Episode 165 - Graduation Blues

By luck of the draw, I'm writing the recap this time. Which is good, because if Queenriley was writing it, she's admitted that the recap would go something like this.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BILLY NEEDS ALL THE HUGS AND THE RANGERS SUCK AT BEING FRIENDS.

Which um, I agree with, but will write about with slightly less caps (in a weird reversal of our normal roles.)

Anyway, the episode opens at Angel Grove High, where Billy has been called to the principal's office. Here we find out that even though Billy claims he's a junior, he has more credits than anyone else in the school, including the seniors. So now it's time for him to graduate.

This is wrong on several levels.

1-Like Billy wasn't keeping track of how many credits he has.
2-So they're just going to dump the smartest student in the middle of a year instead of letting him being valedictorian, and they're not even giving him any time to apply to college. That is CRAP.
3-There is no way that they're still juniors. For the record, I FIRMLY believe that MMPR1/MMPR2 is junior year, and MMPR3/Zeo is senior year. I don't really care what the canon tells me, because I've stopped counting the amount of summer vacations they've had.

So yeah, Billy has now graduated with no notice at all, so the Rangers do the only thing they can do - party at the youth center! \o/

Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are on garbage pickup duty at the park. Or rather, they intend to have slave!Rito and slave!Goldar do it. Goldar is getting annoyed about how they're being bossed around, but Rito is just glad they have a home. Oh, Rito. You need so many hugs. But this is interrupted when a spaceship lands. Hey, it's Cestro! He needs Billy, because Billy is the only one who can save the world.

Well, duh.

Also, Bulk and Sull have no idea who Cestro is, so we're guessing nobody remembers the whole turned into kids thing.

Anyway, Skull kidnaps Billy at his party, and Billy is very glad to see Cestro. Cestro explains that Aquitar is under attack by hydrocontaminators, and that is destroying Aquitar's computer systems, so they can't teleport, except they can totally still launch a space ship. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Billy offers to help Cestro build his weird device thing, that coincidentally, should also help out the Zeo team.

Back at the park, Lt. Stone has noticed that there's an alien ship being guarded, and comes to the brilliant conclusion that Angel Grove has been invaded by aliens. REALLY? I'm SHOCKED. SHOCKED. Lt. Stone then decides to be a superhero and chases them all over the park.

Billy and Cestro work on the device, when the Hydrocontaminator monster shows up and attacks them. Billy could totally have handled it, but the other Rangers show up and fight, and Mondo is all "Hmm, someone else is attacking the Rangers. Let me help!" and sends down some Cogs. Billy and Cestro go back to the Power Chamber to work on the device. They are terrified that if the Hydrocontaminator contaminates one lake, then all the water in the world will be destroyed. Except it doesn't work like that. Whatever.

Billy is all stressed but he's nearly finished with the device. Cestro claps him on the back of the head, which knocks out his contacts, making it seem like he can't finish the device. But never fear, Billy has backup glasses. LIKE HE'S SUPPOSED TO. He makes the final adjustments, but Cestro isn't sure that he can do it by himself back on Aquitar, so Billy says he'll go with Cestro, and Queenriley goes into an "I has a sad" blackout for the rest of the episode. (Understandably, considering what's coming in the future.)

Anyway, the device works, and Billy packs his bag and goes off with Cestro. His alien fetish is STRONG. But you know, I can understand and this part at least does make sense for the character. Billy totally grew up on scifi, and I wouldn't turn down the chance to go visit an alien world or go travel with The Doctor or join Starfleet or any of those things if I had the option. And Billy makes a good point - the Aquitian Rangers came to help them. Billy totally has to do the same.

Billy goes into the space ship and claims his parents gave him permission, and they head off. The other Rangers defeat the monster, and then go to find Billy, but they're too late. Billy is gone. Tommy says they'll miss him, but it isn't like they miss Kim or Aisha or Trini or Zack or Jason, so... Yeah. :(

In conclusion - Billy has an alien fetish and the Rangers are bad friends, and David Yost needs all the hugs in the world. BUT, Billy going to Aquitar actually does make sense for Billy's character development, so we will save most of our ranting for the end of the season.

