Episode 69- The Beetle Invasion

Today on Power Rangers, I am reminded of lots of things that aren't Power Rangers!

We start out in the Youth Center. Ernie is playing broomball. He's apparently agreed to a match against the Stone Canyon team. The only problem is Ernie and Angel Grove don't actually have a broomball team. We had to squee for a few minutes because, hello, Stone Canyon! Setting up early perhaps? :D So Ernie tries to talk to rangers into playing for his team. They're a little hesitant. Until, that is, the Stone Canyon team comes in to hang up fliers. Why they're plastering the neighboring city with fliers for their team I don't know, but roll with it. They're total jerks. So because of their dickwad-ish attitude, the rangers agree to play for Ernie's team.

Meanwhile, Zedd has been watching. He's OBSESSED with Tommy. I mean, like, Goldar and Jason level obsessed. So Zedd/Tommy is now the OTHER Love That Daren't Speak It's Name. He plans on using the mascot for the Stone Canyon team, a beetle, and making a monster out of it that will drain Tommy's power.

Back at the Youth Center, Bulk and Skull come in with a giant pig nose. Bulk bought it off the back of a comic book. Aw, Bulk reads comics! Awesome. Anyway, they plan to use it to sniff out the power rangers. Not sure how that will work, but it's kind of cute, so I go with it. And here is where we meet Ritchie. He's the new kid in school and he wants to play for Ernie's team, but alas, the team is full. But Ernie says Ritchie can co-captain. And Trini swoons.

In the next scene, Tommy and Kim are running alone in the park. This means they'll be attacked by putties. It ALWAYS happens. So Zedd sends down some putties and they fight for a bit. They knock Tommy down a lot and Kim has taken lessons on how to vogue mid-fight. Instead of calling for backup, they morph and fight some more. Zordon is still apparently trying to sabotage Tommy because he doesn't alert the others until Kim calls for help. They morph and end up fighting the beetle monster who knocks Tommy down again and then drains his powers. While explaining that he's draining his powers.

They finally have to go to the Command Center where Billy analyzes some data and discovers that Tommy is just fine health wise. He agrees he feels fine, just weak. They then try to figure out what the beetle did to Tommy. Um. He drained Tommy's powers. He kind of explained that already. While he was doing it. It was really quite obvious, I assure you.

Then Alpha and Billy say some technobabble which I totally missed because I was too busy being distracted by the big school of fish swimming across the screen. I mean, by the explanation for power ranger energies and transducers and power replacement. It was really just a bunch of fish here. Billy tells Alpha to construct a transducer that can rebuild Tommy's powers, or something to that effect, and I swear Billy is very pretty and smart, but really all it sounded like was "Hey Alpha, take this fishing pole and go catch us a plot device, mkay?".

Morphed, they leave Tommy behind and go fight the beetle monster thing again. Zack takes him on by himself and the others just kind of stand back and watch. What were they doing this whole time? We're not sure. We do have a theory though. I believe they were distracted by his very lovely arse. I'm sure Jason was standing there saying "Hang on Zack, I'd love to jump in and help you here, but DAMN you're a fine piece of ass." which would totally explain why they... well... just stood there.

Jason then actually says they need to get the monster to leave the Conveniently Abandoned Rock Quarry so they can fight him on their own ground. So he runs off. And the others follow because they can't do anything else. Apparently they needed a big pile of fish to fight on.

Back at the Command Center, Tommy asks Alpha to explain the transducer. He sort of did, but I missed it because every time they mention the word transducer, I could only think of one thing. "This sonic transducer...it is, I suppose, some kind of audio-vibratory-physio-molecular transport device?"

Back at the fight, they end up in hill country. They call the power weapons and almost have the beetle monster, but Zedd makes him grow. I predict this before it even happens.
"and it grows
and they'll call the zords
and they'll form the thundermegazord
and they'll fight for a minute
and then they'll pull out the thunder sword
and the fight will be over"
And that's basically what happened. It grew. It knocked them over. They fell over in the cockpit. Billy and Zack made a Jason sandwich. They stand up. Jason tells them to get to battle stations, which always leads me to Captain Picard, even though I thought they already WERE at battle stations. They fight some more. They pull out the thunder sabre. The thunder sabre saves the day. End of fight. Surprise surprise surprise.

