Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Episode 268 - True Blue to the Rescue

Awww, Justin has grown on me SO MUCH since we first started doing this. *pinches his cheeks* To the point that I'm actually excited that Justin is going to be in this episode and actually requested to be the one recapping it!

Aww, it's the Turbo cars! And they are... chained up and being whipped. This is disturbing. Poor vaguely sentient not!transformers! You escape your chains! Or at least Storm Blaster, you escape, since poor Lightning Cruiser does not.

So then we cut to Divatox calling Astronema, who is all "so I lost this little Storm Blaster" thing, and we see a "special guest appearance by Blake Foster!" which yay! Oh right, and Divatox and Astronema are arguing about catching Storm Blaster first, but more importantly we get Divatox mocking Astronema, which is hilarious and awesome.

The Rangers are all excited to see Storm Blaster being chased, except for Andros who is all "WTF, it's a car." That is a valid opinion, Andros. The team morphs and comes to Storm Blaster's aid, and TJ is all "HIIIIIIIII, I'm wearing Blue now! So you're my car!" The team gets caught, and Storm Blaster drives off again.

We cut to Justin! Who still has really bad hair. His dad is telling him to go to bed, but Justin is busy wishing on a star that his friends are ok, and we get a bunch of flashbacks to Turbo, including one of the episode where Justin should have joined the Avengers.

Justin's dad is all "Yeah, I know we had plans, but I'm going to work" and Justin is all "WTF, I gave up Rangering for this? You fail!" Justin hears Storm Blaster outside, and immediately sneaks out of the house.

Justin asks how Lightning Cruiser is, and Justin's car is all "GET IN NOW" and Justin barely hesitates before getting in. There's an ET ripoff scene, and then we cut back to the Rangers being all chained off in the warehouse again. This is of course where Justin and Storm Blaster are going to, and Justin sees that they're all chained up, but he has no powers, oh no! He gets attacked by Quantrons, and manages to fight them off without the monsters inside noticing.

Somehow, Justin gets back into Storm Blaster, and Storm Blaster hands over a new version of his morpher. Um. Where did that come from? And why don't we actually get to see him morph? But he shows up anyway, and is all "you forgot one small thing. Of course, I'm not so small right now." And I'm sticking by the theory of baby!Justin turning into SUPER HOT ADULT BLAKE FOSTER when he morphs, so yaaaay.

There's a pretty decent fight scene or whatever, and Justin is all "WHO IS WEARING MY COLOR????" but he's pretty cool with it once he figures out it's TJ. Really, TJ, you didn't call him once?? It would be one thing if this was like the first episode or whatever, but um, this is midway through the season.

Storm Blaster and the blues shoot at the monster, which gets knocked back. The monster grows, and Justin is all "Okay, so I'm done now, have fun!" TJ is all "You will LOVE the new toys" and we get a fight scene.

Storm Blaster honks at them some more, and they go off to rescue Lightning Cruiser, and the others show off their galaxy gliders. They offer to show Justin, but he's all "I have a car. HA."

There's another fight scene where they beat up some Pirahnatrons and rescue Lightning Cruiser. Justin is all "I'm worried about you guys! (and I miss you)" and the team is all "we loooove you" and they do the once a ranger thing before remembering to introduce him to Andros, who is from the space colonies. Exactly when did Earth colonize space?

Justin (who has saved the day in his pajamas, because he is awesome) is all "so if you need me, call."

Back in Angel Grove, his dad sees a father and son bonding, and decides that maybe he should spend time with his kid. Justin manages to sneak in just before he does, and they decide to go fishing. Considering Justin was out all night, he's going to be REALLY tired.

Also, still the worst dad ever.

Fish: 2.5. So um, where did the spare Turbo morpher come from? Can Justin still morph later on? Does he get to keep Storm Blaster? These are important questions that must be answered!

Episode 267- The Rangers' Mega Voyage

Shana tova everyone! We are BACK! And we start the new year (the Jewish one anyway) with Power Rangers! What better way to ring in Rosh Hashanah, eh? (or, as Matt Austin Sadowski wished us on his twitter "Happy JewYear")

So we start out with a fight. A fight? Really? That... does not bode well. It's two big monsters and they're going after the Megazord. Carlos notes that reserve power is about to go out. This must have been one heck of a fight. Alpha has worked out one of the key cards and I have to wonder why he was doing that instead of helping with the MEGAFIGHT, but whatever. He's found a super awesome weapon that they conveniently have juuusstttt enough power to go get.