Fish: 4. GRADUATION DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT, SHOW. Also, the nonsense about not being able to use a teleporter because the computers are down, but they can still launch a spaceship. RIGHT.

Episode 164- Invasion of the Ranger Snatchers

So this episode is the trippiest episode EVER. Like, it's even trippier than A Clockwork Orange, okay? And I'm glad we did this tonight, a day late, instead of last night, when we usually do, because I'm not sure I could have handled this supremely awesome and yet uber-WEIRD episode on the last night of Chanukah (in which there were piles of latkes and roast chicken and beer and gelt and dreidel and presents and very pretty candles and my new favouritest holiday story EVER, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming).

I... don't know if I can explain this episode.

Rocky, Tanya, and Kat are going to be extras in some movie/tv show/filming production of some sort. Rocky wants to be the star, though, and swears up and down he can act, he really really can, and I can't help but combine character and actor here because, no, Steve, honey, you can't. You really really can't. But you're VERY pretty in your blue not-really-a-toga and you have VERY lovely arms, so I can forgive the horrendous overacting. I'd watch him walk around in a toga any day of the week. Ahem.

Moving on. Bulk and Skull get placed on guard duty for said film production. Skull wants to be in the show, but Bulk keeps him on the straight and narrow. Daw. Sprocket, in his ever annoying whine, wants to make a movie of HIS OWN. So, despite the nails-on-a-chalkboard-grating whine, he comes up with a really good plan. He's going to make a movie, and trap the rangers in it! Good thinking, kid. Drop the entitled whinging, and I might actually like you.

Cogs end up at the production site to kidnap Rocky, Tanya, and Kat. Except everybody mistakes them for extras in costume and, despite Rocky trying to warn them, Director Guy puts them on set. They try to take out the main actor hero guy, but Rocky steps in and saves the day. Because he's AWESOME like that. He calls for Kat and Tanya, who have remained completely oblivious during all this (I maintain they were back behind one of the trailers "getting to know each other"). They run off set and morph, really failing at that secret identity thing.

Meanwhile, at the Youth Center, Billy has been super sweet and created a workout program for Adam and Tommy, using their biorhythms or something like that. It gets increasingly difficult based on what their bodies tell his program. There is lots of gratuitous rolling and sparring and then they get called to help the others. Billy goes to the Power Chamber to investigate while Adam and Tommy go to fight cogs.

Except somehow they get sucked into Sprocket's movie. Where they sit on a weird Alice in Wonderland room for awhile. Nothing can get in, and nothing can get out. They agree to play along with Sprocket's plan because, well, nothing else is working I guess? But it's just... ODD. Like, I can't even begin to explain what happens.

Somehow there is a room where things happen. Then Tommy and Tanya have to go do something through a doorway in another section of Sprocket's "movie studio". Billy gets a message through, and Adam declares that he must find Tommy and Tanya in order to live happily ever after. And a new threesome ship is born. So they all find each other.

But then they find chickens! Which came through a portal of some sort. Because a bus in the "real world" pushed them through. So the rangers all go through the portal. Into the "real world". Where they end up on horses chasing the bus. There are children crying in the bus, except there are no passengers on the bus whatsoever, which we discover when they all jump through the bus windows. They jump OUT of the bus holding onto adult passengers that came out of nowhere, and the bus goes over a cliff and explodes. The people vanish. But they're in the real world now? Or they think they're in the real world? I don't... um... yeah.

So they all think they've rewritten Sprocket's script and they get a happy ending and they're free. Except they're attacked in really bad splicing by four monsters. And they call the zords, which they shouldn't be able to do if they were in the movie world, but then what happened with the bus couldn't have happened in the real world so... fish? Definitely fish. Oceans and oceans FULL of fish.

I just call really bad FISH trip for the whole rest of the episode.