Zedd isn't upset he lost, though, because they drained Tommy's powers. He is really obsessed.

Back at the Youth Center, the Angel Grove team beats the pants off the Stone Canyon team. They're playing broomball in the very confined space of the Youth Center. And they're all wearing goggles. We can't help but to hope/imagine that they're slash goggles. Tommy makes the winning shot by possibly breaking the rules. And then they talk about Tommy losing his powers in the middle of the Youth Center. Way to go, guys. Because nobody will overhear you or anything.

List time!

5 fish. Solidly. I missed half the episode because that big school of fish kept taking over the screen.

Billy speak: "I thought there was a large coleoptera on that poster."

"Perhaps Alpha can construct a green energy transducer that will recapture Tommy's powers."

Covered in food: nobody

Episode 68 - The Power Stealer

Today on Power Rangers - we link to a bunch of youtube clips and Kimberly's outfit is so awesome that even queenriley noticed. Plus, Tommy gets tied up a lot. (He and Dick Grayson should be friends. I feel that my Sims are going to need an update.)

Anyway, the actual episode begins with them having to clean up Angel Grove, even though we just did this thirty episodes ago. Man, Angel Grove must get dirty really fast. I guess that people don't bother to clean up unless people are organizing a whole big thing? Captain Planet does not approve!

This time the clean up club (not that they're calling it this, but we like to pretend that there's some continuity in the show) is being interviewed by a new reporter. For some reason, the Rangers in their civilian IDs are the ones that they're talking to. I guess Angel Grove is having a slow news day - maybe there haven't been any monster attacks yet this week? The reporter asks them if they think that there's any truth to the rumor that the Power Rangers will show up. The Rangers prove to be the worst liars ever.

Two questions arise from this - first, how did this rumor get started? The Rangers have clearly not said that they would go, and honestly, why would they bother? Superheroes never help clean things up. I read enough comics to know that. Second, why would they ask a random bunch of kids if they know the Rangers? Clearly, this means that the only people in Angel Grove who don't know their identities are Bulk and Skull, and honestly, I'm not that convinced that Skull doesn't know.

Also, they have a VCR and videotape. We are SO OLD.

Bulk and Skull come up with today's grand plan to unmask the Rangers - they are going to pull the rangers helmets off while they're on tv. Oh, boys, this isn't Scooby Doo. It doesn't work like that. Zedd also has a plan - he's going to unleash the Octophantom to capture the Rangers and drain their powers.

At the park, Tommy (in the most ridiculous pants ever) is being interviewed when Putties show up. Everyone runs away when Jason tells them to. Seriously, why is everyone following Jason's orders? Isn't anyone worried about him?

The camera keeps running while Tommy, Jason and Kim fight and then morph. This is clearly not going to end well. Tommy falls down a lot, and Tommy yells that it's a trap! and both of us fall over laughing. Tommy gets captured (and tied up - seriously, I'd forgotten how often that happens. Between this and Batman: The Animated Series, I apparently watched a lot of borderline inappropriate things as a child - Dic Grayson is the only character in existence who gets tied up more than Tommy does) and Jason and Kim teleport to the Command Center without destroying the tape. Bulk and Skull then take the camera to expose the Rangers identities.

You know, the fact that Zedd knows enough to try and remove Tommy first actually speaks well of him. It's easier to beat 5 Rangers than 6. Not a bad idea, really!

Lord Zedd decides to send his monster back down to vandalize Angel Grove (and ruin the Pacific Heritage monuments) in the hopes that the pollution will draw out the Rangers. No, Zedd, the people who should show up if you do that are Captain Planet and the Planeteers. But since they weren't available, the Rangers show up. Kimberly, Zack and Trini also get captured, and Billy figures out that the monster's weakness is that it is Gaston. In other words, it's weakness is mirrors. Again.

