rangers can't get through a force field, though, and aren't allowed to morph. So Andros comes up with a plan, because he has to get his boyfriend back. He uses a remote controlled car to distract them and they fall for it (running like I don't even know what... who the heck pulls their knees up to their chest while running?). The rangers get in and rush to Zhane. Who is delightfully tied up! There should be more Zhane and bondage in this show.

There is a big battle between the rangers and the psycho rangers, because of course they knew the rangers were there. They're evil, not stupid! Though I can see how it would be easy to make that mistake in this show...

The battle is once again epic but the psycho's get called back before they can completely destroy the rangers. But not before there is MAJOR damage to the rangers. Zhane escapes just in time to SEE THEM FALL. Like, hardcore fall. So he rushes to Andros (boyfriends!) and helps them back to the ship.

Astronema has the BEST PLAN EVER. She is going to use the psycho rangers to drain the power from Dark Spectre while they simultaneously destroy the power rangers. This will leave her free to be in charge of everything. SHE IS FREAKING BRILLIANT. I LOVE HER SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Episode 280 - Dark Specter's Revenge - Part 2

WE LIVE. I handed in my thesis, so now we will have the time of GREAT PANIC while I wait on results.

So we continue with the Megazords trying to push an asteroid out of the way while people on Earth panic. Just as it's entering Earth's atmosphere Zhane shows up with another Zord and somehow that is enough to get it out of the atmosphere without the asteroid breaking up at all (wtf is this thing made of, anyway?) and they push it back into space and whatever, I am not going to argue with the science, but I wonder what the Bad Astronomer would have to say about that.

Zhane gets all the hugs, and he tells them that the rebels built the ship. The Rangers fill Zhane in on the whole Astronema = Karone thing, and Zhane is all "I knew there was something good about her!" and offers to go with Andros to find her, saying he has an interest in Karone as well. You can clearly see the "oh shit, I've got a thing for my boyfriend's sister" on Zhane's face, and also Andros is concerned when Zhane says he has an interest.

Zhane and Andros follow a solitary tie fighter to a space station, and Andros and Zhane continue the "you went on a date with my sister!" "JUST ONE DATE?" thing and AHAHAH awesome, but boys, this is SO NOT THE TIME to figure out your poly relationships.

So the boys steal some Quantrons uniforms, and they're a little short to be storm troopers, and really, show, you're making this too easy.

They find Astronema and take off the helmet, only to find that she's been all Borgified, and she calls Ecliptor to attack them. There's a pretty great fight, and there's no way they're going to win and escape with Astronema, so they end up retreating, leaving her in her brainwashed and Borgified state.

This is pretty epic, seriously.

They end up stealing some velocifighters to escape, and they make it back to the Megaship, and Andros has the biggest sad.

Meanwhile, Bulk, Skull and the Professor had some hijinks where they thought they made it to another planet, but nope, still on Earth. Oh, and then they get attacked by a monster. Luckily, there are Power Rangers to the rescue. Including Zhane in his new toy.

Hey, points for a very bondagey fight.

And then the Rangers give Bulk, Skull, and the Professor a ride on their galaxy gliders. ADORABLE.

Meanwhile, the Borg Princess kicks Darkonda out. And Andros, and Zhane are trying to figure out how to fix Astronema. DUN DUN DUN.

Fish: 2! The science is a little screwy, but EPIC IS EPIC.

Episode 279 - Dark Spectre's Revenge Part 1

Welcome back, dear readers! We've missed you and this blog!

Today on Power Rangers, Astronema is being a Good Girl and Andros is showing her around the ship. Andros shows her the replicator synthetron. He pulls out a plate of the weirdest combination of food and she is totally not hungry.

Which is good because she gets called to the bridge (they call her Karone!), and the others are all standing there looking stern, then they pull a Scrooge and make her an honorary Power Ranger. DAW!

Meanwhile, Ecliptor is having a Terrible Horribly No Good Very Bad Day, what with being assaulted and strapped down to a torture bench (bondage pron!). Darkonda is freaking TERRIFYING. I would not want to be kidnapped by that guy. He reports to Dark Spectre and is totally ready to go get Astronema back from the rangers.

Back on the MegaShip, Karone has rid herself of the awesome coloured hair and is now just regular, blonde, shy Karone in her Ranger jumpsuit. She's cute, but I miss the hair.

And we're back on Earth with Bulk and Skull! They're roasting marshmallows! I LOVE THEM SO! The Professor is stargazing and sees an asteroid and Bulk and Skull assume excitement. Except this is a huge asteroid and it's going to destroy the entire Earth. I think I've seen this movie a few times.

The MegaShip ends up on a collision course with the asteroid. Everyone lurches to the right on cue. Dark Spectre is totally driving that asteroid and demands Astronema be returned. Andros says the first intelligent thing in a long time and says Karone doesn't belong to anybody. DAMN STRAIGHT! They decide to go blow up the super big asteroid. Tiny lasers don't do much damage to it (OMG ACTUAL SCIENCE IN THIS SHOW?!?!?!?! BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!). Darn, where's Bruce Willis (I'd be happy with Morgan Freeman as President as well) when you need him?

TJ is given the explosives to destroy the asteroid while Andros holds back the Quantrons. In this Mega Asteroid Movie, however, nobody is going to die. Because it's Power Rangers Meet the Mega Asteroid. Which is awesome.

And we get MORE actual science, because the explosives do jack shit! The asteroid is still heading to Earth and it's barely damaged and it's HUGE. The rangers scramble to find a solution, when Karone is SUPER AWESOME and finds the only answer. She has to go back to Dark Spectre. It's the only way to stop the asteroid. And she's totally willing to do it because SHE IS THE BEST EVER.

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull attempt to sneak into Nasada with the Professor. They need to go tell them about the GIANT FREAKING ASTEROID headed for Earth. Because apparently the super powerful telescopes didn't pick it up, but the amateur telescope did. Whatever, it's a Mega Asteroid movie, so I don't care how implausible that is. But they are warning people! Because they are awesome! And want to help! Good job, guys.

Karone has made it back to Darkonda's ship and is ready to destroy the asteroid. Except she's confronted by Ecliptor who has been altered. He's not totally evil and is going to hurt her! But he can't! He's her fake!Daddy! Oh Ecliptor, honey. He overpowers her and she loses communication with the rangers. All the cries.

Andros doesn't even time to mourn because Nasada is asking for help dealing with the asteroid. They've already tried that, dude! But they're going to try again. Because they're Power Rangers.

Nasada makes a statement to "Angel Grove and the world", further proving Angel Grove is it's own country. He brings up the asteroid crash of 65 million years ago (OMG MORE SCIENCE FOR THE WIN! I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THE ACCURACY THIS SHOW IS GIVING ME NOW) and how we're looking at more world wide destruction on that scale. The Professor tells everybody to panic, which is horrible advice. Stand up and take your impending demise in stride, people. It will be so much better for you all.

Except the rangers on the case and they use EVEN MORE GOOD SCIENCE by using the MegaZords to push it off course, because THAT is the real life only solution to averting destruction by an asteroid! It doesn't even take much! OH MY GOD THIS SHOW! COULD IT BE ANY BETTER? I DON'T THINK SO! *anime hearts for eyes*

Bulk and Skull and the Professor are going to use a Nasada space ship to go into space. It's... not the best idea? But it's all they have. At least they're trying. So they manage to launch the space ship without any help at all. They hurtle towards the asteroid. The MegaZords are pushing the asteroid at full power. Will they make it?

To be continued...

1 fish. OMG ONE FISH. The actual science in this episode outweighs ANYTHING ELSE that could be wrong with it.