At some point the four monsters end up being a train, which they defeat by destroying the tracks. And that destroys Sprocket's plan and they win for the episode. Somehow.

Look, I said I didn't know how to explain this episode! And I meant it. It's seriously like they were all on a really bad acid trip when they tried to write it. We're just writing it off as a lot of fish and the rangers changed the plot of the episode. So there.

So back on the actual movie set, Rocky is all excited to do his first stunt. But this is where Rocky learns about stuntmen. Because he doesn't get to do it. His stand-in does. Meaning Skull. AWWWWWWWW.

I... am not quite sure what I just watched. But it was fun!

Fish: 5. 5 5 5 5 5. I haven't seen such a confusing, bad trip in... um... ever.

Episode 163 - The Puppet Blaster

This episode has a pretty old school feel to it, which I really enjoyed. Possibly because I watched a lot of Pee-Wee's Playhouse as a kid.

Anyway, the episode begins with Kat, Rocky and Tommy attending a kid's show held at the youth center. It's Captain Pete and Puppet Man! We spent a while debating whether Puppet Man was just a guy in a suit, which is what he should be, and then realized that no, apparently Angel Grove actually has robots. I'm impressed by the level of technology available to Angel Grove. (Also, he should be ROBOT Man, not Puppet Man.) Anyway, Captain Pete tells everyone that the secret word is Power Rangers!

I have no idea why the Rangers are watching this, because they are taking up seats that should be available to actual tiny children, so we're guessing that they were supposed to be bonding with an inappropriately young friend, but the writers forgot. Ernie is pleased to be giving back to the community, and aww, Ernie. We love you.

The kids are asked to name their favorite superhero, and they name the Power Rangers, so of course stuff gets thrown at them. The kid in front has an umbrella. That kid is smart. Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull are baby-sitting Lt. Stone's nephew, who is named Arnie, and has a horrible mullet. The kid is also a giant brat.

Somewhere else in Angel Grove, Adam and Tanya are off training together. Adam is clearly showing off for Tanya, since he's showing her stuff that's way too advanced for a beginner. However, Tanya picks up on it, and they are busy being ridiculously adorable, and my little shipper heart is pleased. We cut away from them, probably so they can go make out, and then return to the Youth Center, where King Mondo has sent down Cogs.

And this is where things get weird. Rocky is all ready to go fight the Cogs, or at least get the kids out of there, but Tommy is all "NO, we must not escalate a battle." Which, fine. That is one of the original rules and all, but I figure that maybe there could be an exception made so they can GET THE KIDS OUT OF POTENTIAL DANGER? You fail SO HARD, Tommy Oliver. Anyway, the Cogs don't actually attack the kids, but they instead plant a device on the puppet-robot, and vanish. As soon as they do, the three Rangers go contact Zordon, and the device on Puppet Man is activated, turning all of the kids into brats with glowing eyes of doom The other Rangers are summoned, and they all teleport in to try and stop the children, who are now being used as human zombie shields. The Rangers realize there's nothing they can do, and teleport to the Power Chamber, while the children run wild throughout the youth center, and then the puppet goes to the park, where it spreads its spell of brattiness. (If there was a person in the suit, they would totally have had a discussion about not hurting it, but that didn't happen, so clearly it is a robot.)

The Rangers + Billy figure out that the plan is to broadcast the signal that Puppet Man is putting out, brainwashing all the kids in the world. They go fight it, and then Zords are summoned, and then Billy comes up with a new toy for Tommy in the defender wheel. Which, ok, is pretty cool. Of course, then there are more Zords, and somehow it's figured out that the monster's weakness is in its nose, and we guess the writers got this puppet confused with another puppet with a big nose. Anyway, he's destroyed, and Alpha puts the robot back together again.

This time, all of the Rangers + Billy are taking up seats in the kids show. Ernie is disturbed by the mess, and Bulk and Skull have been tied up. Arnie remains a brat, and threatens to have Bulk and Skull kicked off the force by telling his uncle how much they failed, but as he's explaining to Lt. Stone what happened, he says Power Rangers, and gets hit in the face with a pie.