Billy needs to go build another mirror weapon, so Jason has to go fight the Octophantom (which is apparently a cross between an octopus and an elephant, although we feel this is wrong. It is actually Cthulhu.) Jason goes to fight by himself, and he tells the monster that he's not alone - his friends are with him in spirit and fights. Billy eventually shows up with a weird mirror shield (stopping the monster from catching Jason in the process. Because Billy is awesome.) and then rescues the others while Jason fights the monster. (Why the monster brought the captured Rangers with him, we don't know.) Tommy is so weak by this point that his green has faded to gray, and Billy forces Tommy to go to the Command Center. Because Tommy is useless.

Anyway, the monster grows, they summon the thunderzord, you know the drill.

Back at the Youth Center, we are reminded that Tommy's powers are failing. Bulk and Skull show up with their tape, which apparently they haven't bothered to watch themselves yet. Zack and Billy manage to switch the tapes, so when it goes on, they actually show a cartoon. Everyone laughs, and the Rangers mutter that this was a close one.

Fish: Two. Nothing really jumped out at us.

Questions: Why is this monster's weakness vanity? What does that have to do with an octopus?

Fic people should write us: Who would win in a fight? Captain Planet vs Lord Zedd
What would happen if Bulk and Skull had managed to expose the Rangers' identities?

Episode 67- The Green Dream

Yay! We get to use the Tommy is better when he's evil tag again!

So we start the episode out at the end of class. The students are reminded that their essay is due on Friday. It needs to be 500 words long and about something that interests them. Clearly, the rangers are either in third grade or attend TSB's grad school and this is their final.

Bulk and Skull haven't started theirs yet, but they decide they're going to write about finding out the real identities of the Power Rangers. Oh boys. *pets*

In the hallway, Tommy doesn't hear Kim because he's thinking about the nightmare he's had three nights in a row now. He's dreaming about losing his powers. This is actually a completely normal and healthy response to something major in one's life and for all that I dislike the character, his wooby face makes me want to give him a hug. Meanwhile, they talk VERY LOUDLY about losing the green ranger powers in the middle of the hallway. Secret identities. They don't work like that.

Zedd overhears from the moon (but none of the kids standing next to them do?) and decides to take advantage of that little nightmare. Oh, Zedd! *dreamy fangirl sigh*

At the Youth Center, Billy explains a device he's created that scrambles electronic waves up to twenty feet. He's determined to build an even bigger version that can scramble Zedd's electronic waves from the moon. How that won't interfere with anything else, I'm not sure, but it's Billy and he's awesome so I'll go along with it. Tommy joins them and talks about how hard the paper is going to be and his nightmares and how he fails at being Emo Ranger. He's off to the library to find a book on mythology, as that's what he's decided to write his paper on. Before he can leave, however, Bulk and Skull come in with some sort of device. It's somehow going to find some specific signal to tell them who the rangers are. They almost hone in on our six heroes when Billy sets off his scrambler and directs Bulk and Skull to Ernie. Ernie's pretending is kind of cute, actually. Defeated, they leave and Tommy follows. At some point Jason was mocking Bulk and Skull, but I was too busy being distracted by his pretty pretty arms to notice what he said.

Tommy's alone in the park, which is never a good thing. Sure enough, he's attacked by putties, captured, and teleported to the Cave of Captivity where he's confronted by Goldar. Goldar is rather sad he had to get Tommy instead of Jason. Tommy swears he won't go evil again and then is promptly put under a spell and swears his allegiance to Lord Zedd. Oh Tommy. Good try there, honey.

He goes back to the Youth Center, his kidnapping and spell going completely unnoticed, and then Zordon calls them all to the Command Center. Apparently Zedd has sent down the Robogoat. Tommy wants to fight, they want him to conserve his powers, yada yada yada. He has a suggestion! Maybe the Convenient Plot Device, I mean, the Sword of Power (which I don't think we ever see again), can infuse him with enough power to fight now! They summon it, he reveals his evilness, and teleports away with the Convenient Plot Device. He gives it to the Robogoat and suddenly the spell is broken. Why? Why let him be good again? I can only assume the plan was intercepted by a large school of fish.