One of the monsters goes after the rangers. Astronema is all badass with a card playing monster we saw when there was Sword Fighting on my Power Rangers. She's very much with the "torture is fun!" and manages to get lots of information about the key cards. Very helpfully provided to us, the viewers, in the form of clips from the previous episode. Way to waste a clip show.

The rangers find the Super Awesome Weapon while the other monster is attacking Alpha and DECA. They aren't really doing much in the fighting back bit. Unfortunately, Astronema totally wants that weapon and heads them off at the pass. Andros is sure he's found the weapon because he totally knows it when he sees it, but Cassie provides drama by FALLING DOWN dramatically as the door closes. She jumps right through just in time, sealing them off from Astronema. This is not an exciting chase scene. They need to take some pointers from Indiana Jones.

The weapon is really five new zords. Four of which are conveniently positioned around a very phallic looking rocket. OH SHOW. Zordon left the New Toys because he totes trolls the rangers. They take the New Toys back to Earth and fight the monster. I'm wondering what happened to the monster that was supposed to be following them. Is he just chilling out in space? Just kind of milling about enjoying the view? They ARE on one of Jupiter's moons. That's got to be one pretty sweet view.

There is a boring fight. It is almost as boring as JDF (did you hear he's this years NPS guest? I... really could care less. I used to live near the dude. Didn't care then, either) The New Toys rescue Alpha and DECA just in time. There is dramatic music. It's not nearly as epic as Rick Astley. This episode is still boring.

(this episode is made so much better by the Spousal Person helpfully playing Rick Astley in the background for the whole 20 minutes... which might have been irritating if I didn't unironically love Rick Astley.)

5 fish, for being utterly boring and forgettable.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Episode 265 - T.J.'s Identity Crisis

Awww, the team is playing basketball! How adorable are they? I really love the various team building things where they play ridiculous sports, and I'm even willing to buy the matching outfits, because... adorable. Also, TJ is clearly hooking up with EVERYONE on the team, and I approve of this.

Anyway, DECA disturbs the basketball game to tell them that they've arrived on some planet and Andros points out that if someone sees them the whole mission is worthless. Of course, there's Darkonda. HEY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR BRIGHTLY COLOR CODED CLOTHING, EVER THINK OF THAT???

Back on the ship, Carlos asks Andros about the technobabble that's going to scan the galaxy really quickly or something.

Darkona sneaks up on Astronema, who is super annoyed with him for that. Darkonda is all "Ecliptor sucks" and Astronema is mad on his behalf. Why is this season not about Ecliptor and Astronema and how they are awesome? Ecliptor storms in and Darkonda spills the beans on the satellite. Darkonda and Ecliptor then blow up the scanner with Darkonda being all threatening about telling Astronema something, and somehow this causes the Rangers to lose the lock they had on Zordon. UM, YOU HAD ALREADY LOCATED HIM OR WHATEVER.

Anyway, time for a fight scene. Darkonda tries to kill Ecliptor or merge with him or somethign, because Darkonda is a GREAT villain and then we get Darkliptor. Darkliptor freezes Ashley and Cassie, and Andros tries to be one of THOSE reds and just run and attack even though TJ is all "DUDE, YOU NEED A PLAN." TJ takes a blow that was meant for Andros and goes down HARD. Carlos also gets all frozen or whatever and Andros takes the unconscious TJ back to the ship, leaving the others on the planet.

AND THEN WE FIND OUT TJ HAS AMNESIA AND LIKE, FAVORITE THING EVER.

Um, I have mentioned my love of amnesia before, yes?

TJ runs through the megaship and we head over to where Darkliptor has the other Rangers. Astronema seems to be buying Darkliptor's claim that Ecliptor had attacked Darkonda, or at least she's all "eh, he's caught three of them. Useful." She orders him to destroy the three Rangers, but he claims they're needed as bait. ASTRONEMA IS THE SMARTEST, EVERYONE SHOULD LISTEN TO HER.

Back on the ship, TJ is still confused and Andros tries to jog his memory. TJ denies that he's a power ranger and Andros goes down to the planet himself.

You guys, this episode needs so much more of TJ not remembering that he's dating Cassie and/or Andros and them being all "CUDDLES!" For an episode that is supposed to be about amnesia, I am not getting the good parts of this trope. :((((

Andros is getting beaten up, while TJ explores the ship. He finds a basketball and somehow this makes him start to remember or whatever? Pfft. He then finds his locker which has pictures of the team , and he manages to teleport himself to watch the battle. He morphs and is still confused about being the blue ranger, and Darkliptor immediately attacks him. TJ is about to get killed when Andros saves him, and THEN TJ remembers.