At least it wasn't Bulk this time.

Fish: 4. Everything about that puppet is wrong.

Covered in food: Arnie. What a brat.

Episode 162- Every Dog Has His Day

If we could strike this episode from canon, we would. I'm on my third beer, and I still spent most of the episode wanting to headdesk. I wanted to make this entire recap be "And this episode is Kat running around failing a lot. It made me mad, but I had beer, and it's Chanukah, so all was well. The end." but I didn't think that would fly. So you get this instead.

But! It's the first night of Chanukah! Chag sameach! We're celebrating with alcohol and I am drinking my, unironically, favourite beer. He'Brew, the Messiah Bold. It's the beer you've been waiting for. And it's kosher. We did a group menorah lighting downtown tonight and then did candles and a present per Small Person at home. Emo Kid spent the hour leading up to his bedtime running around "singing" (by singing, I really mean screaming at the top of his lungs) "Oh Chanukah Oh Chanukah, I light the menorah! I want a party! We'll all dance with Dora!" over and over and over again. But Small People are in bed. And I have beer. And it's been a good first night of Chanukah. Except... well...

This episode is NOT a good way to celebrate Chanukah.

We start off with Kat presenting her completed Civics class project (and watching poor Steve trying to get that out during the outtakes just made me want to laugh). She has trained the very first police dog for the Angel Grove Police. Why they're letting a HIGH SCHOOLER train their search and rescue dog, I have no idea. Based on this episode, she clearly doesn't know what she's doing.

So Bulk and Skull end up in charge of bathing the dog. Instead they bathe themselves. And then the dog runs away. So they go tell Lt. Stone about it, and Kat overhears, so she has to go find the dog too. She ends up outside a cave, where she discovered Cogs trying to disrupt a lava flow (Kim's zord used to live here!) and destroy Angel Grove. So now Angel Grove has mountains, beaches, glaciers, and lava flows? It really is it's own country! Clearly, Angel Grove is Iceland (except the geography still doesn't make sense, even if it's Iceland, but we'll ignore that for now). Angel Grove just got TEN TIMES cooler in my book. *loves Iceland and snuggles it close*

Kat morphs and runs off searching for the dog again. Except oh noes! She falls down! And force demorphs! And breaks the communicator! And twists her ankle! And must run away from cogs on a twisted ankle where she can't morph or contact anybody! If my head hit the desk any harder, I'm afraid I'd break the desk.

So she finds a hiding spot and attaches her broken communicator to the dog's collar. He goes straight to Rocky, Billy, and Tommy. They are about to follow the dog back to Kat when Bulk and Skull, finally having found the dog, take him back to Lt. Stone. Billy goes to the Power Chamber to try to get a fix on Kat's last known location while Rocky and Tommy morph and go look for her. On the awesome bikes they got in the very bad splicing at the beginning of this episode. Why they don't just have Billy locate her and teleport her out we have no idea. I mean, he can teleport a baby FALLING THROUGH MIDAIR and yet he can't locate Kat? Whatever.

The dog manages to get away again and finds Kat. He brings her the zeonizer. How he knew to go get it, we don't know. The fish told him, we suppose. She morphs and is MAGICALLY ALL BETTER. Except partway into the fight against the cogs and fire hydrant monster that found her, she twists her ankle. AGAIN. OH NOES. Tommy comes to her rescue (are we supposed to swoon? Because I'm kind of... well... not).

A very boring fight ensues. They win. Of course.

Back at the Youth Center, Tanya and Kat tease Bulk and Skull because the dog outranks them and will likely be their boss soon. This is not funny. And Tanya and Kat really need longer skirts. And better hairstyles.

I need another beer.

5 fish. All the fish in the world. This is the episode that made more people dislike Kat. And I can't blame them for tuning out after this one. She could have been SOOOOOO much better.