He fights, he falls, his power starts to fail, whatever. This whole time Zordon "can't locate his signal" so the rangers are just kind of standing around. As soon as Tommy is down for good, Zordon miraculously finds him. Now, he can analyze a monster in a matter of seconds, he can teleport people into a supposedly impenetrable dark dimension, and yet he can't find Tommy out in the open in the "we fight here every day" abandoned rock quarry. I'm beginning to think Zordon does this on purpose and it's all an evil plot to get rid of Tommy for good. He's purposely sabotaging Tommy. Or maybe he just got distracted by the fish. Either way.

So the others morph and go fight the Robogoat. He bleats evilly at them which really is more adorable than threatening. I just want to scritch him between his little horns.

The rangers, excluding Jason, fall into a hole and disappear. Jason fights the Robogoat for the Convenient Plot Device. Zordon manages to teleport it back to the Command Center, Robogoat lets the other rangers out of energy bubbles (but they fell in a hole in the ground! FISHY FISH FISH what?), and then they all summon zords and fight. Tommy is sad because he is almost out of power and even Dragonzord won't come fight. The other rangers use their spiffy sword to blow up the monster, and the fight is over. Darn.

Back at a very empty school, Tommy is sitting on the steps trying to be Emo Ranger. Kim is trying to comfort him and Jason either needs acting lessons or really actually doesn't care because he's more condescending than comforting.

List time:
3.5 fish... the Convenient Plot Device was the only glaring problem, but get enough little fish and it adds up.

Billy speak: "It's capable of scrambling electronic signals up to 20 feet away." I consider it borderline Billy speak, but it's all we get this episode, so there you go.

Episode 66 - Bloom Of Doom

Today on Power Rangers - Kimberly and Trini are totally girlfriends BFF, Bulk proposes the greatest crossover since we found out Batman exists in the Power Rangers Universe and Kimberly proves why she is my favorite female Ranger.

So, we open with a club fair. Apparently this is the last day to sign up for clubs. If you move in the middle of the year you aren't allowed to join. Sorry, Stone Canyon Trio! Also, it appears that you can only sign up for one club. Angel Grove makes no sense.

Zack is running a hip hop kido club, which means we get gratuitous shots of him dancing. *fans self* You know, they could just show us 22 minutes of that, I'd have no real problem. Jason, Tommy and Billy don't seem to have any clubs (really, Billy, you aren't running Young Scientists of America? And Jason and Tommy aren't doing something martial arts related? Okay, whatever, we guess they're busy joining the fishing club.) Trini is running the volleyball club, and the show remembered that Kimberly has an interest in flowers so points for continuity! Nobody seems to be interested in joining Kimberly's club, they're all signing up for Trini's. Poor Kimberly is a little bit jealous, which is a perfectly normal reaction. And really, how many high school students are going to sign up for a gardening club?

Zedd sees a sign of weakness among the Rangers, and decides to put a spell on Kimberly to magnify her jealousy and tear the team apart. At least that's what he says he's going to do - unfortunately it appears that a fish got in the way of his plans. Anyway, he sends a putty down to replace Kimberly's cactus with one that will put a spell on her, instead of just hitting it with something from space. The putty has long hair and a trenchcoat. Clearly, he's evil. And we lose a few minutes laughing hysterically.

Oh, and did we mention that Bulk and Skull are running the unsolved mysteries club? How much do we love them, seriously. Of course, we find out that they had to bribe people to join their club, and I just want to hug them both, even if they are horribly mean to Kimberly.

While the putty is stealing Kim's cactus, Ernie makes Kim a drink, and is very much the inappropriate friends, the older generation. Oh, Ernie, we know that you're just trying to make sure that the Rangers all stay emotionally stable.

Anyway, Kimberly talks to her cactus, and then is under a spell. Amy Jo Johnson does bitchy really well. Ernie suggests that Tommy give her some flowers to cheer her up, but really, it doesn't count if Tommy doesn't think of it himself. Kimberly bitches out both Trini and Tommy, and then goes off to her garden. Seriously, I love her so much.

Trini's first practice for volleyball club is apparently 15 minutes after the club fair ends, which makes me assume that she didn't help clean up. Fail, Trini! She's also not very good at teaching volleyball, but we'll forgive her. Especially because her hair is adorable. Soon after Jason and Tommy show up to discuss Kim, and Trini's practice must have been really short. They say that normally Kim wouldn't be upset about nobody signing up for her club, because Rangers aren't allowed to experience any sort of negative emotion, they must be happy and perky all the time. No wonder Tommy is so much better when he's evil.