Look, this is the biggest waste of an amnesia plot ever. WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS????

TJ remembers Andros, since apparently they are totally dating, and the two of them attack Darkliptor together. They trick him by throwing weapons and then blasting him and the amount I don't care about fight scenes or whatever. When Andros hits Darkliptor he splits back into Darkonda and Ecliptor and Astronema is all "what???" Darkonda recombines with Ecliptor just as Astronema makes them grow. Zords are summoned and Darkonda separates from Ecliptor again to make Ecliptor get destroyed instead of them both. Astronema proves to be a moron and believes Ecliptor attacked Darkonda, and declares him to be Ecliptor's equal. I am more concerned with whatever it is that Darkonda is blackmailing Ecliptor with, because I don't remember.

Back on the ship, apparently the technobabbley device is broken forever. TJ doesn't seem to remember what basketball is, so Carlos and Ashley are totally unconcerned about this and are just all "We are so going to beat them" but TJ is faking it. (Also, I choose to believe that TJ, Cassie and Andros are having a threesome.)

Fish: 3. HEY, WHERE ARE MY HIJINKS?

Fic we want: Take a guess

Episode 266- Flashes of Darkonda

So I was going to try to do something really awesome this past weekend while TSB was at DragonCon. I thought about recapping the first episode of Gokaiger or VR Troopers. Then I thought I'd go way back and really hit my nostalgia button and do the first episode of Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog. Instead, I read books two and three of A Song of Ice and Fire and alas, you all suffered the loss. Sorry? Only not really because new obsession.

Anyway! Today Andros wins at gambling and tries to out-do even himself as being the Emoest Ranger with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Andros keeps a picture of himself and a picture of Karone on his bedside table. We know this because he's dreaming and we see his dream, where he is confronted by Darkonda. Apparently they've met before. Andros doesn't remember.

TJ and the others go check out a planet in the Dagobah system (heeee) and Andros stays behind. He tortures himself by watching the doesn't-work-like-that-video of his sister being kidnapped. And of course NOW he recognizes that it was Darkonda that took her. Really dude? Took you THAT LONG?

So now Andros is angry AND emo. You can tell because he clenches his fists and scrunches his face together while frowning and trying to look sad. He runs off to go to some old west town on some planet in a prohibited sector. ALL the monsters in ALL the land from ALL the seasons are there. I would TOTALLY HANG OUT HERE. And so would the crew of Firefly (before they go hang out with the Gokaiger rangers, that is). Darkonda is there, of course, and he's trying to take a vial of something. The little rat totally switches it out for something Ecliptor gave him though. Gee, I wonder if Darkonda will notice. *eyeroll*

Andros has donned that Cape of Most Suspicion again. He's gambling with the monsters and totally wins all the things. Darkonda is intrigued by this most suspicious gambler and buys him a drink. Darkonda, I don't think you're his type. Although Andros totally strings him along to get information about Karone... and Darkonda gives it over pretty willing. Until he spies the morpher and then there is SWORD FIGHTING. OMG YOU GUYS THERE IS SWORD FIGHTING ON MY POWER RANGERS! And then Andros runs away. Mores the pity. I was enjoying that sword fight.

Andros goes back to the Megaship with key cards he stole off Darkonda. He thinks they contain information on Zordon, but Darkonda contacts him and says he'll tell him where Karone is if he'll bring the keycards back. Andros proves to be a dumbass yet again because HE GOES AFTER HIM. Darkonda drinks the vial of stuff he took off the guy earlier thinking it's strength potion. It's totally not, but he doesn't realize this until after he's beaten up the rangers a bit. He runs away due to the effects of the poison, but then he grows and the rangers have to call All the Toys. The fight is actually pretty epic and then another monster comes and... usually they win quickly, but not this time. Every time they think they've knocked him down, he gets back up again. THEY TOTALLY DON'T WIN. OMG YOU GUYS. FOR ONCE THEY DIDN'T WIN A ZORD FIGHT. Well they did, but not really. It was... epic, for a Power Rangers battle.

4 fish, because videos don't work like that and Andros stop being a dumbass and just focus on being the Emoest Ranger to Ever Emo with the Saddest Sad in All the Land.

Fic we want: The crew of Firefly hanging out at that bar. And with the Gokaiger Rangers. Or maybe that's just me (I'm still waiting for somebody to fanvid an opening to Gokaiger set to the Firefly theme song).