While this is going on, Zedd creates the Bloom of Doom, which will give everyone bad allergies. Speaking as someone with horrible allergies, this is a perfectly good way to conquer the planet. Zordon notices the monster (although he hasn't yet realized that Kimberly is under a spell) and tells the Rangers to go to the cityside of the park. The cityside? How big is this park? How does the geography work? Is the other side the beach? Angel Grove geography makes no sense!

Trini is concerned that Tommy's powers will fail, but Zordon says it is up to Tommy, and Tommy is determined to go fight.

Meanwhile, in Kimberly's garden, her communicator beeps, and Kimberly does the best over the top perky voice ever when she answers. Oh, Kim, I ♥ you. Zordon comes up with a new weapon for her, which is a ribbon. It will... do something. IDK.

The Rangers all go to fight the monster and the fish take over the episode. What's the point of Zedd's plan again? Kimberly is still fighting the monster, and the other Rangers are concerned about her, but it isn't tearing the team apart, so I really don't know what Zedd was trying to accomplish. However, the Bloom of Doom spits its fire pollen at them, and they are so overcome by the allergens that they start doing flips. Kimberly almost manages to destroy the monster with her ribbon thing, but Trini tries to finish off the monster by hitting it, which temporarily shreds the ribbon, and Kim yells at her. That isn't really Trini's fault, nobody bothered to fill her in on the new weapon. Fail, Zordon! Anyway, somehow Kim gets stuck in another dimension, the other Rangers all miraculously recover from their allergy attacks, and they go back to the Command Center to discuss.

Billy's suggestion is that Trini needs to throw her daggers at a 90 degree angle and that will a) free Kimberly and b) break the spell.

... OH, SHOW. For real? Okay. I guess that isn't quite as bad as negative protons. Trini does so, and Kim is free, and then they all summon the power weapons and defeat the Bloom of Doom.

Back at the Youth Center, the club fair is still apparently going on, since there are a bunch of girls who were apparently sent to the wrong location to sign up. The principal apologizes for messing up the ad in the school paper (... the principal does the ad in the paper? Oh, Angel Grove. Fail harder.) and Kimberly says next time she'll call all the girls personally. But if she knew they wanted to sign up, why didn't she call them before she flipped out? Meanwhile, she apologizes to Trini for being a giant bitch, even though she was under a spell. Whatever.

Bulk and Skull show up and threaten to reveal the identities of the power rangers. They don't. For some reason the Rangers actually appeared worried.

Oh, and Bulk introduces himself as Indiana Bulk, and I demand that a crossover exist immediately

Fish: 3.5. Zedd's plan makes no sense.

Billy speak: "It's incendiary pollen, I feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust."
"If you throw your daggers at a 90 degree directional course"

Questions: Describe the geography of Angel Grove. We'll give you a cookie if you can!

Episode 65- Putty on the Brain

So today's episode is one I've watched rather often. It's a good Billy AND Zack episode, and I've always loved it, fish-filled though it is.

We start off with Zack running up to Billy in the school hallway with some sunglasses on. They're 90'slicious, dear readers. Zack has a pair for Billy as well as apparently they are supposed to be the protective eyewear for science class. Okay then...

Zedd sees this little exchange and decides to shake things up amongst the rangers. He puts a spell on the glasses so Billy and Zack will see the others as putties. Goldar tries to throw some logic into the plan and points out that they could just take the glasses off, but Zedd scoffs at the mere thought, seeing as the rangers are "no mere humans", and continues on with his dastardly plan.

So Zack and Billy put on their glasses, in the hallway and not in science class at all, and get zapped by evil red light. Suddenly Tommy, at his locker across the hall, looks like a putty. And comments on how he almost overslept and is late (is he ever anything else?). Kim and Jason come up and also look like putties. Billy and Zack freak out, can't seem to tell the voices are coming from the "putties", and "rescue" Principal Caplan by knocking him down when he walks up. As he's wont to do to students who accidentally knock him over, he gives them detention.

Bulk and Skull are walking down the hall trying to figure out who the power rangers are when Mrs. Applebee corners them. She needs them to feed her pet iguana while she runs off some copies of the test. Why she has let the iguana reach a point of starvation that it must be fed right that minute and couldn't wait for her to finish the copies, I'm not sure, but as she's entrusting the job to Bulk and Skull and insists it must be done, the situation must be pretty dire for the poor iguana. Bulk dumps an entire box of iguana food, which looks suspiciously like Cheerios, into the tank. Skull says he'll grow big and strong, and then he does. Because Lord Zedd has turned him into a monster. And somehow gotten hold of a salamander to cross with iguana with to make the monster. I... got lost a bit there. Bulk and Skull, probably getting used to monsters appearing in front of them now, wait a beat before freakout.

Later, in detention, Bulk and Skull slip on Billy and Zack's sunglasses. They get zapped by evil red light and suddenly see Billy and Zack as putties. They drop the glasses and run out of the room in their second freakout in the span of about five minutes. We're pretty sure the spell wasn't supposed to affect normal humans at all, but maybe that just means Bulk and Skull should have been power rangers.

In the park, Billy and Zack are confused about their sexuality. Zedd has determined that they're going to "finish each other off". Oh show, you and your slashy goodness, you just make it so EASY. Zack figures out that some putties on the playground equipment are not, in fact, their friends and they fight for a bit. The others teleport in and Zack and Billy can't figure out who is ranger and who is putty. They fight anyway. Zack accidentally attacks Trini and only then do they decide maybe, just maybe, they ought to contact Zordon about this little vision problem of theirs.

Zordon tells them of more pressing matters with the Salamander Iguana Monster Thing. Apparently it can breathe fire. The brilliant plan is for Billy to create an ice device to cool it down and this will beat the monster. They apparently forget just what luck Billy has with monster-beating devices.

Tommy says he has to stay behind because he forgot to recharge his powers again and the others wait anxiously to go fight. Billy and Zack go to Billy's awesome garage to build the ice device and it seems to take no time at all. Trini teleports in and tries morphing to see if she still looks like a putty when morphed. She doesn't. She looks "like the yellow ranger" and the only thing I could think of was "only with breasts!". Problem temporarily solved! They have to rush off and fight with the device untested, of course. Why do I sense a "science doesn't work that way" coming up?

So they go fight and somehow Billy and Zack end up separated from the others. They try Billy's ice device but, unsurprisingly, it doesn't work. Why am I not surprised? Billy discovers it's missing an extra computer chip that he just so happens to have on him... somewhere... and he slides it into place. Magically, that solved everything and the device now works. This stalls the Salamander Iguana Monster Thing long enough for the others to... come from wherever they'd been hiding. They blast him with the power weapons and almost destroy him but Zedd makes him grow. We're treated to a really long zord summoning sequence and oh I didn't miss these at all. They pull out the Thunder Sword, which I can only assume is the Power Sword: The Next Generation, because it does the exact same thing as the power sword. It magically saves the day and destroys the monster.

Back at school, the iguana appears in the middle of class. Jason, Kim, and Tommy come running in with the sunglasses in hand. Apparently Alpha was able to use some special energy beam and reverse the spell. And if you buy that as proper science, I have some amazing ocean front property in Arizona I'd love to sell you. It works and Billy and Zack can see their friends as normal again. Meanwhile, Bulk and Skull have discovered the iguana and make adorable iguana faces at him while trying to get him to sniff out the power rangers. The rest of the class runs screaming for some reason.

I'm left wondering why Bulk and Skull don't still see Billy and Zack as putties. After all, they were affected by the spell and never received the counter-spell to negate the evil magic. So shouldn't they still see Billy and Zack as putties? They must have run into some fish interference.

List time:
3 fish. Not too bad, but there were some glaring contradictions.

Billy speak: "The lenses and frames seem especially sturdy. They should be more than adequate to protect our eyes during our lab experiment."

Covered in food: Nobody, but Skull was covered in iguana, and adorably so I might add.